Rachel Harris

That's music for your ears.

Videos on the rest of the vendors, with Shopify, can be to a real help. Start to then test not only on your promo account, but on Shopify.de/record. I had a conundrum this morning because I needed to take a shower and there was a worker coming over to our house that was going to be passing by the bathroom, and we have barn doors on our bathroom doors, which means sometimes when you walk by, they roll open.

“So I panicked and I was like, "How am I going to take a shower?”

It's going to be a worker passing by. I'll go and take a shower and cook was bathroom." And then I said, "Who fucking cares? Like so he sees a glimpse of me naked in the shower. Like what's a big fucking deal?

Why am I being so dramatic about somebody seeing a body naked?

Like maybe it'll make his day." Do you think that's because you're more getting more comfortable with who you are in your skin? Or because you didn't think he would care to look at you because you're in your 50s. I don't think I thought anything about my 50s.

I think I'm just living more of a fuck it. Who the fuck cares? Welcome to Talk 50 to me. Hi Constance. Hi Constance.

Hi Heidi. How are you besides being afraid to be naked in front of a worker that you're obviously attracted to? I hadn't even seen him. Okay, now if he was young and cute, maybe I wouldn't have had a different vibe.

“But I think it was a weird moment for me because I was like, "Oh my gosh, I did it.”

I'm in my pocket." Like whatever, what am I doing that to myself? I took the power away from, I mean, I'm going to say the man because he was a man in my house, but I took the power away from someone else and I gave it back to myself. And I thought, "Why am I readjusting all of these things for me just because there might

be this person that would see me naked if he happened to pass by at the right moment, whatever." Yeah. So I think that was exciting for me personally because I do think this is what I'm trying to do now in my 50s is be present. Be in this moment right now at this time and stop worrying about the next moment.

Yeah. And the next day, right? So I think there's a lot to be said for when you get into your 50s and for me, it was in my 60s, you really get to the stage of nobody cares. Nobody cares what I'm doing, nobody cares what I look like, nobody cares what job I have.

I care way too much about it and if I care less, everyone else will care less too. Like nobody cares. Right. No, you know, I used that in the last season of Unreal, Jeffrey and I used to sit in my trailer before we would shoot that day and we would look at each other and we would say

nobody cares. Yeah. Because I'm an empath, I think you're an empath as well. And so it's Jeffrey. But it makes it very difficult because I care about everything and everyone and the fact

that I find very few people that do it really bothers me, but it is true. Somebody, I think I read a quote, actually, that said, why do you care about what they think of you when they don't care? I mean, no way, hold on. It was, why do you care what they think of you when they aren't even thinking of you?

Correct. Everyone's thinking about themselves. But see, I'm not. Yes, you are. At the end of the day, well, if you're not, then you need to.

You need to decenter everyone from your life, except you.

You need to be put first at all times, because that's when you're giving your best self.

Because what happens is you start caring about someone else that isn't caring about you. And then you get mad at them and they weren't even invited into the caring conversation. I struggle, struggle with that a lot.

“So I think what we've discovered is that maybe you need to care a little bit more about”

yourself and a little bit less about other people and a lot less about what other people think in your 50s. I'm going to try, I mean, I'm halfway through my 50s.

I will hold your hand. Okay.

I did come up with something, though, the other day, because I was trying to figure

out acronyms. That's a weird obsession. And I thought, ooh, 50 stands for. Fuck it. I can't even remember my own fucking acronym.

I wrote it down. Welcome to BrainFog 101. Okay, let me read to you what my acronym was, because I thought it was so good I couldn't remember it. Okay.

I think I found an exciting new acronym for 50. It is. I'm not cutting anything. I got that. You said it before this.

Okay. No fucking way. Here's what it is. 50 stands for. Fuck it.

Fight toward you. That's beautiful.

“You should get that on a fucking t-shirt.”

Right. Okay. Let's talk to our first guest. Let's go. Here we go.

Today's guest is someone who does care, who I have been lucky enough to know for over

20 years, and she has never once failed to make me laugh or say something kind, even though

the characters that she plays may say otherwise. With her over 130 plus credits, she's built an incredibly versatile career. In her 50s alone, she wrapped six seasons of Lucifer, finished suits, starred with Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer in Unfrosted, stars and mother of the bride with Brooke Shields and the new Goosebumps TV show, who also has become the hostess with the mostist, at

more award shows than I can even count Needless to say, she's making her 50s look absolutely effortless. Please welcome the fucking hilarious and radiant Rachel Harris. Yeah. Oh.

I'm good. I can go now. Okay. Thanks for joining us. And we'll see you next time.

So much, I'm going to get a copy of that and send it to my publicist and be like, "You use this." That's a good, it's a good, well as we like to say. That's where we're here for, because you know what, we would like to highlight the fact that in our 50s, we are fucking killing it.

Okay? Yes.

“So you're a perfect example of that, and that's why we're excited.”

Yeah. We're so happy to have you. And let's jump right into it, Rachel. What is one word to describe your 50s? The first thing that popped into my mind honestly was challenging.

Ooh. Yeah. Mine too. Tell me why.

Challenging and accepting, like, I've never been more aware of my mortality.

I've never been more aware of aging. I've, you know, like, I've never been, I have two little boys. I, which is at an odd age, I'm 57, they're, they're seven and nine. Like to kind of be present and not worry about leaving them too soon, or, you know, like, taking care of myself and challenging workwise, because our industry has changed so much

that I forget who I am. Like it was amazing hearing you read that bio constants, because I was like, I, it's been challenging to get used to, yeah, it's been challenging, remembering who I am. That's like a huge thing, and, and I'm doing a really good job. So I don't mind saying challenging, I'm so grateful I'm aware, and that I have solutions

and friends to talk to about the change, and there's never been a time where we have been more, I don't know when we first started in our circle, talking about this was like groundbreaking. This was the first time a woman, a group of women had ever said to me, let's talk about being in our 50s, and then it exploded.

It's almost like everything aligned, because the Natsman, Dr. Mary Claire, started talking about it, and then then Oprah, who's been over 50 for a bazillion years, chimed in, and got really honest, it seemed like it all collided at the same time.

“Like, we were honestly talking about there's no resources for us in our 50s.”

And then everything exploded, and it's been challenging, but I love that I'm going to choke to up, and we're not even two minutes into this. It's been challenging, but it's, I'm so grateful that I can, like I was just on another, like, man's birch crusher's podcast, talking about menopause.

His wife, he's talking about his wife in menopause and we were laughing so hard, and birch was like, oh, menopause, and he was like, she's got this, and she's, you know, she's got night sweats, and she's got her medication, and like, she's on the estrogen, like,

I was like, this is amazing, that I'm having a renewal conversation about menopause.

“I think the cool thing about it being challenging and facing the challenge publicly is”

when I was in my 50s, which is over a decade ago, nobody talked about being in your 50s. And it was a very scary time and very alone and very invisible. And I think the cool thing is that women like you and constants are so open about what you're going through. It helps the conversation stay alive and out there and you facing the challenge, makes

it less challenging for everybody else. I remember I remember, constants, you did something on your Instagram. You mentioned a symptom or something or like a night sweater or something like that, and I, I think I just like rose my head and said, oh, same, same, I'm with you, and I didn't really think twice about it because I was just like, in an oasis, like wanting people

to be honest about it, and it's so funny, because now that I'm 57, I feel like in my late

40s, I would never talk about my age.

Well, because this generation, I hate to keep giving us the credit, but I do think that generation X has been this giant movement towards women being more honest and open about the struggles that happen when we get here. And I have been saying that everyone's favorite actress is in their 50s right now. And if we aren't taking our platforms and dropping the shame, right, and dropping the shame

around being proud of being here and what a privilege it is to fucking age and not allowing our business to tell us otherwise, and that our stories are less important, we are more important. We have more to say. We have more to stand up for, so they have to step up to us.

We don't step down to them, like this is where I get very frustrated and why I get so excited that hearing you repeat your age over and over again on a podcast, you are right. He wouldn't have done this two years ago. If you remember in our first story, share a circle, there was an actress in there who had

“just turned 50, and her agent said, "You should probably not have that on your page because”

you don't look that age." Yeah. And that crushes my heart. Yes. Well, the other thing that I will say about it is the more that I say it out loud, the more

the conversation is, "My God, you don't look, you don't look like you're like a chef." Like, "You look like you're in your 50s." And I'm like, "This is 50, and I've only done Botox. I haven't done, you know, like, and I like it." And that's for me, I have to look at myself, but I also, like, my hands, like, yeah, when

that Botox and my hands are like, but I also feel like I have to be okay with it. And we have been taught for so long that we are not, we have to be ashamed, that we are not sexual in our 50s.

“And I think I shared this in the group, is that the best sex I've ever had has been”

in my 50s. And it's just because I know myself, I know my body, I don't have the same bullshit attached to it anymore. I'm like, anybody that you see on a red carpet, they've had two hours of hair and makeup, but then they go home and they look like this, so it's like, "I'm like, oh, that's the persona.

That's like the fun night where we get to dress up and look cute and/or or not."

Or like, amazing that Pam Anderson was like, "I'm not doing it in makeup.

I'm like, "That's amazing." I'm like, "I'm laughing. I'm shouting at you guys." You're like, "You're not shouting. You're not shouting. It's good. I mean, I think you just get to this age and you think I'm going to stop listening to what everybody else said." Well, this is what's great is that my age is recently, I say I'm 57 to them all the time and they don't pull back and clutch the pearls or anything like that. They say,

hiding in the way that they're like, "We're not going to discount you from putting you up

for women in their forties." Because you look like you're 40. You have children. You're a person. Yeah, I guess that is lived through your 40s. You can't play that. I'm laughing about it.

“Yes, I know. I'm just saying, "I'm just laughing about it because I think that it shouldn't”

be the conversation. It shouldn't be, oh, but you look younger. It should not even occur." But I'm saying I'm just seeing these little calibrations in the way even agents that have

been so, it's just been the way they were trained. And I'm grateful that I have a female manager

and that I have a female agent and a really great male agent that he's the one that's like, "Yeah, but we need to, we're not going to not put you up for anything like that." He's like, "You're capable of doing, doing differently." But I, I know what I'm saying. I think what's nice is that the conversations are changing around women in their fifties. Women in their fifties today do not look like women in their fifties 20 years ago. So we are now changing. We are putting in the

forefront of this is a woman in her fifties. Not all the women on Golden Girls were all in their fifties playing 70. It's almost like me being 54. I could play a 65-year-old because that 65-year-old would look really young, right? Which is so ridiculous. Why don't you just let me play my age and let's start changing the optics of what women in their fifties look like. Well, a lot of that. I didn't think you were laughing at me. I'm not, no, no, I'm just, I'm laughing at how absurd the conversations are

because it's also like, you know, the Golden Girls were written that way because they were written

“by men and that's what men think women in their fifties and sixties were supposed to look”

like and act like. Let me put her in a movement in a house coat. By the way, do you love a good movement? I do. So yeah, I'm definitely not laughing at you. I know you're not. I know you're not. And I know you. I have a question for you. What do you wish that you knew before coming into your fifties?

I wish that I knew. Because I've always been that person that's like, oh my gosh,

10 years you're going to look back at these pictures and think, why didn't I appreciate you always? Like my mom and my older friends were like, dude, so that it wasn't that it was, I think I wished before coming into my fifties that I knew that every single woman no one gets a pass on men at pause unless they've had like a hysterectomy in their early thirties and they already did it. But I mean, even then, they haven't early menopause, so to speak, right? And that that I wish back then

that I mean, I was ready to take estrogen and progesterone because just out of sheer vanity and also night sweats were killing me. I just was like, this is gotta go. And I wish that I had it so normalized that this is a conversation like, okay, when you get pregnant, you take full of acid, you, you do this. I wish that I had known, I wish they would have been as much information as more than a month in med school. Yeah. That they had people talking about menopause. I wish that I,

that's a really good good question. I'm sorry that's Amy so long to answer, but no, I think that's a good answer. It's a really good answer. But I also think that I would have known that you're still

“going to be strong and vibrant and like amazing in your 50s. Yeah. That's what I wish that I had known”

that like, it doesn't end. Yeah. And you just said something so interesting, though, about you said, you're going to look back at pictures of yourself and say, oh, like, I wish I liked how I looked then or I assume that's what you were leaning towards. So when you look in the mirror now, do you

it's also been like, oh, this is like, I've been disciplined to know, like, this is what I need to do

to to be where I like to be. And it doesn't matter what anybody else is, what they want to look like or what they want to feel like. But this is, it's more about how I

“want to feel in my body, in my, like some people were like, you should cut your hair. You know,”

like, you're, you look, and I was like, no, I'm going to try to make it as long as Donna Telliver's Archie. Thank you, Sam. And I'm not serious, but it's like, I, I'm really getting into that space of like, no, what do I, what do I want my hair to look like? Fuck it if people are like, she's too old to have hair that look, why is she wearing, why is she making her lips on the red carpet,

look like DSL lip. I'm going to be like, because I like it. It's good. Yeah, I don't do it with my children.

Whenever, like, but because I'll do it, she really don't, she doesn't want to do it anymore. Yeah, and also this is what the 50, this is what the 50 should be. Is it should be, you know, I've been trying to get this to catch on, but it's, it's more than the menopause movement, because it's so much more than that. It's the me movement. It's about the time of doing things for me. You know, you still have young children, but you're still making choices for you,

and that is going to change the way you parent. You know, it's going to make you stronger and more present. And in this moment, because of everything you said before, right? So I would ask you. The hair thing is pretty fascinating. The hair thing I got to tell you, because I get the hair thing, like, it's constant, just told me to trim my ends today. By the way, I should get you to tell me it. She didn't tell me to cut my hair, but the hair cut thing, I get the hair cut thing, like,

“you should have a bob. You should cut, like, they want me to cut my hair and start shopping at”

Chico's. No offense to Chico's, but I'm just, it's not going to happen. I mean, once I'm while they have a good thing, a nice chunky be the necklace and a short bob, let's see, and go. Ever wonder what Marie and Tuenet and Kim Kardashian might have in common? Or how celebrity scandal from 2007 is basically just history repeating itself? We're testing Claire and we host right answers mostly, a podcast where history and pop culture collide. From ancient queens to

reality TV stars, we break it all down with the rich juicy storytelling it deserves. It's giving girlhood. It's giving historically accurate most of the time. New episodes every Monday and Friday come for the facts. Stay for the drama. This is right answers mostly where history is just gossip. So I want to talk about this really quickly, because we have, like, time for, like, two more questions.

So, okay, you have been rocking glasses, your whole career and life, and I've always been so

jealous because you've just always made it fucking great. But I feel like there's got to be a version of you now. I'm just going to put words in your mouth. But that feels like you're at the forefront of the fucking glasses. Look, we're all making glasses the hottest accessory on a woman and, and, you know, I just want to applaud you for, like, you were ahead of the curve.

“Which she thinks you should have your last line. Everybody does. Everybody says that to me.”

Yeah. And I'm like, I should. Yeah. And, like, and there was even a TikTok that was so cute. This woman, I, if I had a, had her name, she said, Rachel Harris, where is her glasses? And everything. She just walks in and she's like, no, no, I don't have my glasses. I don't give a fuck to everyone because she wears the same glasses on the record working or whatever. And she's like, good for her. Like, she was like, from Long Island or something. She's like, good for her.

That she, like, just fucking does it. But what is so ironic? You guys, I was like, I just said a couple of days ago. I feel like I need to change, like, in my lenses. So I was going to go down to Warby Parker because I live near and just do a little bit of changes. But I love my dark room glasses so much like, I feel like they're a part of me. I don't feel like I look like myself when I don't have glasses on. And also I can't keep on tax. But everybody since now is told me,

oh, no, it's totally different since you tried context 20 years ago. You dinged on. They're like, you don't feel them anymore. I like to be more worldwide. Don't give up my glasses. Okay.

that I'm like, oh, I know it's very, it's you. I think Warby Parker needs to make a frame called

the Rachel. Yeah, frankly. I think you, I, I think you're absolutely right. Well, we said in years, we're going to happen. Listen, I spent $8,000 having try focal surgery so that I don't have to wear glasses or contact lenses anymore. And I can see distance and read with nothing and it's been

“magical. You would try focal surgery. Yeah. They actually implanted a lens in my eye. That's what”

turning 64 is. Oh, well, my mom had to distribute. Yeah. Yeah. But on her eye. But I miss, to be honest, I miss the look of my glasses. Yeah. Don't you know where glasses that are just. I don't glass.

I like don't have a prescription. I don't. I know people who do. But okay, Rachel,

two more questions for you. You love your fresh eyes. I know. No, the other thing I was going to say is I did a red carpet the other day. Even has been, not kidding, you like, six, 10 months since I've done a red carpet. But, and I didn't wear my glasses. And I was like, oh, my God, my glasses. Hi, like this, this stuff. And I'll tell you where my brain goes when I see photos of myself like that. I go, oh, my God, I need a lower bluff. I need to like get rid of all this

underneath. In that, so sad. And so what I had to do is I was like, no, no, no, I love this. I'm alive. Like, constant, so I go back to it's a privilege that I am getting older. And, and also, I think because of my young kids, I'm worried about doing anything. I can't afford it right now. Anyway, everything's so expensive. But, it's also like, I don't want my kids to, to, it's, it's all about how I frame it, right? It's like, if I say, mommy didn't, I wasn't happy with this part of my face.

And, um, and I wanted it to look a little bit different, so I did something that I can control and that I wanted to do. But then also, I don't, that's a kind of astronomy. It's been like, yeah, it's a constant conundrum. Yeah. Anyway, so we would love for you to give advice to the next generation

of women entering their 50s. What would your advice be? I would say I get an amazing gynecologist,

someone that can talk to you about your blood work and about your hormones. Start that stuff early, get early mammograms, get a baseline in your 30s. And then, um, show up for all of your appointments. You know, um, all of your, do I sound like a mother? Um, but I would say, I would say,

“don't be afraid, like, learn about your fucking periods in your hormones. And if you want to have”

children get stuff checked out in, when you're 30, you know, like, start early and because there's peace in a plan. And, and, and, and just enjoy being a woman. And I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know, I would just be like, start talking to your girlfriends all the time about all of this stuff, um, about, about how we're going to fucking kill it in our 50s. Because like, I guarantee, Constance, like, if we had all been talking about that stuff in our 40s, like,

between our friend groups, nobody would have, like, you, nobody would have fallen off a cliff. Agreed. Agreed. We said, oh, get ready. Are you, where are your hormones at? Right? You know, you mean, like, it would have been just so, like, when you get a cold, oh, what were your symptoms? Oh, did you have that scratchy throat? And then, yeah, whatever. So, we just have to release the shame around understanding, aging, that aging is aging. And that's we share and communicate,

“then we won't feel alone. And that's why we have this podcast. We have one more question to ask you,”

yeah, we have this podcast because we want women to enter their 50s with joy. So, this is a surprise question, but don't know what it's going to be. Okay. Get ready. When is the last time you told yourself how awesome you are? When is the last time you told yourself how awesome you are? Probably yesterday. I love it. And why? Yeah, well, well, because, or I say, like, you did a great job. You did a good job. It was back to school night with my kids for one of my sons. And I went with

mom, step mom. And I love them. And that relationship hasn't always been super easy.

And I was introducing Aaron to, like, our, to the other parents. And I, I was like, this is, like, this is Aaron. And she's, the kids, step mom, or I was like, she's my ex-husband's partner. And I was getting so nervous, like around all the other parents that, and I was like, and then I, I was like joking, I said, we're actually a threple. We're not a threple. And then, um, and I thought it was funny, but then I realized, uh, I might have been uncomfortable

for Aaron. And so I, uh, just sent them an audio message last night saying, here, I apologize if

“it was clumsy if I made you feel awkward or anything like that. And then I think when I was done,”

sending that message, I said, that was a really great job, like to myself. Like, I was like, you did a really good job. And it's okay that you did it in perfectly. And um, I'm really proud of you. Like, that's like what? That's awesome. What do you think you're awesome? I love that. And you did a really good job with us today. And we thank you for being here. Yeah, you're doing a great time. You're doing great. Okay. We love you. You guys. Well, constant, I'm just so happy because

when we did our big thing, like, their first midlife monologues thing, you were really talking

about how it was bleak. You know, when you had like gone off that cliff. And to see what you have done since December is fucking phenomenal. And I mean, Heidi, you're a part of it, but I'm just saying everything that you've done is inspiring. And you're fearless. And both of you guys just doing this all together is historic. It's going to, it's going to be legendary and a pivotal moment

“in history. I guarantee you. And until I meet that, well, we love it. Thank you so much. That's why”

I love words. And thanks for joining us. We love you. Thanks for having me ding dongs. I love you guys. So we had stopped recording and Rachel said something so interesting that I want to repeat that she also was saying that she thought she was going to come into her 50s and she was going to eat whatever she wants and that she would be like put out to pasture and she would be able to just

like go and whatever, fuck off and who cares except now it's been the opposite that she has never

felt more like she wants to soar and fly and flourish in her 50s and that this is what is the tale that we're not being told is about how your 50s can really empower you not take you down. Yeah, it's again, it's it's it's not listening to the voices out there because as she was growing up, the voices were saying as she said 50 is dead and 50 is absolutely not dead. And I think what's so interesting about talking to Rachel and talking to a lot of the women that we've talked to

is, you know, if you're just a regular person out there in the world aging, never underestimate how fucking difficult it is for actresses who have to put themselves and their faces out there on a daily basis who have literally just been beaten up since they were 30. It's really depressing quite honestly and I feel bad that we don't just let, you know Kate Winslet talks about it all the time but it's taken her a while to get there. Yeah, he sadly and I don't even know if I can say this

or not but I believe it's public knowledge, you know, she started doing things to her face very, very young and I think that was the pressures of the business and now she has grown into herself and she's so much stronger and so much more like fuck this, I don't want to go back to being young. I'm so proud of being here and and looking the way I am and the way I do, I don't want to mask that anymore. I don't want to, you know, Andy McDowell talks about it all the time.

I don't want to be younger. I did that already. I would like to live in this moment and know what this is without being criticized for doing it. Yeah, and I know we give celebrity like a really

“shitty name sometimes but I think it's been such an important part of the talk 50 to me”

an aging process because when Halle Berry comes out and says something people listen and you feel less alone and so it's wonderful to have guests that are really opening up about what a struggle it

concept. Yeah, I never thought I was coming into this business doing something that I love and that

one day I would be considered not valuable anymore just because of the way I looked. My talent has gotten better. Yeah, it's fucking mental. Anyway, that's all the time we have for today. We end

on that note. We end on that note and we end on that note. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for joining

“us and by now. Okay, not yet. By now. Bye now. No. No. No. You have to give all the information first.”

Right. Do you want to do it? I mean do I'll do it. If you want more talk 50 to me and who the

fuck doesn't follow us on Instagram, subscribe to our email list or get TFTM updates and announcements.

Have a question. DM us on Instagram @talk50to me or email us at [email protected]

“send us questions and the thoughts send us anything. Give us a welcome. Please like and subscribe”

wherever you find your favorite podcast. And that is it. See you next Tuesday. Bye now. Talk 50 to me with Heidi Clements and Constance Zimmer is produced by Alex Beatty, recording engineer, Alia Walker, editing by Zelene Hesse, music by Matt Friedman, production services provided by A4S podcast

“studios, a talk 50 to me LLC production distributed by the forward network.”

Talk 50 to me. Hi. I'm Tampson Fidel, journalist and author of How to Manipause and host of the Tampson Show, a weekly podcast with your roadmap to midlife and beyond. We cover it all. From dating to divorce, aging to ADHD, sleep to sex, brain health, the body fat, and even how perimenopause can affect your relationships and trust me it can. Each week I sit down with doctors experts and leaders in longevity for unfiltered conversations,

packed with advice on everything from hormones to happiness. And of course, how to say saying during what can be, well, let's face it a pretty chaotic chapter of life. Think of us as your midlife survival guide. New episodes released every Wednesday. Listen now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.