Ali Kolbert on stand-up and falling in love with single life

"Porn, eh, garney, like a star, it's my taste base." "You're all right, right?" "Yes, exactly."

“"Like a star, it's like a star, who just understands it.”

A girl at the studio, a job or a home at the end." "Cras, I don't feel like a star." "Stay and let it go." "Safe." "With like a star." "Mean fantasizes."

"Maybe imagines hitting the lotta, possibly finding that lover they've always dreamt of."

"Or perhaps carrying out a diabolical murder in the most brutal way imaginable." "Dr. Swartz was based down in a pool of blood." "A renowned scientist killed in a murderous frenzy." "A very gruesome and disturbing scene." "Person's of interest obsessed with role-playing and the occult."

And at the center of it all, a twisted leader called "The Lord of Chaos" and a killer hiding behind a mask of sanity. "We're here now. I can smell blood." From Sony Music Entertainment and Em William Phelps LLC, Fatal Fantasy, available now on the binge, search for Fatal Fantasy wherever you get your podcasts

to start listening today. Hey guys, I'm Carl Radke and welcome to More Life on today's show. We have an incredible guest, Ali Colbert. You might have seen her on Jimmy Fallon. She's a writer. She's a comedian. She's absolutely hilarious. She's been a friend. I've known her for a few years.

I'm so happy to have her on. She's coming in today. Live here at Soft Bar in Green Point Brooklyn. Hope you guys check it out. The way we're like seated and like this feels like Frost mix in. Like I feel like, and you have those fucking little cards.

This feels like a late night interrogation of Watergate. No, I mean, the body. I now realize that that is accurate, but that's not the point. Okay. Really happy to be here. We're where you meant to sit at.

We're gonna jump right into it. Ali Colbert, welcome to More Life. Yay! Thank you for being here. I'm so happy to be here.

She's already off to the hot start. She's an amazing comedian. She is someone that I've got actually known back in 2019. I feel like it was longer than that. 2018, 2019.

Okay. There's a mutual friend of ours, Hannah Burner, shout out to Hannah. So I'm just curious, just for our audience. How did you end up opening for Hannah? I mean, I have known Hannah forever.

I've known Hannah pre-Summer House days. When she was at matches, I was-- That's just, okay, that's fine. I remember when her and Paige got cast on the show. Because Hannah and I were doing sketches.

When she was at matches, which you-- I actually went into matches season two of Summer House. It was an interview with Hannah. Hannah interviewed me about Summer House. And she was working at matches at the time.

And she had a flamingo that looks like a beer ball. Okay. And we drank at the matches office. She interviewed us and ripped on Summer House the whole time. She was funny.

But it was like, we walked out there. I mean, like, damn, she hates us. And then a year later, she's on the show. Is that how she got on the show?

“I think there was a connection the matches office”

to our show because of Steven, Mickey, who had been on the seasons one and two, and worked at matches as well. Okay. So I think Steven kind of put a good word in about Hannah

and Paige, originally. Okay. And as I've told you though,

I've never seen Summer House.

Alley's never seen Summer House. We're not gonna hold it against her. I'd actually respect you more for that. I haven't seen it because I've met you guys. And Hannah, I'm very close with, and I was like,

I don't want to see what they're doing. I think they-- I don't know. But I don't believe anything I see on this show. They've killed it. So I'll just trust how I know you guys in real life.

So Hannah and I were doing these sketches then she-- when she left Summer House, she became a massive stand-up comedian like literally. She's like, our generation's Chelsea Handler. It's kind of insane.

And she's selling out huge fucking theaters. You were just a Carnegie Hall, right? We did Carnegie Hall. I-- She's one of my best friends. And I was like, oh, take me with you.

It's amazing to see the rise. I mean, I'm blown away by what they've accomplished. Radio City. Incredible. And she sold it out multiple times.

It's amazing. It's insane. But you get to open for her. Yeah. Which is a tremendous thing.

And since I got to know you, this is my recollection. We were at the Fuck Jerry offices. I remember that day. Around 2018 or 2019, Luke. Luke?

Yeah, because Hannah was there. You and myself, we recorded these kind of funny sketches. Yeah. I don't know if I was-- They're on Instagram.

Someday.

“And I remember thinking you were really funny.”

I just always thought you had, like, just your wit

and your very intelligent. And then I followed you. And since I've been a fan of your work. And so glad you're here. Because I think you're funny.

And I think you're great. But I do want to get to know you a little bit more. Yes, get to know me. I'm curious a little bit more about yourself. Just so you know, this podcast is called More Life.

Something I used to say, a lot drunkenly on TV, but it's still something I love. It's more of a mantra that I try to embody. Do you have a favorite phrase? Let's talk and then I'll come back to my place.

So we're going to have Alie come up for this. If I had to think of-- Because you're saying, I said this a lot drunkenly nine years ago. If I'm thinking about something I said drunkenly on a lot nine years ago, it probably is sure not OK.

That would probably be the phrase. Like I was probably like, no, I'm just one kiss. That could have been what I was rocking with. But I'm trying to think of a phrase. You know what my dad says a lot?

My dad says suck the marrow, which I guess is his way of just being like, just fucking get as like, take it for all its worth and joy. Suck the marrow with bone marrow? Yeah, I don't know why he says that.

This is your physician? No, he's like a retired insurance guy. But like suck the marrow. What does he even mean? Let's call him it.

Yeah, it's the marrow. Just like take advantage of life and just get every squeeze, every drop of it. Yeah, he's like suck the marrow.

“It's kind of gross now that I think about it.”

I'm sure you're not gonna say that. I suck the marrow. Yeah, it's gross. I'm gonna keep thinking. I mean, I would have to imagine being a comedian is similar

to some of the reality TV based on what you truthfully share, or more what you're talking about. I'm sure you're talking about personal things. I mean, I know you are. How truthful do you like to be in your comedy?

Would you say? It took a good question.

When I first started doing stand-up,

I was not telling-- When did you first-- The truth on stage. The first time I ever did stand-up, I was 17. And it was my first year at NYU.

And I remember because I, I like, did it like welcome week. I was like really excited to get to NYU. When I went up at an open-mic at Carolines on Broadway, which is since close, and at that point in time, I was closeted and lying to myself

about being in love with my best friend. And so going on stage, you can't really tell the truth because I'm lying in my personal life. Ooh, okay. So I was like, even if you watch my first tonight show set,

I think I mentioned dating a guy, but I had a girlfriend at the time. That was not-- it was all a mess. Sure. And I remember even when I came out in my personal life,

I still wasn't out in my act. And now, thankfully, my life and my act are teet-up. They're lying. Like, I'm living-- And then my stand-up is much better because of that.

Because that honest--

But the first eight years, you're watching me do stand-up.

I'm like, not the first eight. Well, how does that feel?

“Like, not maybe being as honest or like that internal debate?”

I mean, is that hard? It's not just about being hard on stage. I was so depressed about being gay forever until I wasn't. Like, it just-- it took me lexapro and telling my parents that I was bisexual over like, brunch in Belize.

And I was crying. That's such an important thing. I was crying and they were like, it's fine. They were like, it over. Like, it's fine.

They're nice, liberal parents who love me was me. I was like, oh, hey, gang people. That was terrible. Oh, man. And then finally, I dated this girl for years.

And then I was like, OK, I'm kind of like-- The cat's out of the bag. Yeah, yeah. So did you go to NYU to say, because you wanted to explore the comedy world?

Did you know that in the back of your mind? Yes, I did. I was like, I wanted to-- Did you look at any other colleges or schools? Yeah, I did look at other schools.

But I wanted to go to NYU. I wanted to be like Sarah Silverman. She had went to NYU and dropped out. I wanted to go to NYU and drop out. But like, she and that special Jesus' magic

“were so meaningful, I think, to a lot of--”

It's a great special. I'm a big Sarah fan. And Sarah's straight. Is she? Yes.

I'm a huge fan of Sarah. So the connections that you're bringing up are-- I love that you kind of try to model how she kind of jumped in. Oh, I was just inspired by that. So you were 17 stepping on a stage?

Do you remember any of your first jokes?

Yeah. Were they all bad or any of these someone's-- No, Anne. Anyone that you've used at 17 that have now come back? I actually wrote one joke in the first few--

in the first year of doing standup that I did on the tonight show because when you do late night sets, there have to be so clean. And then very quickly, I found filth. But the joke was my dog was diagnosed with diabetes.

And I was like, what are we going to do? I guess we have to put him down. But my grandpa's diabetes wouldn't put him down. So I said it better. I said it better.

But that was, you know, I love it. It was almost like I was doing more of a character and like a different thing when I was on stage in the earlier days. Now, I feel more comfortable going on stage

and just like, it can be nice. I actually feel more of my cell phone stage. I love that. Well, getting into like before you were at NYU and before you're doing the comedy thing,

I would imagine you've drawn on some of your personal experiences from your childhood or just where you grew up. But I like to ask this question of our guests. What's the most trouble you've ever been in? Whether it's childhood, whether it's in the last 15 years?

If you've been arrested, have you ever... You mean trouble with the law? That or have you been fired from a company, did you? No, I know. I'm getting up to a different kind of trouble.

I'm not coming up against corporate handcuffs. My trouble is all interpersonal trouble. Draw my I've created with women, self-hate. That's enough trouble. I don't need to be fired from a job.

I hate myself. (laughs) You know what I mean?

“No, I think that's important to talk about”

because I think some people, it can be a variety of troubles. And all of our trouble could... It's still, I think, on the same scale. Like, my trouble may be a little bit different than yours, but just your perspective and what you've been through.

You know, it's like when you go to the hospital, and they say, on a scale of one to ten, what's your pain? It's like, I'm only ranking my pain from pain I've had. If I imagine ten as being burned alive,

I'm always gonna be a four.

Three. Two, I'm not even close. But it's like, every this is all relative. You know what I mean? So my trouble is...

Yeah, you really struggle for me. But your trouble is very valid. Yes. Very valid. So I just want to make sure we clear that up.

Yeah, yeah. I guess like when you were 17, you're doing the comedy thing, you're closeted and trying to figure out yourself and understand where you're going with your life.

And I'm sure you remember when you were 17 and closeted. Still 17. (laughs) Was there ever a moment in your life where you thought, okay, like something needs to change?

Like when did you have that kind of realization where you're like, I can't live like, closet it or putting out this front in my comedy that I'm a shrink person? I remember my, I don't know when.

Maybe my sophomore year at NYU, I was in crying in the Whole Foods in Union Square. I've also cried in the Whole Foods in Union Square. You have? Because I got kicked out of it

for trying to sell a lover boy to the store manager.

You see, you're always bumping up against like,

the administration's holding you down. Yes, exactly. Interesting. You should talk about that. Okay, so you're crying.

I was crying in a Whole Foods and I called my mom. And I was like, I'm like, I'm hysterical.

“And she was like, you need to go on like, so bro.”

And I was like, okay, fine, I'll do it. I was like so afraid of antidepressants. And how does that experience spend? Because we've had some guests on who've been very open about their experience.

I personally am not on antidepressants. However, I've been presented the option. I just don't want to be in pills because I used to abuse them, but they're not like that. Of course.

But it's something I've been looking at and exploring, but I'm curious, like, how is your Alexa Pro journey been? Oh, so I had every human being fantasizes. Maybe imagines hitting the lotter,

possibly finding that lover they've always dreamt of.

Or perhaps carrying out a diabolical murder in the most brutal way imaginable. Dr. Swartz was based down in a pool of blood. A renowned scientist killed in a murderous frenzy. A very gruesome and disturbing scene.

Persons of interest obsessed with role-playing and the occult, and at the center of it all, a twisted leader called the Lord of Chaos, and a killer hiding behind a mask of sanity. We're here now.

I can smell blood. From Sony Music Entertainment and M. William Phelps L. L. C.

“Fatal Fantasy, available now on the bench,”

search for Fatal Fantasy, wherever you get your podcasts to start listening today. This feeling of like, I'm not going to be on pills. I'm not going to do drugs. I'm going to do it, I'm going to just take a minute.

Is that how you did it in the-- No, but it's like this is what people say where they're like, I'm not touching that stuff. And it's like, it's really not thing. I mean, it's not nothing.

It changed my life. But it's not like an addictive thing where I'm like, where's my soul of the soul of the pill? I was just sad. And I started thinking, like, slow.

And it felt like a storm cloud moved. And I was finally like, oh. By the way, it's not that I'm not upset ever. I'm upset all the time. I'm just more like, I less want to kill myself over it.

And would you say, like, was that an immediate reaction or feeling that you had when you started to-- Oh, my God. It's just like the cloud moved. Within a few weeks, I was like, oh, my God.

This is so much better. I remember I went to work one day. And I was, I was interning at Louie. And Louie the time? No, CK.

Oh, yes, God. I was interning at the TV show Louie the sky. But time. He's confused. I was interning at Louie CK.

And I walked into the place. So I sat down and I was like, huh, I'm not upset. I was like, it's okay. I don't want to be here, but it's fine. It's amazing.

And I'm like, so yeah, I was on like the sofa forever. And then I switched to Zolaf, shout out big Z loves, Zolaf. So Lexa Pro is not as good as Zolaf. My mother's on Zolaf, she loves Zolaf. And I saw her last night, and she said, hi.

[LAUGHTER] Flexa Pro is good. Lexa Pro was great until I--

You know, I need to move on to Zolaf.

Just so our listeners can understand it. What was that just, if you can share-- Yeah.

“--getting Lexa Pro, like, did you go to a psychologist?”

Did you go to your family? Back, Ali. Yeah, they'll give you 30 days worth. I just kept going, he's got him poncho. But I went to the NYU psychiatrist.

OK, good. I was going to say, usually university services. I went to Syracuse's student-- That's right, you did. --student thing to actually

to get prescribed at her all-in-com. --the new house school. Correct. Because the girl I liked growing up went to Newhouse. Really?

So I would visit all the time. And I'd be very good friends with the tri-deltas. I love tri-deltas. Add a look, try it out. I don't know if I'm going to get through this,

because it's so funny. I love you're just so funny. That's what they say. So what did you write out to us? But you went to your university psychologist service--

Yes. --least talk about that process. Yes, I talked to the therapist about it.

“I was still actually, I think, not being honest about being gay,”

because I was like, it wasn't like I was like-- I'm going to fool another one. I was like more just like so much self. It's just like a feedback loop with myself, where I was like, maybe I'm not.

Let me find-- I got to find the right guy. And I was just like, what are you doing? But then I got one on the left, Cepro. And then I had sex with a woman, and then I was like, I had a little bit of sex with a woman.

So you went on the anti-depressants or SSRIs, and then did you kind of unlock that strength to come out? It wasn't as like-- So you came-- I liked the narrative you're shaping.

That's the thumb-gay 'cause the left Cepro. No, you came out because you had the-- It wasn't as cleanly cut as that, but I-- And I'm like Cepro. And then I think I dated guys.

And I was like this sucks. And then I years later, I met a woman-- like, so it wasn't linear path. It wasn't as linear, but it was just-- I honestly was just like, my 20s of where you were--

I don't know, you're getting kicked out of stores, and God knows what you were doing. I was doing that. No, I love it. Well, I think mental health, comedy, addiction,

some of my favorite comedians certainly draw upon childhood or addiction experiences. I'm a big fan. I mean, John Alain, he's been very open about. Some of his ups and downs recently, which I relate to,

just the alcohol and cocaine story. Well, I relate to the addicts' stuff on him, because I feel that way about women. Can you elaborate a little more? I feel that I'm addictive around certain women.

Like, even, like, love-- Like, you become obsessed with women. Obsessed sounds like I'm stalking them. I'm more so feel like the addicty sensation of, like, high from certain--

from certain dynamics of women. Sure. Like, it's interesting. A lot of my friends are sex and love addicts. OK.

And I appreciate your honesty for that. I think that's a topic that people are open about alcohol or drugs, but the sex addiction or porn addiction-- Well, they overlap a lot.

But it's hard to admit it. With the other addictions. And I'm-- this is fresh on my mind, because I just read all the way to the river, which is Elizabeth Gilbert's new book, which I don't know if you know.

But Elizabeth Gilbert wrote this book, Eat Pray Love. Yes.

And it's basically she was lost, and then she was found.

And then after that, behind the scenes, leaves the husband, comes out as gay, and realizes she's a sex and love addict. And that's the second book. So it's like really crazy.

And sex and love addicts are also using the big book. So it's really all the same language of addiction. And I feel like comedy is like a tool that a lot of addicts use. Yeah.

Is it like a place that gets an healing from or-- It just feels like relief, which is such an addicty language. And sometimes laughing at some of the challenges or difficult things in your past or in your life, there's like healing around that. I joke around a lot about my past alcohol or cocaine problem,

because it feels easier to laugh versus be angry about it. Oh, well, that's been a huge healing thing for me around growing up. I would find these moments that I was filled with so much shame. And I would dare myself to say them on stage.

And then they would get a huge laugh. Like there's this joke I do, where I talk about how-- I don't really do it anymore, but growing up, my friends would be like, oh my god, like you guys, like a group of girls, like you will be bridesmaids

and I went in one day. And I wanted them to be my bride. And I started doing that on stage. It sounds different of it. But then that was hitting.

And I was like, oh, I don't have to-- if I'm like, if I own something, I was like, something wrong with having been having felt that or being whatever your story is around shame or should not like talking about it is a really cool way

of like disarming. So that uncomfortable thing you were maybe like a phrase to share actually was the thing that hit the most. Totally. Because at the time, I was like, if anyone found this out,

they'd think you're sick, you're terrible. You're disgusting, awful. And then 10 years later, I say it on stage

and people are like, that's amazing, it's so funny.

“That's so important, because I think my next question”

was kind of how if you experienced the intersection of mental health and addiction with comedy. And I think inserting your own personal perspective, but also just behavior, like you're getting some healing or something internally out of it.

or-- - Yeah, I mean, no, the laughter feels good. Obviously, I have a problem. Obviously, if you think about stand-up, it's so sick that I know these things get a laugh. So I'm gonna go say them to a random group of people

so that they can be like, oh, like, that's so psycho.

So yes, the laugh always feels good.

Obviously, I'm chasing the laugh. I can't get through a conversation with you without trying to make you laugh. Like, they're something wrong with me, 100%. But the more powerful part of stand-up is probably

just saying the thing in a room full of people. And that is very funny. There's something powerful in just that entire experience. - Yeah, you're like, I was honest about something, it felt liberating, and people took,

like, if there was ever something scary about it, it's not anymore. - Well, like, what would you say

“that the idea that you have to be depressed or anxious”

or come from an addiction background to actually be funny? - No, it's not true. It's so not true. - Do you appreciate comedy more where it's coming from that authentic place

or are people almost play like a character of it? - I mean, I can, I don't connect with comedians where they're, or I don't feel that there's deep unhappiness underneath, or like pain. Not even that they're actively unhappy,

but like, if you've not, if you don't have like, that like body of trauma or hurt, like, I don't, it's harder for me to get on board. Like, I, I just identify more with, that's why, like, don't, I don't know,

some like white dude comics, I'm kind of like, yeah, I'm like, what's going on? That's so whatever. - Yeah, like, what's so hard in his life, why, like, where is he drawing it?

- Like a stunning white guy, and like, I also have this argument, you can't be a good-looking, white male comedian. - Well, it's like, Malayne, you can because he's like, not okay.

- Yeah, he's like, really messed up, and like, in like the best ways, and it's like, there's a guy Matt Wright, who's like a pretty decent-looking guy, some girl like that. - I know, Matt Wright, I open for him, I'm like-- - Some girlfriends are like,

he's hot, but he's so funny.

“I'm like, I feel like that's the first time”

you see like the intersection of comedy with like a more of attractive white male. - And look what it's, look what he's killing. - Look at his career. - So more hot white guys should do comedy.

That's what we need. - What would you say the role comedy plays in your dating life, and/or family life? - Dating life. - I mean, are you the same version we see on stage

as you see off? - No, no, that's just like a moment. - Yeah. - My mom does not think I'm funny. - Like, interpersonal. - I think that's funny though.

- I'm like, she's still, she's like, I don't get that. - Do you draw any of your characteristics from your mother at all in your comedy? Like is there elements of her personality that you embody?

- The neurosis of, but that's just, it's not-- - That's a gift. - That's not intentionally embodying it. My mom gave me neurosis and anxiety. - Do you have any of this? - And also good hair.

- So great her. - So great her. - But thank you, but when I hang out with my mom,

she's just like, she's always getting offended by me.

Or she's just already heard all your stuff. - No, no, it's not that. She's just offended, doesn't like it, doesn't care. My dad, on the other hand,

“he like can see that it's, my dad is fun”

and my mom is unintentionally funny. But it's my sister's that I really like. - So do you get your comedic chops from your dad or your mom, would you say it? - I mean, my mother.

- Your mother. - She's so funny without meaning to me. Just in the way she complains in the way she's like, she's like, she's like, has these like manusha that she picks apart, like layer,

but she doesn't even know she's doing it. - She is funny. - And I love women that are like that. There are people in general that are just funny unintentionally. - Yeah. - But like, but I should say. - They're just your characters.

- My father, my grandfather's first cousin, great grandfather's first cousin, is a very famous comedian George Burns. - Yes. - So I might have some of my blood.

- That's his side, I have to throw it out. - No, it's genetic, it's Jewish. - Jewish, there you go. Shout out to George Burns. - Shout out to George Burns.

- Let's get to dating. I've seen some of your honesty and videos online about dating. - What is your dating advice?

First straight guy like me.

I feel like you have some pretty hot takes. And I'm willing to take it. - Well, what's going on with you dating right now? - I've been single, I was engaged two years ago. - Yeah, I was engaged show.

Oh, that's right. - Yeah, so three months before the wedding, I told her it wasn't right. - Sorry. - It really wasn't.

And since then, I will say, the proof is in like how things evolved after. - Yeah. - And she moved on and had a lot of happiness and she had a child.

- I'm remembering. - That's really good. - I've moved on, I've opened this business. I've been doing a lot of great things. Over the last year, I've been dating a little bit,

but it's been harder for me because I'm so focused on this and just finding, I'm trying not to chase. I'm trying to attract. - Yeah, what do you mean, women?

- I've been trying to meet women through just the communities I've part of, which is running or fitness, even some of like the sports world here at soft bar, the sober community.

- A sober dating brutal. - It's tough. - The sober hooking up is even weirder. - That is just an answer. - That's something I've, as of your opinion,

I'm almost five years sober now. - Mazel. - Thank you. And even when I'm like interested in someone like overcoming that little awkwardness.

- But you know what I've found? So I don't drink that much. But when I'm around my friends where alcoholics I step it up when I drink. - But you don't want to see this person.

And I was going out for a minute with this girl who is sober a while ago, but we went out a few times. And I remember because she was sober, I was like, well, I'll date sober.

I'm not going to be fucked up on this weird. - Yeah. - And I ended up feeling like it enhanced like everything, it enhanced the whole experience. Like I felt like the static and like the chemistry

and like it was just so much more present and intense. - Yes.

- And of course because of that I never saw her again,

but no, but it was fun. Like some of that was really fun. It was like the good stuff. - Yeah, like as you're really present, your body's feeling everything.

- Yeah, it was really good. - It can be a little overwhelming. - Yeah. - But it's there, like for me, like I do, you know, I've been on a TV show now for 10 years.

I'm very lucky with the exposure. I do meet a lot of people. But sometimes meeting someone that, I don't know, isn't thirsty for some of the world I'm in and/or understanding of the world I come from.

It's like a double-edged sword. Like I've met women that are-- - It's really bad. - It's kind of anti-reality TV and that's totally understandable than I've met women that are like all about it.

And it's like, oh, it's like too much. - Yeah, and no, it's, you don't want to date someone who's only like, that's the issue with all of the exposure and social media. It's like, you don't want to date someone

who's like consumed a bunch of, you're like, stuff, and like, no stuff. I mean, it's not so different than just going on Google and see it, but they get to experience you in a way where you're like, you know too much.

- You know too much, and they already think they know you. And I add another element of the show, which people really feel like they know you. And there's a beautiful thing.

“- You have to date someone who hasn't seen someone else.”

- Well, I've been talking to someone that hasn't necessarily, like, isn't a big watcher of all that stuff, which is kind of like attractive. - Of course.

And also you can really earn it then. - Yes. - 'Cause you don't want to date someone who's just like dying to fuck someone on some house, which is also, like, really sad.

- And sadly, there's, you know, there's DMs, and I'm curious, like, do you get people coming to your shows and like, hey, I thought you were great last night? - Sure, yeah. - How do you handle that?

- Well, it's like a nude beach.

It's never who you want to see naked.

(laughs) - That is the best thing we've heard. - It's just not. The people are, it's just not. - So true.

I never do that, really. I mean, no. - Everyone's gone. - I don't. Here's my addiction, that I have spent a year,

not being in a relationship. I date women that are confused about their sexuality. - So you're like the, like, the whisperer. - Sure, or I'm just like the idiot. - Do you like projects?

- No, it's not even that other projects. - It's more like I want a woman that's like, who's not sure of stuff, but sure, like chooses me. And it does a lot for my ego. - So that would be my, like, addictive loop.

- Yep. - That, like, I have to not. I have to date someone who knows that they're bisexual, knows that they're lesbian, like, is actualized in that way. But I end up magnetizing, you know, this other group of women.

- I appreciate the honestly. - Which is really fun, but it's like a shitty drug, and then you kind of crash out.

“- Yeah, so like, I mean, you've, are you single currently?”

- I've been single for 13 months. - Oh wow, 'cause I remember I didn't want, maybe bring it up if you weren't. - Bring up anything you want. - Yeah, I remember I've been following along,

I think about your relationship, and then I think I saw it. Now, have you been dating at all recently? - You saw that relationship. - Yes.

- Yeah, I think that's bad when I talk about it on podcasts, which I don't know if you've met a comedian. It makes me want to talk about it more and more. - Yes.

- Makes me want to never stop talking about it,

I'll never stop. - You have a safe space here. - Oh, it's just like, I'm not going to stop. I just can't stand this thing. - Well, many people that people who knock up relationships

do or they go, well, why are you telling people? It's like, if you do me, you don't want me to write bad songs about you, don't do bad things to me. - Well said, did you heal properly? Are you still taking time to heal or?

- This has been the best year of my life. - After a breakup, do you think taking time is important, or do you think jumping in? Like, what's your? - I've never taken time before.

This is my first year taking time, and it was the best year of my life. - Do you hear that? Take some time, heal. Don't bring a whole bag of shit into the next thing.

- No, but now, I'm like, oh my God, I can't imagine being in a relationship. My whole 20s, it was backed back, world wars. And I just kept doing it, two and a half, two and a half, for you, like I was just like jumping into the next one.

- Yeah, and then now I'm like, I don't know, I'm really hitting a sweet spot, and now it's making me like almost disinterested in dating.

“- I think it's powerful because you really,”

you have a lot of confidence and strength in your own self. Like, can you hang out by yourself comfortably? - Yeah, I won't, I don't. - Well, I can't hang out with anyone. - When you go from being in a self.

- In more intense relationship, like you kind of have to adjust to like, obviously just being by yourself more. - I didn't even realize like how much work I was doing, like energy expense of just being in relationship.

I didn't realize how amazing it could be to be alone. - Wow, I love that. - Yeah. - Is dating harder or easier when you're funny for a living? - Literally, I can't imagine how hard it would be

if I wasn't funny. Maybe I would have, well, I would probably swap. If I wasn't funny, I would probably have a higher paying job, so I'd be rich, so I would just get grown up.

- So, but I have to tell you, humor is like,

that is the best thing ever. - Humor is one of the best things. - I'm like, women really fall for humor. - Thank you. - I mean, if you could be funny, you don't need to be tall,

you don't need to be rich, you don't need it, you could be, you don't even need a house, you just be funny, you can close with a 12. - And you got, I mean, - You just need swag.

- You got swag. - Yes, you, well, you have like, - I got swag in a credit card, let's go. - But you're intelligent, you have like a balance, like you're not like, you're not chaotic.

- But because stupid people aren't funny intentionally. - Sure.

“Was there someone, did you first remember saying to you”

that you were funny and that you were like, like their acknowledgement of your humor meant everything to you? Does anybody in particular over the years that was like, hey, you're actually really funny?

- Oh, that's interesting. I don't know specifically, but I remember like, when I was little, my dad thinking I was funny and he would have me go up to people in restaurants and like he would whisper something into my ear

and he'd be a go say it. I remember I would go, like, we'd be in a diner and there'd be like a group of old women having breakfast and my dad would have me go over and I'd be like, seven and I'd be like,

can I take one of you ladies to prom? (laughing) And I remember that feeling. - So adorable. - Of like, the heat in my stomach and like,

- Yep. - My face when they, and I just, that, - Did you get a whole table of laughs of imagine? - People were freaking out because he would have me say like stuff like that.

Exactly like that. Like most like harmless adorable when I came here. - No, it's a shout out to the ladies at the diner. - Yeah, how are you doing, how are you doing? You've beautifully young things.

Like just like, - So good. I mean listen, it seems like you've been through a lot of stuff just as far as your comedy career coming out and just like finding your own voice, your own confidence.

Is there something like you've done to stay grounded and protect your mental health? Like, do you go to a therapist? - Oh my god, I have been in therapy my whole life. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - I started therapy when I was in seventh grade because I kept having panics about how like the world is gonna end one day. I was like, I don't get it.

How long is forever?

“And my mom's like, you should see a doctor.”

- Is it very important question? - So I went to therapy and then I was in therapy in high school, took a break, found that and why you college therapists shout out. - When you were like, let's say seventh or eighth grade

in high school, were you telling your close friends like I'm going to therapy or were you open about that? - No, I don't think I was telling. That, I can't even remember any thoughts I had at that time. - No, seventh grade, telling my father,

I'll have to do therapy tonight. Maybe it's different in like 2025, but when did you go to therapy? - Well, I guess what I'm doing. - What I'm getting at is I used to go to therapy

in age fifth and sixth grade. - And were you telling people? - Hell no. - Yeah, no, that wasn't thing that happened. - But the reason I wasn't is

'cause I would have been made fun of. - Yeah. - You're crazy, you know, you're screwed up. - Yeah. - It's kind of the impetus that you would get, or I thought, from telling someone you were in therapy,

but now over time I'm like, no, it's almost like a badge of honor, I think. - Yeah, I would imagine it's a bit different now. - Things have evolved. - Yeah, society was not like,

- But you're still actively going to therapy, you love it. - No, I took a break from therapy six months ago because I've been in therapy for so long and I was like, I'm gonna just try taking the, just, let me bowl without the gutters

for like, or whatever this was, it's called bumpers. - For like five seconds. - Like, and I've been, good, I still see a psychiatrist every couple months for, because I'm on the loft. - Is there any other things you do for just yourself

that isn't comedy, isn't maybe the dating? Like, what does Ali do just for her own sanity?

- First of all, I always try and hit 10,000 steps.

- Hell yeah. - I'm obsessed with walking. - Do you have routes in the city that you like? - I just like the area where I live, redacted, redacted, and especially when it's nice out.

- Yeah.

“- And that's what I really love about New York”

is like, if you spend the day just like walking around and I see my friends as much as possible, it's just like the best. Like, I love my friends and that's something that I never truly like appreciated to the extent

that I think I could have until I was single. - Wow. - So you have like a real strong friend group? - Yeah. - Where would you say you, are they comedians?

Are they friends from home? - No, they're like not comedians. - Not comedians. They all do different sort of passion projects for work. - Who's your favorite comedian?

You said Sarah Silverman, is that you're? - Sarah Silverman was like the most meaningful and important comedian of my like-- - Have you met Sarah? - I've met her a bunch.

She's always meeting me the first time.

I'm meeting her like second, third, fourth, fifth time, but she every time is the first time. - Yeah. - But that's because it's so special. - But I adore her.

- I've sadly been that way with a few people in the brothels. - She's so, I don't expect to remember. I love actually one of Sarah's best friends, Todd Barry. I think it's like so funny.

He was similarly impactful for me. Like his way on stage is incredible. And there's this other comedian, Jessica Kerson, who is just, she can make you to your school streamed on your face.

- Powerful. - Oh my God. And is just getting her kind of moment in the last few years

Amy Schumer opened for her. She's, I don't know how old she is, but it's like, it's her time. - Yeah. - And you've been doing, well how long would you say

you've actually been doing stand-up comedy now? - I don't know. - Longer? - No, not, I mean, actually doing stand-up. That's so weird.

I mean, yeah, probably 10 years.

“- Did you ever think you'd make it 10 years doing this?”

Or you thought you'd be going?

- Yeah, I never thought I would not.

- You had never thought you would not. - No. - There are other things in your career outside of doing just straight stand-up. I could see you being on like scripted or film.

- Thanks Carl. - Have you entertained or looked at any of that? - Yeah, I have a bunch of different projects that I'm in the hellscape of developing, but as anyone knows, takes so long

and it's a million different things, but you do all the stuff behind the scenes and one day, one of them pops. - One day, so for the rest of this winter, where are you gonna be on tour?

Are you gonna be still with Hannah? - Yeah, I'm gonna be with Hannah starting the end of January, but I'll be in a live, mostly a live January and February, and then we'll leave from there 'cause we're doing like all the West Coast spot.

- So how does the tour like work? Like are you with the group of comedians? Is it just you on your own? - No, it's just me and Hannah. - Wow.

- We spent a lot of time together. - I love it. - And we get there, we do a show. - Do you ever help Hannah write any jokes? - Uh, or do you guys, I guess my question is,

have you ever given Hannah a joke or is Hannah ever given you something that you've used? - We make ourselves laugh the whole time. - Yeah. - Because we're listening to each other's acts every night.

So if she comes off, I'll be like, oh, if you say after that, she's like, oh yeah, it's a great idea.

“And I come off, she's like, you need to talk about,”

so, and then the whole day we're just laughing. And like, we'll do sessions where we're like, we're writing stuff and coming up with stuff 'cause that's what you do before, shut up. - Is there ever time you've been about to go on stage

and you're just like, fuck, I'm scared, I'm nervous. Any ever hesitation at all? - I mean, every time I go on stage, I'm like, I have a feeling of like, why do you do this? But then I'm also like, of course you do this.

But like, even last night, I performed actually right next door. Rule of thirds? - Yes, love the rule of thirds. - And I was like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

What do you do this? And I even got on stage and I was like, why do I do this? And no, I'm really laughed. But I think I'm scared. I'm more nervous, I should say.

Like, more butterfly jittery. - Sure. - If someone I know is there and I want them to like me, or if it's like a really important, it's like a film, otherwise you're gonna get it.

- It's okay. The audience, like I would imagine, Hannah's crowds and your crowds on tour. - That's like, it's almost less. - It's almost harder in a smaller room,

but you said that. - Yeah, because it's more confronting in a smaller room, you maybe are talking to the people you can hear everything. In these big rooms, it feels different. You're not talking to the crowd, like it's less,

it's more of like a-- - Well, actually, I'm glad you're about to talk in the crowd, which is something I wanted to bring out.

Because I feel like you do incredible crowdwork.

- Oh, thank you. - Can you talk to me about what that feels like when you're in the moment? You've got to, you know, you're set in mind. You probably have 10, 15 minutes harder long,

you're gonna be up, but then someone is derailing you with laughing too loud or saying something weird. How do you navigate the crowds and I've seen you rip and roast? - Thanks. - Very effectively.

- You know, I used to, when I first started doing crowdwork, I was too mean, and I remember I would lose the audience, 'cause it wasn't funny, it was just mean. - Just mean. - And now I've kind of found like a sweet spot.

- A little bit of a sweet spot with certain things. Is there like anything you can share with our, is like self-deprecation, like ripping on yourself? - That really helps, but like other times, I'll have moments where like, you know,

I really am like, I don't know what to do with them. And I find just kind of saying what you think is just the answer. - Have you ever had any of the hecklers or any awkward things after the show? If they come up, I'm like, hey, I'm sorry, I like.

- No, if anything like I've had people come up to me and be like, come up to me, be like, you like really destroyed me at a show years ago and like, can I hug you? - Okay, like, like it.

Like it, because I'm such an unimposing figure. I'm like a American girl doll. I'm like a conty American girl doll. Do you know what I mean? So like, - I actually bought my niece

an American girl doll a couple years ago. They're awesome. - They're awesome. - But I would buy the conty, newly. - Exactly.

You might feel different if I was like a big scary dude. - Sure. - But that's a part of the way I'm able to sell it.

“- But I think that's what makes also your humor”

so interesting is, you know, just like what you're looking at is like this sweet, in my opinion, sweet, cute, well put together girl. But then you have like these, she's kind of crass, got it a little bit of an head.

- Right. - And then she's got like a little bit of a ripy distress. - Right, I think that's the appeal. - But I think that's what gives you so much interest in dynamic of what you do.

- Sometimes I think about that one. I think about my height because I'm tiny and five two. And I think about how if I was like,

I'm like, 'cause I always want to be taller.

I'm like, 'God, can't you be five six?' It's some sort of such a good number. But I'm like, if I was like five, seven with this personality, people would be like, "Yeah, I'd be like too much." Like what are you doing, five, seven acting like this?

I'm more like a pocket-dike, do you know what I mean?

- I've learned a lot today. - Yeah. - And then the best way. - Okay, good. - I'm loving this.

I think you're so funny. - Oh, thank you. - Just to kind of wrap things up. - Yep. - We're talking summary.

- Well, I remember I asked you at the beginning. - President Nixon, where are you at the Watergate Hotel? - Is this conversation being recorded? We asked about your, you know, kind of mantra and saying, and you gave me some suck the marrow, you sure you're not gay?

- You know, I'll give you another one. I'll give you another one. - There's got to be another aliism that we could--

- It's not an aliism, but it's something I always think about

and I'm gonna be earnest because I can feel that even though you like my humor, you're very earnest and ultimately you are, a soft boy. So, I watch the Steve Jobs commencement speech years ago. It's my favorite commencement speech of all time.

And he says something in the speech that I always quote. And he talks about how you can only connect the dots retrospectively.

“Meaning, you have to believe in something.”

You have to believe in fate, destiny, astrology, the stars, your dreams, whatever it is because when you look back, of course it all makes sense. It was what you were just saying about your relationship and then looking back and seeing the paths.

And I think that is the philosophy to live by. - I love that. - And also more life. - More life. - Well said, Alie Colbert, you're a credible guest. Where can our friends and watchers

where can they catch you socially or next year's coming up? - I'm at Alie Colbert, ALI Colbert with a K on everything. Please follow me because if you don't follow me, I feel sick.

- Are we to see you on late night coming up at all this spring?

- Hopefully, 2022. - Hell yeah. - You've done Fallen, you've done Fallen. - I've done Fallen, I've done different things. - Was there one that you really want to get on that you haven't been on yet? - I mean, I would.

- Would you ever have dreams to be on an SNL? - Of course. - Have you ever auditioned? - Of course. - You, everyone has dreams of being on SNL.

- I even want to be on SNL. - Yeah, it's the most fun. I was at the show this past weekend.

“It is the most electric, cool thing in the world.”

- It's such a great. I got to know Punky Johnson, who was a former cast. - Hopefully. - She'd make like shrimp and cages. - Yeah, I don't remember that.

I'm like a stove top. - Yes, but I got to know her through a mutual friend. And she invited me in, and I saw the whole operation. It's so cool to see. - It's so cool.

- But I didn't make it to the after party till. I went to the after party till four, and I Stephen Spielberg and Paul Rudd walked in, and they looked at me really weird, and I'm like, "I gotta go."

- Yeah. - But that whole world, I'm like fascinated. I can see you in that world, for sure. - Oh. - Now, do you write a lot, too?

- I mean, for stand up. - Would you write scripted or film? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's a whole other country. - That's a whole world.

- We're winding down. - I know. I just want to make sure we plug that. - No, I do. I do.

But you guys are gonna, you'll see. - Well, I'll see. - You have no idea. - You've had so much good stuff.

“Your honesty is just incredible, but also, I think you're so funny.”

Keep going, good luck with it, your career. - Thank you. - It's been awesome to watch you rise. - Right back, I, yeah. - Thank you.

And for everybody who wants to check out more life, you can follow, like, subscribe, also follow Ali. Like, subscribe to all of her stuff. She's an amazing guest. Thank you guys for being here today on MoreLife.

Cheers. (upbeat music) - Thank you to Ali Colbert.

She's an incredible guest.

I just, I'm laughing still. I'm so touched and just warmed by everything. She's shared, but really, she opens up about anti-depressants. It wasn't a linear path, but she gave me some advice

about not being afraid of pills and anti-depressants, 'cause that's something I've certainly been afraid of and my sobriety. So, thank you to Ali. Thank you for hanging with me today on MoreLife.

Cheers. (upbeat music) - MoreLife is produced by any seagull and executive produced by Adam Reynolds of Denham Pictures.

This episode was directed by any seagull, edited by Mikey Ortiz, and recorded at soft bar studios in Brooklyn, New York. MoreLife is a production of Sony Music Entertainment. From Sony R executive producers,

our Chris Skinner and Joanna Clay, original music by function atoms. Set the Zion by Michael Ignacio, publicity by Caitlin Healy, additional support from Abby Sharp.

Special thanks to Allison Shano and Joanna Orland. New episodes drop every Tuesday. We'll see you next time.