Neurotoxins: They Hurt - A Batch of Listener Stories Including a Snowmobile Moose Flip, Multiplying Bears, and More

Hello to conclaw listeners. We have tooth and claw podcast here. Where's here? We are in Asia, yes, I think you're in Indonesia, okay it's the name of the island.

Komodo? No. Oh, close. I don't know. Flores. We're on flores. Yes, but it's in like the lesser summed islands which are commonly kind of referred to as the Komodo Islands. And why is that? Because one of the islands is named Komodo. And we're going close to that island, but not actually going to that island. Is there Komodo dragons on the island where on right now? Yes, but they're not common on this island. Oh, wow.

“But I may have seen one today actually. Really? A little one. And it is usually younger ones that are on this island. How big is it little one?”

Like about three feet long. I sure it wasn't. It could have been another monitor. It wasn't cat. I'm sure it wasn't a cat. Could have been an Asian water monitor, but it was definitely a monitor lizard. Last night, you saw a cat and you yelled at the whole group. I did. It was a little bit much because I wasn't between two of like two of our groups that it's kind of split up and I saw I shine and I thought it was like a leopard cat and I didn't know if there was any wild cats in Komodo. And so I thought it was one of those little leopard cats we'd seen in Borneo and I got really excited over excited and you guys had already seen it.

Did you spot anything first under a little night? I saw one of those baby vipers first. Oh, yeah, we saw some vipers not as cool as dodge version.

I think that's fair. You do. Yeah, like dodge vipers are pretty sick. Yeah, I really like the vipers we saw though. We saw the lesser soon to island pit viper. It's commonly known as like an insolaris viper because that's his Latin name and we saw the yellow and the green and there's also a blue that we might see on this trip. And if you've seen Zootopia too, the blue snake in that movie is based off of the blue one. The one with the missing thing that's missing the thing. But ours hopefully have both things. Yeah, it was voiced by what's his name.

Uh, Q week one. Short round. Short round. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, his real name. Short round. You think those are better than the car? Yeah, I'll get those over the car.

“That was surprising for a minute because I had. So do you would rather see a dodge viper than those other co-vipers that we saw last night?”

I don't think I'd rather see a dodge viper. Yeah, but I, on that high class night, I'd be more interested in seeing a dodge viper. Yeah, like a baby just went on the branch and we're walking through the juggle on there. Yeah, that would be a pretty exciting. Well, it was great. But yeah, so today, I mean, I had an idea of comparing all seven continents with like some different parameters of like birds, cats, attack stories and just like which continent has the best wildlife. Uh, worse to best. We were going to do that, but then we're like, wait, sec, we go to Antarctica and we will have been to all seven continents, so it makes more sense to do that later. It does.

So we have some really great listener stories that we're going to do today. Last time we did this, we had a really fun time. I don't know about the listeners. We had fun. Yeah. Well, and when we went on national park after dark, Wes was like, this girl doesn't have a scar from a good girl. Yeah, you, as proved wrong. Yeah. Actually, I wasn't proved wrong by her, but I was proved wrong that geese can actually like do some damage for sure. So I do believe her. Yeah. Wes, you want to start us off? Sure. Yeah, I'd love to. This one's actually a story that someone had kind of mentioned the basic details of this story to us.

“And it's stuck in our heads and I think Jeff or our mom reached out and got this listener descended in the complete story.”

So we're excited to read it. This one's from Mel. And Mel says, "Hi, tooth and claw host. I'm submitting my animal attack story in quotes. It may not be what comes to mind with the most extreme wildlife attack, but it is definitely unique. And we do agree with you on that." I was flipping logs for salamanders in Illinois during the spring with friends. We were having some luck and a lot of fun catching them. I flipped one log to find a small mammal, the size of a mouse, scurrying for the next place to hide.

And you know, I've been there. You find a small mammal. You don't really feel like there's any danger or something. You might hear like a little nip or something if you pick it up or do something. You shouldn't pick it up. You ever think in the Scottish high games during the Cabre toss event, they find salamanders? Maybe because there's a slapping log. I don't know how many salamanders are there, but probably. You probably kill in a lot of salamanders.

This is actually pretty difficult and dang near impossible thing to do without getting bit. It is like a little tiny screw or mouse or something trying to like grab it by its neck skin.

That's pretty impressive. I should preface study small mammals, balls, screws, mice and bats for living. So I'm used to handling these small wiggly animals and know that you just have to scruff in the right spots that they don't escape or bite you. Sometimes this is hard to do when you have them in a bag and can position them any way you like. I was so stoked I managed with my bare hand and reflexes alone to catch this mammal without getting bit. It was a northern short tail true, a really interesting and unique species found throughout North America.

You may actually see the mechationally on sidewalks or on pavement during cold spells or times where food is difficult to find. Because their metabolism is very high and they must constantly eat and without food they'll just die. I've seen these before. I actually went to like a mountain man camp when I was like a teenager. Oh, I've seen those where they like make you into a man. Yeah, it's like the ones where they like you do a mountain.

“You have to go into their tent and like whatever they want to do.”

No, I'm just kidding. Hold on. The alpha camps.

No, this was it was like a boy scout thing but there was like mountain men there too.

And there was this guy who had caught a pretty rattlesnake and I caught a shrew. I caught one of these shrews and I put it in with a prairie rattlesnake and watched it kill it and eat it. It was really neat. Wow. When you say that you stressed out that shrew?

I would say that I wouldn't do that anymore. But yeah, I don't think I did that. I'm for sure. It had a very stressful experience. Yeah.

I wouldn't give it a wild animal anymore. I don't think it's fair. But I did do it when I was a teenager. I was probably 15.

“They're about the size of a mouse but they stand out with beautiful velvet for tiny eyes and ears.”

Point it snouts in an extremely short tail. Don't be fooled. These shrews are carnivorous and mostly insects, worms, snails, spiders and even other small mammals on occasion. In order to tackle prey, keep up with the high amount of food they need, they secrete venom. They're the only venomous mammal in North America.

Well, yeah. The venom will paralyze and kill prey so the shrew can eat it or store some for later. I had managed in my excitement for catching critters to do this without getting bit by the shrew.

I was so excited telling my friend all the biology about the super cool mammal just dorking out for a second.

I wanted to point them to the teeth, which are iron-red fading to black, a very unique characteristic in shrews. As other biology students, they were impressed and excited too. As I pointed to the shrews face, it reached its neck out surprisingly far and bit into my pointer finger, hard with its front teeth. It latched on.

Oh, no. She did such a good job until she was shining off at the end. Yeah, you know, she flew too close to the sun. I don't know. Like that one guy.

If it's like an inspector gadget neck, like your ten feet away, you don't expect a neck to be like a standard. Yeah, I want to know how far the shrew can stretch its neck. Like Dalsam again. No. I'm going to, from now on, I'm going to try and get a Dalsam reference in every episode.

I didn't encourage it. It latched on. I tried to pull my finger out while still scruffing with the other hand. It'd let go after maybe 10 seconds, and I set it back on the ground near the lock. It's a long time to have a road in biting you.

My friends were like, "Whoa, are you okay?" I brushed it off and quietly squeezed the tip of my fingers we walked. I thought if I squeezed it, I wouldn't get any potential venom. Which we know isn't really effective. Once that venom's in your bloodstream, it's in there.

I didn't know that was shrews though. Pretty much any venom. Yeah. Because like a snake they get their teeth way into you. Yeah.

I sure it feels like I could get it some other venom. Yeah. I shouldn't speak like authoritatively on that. But from what I understand, like pretty much all of them, because it has to get in to either like your tissue or your capillary system or your blood.

You can't like get it out once it's in. Even if you pee on it. Are these shrews? Are these shrews?

“Is the administration method of administering their venom basically the same as what snakes are doing?”

No, it sounds like it's more, I don't know, again, I don't know too much about them. But it sounds like it's more secreted almost. So to me that kind of feels more like maybe like what we would see with a healer monster or like a monitor lizard where they have to like bite down in that pressure kind of just like secretes it out. Okay.

But I'm not sure. That's a good question. As we hiked back to the car, the tip of my finger was kind of red, but I'd also been pinching it so I figured it was just irritated from the bite location.

I started getting nervous and thought I would call my supervisor. She is someone who's driven every dirt road in Minnesota in search of rare small mammal species. I thought if anyone had ever been bit by one of these before, it would literally be Gerda. Gerda. It's a good name.

I like that. I called her up right here.

“It's just like Gerda up your loins is like a good thing about, right?”

Yeah. Gerda. Yeah. What is a loin specifically? What am I girding?

I don't even know what either those really mean. Yeah.

But I always knew it meant kind of like pick yourself up.

It kind of sounds like give yourself a front wedgie. Yeah. It kind of does. Like, I don't love your pants. Oh, it's hard as you can.

Yeah. Is that like pull yourself up by the bootstraps? I don't know. Well, a lot of the mysteries out there for science to solve. A lot of people needing to be told to put their pants on.

I'm not wearing my pants. You haven't droided your loins. I haven't dirted my loins. We are in a hot hotel room in Indonesia. So I'm I'm pantsless.

Right. Like dolphin. Yeah. Just like dolphin. I called her up, Gerda.

And told her what happened. Expecting a yes. That's happened to me. Instead, she said, "Hello, no.

“I've never let one of them hang on long enough to pump venom into me."”

Crap. So I googled what happens when you get bit by a venomous mammal and found an account for Minnesota, where originally from Mel connected us to an actual paper about it, I guess? Okay.

And it's called or some effects of the bite of the short-held screw 1973. The describes some pretty terrible symptoms associated with the bite from a short-tailed true. But their whole body eventually experiencing pain, spending at least one day in bed and feeling weak, no appetite, not being able to work or use their hand, the whole nine yards.

No, how he describes getting bit in the first place with the hand he is scuff, scruffing because these screws are dang hard to scruff with their long necks.

And that's something I never would have expected from a screw.

Because mammal venom usually is just like defensive and not really like something they're using all the time. Yeah. And so it's surprising to me that it would be that potent. Yeah, that is interesting.

I watched as a redness grew from the back of my hand creeping up my arm. I did have some similar symptoms initially described in the account. Like a throbbing feeling. Oh, and the red and flame scan that was also near my elbow. I did feel some pain on the upper side of my arm into my hand.

Like a doleake as if a stack of books have been dropped on my arm. It's very descriptive. It's a great, yeah. And how is she? I'm looking at that.

It happens all the time. Ah, coyote, Peterson, never. Never that way. True. It's probably pretty bad.

Hard to say. Yeah. It's better. Where's the night? Oh, the band did hornet.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for doing that. Oh, search Jeff.

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that they likely didn't even know existed? It's a good point. And you're going to have to pay like 30 grand just to talk to them. I didn't want to be pumped full of meds and thought I'd just waited out. Maybe write an updated account from the 1973 article. It's a true scientist. I'm vaccinated for rabies, and that wasn't a concern with the species.

My arm had that dull ache for probably three days, but I was able to use my hand just fine.

I was able to walk, did not lose my appetite, or feel drowsy. And that's pretty weird that they got bit in the hand, but the arm in the elbow was like the achy thing. Yeah, and it's interesting. I felt pretty normal other than the dull ache. The bite did not become infected, and I started to heal.

I asked Gerta about the article, and she laughed saying the person was a little over the top, maybe known for dramatic. I laughed at the fear it induced in me, but also the comparison of our two experiences. So I survived a bite from a northern and short-tailed screw, and I screwed, and lived to tell the tale. I would not recommend anyone to try to get bit and find out.

And I certainly don't recommend avoiding the doctor if you have been bit by a wild animal. I've had my fair share of, and if you get bit by a mosquito, you can avoid the doctor.

“There's other wild animals, I think, a frog, a garter snake, you don't need to go to the doctor.”

I've got a poison arrow frog. A bite from one? Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it. Unless it bit you on like an open wound.

I'd be a little worried. I don't think I would. That all. I've had my fair share of volvites, and a felt-all right to keep an eye out for infections. Seems unbelievable.

Question mark. Seems unbelievable. I've attached a video of the shrew while I'm scruffing it, or sitting for my phone, and a pick-up shrew teeth and skull from the Google attached. Sorry, the story got so long, so Kate Mal was a great story.

shorter than freaking William Shakespeare wrote a whole book about taming that shrew. That's true. Yeah. It's why I like these listener stories, you know?

I had never even knew there's a venomous shrew until it's a great story.

It's a great story until it's a bit by one. Yeah. That thing, holy, macro. That's just a zoomed-in picture of it too. So honestly, it could be as big as a t-rex skull for all that.

That's true. Or as small as a bullet-in. Which hurt. That's closer to the right size. Yeah.

“Wess it with a zoomed-in picture of a bullet-in.”

Just to make, I think it was worse. Thanks, Mal. Good story, yeah. Venomous shrews. Go figure.

Yeah. There's a few venomous mammals out there. The slow-lorus. Yeah. Plata-pus.

Yes. Shrews. Right. There are feathers. Uh-huh.

Probably like a woman named Loris.

That's fast. Loris is a name, right? Yeah, exactly. It's acceptable. It's where my thinking of low-is.

Low-is. There's probably people named Loris. Right? If there is, I don't think they're fast. Okay.

I'm just a slow person name. You don't think so. Really quick. Okay. The Loris.

Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. Thanks, Wes. Uh, should I go? Yeah.

Okay. Here's the story. Starts off like this. Hey, guys. I just had to tell you this true story.

Ah. Really? We assume all these stories. That's true. Right.

“So, um, we'll start off with just assuming that you're telling the truth here.”

This guy's named Loris. I mean, he looks hell-a-fast on me. That guy is running like a 4-2-40. Are you kidding me? Yeah.

Yeah. Jeez. See you next year on the chargers. I hope. Okay.

I'm confident I'm the only person to have ever been bit by a swan in Austria in a piranha all in the same day. Here's the story. Do you think? That's what I'm excited to hear.

A wild combination of animals. That's a little one probably. Yeah. When I was in college at Grand Valley State University in the 90s, I took a job at the Humane Society for extra cash while attending school.

My brother-in-law was the manager at the time and hired me aneptotism. Yeah. This is probably why they got bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That goose was, whatever. We'll get to that one. We'll get to that one. We'll get to that one.

We'll get to that one. We'll get to that one. One day. One day is... Hold on.

I got it. It's Ronny. It really is. It's like exactly the same situation, Ronny. One day a swan had been brought in that had been hit by a car and injured.

I was asked if I could bring it to a nearby bird sanctuary to be treated. I agreed. The swan had been placed in a cage and I was given a portable dog carrier to place it in for the travel. I opened the cage and was immediately bitten by the swan, which I had no idea that they actually have teeth.

There you go. They do. They're fat free. All you guys out there didn't know. Guys and gals.

I grabbed the swan around the neck. I grabbed the swan around the neck with one hand and attempted to reach around its body to carry it out of the cage. The old wraparound move. They don't reach around. Oh, under take.

Yeah. Right. And that's a better. Maybe. Definitely better than the old creature.

At this point.

I'm going to get serious here.

“At this point, the swan started flapping its wings, striking me in the face with the power of Tyson in its prime.”

I took a beating to the face, but managed. This guy's not my fault. The creature I'm coming was 100% your fault. There was nothing. Yeah.

I shouldn't have said that. Okay. At this point, swan started flapping its wings, striking me in the face with the power of Tyson in this prime. I took a beating to the face, but managed to lift it out of the cage. Swans have numerous defense mechanisms in the teeth and wing-flapping aren't the worst.

They also shit instinctively in my genes were stained by the bird's foul experiment foul experiment. Funny, wordplay.

Uh, which I was never able to get out.

Was it spelled F-O-W-L? Oh, no. Not entirely now. Shoot. I never got it out of his pants.

Finally, I was able to get it into the carrier. I placed the carrier in my two-seat Pontiac Fierro and proceeded to drive to the bird sanctuary. It's more of a farm and was incidentally run by my high school algebra teacher, Mr. Kemi. More connections.

He's teaching the wrong subject. Mr. Kemi is teaching algebra. I think it's Mr. K-E-M-M. Okay. Kemi.

I arrived to find him out in the pen speeding his prize group of about 12 ostriches. I got out to meet him and he waved me over. While walking to him, the group of ostriches then decided to crowd around me. Sensing my nervousness, Mr. Kemi stated that "not to worry, they won't hurt you." The bird's towered over me and began "pecking" at my head and shoulders as I tried to explain to him that I have an injured swan for him.

He said okay as the ostriches continued striking me with their beaks knocking me in the head before I retreated.

Mr. Kemi laughed it off. He was also the high school wrestling coach and didn't care for. He took the swan for me and I headed home to where I had pet piranhas in a tank.

“This is gotta be where the piranhas get him, right?”

Probably. He's like I also had a ticket to Brazil that day. Yeah. We'll see though. Yeah.

Okay. This was in Michigan. This was in Michigan. You could buy them at the pet store because they couldn't survive the cold Michigan waters. I had two of them.

The bad thing about piranhas is pets is they make a mess out of the tanks. I had previously impressed a friend by feeding them a hot dog and the tank was now filthy so I decided to clean it. I'd be impressed. As a friend, I'd be like oh that's sweet dude. I mean if you're gonna have piranhas.

Yeah. You might as well show them off a little. Yeah. What would you name your piranhas? Joey Chestnut, right?

Oh that's a good name. That's really, I like Kobayashi better for piranhas too. I like hot dogs. Good thing to. I feel like it's like a fun, impressive food to throw in there to see how fast they can eat.

Like Mike, we're trying to figure out how fast he can actually eat a hot dog. Yeah. And like a piranhas seems like they could do it pretty quick. Give me 15 seconds that dog is gone. I don't think it's watching me.

Watch me. We gotta do this. I don't chew. I don't chew a dog.

“I think that should be like a bonus content for Patreon.”

We need to film you eating a hot dog and see how fast you can actually do it. Okay, catcher. We can blur your face. I carefully placed please do. I carefully placed one piranan to a net to transfer it to another tank so I could clean

there's the fish leaped out of the net and I instinctively grabbed it in midair so it wouldn't slam to the floor. It's great reflexes.

I landed it landed in my hand mouth first and closed its jaws around the skin.

Just below my pinky finger causing it to bleed for what seemed like hours. Ouch. I meant yeah. Out. One to ten out cheese.

With all three. Yeah. One. Okay. I managed to finish the cleaning and took a much needed break.

It was a long day for all what's this good and crisp. This happened in 1996. After finding your podcast I felt you guys would appreciate the story more than anyone. Chris Parkman. I like that story.

It's a great story. It's a great story. Yeah. I have one. Let's hear it.

Okay. Angry mousse and the snowmobile. Ooh. By Matt Calderham. Are we doing last names?

Yeah. I did. Okay. Yeah. Me too.

I hesitated but I'm going to put it in the email. We'll bleed it out. No. There you don't get it. Well now I have to mine.

Okay. All right. We're going for it. Yeah. So this story is from January 2009.

Okay. I'm going to read it like I'm him now. This story is from January 2009. When I was snowmobileing with friends. In Grotten State Forest in Vermont.

We've been riding all weekend and we are getting ready to consider leaving to head back to Connecticut.

Same as last year. Right. One last case. Yeah. Getting too old for this.

Except for ironically. Fast seven. When they gone one last ride. Yeah. And they leave like.

It was one of the best friends forever. Yeah. Yeah.

“And that's ironic because in real life he was dead.”

Yeah. And the guy in the movie was just a computer. And his brother. We were about halfway through the ride. And traveling at a pretty good rate of speed.

Probably between 65 and 70 miles per hour.

On some straightaways that were basically long straight tunnels.

Both sides of the trail were lined with heavy. Drooping pine trees that were laying low due to all the snowfall that year. So you really can't see anything if it were across in front of you on the trail. The trails in this area were only wide enough to allow two snowmobiles to pass each other. Maybe 10 to 12 feet wide.

My friend was ahead of me by about two or 300 feet. And was coming to a turn where he disappeared. Just as he was about to leave my sight, something else caught my eye. Entering the trail about 150 feet in front of me. It was a bull moose.

You said bald eagle. I said snowmobile. It was not the other. Yeah. Option here.

Yeah. Not wouldn't be a good result. About six feet tall at the shoulder.

Just casually standing there.

“If you know anything about snowmobiles, they generally don't stop very quickly.”

Did you know that? I didn't know. I'm not overly intimate. Did you less? Yeah.

I wrote a lot of snowmobiles doing polar bear work. So I knew that. I don't just say they stop. It takes a second. If you're going fast.

It really depends on the type of snow you're in. But yeah, they do kind of slide to a stop. So the brake controls the track of the sled. When you try to stop fast, you grab the brake as hard as you can. Which locks up the track and causes you to simply slide.

Which makes sense. Yeah.

I was probably traveling around 65 miles per hour at this point.

And new, I didn't have enough distance to slow down before hitting the moves. With no way to go left or right off the trail. Without hitting a tree, the only option I had was to try to jump as my sled was about to hit the moves. To like jump over the moves? Yeah.

James wrong. That can't have been his only. That was the coolest option.

“I mean, I think it's a pretty tight window.”

Sure. Yeah. So I think he meant like jump to the side though. Yeah. Well, okay.

I'll tell you. All I remember is jumping as hard as I could off the running boards. Letting go of the handlebars and my knees and quad muscles hitting and sliding over the Moose is back. Oh, it's crazy.

Yeah. As I went over it. This essentially turned me into a giant lawn dart now going headfirst into the trail ahead of me. I don't think I had a concussion or blacked out, but there was a moment where time seemed to slow down. Yeah.

For sure. I think that kind of turns you into any projectile. I like it. Yeah. Not so much like just a lawn dart, but I do like how you spread another one.

One of the little people in Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

A regular dart. Yeah. I got it. I got up from the trail and saw that my sled had veered off and to the left and crashed into a tree. When I turned around, the Moose was lying in the middle of the trail, thrashing because my snowmobile had broken one or two of its legs.

Oh. I was standing there in the cold empty forest. My friend was gone at this point and had no idea what just happened behind him. I watched the Moose struggle to get up which eventually did and it ran off through the four to five feet deep snow off the trail. Hmm.

One of its legs was definitely very badly broken, but Moose are incredibly tough animals. It made it about 150 feet away while I sat there trying to assess whether I had any major injuries other than having the wind knocked out of me and my knees and legs being pretty sore. I was okay. Then I quickly realized this entire event was not over. The Moose having come to its senses and realizing it had just been hit by a 400-pound snowmobile was clearly upset.

It started snorting at me and staring through the thick winter tree line. It then began coming back towards me. I started looking for a tree to climb because I had no idea what else to do. There was nowhere to run except up the trail since the snow off the trail was far too deep to make any headway. I started jumping up and down yelling and waving my arms, but the Moose kept approaching was probably about 30 feet for me at that point.

Luckily, another snowmobile, right? Yeah. Snowmobile.

Happened to come down the trail and the sound of the sled caused the Moose to turn and continue the opposite direction.

As a side note, I tried to get this snowmobile to stop, so I could tell him to go and find help, but he didn't stop and barely acknowledge me. Wow. Even though my sled was smashed into a tree off the side of the trail, people can be absolutely terrible. Eventually, about half an hour later, my buddy realized that I wasn't following him and came back to find me in the sled in a mess. We hooked the sled together.

And with the toe strap, he pulled me about seven or eight miles back to his cabin. He also didn't believe me initially, but I had grabbed a small pile of snow with blood and Moose hair in it. Also, there's a giant Moose body print in the middle of the trail. Yeah. I mean, it is like a crazy jump over a moose.

Yeah. Part of the belief, yeah. Then he attached some pictures, said, that was probably the closest I've ever thought I was to dying. Once I got back, everything started to sink in. I became very sore, and the small breakdown where I just started crying.

It was kind of funny in a way though, because they had a small cattle farm on their cabin with these fuzzy highland cows with huge horns. I was crying while looking at these cows and they were just staring at me like, dude, suck it up. Thanks for reading, and I'm a huge fan of the podcast. And then he sent a picture of a sled and his highland cows.

“So personally, I believe I do want to see the bloody hair in snow.”

So he's got to still have the snow or I don't believe him.

That was, I just, this insane. Like, but like going that fast, had he not jumped? Yeah. Like he could have died. Right, yeah.

Like hitting some moose or thousands of pounds. Not thousands, but yeah. A moose could be a thousand pounds. Yeah. But not a thousand.

It can be two thousand pounds. I'm full moose. I think the biggest they get is about a thousand pounds. Yeah. Either way, that you're not winning that collision.

Like, yeah. Even with the snowmobile and everything, it seems like. And then also, like, if you're not jumping, you're getting stuck around their legs. Yeah. So you get kicked or whatever.

Yeah. 1,600 is what? Yeah. It says they get up. That's the biggest.

Yeah. That's bigger than I thought. But yeah. So, I don't know, it's kind of crazy. Like, it's one of those things that is kind of a movie, movie logic.

Like that doesn't work in real life. Right. And that worked. That's crazy. Yeah.

Good reflexes. The moose ended up dying, hopefully, a mountain 9/8. Yeah. If it walked off, I don't think it legs could be that badly broken.

“Even though they'd Chris, or who is this guy's name again?”

Matt. Matt. Even though he said it was badly broken, they are really tough animals. But it's like, it was like really badly broken. I don't think it would have been able to walk around like that.

Maybe his friends call him Chris. Yeah. That's possible. Yeah. Yeah.

I want to clear something up. Yeah. I said earlier that I'm not overly intimate in regards to snow mobiles. Yeah. I'm not intimate at all with them.

Let alone, overly. I was trying to say I'm not intimately familiar with it. Okay. So, sorry. I don't need to carry this.

That's what it is. That's what it is. It's just don't need the word. It's intimate. I don't think.

Intimately familiar is like people would. Yeah. Yeah. I shouldn't have even brought it back. I think intimately familiar is like an okay way to say it.

Yeah. Sure. I don't even know how you would be intimate with a snow mobile. I mean, there's probably someone's done it. Hey, Mike, how familiar with snow mobiles are you.

And you're like, I've never had sex with one.

Right.

“And I would tell you all you need to know.”

Not intimate. If someone said that, I'd be like, oh, this dude's had sex with a snow mobile. That's true. Okay. How do you feel about organizing your finances on your own?

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My wife Sarah had won an Amtrak gift card at a work raffle. Don't worry about docks and plenty of people have that last name. Don't worry about that. Alright. We did not know what to do with the card, but with an expiration date coming, we started looking where this gift could take us.

That's kind of fun. Like if you get a gift like that where it's like, we really want to use this. It's kind of a good way to make someone go on a train. Pretty cool. We excitedly discovered the Amtrak could drop us off right at Glacier National Park.

With transportation secured, we put our names into the park's backcountry permit lottery. And we were awarded our dream trip by Tinerary. For seven days and six nights, we'd backpack across the park from West to East. More nepotism, I bet. What's that?

I mean, they just sound like someone helped them out. She won an Amtrak gift card at a work raffle. But then Glacier let them go in their backcountry. Something their dad has to be. Sure.

Brad Pitt.

This was to be our first time in grizzly country and while excited, we were also nervous.

Leading up to our trips, Sarah put on the audiobook for engineering Eden. For those of you who don't know, that's a book that is very much about bears in national parks. During weekend car trips, unbeknownst to both of us, we were about to listen to a section of the book that outlined the gory details surrounding August 13th, 1967.

“In Glacier National Park. Do you guys know what happened in August 13th, 1967?”

In Glacier National Park? Yes. But I read your email. Mike Brad Pitt. 67 August 13th, 1967.

We went to the moon in Glacier National Park. That probably didn't happen there. Come on, you got this. Prisley's, night of the grizzly. Yeah.

All right.

Our first night in Glacier was to be spent at the granite cell A campground, one of the attack sites.

This obviously, that's where Julie Rasmussen died. This obviously did nothing to ease any nervous about backpacking around grizzly bears for the first time. We made our trip from Portland to West Glacier, shuttle to the trailhead and began our hike. Our night spent outside granite cell A did not bear. It's confusing any animal encounters except a baby deer.

Any thoughts about night of the grizzly stayed far away as we made friends and talked with the other campers? That baby deer is probably what the fuck dude. I'm not an animal. Yeah. Am I not the cutest animal in the world?

Is that not good enough for you? Imagine what Brad Pitt's saying. What the hell was he for? I don't know. Yeah.

Somehow. I lay me. Yeah. We saw the first bears of the trip at many Glacier, great place sea bears. We had multiple sightings of black bears along with one potential grizzly cub, which

Our hike toward East Glacier continued and on the fourth day, we shared the campground with the friendly Swiss couple.

“They let us know the huckleberries further down the trail were very ripe.”

So ripe, in fact, that they spent the previous day snacking on the berries until they were so full that they fell asleep amongst the bushes. It was kind of charming in a funny story, but it also heightened our bear awareness on day five. Yes, if you were camping in Glacier and you eat so many huckleberries that you fall asleep, you're taking a pretty big risk. That's not a good idea. Okay.

The next day, as we made our way through the berry fields, we came upon a rise in the trail. That's when I noticed up the hillside from us was the top of a brown head with two furry brown ears. Sarah had not seen the bear right away. Brad Pitt. That's got to be right.

Awesome. I and my memory haulered clearly stopped. There's a bear. However, according to her, I announced the presence of the bear so calmly and nonchalantly that it sounded more like I was pointing out a dog or an interesting flower. She continued down the trail for a couple steps before my words made sense and just in time for the bear to stand up for a better look at us. With the bear now standing, we could tell it was undoubtedly a grizzly bear. The bear seemed to be a good distance away and the realm of the parks recommended.

Oh, and in the realm of the parks recommended distance, we'd quickly had our bear spray unholstered without even consciously thinking about doing so. Good job.

Yeah, that again is why we always recommend carrying your bear spray in the same spot all the time because then you just have that muscle memory.

And do like when deniero and taxi drivers like practicing pulling the gun out and then you're standing in front of the mirror do that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel lucky punk? Are you communicating with me?

Yeah. Is that do you feel lucky punk? No, that's dirty hair. Yeah.

“And are you communicating with me is the Chris Farley?”

What is the same taxi driver? It's like, you're talking to me? You're talking to me? You're talking to me? That's what I was talking to him.

Yeah. And he says it to himself. Yeah. Like 40 times. Yeah.

But don't, isn't do you feel lucky punk to yourself? No. No. No. I don't know.

Yeah. He's like, I might have shot all these bullets. You're right. Man. All right.

Simultaneously, we started backing away to gain some more distance while keeping the bear in view. Bear watched us for a few seconds from its stance. Then it bounded down the hill about 10 to 15 yards before standing up again. And just so everyone knows like that would indicate a bear that's maybe a little bit stressed out.

“A bear that kind of is like, has checked you out and decided that you need to get checked out a little bit more.”

And so you would want to be a little bit concerned in that circumstance. Well, what I would think is there's probably cubs nearby negating any of our efforts to back away.

A second bear then stood up next to the first.

So there was a cubs doubling the bear to human ratio. We continued back away backing away to regain some of our distance. We did not want to drop too far below the hill because we would lose visual contact with the curious bears. Two bears, two people, two cans of bear spray. One cup.

Yeah, one cup. Math is still adding up okay. The two bears round down the hill a little further. Maybe another 10 to 20 yards, narrowing the distance between us again. Just in front of where the two bears stopped, another two bears stood up.

Again, doubling the bear to human ratio. Math is adding up less okay. And the four bears stared at us a few more seconds. And then finally the pack ran off down the hill. So for sure, this is a family group.

All right, don't say pack safe family. It's all right, yeah. They're not in packs, but like this is definitely a female with some cubs. So if you ever see this many bears together. Unless there's like a big resource there, like a salmon stream or a dead animal or something.

Or something else that's like bigger than a berry patch. You're going to be pretty confident that this is going to be a female with cubs. Or that it could be like cubs that have just left their mom and still together. But because there's four bears, female with probably some sub adult cubs. Or a cubs that are about to leave her.

All right. While this final run was not directly toward us, a part of me was convinced they were going to hit the trail. Turn our way and come mob us.

Fortunately, they never came around the corner of the trail.

However, no longer, we no longer knew their location or what was around the arc. The trail. So we waited there collecting our heads and giving the bears ample time to clear out. When we finally continued our way down the trail, it was at a cautious pace. We gave out bear calls, talked loudly, and held tight to our bear spray.

The trail passed through the remainder of the Huckleberries, then started winding up triple divide pass. While covered in tall brush, providing limited visibility of what lay ahead. The thing I like about this story is that we have a lot of actual tooth and claw stories that start out like this.

But for every one of those, there are hundreds that are like this.

“So I do think it's good for our listeners to remember that it doesn't always end badly.”

Sometimes people are okay. Yeah, I mean earlier in this story, they talked about it. People are falling asleep. Right, Huckleberry bushes. Oh, yeah.

I'm not saying you've had this twist though, nothing about it. We're having to take this twist. West just said as a grain of salt. Okay. Because he hates any story where people don't get hurt by it.

That's true. I need someone here. Real sick. Yeah. Twist.

All right. We hope the bears had it up the trail. Had not had it up the trail. We were afraid we would stumble across them around a blind corner. Suddenly Sarah stopped in cursed, pointing to my right through gap in the brush.

She brought my attention to a big brown rump in a stream maybe 50 yards away. Nice. This point. We were all buried out for the moment. So it was a relief when the creature lifted his head up to reveal a large rack of moose annulars.

No moose are quite dangerous, but our drag. Yes. Big brown bud and large rack. My, my, my way to intimate with the story. Uh, could have been dull soon.

Could have been. I know moose are quite dangerous, but if 50 yards off and mining its own business, that moose was not much of a concern to us. The comic misidentification helped ease our attention. That happens.

I've seen moose before that I thought were bears. Well, if they had did jump over it. Yeah. The bad part is we were on snowmobiles and we couldn't stop. The amount of wildlife we got to see at Glacier was unparalleled to anywhere else

I'd been so far, admittedly not a time of places. On our trip we saw four grizzly several black bears, seven moose, big horn sheep, too many marmits and goats to count. That is a really good Glacier trip. That's really good.

It was an incredible experience.

I hope you enjoyed our story of the multiplying bears. I look back at it finally now, but in the moment my mind was freaked out, because the biggest animal I had ever seen in the wild just seemed to keep doubling. Thanks for eating my trail tail or toothy tail on our podcast. And hope you enjoyed it.

Harrison Holes game. I have a question last.

“You know that hypothetical of like how many Kindergarteners could you take in a fight?”

Yeah. How many bears could you take with one can of bears prey? Uh, who probably like two? If all four bears come at you and you have one can of bears. I think they all came at the same time, I'd probably be able to get all four of them to leave.

But if they were coming one at a time, I think I'd probably get through my can after two of them. You get about seven seconds to spray. But how many coming at you at once and tell you aren't okay? Um, enough to where if I was like spinning in a circle, spraying my bear spray, I couldn't get them all.

Or putting maybe on me. Yeah, but maybe I could, I might be able to spin a circle fast enough with seven seconds to spray. But a complete circle around me. And then maybe I can. You think you have a chance or 12?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thanks for sending that Harrison sounds like a great trip.

“Honestly like a very productive wildlife trip to glacier.”

I think for like yellowstone in prime season, that's like a good trip, but for glacier. That's really good.

So I've always wanted to take that train.

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Okay, here's another story. I've got one for y'all. This is from Hano Carroll. Wow. Good morning West Jeff Mike, parentheses, and Mrs. Larson. Cindy did. She did, like, this was the one that we've done that she put me on to. She's like, this is, this is, this is good.

Okay. Yeah, I just spoiled. We'll sleep that. This story is good. It's in the first sentence they're going to say it. We'll still bring it, but yeah, I just want you to know that you didn't mess up that bad. Here we go. I'd like to share a story that recently happened to me in the Florida Keys where I had an unexpectedly intense encounter with a winged box jellyfish, parentheses, alatina, alata. I'm a huge fan of the podcast. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it a lot.

“Yeah, a lot of. Jessie's part, Latina. Is that true?”

Yeah, her mom is, I think, half Mexican. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I had no idea. Yeah. So I think that counts. I think Jessie could, but she's, you know, she's very, like, white. Yeah. So she doesn't say that she's Latina. I want to make that very clear. She's not one of those people that, like, says she is. Yeah. Otherwise, I would know. Yeah.

She I've never heard that from her. That's cool. Okay.

So Hannah, works in conservation wildlife biology here in South Florida, based in the Stewart area. I'm really dox in this person for the year. My days are usually filled with wildlife surveys and prescribed burns across, prescribed burns across the region. Outside of work, I spend as much time as I can in the water spearfishing, free diving, and doing underwater photography. Cool.

My boyfriend and I planned to trip down to the Florida Keys last weekend to go lobstering and offshore spearfishing for Mahi Mahi tuna in Hawaii. Wow. Like, Mario. I think it says Hawaii. Isn't that Luigi? I isn't that the chocolate milk or is that's you?

“That's you. I think Luigi says water. Wow.”

Wow. I that doesn't like it, Luigi. You're right. Mm. Good call. Thanks. I know those waters well. That's where Mike's in expert. It's like when we get a bare fact on you. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah. That's great. No. I'm proud of you. Thanks. So Hannah knows these waters really well. Which my dad would say that just once.

I lived in the Keys for four years working. I'm not gonna. I can't do anything for you. I lived in the Keys for four years working as a park ranger at Islands near Kylargo and islamorata.

The plan was simple. Drive down Saturday morning. Go lobstering that evening and head offshore early the next day for spearfishing pelagix. We made good times stopping to admire some of my actually. I want to talk to you.

What do you have? Do you have any thoughts or feelings about just people going out spearfishing for their own? I thought you were going to ask about that. I don't know. I think like when it comes to seafood and like that's probably honestly like one of the most sustainable ways.

Yeah.

“And these people usually understand what is okay to kill and what is not okay to kill.”

So spearfishmen are usually really ethical and whatnot. And so I shouldn't say that like for every spearfishmen but I do think especially someone who seems to be very biology minded. Yeah. This person like I'm sure they're being very ethical. Cool.

Okay. And lobster is just like eating bugs. Yeah. Were they going for lobster? Was it like lobster?

That's the first. Yeah.

Lobstering first and then the next day.

Do you want to talk about dad? No. No. Okay. I didn't think they're spearfishing for lobster.

I thought they were just like collecting lobster but maybe I'm wrong. I'd maybe give your dad a call after we were done recording. I'm recording. I'm just kidding. Yeah.

Who knows? It's a bit. Have you told him you're proud of him? Uh-huh. He hasn't ever said it.

He has.

“It's just a bit that we say that sometimes.”

Okay. On with the story. We made good time stopping to admire some of Miami's more exotic species along the way. He's been yoling cacky, curly tail lizard. That's an awesome name for a day on this.

By 5pm we were in Keylargo meeting up with a friend at a park and slipping into the water. It's here that I will admit my primary mistake. All right. It's big of you, Hannah. My friend and my boyfriend were both wearing protective shirts and gloves.

Unfortunately, I was not as smart as them and was just wearing a bikini. The water was warm and clear with a slightly brown itchy haze near shore.

Passed the first stretch it opened up into sea grass with mangroves on one side and shallow flats on the other.

We worked a shelf dropping into a boat channel and found plenty of lobsters, but all just shy of legal size so we had to let them go. Around 7pm I had borrowed my boyfriends gloves as he was having issues clearing his ears and was done diving for the day, opting to snorkel instead. As about 10 feet down after he spotted a monster lobster, I stuck my hand into a rock hole surrounded by fluffy algae and sea grass debris and a winged box jellyfish. Box jellyfish lay unseen in that debris. I felt an immediate sting on my left arm and pulled out of the hole letting the lobster get away.

I surfaced and gripped my arm however the pain was relatively mild. I did not see the cause however living in the keys I've been stung by a few things in assumed it was just fire coral. I've been stung by fire coral in the past and usually for me it hurts for about 10 minutes or so and then goes away. A large red well popped up on my upper left arm and a few more started popping up down my forearm as well. I wasn't too worried though at this point as I had been stung before and figured it wouldn't be that bad.

I was so so wrong. Yeah fire corals pretty mild but yeah. Have anything to add? Yeah. I guess as I added that I realized I didn't have anything to add.

I just think in the keenies. Yeah. No, I wouldn't consider that I'm a mistake personally. You know what's funny is when you read that and we got past it without saying anything as like oh I'm proud of them. You see that nice sponge Bob movie?

No.

You've always had a what's your problem?

I was like you never you've always had a thing against butch Bob. He's a good guy.

“So here's the thing the difference between mine and your guys' ages is the two big things that you guys were just the right age for that I wasn't.”

We're Pokemon and SpongeBob. Could he be a better neighbor? Sure, sure. It doesn't mean you need to boy. I don't hate him.

I don't hate Pokemon. I just was like a little too old. He's hard working around. Yeah. All right.

I shouldn't have asked if you had anything to add in retrospect. On with the story. We exited the water around 730 pm. At this point I was feeling very tired which is not normal for me. I typically free dive every weekend and I am very comfortable swimming in the ocean for several hours.

I figured it'd just been a long day with only one keeper lobster in tow. My boyfriend and I rinsed off at the park changed and said goodbye to my friend. I haven't seen it either. Then SpongeBob. I haven't eaten.

The new movie? Yeah, that's fine. You will. We started driving back to our Airbnb. This is when I started to think something was wrong.

My chest was really tight and I started to have some pretty painful back pain feeling much like a muscle cramp. The sting was hurting more now and it felt like it was coming in waves through my arm. I started to worry a little bit at this point. I mentioned to my boyfriend that something was wrong and he asked if I needed to switch and offer to drive. I declined wanting to prove that I was fine to myself and him.

Throughout the 30-minute drive back to homestead, the anxiety really set in. I was in a lot more pain. My back was excruciating. My stomach was hurting and I was having trouble breathing. I decided that I was just being a baby and sleep would help.

After all we had to wake up at 4am the next day to make it onto the spear-fishing charter. We loaded our bags into the Airbnb and after some trouble with the lock, I was finally able to lay down in bed. At this point, I was ready to cry. I would have been, I was like, "What's with the ant?"

This ant story is turning into like you guys acting like I reacted to it strong when I had like this smallest reaction ever.

All right.

“Or when it sponge Bob goes jelly-fishing.”

At this point I was ready to cry.

The sting site felt like hot fire and everyone else on my body felt like hot lava needles being stabbed into my skin. My back was an excruciating pain in my abdomen too. They felt like the worst muscle cramp of my entire life. My legs were cramping and my arms. My muscles started twitching and every time I moved the pain got worse.

I also had a headache. Yeah. Yeah, that's not bad. The cramp was worse. The headaches can be bad.

Yeah, my head hurts right now. I'm kind of like Hannah. You're like west. My boyfriend went to sleep at this point. As I had not shared how I was feeling with him,

I relate to that. And I understand why that's a bad move. Yeah, I think I'm in trouble here. My boyfriend went to sleep at this point. As I had not shared how I was feeling with him.

I kept telling myself that if I just fell asleep everything would be better. But I couldn't. I watched the clock tick by 10 pm, 11 pm, 12 pm. At this point I started coughing and sneezing. Each cough was another excruciatingly painful reminder of what was going on.

My skin was on fire. And each time I moved the fire needle sensation radiated down from my head. My head and face all the way down to my feet. I was crying a lot. At this point I decided to try and take a hot shower.

I've had something similar happen to me after getting sunburned. Which I later found out was called Hell's Itch. It's an abnormal reaction to sunburn where you get extremely itchy and it feels like hot needles stinging you. Hot showers had helped with that experience. And with pastings, I had had.

I sat in a steaming hot shower.

I had had. I sat in a steaming hot shower and felt my first sense of relief.

My back and abdomen were still an excruciating pain. But the hot needle sensation went away. That's crazy because I feel like when I have a really bad sunburn.

“A hot shower is like the worst thing for it.”

Oh, it's the worst. Yeah, I don't like that. Cold showers good for if you're trying to not be so horny because of your sunburn. Right. Or if you're a little Mormon boy.

Sure. I'm not. Where was it? Hot showers. Cold showers.

That's right. My back and abdomen were still an excruciating pain. But the hot needle sensation went away. That's nice. I took three more hot showers before I was in so much pain that I decided that I needed to take some kind of medicine.

It was 130 a.m. at this point. And the only thing near me that was open was a 7/11. A little ironic. There should be closed. That is right.

What was it? It's 130. Yeah. 7/11. Is that what that means?

7 a.m. to 11 p.m. I had no idea. Yeah. Maybe we're wrong.

“But that's the one close to where I lived.”

Opened at 7 and closed at 11. I'm not looking up really. Yeah. Not because I'm doubting you guys. I'm just curious.

So a bit of a miracle kind of that this place is still open. Yeah. Yeah. I drove there not wanting to wake up my boyfriend for a file. A fire coral sting as she's still thinking it is and picked up some ibuprofen.

I truly feel bad for the 7/11 guy. He saw this poor crazy girl who was sobbing and Confolcing with every step. He just stared at me for a minute before I said thanks through the tears and took my ibuprofen back to the car. I drove back and took three and tried laying down again.

It didn't work. So instead I decided to figure out why the heck I was reacting this way to what I still thought was fire coral. So this is kind of like when my appendix was about to burst. I just like kept taking pills and trying to walk it up.

Yeah. Just power through it. I forgot about it. Yeah. Meanwhile your organs just on the stage.

I started doing research. And I compiled a list of every different stinging creature in the area where I was stung. Pictures of their stings and lists of their symptoms and treatments. And between my fire needles and sobbing I found the most likely culprit. And I found a winged box jellyfish.

At this point my boyfriend was awake and asked if I was okay. I said no. I said thank you for being honest. Finally. You know it's probably what you was saying.

Finally get the true that he just gets mad at him.

I said it wasn't fire coral but a winged box jellyfish. He looked at the research I did and agreed. At this point I knew I wasn't going to sleep at all. I cried, took hot showers and cried some more until our alarms went off at 4am. Here comes the interesting part.

Although I was an excruciating pain having muscle spasms. A headache, abdominal and back pain, severe anxiety. I was not having a systemic reaction. My boyfriend I looked at a lot of sources about the species. And all of these were normal symptoms.

But the systemic symptoms were things like difficulty breathing. Tricky tacky cardia. Slurring words, nausea and vomiting.

My boyfriend had been watching me since he woke up around 1.30am.

“Keeping an eye on my heart rate, breathing and everything as I got in out of the shower.”

So because of this we decided to still try and go on the offshore spear fishing trip. As we packed out as we packed our things I was crying out from the pain still, worrying that this would be a bad idea. But I decided to just fight through it the best I could. We stopped at a gas station where I picked up some Benadryl of which I took three.

We picked up my friend the same one who was lobstering with us and drove down to Islamarata where we were supposed to meet our spear fishing charter guide in our other friends. I was still crying but by the time we got down to Islamarata I had stopped. The pain was down to about a 6 out of 10 where as it was about a 9 out of 10 for most of the night. I got on the boat and went to sleep as everyone else loaded their spear fishing gear onto the boat.

I woke up about 45 minutes later and we were about 30 miles offshore. I was still at a 6 out of 10 for pain but felt like I was through the worst of it. My boyfriend checked on me frequently throughout the trip. I even caught two fish, a tuna, and a mahi. Wow.

Yeah, that's clutch. That's like the Jordan flew in. I want to eat it. He scored so many points in that game. And MJ.

Bugs Bunny was so lucky that they got Michael Jordan. Yeah. First space jam. We all. That's true.

That's true. First was God. We got on the line. That was space jam too, wasn't it? No.

I think space jam. The aliens. They wanted to enslave the entire human race. No, they were just going to enslave the Jordan team.

“I think they negotiated down to Jordan would be their personal slave.”

First it was going to be the whole team and then Michael Jordan said it would just be him.

Yeah. Because they wanted the tuna, the cartoons to come to their planet and be like a new attract. Right. Imagine you'd like Scotty Pippin and you're like, you used Bill Murray and didn't use me. Yeah.

Sean Miller. Show us what you see here is. Um. Okay. I jumped in the water and took some videos of the fish offshore and even saw silky shark, which was

a new species for me. Cool. Congrats. Yeah. It's a great sighting.

After the trip ended around 12 p.m., my boyfriend and I went back to the back up to the homestead and back up to homestead and finally went to the hospital. I was there for about an hour and they told me that I'd made it through the worst of it and just to keep taking Benadryl and I'd be profan. Three days later, today, as of writing this email, I'm still feeling the hot needle sensation

throughout my whole body. It comes and raises my waves. That's crazy. I know. Yeah.

We honestly could have done this as like a news.

Yeah. A legit news episode story. Yeah. My back still hurts slightly and I've been resting as much as I can. My boyfriend and I even came up with a slogan for this whole crazy experience.

Neuro toxins, colon, they hurt. It's true. It's pretty good. It's a good slogan. Yep.

Right to the point. I'm currently working on the t-shirt. I'll send it to you when it's done. I can't wait. I'll wear that.

Yeah. Overall, this experience was definitely the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. But I still made it on the spearfishing trip where we got one Wahoo, five tuna, and nine Mahi-Vahee. That's a fruitful little trip there.

I attached a group photo. I'm the one in the front with a reddish brown shirt on. In hindsight, the lessons are clear where protective clothing, sea treatment, sooner, respect box jellies. This experience was entirely my fault.

I was sticking my hand in holes. Yeah. You were disturbing any critters inside without proper protection. But the ocean remains beautiful and worth the risks. Being 35 miles offshore surrounded by Mahi, Wahoo, rainbow runners, dolphins, sharks.

With a thousand feet of blue beneath me was truly unforgettable. Especially with the neurotoxins in my veins. Neuro toxins. They hurt. Thank you for your time.

Hano Carroll. Thanks Hano. Thanks Hano. All right. Let's do some category.

Sounds good. Big ol' Pebbles is a little oxymoronical with me. Then am I wrong? Yeah. Yeah.

He's like rocks. Yeah. You know rocks.

“So when does it stop being a pebble and graduate to this good point?”

It does make me want to see it. If there are two ostrich eggs sized. Yeah. I don't blame. Can I see the photo?

I don't blame Olivia. Right. Though. Because it's called pebble beach. And I believe that name again, Bill.

Thank you. That's true. That is true, pebble beaches. And swipe. There's three pictures.

Those are all grassford sized to me. Osterjack. That's right. What's it? Yeah.

Freaking tiny ostrich meat. Isn't that just a bird? That's what we did. That's Phil's also like chicken eggs. All right.

Let's go to category. It's a tiny ostrich isn't it just a bird? I think it fits a big one. It's a bird too. Right.

I've both said sausage also. We almost got me on that one. Okay. First question. I was looking at this thing that used to be a mole on my calf.

Yeah.

Because this thing used to be a mole.

And now it's just a wound all the time. You know what? Just you saying that changed my answer. It's probably skin cancer for me. Hmm.

But what a family hasn't really gotten that. Grandpa Garrett did. His was like tiny. It was pretty bad, he had to have like surgery. I mean, prostate surgery.

I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery.

I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery. I mean, prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery.

I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery.

I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery. I mean prostate surgery.

prostate surgery. prostate surgery. prostate surgery. prostate surgery. prostate surgery.

prostate surgery. prostate surgery. prostate surgery. prostate surgery. prostate surgery.

“But I think the most concerned I've ever been.”

Well, I thought I had stomach cancer for a minute.

But like, there's been multiple times I thought I was going to get skin cancer. So skin cancer. I spent a lot of time in the sun. Uh, I'll go. What's the one that most men get prostate?

Yeah. Yeah, let's do that one. All right. I mean, I, I had a doctor tell me I almost had colon cancer. Yeah.

And then I need to go back every three years. And I just don't think I will. Yeah. So that's mine. Exactly.

Um. All right. We're story. You've ever, or yeah. What's the worst story anyone's ever told you?

Did you mean, like, we're like, like, a bad story? Like, that's not what I'm telling me. Jeff, the hot sauce from Taco Bell story. What was it? Jeff told the guy asked the guy didn't give him hot sauce.

And then Jeff was going to be okay with that. I forget it was a bad story. I, I go to Taco Bell. Yeah. And I forgot about hot sauce.

And the guy says, do you want a hot sauce with that? And I remembered. Oh, yeah. I do want hot sauce. And then I said, yeah, please.

And then he still didn't give it to me. Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't know. I feel like I tend to like block out bad story.

He's like, I don't remember him. But I feel like both of you sometimes try and tell me like sports or like one piece Jeff. Yeah. One piece or like bar stool stuff where I'm just like, my mind just kind of turns off. Big ass cut off his pinky if the Texans win this.

Yeah. See, kind of stuff like that. That's interesting. Yeah. It's he does it, but he's not going to.

So like, if he does, will you be? Sure. I would think that was interesting. You can tell me that story if it happens.

“But like, I think that's the stuff that I kind of just tend to be like,”

Hmm. Okay. There was. Yeah. Mine was the box jellyfish one.

I was like, it's story. No. Mine was, I love that story. There was this girl in college who I just like had a huge crush on. And then she, we started to go in on dates.

And she told me this story that we're not for like 45 minutes. And when she was done is one of those, which like, I don't think anything happened in your like, you just described a day for like six years ago. There's like nothing to that. No, look.

Yeah. I mean, I was just hearing that you describe it. It's hard to like, tell us. I guess it's a bad category because it's like kind of boring. To retell the boring story.

I thought you meant worse like most shocking. But yeah. Oh, well, well, the judge. I mean, that would be pretty messed up. Have you ever heard the tale of Darth plea just the wife?

That's pretty bad one. That one like serial killer fish who would like kill kids. Oh, yeah. Albert fish. That's pretty bad story.

Yeah. Right. Mo with a chimpanzee story. You think that's worsen. I'll kill kids.

No. You win. All right.

When you sent serial killer fish though, it did take me a second to figure out what you're talking about.

Since. I guess yeah. Since West put this episode off till now. What? What's the worst case of putting something off for later?

Like, what's the worst? That's gone for someone. I mean, just like, they keep putting something off. I guess I thought you meant it like for us. You can do whatever then.

I kind of, I went like kind of an interesting, not interesting. A different direction with this where like, I was thinking of things I do where I really have a hard time doing them. And I put them off for as long as possible. And the thing that I do constantly that I need to stop doing is when I get an email that I just really don't want to answer. I'll mark it as on red.

And I'll just like keep doing that. Like, six or seven times. To the point where it's like weeks old and it would have taken me like 20 seconds to just answer it.

“But I just sit there and know and it sits in my brain and tells me like, you have to answer that email.”

And I don't do it. Yeah. And then I feel bad. And I just, I don't know. I just marked a mind.

She put me and breathe out to be like, stop. Yeah. Hannah procrastinated the little bit in that last story.

Yeah. We're not the last one. The last thing I told us. Yeah. She probably should act at a little sooner.

Yeah. Got that taken care of. Yeah. I'll go with that. You think?

Yeah. A little bit. She might not have gone on the trip. Had she done more. That's a good point.

But I know. I know. Oh, those were who Mike, you who. Um, you know, I'm going to go to Georgia. Our Martin.

Yeah.

“I think he was working on an all-time like story.”

Yeah.

And what makes his stuff amazing.

Amazing is like the amount of effort that goes in. Or the amount of stuff that he puts in the beginning that's going to like translate to the end. And by not finishing it. And just letting those two showrunners finish his story. They ruined it.

Is it pretty bad? And now, and now it's like, does he even finish? I don't know. It's no way. Yeah.

I think he's got like three years left. Yeah. I remember him. I won't want to finish because they kind of already ruined the ending. Hmm.

Not as bad as stranger. You guys got any general travel recommendations. Yeah. Don't you go first? Yeah.

I think one that is like a new one for me is if you got a really long flight. And you can afford like the middle class like the economy plus or whatever.

Man, that is like such a game changer for me just to have that like extra five or six inches of room.

It just made the flight so much more comfortable. And then I think I've brought up mega pillow before on this podcast. But what I like to do for those who haven't heard is if you can like scrounge up an extra one of those little pillows and blankets. You put two pillows in a blanket and tie the blanket around them. And you have like a pretty nice full size pillow then.

And it's actually like really comfortable to lay on. So sometimes on huge flights to if you choose the back of the plane. Yeah. It's a risk but you can get the whole aisle. You might get the whole aisle.

And then you can get three pillows in your plane.

“Or like yeah, even extra if you want to just ask for more.”

Yeah. But like general travel, I think the other ones that I had were just to try this is your third advice. Yeah. Yeah. I just wanted to do one more.

We've gone to a lot of different cultures and places in the last few years as a group. And then I was fortunate to go to a lot before that too. And I think the thing that I've really learned is that the most you can approach a new culture open minded and accepting and kind of the most kindness that you can show toward other people and patients. The more you're going to get back in your travel experiences. So like leave your preconceived notions of different cultures and everything at home.

Just kind of try and then let it all enter you and it can be a really nice rewarding experience. Well, maybe they shouldn't be praying on the loudspeaker for AM. I mean, yeah, there's going to be things you don't like. Maybe they should try not doing that. But then I'll try.

I think like those are the kind of things that are kind of fun to remember after your trip, even though they know that's good advice. Yeah. I would say I find a really cool nonfiction book that was written by somebody where you're traveling to. I did that for this trip and like every street we go down. I can just envision.

Oh, that's cool. The words of the author. It was by guy. I think I brought this up in our last episode, Andrea Hirata.

He wrote this just incredible book called The Rainbow Troops.

He's an Indonesian author. I think the best selling Indonesian book ever. And just the way he described it. Like I can see him in the faces of all the little children we ride by when we're looking into school year. We don't look into school year.

It's that much. But you never mind. I think you see what I'm getting there. And also bring a pack of dude wipes. Yeah.

Or just any wipe. And then you sanitary wipe dude. I know. When you travel to Asia, they kind of got you covered. Most totally.

Well, I'm late. Are there updates here? There's the high power. Yeah. But I'm like even just like an underarms wipe.

Just real quick at the end of a day. Your wipes are great. Oh man. It really is a big deal. When it first dawned on me how important it was to stay fresh.

I kind of feel like wipes don't need to be gendered. Like they really don't need dude wipes. I think no. I think it's kind of a stupid name. Yeah.

But I think it really opened the door for a lot of dudes to start being a little more hygienic. Because things were being marketed.

“You need to go back to one of those mountain man camps.”

Yeah. I just feel like that's kind of a silly thing. Dude's don't feel comfortable buying wipes until they're like dude branded. Well. Okay.

Showtaste all you want. It's smart. It's a smart idea. Yeah. I mean, if Mike said bring baby wipes.

We'd be like dude. That's what I brought. You're bringing.

You think freaking. Yeah. That's absurd.

No market them to babies specifically.

So West is a baby in Mike's. Yeah. Yeah. Baby's can be dudes. Dude, baby.

“You know what I like to do is just leave a little extra room in my personal item.”

My backpack. Yeah. And then I'll wear sweatshirt. Some planes are really hot. Some planes are really cold.

But then that extra sweatshirt. Like you can use it as extra pillow. I, I've been like trying to help my lower back pain. And my, I'm going to like a dry needleing lady once a month. And she was showing me this thing you can buy on Amazon.

That's just like a little oval like cushion that you're supposed to put behind your back on planes. Yeah. My sweatshirt works perfect for that. Just rolled it up. Put it behind my on my lower back.

The whole flight. And I think it helped a lot. It was a long flight. 10, 17 hours. Yeah.

I was there. Yeah. Remember? Yeah.

That's a lit suggestion, Jeff.

Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty lit. It was hype. Favorite recent sports story.

West is going to be bored. I heard him's crazy. I don't.

“The only one I could think of is like the NBA gambling thing.”

You like that. It is interesting. It's pretty bad to bet on the sport. You do badly in a game in this sport. You play.

Yeah. And to me, it seems interesting because it feels like it's penetrated a lot deeper. Then. That's fine. That's good.

Way to play it. No. It went a lot deeper than you would have thought. Like a lot of people are involved. So I think it's interesting.

But I don't follow sports stories that much.

I don't even follow sports that much. So like, I don't know many stories. So you guys go ahead. Okay. Yeah.

I went curling recently. This is more of a personal story. It was sweet. I recommend it. If there's like a curling.

I don't even know how you'd say it. Rink. Yeah. A rink smoothen the ice. I did some brooming.

I did some throwing. Okay. Man. It was really. It was kind of like shuffleboard.

But a little more involved. And you know shuffleboard. Oh my god. I love shuffleboard. That's one of the best things you could possibly do with your time here.

That's fine. I took a curling class. So college. That's great. I want to do it again.

You know what? I'm just going to go with UFC at the White House. Gosh. It's just like a lot of drama. And it's interesting because some of the fighters.

It's just like this is my life goal. Now like I want to fight at the White House. And then some of the fighters are like, like, there's no two fans. It's just the ultra rich pedophile guys.

And like, I'm like fighting, risking my life in front of them. Like it feels very hungry games. I'll like to think of was the scene in Django on Chand. In Candyland where he's just having his slaves fight each other. Just like watching by himself.

It's like crazy that it's really disturbing. Yeah. So that's kind of interesting though. I think it'd be sweet if we got like barren Trump on the card. Right?

He's like, eat feet tall. Yeah. What they should do is like, if someone they should have like a round robin or whatever, where someone has to like win a bunch of fights. But if they do, they get to pick someone from the audience that has to come fight them.

That's really good. And they can pick whoever they want. West. Yeah. Well, you see Melania with me?

Melania. The movie? Oh, absolutely not. I think we should camp out. I hate the director of that movie, too.

“You remember when we used to camp out a night before a big movie?”

Right. Timothy Green. You think like if we camped out, the theater would be like, you're gonna buy like Melania murder.

I actually think we could make the news if we got like our listeners to come camp out with us. I don't want anyone to see that movie. Forever atner is a bad guy. I could watch an entire movie of her reading Christmas books to give. Cookies.

Cookies. All right. Thanks guys. Thanks for the stories. It's great.

Yeah. Thank you so much. That was fun. Those are some good ones. All right.

We'll see you later. See ya. Love you. Bye. (upbeat music)