Wanda Sykes Returns

Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend joined by my good friends, and I put that in quotation marks. Cool, I'm sorry, you're in place.

“Sonom of Session, good to see you sonom.”

Good to see you too, and you would be David Hoppin. I am, yeah, that's correct. Thanks for being here, David. Sitting in Format Goroly on paternity leave, and Sona, I'm told that you had kind of an exciting moment. Recently, you went to...

What, you went to Disneyland? Yes? Say, I have been to Disneyland so many times.

I've never seen anyone dressed up like Jepetto walking around.

Right. And you do this bit about my dad. Your dad has a big mustache, and he looks kind of... Normal mustache. It's a white-haired gentleman with a white mustache.

He always has reminded me a little bit of Jepetto, and I used to do a long riff about how he carved your brother. And, you know, we had some good times, meaning I was laughing, and you were staring at me. But I had a good time, and that's cool. You also got into like, "Oh, Danny, my real boy!" You're shortening it now.

Well, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy.

Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy.

Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy.

“You had this moment, you sent me this picture that blew my mind.”

Yeah, you went to Disneyland and told the tale. Tell the tale. Well, Japano is just walking around. I don't know.

And you've never seen a Japano before.

I've never seen a Japano walking around. They're not a character. There's goofy. Oh, there's goofy. Oh, there's Mickey.

Oh, there are some of the princesses from some of the newer movies. Yes. Iconic figures. Japano. I know is a tradesman.

(laughter) Japano is a woodworker. He's got a, you know, and so I've never seen a Japano. Had you seen Japano, Mike? I actually have a living there.

David, practically lives at Disneyland. You never seen Japano. You're walking and you run smack into Japano. Yes. And you know what do you have to do?

I like immediately. Shockingly, there was no line to go meet Japano. Oh, wow. No one wanted to hang out with the old Italian man who is a daylamerate. I like, on and they'll start walking around.

Moana's walking around. And then they have Japano. And no one knew about it. No one. He actually, when he walks into the park, they put him out when they want to get people out.

Yes. When it's time to close the park. They say release Japano. And he says, ah, make it the puppet. I make it the puppet.

And people just go streaming out of the park. Yeah, they do. And then, wow. We closed right at six. Close early.

Yeah. So I ran right up to him.

And I never had anyone do that.

Yeah. Was he curious as to why you were happy to see him? No. I think I was like, Japano. And nobody else was seeing that.

And then I went up to my night. I asked if I could take a picture. And I put my armor in, like, I interlocked my armor. So happy. And this picture.

I was so happy. And this is the worst thing that I did. And I sent it to you. And this is me hanging with my dad. Yeah.

At Disneyland. I was so delighted because it proved to me that my riff is actually a pretty good one. This is what your dad looks like to me. I'm telling you it does. It does.

This is what your dad looks like to me. That's what my dad looks like. He just doesn't have the glasses on the tip of his nose. Yeah.

“But I mean, that's what your dad looks like to me.”

And then also, I mean, because my eyes turn everyone into a cartoon character. Uh-huh. That's what your dad looks like to me. So we cut him out of this picture. But Mikey ran in with me.

Even though Mikey had absolutely no idea who this was. And probably he's right. Big fuzzy man. Yeah. Well, he just saw this, this big.

Right. Well, he's a him with Japano. Look at that guy. That's not something a kid goes. Yeah.

Yeah. How does this grandpa? Yeah. My God. I mean, you know, he's a guy who's probably being driven out of business.

Um, you know. Yeah. Because they're making puppets in shine and out that are much cheaper.

So Japano is a beleaguered figure.

“And the tariffs are making material really expensive.”

Totally fucking over Japano. But it was like, what did I do? And this isn't good. And then he goes to the store. There's tons of cheap puppets flooding the market.

They're from other countries, you know. Anyway, I hate. Uh, you hate what? Don't hate your father. No.

I love my dad. I love my dad. Why did you say you hate your father? I said, I hate it when I play into your bits. And, you know, as soon as I sent that text, I was like, why am I calling my dad

Japano? You kind of threw your dad under the butt. And I'm sorry to kill. Well, I win. Okay.

Because here's how I win. I got to see you link arms with Japano and call him your dad. And you feel badly about it. And so, and your son is scared. I win on every level.

Every single level. Well, congratulations. Yep. Oh, my God. And if anyone wants to see that picture, you can go to Team Coco Podcast on Instagram.

And it'll be, it'll be there for everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is, uh, that should be your Christmas card next door.

Yeah. Well, no boys. It's just me and Japano from Disneyland. All right. Well, very excited today.

Mm-hmm. Uh, my guess today is an Emmy award-winning comedian actor and writer who stars in the new movie, Undercard. She's an absolute legend. [music playing]

One to psychs. Welcome. [music playing] But even the universe didn't want me to make it here today. Because, uh, my card broke down as I was leaving when it wouldn't start.

So, the universe would say it don't do this. [laughter]

“Why are you going? Why are you going? Why are you going?”

Come on. Why are you like the radio came on? And music was jammed and it was like, "In this school, just sitting in your driveway, listen to some shot day?" Why are we leaving?

You know, your car has-- Then it's sun broke through the clouds. That was-- [laughter] It's like me. Wow.

Your car has a so-fast steam function. Wow. Do not lower yourself. [laughter] She would rather sing the car than be here.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I want to say you killed me a couple of weeks ago. I don't know when this comes out. But you were on the Golden Globes and you destroyed me.

You were so funny on the Golden Globes. Thank you. Uh, and you're just there and you're accepting an award for-- I believe it was Ricky Javez or-- Right.

I was presenting for best comedy special. Yes. And you said afterwards, Ricky won and you-- You had to accept on his behalf. Uh-huh.

And you said, uh, I accept on behalf of God and the trans community. Yeah. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

And-- Yeah. Did you ever hear from Ricky? I have not. Yeah. I have not heard from Ricky.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I was just fantastic. Uh, but you always are-- You're just--

Uh, but I will hope Ricky will got it. He got it. Yeah. I know him, but no one has worked. No, he's got it.

He had a good life. He'd been happy with that. Yeah.

Um, or not, we'll never know.

Um, but it's a real gift to just be able to always be yourself. When you get up, you're always one to like 100%. I mean, any time I've seen you in your career, your comedic voice is so sharp and so you and no one else can do that. And I'm thinking, when you were first getting up doing stand-up comedy,

um, did you have access to that? It took me a while to figure out how to be this Conan guy up there. Right. And I'm wondering what early you would have been like, because I know you were getting up there in the probably 80s,

67 around. Right, 87. Yeah.

“Um, I think we all start out, like, doing sign fill.”

You know what I'm saying? It's like observational comedy. And we, that's what I was doing. It was all about just writing jokes that I thought, Hey, didn't it funny when, you know, this happens or whatever, but it was never about me or, uh,

it like into my, uh, you know, persona. It was just what's on paper, the jokes. That's it. Yeah. Um, it was later, uh, in life, I guess when you get confidence,

and it also was when I, uh, was going through a divorce. That's when it was like, fuck it. Let's go, you know, then it was more me that came out. And I was like, oh, this, this is who I'm going to be. This is who I am.

And also, uh, it's, it's easier to just always be yourself.

You know, in a way you could say that I'm kind of lazy, really. I don't really, really, right? I'm not. That's the moral here. It really, I'm lazy. Just on it.

Yeah. Yeah. That's where really great stuff comes from. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I'm just, I'm just doing me. I'm just going to do me. But it is funny how I, I know me early on.

I was always echoing what I had grown up watching and what I loved.

And so there'd be times where I'm, I'm not me yet. I'm all the things that I really loved. And then it takes a while. All that stuff just gets shed and eventually it gets melted down and eventually you start to come out. But it's a process.

And that's where it just really helps to get time.

“Did, did you have your, like, comedy outfit, like your, your comedy uniform?”

Like, this is where, this, I have to have this because this is, I'm funny wearing this. Like, I, I, I wear hats.

I'll put a hand on, I thought, "This is funny. This is good." Because if I bomb, I can blame it on the hand.

Sure. It's not funny. So if you're about to go on and you think it's here. If you're about to go on and you couldn't find the funny hat, you'd be like, "I can't go out there." I can't go on. He Robinson cursed me out. I mean, he just ripped me apart because when I moved away from hand, then I needed a sweater. I needed a sweater. You know, not a cosby sweater. But people go, "Oh, that's a nice sweater." So Keith and I were filled with it. I was going to go to the funny bone and I didn't have my sweater.

Because we went to the movies and then I thought we would go back and get my sweater. They go to the club. He's like, "No, we're going to the wrecking club." "That's I can't go to the club, I don't have a sweater." And he's like, "What do you mean? I said, "I need my sweater." He's like, "You look fine." I said, "No, no, no. I got to get my comedy sweater." And what I said that he just ripped me apart. And he was like, "I'm not going back and he took me to the club and I had to go on without the sweater without the hat."

And I did okay. So that's when I was like, "Okay, I don't need these things."

“Thank you, where are you? I think my version of that was my hair. I think that the reason I was always...”

When I found out in my teams that my hair was kind of springy and I could have this big shelf hanging out over the front. And I started combing it up like that and kind of rockabilly and just... but also part game show host and... I think a lot of that was... Don't look at me, look at this. Do you know what I mean? It was my hat came with me, my comedy hat. And you know, you look at some of the early late night shows and there are ones where this thing is coming out like three feet. And it's going way up in the air.

And you're thinking, "People at home must have just been said, "What is wrong with him?" He looks like a fool. Yeah, your hair's in everybody's shot. Every time I turn around the guest, Mr. T would get hit in the face. It's just so funny how everybody... It's this self-hating thing which is very natural, but we don't think we're good enough. Especially when you're that when you're starting out and you think I have to...

I need all this extra stuff to be able to go up there. And then later on now I've been going to these different clubs to try out Oscar material. And I'll just... I don't even know what I'm wearing. I'm just wearing a t-shirt sometimes. I'm not fixing my... I'm not doing anything because it took me decades to say, "Okay, I'll just be me." But I mean, it took a long, long time. Yeah. Well, here's the other thing because I do the same thing. If I'm working out material, I'm working on my next special.

And I'm at the Brea Improv. I'm going to go just like this because I don't want the audience to have expectations. Like if I put on something nice and they're going to be like, "Oh, we can in the real show." But if I just come like, "No, I've got a note pen. I just walked off the street." That's why I'm doing this. I'm going to host the Oscars and let's slank it.

There. In the breaks, I just lie down.

You know, I never knew this. I mean, I was thinking about you yesterday and today.

That's scary.

“That makes me up there. That's why your car wouldn't start.”

That makes me very uncomfortable right now. Thinking about you. Where do you live? Where do you live? They say, "Hey, Juan is here out in the parking lot." Then you started thinking about me. I don't like it.

I don't know. I'm good about this stuff. But your dad was an army colonel. Yes. And so you grow up and mama banker.

So you grew up in strict family.

That's what I mean, that would be the cliche I guess. That they'd be strict people. I grew up in a strict family.

“My dad was like an academic and scientist and my mom's a lawyer.”

And strict in the sense that one of us going into comedy wasn't maybe their first choice. Beautiful, lovely people, but real good Catholics, church people. So I'm just curious if you had that experience. They were black people in the south.

There was always some type of structure.

They were strict. But we had fun. My dad was serious about his job. But when he got home, he'd take his uniform off. And he was dead.

And also my dad hustled, man. He had side jobs and everything. That's how I felt when I was bowling. I guess because he would when we can clean the lanes. Yeah.

So yeah. So it was strict from that. You know, looking on the outside, but yeah, inside it. You know, yeah. It was just like you said, hi, a lot of values, church.

All of that. So no, someone saying, hey, I'm going to go to comedy. Yeah.

“The question was, so what was that college I paid for?”

What was that about? Why don't we do that? Yeah. Yeah. That's not so.

My mother.

I talked to her yesterday.

So fun. And she said, you know, I don't understand. Like when you went in college, why, why did you just take like performing arts? Why didn't you go in? Oh, so now, you know, you put the back on me.

Like, I wasted. You know, it's still going back to college. Like, I wasted. What did you start? What did you start?

I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I was like, oh, no science. Yep. Marketing, that's me. That's it. And then you worked with the, for the NSA for a bit.

That's, that's, that's really fun. Yeah. And okay, here's my question. Because a lot of us before we get out in front of people and start trying to be funny, we have these jobs where you're kind of funny at work.

Were you funny at the NSA? I was funny at the NSA. I was funny at the NSA. I was funny at the NSA. I kill.

Think of these huge security breaches. Think of the terrorist they weren't caught because you were busy joking around. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're funny. You're funny at work.

“And did you have people around you saying, hey, you got to get up there?”

You got to go and do it. Yeah. I did. But you know, I was serious about the job. But it was, you know, we have a good time.

You know, but I also knew, it got to a point where I was like, this, I can't do this. This is not going to be my life, you know, because you would see, you know, the people who who was on their way out to that retirement thing. And like one dude, he would just, he would just look at the stocks. That's all, you know, all day.

And I was like, say, even America, aren't we staying? You know, it was like, I didn't know. Even America. That's right. So what was your big break?

You're doing comedy. And then you, you did a, was it a contest you entered or was it a, the course light? It was like super talent show case. Yeah. Radio station and DC sponsoring it.

And I was like, you know, I should let me write some jokes and go audition for this. So you're still at the NSA at this point. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so you, you go up, you do this.

You enter and how did it feel? Did it feel right right away? It did. Yeah. If it felt right, like, you know, oh, wow.

Okay.

These people, you know, you get that first laugh.

And it's like, oh, okay. This is, yeah. This works. Yeah. I didn't win, but I was really happy with the way it went.

And it felt like I belong here. And Andy Evans, he was the MC. And he was like, where, where did you come from? I haven't seen you in the comedy clubs or anything. I was like, yeah, I don't have a mental comedy club.

And she was like, okay, you know, he just became my mentor. So he would show me around comedy clubs and work with me on material and stuff. So yeah. And just everything just felt right. And then I know that you didn't bomb silly the next time.

Right. Right. Which is classic. Which is classic. People turn it.

It shares around.

And they were both into the floor.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I got to get it.

You can just get up and turn around. No, no, no, no, no. Fam, you could just leave. No. I got to make a real statement.

When do you, you start opening for Chris Rock. Is that right? Is that we be, you do it for a while.

“And then you, is that was that a bit of a level up view?”

Yeah. By that time, I left the NSA and was living in Jersey. I guess to be closer to New York. And I opened for Chris Rock when he was. He was about to bring the paint.

Yeah. Yeah. And that. Yeah. That was a big come up for me.

I guess because he remembered me when he got his talk show. Yeah. And that's rock show. Yeah. And asked me to submit.

And writing samples. Yeah. You were a writer on the Chris Rock show, which was great. And then you guys, when the Emmy, which is still very bitter for me. I'm sure.

I'm sure. We were nominated. And then Chris gets up and says, well, I think Conan should have got this. And I want to stand up and say, then, why can't I have it?

But, um, when Chris said that, we always shut up Chris.

Shut up Chris. But, um, but if, yeah, you don't, you can't be bitter. When the Chris Rock show wins, you just can't be. It was so great. And so I, uh, that must have won that wcp image of work.

You can't. That was slippery through your fingers. I was so close. But I stood up in the audience and I said, why? Why?

I don't think I said on camera. When will the white man get a break? Oh, no. Which was a mistake.

“Well, remember that? And then you were like, Conan.”

And I'm like, you're like, Conan, what is this? That was a bad idea. It's been thousands of years. When is it our turn? Oh, wow.

But anyway, um, you, uh, people are now looking. Did I really say that? No. Um, uh, what did you learn working in a writer's room? Yeah, I can make it look like it did.

Do it, do it, do it, do it.

Um, when did you, uh, because I always think, I don't know if you had the same experience,

but once I got into a writer's room, I felt like I had been fish that had been flopping around on the desert for the first, you know, 20, something years in my life. And then someone put me into a pond. That's what it felt like to me. Did you feel that way about being in a writer's room?

Um, you know what? I was the only, uh, female writer and the guys that I was with. They were so supportive. Um, so yeah, so I kind of just felt like I was at home. You know, they, um, actually, you know, was a really big help.

Because I would, I would write things and they were just like these long monologues. And, uh, Louis C. K. He was on the show and he, he looked at my, and my stuff. He was wanting to have a lot of jokes. So he knew me as, you know, from stand up.

He was, he said, set a right and he's long rants. He said, look at the news paper and just write a joke. To want on an article. That's, that's all. He said, this, this is what this is.

He says, and then, you know, if you got a sketch bit, do that. Okay. Great. And then every week, I was just getting jokes in it. You, you show up and you think, oh, it's kind of grateful Chris Rocks.

So I need to write this big long monologue. You know, think that it's just kind of a rant. Don't we jokes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I need to write like this thing that goes on for a couple of pages. Right. Right. Right. So, um, he, he, then once I got it, I'm like, okay. Um, you know, I can follow directions. I got it.

Yeah. What's a real discipline, too, because on Saturday night live that used to say, we do all our weird sketches in the week and then on Saturday, they would say, come in on the morning and write weekend update jokes. Yeah.

And just to supplement, you know, whatever herb sergeant and whoever was the update desk was doing at the time, um, as Dennis Miller, I think. And you'd sit there and you'd just be going through the news and you started, I started to learn right. This is, this is something I hadn't really done before, but I see the game. There's a game to this and you just got to try and figure it out.

But it was a great discipline.

“Um, and so you do that and then what happens after you're done with the Chris Rock Show?”

What was the next step? Steve Martin had a show, um, the Downer channel. Mm-hmm. And I had a meeting with him and I'm like, it's Steve Martin. I'm going to, I want to do it.

Yeah. And when he pitched me the idea of the show, I was like, oh, God, this is awful.

I might put a Steve Martin. So I was like, yes.

And we did the Downer channel, um, and then from there, I forgot what happened. I thought that. You were on level 15 years. [laughter] It's just here you were in a coma for a while.

I think I worked on, I think I worked on my, my hour.

“That's what it is. I, yeah, I was, I went back to stand up and I was working on my hour.”

And that's when I think tongue untied probably came out. Yeah. That process of getting an hour. I don't think people realize because now the way entertainment works. Mm-hmm. The minute someone has an hour, sometimes even before they really have an hour.

Before they have an hour when they have 20 minutes, they need to come out with their hour special. And the minute it comes out, people can say, that was great. Where's the next one? Right. And it used to be, if you think about the history of this whole thing, people would develop

Vaudeville, they develop their hour and do it for 40 years. Yes. And now it's, that was great. Yeah.

And so it's like a band that has their first album and it's everything they've been playing.

Mm-hmm. All those years and people like, that's fantastic. We need the next album in six months. Yep. Yeah.

And they're like, huh? I can't. So that's a huge achievement to get that first hour. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And I'm, you know, I take at least three years.

“I think three years is the shortest time that I've turned around and did another hour.”

I usually take at least four or five years. You know, it's tour with it. You got to, you know, when it's special. Yeah. So there's hours and then it's special.

And I remember I shot my first hour. The advice Chris Bragamy said, make sure it's special.

Don't go up there and do a set, do a special thing.

Okay. All right. Well, and then, you know, thinking about it. Okay. Now I, I get what he was saying.

Because you know, you can watch some stuff. Okay. That was an hour. Yeah. You legally met the requirement.

Yes. It's actually great job. It clocked in. Here is your certificate. Yeah. Yeah.

“You have had this really great career where I stand up your first love.”

And you're now. Until terrific. Great. But what are you talking about? What do I got here?

Oh, this. Oh. Oh. Look, present dip. Accepted.

This is a low point. This is a low point. That's back from this. People do the podcast. I can see them often texting their agent while I'm talking to them.

And it's usually what happened. Yeah. Or we need to talk. Time for a comeback. So everyone does their comeback special after the Conan podcast.

Okay. So about that day, so we're just stars. Curb your enthusiasm. Hmm. Obviously, you have such a strong undeniably unique comedic voice.

And I can tell, like, you with Larry is just, if someone long before you did it, if someone had just said, "Wanda and Larry," I'd have been like, "Oh, yeah." That has to happen. Is that how you felt when that came about?

I, you know, big fan of the show. Yeah. And I, I knew the one of the producers on the show. And she said, "We got to get you one there." I'm like, "Okay. I would love to."

I said, "Well, I can't audition." I said, "I'm horrible at, you know, in your audition process." I said, "And I don't, I'll just kill me if I'm, like, just not funny in front of Larry Dave." And I can't. So don't please don't put me through that.

I said, "I'm just going to be a fan of the show." She's like, "Okay." And she's like, "Hey, um, we're shooting around the corner, you know, from you." So why don't you come over to this car dealership because we're shooting here. And, um, and Larry just wants to say hi.

I say, "Oh, I'm, I get to meet him." She's like, "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." So I walk in, and there's Larry, and Larry goes, "Hey, Juan, I know that touch anywhere." I was like, "What the fuck did you just say?" And I said, "Why would you say that?"

And we were, and we just got into it. He goes, "You got the job." I'm like, "What?" But she tricked me. They said we were rolling. They said we were rolling.

Hey, by the way, we were rolling. What is so funny? That's hilarious, but also when you hang with Larry, you're in the show. He is that guy. And you can be with him just hanging out at a party

and he'll come in with a plate of food and you're talking to people and he'll be like, "Uh, don't you kind of hate it when people

You're doing a bit.

“You're doing a bit and he's like, "No, no, I'm just saying,”

"You're like, there's no camera here."

But it's delightful because you get to be, if you're in his life, you're on that show in some way. Okay. Yeah. That's how it feels like.

But yeah, you were just perfect. Yeah. I enjoyed it, but I don't like being around him now. (laughter) Honestly, I don't know what he does.

I saw it as great as he does. He likes making you feel uncomfortable. I like it, lunch. I'm walking in it and I see him coming and I'm like, "Oh, shit." I don't want to sit with him.

I don't want to eat with him. I just want to eat alone. I don't want to eat with him. I go sit on with the grips. I'm like, "I'm not."

(laughter) No. (laughter) We should make it clear. No one wants to hang out.

All right. Always alone. Okay. He's always alone. All right.

“I think he loves to be, he loves to be annoying.”

He just loves to. I mean, he loves that, hitting that frequency. He's so good at it. The best. (laughter)

The best at it.

I want to talk about your personal life for a second because I find it interesting.

I know you talked somewhere about how you thought coming out was important. It helped you get up in front of people and you felt like be more honest or before you had been holding back a little bit. Is that the case? Yeah.

Yeah. Before, you know, it's, I knew I, that I had this, you know, secret or whatever. And so I had to have somewhat of a, you know, protection of, and it's just sitting there and then the back of your brain, you know. So it's like, I don't want to push too much because somebody might yell out, you know,

you're a lesbian or hey, you're gay. Yeah. So it's like, okay, I don't, let me just, it arms distance, let me, you know, protect myself. But once I came out, it was like, when does down, you know, back, you know, let's, let's, let's go. So I just felt, I'll just liberate it that there was nothing that I had to hide.

Yeah. It's like you were carrying something, put it down. Yeah. Or it's like a version of the funny hat or the sweater. It's just like, no, no, this is me.

And yeah, there's nothing you can say now to, you know, that that would, you know, hurt

me or whatever. Yeah. People shout that at me a lot. You're a lesbian. You're lesbian.

It's usually just son-up. And it's usually son-up. Son-up follows me in the clubs. Well, maybe you shouldn't have gotten to tattoo. And I know I've met your wife.

She's French. Yes, she is. Is there a culture clash there because, uh, with the French, you know, just, like, your wife

“she's from this very different, what situation, how does it manifest itself in your relationship?”

Of, I mean, everything. I mean, even from, like, just, I mean, food alone. It's, you know, you, there's no snacking. So, yes, snacks. They don't do that.

I got to like, sneak. You're getting my snacks. You know, like, I would like go on the car and come to tattoo. And I'll come and ask you to say, is that, uh, I smell it. Is that cheese?

Is she smoking? I'm sorry. Is that, well, yeah. She does a smoke. Is that how I see her?

I see her. She has an invisible face cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. That is fantastic.

Yeah. It's, yeah. It's the three meals, but it's, they're great meals, you know? Um, because it comes with wine and champagne, you know, it's, and, just like, a little pre-meal, the fort, you know, pre-snack before the meal.

Maybe you can get that wine with your potato chips. Yeah, you have to get that. You have to get a cake with it. We've done that with your pancakes. It's like, time for that, you know.

And, and there's a little, like, some pistachios, maybe a little soft sausage on and some champagne. I said, oh, I can get that with this. This is, now we're talking, you know, and then you have your lunch. And then you get to do that again for dinner.

You get to have a little pre-game for the dinner. So they know a thing or two, and France about how to live. Yeah. It's, uh, that we haven't figured out. Right.

We were in Mexico, and she went to buy these bowls. And she was, you know, just, you know, going back and forth with the guy. She also speaks Spanish. So she was going back and forth with the guy. And, you know, the guy was like 700.

And she was like, uh, no, four. And the guy was like, all right, you know, four. So, and I heard that he asked her, uh, where she was from. She said, oh, Belle, Belle, Jim. Right.

So, like, oh, she said she's from Belle.

And I'm like, why'd you tell that man you're from Belle, Jim?

She said, well, I didn't want the French to look bad. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] Like, that's the kind of shit French people do. You know, that's exactly what French people want you.

[ Laughter ] You know, I'm not going to take responsibility for that. No. Now, you've got teenagers, twin teenagers. Do they think you're funny?

Will they give it up? Uh, my kids are very wary of giving it up for me. And I got it. They're like, uh, they're very happy to put me down. Um, and rightfully.

They do it. Yeah. They loved on it. Olivia was like, two years ago, two, yeah, mother's day. She gave me a pet rock.

[ Laughter ] I haven't heard of those.

“I think those were big and like, nineteen seventy-six.”

The pet rock. Yeah. And you could decorate it. And you could put like the googly eyes on it. And little crazy hair on it.

And she was like, in that great, I was like, you know, my mother would have thrown this at me. And I gave her a rock. [ Laughter ] I was like, you are a very blessed little girl right now.

Uh, but she thought it was funny. But, you know, to do that, uh, so it's that type of thing. Where they know what I do. And they know that people know me. So to them, they feel like it's their job.

Just that, um, just to bring it down a little bit. Yeah. Just chop it down a little bit. Yeah. So I, you know, I get it.

Um, they did come to a show. This summer, I did a little European tour. And they came to the show in Paris.

Uh, and they were the first to backstage.

And they were like, um, mom, that was so cool. That was great. Oh, great. Wow. You're just, you know, so they enjoyed the show.

Yeah. But mom and home. No. I'm not funny. Yeah.

Yeah. They don't give it up at all. Yeah. It's better that way. I think so too.

“Wouldn't it be creepy if they're like, we're just so funny.”

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So funny. Lucas went through a little phase when he was like, maybe 10. Um, because, you know, we're down the streets and some people, you know,

like, hey, Wanda, you know, why on the side?

What's up? And they would go, why are they? Why are people young? I said, I don't know. They just, you know, maybe that's somebody went to school with or whatever.

That would try to downplay it. Lucas went through this phase for like three months. Whenever I walked in the house, he would go, why on the side? [laughter]

[laughter] Get it up. Yeah. Yeah. Makes a noise.

That's how people do it. It's a wildest side. That would be creepy. Yeah. Yeah.

“Let's talk about the movie because this is,”

I was saying your stand-up is your, feels like that's your, lifeblood, but you're good actor. You are a very good actor. And this opportunity to do this film,

how did it come about? Undercard. To make a Miller, the director and co-writer of the script. She reached out to me.

And she's like, look, I have this project. It's for you. I wrote it with you and mine. I would love to sing you the materials.

I'm like, okay. All right. And I read the script and looked at the materials. I was like, oh. I said, this is good.

And so I, I call it. I said, so, um, Queen of Teeper said, no, right.

She's like, no, I'm telling you, this is, I've had you in mind for this. So I was like, you know, I,

I don't know if I can pull it off. I said, I've never done a drama. And she's like, I believe me.

I think, just trust me. You can do this. And, you know, we met and kind of like went through the script.

Um, Yeah. And I was like, okay. And, you know, she just has so much faith that I could do it.

I'm like, well, I'm going to prove her wrong. You know. Really? You had faith in me, huh?

Well, watch this. So you give it. You do a very good job. And your character, whose name is no mercy.

That's her nickname. Yeah. You have this world-wearingest that seems real. Like you're dealing with a lot. Your character is dealing with a lot.

And you're getting evicted. And you're going through some intense stuff. And you're going through intense stuff with your son.

Do you know what I mean?

“Which I think is that's another scary thing to do.”

Right.

But you did it really well.

And I don't know. What is it like for you to sit and watch yourself in this situation where you are so not going for laughs? Did that feel scary at all to you? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

I know, like, after a take, she would say, okay. And I was like, you sure. She's like, yeah, I got it. And I'm like, yeah, but what, you know,

is there something else that you need? She's like, wanted. I got it. Let's come on. Let's move on.

Yeah. But for me to go back and watch, I couldn't go watch the takes. I, you know, and I'm glad she didn't say you want to see it. Yeah. So I didn't see it until it was, until it was, you know,

complete it. And then my notes, a lot of my notes were more about, we would just, you know, the story, moving the story. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so interesting because you go along in a situation where you know when something's working because you hear this very specific sound. But then you're in a situation where that is not the goal anymore. I mean, in the limited experience I've had doing any kind of acting. It's been, well, where's the laugh?

You know, like, there isn't one. You moron. Yeah. Yeah. More on.

There's no, and, and you really need to shed all of that. Put it away because that is not the point of what we're doing anymore. Right. And it says nothing to do with that world.

And so that's always a new level of terror.

Because, you know, especially when you're trying these things and, you know, you're not, you're not 25. You know, like, okay, I've done some stand-up and now I'm going to try this. It's just a whole, you've been relying on a certain rhythm for a really long time and now it's this. It's, uh, I don't know.

I found it terrifying anytime I've had to be in that kind of situation, you know? Yeah. It is, um, but I knew I couldn't do it. You know, I was like, as I wanted, you cannot, I do the wink at the camera. You can't.

You can't.

“You can't, you know, you just, yeah, you, you have to lock in the only way.”

Yeah. This thing is going to work. And the crew, everyone who worked on that film, they were, you can see them, like, rooting for me. That's nice.

The cast, everyone. You know, at that first day, it was like, "Oh, this bitch can act." Okay. Come on, y'all, let's move faster. Hey, come on, come on, come on.

You know, she didn't move, she didn't move. Come on, everybody, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. They, I mean, every one, I mean, everyone just, like, oh, shit. All right. We might have something here.

Let's go. So are you interested in doing more?

That's, that's always the question you're beginning a lot is the acting,

the, you know, just, it's film acting, you know, doing this kind of... It's, it's going to be project my project based on that. You know, I'm not looking for another dramatic role. You know, I like making people laugh. I want to, yeah, it's comedy is my, that's, that's my, my love.

“So I, you know, that's what I'm looking for next.”

Wanda, congrats. You're getting great reviews. Undercard is in theaters now. And I want you to come back soon because I love talking to you. You're hilarious and you're also, I know you to be a really great person.

So it's always a delight to hang with you. Thank you, Connor. I hope now you're no longer indifferent. Well, you know, I love you, but you're busy. [laughter]

All right. Now, David, you very kindly last night drove me out to Kovina. Yeah. I am trying out some material. And I went to the chatterbox, which is a terrific comedy club that Laura Killmarton told me about out in Kovina. And so, you said, "Hey, I'll give you a lift, very kindly."

And you and I were driving, and I tried to play my tunes through your car. Yeah, you said you wanted to be the DJ. I wanted to be the DJ. I wanted to be the DJ, and you said, "Well, just use my phones." Because it's already hooked up.

Yeah. So I got a brief glimpse. It was a big, it's a regret of my life. I got a brief glimpse. You know, because I see all of my, you know, I have my DJ list.

Yeah. And it's all rockabilly songs and then the clash. And then, you know, it's just this, it's all this different stuff stuff from the 90s. But it's a, it's pretty fast rock. And, you know, sort of jet-fueled rock and roll, percussive.

And then, you said, "Just use my phone." And you'll hand me your phone. And I could see your Spotify.

And what did I see? The first thing I saw.

“First thing I hand them the phone, and I just hear, "Oh, my God."”

Oh, no.

What was the very first day?

It was a Hillary tough playlist. And then, I recently went to the pantages to see the notebook, the musical. So I was listening to the very first thing I saw was the notebook. And then, like, seven songs from the notebook. Yeah.

And then, great soundtrack. It is. I'm not aware. Okay. What's, what are the songs like?

Is notebook a song? No. Notebook. I feel you with my thoughts. You're a notebook.

Nixon was it cooked you were notebook. Okay. So what? It's based on the movie. It's not a musical about a notebook.

It's based on a movie that's an opportunity. It's a beautiful musical. It's like pictures. If you were when Ryan Reynolds were singing and that bit you did with him for the notebook. Ryan made out with Ryan Reynolds.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen. That was first thing I saw. Then there's a lot of Hillary Duff.

Yeah. Who I think is lovely. Yeah. Hillary Duff. Who does this?

Yeah. And then I started flipping through. You just had. Oh. Well, I'm going to see the back street boys next week.

So I had them on there, too. All right. I'm, you know, it was, it was fascinating. Quick glimpse into how we're different. That's all.

Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

Just a little bit. Just a little bit. And then I wasn't. I wasn't. I don't judge.

I'm not a judge. Oh, you're not. What are you talking to? I'm sorry. Let's take a poll.

Who thinks Conan is not a guy. Who judges? I don't see how we're different. I only see how we're the same. Who is this guy?

This is the guy I wish I was. Is it the guy that yeah? I don't know. It's not. I hate this guy.

No. Yeah. I was. How long?

“I mean, what else would I have found if we had gone through?”

Seriously. Let's talk about what else I would have found if I had kept scrolling. Oh, God. Well, are you what found some audio books?

I'm listening to one called Y'all Never Know.

I think it was that about. It's like a murder mystery kidnapping book. Okay. It's really good. Okay.

You would have found some like, you know, face any music that a. Like a karaoke world. Yeah. Some Sabrina Carpenter.

Yeah. So I get the most excited text from you the other night, because you got last minute tickets to go see Hillary. Yeah. Yeah.

And you lost your mind. I was. Which was very sweet. I liked that. There I say it was the greatest night of my life.

But you've seen me perform. Oh, okay. There I say it was the greatest night of my life. That's quite a dare. You just go.

And the same venue I've seen you perform at the will turn. Oh, it was it that she did a show at the will. Yeah. So you said you saw her and that it was transcendent. It was like the crowd was incredible.

She was amazing. She did it all the throwbacks and some new ones from the unreleased album. You guys are all excited for it. We should get her in here. I act like I could just summon her.

“No, I this isn't one of those things right.”

That's so sad. David just looks like I've arranged to have her here. David. Who do you think I am? Here aren't you like the Oprah of comedy?

No. I'm really not. It's so funny. You looked for a second. Oh, my God.

Well, David, guess what? We have a surprise for you. Oh, my God. I can have a publicist try to get her on the podcast. And she'll probably say no.

No. Love to have her here. But she was a big part of your growing up. Everything. Yeah.

All her music. What was the show she was on? Lizima Guire. Lizima Guire is supposed to bring it back. And then it doesn't happen.

We're all devastated. Mmm. Oh. The Lizima Guire movie. A classic.

Okay. You got to go. Okay. You got to go. Yeah.

How do you know, Agent Cody Bakes? How did you know that? I was a big investor. Oh, no. Okay.

All right. Put everything I had into it. Oh. Did okay. Yeah.

No. I don't even know why I know that. I just remembered her being in that movie. I'm traveling somewhere and it was on. Oh, I think I watched it.

It's one of those movies where I watched some of it over someone shoulder on a plane. Without sound. Oh, creepy. Oh, creepy. That's a weird thing to say.

What are they like in there? Everyone does that. To just watch everybody watches. You're in it. You're on a, you know, airplane flight.

And someone usually on the other aisle, like one or two rows up is watching a movie. And you're too lazy that being me. So like, I'm supposed to go find which movie I'm going to watch.

But I just start looking over someone shoulder and they're usually about a third of the way in.

And I just start watching it without sound and trying to figure out what's going on. No one else has done this here. I've done it. Eduardo, have you done it? I definitely.

Yeah. It's over, but I'm not like full on watching.

And, oh, okay, I see. Cody's got to get his way out of that volcano. Oh, look. There's Hillary Duff. She must be the love interest.

Yeah. I don't know. You just watch those things. I've watched many movies like that. It's also way better than what happened to you on a plane where someone was watching you.

And so you had that. I've had that experience where someone was watching a monologue of mine. I'm looking over and if the joke was good, they would turn and give me a thumbs up. I can't hear it because they've got their headphones on. Oh, God.

And they were watching my monologue. And I had, this is a bunch of years ago. And they were watching. It was when they had the, you know, it's TV. Yes.

So they're watching the show that was dropping right then that I had taped a few hours before. And this person kept, they would turn around. And I can just see me making stupid gestures and looking like a fool.

And then you can tell my rhythm and then I hit the punch line and the person turned to me on the first one and gave me a thumbs up.

And I'm like, oh, well, that's good. And then I saw them. I was trying to wrap my brain because just a few hours later. I was the second joke. Was the second joke any good?

And then I kind of had a bad feeling. And I, I can see I know my timing. And I see that I finished that joke and the person turns to me and did the. Eh. [laughter]

Just cheer.

“And I'm like, are we going to do this the whole flight?”

Good one, not so good one anyway. So I had that experience. But I really do like watching someone else's movie and trying to figure it out. My last flight. So I don't know what to get this.

I was watching a heated rivalry, but I like, I'm on a flight. So I like sat with my phone. Go with this. Like giving everything. Like it over you.

And you're basically watching, is it porn? It's not porn. Don't tell me. - It's hoping you'll wait from the show. - I'm not trying to--

- Tender and it's sweet, but it's all over the world.

- The first two episodes, especially those are like,

we're all fine. There's, but well, we talked about that. - Yeah, we talked about that. And I think everyone's so I'm about to eat it, rivalry now, they don't need any help from us anymore.

- Oh, okay. - We got them safely lunch, but you did it all. - When did I movey, you can comfortably watch, or show you can come to watch on an airplane. - Yeah.

Same thing happened to me with, I'm watching the show industry, which I love right now, and it's kind of all going fine. It's about finance, but sometimes there's some sex scenes, and there is a, all of a sudden a reveal where she's wearing a huge strap on.

And I, like, jumped forward and I see to block, but the people next to me saw what I was watching,

“and that's what they probably just thought.”

- You know, suspicions confirmed. - Yeah, but I'll creepo. - But I see it 70. It's way better than the time where, so the dark night rises had just come out,

and it was that time where it was on planes,

but you couldn't watch it anywhere else. It was out of the theaters, but wasn't on streaming. And I just really, I spent, I'm not kidding, probably an hour and a half just watching the bane scenes, 'cause it's just over and over.

And then I realized what I was doing, and I looked over, and the woman next to me was horrified. Like trying not to look at me, and I realized, oh yeah, I've just been watching bane for an hour and a half.

- Why are you just watching the bane scenes? - It's cool, man, it's cool. - We come on. - You were just finished and then just rewind to that. - Yeah, 'cause you're, yeah, you're just forwarded.

- I was moving into the dark. - What? - You just forwarded it to the scenes with Bane? - Yeah, those were cool scenes. Bane's cool, come on guys.

I'm not the only guy that thinks Bane's cool in here. - Not at all. - All right, well, I think we're out of time, the Rafflight is on. - And that link you're excited to hear.

- I love Rafflight. - The Kimma Rafflight, those cables in. - Okay, so, wow, I, to clearly do real that. - We got, I'm sorry. - No, I don't know.

- No, I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know.

- It really stopped us on plane. - When I rewatched, he did rivalry. I forwarded to the sex scene, like a normal person. But like, I just didn't know people forwarded it to like all Bane scenes in the dark night.

- And everybody, ble. (laughing) - All right, listen, I'm proud of everyone here. I don't even know why I said that. Oh, this is just a segment, right?

- Yeah. - Okay, so there's no fun thing at the end where I go, our next question, now you just say bye. - I so don't know what happens on this thing and it's okay.

“- Listen, you know what, you should be proud”

of your set list of music. - Thank you. - You know what I mean? - It's yours, it means something to you. It means nothing to me and I judge you for it negatively.

(laughing) - You're welcome for driving you to Covina. (laughing) - It's just literally a few streets away from my home. (laughing)

- He's out to you. (upbeat music) - Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Macquarlie. Produce by me, Macquarlie.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair

Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.

“Additional production support by Mars Melnick.”

Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britcon.

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