Why My Mom Was Actually Right About Everything

I'm saying, you can say that you're a hero. You're a master of the club, right? But you don't understand. Exactly. The man is jealous. He's a master of the club. He's a master of the club. He's a master of the club. That's right. He's a master of the club. He's a master of the club.

Now, you're a master of the club.

So, then I said, "I'm going to cut my bangs. She'll never notice."

If you see the camera immediately in the back of the house, she goes, "What did you do?" Oh, my mom told me not to date this guy and he cheated on me with his cousin. Harley, are you okay? My mom is incredibly servant-hearted. It's just like the way that she always steps in. Especially when these moments when you really need your mom.

That's her legacy that I want to pass on to my kid. Welcome back to Always Here. We're your host, Abby Howard. And Abby Howard. And we are here to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor as always.

Yeah. How are we doing?

“Actually great. Remember when CJ's beloved cow, he has a little warm, he's”

stuffed animal. Yeah. That's beloved in our house. And he's loved it for maybe a year and a half. Well, the warm is the first time I didn't realize that you can't wash his in the washing machine. It just produces the most intense, putrid mold, smell that in Golvesier entire house.

Is it filled with something? Yeah, it's filled with lavender and flaxseed and so I got stuffed on it. And you put it in the washing machine. And so then it gets wet and moldy.

Oh, yeah. And the mold, it just never dries out inside.

So I ruined his first one. This was like a year ago. And I told CJ that cow was on vacation. Well, cow is now on another vacation. What happened to cow? Well, CJ had a diaper accident and yeah, got on cow.

So poop? Yeah. I know. It was to prove how on cow. I know. It was a dark day, but thankfully Caleb was home not me. So I didn't have to do that. Too badly. But yeah, poor cow was on another vacation. So I'm trying to decide. I made a whole video last time.

We made a PowerPoint and I said cow was in New York. And I could see you traveled the whole world because it takes a little bit for shipping. You get a budget kind of side for cows. Yeah, we love the warmies. And from that video, it got a lot of views.

So we have a good relationship with warmies now. But I did buy his new cow. It's like $20 a cow. And people are like, buy multiple. Buy multiple. What do we think? I am. Maybe my money.

$100 on cows just to put in the closet.

“I just bought one. But I think it does pose a question of how long do you go?”

People don't ever wash their beloved childhood blankets and stuff. Animals because they love the smell. I thought you're going somewhere different with that question. Sorry. Like how long do you keep a stuffed animal? Some people.

Oh, no. I know my friends keep it forever. And they don't wash them because they love the smell. The smell is comforting and nostalgic. So CJ's cow, it was mangely and disgusting. So what's the line of when you go like, we just have to replace it?

You know, I actually have no memory of washing any of my stuffed animals. Right. So maybe I just don't worry about it. Well, you know, my kids are not attached to anything stuffed animal like. Yeah. We've tried. Yeah. We've tried. I really would like to replace Pinkies.

Update. Oh, this is huge. Just wait. There's a follow-up. Okay. I was waiting for two days.

“I must take to do it. I'm sure she'll tell him the pun.”

So the other day, our oldest son runs into our bedroom at 10.30 pm.

Which is no surprise because about time never.

It's like a one-and-done thing. Or it's usually like a multiple trips, the whole process goes. And so he runs in and he'd been in his room for like a couple hours at this point. Like we hadn't seen him emerge. And he has all of his babies.

He just, which should have been gone a long time ago. And it's been attempted many times. One time, they were gone for six months. Yeah. Okay, back. We needed to sleep again. I needed to sleep without my three-year-old right next to me.

And so that was when he was actually two and a half. Wow. It's been a year. So after all of this back and forth, he just dumps all the pinkies in Matt's lap. And he's like, I'm ready to get rid of these. I want to give these to babies. Oh, it's so great.

And he was like, what? Oh my goodness. Like what in the world? And we're like, okay. Hey, he runs back to bed. Comes back a minute later with one more pinky. And he gives it back to Matt and then runs back in his room. And goes back to sleep the rest of the night. We didn't see him.

He didn't even come in our room. Like he normally comes in our room. Wow, that's huge. We're like, oh my gosh. Like this feels huge like this is like big time. Like what? And then in my head I'm like my whole Oh, look, I'm parenting has changed.

I'm just going to wait for the child to tell me when they're ready for transitions.

Night night. We're like, I'm trying to leave. And then he's like, but where's my pinky? Oh.

“And I'm like, oh. Well, I like you gave them to the babies. Like, remember?”

Yeah. He's like, no. But I want them. And we're like, no, but you gave them. We can go back and forth for so long. Yeah. Then Matt goes, he comes back in the room. He has one. He goes, I'm giving it back. And I was like, honestly, Frick. Like with some clothes. I was so proud of them too. I literally announced it to you guys and announced it to all my friends. I told everybody in the world, everyone on this podcast.

Well, maybe it'll be like a back and forth thing. I do think it's not going to be because he does keep talking now more about big boy things. Yeah. And like baby things. Yeah. And he's kind of starting to separate the two in his mind. Totally. Eventually, they will be gone. But I did have a heart to heart with his dentist. And I was like, hey, just tell it to him straight. I love like direct honesty with them. Like, I'm like,

you can't drink this because it has alcohol. You can't just cause it's caffeine. Sure. And so, but like, we're like, usually very honest with them. I'm like, hey, you have full permission to tell him that his teeth are going to get messed up. Yeah. And he goes, I will tell him that. He goes,

“but also he goes, the worst thing that can happen is that he'll need braces. And I put braces”

on like 80% of the kids that come here. It's so true. Yeah. Well, that's kind of comforting the mom. It's comforting to me. Yeah. But then I was like, but tell him, nice to get messed up. Yeah. And he was in the group and he's like, yeah, my teeth will get messed up. He's like, it's going to happen eventually. Does their palate go back no matter what? Um, I don't think it actually, our dentist didn't seem to think that was a big issue. Oh, good job on the palate. Good.

Unless maybe they're literally never. He they only use it at night when they sleep. Right.

But I don't know. He didn't he didn't mention that because I was like, I was worried about the development. He's like, yeah. Okay. Well, we'll trust the professionals. Yeah. I was like, I love the professionals. We're never leaving this dentist. We love you. That's why I'm leaving this. We're seeing it through this. Sorry. Wrong. I'm like, I used to think this huge kid and he's like, oh, I'll get there. He's already getting there. It'll be probably a traditional thing. You know, I'm not here's what I'm

“not doing. I'm not sleeping for six months. Yeah. Right. That's what I'm not doing. Anyway,”

it'll be good. It'll be fine. This past weekend was really fun. Yeah. That's what I and the whole like, our side of the family went to Flagstaff. It's literally just a two hour drive and there's snow in the mountains. It was warm. Like, apparently that we get before they got like two feet of snow. Yeah. And our weekend was like very warm. Yeah. So I'll melt it and then get ice here. I work out when we went skiing, but I didn't really need it. I took off my I had leggings and then my snow

pants and then I had a t-shirt jacket and then my coat. Yeah. I took off all the under layers and

just had the top layers. So I want to get wet. Honestly, amazing. That was not always like short

sleep shirts going down. The conditions weren't good enough anymore. No, they weren't that. They really really slushed you at the bottom, but we wanted to start the day. So it was still cold. Yeah. And it was good. But near the end of the day it was getting a little warmer at the bottom. Yeah. Interesting. But it was really fun. I have only gone skiing one time before that. And so it was good to go back in again. Oh, I love doing it. You ski. Not snowboarded. Yeah, we ski.

Like an ice ski. You guys snowboarded, but I'm not very good at it at all. Yeah. But it was fun. I took the motto from the Howard's of Howard's two hard things. And I like made me go on a on a blue. And I was like, okay, sure. Let's do it. I get up there. I looked down and I'm like, uh, how am I getting down? I got down. And I got up there and I was like, I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things. And that's where it's so yeah. I was like,

I can do hard things. I can do it. I can do it. I'm really just preaching to ourselves. Not our kids. We can do our things. I'm like, I wish I was joking. I really bad. No, it's great. I love that. It was fun.

skiing is scary. I've never seen you ski. Yeah, I haven't done it since college. I want to go back.

But I know you just have to, the initial fear is there. It never sounds fun. Like when you wake up in the morning, you're like, why did we pay this money to do this? Why did we do all the hassle? Right. But then you're like going down the matter like, this is actually fun. So fun. And so beautiful. You ski. I ski. Yeah. I in my head. I'm like, oh, I want to learn how to snowboard. Full well knowing I would be not okay with that. I was scared to skateboard. I don't like being actually

I don't like being sideways like that. I like seeing straight forward where I'm going. I also just have my two fears in life are speed in heights. So, you know, skiing is high up and fast. So, I just, I'm like, but I want to get over that. I want to conquer those things. I went on the fair spielit shields with CJ and I was like, I really didn't move. Did they see you just sit down?

But you were like really chill. Yeah. About most things. But then there's a few things that you're

“like really not chill about. Yeah. I feel like that's everybody. Caleb is like, what's wrong with you?”

He's like, you kept squirming and looking at what we're just like, I was a little nervous. Because that's ridiculous. I'm like, give me some grace. Okay? I was scared. And yeah, heights and speed. I just don't like feeling out of control of my body. Yeah, and that'll do it. Yeah. But I will go. My confession is that when Matt taught me how I said a lot about words. I do your friend. That was like, oh my god. And then I started crying.

Because I was hurting so bad. And then my tears started getting frozen to my face because we did I learned at night skiing, pitch black out, really cold. Right. And my buttered soul bag is like a weird tailbone. Yeah. And I thought I broke it. And so then Matt got me a middle school boy's football girdle to wear. Did it help? Yeah. That's actually a great solution. I still have it. And I still want you to wear it. Yeah. Well, I don't really fall any time. She's right around

“the house. I actually. You right. I'm telling you walked out of the steps. No, I should honestly. But”

no, I don't really wear it actually anymore when I step over. I hadn't fallen that much. Good recent recent attempts down the mountain. The last time I skied, it was in in college. It was on my

girlfriend. So I've never actually learned how to ski. It was just like, get on your skis and go.

Oh, you didn't do that. I did. I did. I did once. But it was so long ago that, you know, I just, I didn't really count. I feel like with skiing you can just go. Yeah, even if it's like pizza and learn how to cut and stuff. But I, they were like, at the end of the day, let's do a blue. Got up there. I was just, I had no skill. So I went down. It was freezing. It started snowing really hard. And the snow turned to ice. And then I remember I fell and I couldn't get back up every

day. I stood up. I kept falling. I finally got up. It was backwards. So I going on the mountain backwards. I was full on panic attack, crying to like the tears were frozen at my goggles. And that was the last time. That was the last time. We got to go with the nation. I would like to go over them. We're doing that. Matt took Griffin because he was like, if he's going to learn, he needs to learn when he's down. He's supposed to the ground has no fear. And it just becomes

second nature. So I agree with that. Really cute. The ladies were adorable. And the fact that my mom,

and my grandma, who's like almost 80 walked down that mountain just so they could watch him do two runs on the bunny hill. And my dad, they're like, wow, so seriously. And Matt is literally just holding him down so sweet. I was like, wow, the family support is strong. I feel like there's been a switch in my maybe we just talked about this in the college. Now, I'm thinking about their hazardous, which is me after pregnancy where I'm like, I want to conquer my fears. I want to do

hard things again. And like everything that I was scared of before, I feel like I have free will. I want to take skiing lessons. I want to take tennis lessons. I want to do all these things on bad at and get good at them. I just want to face some hood on, you know. Let's do tennis lessons. I would love to do tennis lessons. I feel like I would be terrible. Wait, we should do a segment where we talk about how we want to use our free will and things that we want to do. That's just

even a little out of our game. Yeah, I used my free will the other day and I went on a walk to get

myself a little treat and then walked back and I was like, wow, that was amazing. That's always been

an option. Never tried for like this crazy nowadays. It was by myself for an hour and a half. It was

“crazy. It's crazy. It's great. So yeah, I think of crazy. Should we do well? That's crazy. Let's do it.”

Yes, I don't know what it is. It's not that crazy. I actually think this is more interesting in kind of a fun one. So for the first time in 90 years since the Great Depression, more US citizens have left America than coming. Wait, more citizens have left America than coming. Wow. Yes. And I actually, I was seeing with that this because I know four girls that live abroad. Okay. Yeah, like they've met men, met, met, significant others, and live abroad.

And so I was like, wait, I actually know a lot of people that don't live here anymore. And I've like, far gone. They're, they're probably to keep their citizenship. But I just thought that was really interesting. And I don't think you can, can you lose your citizenship? No. Yeah, if you're born here, you're like, yeah, well, I don't know. We should fact check that. But is that interesting? That is interesting. 90 years. Because they hate the president. I don't know. I was kind of looking

up some of the reasons. I mean, I'm sure some people probably, but most of the reasons the listed were cost of living is really high in America. And it's like, okay, looked up on just Italy, for example. Italy is 30 to 70% cheaper cost of living than America. So if you can live somewhere else cheaper, also a lot of people work remote. And there's more high-grade work options. And also

That feels overwhelming to me to go live abroad. Even the thought of buying property somewhere else,

“like we know, we have friends about property in Mexico and I'm like, that, how'd you even do that?”

How'd you even go about that? That's so true. So it says you don't lose your citizenship unless you voluntarily renounce it. So then you also don't have to pay taxes and stuff in two different countries. That's interesting. Did you know that if you work in a different country, you still to pay American taxes if you're a citizen? Yeah. So even if you live in a different country and you have a job that you still have to pay income tax to America? I didn't know that. That's probably

why people would renounce the pay. Yeah, or their citizenship for us, it I guess. That's when Killed told me that was like, wait, that's really interesting. You pause your subscription to America. Yeah, if you pause your subscription pause, I was like, I don't know. It feels like, it's just like, they're like, are you sure you want to cancel? Go to your email to confirm your kids later. You can also lose it if you commit an act of treason again. See, that one makes probably a lot of sense.

Yeah. So what happens is treason also? It sounds so. If you serve an armed forces of foreign state engaged in hostilities again. Oh, well, yeah, that would be. I don't have a possibility of that. I don't have a possibility of that. You also cannot renounce the citizenship of your child.

“That makes sense. Yeah, that shouldn't be. I think that's appropriate. You make a lot of decisions”

for your children, but you shouldn't be able to probably make that one. Yeah. Yeah, so that's the well, that's crazy fact. That is a fun fact. Yeah, would you live a broad ever? What I live a broad, yes, but I move permanently. I don't think that would happen. Yeah. I don't even, I just, yeah, we're really close with our whole family. Like, I just would, it would be really hard to leave. I feel like the people doing that probably. My guess is that they're not as close with their family.

I don't know. The ones that I, the girls that I know from college and high school that I'll live abroad are close with their families. How could you be, well, they're significant others are from these other countries. They just call a lot. I don't know honestly, I feel like they travel a lot, based off of their social media and stuff, but yeah, I just, I wouldn't definitely what. I think it'd be really cool. I don't think I don't think it ever permanently move. Oh, yeah,

yeah, no, but I would love to go. I mean, everyone has a dream to live in Italy for a couple months and yeah, a couple months or even a year. Like, I just don't see myself permanently. I love America. Where are the places that you would move domestically or abroad? Like, I would love to live in New York City for just one year. See for me, I would like New York City for one summer. Oh, I don't know if I would tell you. I don't think I could do it for super long.

Gosh, I always say I like, everyone loves Nashville. I feel like everyone's moving to Nashville.

I could, when we've, we spent a month there and I was like, I could see myself like living here. If one day like our whole family moved, like I'd be like, oh, yeah, sick. I'm in. Yeah. Um, yeah, I could see myself living there. I have no desire to move. If I moved anywhere,

“go back home. No, honestly, I'm like not a travel person. I don't want to live abroad.”

I don't want to. I don't know. I'm just really stuck in my routine and my schedule and my home that I would, it would really throw me off to like go and be in it in a place. I'm not super adoptable. I've realized. I feel like you are, though. I feel like you're moved here. You've made friends join community. I feel like it's been, but I feel like I got to very like a thought-out decision of like, are we going to move here? Are we going to do that? Like knowing there's family and friends.

Like you had to like be intentional about moving here. I would never move somewhere if there

wasn't like family or a reason to be there. I don't think I would just do it for fun. I don't think that would be. Well, I feel like that's for me. That's a purpose of travel. Like I just, yeah, that doesn't really count as moving. If it's for like a temporary thing. Sure. You know, yeah. I couldn't think of any other city besides Phoenix that we want to live indomestically. And then the other place I've been just great for traveling or spending

extended time in. So, yeah, I don't only see a national thing. Nashville feels like home in a way that's weird because I've never lived there. Like it is, I'm thinking of Franklin specifically. I feel like it from what I'm sounds like it does sound like a hybrid of the fast-paced kind of opportunity. Feel of the West with the cozy Midwest charm. It really feels Midwest, not it doesn't feel Southern in my opinion. Yeah, I would consider that Midwest to me. Well, if you go to Memphis,

not that feels Southern and they're like not that far. Well, I say if you go to Springfield, Southern, Southern, Southern, Southern, Southern, Southern, Southern, Southern, Southern. I think Missouri is the Midwest, but that is a hot debate on my Instagram. You're kidding. No, it's a South. Yes. What? Yes, it's not. The South would be appalled by that. I think so too. I think you're the most Midwest that you could get. Yes, the middle of the country. Yeah. Besides Kansas, they only, we're just

kind of middle. I guess we're not really that far West. We're kind of just, yeah. Midwest is a weird name for it. But yeah, people really think Missouri is the South. Wow, we all disagree. We have

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behind the comfort and make everyday feel intentional. There is another one. Adi's going to lead this one off because I don't know anything about another crazy thing. Another wildest crazy that

we've actually talked about before, but you could never find exactly what you were trying to

“talk about. Hunter Primo, if that's how you say her last name. Oh, she's so nice about her mega bed.”

Oh, yes, I've followed that. And it just has 2.1 million views on TikTok. She posted a couple of days ago. So I put the TikTok in there and she talks all about it to explain to people about her mega bed. And it is the Laskan King bed. Yeah, it's called an Alaskan King bed. Yes. I followed her and I saw this on Instagram. We want to see it. So wait, what were the dimensions of the bed? She said it's 10 feet by 108 inches long or 180 inches long.

I don't know. I can't fathom that many inches. I can't fathom that many inches. Either buy notes probably bigger. We have a king bed in every one. I can't walk. So I just like, wow, that's impressive. The original. What did she say? She has the biggie. She has the biggie. Okay. The biggie. How much is it? Biggie Junior. That's great. I bet it's very good. I can tell you. But it's 120 inches by 108. Okay. Wow. 10. What do your guesses at? How much that costs? I'm going to say three. What?

The bed. The mattress for the mattress. I'm going to say three count 3,000. It was in 700. Yeah. But that's a thousand dollars off. So it's the full presence 4,700. Wow. I mean, but then you have the bedding in the sheet. It's custom. Well, the actual bed too.

“The bed frame. Do you want a polster leather? She had a polstered. Okay. A polstered. I think.”

Yeah, I think so. It's beautiful. It depends on what you want. The cheapest option is a platform. And it's 1900. Wow. An alpine. It's just 4800. There's a bunch of, they have a bunch of different designs. But they range up to 12,000 dollars. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It feels like custom. I feel like I could see NBA players needing beds like this. You know, really massive football players. And then mothers that love to sleep with other children. Yeah. I get it. Wait. Why is this crazy?

I think it's just crazy because, ever, there's a lot of different opinions on having a sleep. Co-sleeping, like getting a big bed. The most I comment on this is, "Do you not like your husband?" Even though the husband said he prefers it. I honestly feel that. When Kilba is switching from a queen to a king, I felt isolated on a little island in the king. Because you know, in a queen,

we were always armed to arm. Because we're both large people. Like, I'm tall and he's a big dude.

So we were, you know, neck and neck. And now in a king bed, I'm like, "Where did you go?" "Where is he at?" You know? This was my thing. I'm like, "When you're asleep, how much quality time are you getting together?" I guess more than I assumed. No, you're not really getting any quality. You're asleep. Yeah. I was getting a lot of physical touch. Non-sensual physical touch. Like, when you're asleep, you don't want physical touch while we're sleeping.

I sleep like a... Like, but he didn't drop up from me the other night. Well, he was asleep. Like, he's a really weird sleeper. Can I say that? That is really weird. Oh, what? I was like, "What?" I'm like, "You're on top of it."

Yeah, I think because he's gone all day. I love the touch of my night. Okay.

I'm a clingy wife, but it's okay. It's okay. We're isolated now. No, like, my thing is, I'm like, "If I feel like I used to think that, I'm like, but actually when you really think about it for me, I was like, "I was unconscious." Like, I'm... I'm... I'm done. I know. I go to bed. I don't wake up. Sure. Like, I'm like, so it wasn't like, "Oh, that was not really necessarily bonding us."

Just to sleep in the same bed, which we do sleep in the same bed. And our son does sleep with us, but not in the bed with us. I don't think it's co-sleeping if you're bed's that big to be honest. It's like, you have like a lot of space. You're not even near each other. You're on different planes. You're not touching each other. I've been able to dogs on the bed, too. Yeah. Like, I think they're fine.

It says a developmental psychologist here. Children will eventually want to sleep independently. Yeah. Supposedly being with children, if they need it, provide security. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm not doing it, but I don't have an opinion, really. Well, I don't think anyone really should have an opinion on how that feels. Yeah. Like, whatever. Like, what it works for you, that's just great.

Oh. Yeah, I know. I would actually, one point, Matt, and I were like, we needed to just get a bigger bed. But we also really, like, falling asleep together, because of intimacy. Right. Right. So then we, like, let him come in. Once his little hatch light is a certain color, that he can have free access to our bed room.

“No, of course. That's what I'm talking about.”

This weekend in Flagstaff is that you guys brought the hatch. And so we're all there. We're staying up late. You know, things like that. And so Blake's downstairs. And he's still awake. Matt and Abby have already gone upstairs there in their room. And Blake looks over and sees Griffin's head outside of, like, just looking down from the stairs. He's like, buddy, are you, are you supposed to be awake? He goes, yeah, I can go in my parents' room.

The lights, the lights blue. Oh. Like, doesn't know this. So he's like, are you sure? Like, are you sure you're allowed to be in the room? Yeah, the lights, the lights blue, everything. He starts to open the door and Blake's like, I don't know. I don't, he goes, go downstairs, Coco. Oh my God. She's like, it's fine. He's like, it's like, turns blue at 11.30. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I totally see the appeal. Your kids, like, everyone just,

for some families, at least for us, like everyone just slept so much better. And I'm like, you know what? At the end of the day, I just want to sleep. And so, like, that was, like, the way it was happening.

And I can see, but I can see kids being very different. Like, my second, there was just no

out of the world where he would be able to sleep in the same bed as us. He doesn't even understand the concept of it. Like, one time he woke up early early, we're like, just he couldn't hear. He's like, what do you mean? What are we doing? Yes, he did. He's kind of like, he needs a sleep deprivation tank. Right, right. He's like, where's your tent? Oh, that's where your little tent? What? That's where you go. No, that's sweet.

I'm super serious evolving into that at one point. We had this space in our room. I can see it happening. I feel like cozy being with an infant feels very different than a toddler. I wouldn't want that.

“I'd be really anxious about that. Same. So that's why I'm like, when people get upset about”

toddlers' cozy being, I'm like, why? Well, she doesn't understand that she has a controversy. She's also, and she said, she said in my video, they don't sleep in the bed. She sleeps in her room. Yeah, she didn't sleep in the bed. Yeah, I just, I don't really understand the controversy with that one. And the kids get old enough to sleep in a bed. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm happy. It'll all happen. It'll all happen. Yeah. It's okay if it's at different timing.

Totally. It's okay if your kid has binkies forever. I mean, just say that for myself. It'll be fine. I'll be still great. Hey, it's, no, I'll be trust me. I laid down on that one. I was just like,

yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I feel bad. I'm like, your mama's always, always tells the boys,

like, "Brie, I'll doesn't need a binkie. I'm like, you don't have to tell the man." The secret film. You just heard them. She still uses something. Well, speaking of mom's. Was that smooth enough? I mean, I was just speaking of moms. Today is, or today's episode is really about things, our mom's taught us. Yeah. And, you know, we, I feel like we're all very grateful to have really involved moms that enjoy being moms

and being involved in our lives, even as adults, which I seriously, I do not take lightly at all. It's like such a blessing. There's literally, there's nothing like it. So we're really grateful for that. But I think we can also, before we get into that, relate to times that we should have listened to our moms and we did not. And we learned the hard way. Yes. So we asked you guys, some of your stories about

“times that you should have listened to your mom and you had to learn the hard way. When in middle”

school, she told me, "My excessive eyeliner did not look good." And I should have listened. I wore so much eyeliner in the school. That actually reminds me, you did? Yeah, pencil eyeliner all the way around my eyes. Wow. Yeah, I just feel like that's what we thought to do. No, I wore

"No." And then I never wore again to sixth grade. Oh, I didn't wear makeup for

until maybe eighth grade. And sixth grade was when I started wearing eyeliner. And eighth grade started wearing a lot of eyeshadow. And I used to wear purple eyeshadow because I read in 17 magazine that it made a brown eyes pop. Of course. And then I used to just like pile on my face.

“And one time I had a volleyball coach asked me, "Why do you feel like you need to wear so much”

makeup?" And I know she meant it in a nice way, but I was like, "Because I feel pretty." I didn't think anything of it. Now I look back and I'm like, "I think she was trying to lovingly tell me I should be wearing that much makeup." Probably not. But no, my mom always, this reminds me, my mom always told me she's like, "Do not put a point out at the base of your neck." Really? Why? She was like, "I don't even think it was that." She was just like,

"I would literally just like, look it and put it at the base of, and now Ironicly enough that's kind of a trend." I didn't know how I was doing it super low. As low as I could possibly get it.

And I remember her and my grandma would always be like, "Abby, wear your hair down. Don't do that."

Look at that pretty down. I was like, bothering me. Let her mom. Then wrote in and said, "Wearing my retainers after braces, RIP." Oh, my gosh, it's so hard. Yes. Did that happen to you? Your teeth moved up years and years with the metal mouth. For the braces. Yeah. It's a hard one. No one wears their retainers. I wear my retainer. You do? At night. I try to wear it once a week.

At this point. Yeah. Bear. I'm like, they're there. They're moving. I never had braces. So, can't relate. Beautiful teeth, girl. Okay. Lily said, "My mom told me to not drive on oxycodone. Everyone was fine, but never again. I like leaving some space for some thoughts there." That's illegal.

“That's what it is. That's not just your mom. That's the law. That's actually everybody. Lily.”

You living alone, girl. I never was fine. Never again. That's not what you get.

Yes. She figured it out. Okay. The queen of the castle. I love that username. Said, "When she said to drive safe and at 16 years old, I thought I was a big and bad and ended up totally a car." Oh, you said drive so reckless at 16. Oh, I know. It's so scary. Oh, man. My mom and dad are right. This person doesn't have a name, but this is a little bit of a longer story. Not me, but at time, my brother should have listened to my mom for me. I was

probably two, and my brother was seven, and my mom asked him to take me inside because she was pulling the car around to wash it on the side of the house. I was sitting in the front yard playing in a bucket of water. My brother did not listen. My mom pulls the car around to clearly thinking I'm inside with my brother and not in any danger, and I'm sitting in the yard. He runs the door after realizing my mom was driving through the yard where it was. She sees him standing in the door

and asked where I am, and he is just blankly staring at her looking terrified. I was under the car, safe between the wheels, but nonetheless under the car. Thank God, my mom drove a very large car,

“and I was very small. I was not hurt at all. I actually do remember a little bit of it.”

I was wearing white sandals, and the wheel rolled over the top of my foot. I remember being incredibly sad that my white shoes had black tire marks on them. That is so bad, so scary. I actually have a fear of that with like C.J. Living in. I'm like gosh, I need a padlock every door that goes up to the front. Oh, yeah, because you know, you think you're older kid, you know, you're like, oh, the youngest can't unlock the door, whatever, but then you're older kid can. What if the

oldest kid leaves a door in law? Well, you can't leave the, um, we have like a magnet sensor, and so it says front door or it'll be like back sliding door, garage door. So I know whenever a door is a door. Yeah, it talks to you. Yeah, I should get the talking one. My parents also had the latches over the tops of the doors, so we couldn't reach them. So when we tried to open it, or you could already open it like two inches. But, uh, smart. That's really spooky. That's really spooky. It makes

me think of why he runs to the door. They try to like get not get himself in trouble from his mom. But it just makes you think of the time where your mom takes you, and cake, and you thought to chicken, and then you're watching TV or something, and then you hear the garage door opening, you're like immediately run to the freezer and pull the chicken out, you're like, everything's fine. It's been doing it for a long time. I don't know why. It's still hard. I don't know why it's still frozen.

Carly said, "My mom told me not to date this guy, and he cheated on me with his cousin." Carly, are you okay? It's his cousin. Well, I guess, I guess at that point, you're like, you're like, "We're checking in, we're checking in, we're checking in, we're gonna make this, yeah." Actually, this is for the best. It's really, we're just a boy here. I figured there'd be a lot of boy related ones. Yes. Rebecca said, "When she told me I would get diarrhea if I expired chicken

crisis." Oh, that's fierce. They're always right about that one. Charlotte says not to buy any newborn onesies. My baby was born 99th percent time. Yes, zero to three immediately. It's been

It was the table for my driver's test, and I was wearing shorts, because all over the seats, and I had to borrow someone else's car to take the test. She still took the test. She's like, "I'm getting my life." She's like, "Sorry, nothing can stop me." The outhouse? Do you remember,

I've never taken my 16 year old driver's test, and I was so nervous. I got out of the car,

and my shirt was fully soaked with sweat from armpits. I would take care of it. It was very too because you guys don't have any kind of drivers. It was crazy. You guys took drivers training in school. We took two classes. We took a behind-the-wheel class at school, with a teacher in a car, and then we took a seated class about the rules of the road. Oh, wow. You just show up.

“Let these kids out of the streets, and it shows up. But I passed it. It honestly does show up.”

It honestly does. Abby, when did you not listen to your mom when you shut up? The first story that popped up to my head when I was thinking about this, I was in middle school, and my ethnicity is, I'm mostly white, but I'm a quarter-loving age in a quarter Italian. So I have dark features, and I have a lot of hair. And I just remember very young age getting a mustache. In my mom being pretty forthcoming about helping me take care of that, the one thing that I was

insecure about that my mom was not as forthcoming because me about was my unibrow. Okay, and I kept at, I remember asking, and she was like, "You don't have a unibrow, but to me it was one." Oh, she wasn't, she was thinking it wasn't a shadow. Yeah, she didn't think it was an issue. I felt like I had a unibrow. When I looked back at pictures, I did. So she was, I don't know why she was lying to me at that point. Normally, she was very honest about those things. So I remember,

“I think I was in six or seventh grade, and I felt like I was point behind my mom's back,”

because I asked her if I could shave and wax my eyebrows, and she said no. And my neighbor's mom had one of those little electric facial hair razors, and I had never, I was like, "This is,

this is just such an incredible invention. I've never heard of such an amazing product.

I must use this immediately. I take it to my eyebrows immediately shave off way too much." This, I mean, immediately, my eyebrows went from really close together to pretty far apart, and it was just on one side uneven. So naturally, my 11-year-old brain, I said, I have to even this out. So then I went to the other eyebrow shaving that one over too far. So now I had two half of eyebrows, and then what did I do to fix that? Then I started painting. I said, "Oh my gosh,

my mom's going to kill me." I shaved off my eyebrows. So then I said, "I'm going to cut my bangs, she'll never notice." I mean, I can see that. It was a hard side bang. So I cut a crazy side bang, put a headband, you know, over it, obviously, of course. And walk at the house. I'm like,

my mom will never notice. Immediately walk at the house, she goes, "What did you do?"

I mean, it like freaks out, like she kills. I start crying, "I don't know, Mom, I go out of here, I just do that, I just do that." She said, "No, I'm not going to hurt her, crying." Just keeps regretting. Just keeps getting worse. There were a few times like that. Dang, my mom did help me with the body hair, no, I think about it, because I was actually super young, and I'm actually, how good is my memory as a kid? I don't really think it's that great,

“but in my head, I remember who this kid is, and honestly, it could go back to him. But I don't believe it out.”

You were coming for you. I like, "No, I'm still kind of his totally body has no memory of this, but in my brain has told me this story, that story time in Mrs. Smith's class. I'm sitting across like it, and he's like, "You're legs look like a bear." Wait, I'm away. I second grade. Oh, wow. This has been my mom, and I told my mom, I was like, "My f*ck!" I said, "My legs look like a bear." Oh, and then her advice, she's like, "Well, you can shave them." Wow, yeah, that's so

young. I did shave my legs in second grade. I can grade. I don't think you were something I kept up with. Sure. But they did get shaved. I mean, she's just given you a solution to the problem. I know. Maybe she was waiting for you to realize. She was like, "You're like, she's like, you need to stop, and that was." She got my, she had me regularly get eyebrow wax appointments. I did a good 7th or 8th grade. Yeah, I think if you, I will be forthcoming with Vivian about

things that she needs to take care of. Because they don't know it, and it's better to hear from your mom than your peers. I guess that's true. I remember the first time I shaved my leg, my parents' video taped it on the whole camera. And I was like, "Get out, this is so embarrassing." And they're like, "You're so cute." Oh my gosh. I'm like so home recorder. My fifth girls. I know. It's so much work. So funny. Okay, so I actually, what does this say about me?

Guys, I really tried to think of a time that my mom, here's the other thing I will say. I was a very obedient kid. Like, yeah, I don't. My mom also didn't have strict rules with me.

very motivated to never break a rule. Like, ever as a kid. But I can't think of a lot of things

as an adult that my mom advised me against that I did not follow. Sure. And we can just leave it up in the air if I regret it or not. I don't, I don't regret these. I'm just gonna actually say she was actually wrong. So, sorry. So, one of the things not to do social media. I remember, they were like, "Never for a long time, she wouldn't watch anything." It was actually just brought to my attention that this is what she does watch. She watches this podcast. I don't love you.

I know she's tuning in because we're talking about moms. I don't blame her, because that semester stuff was very coupling. Remember? I don't hurt. I feel like, even as a parent, now I'm like, I would never want my kids to be vulnerable to the internet. Yeah. Yeah, that's so scary.

And also, of course, the contour making was very embarrassing. And that also will get to that later,

but that's because of her I wasn't embarrassed by another thing that she advised me against was moving to Hawaii, moving to Hawaii, moving to Arizona, all those things. But she did admit upon

“later, she was like, "I advised you again, sad not because I didn't think you should do it,”

because I didn't want you to do it, because I just didn't want you to be away from me." Yeah, that's sweet. And I think I knew that when she was giving that advice, I was like, "Well, this is it." Sorry, Mom. That's reasoning. Another one, getting veneers, getting veneers. She did not want that. Well, she did, you're naturally so beautiful. She was like, "I just don't see what's wrong with your teeth. I'm like, "No, there's nothing wrong with my teeth." Like, and I was like,

"But I just like the way that they look." And she, you know, in your mom's eyes,

her child is perfect. And so, she also never got me brazed or anything, so I guess she really liked

that advice. Yeah, totally. So, shall I keep going on the list of things that didn't listen to my mom about? Yeah, do it. Getting married young. I didn't listen to my mom on that one. Didn't listen to my mom that one. She didn't know I'm going to get married young. Yeah. And we really had a lot of conversations about it. I'm glad we can talk about it now. Yeah. But when it boiled down to it in her head, she liked loved Matt. Like, she actually, that was,

I was very obedient. I listened to my mom. She literally had high school. She was like, you can only date Matt Howard. We've lived in different towns. Look, I freaking made it happen. Yeah. Across state lines and stay line. Like, I was very obedient. But then it was just in her head. It was the order of things. Like, she's like, you graduate college, then you can get married.

“Right. And we're like, we just kind of messed up that order a little bit. I think it's good that”

our moms are a voice of reason. Like, they're supposed to push back on our, especially our spontaneous whimsy. Especially if they're, if they're like kind of, like, not random, but like, spontaneous. Or just like, outside the normal. Like, it's like, okay, well, why do you want to do this? And so it was good that I had, like, I really had to think about like, what is the purpose of marriage? Like, why do I want to marry Matt specifically? And like, are, is this a good idea? Like, I really

had to think about that a long time. So it was good that she had to get set. Of course, we need that. Another thing I didn't listen about getting a dog. That's the next one I was going to say for you. I was going to, for do you regret that? I, it's up in the air. I know. I love, I love pretzel, dearly. She's a puppy. So she does puppy thing. She just and, in a hard state. My mom is very against it. And she doesn't hold back at all. I think she would say she was right on that one,

maybe wrong on the others. Like, she would say, oh, yeah, you got married great. Like, forming this,

“forming this list. She was like, the thing you did not listen to that you should have,”

because she's like, I can see all those other things. Like, I can see how it worked out. Was the dog. She's going to change right now. I mean, she's going to do puppy thing. Also, admittedly, we don't train her. Like, she's getting trained. But like, I'm like at this point, hey, that's just not a pre-orthy. Yeah. You do a trainer. You have the little, the little beeper. We beeper. We beeper. Yeah. We did lose that. Oh. Hey, it was an attempt.

Try to, yeah, you try really hard. So, yeah, no, I will also just say my mom is very, like, now she approves of all those things. But those were all things that she pushed against. Uh-huh. Well, actually, no, not the dog. She's very much still against the dog. I have a whole list of things. I think it's good when we become adults. I think, naturally, there's going to be that time in our life. Once we go to college or turn 18 or do things where you have to make that switch of listening to

everything your parents say and it goes from an obedient relationship to a, hey, I'm actually going to make my own decisions now. Yeah. And then it's, then it's which is so, there's a little bit of tension in there. Like, I had centuries of my mom a few years in there too. And now it's switched from, hey, we're no longer like, it's not a parent child. Now, we're peers. And now it's more of a mentor relationship. Yeah, and I think that,

not falling her advice. Right. Yeah. Like, I feel like getting choosing to get married was my first like, adult decision. Yeah. Because I was so young. Like, I was like, this was my first, then then at that point, man, I just had a hey, Dave, make my own decisions. Clearly, you really did. You put your parents. You were like, oh, yeah, I'm getting married. And then we've been like, oh, yeah, and we're doing social media. And that's jumping on a call. They're like, I didn't push back against that one that much. Yeah, I don't really know why. Maybe they didn't.

I just kind of forgot about it. I don't remember. There was just a lot of like big things that once, it was a lot at once. I put my parents through a lot. Sorry, guys. Hey, it worked out. It worked out.

“I think now that we shared things that we didn't listen, maybe should have, or it worked out,”

maybe we can share some of the things that our moms did great. And some great advice they poured into us. Yes. And I honestly had a little bit of a hard time. I had to really sit down and think through this. And I talked to my sisters, too, because when your parents shape and inform your internal dialogue and your thoughts and your life for so long, it's kind of hard to pinpoint like, these are the major things that my mom shared or taught me that stuff with me. So I really wanted to think through some of them. I got some good ones.

Was it hard for you? Or was it kind of like, you were very honest? Actually, quickly. I was also having this discussion with my mom. Yeah, because I was also like, like you said, like, you did teach me this, right? I didn't come to this. I didn't arrive here on my own. Right. I guess the first one that I thought of that,

like, my mom is always in my ear because this is something that I still struggle with a lot.

It's the primary focus of a lot of my therapy is I feel guilty a lot. Like I just have like a guilty, like, I feel like things are like, I should have done something. I don't know. I feel guilty all the time. My mom ever since I was a kid, she was like, well, did you do something wrong? I'm like, I guess, I guess it wasn't wrong. She's like, well, then don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. This feels like such a basic thing that my mom had to like really like, like,

like, just don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Like, if someone else is going through a hard time, I feel like in my brain, it's always trying to convince me that there was something that I didn't do to stop that from happening. And so, like, if anything was happening or like, okay, say for instance, like, I got a part and I'm thinking about this, like, a lot, like, I did theater as a kid. If I got a part that I knew someone else really wanted, like, instead of being

happy that I got the part because I also wanted it. I also, this also prevented me from figuring out what I actually wanted because I, like, so badly, like, wanted to please, to please others. Yeah. And so, like, if I got the part, I'd be like, I'm not even like that happy because I just feel so bad because so, and so I know they really wanted it and they tried really, really hard. She's like, I'd be, did you do anything wrong? And I'm like, no, I tried my best, and she's like, that's not wrong.

I'm like, don't feel guilty. So, yeah, I feel like that's one that I, like, currently even, like, now that I'm 27, I still hear my mom's voice. Like, literally in her voice, like, don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Your mom is a really level-headed and a great voice of reason. And so, I can see her just, and she's really good at just sharing truth in a way that's just like, why is that even? You know, it's just, it's so matter of fact,

is not a gracious way. Yeah. Like, she, I feel like I could see your mom saying that in a way that doesn't make you feel dumb for feeling guilty, but also is like, hey, that's just not true. Like,

“you know, yeah. I think she balances the thing, those things really well. Mm-hmm. I think that's”

very true. Yeah. So, that's a really good one. My mom is extremely hardworking. If I think through the people in my life and the most hardworking people I know, it's both of my parents and Caleb. Like, I'm like, these are three of the most hardworking people I know. She was one of 13, she was 13. Which is crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah. One of 13. And they just, they didn't, they didn't have any money growing up. And so, all of our siblings really had to boot trapped

themselves to, if they wanted to do something, they had to financially pay for it themselves, starting at a young age. And so, just her whole life, she's really just grinded for the things that she's, she wanted. Anytime that I would say, I want to do blank, or I wish I could

do this. I might always just say, well, just do it. Well, I can't you do it. What's stopping you

from doing it? Just go do it. Even the way you just said it, I could see Ruth saying that. We'll just do it. Just do it. Just like, why are you talking about it? Just go do it. And I was talking about this. And she actually was given that advice at her first job when she was 19 years old from a guy in the elevator at her office. And she's like, that always stuck with me. And I wanted teach that to you girls. And that has always been just my attitude like, like, if I want to try

something, I'm just going to try it. I'm just going to do it. Like, there's not a question of if I can,

“it's not a question if I can do it. It's just will I or will it not? That's good. Yeah. And I think”

that just gave me a level of confidence to try new things and always enabled me to, like, take risks. And I feel like we're taking a lot of, Caleb and I have taken a lot of risks together in our 20s. And I feel like my mom has really encouraged all those decisions. And yeah, from a young age,

that was not still with me. I can do anything. I wanted to. I always think about all the time.

I think there's something to it about, like, a girl with their dad. Like, you're like, my dad is not going to lie to me. Like, my mom will make me feel good. My dad is not going to

“lie to me. Yeah. I remember one day I was like, dad, it's so crazy. But there has been a lot of”

presidents. And none of them have been a girl. And he was like, well, you could be the first. Mm-hmm. And I was really like, okay. I could. I will be. But that sounds like a lot of work. Oh, I won't be. Like, I fully believe that. Like, and yeah, I, to this day, I fully believe that my dad thought I could. I don't know if that is actually what he's thinking here if he was, like, trying to instill confidence in me. And then it seemed like happened baseball. I was like, Dad,

all of these major league baseball players, none of them are girls. He was like, you could be the first one. Yes. Me. So not athletic. And I'm like, I could, but gosh, I think I want to do something

else for my time. Yeah. And so I always think about that because I think humility is a really

important characteristic to have. Of course. But I was thinking about this more and more. Like, when it comes to kids, I'm like, that's not the role of the parent. Like, I feel like the world is doesn't enough the knock you on your right and humble you. Right. That I'm like, I just want to speak, like, confidence into my children. Yeah. Now I do think you can cross a line with that. Right. Um, but I think you can gauge that. And I don't know. My parents just really

struggle with confidence in me. They're like, yes, you can. Or they're like, why are you not the best? Like, you're, you could be the best. Just be the best. Just do it. Like, just work hard. Yeah, work really hard and you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've taken something with CJ recently. Like, if he says, I can't do it. Mom, well, I'm like, don't ever say,

“you can't do it. You can ask for help. And that's what you should say. Do what, don't ever”

say you can't do it because you can't buddy. And if you need help, just say, I need help. Because that's a good thing. Yeah. But don't say you can't because you can do anything. And that's just, I get that from my mom. Yeah. In my dad, but my mom really spoke that a lot. Okay, this next one's actually really good. And it's as a relates to boy advice. Um, I think for a period of time, my mom was probably like, what's going on with Abby because I was not like, very boy crazy. Like,

I just, okay, I always say that you guys always think I wasn't. My mom was like, you were not

boy crazy. Ask her. No, I believe you weren't boy crazy, but the boys were crazy about you. Like, you always had a guy like that was like dying for your stories. I've heard it's more than just mad. If I have painted that picture, if I have painted that picture, then that is just my ego. Okay. It is not okay. No, you guys didn't tell us. You guys didn't tell us. Yeah, I'm like, you've never had, I never said it in a private way. It's always so nonchalant. And I'm like,

what is she talking about? I don't know. Do you want dates? I did go, okay, so this is where it comes to my mom's first, my mom's advice. Okay. She might have phrased it differently, but in my head, I internalized it as like, no boy can take a reservation on you. Meaning, like, okay, so this came into place, specifically, I can think of an example when it came to homecoming. I was like, mom, like, this guy is like literally actively driving to our house to ask me to homecoming because

his friend told me, he's like, are you home? I know what's about to happen, but I was like, but I know so and so is planning and they're going to ask me, they're already told me they're going to ask me to homecoming and she's like, Abby, no, no, boy can take a reservation on you, right? And so she's like, if they're going to ask you, it's like, whoever is asked you and you

want to go with them first, you take that, like, no one gets to take a reservation. Yeah, they don't

get to claim to take on your land. Yeah, and like, hold you, hold you, literally. No, just take claim to take on my land. Sorry. This land is your home. There's land. That's my favorite flag song. There are other flags. Oh, there's a lot of, oh sorry, great old flag is like your flag. Okay, fun, bye. Do you railed? Go back. Anyway, let's do a great event. No boy has to take reservation. And actually this did come to play now. You guys are like, yes, sorry. This did come to play again.

Even to play a couple other times. Yeah, it was like the boy's couple other times. She's like, they were so cute. You're so cute. Oh, I was like, no one gets to take reservation. And I do think that that can, that can extend beyond, like, boys asking you to homecoming. But like, basically, meaning like, you, you're free to make your own decisions for yourself and your best interest. And like, think this also wants you to hear more about the other advice I needed for

my politics plans. Like, but they wanted to. Yeah, that's do this. Yeah, that's really good advice. Especially if you're a people pleaser. It's like, hey, you don't, they don't get, they don't have the

“right to just take your answer. She's like, Abby actually think for a minute, who do you want to go with?”

And I was like, well, I probably want to go with who is like, good, like, she's like, this is like the fact that she needed to sort through all that to just figure out what I actually wanted. So I would do that. And so, yeah, and then this advice also extended to like, going on dates. Like, if a guy would ask me on a date, and I'm like, my mom, I just don't know if I can, like, see my whole life with him. She's like, Abby. Whoa, she's like, she's like, no, not that serious.

think about if you even want him to be your boyfriend. Like, just say yes, if you think it would be fun to go with him, give him a shot. And she's like, she's like, I think he's a really nice, kind guy. And if he's, like, if he's asking you on a date, like, you can just say yes. Yeah, that simple. Um, so yeah, I was my mom was my boyfriend, I think that's really good advice. Really good advice. No reservations on me. Yeah, I love that. We have a reservation here. That's good.

I'm going to use that someday. That's really good. My mom's was also similar kind of playing

off with the first. My mom was really big on fake and play make it. And she would always tell us,

“if you walk into a room and you feel insecure, put your shoulders back. Remember that you are a”

you look girl. Put your chin in the air and walk around like your, don't stink. Okay? And she meant it. And she's like, if you, you just have to go in there, walk into rooms where you feel scared and just pretend like you're not, just that you don't have to be perfect at this or whatever. Like, you will figure it out along the way. And I just feel like that I've really, that has stuck with me a lot. And there are a lot of things that I'll do or start that I am nervous about or feel

insecure about. But as you start doing them in the more time you're in those spaces, you get better and you learn more. And so it's like, if you never even took the step to enter, whatever it is, like I'll just use the podcast for say, if I was nervous to take the podcast,

and it's like if I never started it, that was too scared or wanted to be perfect off the jump.

Like, then you just don't even have the opportunity to grow and learn. And so you just kind of have to pretend like you're a professional until you become a professional. And I think sometimes people ask, like, how are you confident? Like, I'm not always confident. I just pretend. Like, I'm confident. And I just gas like myself. And it's a great way to live your life. Your mom was meant to raise girls. I feel like, like, strong women. Yes, but she did. She totally did.

It's so interesting. My parents, the balance because my mom is really, like, I would just try to be a strong, loyal, really, like, stand up for herself, very that. And then my dad is more of the sensitive, like, talker. So they have a good balance there. But it's funny that my mom isn't like the sensitive one. Your mom's confidence is contagious. Like, I feel like when I'm around her, I feel like I'm like, there's no place for fear. Like, no, I mean, she's a very uplifting person

to be around. Yes, seriously. This one's kind of too full because we did, I'm kind of combining

“two into one that I could easily separate and make them two separate things. But I think about”

my parents a lot when it comes to careers. So my parents, this is one of those things my parents taught us to do kind of differently than, like, how they did. And I want to be careful because I

don't want to, like, speak on their life story. But they're always like, do what you love. Like,

it does not matter if it is, like, not practical. Like, they weren't really like the practical action, the book I'm reading, the girl wants to be an actress and her dad is like, it's not practical. And that was never, my parents both had very practical jobs. And so, but that they would never gave me that advice. They were like, I remember being like, put guys, like, this doesn't feel very realistic because I wanted to do acting as well. And they were like, I'm like, it doesn't

really feel that realistic. And they're like, okay, someone has to have the part, someone has to, someone gets to do that. It's whoever's going to work hard and try and actually take that risk. And so, like, that should be you. And so, they always pushed me to, like, follow my passions.

“And to, I guess, not be afraid of taking, like, a non-conventional route, which is honestly,”

so ironic that this is, like, now where I'm at because it's like, even though my mom wasn't necessarily encouraging social media, she did always encourage me to follow, like, my passions and to be, like, not unconventional, but ultimately to not worry what other people think. Yeah. And they, when I was talking to my mom about this episode, I was like, what were the things that you, like, really, really intentionally taught me? And I was like, because, like, you said, it's hard to pick

piece of part, like, what came from your mom and you're like, I just have that and, like, actually, no, your parent was like, the voice speaking this into your whole childhood. It's just like, I feel like the thing I focused on the most was not to worry what other people think. And it was really sweet, because she's like, I couldn't really figure it out myself, but that one certainly worked on you. Oh, that was really sweet. But, um, yeah. So, I guess, like, arriving at a career decision

and, like, not worrying about if it's conventional or if it's necessarily realistic or other people are going to think, because I do think a lot of people let go into acting, modeling any start of business, social media. Like, there can be a lot of fears of like, oh my gosh, like, what if someone sees this and, like, it is super cringing and they're like embarrassed by it. I guess in my head, I was just kind of like, whatever, but I don't know, like, I don't know,

doesn't matter. I shouldn't say that I never like got embarrassed about it, but I just feel like my parents really just instilled this like, I don't know, disregard for other people's opinions, which was something that I think they had to do because it was like, I was not naturally that way. Yeah, I fully believe that. I did not just come this way. Like, they were, I was like,

like, everyone else. And, like, what they were thinking or if they approved of what I was doing, and so they really worked against that, and especially my mom. Yeah. And that's amazing. Yeah, I hope that for my kids. It's like, you want, there's such a freedom in your life when you arrive to that point where it's like, the opinions of others don't affect my life. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I can tell that's something your parents did because Blake's the same way,

where he's like, I don't care about other people's opinions. He doesn't need them, or he doesn't need other people's validation on who he is. And so that definitely comes from your parents and sewing that in both of you. Yeah. Like, they were very safe in your identity with them. Like, you knew who you were based off what they said about you. And it's like, okay, then I know that's true.

“So I think that's amazing. Amazing. Yeah. I got to give them that credit. Yeah, that's awesome.”

The last one for my mom that I was thinking through, and this isn't necessarily what something she told me. It's just what she showed me in her life. My mom is incredibly servant, hearted towards her feeling. Like, she sees a need and she fills it and it's honestly insane to me, just like the way I watch her days. She just moves from thing to thing to thing to thing. She's

not like a little energizer bunny. Like, she is so much energy. She never complains. She never expects

anything back in return. She just gives and gives and gives and gives to her her daughters and her husband. And I'm like, dang, my mom is incredible. Example of just like a really servant, hearted loving mom. He was just loved being a mom, loves being a wife like loves her family so well. And even just like the small things, I'll be out of a total paper towel. She'll come the next day and she'll bring me paper towels. You know, she's like really small thing. She sees

a need and she fills it. And it's something I deeply, deeply admire in my mom and like I really want to, sorry, I don't want to get emotional talking about it, but yeah, that's sweet. Hey, you can cry here. Oh, Abby, you have a good mom. I get that small. Yeah, I just think too like, when it comes to her being a grandma, it's some sweet. Yeah. And I remember right after I gave birth to TJ, Caleb, you know, we were in the hospital for quite a few days after he was born. And so Caleb didn't have

any time off of work. And it was the day we got out of the hospital. And he had to go and work 40 hours. He worked 40 hours in three days. Like right after she did his born. And I told her, they're like, oh my gosh, yeah, babe, and I have no idea what I'm doing. And my mom came and she was just like, Abby, let him work. Just go let him catch up on that. I'm here. I'm here. I got you. And like let him

catch up so that when I'm gone, like he can help you. And it's just like the way that you always

steps in. It's so amazing. And I know you're getting emotional at it because your mom is the same way. Yeah. And it's just so, especially when these moments when you really need your mom, and they show up, you're just like, oh, so blessed. I love you. So it's just, yeah, I admire that and her. And I hope I can be like that towards TJ and Vivian and their family someday too. That's her legacy that I want to pass on to my kids. It's sweet. Just like seeing how

much my mom is trying to figure out. And my parents are trying to figure out, like, financially how she can quit her job so that she can just be here and like take care of real, which is like the most, like, selfless thing to want to do that for us. And she's been here for three days. And it's just so sweet watching her just wide up. Yeah. It's the best. Yeah. And Laura's great too. Oh, yes. That's great. Yes. That's great. Yeah. Honey, sorry.

Not great. Honey. That's the best honey. She's, she's the best. Seriously. Yeah.

“Was there anything I knew that you wanted to share something that you went from your mom?”

I was trying to think of things. Well, you guys were talking. I was thinking, like, my parents and my mom really set me up for success financially and teaching us how to use our money, save our money, give our money, and that set us up for success. It's huge. It really has just instilling that from us, from a young age and unconditional love. I think that's like a normal thing. But I think she showed that very, very selflessly growing up.

And I knew that I could go to her about anything. I also think, you were mentioning this too. Not having that strict of rules. Yes, there were expectations. And I think that was the thing. Is there were expectations of me? But there weren't necessarily strict rules around me. And I think that, again, also set me up for success. Growing up, I know they expected me to be home by a certain time. Or they expected me to be a good kid and to fall do things. But they weren't like,

“you have to be at home by midnight or you're grounded. And these consequences and these things that”

happen, it's like, we expect you to be at home because that's what we tell you. And I always knew,

okay, that's why I'm with me. Right. And listening to them in those ways was really helpful.

And I kind of like, was have been thinking about obviously parenting all the time now with my kids. Coming from not super strict parents, it instilled confidence in me because in a way I felt like I was like, kind of setting the expectation for myself, even though underhandedly like they had laid this foundation of what was acceptable and what was not acceptable. But in my head it was still like, it wasn't as black and white. So I felt like I had the confidence in to like navigate things that

weren't black and white. And that relational aspect of parenting, whereas like if it's super strict and black and white, then you just don't want to approach your parents. Oh yeah, I would text them all the time and be like, hey, I'm kind of, I'm running a little late on curfew. I'll be home in 15 minutes or can I leave in 15 minutes instead of being home in 15 minutes? And they'd be like, yeah, sure. Like,

“it was just a communication and like a dress that I think my parents had to build in me. Like I didn't”

need to be home. No, and they wouldn't want that either. They wouldn't need to be safe and get home quickly. I think the other thing is the confidence building. And I don't know how they instilled that in me. I think that's something that I've realized is maybe different about me. This is so superficial. But I'm like, I don't really wear makeup that often, like really only when I'm going out somewhere. And I think when I don't really get my hair done, I don't get dressed during the day. Like,

I'm really confident in my natural self. And I think my mom just she never expected anything different

from me. And I think she always told me how beautiful I was just the way I was. And then not quitting. I would have quit dance that first time I was there. I wanted to quit it semester and she didn't let me and I dance the rest of my life. And so I think that's something to, but yeah, those are my quick things. Oh, that was a great. Your mom was also like, when I think about your mom, she's very like good with verbal affirmation. I feel like she is. And that is something we go back and forth with,

because I don't necessarily want it. You're very good. Like, you're a very kind person. But like,

“it's like your mom is so verbally affirming. And I was like, wow, that's she is. And I think that”

actually played a big role in who I am, especially, even though I didn't necessarily need it, but I did clearly, but I'm not a verbal affirmation person. I don't know what I am. I think I do like it, but sometimes I'm like, it's cheesy, but it's like, this morning, for Elle's crying, and I picked her up, she loves her mom. I mean, I'm like, of course, she loves mom, like, duh. She's like, oh, she's like, oh, she's like, yeah, she does. I'm so straightforward. Yeah,

I'm a lot like my dad, which is funny. And so my mom is very good with verbal affirmations and making sure she loves all of her children, no matter what. And I think that has shown me a lot. We've been through a lot as a family, and my mom has shown up for every single one of us, kids in so many ways that I think is so admirable, even though sometimes she's like, why did run on my kids? Want kids? Or only want to? She's for like, you guys only want two kids or no

kids? She's like, what did I do wrong? I'm like, nothing. You did great. Yeah. So, um, yeah, she was very good with the verbal. Well, I'm glad we got to shout out our moms. Yes, I also say, I'll watch a podcast. Yeah, well, a few guys are all crying. Yeah, we're all crying. We made this because we found out that all of our moms listen to this. So, they actually made us do it. No, it's not gonna make us do it. Ruth, hopped on our call and I said, let's make it

about the love. That's a little bit. Oh, that was great. Um, we also want to shout out some of your moms because we pulled you guys and asked some of the good lessons you learned from your mom and you came up with some really good ones to share. So, we're gonna shout out a couple of them. Mara said, her mom said, "Always shower before getting in bed." I second that. That's a great. That's a good one. That's a good one. I never understood morning showers. I didn't either.

That seemed a little crazy. Um, I don't know how to say her name, VV. We'll just say that. Her mom would say, "You are who you hang around with." And ain't that true. That is, that's a great one. It's so true. My mom always said, "This comes from a live.

If you don't ask, the answer is always no. Now I always ask." I love people that just

ask out of pocket things. Not like, you just go to a store and say, "Hey, can I have a discount on that?" I'm like, "I'm like, at least they asked." Yeah, I mean, like, I'm like, "I'm just so..." Oh, that makes me, and she, and then she said, "I love people that are like that."

“It was so important as well. Also, Lori will ask first.”

She asked, "My mom asked for things." And I'm like, "Oh my gosh." And then usually she gets it. I'm like, "I should just start asking for things." I'm like, "Mom, no, no, no, please don't." Please, just keep it simple. I just keep it simple. Samy said, "Jews oranges." Oh, sorry. "Jews oranges carrots in ginger together and drink to help with acne and make your skin glow." That sounds so good. I love ginger. "The oranges carrots in ginger." Okay. I mean, I don't

delicious. Yeah, if anything, it's healthy. Yeah, we love that.

Gracey says, "Always have a list and eat before you go grocery shopping." Save so much money.

Ellie said that that nothing good happens past 11 pm. My dad would always say that.

He's like, "Nothing good happens after midnight." I know. It is a little ominous. And then anytime it's past midnight, I'm like, "I gotta go home." Oh, my bad things are going to happen.

“It's like, "I gotta get home." Yeah, like, that's what it seems to do.”

It's like superstitious. Oh, things are going to-- I ruined it. I'm out past midnight. I feel like we ought to also shout out like, "I know that we have really put a lot of praise on our moms, but not everyone gets to have a good mom." That's unfortunate, but that's the case. I just want to encourage those of you that, if you're like, "Man, what am I to do?" I'm just out in the world alone. I don't have, or maybe your mom is not around anymore,

or there's particular life circumstances that just make your relationship with your mom a little bit more challenging or difficult or distant. And I just want to say that you have the power, I fully believe this, to change your family, down the future. I just have seen that even in my

own family, if you look generations back, the example wasn't always there, and this is something

that people had to intentionally do. My mom and my grandma's had to intentionally do to change that for our family. Things could be different for my relationship with my mom and my mom's relationship with her mom, so I just want to say that, you have the power to change that. Yes. And to start a new trend. Yes, yes, fully believe that. So encouraging and hopeful. Well,

“we come to the part where we're talking about always eating. What are we making for dinner?”

I found a new recipe this week. Actually, yeah, I'm linking it for you guys. It's a sheet pan meal. It's true. It doesn't love a good sheet pan meal, just no more dishes. I'm sick of it. Yeah. And this one is sheet pan yokey with Brussels sprouts and sausage. I'm going to say a couple of things. It feels like you put pasta on top of it at the end. This recipe is actually very big and I feel like you can swap a lot of things out. It feels

kind of fall like because I feel like I think about Brussels sprouts and butternut splashes in it. It feels like kind of fall like it's good any time of year. It's kind of has some interesting flavors. I swapped out the Italian sausage for chicken sausage. I love an apple chicken sausage. Yeah. You just chop it all up, throw it in the oven, and then you can top it with the recipe says barata. I just use those like fresh mozzarella pearls. And a little pesto? Yeah.

And everyone ate it. Yeah. Which was a win. I shouldn't say, I'm not sure how much my kids ate. But me and Matt loved it. And I made it for a friend. I really liked it.

“Every adult ate it. I don't know if your kids are eating Brussels sprouts. How are you doing that?”

Right, right, right. I mean, I could probably get them to eat one by game on candy afterwards. This week's first week ever that C.J. didn't get separate dinners made. He ate all of our meals this week. I know, he ate broccoli. My kid ate broccoli. He said, I like it. I know. Like we're turning a corner.

I know what's the best. That was like never mind to be this weekend when you're always

didn't want to eat his breakfast casserole. And then he took a bite. I like it. I like it. I like it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It took a while to take out for what I like. I know you like this food. I'm just gonna stick it out. Yes. So true, but my recipe is from ambitious kitchen. It's the mom's slow cooker beef stew. Her recipes are so good. I have not made a bad

ambitious kitchen recipe. All of our soups are amazing. And she, I once made an entire ambitious kitchen Thanksgiving. When we had COVID and Caleb and I didn't go home for Thanksgiving, I made all of her recipes. Wow. It was incredible. Everything was so good. So this is like, you make it in the slow cooker which is nice. You just see your beef throw it in there. And then it's just a flavor bomb of seasonings. It's red wine, boss

homic vinegar, herbs. It is so good. And it kind of gets thick at the end. You put in a little flour and peas at the end. And then let it kind of simmer. And it gets really thick and nice. And it's just, oh, it is a comfort meal in healthy and good and hardy. And it is everyone will love it. And slow cooker bonus. Yeah. Because they get in the morning. Yeah, people like go to work. You can just start it in the kitchen. Mm-hmm. So it's a hit at

every time. Ask, ask, ask, ask, Abby. Do you have a couple of voicemails? Yeah. Let's kick it off with a food related one. Ooh. Hi. I just had to recall because my toddler hung up on you guys. I just wanted to call and say that I took your advice on like keeping lunch time for toddlers and treating it more like just snacks and letting room just kind of snacks throughout the early afternoon. And I just want to say that it's been a

game changer. Like no more fighting with having some eat or naughty or my one-year-old throwing

that and that I've been like some of the best advice I've ever gotten. Thanks, love you guys. Oh, nice. He feels so good because actually when she said she followed my advice, I was like, oh, no, no, they Lizzy. Oh, no, Lizzy. I'm not going to go. Oh, man. Yeah, don't pinch to all those lunch. That's all the so funny here that's I'm glad it's working for you. Yeah, I can't go back anymore. Yeah, thanks for sharing to that. That was like you tried it and it was good. That's music to her ears.

Seriously. Hi Abby. This is Brooke and I was just wondering if you guys have any books that you've

“read that have really impacted the way that you parent. Thank you. The bubble. And then I honestly”

read any books. I feel like we could also add in like or if there's like influences you follow or different online content people do that would have. I honestly, when it comes to parenting stuff, I'm really careful about what I listen to online because there are so many opinions online and every kid is so different. So I feel like it's okay to take some little nuggets here and little nuggets there. But honestly, the same thing with me, I'm like it's just overwhelming. Sometimes to

intake everything and parenting is just not one of those things that's proven like this works in this doesn't because again, every kid's so different. I've honestly like I talk to a lot of people in my life. I talk to my mom. I talk to you guys. I have my mentor Kim. She's older and she has three kids that she's, I really respect the way that she's parent to your kids. And I just feel like I'm taking advice on the people in my life. I enjoy their children and like adult children too.

So that has almost been more beneficial to me than necessarily like books and stuff. There is one book. It's called Sheparding Your Child's Heart, which not everything in that book. I do or agree with,

“but there's one thing that really suck out to me and I think about a lot when it comes to discipline.”

It's that I don't always want to go for control. Like I don't want to go for control or just

behavior control. I want to try to get to the heart problems. So like what is the root of this behavior not just trying to like snuff out the behavior? And so I try to think about that a lot. Like if, you know, my oldest isn't listening very well. I'm like, why is need listening? Do I am am I getting upset because he's not I'm not able to like control him right now or am I just upset because this is actually like a bad character trait that I want to talk to him about in like

a minute about a direct direction? So I feel like those are the things that has like stuck out to me when I think about parenting stuff, but I don't know navigating it day by day. I totally agree. Yeah, like I think parenting advice is probably best done through relationship and possible. I know that in college, Matt and I need for our family together that we like adored their children and still do. And I remember just like picking her brain all the time like,

why do you do this or how do they do this? Like they're so young yet they speak like adults. Like, but they're so fun and bold and they take things on like I just remember just picking

her brain shout out Sarah down. He's obviously like she's amazing. And I still talk to her

sometimes. And so yes, obviously like looking for people that are like okay, their kids are pretty awesome kids. Like how did you do that? Like let's reverse engineer that. And then also if I did have to pick a book, I can't claim that I've read the entire book. I have not finished it.

“But a really popular book was Hunt Gather Parent and there's a line from it that like I think”

about a lot because it redirects me a lot in my day and its kids don't want to be distracted. They want to be included or kids don't need to be distracted. They need to be included. And so I think about that a lot, especially like when I'm like okay, I'm like cleaning something or cooking something and it'd be really easy to try to set them up with something and get them out of my hair. But there's so much to be learned from them like going through

those motions with me and like making a meal with me or you know like being a part of cleaning something up. And I see that teaches them a lot of independence too. Yeah. Hunt Gather Parent, I cannot claim to have read that entire book nor did I probably recommend the entire thing. Yeah, I didn't read all shepherd your child's heart. I think I read the first two chapters like that's stuck with me. I don't need anymore. Got it. Like get to the heart.

Hi, Abby. I love listening to you guys when I'm doing my mom chores. So thank you for making those a lot more fun. I would love to know how you guys named your kids and if there are any stories behind your kids names. Thank you. That's sweet. It's such an honor to be included in like your daily life like that. Like when I just hear about like your mom chores like that, so sweet. I know. Okay, so CJ, his name is Caleb John. Caleb is obviously my husband and then both grandpa's

are John. So that was really fun. And we had a really hard time thinking of a boy name and I just

came to me at NIS. I've just named him Caleb John and calm CJ because that's like the three most important

men in his life. So if we have another son, I have no idea what direction we'll go. And then videoing,

designer and I have a journal where my I was my design book and my designer name was a Vivi and Vincent

Nure. I have a whole page of logos and yeah, just so silly. But I just always love that name.

It's always stuck with me and yeah, I just always knew that's gonna be my daughter's name. For my kids, Griffin, I just liked that name. That's about the story. But his male name is Douglas, which is a family name, which we had lost my grandpa the year before he was born. And so they share the same middle name. Yeah. And then same with August. I actually, that was a name I love since childhood. I read the book Wonder when I was a kid.

Is that he gives a deformity? Yeah. Is he a movie about it? Yeah, there's a movie now. But it's been a book. It was a book for a while. Yeah, and he, his name was like, his name was Augie. And I was like, I love the name Augie. And I was like, well, I guess I can only use it if I have a boy born in August, which actually a lot of people renamed August. August, they're like, I would only name my son August if he wasn't born in August.

And I was like, through and so different. It was okay. And so I always said I was like,

if we ever have a boy born in August, then we got our name already. And then I was like, but what are the odds of that? And then his due date was the 15th. So I was like, it's not up and I was going to be born in August. And so I was excited about that. And then he is named after Matt's grandpa for their middle name. They share a middle name. August Jacob. Yeah. And so both of our kids have like significant family middle names, but then just

“names that we like for the first time. That's how we are too. Brielle, we knew we wanted to be”

name. We liked the double bees for Brielle as well. And we just liked the name Brielle. That's only like be name we liked the girl. So if we have another girl, we're going to have to find another be name we like. Yeah. But her middle name is Lee after Terry like grandpa. And then my mom's middle name is also Lee. So it kind of worked for both of us. Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that. Yeah, hers is spelled LEA. But yeah, you usually ask kind of spell it. Right. Right.

That's awesome. Thanks again to all of you that have called in and left voice males. It's probably my favorite part of filming as honestly. It's like such a sweet way to end up the episodes and a way to connect with you guys. And we just appreciate your engagement.

“If you also want to call the phone number is 6024569690. And I think it's always fun reading”

your guys reviews. So thank you guys so much for leaving those. If you guys want to leave review on all your episodes or all your podcast listening platforms, that would be so greatly appreciated. And this review is from Abby. Great name. I could simply not continue running while listening to your latest episode. I was on my own nine of my run and the part about your little guy tumbling down. Sorry. The part about your little guy tumbling down the slide and shooting

your son with the nerve gun came on. And when I said I was wheezing from laughter tears were in my eyes. I have a two and a half year old taller boy and just couldn't relate more. I love your show and the peer entertainment eight brings a breath of fresh air from the gossip all over the internet today. Thank you for joining me on my runs and helping me feel strong as a train from my half marathon next month six months postpartum. We should be friends. So we have so many things

to comment. Seriously. Thank you so much for leaving that review and glad we so nice. Entertainment

“you. Gosh thank you guys so much. Wow I think that wraps up today's episode. Yeah. Thank you”

guys for listening and remember we're always here.