Michelle Can't Handle the Truth

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“Remember, you can hear my radio program daily”

on SiriusXMTrium and connect with me 24/7 at doctorwarra.com. Michelle, welcome to the program. - Dr. Larra, thank you so much for taking my call. - You're welcome.

- I found you, like, I was just, I don't know. I found you a few months ago, and if I knew that you were around forever, man, I wish I found you before 'cause I would have made difficult decisions in my life,

but you're amazing. I'm so glad I found you, and I can, you know, be a better person for it now. - Oh, thank you. - What's going on?

- This is tough. I'm sorry. - Go ahead. - Okay. - Go ahead. - Okay, I don't know where to start the beginning,

or the end, or I don't even know where to start, but I'm going to start in the middle

“and work your way out sideways, simultaneous.”

- Okay. - A month ago, we had to say goodbye to our pup. - A puppy. - I'm 50, yes, our dog, our dog. He was 10.

- And why did we have to say goodbye? What happened? - We tried the best we could in October. We found out that he had cancer, you know, and we were like, whatever it takes.

Not like money matters, but it was like anything, you know, whatever we can do. And, you know, $15,000 later, two month later, and it just didn't, like it worked for a while, and then it didn't.

So if we had someone to come to a home, it was peaceful, and I feel so bad because I know your listeners, I don't want to trigger anyone, but. - I don't believe in the triggering crap,

so don't worry about that. - Would that please? - That's just crap. - I don't just want to meet other people sad. Of course they're going to be sad

if they remind themselves of the loss of their dog. What's bad about that? - It's bad about that. - Oh, please. Oh my god.

Okay, you've been reasonably brainwashed. Go ahead. - Okay, so.

I don't know, is my first pup.

He chose me, you know, the whole thing. Like, I didn't call him because you feel bad that your dog is past. - I just don't know how to move on. - You already moved on.

- Like, you have already moved on. - Yes, you have. You've done different things every day. You've made phone calls, you've seen friends, you've taken care of some work,

you've got to the grocery, that's all moving on. Moving on does not include ripping it out of your head. I think a lot of people think moving on means I don't feel bad anymore.

I feel totally fine. That's moving on. Of course it's not. Moving on, you did the next morning when you woke up. You did it when you took showers and brush your teeth.

That's all moving on. That you miss your dog? I hope so. After 10 years, be terrible if you didn't miss your dog.

All right.

Part of this is one I've never eaten my house again.

I mean, okay, okay, I don't want me to have to call somebody because you decided you don't want to live because your dog is not living. You want me to have to call somebody to deal with that with you because I will.

If you're going to say things like that, there will be action to protect you from yourself. Is that what you want? Is that what you're suggesting to me? No.

Then don't play games. I do have children here. Don't play games like that. Don't get melodramatic. It's very destructive to everybody else in your life

who now finds out.

“The only thing that matters to you is a dog.”

They don't. I don't believe that's the message you want to give anybody in your life who cares about you. So you're going to have to cut the melodrama. Got it?

I swear I'm not being melodramatic.

Yes, you were.

“A moment ago, you were a cut it, don't do it again.”

Because I will have to call somebody because I worry about your well-being. I'm fine. I mean, I just don't want to leave the house again. That kind of idea.

I don't want to move. Like, I won't move because my dog was here. And I want to move because your dog is in your heart. And your dog is in your dog. I don't have a puppy again.

OK. OK, Michelle, I'm unable to be a views to you. You're prone to melodrama. I don't want to be. And I consider melodrama at your displaying

to be a more of a lifelong pattern. Therefore, it's not a reaction to the dog dying. This is your personality and how you deal with life and tragedy. In which case, in a radio program,

“I'm not going to be able to make a dent in that.”

Other to say, and you may want to participate in some serious ongoing in-depth psychotherapy to deal with these ideas. [VIDEO PLAYBACK] Have you said everything you're going to say?

Because this is a radio program, and they need sound. Yes. I just don't know how to get over the death of a dog,

because it's my first dog.

You don't? We get over it like we get over everything else to support meant when we applied to a college and didn't get in, to support meant when we had a crush on somebody, and they liked somebody else, to support meant when we thought

we could win in the powerball thing. We have to support meant all the time. And you've survived them all. So much easier, though. You have survived them all.

Cut the melodrama. You've gotten away with this melodrama. You get people to really suck up to being sympathetic. This is quite a thing you do. I'm impressed.

That's so nice to meet you. You're good at it. Oh, yeah. I didn't post on Facebook. I mean, never.

Didn't post on Facebook. What does that have to do with-- I didn't like to do something that I-- in China. Tell the whole world, OK.

The melodramatic things you're expressing that are coming from your head, worry me about your well-being. Can you tell me what I should do then? About what? Can maybe not be so melodramatic?

I don't know. Yeah, cut it. Stop doing it. Stop saying these-- You say a troupe of things.

No, I didn't say to do that. Listen carefully, and don't put words in my mouth. I said, cut the melodrama. It's absurd. Show's very little maturity or an emotional maturity.

This is a hurt. That's it. It isn't the end of your life. It isn't the end of the world. You have friends, you have family, you have hobbies,

you have work, you have this, you have that, you have the other thing. This is a disappointment and a sad loss. A few years ago, I lost a dog, too. I know what it feels like.

And you carry on with your life and eventually, you just miss them, which is nice, because missing somebody means they were important. If you don't miss somebody, it means you really didn't give a damn. So missing your dog means you had a nice bond with your dog.

But to go through this melodrama is not to honor your dog. It's to sound nuts. You have any children? Yes, I have three. And what would you do if you heard them calling me saying,

I don't want to live, I don't want to go on.

I'm never going to be happy again.

I don't want to connect with anybody. I don't want to connect with my mother. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go to school.

“What would that be like for you if you're heard your kid do that?”

I understand.

It's just sob, Michelle, just sob.

“A few times, maybe more than a few, sob.”

Trust me, it's good for you and your lacrimal glands and it changes hormones in your brain. It's very releasing to have a good cry. Instead of sounding like a nutcase, a good cry. Well, let it out.

All right, tell me two of the cute things this dog did. He was the best. I don't know. I don't want to hear he was the best. He wasn't.

No dog is the best. Except to the owner.

We came home to tell me the cute thing.

We like every dog does that. What was unique about your dog? Shush! Every dog is excited when we come home. Tell me what was unique to your dog.

What was cute about your dog? When we brought him home. This is this, this isn't exactly that. Sorry. So it makes you sad.

It's fine to be sad. He's dead. Can you just say he's dead? Say it. You know what?

Say it. Please. Say, please say you need to do this.

“When we brought him to home from New Jersey from Manhattan,”

it was the first time that he stepped on grass.

And we got-- I need you to say, he's running. Stop avoiding it. Stop avoiding it. Stop avoiding it.

Why? Because we can't avoid life. It doesn't solve anything. Avoiding it doesn't make a change. It doesn't make it be different.

And it doesn't give us the opportunity to flow with it. If we fight something off, we're not flowing with it. And we must. He's dead.

Say it. Please. Here's your deal. Say he's dead or hang up on me. One more time.

One more time. Come on. You can do it one more time. He's dead. That's right.

“And if you feel like crying, go right ahead.”

I don't want to be melodramatic. It just hurts. You're not being melodramatic right now. You're being human. OK.

Thank you. You're welcome. Consider yourself hugged. Now hang up and go cry. Thank you.

You're welcome. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars.

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