Savage Lovecast
Dan Savage
Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to [email protected], or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
Recent Episodes
20 episodesSavage Lovecast Episode 1008
When does subbing morph into self-harm? The relationship between a man and his much younger trans woman lover involves intense physical abuse. The girl has a wretched history, and engages in self harm. Although she gives consent, there's also a language barrier that makes everything they do seem out of control and destructive. A bisexual woman took the plunge and came out to her conservative Catholic mother. Although her mother didn't completely melt down, she has a ways to go before she reaches acceptance. What will it take to move her mother into the light? Our guest this week is Intimacy Coordinator Yehuda Duenyas. He and Dan talk about what an Intimacy Coordinator does, and whether they should be required on a movie set. How a director's prompt can sometimes be as vague as "They Have Sex" and it's up to the IC to flesh out how that should look to the audience. How portraying scenes of abuse can be wrenching for sensitive male actors. And of course, Dan has Yehuda answer a couple of sex questions too. A little of this conversation is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. Finally, is it possible for a man to both come and pee at the same time...in his girlfriend's mouth? Sadly, this is not a theoretical question. Ask Dan ANY kind of question. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, media darling and creator of the It Gets Better Project. A tireless advocate for ethical conduct within relationships, queer rights, and sexual freedom with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
After Action Report #18
They designed, engineered and built their own fuck box. Dan's question: "So did you upholster it?" Hear all about it, how it fit into the sex party and whether they enjoyed it or not. Do YOU have a perverted tale to tell? Write it up and send it in to [email protected].
Savage Love Episode 1007
A 60 year old woman wonders where she can score some poppers. A lesbian would like to score a queer dominatrix to work her over. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Rich Juzwiak of Slate's love and sex advice column, "How to Do It." They talk about how to make anal sex pleasurable when your partner is very, very, (some might even say "too") well endowed. How too many sex partners can be dangerous. And they discuss age gap relationships: are we are in an age of peak daddy? And, a woman's boyfriend complains that his wiener slips out during sex because she is "too wet." [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is sponsored by Sundays for Dogs- Dog food using the same ingredients and care you’d use to cook for yourself and your family. Go to sundaysfordogs.com/SAVAGE50 and get 50% off your first order. Or, you can use code SAVAGE50 at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
After Action Report #17
A woman wanted to try out her dollification kink. So, she and her butch girlfriend went to a lesbian sex party. You may be wondering what do they do to dolls at lesbian sex parties. Listen, and find out. Did you have a wild night recently? Write us at [email protected]. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
Savage Love Episode 1006
A concerned listener asks "Where's the lube?"-specifically about movie scenes showing gay sex. A woman in a red state makes it clear in her dating profiles that she is a leftie. She attracts men who claim to be moderate, but are really stealth MAGA creeps. Why do they do this? Why?! Our Magnum guest is the effervescent internationally renowned human sexuality professor, author, and speaker Dr. Nicole McNichols. In her very popular Diversity of Sexuality class, she gets tied up and whipped as part of a lecture on communication and consent. So. She and Dan talk about the difference between bad sex and traumatic sex. They also dig into the data on why young people are having less sex these days. And, hear the sad tale of a man who was dumped by both his wife AND his goddess. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Mill, odorless, effortless, fully automated food recycler. Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at Mill.com/Savage and use code Savage at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, beard-hater and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
After Action Report #16
Right after her ketamine infusion, she ran home as fast as should could. And then her boyfriend got busy... Have YOU ever seen the face of a lynx in the sky? Didn't think so. Have a sordid, sexy, weird, funny or freaky tale to tell? We are listening... Write it up and send it in to [email protected] This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
Savage Lovecast Episode 1005
You poor, poor people. For Valentine's Day this year, we're going dark and airing some of your most unpleasant break-up stories. Like the woman who learned her husband was cheating on her when she saw the tattoo he got of the other woman's initials on his leg. That sort of thing. You'll hear a few of these stories on the Micro and more on the Magnum. Meanwhile, a married man sneezes uncontrollably after he comes. Why?! Make it stop! A woman begs every man, everywhere to shave his beard. Our Magnum guest is the delightful Adam Zmith- author of Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers Queer Futures. He has recommendations for popper brands and...flavors. Anybody up for some pumpkin spice poppers? And, how soon is too soon to ask your boyfriend to get a vasectomy? [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Beducated brings pleasure-based sex education right to your bedroom. Kick off your best sex life with Beducated’s awesome, five-minute quiz at https://beducate.me/pd2607-savage.
After Action Report #15
Some might consider Daniel a very lucky man. He brought one of his 4 girlfriends to a sex party where the men wore tuxedos and the women wore...nothing at all. Oh, and it was a Christmas party. Hear all about it. If you did something totally bonkers and want to tell the wide world about it, write it up and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
Sex & Politics #42
Dan interviews, argues and politely spars with gay evangelical Christian Matthew Vines, author of "God and the Gay Christian." Vines, who is married to his husband since 2022, was a potent advocate for gay marriage. Now he and Dan have a debate about the role of monogamy in gay life and society in general. They both take the gloves off, and somehow remain friends at the end of this long conversation. We are releasing about 20 minutes of it on the Micro version, and the whole thing is on the Magnum, available by subscription at Savage.Love. Check out Matthews book God and the Gay Christian, and his talk on monogamy at The Reformation Project's 2025 Reconcile & Reform Conference.
Savage Love Episode 1004
Yip! Yap! Bite! A woman's little, nasty, needy dogs are anything but "comfort animals" and her girlfriend isn't having it. She refuses to move in with the caller while those tiny beasts are around. Are they fundamentally incompatible? A British woman learned that her husband had sexual experiences with other boys at his British boarding school. She never knew this and finds it shocking. Dan brings on the sexiest survivor of boarding schools that we know- porn star John Thomas. Let John's amazing voice take you on a journey examining situational homosexuality at British boarding schools. And on the Magnum, a man with blood cancer has an enlarged spleen. He's worried that anal sex might cause him harm. Dan brings on anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein to talk about risks, and how sex toys can rearrange your guts...safely. And a woman who is learning about gay intimacy for the first time through "Heated Rivalry" wonders if homo sex goes as fast as it does on the tee-vee. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
After Action Report #14
A swinging couple found a service that would fulfill their fantasy: a gang bang composed of men she chose. You may never think of gang bangs the same way again. Did you do something amazing? Tell us! Tell us! [email protected] This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
Savage Love Episode 1003
Have we reached peak poly drama? A queer woman has been open with her male live-in partner, having lots of great sex with him and others. The problem? His cat won't pay any attention to her. She doesn't feel jealous of the humans in their lives, but this cat! A widowed 81 year-old woman has taken up with her 56 year-old gardener. But he went and confessed to his priest who told him to cut it out. Should she try to convince him to keep loving her up? On the Magnum, enter Eric Williams, comedian and host of That’s A Gay Ass Podcast. Dan torments his very homosexual guest by asking him to answer a question about cunnilingus. Also discussed: What made them gay? And here's a PSA: Please leave the actors of Heated Rivalry alone. And, ethical dilemma ahoy! A divorced woman with kids is enjoying her Cumspringa- hooking up with lots of men and having a great time. She makes up personae for herself, withholding her real name, her job, or that she has kids. Her friend thinks this is immoral and that she should come clean about who she is to her lovers. What do you think? What do you think Dan will say? What Dan says...may shock you. [email protected]. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Mill, odorless, effortless, fully automated food recycler. Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at Mill.com/Savage and use code Savage at checkout. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
After Action Report #13
Louis, a self proclaimed cuddle-slut, found exactly what he wanted at the Liquid Love event. Hear ALL about it. If you have a SENSUAL tale to tell, scribble it down and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
Savage Lovecast Episode 1002
What is the polite way to ask someone to clean their teeth and deal with their neglected oral hygiene? A man's girlfriend wants him to ignore her sexually, and focus exclusively on himself. But he wants to give her pleasure. How can they reconcile this? On the Magnum, have humans always been kinky? If the history of the Middle Ages is any indication, the answer has to be "Oh hell yeah!" Or so says our guest: Eleanor Janega- a medieval historian specializing in gender and sexuality, apocalypticism, and propaganda. Accounts of religious life from that period are riddled with perversion. So people have been freaky for a long, long time. Dan and Dr. Janega have a cheerful conversation about it. A gay man wonders if he should be miffed when some other dude gives his boyfriend a sexy thong. NOT. OKAY. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, baker and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
After Action Report #12
A cautionary tale from Jennie who went to the sex club with an open mind and ended up with bruises on…well you’ll have to listen to find out what went wrong. We want to hear your story! The good, the bad, the ecstatic and the unpleasant. Write about your weird time, and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report. We’re listening.
Lovecast Extra: Sex and...Television?
Welcome to the first ever Sex and...Television! For those of you who are obsessed with the Canadian homo hockey romance Heated Rivalry, here's a convo for you. Dan and sex therapist Claire Perelman dish, discuss and swoon over the super-horny show. Enjoy!
Savage Lovecast Episode 1001
Happy New Year, and a very happy Feast of the Ass to you and yours. In honor of the holiday, our first caller asks if he should keep a cup of mouthwash handy for when he moves from ass-eating to pussy-eating. A man wants strategies on how to talk his sister out of circumcising her newborn son. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Ellen Huet, a plucky, investigative journalist who uncovered an exploitative sex cult that revolves around female orgasm. Her book EMPIRE OF ORGASM about OneTaste, a sexual wellness company is amazing, and she and Dan had a LOT to talk about. And, a poly woman wonders if when making introductions, she should reveal the poly status of two friends, so they know they are all “in the lifestyle.” [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to Beducated.com and use the code SAVAGE for 50% a yearly pass. This episode is brought to you by Bubs Naturals: Collagen peptides for joint health & mobility, healthy hair skin and nails, and gym recovery. Right now, to get 20% off, go BubsNaturals.com and use code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From ethical non-monogamy to unethical non-monogamy, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it. :)
After Action Report #11
Christine and her husband went to a kinky viking party (as one does,) and had a very HOT time. "How attached are you to these nipple hairs?" If you have an amazing or appalling story to share, DO NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Write it up and send it in to [email protected] with the subject line: After Action Report. Maybe we'll get back to you!
Savage Lovecast Episode 1000
It's the 1000th episode of the Savage Lovecast. We started in 2006, when George W. Bush was President. And look at us now! We packed this show with as many quick questions as we could. (One minute or less.) And Dan answered as quickly as he could. And! We invited long time friends of the show to pop on and answer some questions as well: Ezra Klein, Esther Perel, Mistress Matisse, Mike Pesca, Therapy Jeff, Doc Barak, Joan Price, Dan's Producer Nancy, and Dan's husband Terry. The gang's all here! You'll get an inside look at how the show is made, and how Dan has evolved over these many years. Some of the questions asked and answered: What is up with "Yahtzee?" Does "pegging" come from pirates? Does blood make for good lube? Who listens to all the calls that come in? Do you get a weird feeling when you dig in your bellybutton? Happy New Year and thanks for listening everyone! Your resolution? Get on the show. [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. Have we mentioned that we've been doing this for 20 years?
After Action Report #10
Her needs were simple. She wanted to wear a trench coat with nothing underneath and to pretend to be a high-end escort for her boyfriend. He gladly obliged and their session was full of surprises.... If you have a dirty little story you would like to share of your first time doing something unspeakably hot, writer it up and send it in to [email protected] with subject line: After Action Report. Fill our inbox.