Nobody Told Me My Village Would Be Online

Hi, I'm low-boss Ruth and Tally and I'm a first-time mom.

Over the last decade, I have built wellness products for millions of women at my company, blood wellness, but nothing has rocked my world quite like having our miracle baby, like not even close. This is Tell Me I'm a Good Mom, a show about navigating modern

“motherhood in a culture that tracks our kids, but frankly it sidelines us. And I think it's time”

motherhood got a rebrand. Let's get into it. Everybody, this is your new episode of Tell Me I'm a Good Mom and today I want to talk about I guess kind of the obvious being pregnant online. I'm pregnant. My baby could be born literally at any moment. This is my new podcast, obviously, and I'm so excited to be partnering with dear media. When I had the idea for the show,

I realized out of the gate, even the name itself. Tell Me I'm a Good Mom is controversial to a certain degree, right? And I knew that people listening or tuning in or even just seeing the social clips would have a strong reaction. And that is really what I want to talk about today in this episode as I am preparing to welcome our daughter into the world being pregnant online. Like, why are we doing this, everybody? It seems crazy to be pregnant, to be putting the content

online, but maybe it's not. So today's episode is half manifesto to a certain degree, half cultural juice, just saying that like I'm pregnant on the internet feels like it does feel like it comes with a comment section. And again, like that is kind of the point. There are already opinions baked into the phrase, the reactions, the assumptions, and really I'm okay with all of that. And on this show, tell me I'm a Good Mom. We are as episodes continue going to be

okay with all of that, right? The show is nuanced. It's okay to disagree. It's okay to reflect.

I want to remind you that being pregnant online is really not new at all. Sharing has always

existed, and it has always made people a little bit uncomfortable. The internet did not invent

“sharing. It just gave it a new address to a certain degree. If we're being totally honest, right?”

Before social media, women shared their pregnancies in their kitchens, in their living rooms, through phone calls, through sippancies, right? You used to have your baby, and then invite the whole neighborhood over to see your baby and a lot of people still do that, right? Neighbours stopping by. Frankly, 200 years ago, if you were, you know, the Queen of England or whatever, you might have to give birth in front of a room of people. Just to prove to them,

that the child you birthed was legitimate and had not been brought in in a bedpan, right?

So the instinct to talk about this moment, a moment this big, has always been there, right?

And on this show, we're not really asking for approval to talk about this stuff. We're making room for a moment that is so big during a truly monumental change in your life. I hope with that, it kind of helps to set the tone, not only of this episode, but also the show

“in general, right? Like, I'm not here to convince anybody of anything. It's not a debate, and honestly,”

what I would also like to say is that it's not that serious, right? We can talk about pregnancy and motherhood and our deep feelings about it, but it also, it's not that big of deal. If we disagree, if we don't come to the same conclusions, right? Anyway, so that's kind of sharing we've already determined and agreed, did not begin with the internet, right? And I want to go into a

online to a certain degree. And I actually want to be really clear that sharing who I am and sharing my story is actually, for me, not new. If you are new to the show, if you're new to who I am, surprise, I was on TV as a kid. I was cast onto two MTV shows out of high school. The first was Lagoon Beach, the year was 2004. Actually, it was earlier than that. We filmed my senior year of high school in 2003, 2004, but they cast us onto the show our junior year. So it was even,

you know, 2002, kind of when the whole Lagoon Beach journey started. And I was on TV, you know, from 17 through the early years of college, and then I graduated to the hills. And that show ended

“in 2012. I'm going to need a little clarity on that. I think 2010. So sharing has never really”

been new for me. What I have to say is that when we were cast onto Lagoonah and the 20th, like the 20 year Lagoonah reunion is actually going to be coming out pretty soon. And I think you're going to hear a lot from people about their experience, kind of like how they shot thought the show would go. We didn't really anticipate that it would become a full-blown reality show. At the time, there was a show on MTV that was called My True Life. And I don't know if there's

show still exists today. But we thought that the show was going to be much more like My True Life. And feature in Highlight Kids from Orange County, because on this CW at the time, there was a

“very popular show on called The OC with Misha Barton. And we just loved the OC. We were just”

normal kids, right? We were obsessed with pop culture. And when they came for a town, we said, yes, we want to do that. It was so exciting. They came to the high school. They set up in the quad and they had to spill out these, you know, big paper packets about our lives and our friends. And it was really interesting. And then we realized once the show was on TV that it was Pandora's box. The first episode premiered. And the first episode premiered actually pretty close to my

18th birthday, the very first week I was in college. I was at UC Santa Barbara at the time. And I had been living in the dorms for a couple days before the show started. And then the show started

and my life was never the same again. I went from normal college kid for those first couple days

to kind of like the weirdo on campus, almost immediately, almost overnight. I was bullied. I was harassed. It was crazy. And I realized that it was uncomfortable for me. But I was going to have to figure out how to live in my new reality. Because like I said, it was Pandora's box. There's no going back. And ultimately, over the years, I learned how to make peace with this new version of my life, right. This version of my life where I would always be in the public eye to a certain degree. And I

think that there have been many moments where I have thought, oh, I can just like disappear.

“But I think fans of Laguna or fans of pop culture in general have seen over 20 years”

that the show just doesn't really go away. It remains popular. And the people who came up on that show,

are still relevant, right? There are a lot of people that have incredible public facing careers.

I realized the internet has also dramatically evolved and changed since we were in high school. And it has given us this platform to continue to share for better or for worse, kind of whether we like it or not. And I think that's kind of what I'm getting at is that I have had an opportunity to continue my career in parts on the internet. And I've asked myself many times or had the conversation with myself many times that it would be silly to not take advantage

of these incredible blessings, right? And like these incredible gifts that have been

part-fought and battle one, but that I have, right? And in a lot of ways, I have gotten super

I've learned how to deal with negative feedback with people's opinion of me that

“may or may not be accurate, right? Like, I have my opinion of me, but you have your opinion of me,”

and it could be a more realistic opinion of me than I have myself, right? And sharing my story has just become a part of who I am to a certain degree. And so when I got pregnant, there really wasn't a part of me that thought, I'm gonna keep this from people. I'm gonna keep this from my audience. I'm gonna keep this from customers of love wellness who have gotten used to me sharing my health story and trust me because of what I have shared, right? That sort of, that sort of was

the next chapter of my public story. I went from being on Laguna and the hills. I moved to New York city in 2012 and then I started love wellness. That's a decade ago now, my goodness. Time flies when you're having fun, everybody. I started love wellness because I was so incredibly unwell, physically yes, but also emotionally spiritually. I was going through a really significant transition at the time coming off of TV and trying to figure out what my path forward looked like.

And it only really got easier for me when I was honest with my audience and my community about what I was going through. I remember I had a blog at the time, the lowdown. It was one of the early blogs and I wrote an article at some point before I launched love wellness. Talking about how I had had like the hardest year of my life and I was going through such a moment of depression and anxiety. And it was so cathartic to share my story to communicate out what had been bubbling up and

building it inside of me for so many years. And it was only when I started to share again

“that I started to feel better and ultimately get better. And I think that that is a big part of”

why people share pregnancy content online also like we're not sick. But pregnancy is confusing and it's isolating and it's lonely. And so when we share, we're not seeking approval per say, we're seeking community. We're we're looking for people to listen and to look and to say, hey, I've been there too, right? We're looking for validation in some way, but again, it's not necessarily

approval. And that one blog post ultimately led me to start love wellness. You know, this is a company

that I have really put my blood sweat and tears into. It's our 10-year anniversary this year, 2026. I started this company in my living room alone in this moment that I'm talking about this moment of, you know, deep depression and anxiety and being so unwell. And again, it was not just sharing that mental health story, but it was sharing my physical health story in journey that not only helped me really launch that business and company. But I became known for talking about

in a very transparent and honest and hopefully moving towards stigma freeway of talking about women's bodies because I was talking about vaginal health in 2016. I was talking about women's hormones in 2016, gut health, all kinds of things that really up until that point were quite taboo. And it's because

“I was willing to go there in those early days that I think my business launched so successfully”

and ultimately why it has been able to grow over many years to where it is today. I was a,

you know, solo founder operator, those first two to half, three years. And we were the first company to make a fragrance free intimate cleanser. We were the first company to put work acid repositories

multi-strain vaginal probiotics. We were really on the forefront of white space innovation in the

women's wellness category all the way back in 2016. So it was sharing my story, but it was also really great forward thinking innovation that was based on the reality of women's bodies, the science behind women's bodies that pushed my business forward. And now again, I only think it is what it is because I was willing to share this story. And so again, as I've gotten pregnant, this desire to share and commune is kind of back

“and I think it's why I wanted to do this show. Not so that my pregnancy journey is”

super polished because it's not, right, a lot of the stuff that I put out there

is not super thought through. I make it on a whim. It's based on what I'm feeling, but that's also sort of like the reality of sharing anything that is really significant that is happening in your life. So for me, this show and sharing my story is really kind of adding another chapter to who I am, personally and professionally, this isn't a pivot for me. It's really about continuity, I think. And for me, pregnancy really isn't just a physical event. It is one of the biggest

identity shifts that a person can go through. It has changed how I feel about my body,

my future, my work, my relationships, time, everything starts to be reorganized around it. And when

“something changes you that deeply, the instinct to talk about it, I think is super natural. You”

want to name it, witness it. You want to understand how other people have moved through it. And I also want to acknowledge the other side of that because I have been there too. I'm 39, having a baby soon. I didn't meet my husband until I was 37, and I was single for a number of years before I met my husband. And so I know that for a lot of people, pregnancy and motherhood content can be really hard to consume. Like when I was longing for a relationship,

when I was longing to be a mom, seeing pregnancy announcements and pregnant friends felt like this

“like quiet stab in the heart over and over and over again. I am holding a pencil. That feeling is”

so real. And that really deserves to be named also. And for people to make space for that. And now that I'm again, like on the other side of that, and I do have a platform, I want to be honest about something else. I almost, it's like I'm having a conversation with the previous version of me in not like an apology type of way, but in an explanation type of way, because now I've been on both sides and both sides are really emotional. It is almost impossible not to be consumed by

what is happening, like the biological shift, the emotional shift, the way your entire sense of self reorganizes around this one fact. It is so profound. It is destabilizing. It is life-shattering in the most literal sense. And when something is that all encompassing, it does become about you and not in an ego way, but in an existential way. You're trying to make sense of who you are becoming. And so sharing isn't about broadcasting perfection. It's really about

processing transformation in real time. We've tried it all. Expensive lattes, 5 AM workouts, even juice cleanses, but feeling good shouldn't be this complicated. Introducing new quick melt strips from love wellness, a simple new way to supplement. Formulated to deliver a concentrated dose of active ingredients, these fast dissolving strips melt in your mouth. It's sugar free support for energy, sleep, bloating, and more to help you feel your best any time,

Alright, we've tried it about like so much serious stuff, this episode. The manifesto half of this episode, which could go live and I could, hey, listen to it, and be like, that is so dumb. But I felt like or feel like as I put together my content for the

first half of this episode, the manifesto, the manifesto have that the POV behind like why we share

is not shared that much. And I felt like it deserved an explanation to a certain degree. But with that, I want to transition into some different kind of topics for this episode. And I want to talk about the fact that having a pregnancy or motherhood podcast is not about sharing my kit. And I want to say this part like really plainly because I do think it matters. My kit is not my content. I'm really here to talk about what it means to be a mom

physically, emotionally, professionally in real time, like as these things are happening to me.

“I am not of the belief that reflection is exploitation. And I think some people will definitely”

disagree with me on that. But women have been talking about motherhood forever, right? What's new isn't the conversation? It's the permission to say what actually what it actually feels like when you're in it. And so again, for me talking about being a mom isn't really about my kit. It is an exploitation. It's like us figuring out how to make sense of

this change. And so it leads me to ask, what is okay to share? And I think a lot of parents grapple

with this question all the time because the internet is a fucking crazy place, everybody. I was talking to my sister-in-law about this a few weeks ago. And I said, well, like, it's okay to like share family photos sometimes. My daughter will be in them. I feel like that's normal.

“And she is a lawyer. So I think she takes the very conservative POV on this. She was like, no,”

no, no, you can't do that. And it kind of got me thinking, like, as my husband and I prepare for the birth of our daughter, where will we draw the line? Like, what is okay and what is not okay in terms of just personal stuff that we want to share because we already all share personal stuff on the internet anyway. Like, when she's born, will I share her full name? Probably not. Will I share her birthday? Will I share her face? I don't, I don't really know yet. I get all kinds

of opinions as I said. And I see people do all kinds of different types of sharing, right? Like, we all know we see the content of the kid and there's the heart emoji over the face with the smiley face emoji over the face. And then there are some people that, you know, only show like the back of their child on the internet. And then there's people that just go for it and they put their kids on the internet almost diary style, like pretty regularly. And I don't really judge anybody for any

any of that, like any, like level they take, right? It's super personal. And I'm just not quite sure where I'm personally going to land on it yet. If that makes sense. And I'm sure I will actually

“get a lot of DMs about this. And I think the opinions will fall all over the map, right? Like,”

you're in the public eye. Like, you're a bad mom if you put anything about your kid on the internet. Also, you're in the public eye. Like, we're a part of your story. You know, we're so interested in your family. And like, those people's intentions are actually good. You know what I mean? Versus creeps. Because I really think it's like the creep factor that everybody is worried about, right? Because again, like, it's normal to share your story. It's normal to share your family with your community

around you. And not a ton of people, like, have this real life village anymore. And the internet

village now. So it makes sense that you want to share. But it really is about the creep factor.

I think it comes down to the creep factor. And I think it's hard to exist truly in a society where, again, like, most people have good intentions. And it feels natural to want to share.

“But then you have to think about all of these risks involved and all of these unknowns.”

And I'm somebody that doesn't want to live in fear of the unknowns. But I also don't want to take unnecessary risk. And so I guess in the coming weeks, my husband and I will decide where we

personally draw the line, right? And I also want to give myself permission today to change where the line

is and not necessarily have to explain why I'm doing so. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, I'm curious. I think I will get a lot of, you know, DMs and opinions on this. And if you have a figured out, please feel free to slide into my DMs and tell me what you think I should do.

“Speaking of the internet, apple culture for pregnancy and moms is so absolutely out of control.”

And I mentioned this on the birth story, birthline episode. But when my phone figured out that I was pregnant, immediately, by the way, my entire algorithm changed instantly. And it has not gone back to what it was. I actually got it for my previous algorithm. It was like a lot of like astrology and dog videos. And now it's just flooding me with mom content, parenting content, pregnancy content, birth content, all the stupid shit that I supposedly need to buy to be an

effective parent or whatever, all the time. And so much of it is so annoying, so exquisitely annoying. And it makes it even harder to exist in the world without the topic of motherhood, kind of being on your mind constantly and really affecting like your behavior in the world. But then there's this other part of the internet that actually is nice and helpful and educational. There's this part of the internet that I have been really drawn to when it comes to

fertility pregnancy, all the stuff that we are talking about, all the stuff that I have really been talking about and sharing for years. I mean, it's why I've created this show, right, to try to be a part of that online sharing culture in a positive and nuanced and reflective type of way.

“And I think for me, it started with my own fertility journey back in 2020,”

when I decided to first freeze my eggs. And like the internet, Google's an educational tool for

better worse, right. But I went through infertility. I went through IVF. I went through long stretches of uncertainty where I didn't know how things would turn out. And I think what helped me most during that time wasn't experts telling me what to do. It wasn't like advice or plans. It was other women telling the truth to be totally honest, to be totally honest about telling the truth. Their stories gave me language, not answers, like language for feelings that I hadn't yet learned

how to name at that time. They helped me recognize what I was experiencing. Instead of questioning, whether something was wrong with me or not, right? Because like, there was something wrong with me. Stories don't replace doctors or decisions. They really replace isolation. And I see that time and time again when I talk about my own fertility story. When I ask you guys, what are your questions about fertility and IVF? Because so many of us are super isolated right now. Like I said,

And so for better or worse, the internet has become this library of lived experience,

especially around fertility pregnancy, motherhood. It's the first place that they see

something that looks like their real life. And it's how we learn now, pregnancy and motherhood are like too big to be covered in a single appointment with an expert. And so hearing other women's

“stories gives context and language and reassurance. And it's an honest one. And I think one of the”

upcoming episodes that we're going to do is an IVF episode with my fertility doctor sharing my story. But I kind of want to talk about the stories of the women on the internet who have really like held me close the past couple of months or years even. And this leads me to ask all of you listening, who do you want to be on the good mom show? Who's stories have touched you, shaped you, educated you, helped you? Who do you want to get to know better outside of their Tik Tok or their

Instagram? I would love that type of feedback from everybody as we build out the guest list for this

“show because your guys to see back is an incredibly important part of how we build tell me”

I'm a good mom. So I will make sure to ask on my Instagram specifically who you guys want on the show.

But if you have any incredible people thought starters that you want to send my way anyway,

please do. I wanted to take a minute to talk about some of the people that really, they will probably think this is creepy. But they have really become my online companions to surgery. My online friends, whether they know it or not, whether it's like medical advice or pregnancy or motherhood stories. So the first person that I want to call out is Kelly Gerardi. She is incredible. She is an astronaut. She's amazing. She has been very publicly sharing her story

about secondary infertility and super publicly about pregnancy loss, which I don't think anybody that shares online expects something really tragic and awful to happen and it's tough when you have an audience and when they're following along on your story because I think you feel compelled

“to share, especially, well, you kind of can't help. You have to share when something goes wrong”

if you're already sharing your journey. She has so beautifully and eloquently and bravely might I add, shared her pregnancy loss and secondary infertility story with all of us. And I learned a lot about the good side of the internet when it comes to mom culture through Kelly because it definitely exists and I feel, I feel really emotional when I talk about her story

in her journey because again, I am a bystander. I'm an observer of this incredible woman and it's

so remarkable to me how much a stranger can make you feel and how much you can root for people that you don't even know. Anyway, if you are dealing with infertility, your secondary infertility, which is a very interesting topic of its own, I would highly recommend that you check out Kelly's content. She's really cool. Another person that I follow, I love her, is a labor and delivery nurse on TikTok. Her name is Bree. She's at labor with Bree and she has the most beautiful,

calming, educational way of talking about birthing babies and I have learned a lot from this individual from what to expect when you're about to get a C section, like literally what's happening in the operating room to everything that you need and don't need in your hospital bag.

labor and birth delivery experience. Another person I want to call out, my friend Jill, who is going

through IVF and endometriosis. She's at gel fax. We comment on each other's posts sometimes. She and I have a similar story. I had an endometriosis, a decision surgery at the beginning of 2025 and I think it's that surgery that allowed me to get pregnant successfully and she's going through a very similar

“journey. So if you want to go cheer her on at gel fax on TikTok and then a very popular pregnancy,”

she's a mom now. Olivia Colpo, my goodness, she had some hot tips about what to pack in her hospital

bag. And I just love her mom content. She's real and honest and funny and interesting and you

can see yourself in her and she was really brave about being in the public eye and sharing her story and her body and how she felt and I just admire how she handled it all, like really as somebody in the public eye super gracefully and yeah she she's she's she's some hot inspo for me. So I want to wrap up this episode by reminding pregnant moms, moms,

“anybody that joy and reassurance can co exist right sharing our stories needing that reassurance”

doesn't mean weakness and I want to say this clearly right needing reassurance does not mean that you're unhappy it does not mean that you're incapable it does not mean that you don't know what you're doing it just means that you care deeply about something that really matters to you because if you are living through this moment in your life clearly it's going to matter to you. And so I want to end the show by saying that the show is not meant to be prescriptive

what we're going to talk about on the show is not how everyone has to do motherhood it's just like how I am choosing to do motherhood at least out of the gate right and if this resonates with you I am so glad that you're here and if it doesn't that is okay too I also make space for you here

“if you want to listen just to think to yourself I absolutely hate this woman like that's okay”

I can handle that as somebody who has been on TV since I was 17 years old I can not I can handle that that is okay right the show is not an argument it is an offering

I think ultimately for me too it's not about perfect parenting it's not about doing things right

it's not about turning kids into content it's really about motherhood as identity because it's an identity that you cannot escape once you become one and the show is about how we talk about it and how we treat women when they are in it so before we end today's episode a couple of house keeping items as I start to record future episodes I am really looking to learn from you and to build a community here so you're going to see me ask you questions seek out opinions and advice on

Instagram and TikTok and bring that content that I get from you back to the show so please follow me at low boss worth if you have not yet you can subscribe to the tell me I'm a good mom podcast wherever you're already listening and you can watch complete episodes of my show on my YouTube alobos worth that's it for today's episode of tell me I'm a good mom and if someone hasn't told you already today I will you are a good mom please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements

and advertisements for products and services individuals on the show may have a direct or or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.