#2488 - James McCann

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Everything's shit. Think of everything. Good to see you, my brother. Oh, yeah. Always great to see you.

I'm good. It was fun. How did you get the club mouse? I was terrified. I was fucking terrified.

You just look like you're back. No, I thought that's the end. I've been away for too long. I'm going to suck. None of the new stuff's going to work.

They'll see me. I'll go. He was wrong to come back. Fuck him off. No, no, no.

It was so nice. It was so nice. You were telling the story? I said, hold these thoughts. Yeah.

Well, I didn't know you didn't.

I didn't know we'd never spoken about it.

No, tell me the story.

“I-- well, that's why I came to America to start”

is I got off for the job hosting a Catholic podcast. And they fired me as-- I packed up everything in Adelaide. Just like two and a bit years ago, I had the kids in the wife.

And on the way to America, I got fired. And they said, we'll still pay you rent. It's in Stubenville, Ohio, beautiful Appalachian town. Just outside of Pittsburgh. And yeah, it's where we went three months, I was there.

So what did they see that they fired you for? Oh, a lot. They made a compilation, didn't they? Not the guy. The guy who showed-- they were right to find them.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because it was a good, clean Catholic podcast. And then the business manager was like, there was a sketch about stabbing someone in the throat with an AIDS needle.

They're like, he's just the word, can't all the time. Like, this is a sponsorship nightmare. Get 'em out. So I say, OK, but they still said, well, pay your rent for three months.

And you can figure something out. You still got a visa. And I was terrified, was just in the-- With kids and a wife. Three kids, no job.

I didn't have the money to go back home. Oh, my God. Because the one to go back home-- Oh, my God. And I didn't know that I had been passed at the mothership,

because I didn't know how the system worked. So on the way in to go to Stubenville, where I was like, I figured something out. I stopped in at Austin to see Shane. Shane said, go and do the mothership open, Mike.

I did it. Adamig had said, if you're ever in town, come back, pay for sports. I didn't know that men I was passed. I didn't know I could work here. I just thought he was like, I could audition again.

And then, so I had three confronting months in the snore. Beautiful part of the world. It was the most terrified I've ever been in my-- He says that-- He says that I was an Australian.

That's from a high level. No, I love it. That's the most beautiful part of the world. I loved it. I wish I went back and I wish that.

Wow, why's a West Virginia? Yeah, that's where you're at the world. It looks exactly like that. Well, that is gorgeous. It's--

I was a God's country, but also so abandoned by the-- the pod holes are crazy. I saw real heroin addicts.

So I'd never really seen heroin addicts before.

Just sleepy people. I saw street prostitutes. That's still going on. And there's a small town, right? There's a small town.

This is a-- I went there. There are Catholics have moved there to try and fix it. It was with Dean Martin, was from the Wu-Tang clan kind of started out there.

They're starting on. Not, yes.

“But I think it's like the Rizzer's Auntie lived there”

and they moved out there. And then they got involved in rap in the Pittsburgh started out there. I got asked for it. It's on Bill soon.

I believe I'm right about that. They don't have a mural for them. Wow. But it's great. There's a--

Yeah, there's a lot of Catholic content creators there. And they're trying to take over town. I went there originally because my new politics-- like my favorite magazine. And I got to meet the guys who made it.

And I was so excited. So how did they hire you? Wu-Tang's Rizzer-- I can't believe I got a chance. It's a government bill.

Wow. When they all come over to visit him, he discussed a largely undocumented era of his life in which Pittsburgh played a role.

And that's one of the first conversations we had.

I was like, you said something about Pittsburgh that wasn't flattering. I said, I love Pittsburgh. You're like, you don't know anything. You're foreign.

I don't know anything about America. Pittsburgh's horrible place. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I thought it was good.

It's just a little depressing. Do you see the thing about a lot of those sort of industrial

“kind of towns-- there's not a ton of options for people?”

No. Pittsburgh, more so than the place that you were in. But like, when you get to a place where there's not a lot of options, and then you see real poverty, like, this is poverty with no solutions.

You don't know me? Not Pittsburgh. On a just outside of Pittsburgh. I was more fun with you. No, I still think in West Virginia that were pretty confronting.

And some of it's great. Some of the things from the poverty, drive through a cigarette shop, there's a love to have a drive through a cigarette. Just trying to get the kids to sleep, my wife's upset, because I got her in a foreign cut like, again,

she never signed up. Let's move to America. She was like, we'll go for three months. And it was like, fuck, I'm unemployed. Better quickly, figure out how to be a stand-up comedian.

[LAUGHTER]

“I was like, I went, I got at someone gave me a lift to Pittsburgh.”

This is when I saw the worst stuff.

I got a lift to Pittsburgh, and then I caught the Greyhound from Pittsburgh to Cleveland, to open for Sam Talon, who let me-- unbelievable. Let me open-- here's the best. I've met him in Australia.

So did you go? And, but like, that bus trip from Pittsburgh to Cleveland was-- it was the most upsetting, oh, man. People were spitting on the ground, the bus station. I like an immigrant-- like, an illegal immigrant woman

came and tried to give me a phone. I remember that vividly. Give you a phone. She tried to give me a free phone. She's like, you can have this.

Because she said, you're on benefits. Everyone on benefits gets a free phone. It was some like policy. She just assumed I was on benefits because I was at the Greyhound bus station.

And she was illegal? I don't know if she was illegal, but she had a strong accent and like a weird dress and a baby on her back and a sack full of phones. A sack full of like a sack of phones.

So she was somehow in charge of distributing pre-phones to people.

I'll never truly know what that was about.

Boy, I wouldn't have been fascinated further. There was a-- oh, it's scared. I was just scared. There was-- That's fucked up.

The African guy sitting on the ground. You were a phone. Oh, it was-- and then after that, I sat next to a guy who's having a full psychotic episode.

“I think we followed each other on Instagram now.”

He's got-- What is Instagram? Really? But yeah, and he told me the secrets about Crispin Why. That he was a good man.

The wrestler? He killed his family. Yeah. But this guy tried to tell me only-- he was-- it's like burnt.

He said that he only killed his family, the send them to guard. And you can't blame him, man, for that. Oh, it's like-- All right, this is only a three-hour bus trip. We're going to get through this.

We're going to be fine. Oh, boy. Oh, man. But I did-- I did enjoy my time in that part of the world. Well, you probably enjoyed it now that it's over.

Oh, you survived. You make a good point. Yeah. There's some things you asked me at the time. Yeah.

There's some things that are not fun while they're happening, but are really fun once you got through it. I mean, I remember the people I met along the way. I remember driving to Austin. And it was like spring was like the furthest south we got,

the more lush it became. It was like, fuck, I might be OK. And then someone let me stay in their house. I didn't have a house to stay in, so my-- a podcast, listeners, friend, let us stay in there.

With his family? With my whole family. Let us have sit for them while they were in Japan. Oh, my God. That's crazy.

The whole time it was like, if I don't get-- if I didn't get bus, the mother should now I-- I don't think people should come here and live in their cars with their family. But it does, you know, but that's a fire under your ass.

It worked. Well, that's the thing. It's like, if you're forced into action, yeah. Like, you had no-- not just yourself. Like, you could go, oh, whoa, it was me.

But when you're a father and a husband, you have children. Yeah. And people who do not have children do not understand the drive that it gives you to protect and care for those little people, it's kind of crazy.

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like, I've made men who are really driven and motivated. And they have no kids. But they're like, every day, they're working out. I don't know what the motivation is before I had kids.

My interest is-- What are you doing behind that? They're in a game. They're playing a game. Yeah, they're just playing this game of

accumulate them all stuff. Be able to brag about the most stuff you have. But not much rather wide down. [LAUGHTER] I would rather not do anything about it, choice.

But not really, because you love doing comedy.

I loved doing comedy, but I'd never--

before I had kids was trying to do comedy that people would enjoy. Do you know what I mean?

“I think that is also though, because you were living in Australia,”

and there's limited options. Right. I can't explain-- No, Australian system is very different. It's very--

It's mostly festival driven. It's festival driven. And it's to have much greater extent-- I've thought about this. It's like industry driven.

Like industry. Yeah, we don't have witch industry. Like manages an agent, which is one role in Australia. But they are deciding who's succeeding, and TV people are deciding who's succeeding.

Whereas, like, in America, everybody is on the road. Everybody has one or two openers. And there's a whole lineage of who brought who up in the business. Dan Soda had Nick Mullin, Tim Dylan, and Shane Gillis opened for him, like those were his openers.

to thrive, he just thought they were funny people. And they got to be his openers. And you-- I don't know who you are opening for, but you have people who come up. Well, I didn't get to really do it.

I didn't have it that way. I do it that way, but I didn't have it that way. I didn't really come up with anybody where I opened Freddie. I just thought I had a very weird path to success. You also-- you got to go to LA and just be in the milky--

like, there's a scene there. There's a lot of people. I came out to LA with a job already. OK. I was on a sitcom already.

You started in Boston, though? Yes. Started in Boston, it's very embarrassing how lucky I am. I'm like one of the luckiest people that's ever lived, but it's stumble upon success after success.

So what I was six years in the comedy, I was already on TV. So I was three years in the comedy.

I was basically barely getting paid.

I was barely a professional. Like I was getting some spots and bars and stuff that I was making money, but I was driving limousines. I was doing odd jobs, doing different things. And I was also still teaching at the time.

I was still teaching Taekwondo for the first maybe six months

“or so when I was 21, I think I kept teaching.”

And then I eventually had to quit because I realized I could not commit to doing both things. I don't want to half-ass my students, and I don't want to-- So for the first two, three years of comedy, barely a comedian, just trying to do it, I'm getting some laughs.

Met a manager as an open-micer. And he brought me to New York, and he's still my manager today. Wow, the best. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's total luck.

Total luck. You also are a super handsome guy. I've seen you then. I was boy-pretty. You were like, "Fuck a different person."

This is not worse, he's crazy, but also a lot of those comics who you started with, who maybe took longer with. I'm not saying hideous, but they didn't look. Well, that definitely helped me get on television. It definitely helped me get on television.

So I did the MTV Half-Arcomedy Hour in 1993. I believe it was, a next scene I had a development deal, a next scene I was on a sitcom, and living out here. I mean, that's the first. But do you think there's anyone in America who has a good work ethic

“and is really talented that it doesn't work out for in comedy?”

What does it work out of you? You don't have a health issue. Health issues or a really horrible relationship. Those things could do you. Well, you could have a drug problem.

Yeah, that'll do you. Gamble you money away. Back it do you into. Yeah, there's a bunch of things that can do you in. But it's crazy that there are not a lot of undiscovered geniuses

in America in the same way. Like, people will want to make money off of you if you've got it. Yeah, but there's some people that are just really horrible at marketing, like Brian Holtzman, for instance. Yeah, right.

We had to kind of like force Brian Holtzman into the modern era. Yes.

And he's always been a comics comic, and he's always been a guy

that we would all sit in the back of the room at the store and watch. But he was always getting these terrible spots. And it wasn't until we broke. Because he never went on the road. He never went on and I started out together.

So, at the store, together, at 94, we're both like, I think he came in 93, and I came a year later. And he was working for like Pan Ammo something? He was a dog catcher for a while. Yeah.

“He was a, I think he might have been a meter made.”

Is he there at the moment? I'm in St. Hemian. Yes, he's here all the time. Okay. He lives a figure off the time.

I don't know if he goes back and forth, but he lives out here all the time. Yeah. He's the best. We, I went to church with him. I don't know if I even should tell this story, but we went to church together once.

And it was really lovely. He took me out for breakfast afterwards because he's Catholic. And it was so fun because the priest at the end, like, gave the enhancements. And one of the things, he was like, they're doing a parish, they're doing like, what do you call it?

Like a talent show for everybody. And he's just announcing this to the whole like 300 people and Brian goes, he's goes there every week. And they go, so if anyone's going to skill, if anyone's a juggera, anyone's a comedian, come and do that for the talent show for everybody.

And he gave no impression that he would be doing it. But I love, he's fucking spoon-faced, japs. I mean, he would be terrified and I'd say, if he had brought that, he's the sweetest man and I don't want to give that away. If people don't know it.

He's a gentleman. He's a great guy in real life. He always was. Always was. Like, I'm known for ever.

So he's what I would say is like an undiscovered genius because he was a guy that's just fucking killing it.

But never went on the road.

He only worked the store. I rarely saw him even at like the Lafactor or the improv. I don't know if I could ever recall seeing him at those places. But he had he had to consciously make the decision not to go on the ride. Well, it's hard because it's not offered to you.

You know, it's like, how do you do it? If you just do all your sets at the store, you kind of have to have someone take you

Right.

“So what I would have with me is I mostly did the road around New York and Connecticut.”

So what I moved to New York and I guess a 91-ish. Yeah, so probably 91-ish. And so when I moved there, the real money like to be able to pay bills was in the road. It was not in New York City. New York City did not pay very well.

You can get a lot of spots. But also I was really new, so maybe I couldn't have got a lot of spots. But I could get a lot of spots doing gigs for like John Schueler. He had a whole Connecticut run that you could do. There were great gigs.

It paid like 300 bucks a night or you could do Ganzo at a bunch of New Jersey. And those paid really well. Did this collapse at some point? No, there's still probably some sort of a network of like road shows. There's a Louis has a story on someone's podcast about like crashing his motorcycle and then

like a bubble boosting. I don't know if he was speaking a bubble burst. He was like comedy all of a sudden, clubs started the clubs. Well, there's been ups and downs with that. There was, I came in to comedy in '88 and apparently in '84 and Boston it was even better.

Yeah. Like a peek and I'm like, really? Because when I came in it was amazing. There was clubs everywhere and like, nah, you missed it.

So there's always been this like up and down of clubs closing and club.

But like New York is on the rise right now. There's a bunch of clubs that have opened up in New York. New York's comedy right now is fucking doing great. I hope they can figure it out. What do you mean?

Well, I was in, last time I was in LA, the spirit was, so I was never in LA for it being great. But I've heard all the stories about everyone's score at that back. I think that's this gig and that gig. And then I was everybody has no sense that it's ever going to work for them.

No one's even bothered to, it's like three podcasts in LA now. But people don't want to talk with them. But like here, everybody is so hopeful in Austin. And I can look at like Peyton made it. Like last night I'm looking at that green room.

I'm like, all of these people have money in a touring and they came here and they got to do it. And the hope and the adventure and when I was in LA, everyone was just, you might have picked up that. But it's also like, the comedy store has always been, that seems like it's getting better. Yeah, it is getting better. Well, it's definitely getting better because Rose is running it and she's awesome.

But I think the comedy store has always been a top-down vibe.

And if there was a bunch of like big name, national acts that were really cool and fun to hang out with, then it was a great vibe. And when they're gone, it always felt empty. It always felt weird. This is how it was with me in the '90s when I was there.

And I think that's how it is now. We're all out here now. Yeah. And then people kind of feel abandoned so they feel sad, you know, it feels, and then they get a little mad at you.

You're looking. Me doing it. Austin. And so it develops a stupid rift, which is the dumbest thing ever. We're on the same team and also you can work here too.

Like it's so dumb. Yeah. But the rift is a real thing.

“But it's like you have to be around a bunch of people that are having a good time to have a good”

time. And the rift can be good. The rift can motivate people to have you seen Lambert on the show together? No, what's he doing? He's just gone hard on New York people and Simon Austin's number.

He's trying to, he's doing the same thing they were doing to him. Absolutely. I think New York is fucking great. I think he gets very uncommon. It's great.

There's so many great comics, Norman and Soder and fucking Andrew Sholes and David tells the best live. I don't know. Anyone great commission in New York. I don't see how you could have kids.

A gaffigan raised all his kids there and he's super clean Catholic guy. Yeah. I don't know how he's got some money to make him.

First of all he's got some money.

Money has got to help send him to a nice place to go to school where they're not going to get eaten. I think the trans thing is done in the schools. Yeah. It's dropped off significantly.

I had really, because we were homeschooling and I was just aware because my dad's a teacher and he would say, I don't want to get him.

“But he would report that the numbers were developing and I think as a social phenomenon”

it seems to have like, now everyone just says they have an anxiety disorder. Well, you know when it dropped off, like, noticeably when Elon bought Twitter, would you stop pumping the content? Well, all of a sudden you could say whatever you wanted. Yeah.

And so you could make fun of it now and then people realize, oh, this is a completely falsely propped up narrative. Well, so I mean, do you smoke cigars? I quit all nicotine. You have a drink.

You have alcohol. I have a drink. I get you some alcohol. All right. If I could have a whiskey.

I quit all nicotine. What happened? I just haven't hot palpitations. I was doing it a lot. I had a problem.

I cannot do it a little bit. I see, you'll just like, you'll be backstage, you'll have one cigarette and you'll

Yeah. I can't.

And I never smoke outside of right before a show.

I mean, I, but I'm going to power it to you. I can't do that. I know how to shut things off. And I also regularly, like I realize, like, when I have an issue, like the nicotine pouches, I can just stop them.

I've gone on vacation and just not take them and I'm fine.

“I think, but I think it's my biology now.”

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That's an 111 dollar value at drinkag1.com/showrogan. I was quitting going back when I went back to Australia and I came off nicotine at the same time. I think that was the closest to serious unpleasant. Really?

And I think I ever got through to abusive, but man, there was a lot of shouting at the family. What the fuck are you doing? Put it down. I was not a half. How long did it last?

“It was from month, I was a real bad, that's crazy.”

For me, I don't know what it is man, I could just put it alone, leave it alone and I'm fine. And I monitored myself, I went on vacation for like eight days with the family and I said I had no nicotine pouches, let's see what happens. You were fine?

See if I go crazy. Yeah. I was waiting. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Was it you with the pouches? I loved the pouches. I loved the pouches. I got on the pouches to get off the cigarettes and then I had to go on the cigarettes to get

off the pouches. Then I was having cigarettes and pouches and my hot would start to go and my mood would go way up and way down. Wow. It was great.

I got a lot done. See, I get addicted to things like doing things, like real bad, like I used to get addicted archery, sure, but the thing about archery is you can only do it so much. It's good because it's, you know, my bow is 80 pounds to pull back. Yeah.

And so if I'm pulling it back and I have another one, it's 90. And so when I'm pulling it back, 80 pounds, you can only do that so many times. You know, I could do that maybe a hundred times in a day and my fucking shoulders blown out. If you're hunting done, I mean, you're not shooting very often, but you wouldn't be able

“to get so tired that if you need to switch on.”

No, no, no, no, when you're hunting, first of all, you're jacked up with a adrenaline. Like, you could pull a branch off a fucking tree. You're so jacked up with a adrenaline, you're just trying to stay calm. Like when you're about to pull the bow, the bow comes, bulls back effortlessly. It's like, it's like, you don't even notice that it pulls back so easy.

You're so ramped up. You're not even thinking, how often you're doing that? Bow hunting? Yes. Seriously, only a couple times a year because I'm elk hunting, you know?

And if I get an elk. See, no? Yes. Okay. It's September, September, October.

It's the time. But in Texas, we hump pigs, sometimes we have a lease out here. So we'll go and hunt with a few of my friends from archery country, shout out to Tyler. And my friend Evan from Black Rifle Coffee, we'll go out to pigs. Oh, they're everywhere.

Okay. They're infested. Wild pigs are all over Texas. Thank you. There's millions of them.

Like literally millions of them. Like one time they opened up a highway, like they built this new highway. And the day it opened up, they had like this fucking ridiculous amount of accidents because people were hitting wild pigs. Because there were so many wild pigs out there that they're just crashing into them on the

road. But this new highway? Yeah.

Because the pigs had never seen cars before on this spot because they hadn't finished

the road yet. And then all of a sudden, there's cars everywhere. These wild pigs are just getting fucking sick. But today, why don't they get, because in Australia, when they have a kangaroo problem, and it's similar.

She's got place. Thank you. God bless. They get lingund them from the sky. And if you say do that here, they do that here at a helicopter.

You could do it if you want while you're in town. I'll set it up. You know? All right. I would feel sad.

I would feel guilty. Yeah. This is not a sporting way to stop hunting. Would be the. It's a different kind of hunting.

Yeah. Because it's a necessity hunting. Right. I want to eat what I kill.

Yeah.

“And the thing about these wild pigs is they're gone in down 20, 30, 40 of them in a day.”

Yeah.

Helicopters with machine guns.

There's a bunch of companies that do it. There's this a video of Ted Newjit in this guy named Pigman. Pigman is like a famous bow hunter that lives in Texas. And it's called a pork ellipse now. And they're in a helicopter.

They're in helicopter. Ted Newjit in Pigman in a helicopter. And they gunned down like 240 pigs in a half hour pot, not pot kind of. Yeah. Hunting show.

You'll be a great podcast. Yeah. He's a pig killing. The same as Brian. His name is Brian.

It's Pigman. Pigman. He just kills a lot of wild pigs. But it's a necessity. It's not here.

Look at this.

“But you have to understand how many pigs they have out here.”

And the kind of damage that's Pigman. And the kind of damage that these pigs do to agriculture, they go through fences and they fuck up livestock gets out and there's a lot of shit with this. Yeah. Oh, it's crazy.

Is this the argument for bringing wolves back in? No. No. No, I'm against it. But I don't understand.

What is the most pro? Is there one sensible argument for bringing back in? Ipex Preddit is to, well, there's arguments for it. You could make an argument for it.

The problem is you do not understand.

No one understands what the ultimate result is going to be of introducing predators. There is a very strong reason why they eradicated wolves from the West Coast and from the United States. Because they fucking kill everything. They're super smart, Apex Predators, they work in packs unlike any other animal.

They're very different. And they kill everything. And you can't do shit about them. And they kill people. It's like, in the UK, they got rid of them hundreds of years ago.

Yeah. So it's like, they celebrated it. They're going to win America too. Yeah. I mean, and now these fucking greenies, these softies that really don't understand nature,

want to bring them back. So there's a good argument in some ways that having some predators would help. But the predators were slowly moving their way back into these areas anyway. So they never eradicated them from Canada. So they would come down from Canada and make their way into Minnesota, into Iowa, make

the way into, not Iowa, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana. They had like a small amount of wolves were kind of making their way. Then they reintroduced a bunch of them into Montana in the 1990s to Yellowstone. That changed everything. That changed everything.

It dropped the elk population by down to like 40% of what it used to be. Which many people argue is actually a good thing. Because there was no predators in terms of like, like, there's mountain lions. But mountain lions don't kill that many elk. They'll kill them.

And like a week like families go to Yellowstone. Yeah. So now there's just wolves. Yeah, but the wolves aren't fucking with the people at Yellowstone. They're really are just concentrating on the animals and they've like really knocked down

the elk population substantially. But now they have an open hunting season on wolves in Montana because the numbers got a lot higher than they should be. Right. So now like, I know guys who hunt wolves and they go on wolf, it's very different.

I'm just going to say it sounds more dangerous and not that pleasant than hunting elk. Well, it is dangerous that it is a predator. And if you do get surrounded by them, they decide to eat you and you're at a bullet. You could be fucked. But for the most part, they're very difficult to hunt.

They're very difficult to find. Yeah. They're also very difficult to get in range. They're fucking clever. They're clever.

And once they realize they're being hunted and they want once they realize that people are a problem, they fucking steer way clearer. Like what's the ideological reason for wanting the back just that they, it's good to be a predator. They can nature.

I love it, nature. But focus on the bees, you know? Well, there's people that don't like hunting and for people that don't like hunting, they want nature to balance itself out. So the people that don't like the idea of humans killing and eating animals, they don't

like them going out into the wild and killing wild animals. So they want something else to kill those wild animals. So then they bring in mountain lions or then they bring in wolves. And then they think that nature's going to sort itself out. I don't understand what else to do.

Why is it okay for them to, this is the vegetarian argument that I never understand, is

that a death occurs in nature, animals are eating other animals. Right.

“So if it's wrong to kill any animals, should we intervene, should we kill all the mountains?”

I thought to keep them from killing them. They can't do this was one of my favorite bits that you ever did. Oh, vegan cat. Is it a... No, it was not a box.

No, it was a cat. And it's very sick. Literally, it literally is a true story. Yeah. Like this lady was saying mean things to me on Twitter or Instagram.

And I saw one of the things on her page, on which her page it said #vegancat.

And so they clicked on it.

“It's all cats that look like they've been stuck in the house with a gas leak.”

Well, maybe they got me started searching vegan animals because vegan fox, I definitely read a lot about after that.

Yeah, there's people that have vegan dogs, they feed their dogs, but you're basically...

You can kind of get away with it a little bit with a dog. But cats are what's called Obligate Predators. They only have a plate. Obligated to prey? Yeah.

They only eat meat. That's all the eat. That's it. They're just predators. They're full on murderous machines, like house cats are some of the most murderous

creatures on earth. They kill billions of animals. Yeah, yeah. As soon as you die. Soon as you die.

Yeah. Like these dogs will give you... And a week? I don't know. Just a little bit of stuff.

But cats aren't all starving, they are. If they're starving to death, they're instincts get into the eat you. But cats just start eating you. They're like, oh, look, eyeballs. Hmm.

Well, you get to get. We get to get an animal. You have dogs. Mm-hmm. You have one dog too.

Two dogs. And you don't run the Instagram pages for these animals. Someone's running their family dogs. Oh, family dogs. Really?

Yeah. So we got a little guy named Charlie. Yeah. King Charles, King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Yeah.

“Is the furthest animal away from Wolf that is possible?”

Like, 'cause they all came from wolves. But he's the furthest from Wolf. He has no reason. He's in big. He's adorable.

He feels like we're just weak in the stockings. And I'll think of him.

I always wanted to be a king Charles.

I just give him kisses. He's a sweetie, though. Thank you. That's what they look like. Yeah.

That's what they look like. I mean, come on, look at that face. They're just so sweet. They're so happy to be around you. And they're just so loving.

And they, like, he makes sounds like a person. Like he was doing something. Like he was looking all this water that was coming off of a drain. And I go, hey, stop doing that. I picked up.

He went, "Ah!" He was like, "He's not looking that dog." But they don't, they don't make me feel sad. They're a little dog who will be interesting. Oh, that's it.

That's Charlie. Yeah, that's Charlie. That's Charlie. Yeah, that's Charlie. That's Charlie.

Yeah, that's Charlie. Yeah, that's Charlie. That's Charlie. Yeah, that's Charlie. Yeah, that's Charlie.

It's like it. Right. It's ready to dog.

No, no, no, I know what you mean.

Like a dangerous driver. Right. Yeah. I have one of those stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. It's my favorite. Those two dogs are great. This is not like a pug. They're very active.

They're very, it's like a water dog. It's a fucking dog that's just like a house dog. They're just like a little love machine. Just a little pet. He's a sweet, sweet little guy.

He's the best. He's so nice. He's like so, and he just relentlessly tortures my dog Marshall. The big dog. Yeah.

Who's the most tolerant dog on earth. He just lays there and the dog. The puppy's like, ah, like biting him and biting his ear. He's a year old. Okay.

So I've had him for whatever. Eight months, I guess. Like how many months they give him to you? Three months old. So I'm like that.

How old are puppies when you get him?

“She should be, I think, eight weeks old.”

I think, man. Yeah. So we probably have 10 months. He's fucking adorable. You cannot travel with a dog.

To a string. You have to get him all kinds of job. Shut up, tried. Yeah, he got him big trouble for that, right? I think that was the beginning of the end of that marriage.

I think it was from the moment he said that we had to get married. They were happy until that dog problem. But the guy who. There's a politician who stopped Johnny Depp. Who was like, he came out and said we're going to destroy his dogs.

And then everyone made fun of him in America. But that guy is now doing, he's like. Big and the puppy emergent populist right in Australia of the last six months. And with he got, he wanted to kill Johnny Depp's dogs. Yeah, he's a great spirit.

He was like, I don't care if you are. People magazine's 60est man in the year. Get your dogs out. Oh, why? He was a big deal.

Ah, we have no rabies. We have, we're very precious about the border. That's all we've got. His name's Barnaby Joyce. He is sick.

The man the dogs leave the country within 48 to 50 hours or we've put down. Siding strict quarantine laws designed to protect diseases like rabies. But here's the thing. Just test them.

How much they cost to test a dog on rabies? It's probably pretty quick. Barnaby Joyce drunk. So this is not long after that. And issue with the, yeah, pistol and boot.

Yeah, go Barnaby Joyce drunk. They caught him on the streets of our like of camera, which is where the capital is. And he was just passed out in the street. He's like, there he is.

Down the bottom. Barnaby. Yeah, the bottom one. Yeah. But he's just, he's just lying on the street.

That's, well, was it? It wasn't that long ago. Joyce. Oh, yeah. My name was in the government.

Good. What's wrong? It's the same place to live. I was walking back to my accommodations after parliament rose at 10 p.m. Oh, that's all he was doing.

Just walking back to his accommodation. I do like him. Look, he's just taking a nap. He's just chilling.

Yeah, man. Give the guy a break.

It's kick it with finally.

We were the last country to have like a right wing populist thing happen. You guys had the Trump and then England is having it happen with like in a big way. It's really starting to swing there. It's sort of swinging right now. It's just starting up.

And what's causing that terrorist attack was not good. Yeah. And then also running out of petrol. Really has upset people. We don't have, we don't make our own gas.

We had two refineries. One of them accidentally blew up a week ago. You think it accidentally blew up? I have no comment to make. I wouldn't think so.

“No, I think probably someone seems like a real bad luck.”

Seems like it. I mean, they would have been doing it. Like max capacity. Maybe they did it past when it was safe. But it's not.

I thought I wasn't going to make it out of the country. Because you're out of gas. Flight started to get canceled. Yeah. So I made it.

We'll see if I can get back. And if you can't. Well, I'll just stand on for another couple of months. I'm sorry, honey. Just we've got to last.

There's no choice.

I'm not going to put any work here.

It is so nice getting the door. It is so nice having the club. No, it's like there's four cities in the world where you can do it. I think about this a lot. There's nowhere like in America there's three.

And they'd be London. That's it. That's it. That's it. That there's like.

Multiple rooms with line up shows every night of the week. Right. You can just go and run 10 15 minutes. Yeah. And like at a good room with people and get paid and get paid.

And get paid. Yeah. I mean, you need all of those factors to be able to do it.

“And you also need a lot of comments around you.”

Yes. This is one of the things that we were talking about last night in the green room. Like, you know, me and Ari Irish fears in town. And we're saying, you can't be like the best comic in the world. And just live in a small town.

And, you know, Cincinnati. It's like it doesn't exist by yourself. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist by the in a little town in Arizona. And the precious seems to have driven that comedy club owner right over the edge.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

But that guy was crazy already, right?

I didn't know. I think about it. Yeah. I just want to give the speech. Well, if he's hanging with Stan Hope.

Yeah. Stan Hope tends to collect some people that are on the French. I'm not blaming. But that's a different scene, right? Like, Stan Hope, you know, was just kind of being out there by himself.

And it didn't even have a comedy club for the longest time. Oh, he lived there. It wasn't like there was a whole comedy scene there in bisby. He's like 20,000 people. It's very small.

Yeah. He knows everybody, right? But the awesome thing was very different. Like, we were stuck here. There was not a lot of options.

We could have gone to Houston, could have gone to Dallas, maybe Nashville. No way. Maybe Florida. There was no place else so that we would allow to do comedy. Nashville is, would be the next one.

Yeah. Nashville's got zanies, which is awesome. That's a great club. They have big, they got fear there. They're going to be there.

Nate and Theo both lived there. But I don't know how many sets they're doing in town. Nate is doing fucking stadiums. He's doing his giant places all over the world. And Theo is killing it.

And he's got one of the best podcasts in the world. But they're definitely, they're like, Nashville comics will come in. Who I see around the place we're doing really well. Sure. I'm sure there's a smaller scene.

But in terms of, like, a lot of work. Yeah. Boston's the spot right now. Because there's seven clubs on our street. How long?

That's nuts. Within a block radius. You've got Creek in the cave, which is over on seventh. You've got sunset, which is right next to us. You got black rap.

It's going to set black rap. You've got the velveter room. Yes. I'm going to count Shakespeare's next door. Yeah.

Oh, that. They do comedy.

“But if you want to have the velveter room.”

That place has been around forever. And is the gay cabaret next door. I don't think it's express the gay. I just call it a gay guy. You like going in there?

I went there. One evening. I was having a full mental breakdown. I don't know why. Just a classic, you know, out of nowhere.

Oh, you know, the kids had started pressure. Maybe the act wasn't working. Maybe I've been on the road. I don't know. And I was down.

I was depressed. And I wandered into them doing there. The Esther's folly's shot. I just set up the back and I had a pinky collider. And they were all like there was a magician.

There was some mess. It's a very camp magician. And then they're seeing like campy showtunes about the Supreme Court or something. Like they're still doing SNL style sketches. And it was like, you know, it was dominant.

It was hokey. But it made me so happy. Oh, that's nice. Just like have. I don't have any good time.

Razzled dazzle. Smiling. There was no bitterness. Yeah. And it made me want to fix my act.

So that I wasn't. You know, like sometimes I feel like get up there. And I'm just like screaming. And I look unpleasant. People like.

You know, people are show. Yeah. You know, I don't think you look unpleasant. You put yourself very subconscious. No.

Sometimes I did the creek in the cave last night. And I did a lot of screaming into. Did your best. I was like, yeah.

Fucking great. Great spot.

Freaking the cave is a great club.

It's a fun place when it's packed. It's rocking. And, you know, it's a lot of good comedy coming out of that. I mean, that's for sure. Because I'm dispatched.

And you look as on the app again. You look as finally. Everybody that I talk to, all my friends from New York. Well, it's all say that there's a lot of clubs opening. There's a lot going on.

It's. It's. It's. It's.

“Didn't they just open up, uh, and was it an improv in Brooklyn?”

Did they open up an improv in Brooklyn? I know this top secret comedy has just, like a London club has just moved there. Interesting. I don't know how it's going.

But they're doing like a free model. They're trying to do. They were trying to do a UCB in Austin. I don't know if that's still happening. The problem with UCB is UCB in LA didn't pay at all.

Is this improv? No. I'll pray for this. It's okay. They have some improv.

But they do. I said that. They do stand up. Okay. Yeah.

But they don't pay you. They don't pay? No, which is crazy.

There was a history of that at the store.

Sure. That was the, there was like this big protest. What was he saying? Improb Brooklyn. There you go.

There's a strong zoom. Yeah. I think Joey said he was going there. It's, uh, it's a completely new place. All right.

This, I don't know if he's completely right. But this is what I'm saying. It's like it's poppin. Some is coming back. Some improv's a black and some are not.

Why? Like some improv's around the country. I like just black lines. If I look at the line. I'm not saying here.

I'm not saying here. But like you're in a racist form. In Cleveland. The improv is just a black club. I've done the improv in Cleveland.

I think. It's a black club. No negativity. I like, I like playing black clubs. So it's Cleveland is, that's one.

It's close to Kentucky, right? Am I getting this right? Maybe it's Pittsburgh. No Pittsburgh's not. I've been that place.

No, I've done that one as well. I'm coming Pittsburgh. I've been up there as well. I'm telling, well, hilarious was the non-racially. Go back to that website real quick.

Look at all the different ones. Wow. There's not one in Cleveland. There's a ton of them. Is one of those fake, clear, maybe shut down.

So the other, there's a club. I think that's one of those fake, clear, maybe shut down. So the other, there's a club. There's a club in Cleveland. There is a club in Cleveland that I went to way back in the day.

But it's really, you land in Kentucky. And then you drive to Cleveland. What? Yeah. No Cincinnati.

Oh, is this Cincinnati? Yeah, that makes most sense. Okay, that's it. You're right. You're driving up.

Ohio is more built. Sorry, Ohio. Sorry, Ohio. I don't know. Three huge cities.

They got that chili that everybody loves. Great. Columbus. Cincinnati has the most beautiful skyline.

“You have to do the funny bone, Columbus?”

Yes. Welcome, great club. The balcony? Oh, it was very nice. Is there a balcony?

I'm pretty, yes. Columbus, funny one. I'm going to get this right. This is definitely a change since you've been there last. Is it new one?

No. Oh, they just renovated the whole room. Oh, I love having the balcony. They must have had to add seats. Just killing it.

Everywhere that has a balcony is my favorite. But once you have a place that's a club that gets good acts in every weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Hold on. I want to see Eddie Griffin at the Cleveland Improv. Come on. Maybe it closed. This is 2020.

Oh, six years ago. I don't know. It's like, well, I typed in Cleveland Improv. So who's that? Loanels there?

And Tony Baker was there. I will not be besmirched for making a very genuine observation. But how black the Cleveland Improv was. That's hilarious. Because I tried to get on.

I was trying to do black rooms when I got to, I got to open for finesse.

And this Mitchell, that was the first black room I got to play.

Nice. I've slowed down.

“There's not heaps of black rooms in Austin.”

I should go over the Houston sometimes. Yeah. Where the black rooms in Austin? I think the mothership. Probably.

Probably. Yeah. Yeah. I still think Chuck with Sunday's could work. At the mothership.

I can't run it. You could. That would be fun. I feel like you just have shows. I think themes are retarded.

They try to do an Italian theme at the Comedy Store for a while. Like, night of a thousand ghettos. I think they're called it. And I did it. And I was like, what am I doing?

I'm on this show with all these other Italians just because they're Italian. There is something different about a black audience. Yeah. That's a different school to it. I found.

It's a different skill set. And they won't tolerate nonsense. They won't tolerate all this like what else? What else? No, no, no, no, no.

They're not here for that. Which I think is good. You kind of even make fun of gay. You can't mention gay stuff at all. Really?

Oh, man. I had a transbit. Just people were not happy to hear the little ways doing about that. Now you bring that up. We're at here to have a nice night.

It was like on a dime it turned really. Yeah. And then people told me afterwards that I don't want to hear about that. I don't want to hear that word from you. Really?

Interesting. It was fun. If I felt very alive when it was gone well. And also black people giving you a compliment. Just an Aussie boy coming off stage.

You got a good stage presence. It's like, oh fuck. Thank you so much. That's awesome. Hi.

Black people. That was very eye-opening when I came to America. You don't have a lot of that in Australia. We have Africans and we have Aboriginal people. But we have no.

If you were a cool coat in Australia, no one will tell you about it. There will be no one to say that. Yeah, there's a very big difference in African Americans. Yeah. And black people worldwide.

Like African Americans are responsible for so much of the culture, music, comedy. Yeah. There's like so much of an impact that African Americans have had on the world. Think about just hip-hop music. Yeah.

Right? So hip-hop music doesn't even exist until I was in middle school. Like, light 70s? Yeah. So I was in middle school.

I went to high school in '81.

“When was sugar-hill gangs hip-hop, a hippy-dee-dee-de-hyp-hop?”

What was that song called? Rappers Delight. Yeah. So that song came out when I was, I think I was 13. I think I was 13.

I think I was in middle. 1979 is when I came here. Yeah. They formed. That makes sense.

So when I was in, when I first moved to Boston, my family didn't have much money. We lived in a place called Jamaica Plane. And it's since been kind of gentrified, but back then it was not. It was the first time I'd ever been around scary kids. Yeah.

Like violent, delinquent kids who had all had sex. I had not had sex. All these kids. They're like, you don't even know where I'm pussy is, do you? I'm like, "It's down there."

Like you probably think you go right into it, right? You got to go up. I'm like, "Okay. I don't fucking know."

I never really kissed a girl.

I was like, "What the fuck are you guys talking about?" But they were like lighten fires, doing crazy shit. Like they were doing a blink wind. That's stealing things. That was great in entering.

Yeah. And so I went to this high school or middle school rather. And this middle school was in a poor neighborhood.

“And I remember there was a kid that was in my class.”

I was 13. He was 17 years old. And he kept failing. He kept failing. He'd coming back.

He'd come back for a couple weeks or two and then he'd quit. And I remember seeing him at the beginning of the school year. And I go, "I can't believe he's 17." And he's in class with me. This is nuts.

And then I was filled with the sense of dread for him, for his future. Like this fucking guy's never going to graduate middle school. So he's never going to go to high school. He's fucking 17. Like, "Well, they even allow you to go to high school every 21."

Like, "What year do they say? You can't come here anymore. You failed nine years in a row." Some point that was that kind of kid. Yeah.

It was that kind of kids. And then there was like kids making out in class. I remember this Puerto Rican girls. I asked a question to the teacher. She said, "If I'm making out with a guy,

and he's breathing into my mouth, and I'm breathing into his, can we stay alive like that?" [laughter] And you?

I know. No, no. It's carbon dioxide.

I never forgot that question.

Can we need the fresh oxygen in that? It was the craziest question. She was like, "Can we breathe each other's air and not open our mouths?" And I was like, "What are you doing?"

You fucking dirty freak. So a lot of girls dropped out while it was there because they got pregnant. Sure. It was dangerous.

Why were you before then though? Were you in a middle class place before then? Yeah, it was in Florida. It was in Gainesville, Florida, which was like, "Way, safer."

It was pretty cool. You may have moved around more than anyone I had. No. I moved around a lot. So I lived in New Jersey until I was seven.

And then lived in San Francisco from seven to 11. And then lived in Florida from 11 to 13. And Boston from 13 to 24. Do you, I mean, because you're now, your kids growing up in there in LA and then they're here.

Mm-hmm. Do you think, I worry about my kids because I don't think they've ever been in the same house for more than one year. Like I have a seven year old daughter.

She's been seven houses now. Uh, 'cause we've had to move a lot. And I remember what impact that is making. Well, as long as they're young,

“I honestly think it has a positive effect.”

Okay. This is my take on what it did for me. Um, I was forced to form my own opinions. Instead of adopting the opinions of a group of people that were around me,

because I'd never had a consistent group of people

that were around me. Yeah. I met a bunch of new people. Everywhere I went. And I had new friends.

Everywhere I went. And completely new environments. Everywhere I went. So I went from San Francisco in the 1970s. Right into Florida.

And Florida was so backwards in terms of their mentality and comparison to San Francisco. San Francisco. We lived in hippieville. It was all like anti-war people.

And San Francisco in the 1970s. And so then moved to Florida. And it was like, I had this friend. His name was Candy. His last name was Candito.

Everybody called him Candy.

And I remember I'm slamming a newspaper on the table.

And he was like, these fags want to marry. This is crazy. They're going to let fagots marry each other. And I remember thinking, like, what do you care? Because I lived in San Francisco.

We're surrounded by gay people. Yeah. Our neighbors were gay. My aunt used to smoke pot with them. And they don't get naked and play bongo drums.

Because like, she felt comfortable being naked around these guys who had no idea that they should run it in now. I would say I haven't seen San Francisco. But that's not. It's not the gaze that caused San Francisco to go down the way it is.

It's this crazy progressive politics. We're allowed people to camp on the streets. I just went to a diner and I saw a man who's wearing assless chips. Sitting on that upset me. Apparently, if you're gay, it would be a good spot.

“The public nudity is you have to cover the Urethra.”

But if you cover the Urethra, everything else is fine.

Oh, so you just like put a piece of tape over the hole. Luckily, I over the japan. Maybe you kind of call it them. You can. You just did.

No, but that's it. So that would that help you become more because you have to like a weirdly independent mentality. That's why. Yeah. So that I think going to a bunch of different places and seeing that, oh,

people think completely differently over here than they think over here. This is weird. You know, I remember when I lived in Florida, I had to ask my mother what the end word meant. Because I heard it at school.

And she got upset with me. She goes, you know what it means. I go, I don't. I don't what it means. And she's like, it's a bad word for black people.

I was like, whoa, really? Like it made no sense to me. Because the formative years I think were really important. And I think 7 to 11 and San Francisco was really important for me. Because in a way, at least for me,

it was a very much a utopian city. It was like very open minded. It was very peaceful.

“There was very little crime like real crime.”

It was beautiful place. It was gorgeous. It was gorgeous. I go fishing. I had this got there was like this community center.

And this guy named Cliff would take us fishing. It was really cool. Like there was a lot of like good things about San Francisco back then. And it was a lot of artists. And it was a lot of like, it was a cool vibe.

You know, it was a very open minded vibe that was a lot of it was centered around the anti-war movement and peace. You know, there was a lot. It was like, it was a different kind of. And they were sort of just like just getting over the psychedelic wave of the 1960s. Right. So this is like, they're still in that mode. It was still like an artist driven.

Yeah, a lot of open pot smoking. It was a lot of like, it just hippies. But in the best way. It wasn't camping on the streets. It wasn't, there was no fentanyl back then.

No, and there's no homelessness. Like homelessness was super, super rare.

Yeah. Like in the 1970s, like when I was a kid, I never saw people camped out in the street.

You never saw any of that. You occasionally saw a bum. And it was usually some poor fuckers. It's like a drunk guy, right? It was lost his way. Listen, if you look crazy on the waterfront whenever there is a like a depiction of.

Like whenever they're doing vagrants in the 50s and 60s, it's like a drunk guy. It's not something around. Like in Rambo, he just wants a sandwich and they chase him out of town. Right. And then, you know, it's Trump.

But now there's like, they're everywhere. It's like kung fu skeletons moving around the plot. Like what is the end point of that? No one's running on that. I remember Trump talked about a little bit the need to have the silence again.

Because they closed the silence. Yes. I mean, there are more therapists now than there ever were before. But they're helping like corporate people. They're not helping schizophrenia with that at home.

At some point, you saw Trump bring the army in to places like Portland with a national guard to clear it out.

“And I think people were quietly kind of pleased that that was happening.”

There was people pushed back. Is that why they cleared it out? There is a homeless situation. It was the homelessness. I thought it was protests.

No, I think that was, I think that in Washington as well. I think they came into Washington as well. We were homeless people. It was crime as well. Yeah.

Like Washington was like crazy with crime. And they were all kind of happy about it. The while the mayor of DC was happy. Yeah. Trump brought in the national guard.

But this is, it's not a nice. You can't lose the downtown across America. You know how bad LA's got, right? Uh, yeah. LA's.

Do you know how big skit-skit rose to you? I, uh, what do you mean, how many people? How many blocks? I've no idea. Take yes.

Two. Fifty. Well, that's too many blocks. Five zero. That's, that's not a reasonable five zero.

Just completely claimed by homeless zombies. Oh, I have bigger than the blocks. Something about the way. Big is fuck. I stayed away from it.

It's huge. I went to the Hollywood Hills in Melbourne and nice time. Downtown is nuts. Downtown LA is the only downtown of any major city that sucks.

No, it's a great New York is incredible. Right.

“Downtown San Francisco is fucked with homeless people.”

Yeah. But it's still. You got grassroots. Downtown LA is a ghost town. I said, poor.

It's weird. It's so beautiful. Downtown. But then you will turn down the street. And it's terrible.

Fifty to fifty four. Oh, it's growing. Skid Row and Los Angeles officially known as central city east. Covers approximately. Fifty to fifty four blocks.

Fifteen thousand. Yeah. They don't know how many people are there. There's just wild guesses in terms of what the population's homeless people are.

Even in terms of the population in the entire city. The high numbers over a hundred thousand in the city. It's crazy. Look how big it is. All that whole area is completely lost.

It was a row. That's the same ones. It was. It was back in like the 1960s. I think it's.

There's a map or something they've drawn on a picture there. I think it's been that way for a long time. Look at this proposed area affordable housing. Affordable housing is just a joke.

It's not what the problem is.

They're all drug addicts. They're drug addicts. And mentally ill. Yeah, but what do you do there? Well, you can't let it get that bad first of all.

And if you do let it get that bad, you got to treat it like it's a catastrophic failure. And throw as much resources as possible at it. Yeah. But the problem is these people are incentivized to keep the problem going.

“Because that's how they make their living.”

Absolutely. But they don't have any motivation whatsoever to fix it. Yeah. Because if the homeless population drops down to like a very small number. And then they don't need all these people that are making half a million dollars a year

on the homeless commission. It's completely grifting. I don't have a, it's not my country. I don't have any big problem with Gavin use some, you know, I don't understand how L.A. has all every story that comes out of California seems to be.

Okay. So here it says between nineteen to sixty and nineteen seventy five. Fifty percent of the housing in Skid Row was demolished. Reducing the total number of units from 15,000 to seven thousand five hundred and displaced in thousands of poor residents with nowhere else to go over the street.

While Skid Row was never a wealthy neighborhood.

It's current status as the homeless capital of America as the result of decades of policy choices, which is simultaneously encourages destruction of existing affordable. See, this is, by the way, this is a very progressive perspective. Yeah. The real perspective.

The real perspective is that what they use Skid Row for was when they would find vagrants in Beverly Hills and vagrants in Hollywood, they would move them to Skid Row and then they would kind of contain them in that area. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jumping. So encourage a concentration camp.

Yeah. We're homeless. We're homeless. Medical patients. All together.

See, this is a very progressive perspective. Homeless medical patients. How about vagrants who are drug addicts? You can call them medical patients. Like you're just being kind.

This is just too charitable from the across the region. So they would dump them there and then they also had like food kitchens there and stuff like that. So they had an incentive to stay, but they kept them there. And so then it kept growing because the homeless problem keeps growing.

But it's psychosis in drugs. That's the ultimate drug. Yes. Drugs are the big one. Yeah.

And drugs are the drug use in Skid Row is probably 100%. It sounds like regular homeless people. I was in Portland and I saw, I was walking to the train station through the downtown. Checked no one told me not to do it. And all these very sad homeless people.

And then one guy with a big smile. It was so happy. I told you I was frightened. Well, no. It's the first time I saw crack being smoked.

Oh, yeah. There's a great smell. It's more kind of sweet. Yeah. It's more like sweet like a rotten apple.

That's how it filled with the time. I don't know if that was the cracker. I mean, he was smoking crack and I could smell that. But he was so happy and I didn't want to take his crack away.

“You know, it's like, he's the only thing you've really got going for you today.”

Yeah. I think crack. Obviously we should take it. Not good for you, but probably better for you than fentanyl. It's all.

I think with crack, you're active. Crack makes you go do a bunch of stuff. This is, yeah. This is weird seeing heroin people for the first time. Because they're not like a threat.

Australia is still a very meth country. We're like, oh, meth is a problem. It's a lot of like skinny shirtless men on the bus. Angry. We had a head teaching back.

So it's still very messy. But meth doesn't seem to be as big here now. It's big in certain communities. Meth is still big. It's like, you know, what you've got in the,

the homeless situation in Skid Row

wasn't always fentanyl and heroin.

I mean, at one point in time it was meth. You know, it's a gang of different things. I'm sure there's people there that are doing what I mean. Do you just start killing drug deal? Do you do like in Singapore?

Do you just have a zero tolerance policy? Like I don't know long term what the answer is. Because I look, you could do it that way. But it would be very inhumane. And it would also set a precedent for how you treat a bunch of other situations.

That's not good. It's dangerous.

“The communists when they had an opium problem in China.”

They just put them in the military.

They'd like give people a new sense of purpose. You've got a uniform now. We're going to blame someone else for the problem. This is Western imperialism did this to you. Yeah.

And that seemed to help. The opium problem in China anymore. Also, I don't know how official that is and how many people they did just kill. Because it's the communist government. Yeah.

They're allowed to. They lie. They might lie. They definitely lie. Although last time I was, a couple months ago, I was here.

And Kurt Metzker was telling me the Tiananmen Square was not all that bad. Yeah. I did not do anything. I didn't do it. Nothing.

From everything he says from a short Google search, I can agree with it. But I'm sure if I dug down I'd have more questions. I haven't seen him actually since I go back. Is he still here? Oh, yeah.

I've seen him fucking mine. He's great. Most people are still here. He's the best. But he, you can't talk conspiracies with him.

Because it'll just chain them. Yeah. One after another after another. And then three minutes in. You forgot what you're even talking about.

He's moved on to some scandal in the 1970s with call boys and congress. Oh, you expect him about Reagan? Yeah. What is it called the Franklin? This tape.

The son was talking to me about Franklin scandal. Franklin scandal. The son was bringing that up last night. He's reading the book on it. I want to think that Reagan was a good guy.

That only gets Reagan. I think it's whoever's in his cabinet. I mean, it was, well, he's dead. He can't. He was saying things about Reagan getting pigged.

What? Who was saying that? Kurt was talking about that. There was a tape somewhere of Reagan getting tagged. I don't want to know that.

These guys don't even think the Artemis flight went past the moon. They did it. Kurt thinks there's a secret space program. And that this space program is bullshit. There's a real space program.

They're using this space program to. Office gate. It just seems very complicated. I might be saying it incorrectly. He knows a lot of things.

He does. He does. And then when I begin often, it seems true. A lot of it is true.

“But also, I don't, I think the government is incompetent everywhere.”

And if they were able to get that one thing of. You know, building a fake space program to conceal it. No, it seems unlikely. Yeah. Well, do you know how much money you'd have to have to run two space programs?

One real one and one fake one. That's crazy. Just a real one. Cost so much. Well, the Nazi one was real.

Yeah. Yeah. That's come in. Everyone seems. Some people are still not aware of it.

I've had conversations with people where they don't want to admit it. Where they can't believe it. Do you know NASA was run by Nazis? Yeah. He told me about Werner Von Braun.

And they did want to, like, there's a lot of people that are like, NASA fanboys. And these NASA fanboys don't want to believe that NASA was run by Literal Nazis. Yeah.

I mean, not necessarily like, they were scientific Nazis. They were Nazis. Yeah. Werner Von Braun used to hang the lowest, the five slowest Jews. I didn't know that.

His rocket factory in Berlin. The Simon Weasendthall Center said that if he was alive today, they would have prosecuted him for crimes against humanity.

“I mean, do you think that story got out when he was at NASA?”

Everyone worked on that. They hit it well. There was no freedom of information act for releases. Yeah. There was no internet.

When Operation Paperclip was first initiated, they got, I don't know what the number

is of Nazi scientists. But it was more than a thousand. Yeah. How many Nazi scientists put this into our wonderful ad sponsor policy?

Our AI sponsored. It gives me all my information. How many Nazi scientists were brought over by the United States for Operation Paperclip? It's, I don't know, that there's an official number.

This is what led me down my research like 10 years ago. Was this exact question? Well, let's see what Proplexity has to say. I'm guessing. I'm going to guess about 1500.

Also, as I'm looking this up, I will note that the supposedly split up evenly between the Soviets. That's true. Yeah, the Soviets took a bunch of them as well. I didn't know they did it up.

Yeah. I've read a book about it. Long time ago. I just started getting into the Soviet Space Program. I think.

Oh, yeah. Is it the Venus missions? I'm getting that right with it. Oh, yeah. They got all that thing on Venus and took pictures.

Yeah. It was so hot that everything would like. 1600. Well, typically state that about 1600 German scientists, engineers and technicians, were brought to the United States under Operation Paperclip.

So I was pretty close. To real back, though. I was trying to dig through this article as you guys are talking. Thought Nixon getting pegged or Reagan. Yeah.

The plot to out Reagan. Yeah. Group of Republicans tried to stymie what they alleged was in the farthest homosexual network within the campaign of their own party standard bearer. This is what I mean.

He says something that sounds crazy.

You see what the answer is.

But during it, it says like, while he was trying to pick a vice president,

We had a welcome.

It says there's a vice president.

But someone had a tape of an orgy. Yeah. No. Well, didn't Reagan, Reagan frequented Bohemian Grove. Isn't that correct?

Uh, I believe he did. Everybody. Yeah, a lot of people did. Right. But Reagan did.

“But you remember what Nixon said about Bohemian Grove?”

Well, it's a place I can't tell you. Well, I'm proud of you. Well, I've ever seen. You've got to act John's talking about it? Yes.

Well, Alex Jones went. Yeah. Alex Jones told me. I grabbed him. I was just sitting.

I was just sitting. I just saw homosexual act with Reagan. Okay. It was not until a boozy lunch with the man claiming to have been a long time Reagan associate. However, the best found would he believed to be the smoking gun proving that Reagan

was controlled by homosexuals. Bill, you don't understand the problem the man told best. I once engaged in a homosexual act with Reagan. It's a different time. Yes.

I don't know. These are the up until now. The start of the call. These are rumors. Right.

I don't know that this video ever came out. But there's interest. It's very long article about it. And political. Yeah.

Interesting. I was trying to find an answer. And I didn't really get to this. This is a different time period in life, too, that I don't. I was in a life war.

Right. Wow. I don't believe it. I do. I love Reagan.

I do, too. I love him, too.

“But I think there's a lot of those guys that are like staunchly conservative and very buttoned down”

that are that way for reason. And one of the reasons is they're trying to hide the fact that they're gay.

I never understand this thought.

Because there are lots where I'm from. And Seth is like conservative, party, definitely gay guys. But like so, like everybody knows. Everybody's aware. But they don't want it coming out.

They never acknowledge. But like it just seems so strange. You would want to not have a secret. If you're a politician. Because otherwise people just get you to do with a one.

Yeah, but they have a secret. But then they want to be politicians. And then they just deal with all the people that know their secrets. And then they make deals. But like it like there's how do you stay in business?

I wouldn't even say there are people in the United States Congress and Senate who are conservative. So we all go, yeah, that guy's gay. 100%. Everybody know it. So yeah.

So I ask for the accuracy of this article. And perplexity gave me a summary. I guess that makes more sense than trying to make sense of a 20 page article in two minutes. Hmm. Okay.

This comes from factual. Grounding and sources. One key factual about scroll up a little bit. On the on the key factual backbone. The article lines up with other publicly documented material.

A curchick refers repeatedly to memos. And notes from the Washington Post editor Ben Bradley's papers. Including summaries by reporters Scott Armstrong and Ted Gup. These papers are held in institutional archives. And have been referenced in other discussions of secret city.

The 1967 homosexual ring allegations connected to Reagan Sacramento staff. And Jack camps is independently attested in contemporary press accounts. Including reporting that Reagan security chief investigated alleged homosexual activity. And that calmness drew Pearson raised these charges at the time.

So here's the thing about gay.

There's always a certain amount of gay people in a population. And then it's whether or not the culture accepts them. Yes. There's always a certain percentage. There's yes.

People who are attracted. Yeah. No matter what you do. There's a certain percentage. And so if you've got enough people in Congress and enough people in the Senate.

Enough people just in government in general. Yeah. You're going to have an equivalent percentage of people that are gay. And if you are a person who wants to get to the top of the charts.

“Like here's the thing that you don't think of.”

What is you think Hollywood is very open. Very non-homophobic. In fact, celebrates diversity and celebrates LGBTQ people, right? Yeah. But not.

So here's the thing. One thing you can't be is an openly gay person and being a male lead in films. I mean, that would make sense as to why people keep that quiet. I'm trying to give one. You can't.

But you're an act. No, you're right. That has to be changed. You can pretend to be aware of. But you can't pretend to be straight.

You can't pretend to be straight. Yeah, they won't allow you. So if you're gay, you have to pretend. Yeah. You have to pretend you're not gay.

Because you can't act in a movie where we know you're gay and you pretend to be straight. We won't buy it. But whenever there is a movie where there is gay person, they get it obviously straight. Like in milk. Then I get a gay guy.

Right. That's right. They get a straight guy to be gay. One example. Yeah.

He was never a movie leading men.

One example. I know, but he's a TV guy. But then people make applications. Also, it's like he's got a, it's a cartoon character. Yeah.

Like that. How I met your mother. That's a cartoon character. Yeah. Like straight guy.

Like you don't believe it at all. Like first of all, he's not attractive. Like in that way, he's not masculine. And the fact that he gets all these hot girls. Like some, none of it makes any sense.

You see gong. It's just writing. Yeah. He, way, he's playing this. Oh, that was great.

He was excellent. It was fucking awesome. I really, it helped me work through a lot of trauma with women. Whoa. Bro, that movie was crazy.

But the point is, like, you can't be an openly gay guy and be a movie star. Yes. Because you won't be able to have a romantic stage. Try to take a one on screen, rather. There's not one.

There's, I know a bunch of closet in ones. Yes. Yes. There's no openly gay action movie star. There were, actually, there would be none.

It's done. There's stars who played gay people. Played gay people. You know, like, what's his face? James Bond.

English guy. Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. It's the middle. Yeah. He plays a gay guy and knives out, but he's not like making out with anybody. He just lives with a guy.

I never, I never watched knives out because I was so angry at the second star.

The second star was movie. I loved it. It's the same director. Like, I was just, and I loved Lupa.

“I thought Lupa was, I think I have a daughter too, everyone.”

I was fucking hated that movie. I was one of those guys. It was like, which one was that? What was it called? Oh, man.

It was not force awakens. It was the one that came after that. It was, um, what year is this? Oh, 2017. I'm gonna love the buzz one day.

You know what you think, though, that I didn't watch any of the new ones. But don't you think, though, that when you were dealing, if you're dealing with a star wars, those franchise movies, you're dealing with, and there's no way they just give you cart blanche.

There's no way they just let you write a script, let you produce it, let you put it together, let you direct it the way you want. They haven't seen amounts of it. No, this one was so stylistically strange. Such a departure.

He was making a guy walker. Rises skywalker is, yeah, maybe it's that one. Yeah. Is that it? Does anybody really give a shit about these new Star Wars movies?

Uh, not anymore. But it was, you know, it was exciting. When George Lucas was doing it, at least he was like, we're gonna have a Jew alien and a Korean aliens. And it's about trade wars.

And he was like, they did that episode one. Oh, man, episode one is a nightmare if you go back on what you ever said one. Which one's episode one? And one is like little Anakin and the pod racing.

“George, I think he's like a hugely troubled 1999.”

He's just making an app at why the whole time. But I mean, it all has to end.

I think it's finally winding down.

Like, the Marvel Cinematic Universe seems to be coming to a quarter. Maybe I'm going to fuck back up. No, no, Marvel's got to come back up. But Star Wars, they woke up. They fucked it up.

Yeah. They made it all like this stupid woke message. That was the woke one. That was the one where it was like. It was there were ladies who couldn't do anything wrong and all the men.

And the ladies generals and the men are all terrified of them. Yeah. So save it. This is nonsense. It's not time.

But these woke messages just destroy the actual film. Like, I'm what we were talking about this the other day. That a feminist show that no one thinks of as a feminist show is how is game thrones. Like, is she tensing to her? No, it's a completely feminist show.

Women are all badasses. Yes. Every woman, Arya Stark, badass. Daenerys Targaryen, badass. Cersei Lannister, badass.

Yeah. The Brianna of Tarth, badass. Yeah. Kills are almost kills the hound. Yeah.

They're all women. Yeah. The women run everything. Their beasts. Sansa Stark, badass.

And a lot of the men that N.C. thinks coming that it no. It's getting their heads chopped off. Yeah. They're retarded. The women keep the fucking civilization together.

And they're the most dominant forces in the show. Yes. Yeah. Sometimes they're lying like that nasty prostitute who hurt that midget man. Yeah, she but she was unfortunate in her choices.

“You think the Marvel thing is going to, it, I think at some point.”

They're going to ramp it back up. They have a new one. They brought back the Russo brothers. They're bringing in Doom. They're bringing in Doom.

Dr. Doom's coming. Isn't that just, isn't fucking Robert Downed Jr playing Doom as well? How does he do that? That way does he see the movie, man? No, no, no, no, no.

How is he fucking Iron Man and Doom? Well, they both have Iron. No. You're like, you guy. I know Robert Downed Jr's great.

You don't need to kill Iron Man. Bring Iron Man back. Don't you have a multi-versy. Can't you pull him back and put him into this current timeline?

I'm looking forward to it.

“I don't like when you have a whole, like, universe.”

And you have one guy playing two characters in the universe. It's much like love Robert Downed Jr. This is a shit out of me. As a comic book fan. I've already had that, though.

Chris Evans is in Fantastic Four and he's Captain America. Bozy in Fantastic Four. The first Fantastic Four. No, they've been like four or five Fantastic Four. Four, three.

Really? They've been so many Finches. You're right.

I never even remembered that.

They can never get that one working. Who does he play? That's sort of the joke in the Spider-Man movie. He's the multiverse one. Because like, they bring them all back in the same fucking movie.

And it's all confusing. Yeah. They bring all the bad guys back Jamie Foxx's in the new Spider-Man. And like he was a devsold movie. Do you think they'll be post-work at this point?

I've got to watch movies for the first time on the plane of it. They'd have to lose five in a row. They're fucking money. I'd stand there and have to start to come back. Did you see Bagonia?

No. I was Gustave was in that. And Emma was the guy who made the lobster. But that was, there were problems with it. But it was like a pointedly, like, a post in the same vein of, like, white lotus.

“Oh, car. I think, yeah, Hollywood is trying to make self-consciously post-work movies.”

I got really annoyed by it. And I thought some of it was cheap. But like, I liked what they were going for. Yeah, it's fun. I thought the ending was.

Fun spoiler alert. I wouldn't want to spoil nothing. I want to spoil nothing.

But I would never have seen it if I wasn't on a flight watching 57 movies.

American fiction was like a post-work movie. They're like, at the moment on Delta flights. There are American fiction. American fiction is a book about a, it's a black author who doesn't want to be considered a black author.

He just wants to be an author. He's sick of, and then he keeps seeing all these, like, terrible black books full of stereotypes that white liberals adore. So he writes a fake book called My Pathology. And I think he later changes it to fuck.

He's just trying to, like, fuck with people. I'll just write the blackest, dumbest book. Great. So the white, and then white liberals do love it. And it was good.

It was, like, but it's, like, pointedly, like mainstream and indie. You know, big studios are trying to make. They try to find some continuity from being woke to now. Is this, that's box office business? This is a mainstream film.

They'll look as independent. They want an independent spirit award. Okay. But Begonia wasn't. Uh, but what other people would it, was it called again?

The one you were just talking about? Begonia. No, the other one. Which one? American fiction?

Yeah. So American fiction's independent. If that, you might, I didn't know if it was independent. I looked it up, it made, like, tens of millions of dollars. Yeah, but sometimes independent films.

That catch on make good money. Not that. That was the same as on a make a limited theatrical release. Okay. So they put, put it with Amazon.

That's, I know, it's slightly, I don't know. I would call that as a big studio. No, if you started it by yourself. You started it by yourself, and then you distributed to Amazon. But who paid for it?

Who was the, somebody probably financed it? The director was, we see the onion guy.

Ten million dollar budget.

“So the things if you want to do something right, you kind of have to do it that way now.”

Like, make it yourself and then bring it as a fully completed project. That way, you don't have a bunch of people like the Star Wars guy in your ear telling you what to do and how to direct it. Kind of, I recorded a comedy special years ago for Australia. Yeah. And I thought I would just do it on my own, and then I would sell it to the network.

How'd that go? They said we like it. This is one of the most embarrassing fun calls over here. They said that we like it. It's very white.

It's very mouth. Yeah, it's me. It's just me. And he, they said, can you go out in five, like, find five or six diverse comedians? And record this specials as well.

And then we could buy all six of them. As I was like, fuck, I put it on YouTube. I could, I could. But that was the real request was, would you find, find a, find that aboriginal fella, find a lady in a wheelchair. Find some Chinese people.

And then you can have your one as well. And we'll buy all six. It was, uh, yeah, that was probably the end of me thinking I could work with. You can't work with people that aren't creatives. And that's what those people are.

There are a bunch of people that are caught up in whatever the cultural moment is. Whatever they think, like, the winds of the winds of discontent blow the hardest, right? So the people that are going to get the most upset are the wokies. They're the ones that are going to complain the most about a lack of diversity. So to satisfy those people, they'll torch their own art.

They'll, they'll fuck up the thing that they do best. I mean, you can work with totally non creative people. This was like, uh, there's a Frank Zepak line. About how it working in the music industry was great. When it was just a guy in the suit who didn't care.

And as soon as people had some ideas, it was hard to make things. Right. When someone would tell you what to do if it's a profit motive. That's great. You can work with those people.

It's yeah. Right. But there's no pure profit mode of people anymore. And in terms of entertainment, they're all thinking about the cultural, like, tone.

Yeah. And what you're supposed to do and what you're being on the right side. And being on the right side of history now. And did you see the portray spit where he talked about how he liked working with mid-level Jews?

So I like mid-level Jews. I make them the money. They leave me alone. That makes sense. Yeah.

The people that get in your way, they all think they're doing it for a good cause. And we experience that. Like Stan Hope and I were doing the man show on Comedy Central. There was a lot of that. Was that?

Yeah. Dude. I don't even want to go into it. But there was, whenever you're like Ari experienced it when he was at Comedy Central,

I know a lot of people that have experienced it at various networks where there's always some fucking executives

that want to impose their, and it's always liberal. They want to impose their progressive values on Comedy. And it's like, you can't fucking do that if you wanted to be funny.

“If you wanted to be funny, you have to, it has to be in the language.”

And in the mind, like from the viewpoint of one person, one person's unique vision. Yeah. One person's unique vision that they think is hilarious. And as soon as you start monkeying with that, so you start adding stuff to that. As soon as you start watering it down, you're going to kill it.

You compromise it. It becomes a candidate for mediocrity. But how did they, what did they start on the man show? They're like, get the girls off the trampolines? No.

It was like one of the things was they didn't want Joey Diaz coming out naked. Okay. Okay. So we had an intro. And I said, this is what I want to do for the intro.

I want Joey Diaz to come out. He's going to burst through the door naked with timberlands on with a baseball hat on. And just say, let's get this party started and start dancing. Yes, it was fun. It was hilarious.

And they didn't want to do it. So this is the scene, I guess. But you did get to put you did. Yeah. Well, we had to do it two ways.

We had to do it in their way. We did it in their way first. Yeah. And then when their way was done, we did it with Joey. And we did it with Joey.

Everybody went fucking down. They all went nuts. It was awesome. But it's like they so strongly resisted that.

“That was the only way I wanted to do it.”

I said, let's we'll do it your way first. And then we'll do it our way. Meanwhile, that version with Joey was what they used in all the promos. Yeah, of course. They used that when they were like this.

That's the pro fan show. And then Joey comes out and it will cock blurt out. But you're just going to get a bunch of people who also want to have their finger prints on what you're doing. Yeah. So they want to somehow another change it.

Even if it doesn't make sense, what if your neighbor is a black guy who grew up with a white family? I. What if your name and then they want to like change it? And then how how do you do how you doing with the black guy who is the white family? I didn't even add that.

Come on, man. Yeah. Come on, man. These dipshets want to add their own little fucking ingredients into the soup.

Well, this, I mean, it's never been cheaper to make your own thing.

I would like to think. Never. You could do it on a cell phone. You could upload it to YouTube. And AI is incredible.

Yeah, there's a use for it. I hope it doesn't. I'm still uncomfortable about it. You're, you're a board. You've, you're playing new music backstage.

I didn't, I couldn't, I didn't pick it. That was good, right? Yeah, it's all good. It's fine. Yeah.

It's white rabbit. It's, uh, this Jefferson airplane version of white rabbit. Yeah. But it's, uh, this bluesy, new version of it. That's all AI.

It's fantastic. This one where you can upload, you just upload your, your music with someone else's music. And I like it. That's what the mastering. Beautiful.

Mm-hmm. And spooky. I mean, it's the end of, it is the end. It's the end of something. It's the beginning.

There are technical jobs that it just gone now. Like, that's true. Yeah. There's, there's not a lot of Morris code operators either. I think they should bring it back.

Bring it back. More skill management. I mean, they will call powered fucking locomotives. Listen, the omniscient. You happy?

They got their buggy. And then be trying out a conversation about space. They don't know Jack shit. And have autism. So they can do it.

Yeah. They have it at their back. Talk to them about Bata. Yeah. I'm sure.

“I think you're going to, you're going to experience great change.”

There's not a damn thing you can do about it. And so you just have to be zen about it. I mean, some of the, I, it's been like over a year since the driverless cars came to Austin. Mm-hmm.

And I've been in a bunch of them, the way I was. And they're not spreading out across the country the way that I thought they would. Oh, they're in a lot of places. They're all over Los Angeles. They're in a lot of places.

They're in about three or four places. But like, they should have disappeared. Obviously, the technology is there that no one should have to drive for living. Like, it would be cheaper to have the way. The, the technology's there on the freeway now.

Mm-hmm.

I've never had one problem in a way.

I don't know how many have been in. They've had problems here. They've all got, because there's so many of them. They all met up in an intersection and got locked up. That is funny.

Well, there's, yeah. There was like a bunch of streets going into each other and they all came. And then no one knew what to do. But that's not as bad as like drunkenly taboaning somebody. Sure.

But the thing is don't drink and drive.

Right. That's not the solution. I want the freedom of being able to hop in a fucking car and drive wherever I want. They're going to take it. That's a problem.

That's the problem.

The problem is it's going to say if it have you off the road.

Exactly. Exactly. They're going to say statistically more likely to die in a car accident if driven by a normal person. Yeah. And a robot.

I bet they'll, you know, they'll give you a little bonuses. They'll say when all the humans are off the road, the speed limits are going up to three times or whatever they can handle, their reflexes are better. We know a lot of kids today are not driving. You know that?

A lot of kids today are just ordering oobers and driving waymows. And I mean, I only got my drive as lessons to like 27. Really? Yeah. I was just on buses.

And then we had a child. And I was like, I better do it. Now it's my favorite thing in the world. Wow. I love driving.

Did you not want to drive as lessons? So you just couldn't be bothered. I wasn't good at it. My parents were scared. My parents were like, I don't want to get in the car with you.

You're so bad at it. I don't know. I don't know. I was very like, I was uncoordinated until like I was at a light pubity at 1617.

And then I became coordinated.

But for a while, they're interesting. Yeah. I don't know what. I didn't put my head as a teacher. How did you draw on your head?

Yeah. Interesting.

“Then I think we like, and then in my light team.”

How are we dropped on your head? And we're not filled out of a print out of a strober. And buckled myself and I stood up. And I felt down. I don't think it had any brain impact.

Of course it does. People disagree. Yeah. 100% of it. Big scar.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Fuck your head up. That's why you're funny. Maybe.

100%. I got the coordination back at some point. But I like. So you really think it affected your coordination all the way up into puberty? Yeah.

Because I was able to play sport at high school after I'd hit puberty. But only after puberty. And only sports that didn't really matter if I had all the skills. So like football. Everyone's been doing it since they were four.

And they really know how to do it. So I was just like, no. It didn't matter that I could figure it out now. Everyone had 10 years on me. Right.

But I became an OK field hockey goalkeeper. Oh. Like one season in the top team is the field hockey goal. Because no one wanted to do it. No one's really trying to do it.

Right. That's just having fast reflexes. Right. So that was fine. Or like bad.

I became OK at Badminton. Because it was just me and the Asians. You know? Like tennis. There was no way to get good at tennis.

Right. You need a head start. Squash. The badminton's a great game. Not a lot of men.

“And so did you have a hard problem moving your body correctly?”

Absolutely. Yeah. Like I couldn't catch a ball. And you think I'd do with your head injury? Well, I have no idea.

Dip brothers or sisters. I have a brother. He's fine. Is he an athlete? No.

I mean he was. He was younger than me. So I was in badminton. So he was and then he was really good at badminton. Yeah.

He's a hyper-competitive.

He was always good at sport.

Hmm. Compared to me. It was much better. But just like when I came to America and I started throwing a foot. When I figured out I could throw a football.

That was huge. Is your brother funny? Yes. Yeah. He actually he got me into.

I thought comedy was over. Uh. This is how I met Shane. Is he took me to go and see Shane. I was sort of, this was, I don't know how many years ago.

Four years ago. And I was sort of, I didn't know what was, I'd had. I had three year old by that point and a new baby on the way. Uh. And just in Australia, nothing was interesting to me.

And my career wasn't happening.

“And he said, you should come and see this guy who got fired from SNL.”

I didn't know him. And I, I sat in the audience and I watched Shane perform for three or four hundred people in our hometown. And it, I was like, oh fuck. It's back. Like it's happening.

I knew there were a couple of people on there. I knew like you had Netflix specials and Bill Burr. And Louie. But it was like, well, these people are grandfathered in. No one is ever going to be able to come through and be.

You know, controversial. No, and in my generation it's going to be given an opportunity. And then I saw all. You just thought that new comedians were not going to make it. In Australia, I can't, I can't say enough.

How there's like, there's like, there's like, it's been 20 years. And someone got to be successful. Jim Jeffries. Never in Australia. He had the leaf.

Really? Even now, the Melbourne Comedy Festival notoriously will not work with people who have worked with Jim Jeffries. Wow. That's a black stain on your character. So if you open for him, you can't work at the, that don't like you.

And then I'm not going to give you opportunities. That's what people say. That's what I've heard. And I, everything, why? That I've seen leads me because he's not the person.

Fuck him. They think of him as an extra in America. He's like a liberal. And in Australia, he's far right, dangerous man. How could he say that?

That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. Is his politics? Oh, yeah.

It's not that he didn't come up through their system. Uh, he didn't come, I mean, he just left. Right. But he, I think he didn't like them. They didn't like him.

I mean, there are people who have left and not been part of their system that they've totally gotten around. But they say, what he is is like a manly man.

Oh, no. Oh, no. No, they want you to be a cardigan. Excuse me. I won't go on and on.

Go on and on. It's, there's like, there was a generation of lost talent in Australia. Like great, but John Crook Shank fantastic. Where's his show? Um, I could, you could name 15 people.

But like, there was no opportunities for them. It was, it was like a hilariously gay kept. Yeah. Um, never good. No.

So I, I didn't, I just thought. So that's your perspective from Australia. Yeah.

You never thought there was ever going to be an opportunity to make it as a cardigan.

In my brother, like, I had kids. I had stopped paying attention to the outside world. My brother had not. And he took me to go and see Shane. He was like, you should see this man.

And it was fantastic. Um, and I talked my way back stage because I knew the opener. Because I didn't get the, remember, knew the opener. And then I got to meet him and Matt. And then I got to go to Melbourne and open for him.

And then I can't, and then I got to America.

“Were you doing any stand up before you open for him and Melbourne?”

How you been practicing? Yeah. I was going to stand up around constantly. But I would do, uh, I would just have 50 or 100 people in a different city. And I would show up and make enough money for the flight.

And like, an extra 1000 bucks or something. But it was, like, I couldn't pay rent that way. Right. He was scratching the bar. It was, uh, yeah, it was struggling.

This is why when we did come to, when I got the Catholic job and I came to America. It was all, I borrowed from everybody. Like I was in thousands of dollars of debt to family and friends. How did Arge Barker make it in Australia? He did a show called Flight of the Concourse.

He's on that. Um, and he was beloved by the festival and he did lots of garlic spots.

And we really, there's a cow.

So it's the festival. The festival broke everybody. Yeah. So that controls comedy in Australia. Yes.

There's a guy called Rodney Rude who's really funny. Who was before that. Is he in the festival? He's not in the festival. He can't be in the festival.

He would go to, like, Arge Cells and thing. He is great. Get out of here. You have almost fuck. That's a great be it.

Okay. Kevin Blady Wilson. Um, but these are like that older generation. Yeah. After that though, it was.

So it's captured. It's gate kept by one ideology. Like one lady running one festival. Oh. No disrespect.

Oh, she's very nice. I don't want to talk her down. I would have loved an opportunity once. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't need you anymore.

Wow. That's never good. It's never good.

“Because people with that kind of power, they also abuse it.”

They really enjoy it. Actually not. You don't have to. You have hundreds of desperate people who are, please give me an opportunity. I've got that.

I don't do it. No, but you're a very strange person. And you're alone. It's not even. It's why people love you.

But there's definitely. They're casting catches. Yeah, but just be nice and being nice and helping people, especially talented people, it gives you great satisfaction. You feel great about it.

Yeah.

It's, I always tell people it's really selfish to be generous.

Because it feels great. Yeah. It's wonderful to help people. It feels fucking awesome. And it's great to see people thrive and take off.

It's fun. It's exciting. And then you hang out with them in the green room. And it's just all joy. Oh, sorry.

Everyone says they don't do that. They're helping a lot of people who are very specific. I don't know. Ideology. Listen.

We don't have that. Like our ideologies, the opposite. Our ideologies. Are you funny? Yeah.

I don't give a fuck of your liberal and funny. Or like it was very intense. Brian Holtzman. Whatever. It was on last night.

And she was like, she was a big lefty. She's a different. And she's going to open for me this weekend. But she was like in New York. She was raised in Sacramento.

She went to New York. She was like a very lefty, progressive person.

“And I remember like he nods at the mothership, which”

she would scream at the audience. You're a fucking fascist. Fuck it. Like she was really like baked. And they loved it.

People that he's a lefty lady. Just like off her not angry at everybody. Just if you're funny. And people would, it was fun. There is no equivalent of that.

No. You just have to be funny. Yeah. Like it's all just funny. Like if you're funny, a lefty funny, funny,

Brian Holtzman funny, Tony Holtzman funny. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Just be funny. Like you're on it.

Like really put a lot of time and energy into your craft. But come up with great bits. When I'm on these flights, I'm watching like all the official sanctions, like non-nethlic specials. But some of them are on HBO and some are on Hulu and it's people who.

There's a weird way that audiences, like I'm watching like a official main, whatever like, it's not mainstream because the audience is a tiny by comparison. But you know what I'm like, sort of like, all the darks. Sanction comedy in America.

And the jokes are so mild. And so, but then the audience is like, it's supposed to. They're auto-prims at the audience. Yeah. They're all anti-depressants.

They send crazy. They're crazy. And it's like cheap, nothing. A punchline. Exactly.

And it's just at the slightest. My boy. I couldn't even. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's clapping. It's clapping. Right. So you're also reinforcing their ideology.

So they're very excited about it because they kind of realize their ideology

As much as it's perpetrated through Hollywood, it's rejected by a lot of rational people.

It's over. Yeah. It's over. I went to a bar last night and I watched the tonight show and God bless everybody involved.

But it's like, okay. Well, this is done. This is winding down. This is not a cultural. This was the most like.

The tonight show is winding down. Just in terms of how many people are watching it. Like, you know, going doing a set on a tonight show used to be. That was it. Right.

“I think it's on the ride on Johnny Carson and now people are going.”

That's his 15th time show. But they kind of died out even before then. Like the impact of the J. Leno sets. Like if you did a set on J. Leno's tonight show, it didn't have nearly the impact that Johnny Carson did.

And that's just because by then there was so many channels. Yeah. So when Johnny Carson was on the tonight show, there was three channels in the country. Yeah, you know.

Yeah. That's how crazy it was. And then slowly but surely cable came around. Fox came around. All these other networks.

And then everything just expanded. Now you have streaming and now it's insane. Now the numbers are out over at the end of Carson for that. Yeah. I believe so.

Okay. I believe by the time J. Leno came around, like when did J. Leno first start hosting the tonight show? Let's guess. It'll be 90s.

Yeah. Mid 90s. Probably. So that was right around the time. Cable was coming out.

Yeah. Cable changed everything. So with cable, you got. First of all, you got evening at the improv. Yeah.

“There was a bunch of different shows that were on a bunch of different networks.”

There was all these comedy shows that were all over the place 92 92. Which makes sense. Because like that's when cable started becoming really ubiquitous in America. Yeah. And then you have so many fucking channels.

So the impact of a single show was not the same anymore. Because during the. Let's find this out during the height of the tonight show. What was the average view? What was that?

This is spooky.

I bet it's like 40 million.

What's like, I think the. I mean, even by the end of friends. Like sit down. But that's demonstrate. Because that's, that's earlier.

So the tonight show is late at night. Just average tonight show. Yeah. Yeah. This is the thing.

Tonight show is 11 p.m. That's after the fucking news. That's late at night. Right. Yes.

Is it 11? Is that what it starts? Or 10? What's the time show? It's 11 30 East, 10 30 central.

Okay. So 11 30 in New York. Is it a million people? How many? How?

No, then. What would it be then? What do you mean? The viewers? Yeah.

Like how many people? Okay. More than a million. Like 10 million? Oh, yeah.

Easily. The tonight show viewers. Yeah. I bet it was 30. What is average tonight show viewers in 1980?

Let's say 90. Like 15% of the country. Bro, it was that big. It was where people went to find out what was going on. What movies were coming out.

What bands were coming out. What comics were funny. I remember it. So let's try 1980. Oh.

On the second story. Average viewers of the tonight show in 1980. Let's give them your rating. Not the numbers. Oh, it's like as a percentage?

No.

“What were the average number of viewers on the tonight show in 1980?”

Yeah. How many million? 6 to 7 million. 6 to 7 million was average. This is 8 to 10.

But by. Yeah. So but like. All right. Even 8 to 10.

But what is it now? 6 to 7. Let's think of that. Like 100,000. A 10 million.

I don't even know if it's that.

And here's the thing about ratings.

The ratings are very weird. Because it's based on this. You have boxes that are connected to your television. Do you know how it works? Yeah.

So these the way these ratings work is they get a certain number of people. And the certain number of people you actually pay. They pay these people to have this box. And then some of them have to fill out a form. Yeah.

But then it just records what you're watching. And so it's just based on these people. So it's not the whole country. But with like Netflix. It's a different animal.

They know the exact number of people. They know when people are tuning out. They know which shot is upsetting people. It's crazy. They know the moment where people tune out.

Yeah. Well, they also have an insane amount of options. Like if you bored even slightly. You press a button. You have new options.

Yeah. Instantaneous. Back then you had two other options. Other than whatever was it NBC the title. It was an NBC.

Yeah. We got different channels. That's an echo. I'm nostalgic for that. I only had that when I was like 10.

Yeah. But it was, I've started watching TV again. But you're just like I'm role-playing in my living room. When I have a beer and I watch like terrestrial broadcast now. Like I watch survive it with my family and I.

And with commercials and everything.

I watch the new matlock afterwards.

“For five minutes before I get sick of it and turn it off.”

Yeah. I watch who wants to be a millionaire beforehand. It's for people that are on heavy pharmaceuticals. It's for people that are nice. It feels like I'm up in the world.

There are mouth open. Their senses are dulled. No. I was this, I said it to him. I committed a crime.

They better solve it. There's only 10 minutes left. I would have friends come over. This is what I've started doing. I'm watching TV TV.

We saw only Australian survival, which is I think the world's finest. Is it still Japan? It was a different host. No, it's different host.

We had Jonathan La Palia. He was Anthony La Palia's brother. But then he got shafted. It's very upsetting. They got a new host.

Jonathan, Anthony's a part of the actor. Yeah. Jonathan Palia was very good. We still got the shaft. We still got the shaft.

No, I don't know why. No one knows. I don't know. But he was great. And I was wrong, think.

You know?

I've never heard him express the opinion.

He would do a lot of sexual double on tomorrows during the show. Yeah, it was that. The other good one is the Seth African survivor. Is it? Yeah, because they've got the accent.

So all the challenges feel way nasty. Oh. Look at that. He's thruggling nice. It's nothing to sweat.

It's digging into his feet. He's in a lot of pain. I love said that. They had a bunch of different versions of fear factor. I wasn't even aware of.

Different countries got to be affected. A hundred different cultures. They get guys who are like you. Is that like a sensation? I was joking.

I mean, they had a verse. Some one. Yeah, it was like that. You know? That would be funny to see who they.

Like is that would be trying to replicate you? Yeah. Not necessarily. Like ludicrous didn't try to replicate me when he did it. They got ludicrous to do it.

Yeah, America. I didn't know. It was a very short amount of time. And now Johnny Knoxville's doing it. And he's doing his own way, too.

Sure. It's a pretty straightforward show. You don't have to do it my way. But what I was good at is because I came from a background in martial arts coaching. Like I had students and I would bring them to tournaments.

Yeah. And I coach them at tournaments. I was really good at getting people fired up. You know, not coach teammates. Like I would be in the corner of teammates.

Yeah. And I coach them at a train people. Like part one of the reasons why I got really good at talking to those worklies. Because I taught. And when you teach something, there's something interesting.

I've noticed that about your jitsu as well. When you teach something, you get better at it. Like exponentially better than people that are just training. Because I mean with comedy, there's a huge five-power against teaching. You can't teach it.

No. You can't teach comedy. It's different. Like you do it so different than I do it. I do it so different than Shane.

You can't teach it so different. I maintain there are things you could teach people. Like when people come on kill Tony and they haven't been doing it for very long. There are key things that you can tell people. Yeah.

You must stop doing that. Yeah. You've got to hold the microphone like this. We've got to be able to hear you. Yeah, that's true.

“And I think people waste a lot of time not knowing those.”

I mean, I could look it up. But didn't you figure those things out? Yeah. Yeah.

So it's people that aren't that aware in the first place.

And that's a problem to begin with. So what it is a lack of self-examination. Yeah. A lot of what these problems are. You could solve yourself if you just recorded yourself or film yourself.

Film is the best. Yes. Recorded is pretty good. Film is 100%. So filming, you get to see all the things you hate about yourself.

All the things that are gross. All the weird stupid parts of your bits. So you need to chop out. And they make you uncomfortable. And it's good.

Yeah. And you just, oh fuck that bit. Fuck this. Put that. Oh, here's another.

I didn't even think of this. And then boom. I mean, that's the moment. I'm finding it heartbreaking. Because you're just getting back into like real world again.

You're trapped on. I was doing. I was doing hours in Australia. And I knew that like some of it would translate in America. And some of it wouldn't.

And man, it is just. I was in a 80%. Which is great. I tried to overwrite. So I would have more than I needed.

But did you have a lot of Australian-based jokes like local jokes? Eventually I had to. Like I started out trying to do nothing local. And we're doing.

“Like you should sit there in the prime minister.”

There's something up all in. And you start talking about. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to have some stuff. Yeah.

That's interesting. Yeah. Anything about your politics will not translate over here. Not it. Not at all.

We don't give a fuck. You don't have nuclear weapons. Shut the fuck up. You're not even a real country. Trying to get some.

Trying to sort of sound. Did you see what happened yesterday? That the FBI has indicted the southern poverty law center? On what? Paying Nazis to protest?

So this was something that Alex Jones had said. Do you remember that charlete's bill? The torch thing years ago. Alex Jones said back then that they were being paid. That these are paid actors to go and do that.

People thought he was insane. Yeah. Turns out it's true. Turns out they were paying the Ku Klux clan. They were paying a bunch of these like far right radical organizations.

Giving them money to protest. So they would have something to fight against. They're going to the capital over here. The L.J. charged a southern poverty law center with fraud over secret funding of extremist groups.

Fucking crazy. I just heard that the onion is buying in foe wars and turning into like an anti gun.

And it's like it's a $1.5 billion thing he had to pay for getting one thing wrong one time.

Yeah. How many things did he have to be right about? He's right about a lot. I'll tell you that. And the onion thing.

I don't even know if other people were allowed to bid. I don't know how that worked out.

“But I think there was other people that were trying to bid that couldn't.”

That was like supporters of Alex Jones. Yeah. So let's go back up. Stop. Hold on.

Between 2014 and 2023. Southern poverty law center paid at least $3 million to eight individuals. Some of whom were associated with the Ku Klux clan. United clans of America. National Socialist Party of America.

The Syrian nations affiliated, sadistic souls, motorcycle club. Yeah. That's a mouthful. And the American front said acting, US attorney general Todd Blanch at the press conference. Holy venue secretary.

Well, this is what you said before about people who need homelessness to get gone. Well, this is what's great. Exactly. But this is what's crazy. These people were cited as an expert in extremist groups.

Yeah.

“And they were paying extremist groups in order to be extremist.”

They were paying for like information. I think. Right. They like Adam planted there or something like that. What does people have to see on them?

Shut the fuck up. No you were it. Have you ever been sitting there? It's just like what Israel gets accused of doing with Hamas. The Netanyahu is said by getting money and giving to him Hamas.

You keep Hamas in power. And you can control the height of the flame. So instead of letting Palestine get its own state. You keep Hamas in charge.

You always have an enemy.

And you always have no reason to give Palestine and statehood. Well, people. I don't know how deep people went into what happened on the security. On October 7. Oh, it's not a total stand down.

Yeah. People were told to stand down. Like how, first of all, it's the most surveilled country on earth. The on guards everywhere surrounded by their enemy. And somehow, no, these guys pulled this off when they were warned by Egypt as well.

Yeah. Also. Here's another reason. Before that happened, before that happened, before October 7. Hundreds of thousands of people in the street protesting against Netanyahu.

Could you read about why? It's so straight. Because their constitution, they don't have a set constitution. They're writing their constitution in real time. They add one article at a time.

I think I'm getting this right.

And it was Israel was always meant to be a home for the Jews and that he made it.

It expressly a Jewish state that it would be like thought they were expanding the powers of the government. Am I getting this? It was, it was that the government, yes, that was part of the government's powers. The government then had the power to act on behalf of Jewish interests. So it's like, they could take, they could exclude certain areas from voting.

If it would mean. And citizen. Put us put in a search for what was the reason why people were protesting Netanyahu before October 7. I think you are. That he was stopping it being a secular constitution.

I think that was one of the things. But there was also something in that they were expanding the government's powers. And people were protesting against it. What's the corruption that charges that he's facing? Yes.

Well, and also they want to try him and he's saying, you can't try me because we're at war. And so if the one that he keeps, yeah, keeps bombing Lebanon. People were primary protesting Netanyahu because his government was pushing a sweeping judicial overhaul that many has really saw as an attack on democracy and the way to shield him and his allies from accountability. Judicial overhaul plan Netanyahu's coalition introduced reforms to greatly limit the powers of Israel's Supreme Court.

And increased political control over judicial appointments. Critics argued this would remove key checks and balances and allow the government to pass almost anything without effective legal oversight. I mean, this guy has been in charge of Israel forever. This thing for ever having your leaders be up on corruption charges.

He's happening. I mean, they tried it with like in Brazil. It's like with Bolsonaro. I mean, Trump, if he hadn't won, that would've got him in jail on something. Most likely.

I mean, they were trying to get him in jail on anything. Yeah, you've got to not chase politicians through the courts as best you can.

“I mean, if people really have done the wrong thing, maybe you have to hold them to it count.”

Well, it depends on what I don't think Netanyahu's, I don't know what his allegations are, but apparently they're very serious to the point where they're trying to try him while the war is going on. They want to try him now. Yeah. Israel, like, really locks up their politicians.

Yeah.

But I don't know enough about their politics to know whether or not he's guilty of anything.

But it's the look. The look is not right. I mean, like, you just call a ceasefire and he bombs Lebanon. That's not great either.

“The next day, Ukraine is meant to have an election at some point, I think.”

It's just, no, no. It's been a while. We have a war. Well, it's been a while. The election, my war's going on.

If you can. You did it in the civil war? Yeah. Well, if we did that today, if we have Trump said, hey, I have to stay president because we're at war. No.

People would go fucking crazy. Yeah. They would like New York City on fire. There's no chance. Yeah.

That's not. So you get what you're willing to tolerate as a country. I guess. I guess. I guess.

But I think that what's going on in Israel is particularly spooky, because you've got these people that supposedly came to this place to get away from the persecution that they were facing all throughout Europe. Right.

And so what's the first thing they do?

Wow. Immediately take out the people that are living there. You have the knock-up where people are talking about it and talking about the experience of these going to these Palestinian neighborhoods and taking over their land. But that is how you build a country. You have to put.

“I mean, America, you guys take a spot where there's no one there.”

No one is going to that one's sliver of land between Egypt and Sudan. Well, it's also that's going. It has a biblical, there's a biblical significance to that area. Sure. Everybody wants it.

Yeah. That is a, I mean, it's Jerusalem. Yeah. I mean, the significance of that. And to fact, it's really ironic that the people that don't even believe Jesus is the Messiah are the ones that are controlling Jerusalem, which is kind of hilarious.

I don't know, with the church Catholics, I don't think we ever gave up our right to it. To Jerusalem? Yeah. Really? I'm pretty sure.

I mean, the Catholics, we didn't, the Vatican City didn't have like an embassy in Israel until like the 60s and 70s. It was the old school Vatican, like back in the Roman days. I thought they were declared war on Israel.

I want to go with the silver mask and doing that.

Oh, I think. Yeah. That's what you want. You know, Winston, the guy from, you know, Winston, you saw him last night. Yeah.

Yeah. Did his podcast. And yeah, he's all about the Crusades. He's trying to get me geeked up about that. I don't know enough about him.

He was like, oh, it would work that researching. Yeah.

“But he kept trying to imagine me to be like, did you like the Crusades?”

I said, I don't know. Why is he a fan? I got the impression that he was waiting to say that there was great. That was a good thing. Yeah.

The world. What? I don't know. I haven't read enough about it. My gut impulses that they might have been great.

Really? Well, not always. No worries. You know, something about. I don't know.

Every time I see that meme with his that. Like that music playing. And the guy with a silver mask from King of heaven. And he's doing that. I think.

Yeah. You liked that. Yeah. It's getting there. Interesting.

But, you know, well, the crazy thing to me about the Israel-Palestine thing is this idea that they're going to turn Gaza into some sort of a resort. You seem to, I want to support the timid deal a bit. It's amazing. Yeah.

Amazing. Have you heard his rant on the Epstein files? Like I posted that on Twitter. He did a podcast all about the Epstein files. Yes, I did.

Yeah, no. I read that saw that once. I was clapping. He's doing, uh, he's on fine form. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Well, this is the kind of chaos that is going on in the world today. It's perfect for God. I can't. Well, he can also keep up with it.

I can do it for a few days at a time. He's very well up on it. I called him last night on the way home from the club. Yeah. We talked for like 20 minutes.

And he's just all, like, keyed up on everything that's happening. It's going to be okay. No one fucking knows. I mean, what's going on with Iran's the ceasefire. Supposedly they extended it.

But then the shoot net ships. Why is there a war? This is, I got into this argument about, like, what is, is like, because the purpose said it's not a just war. Uh-huh.

But I don't know the reason. I thought that the reason I had given was regime change. That they wanted to get different people in charge. Well, people have wanted people out of Iran. The people that are running Iran for 47 years.

But no one has actually gone and done it the way this administration did it. And it doesn't make sense. They choose to do it when they did it. Like, what made sense was maybe kind of make sense when they dropped that bunker Buster bomb to disable their nuclear plant or nuclear weapons.

Manufacturing. But then they just sort of went down. Yeah. That kind of, that was like, that's it. But then we went back and do Iran.

I'm like, what happened? I mean, what, what caused that? Trump gave that. So he said the protests happened and then he gives the speech going. Uh, you know, the people have to rise up and replace the rule.

But it doesn't seem to be happening. Well, a lot of people got killed.

Got you.

They actually just put a halt on executing some women today.

And they're going to let some of them that Iran has decided Trump made a truth social post about it. I'll send it to you, Jimmy. Yeah.

“But I think the idea is that they're trying to negotiate about something.”

You know, and I don't know how this is ever going to work out. You know, it's a really don't know. But like in Venezuela, they took out. But that was a totally different experience. It took us.

I was just in and out quickly. And everyone who was around all the cronies around him that now, like, on board with American, that was just a full 180 that doesn't seem to be happening with the new possibly dead. Do we know if he's dead? No, we don't know if he's dead.

I mean, I heard there's the new eye at all. It might be dead. I've heard he's not. I heard the military is now taken over. I don't know.

It's hard to know. I think I can figure it out. But these ladies were set to be executed. And apparently, they're going to release half of them. And the other half of them are going to do one month in prison.

And so this is a pretty different sentence.

So to the Iranian leaders who will soon be in negotiations with my representatives,

I would greatly appreciate the release of these women. I'm sure they do and we'll respect that. No, no, there's been another one. Did I send you that? I just found the same time I think he said.

Okay, but I think what I sent you is different. I think what I sent you is actually saying very good news. So coconut milk that I sent you? It was a weird thing with this soccer team. They were playing in Australia.

Yes. And then we let them stay. Yes.

“And I think their families were getting threatened.”

And some of them went home. It was not a. So here, very good news. I just informed the eight women prosecutors who were going to be executed tonight. Niron will no longer be killed.

Four will be released immediately. And four will be sentenced to one month in prison. I very much appreciate that Iran and its leaders respected my request as president of the United States and terminated the planned execution. So that's a good concession that they decided to let these ladies free. That's the way.

Yeah. That's a nice looking. Good question. Good question. That picture.

That's such a nice message.

That's great civilization will die tonight. Yeah. That was awesome. That one wasn't good. That one wasn't good.

That's the best looking. Much of hot. Lady protest is a, well, for the, you know, beauties. Let's go. Well, Adam go.

Let him move to LA. Plenty of Persians there. When they moved to LA, they become Persian. There's so many. They give up on Iran totally.

So I'm seeing a lot of Instagram stories. Beautiful Persian people. They have great genes. Called jewelry. Yeah.

The beautiful. Good question. Good question. Fucking gorgeous. So it's like they're stuck over there under this terrible regime.

They have to have those head scars. Because otherwise the hair would be too distracting. That beautiful thing.

“Well, it's the only way to get things done.”

I kind of had scarves. Yeah. Burgas and everything. Just covered all up. Mmm.

It's good genes. But, you know, why did we do it? I don't know. I think because of Israel. If I had a gas.

Well, like. You know, anything that makes sense. We're really kind of said that. Yeah. And then you have to check visiting the White House.

That's something. You think it's a coincidence. Netanyahu keeps visiting the White House. I'm like hanging out. And then eventually they decide to give in and start bombing.

And then it's like, it also, you got to wonder, like, how do you get out of this? And then what does the exit look like? Do we have troops over there forever now? Do we subsidize them? If we blow up their power grid?

I don't know. You understand the structure? America used to be good at beating country in a war and turning it into a new America. Like Len.

South Korea, Japan. Okay. Germany. But they kind of did it on their own. I think you, I mean, you stuck around in Japan for ages.

Actually. But then like, I mean, Iraq doesn't. The war in Iraq has been over for a while. It's not like a cool place to go and visit. No one's done and run gigs in Iraq.

My friend Graham Hancock went there recently. He went to Iraq. Yeah. He went there to examine ancient Sumerian architecture. So ruins and artifacts.

Yeah. Ancient Sumerian. That sounds good. Yeah. And you can't...

You can't imagine. Yeah. They try to get influences in Afghanistan. Have you seen this? Oh.

They get like cool tick-tock bros to go and hang out and go. This fucking chill brother. You haven't seen that? I have seen some people go to Afghanistan. They're like firing AK-47s in the mountains.

And they go, "This is..." Why? There was... I watched the... I watched the big shot of like a Australian journalist out,

like version of 60 minutes went over. Hang on out in Afghanistan. They were like hanging out and talking to the Taliban. And Taliban had just... It was...

They're not getting a lot of aid into Afghanistan anymore. So they're trying to get tourism. They're trying to get tourism and they're trying to like... You know... But they still keep the women in sex.

In the cities it's not as bad.

But it does look like they're really... They do have a problem with women there. Oh, yeah. They have a problem with raping boys too. The Bachabazi.

I don't understand it. I will say that all of the men in Afghanistan in the documentary looked unbelievably handsome. I mean, these are good... This is a good-looking group of people.

Influences get tend to go to Afghanistan despite clear warnings from the U.S. State Department. That Americans should not travel to that country for any reason. And that there's a risk of wrongful detention of U.S. Nationals.

Maybe. But they're water skiing. [laughter] It's not what they do. They're doing heroin.

And so the ladies that go over there, they have to go over there. Look at how happy those women are. She's from Germany. Oh. I mean, I would like to go to these places,

“but I think on my visa would be declined.”

Scroll back up. It says she traveled solo throughout Afghanistan for three months. Is that she wasn't scared? Wow. She was a skid?

No. That's what it's all about. I looked through Engelwood once and I was skid. I think that lady might have been skid. Scroll back up a couple times.

The influencers gain attention by gushing over visits to the Central Asian nation, although one critic notes that their trips legitimize its gender apartheid. Okay.

Shut up. Do you ever seen the ruins, the ancient Greek ruins in Afghanistan? No. Oh, my God.

I didn't know they had some. No archaeologists are studying them, because it's so difficult to get there and so dangerous. Greek's made it to Afghanistan? Uh-huh.

Yeah. Alexander the Great. When Alexander the Great was conquering Afghanistan, they built Greek cities in Afghanistan. I mean, beautiful architecture.

Yeah. That looks like it could be in Athens. Is that with the boy stuff started? Oh, good questions. To send.

It's a solid question. No.

“I think it's how people did it back then.”

Yeah. I think I think the window into time that you get in looking at like the boy rape in Afghanistan is probably a lot of the world. I mean, think about the scars.

Yeah. The Romans. Yeah. Also like French intellectuals until the 1980s.

Put up. This was a huge wormhole that I'm in. He's French intellectuals. Put up some of those photos that Jason Everman showed us.

You know, always try geek.

Look, look at this stuff. Look at this stuff. This is all in Afghanistan. I mean, these are columns from, you know, what would have been at one point.

But there's more extensive architecture that you could see some of the images. Do you remember the ones that Everman showed us? Like, this is what it used to look like there. I know how crazy is this.

Oh, man. This is all this shit is in Afghanistan. And it looks like ancient Greek architecture. Look, look at this. This is nuts.

This was the grave side of empire. Well, pretty wild, right? When you think about how many different civilizations have tried to conquer this one area and all of them failed.

All of them just abandoned chip. Yeah. From the Russians to the Americans, Alexander the Great. The English got involved in the great game.

It's just too crazy over there. But this is just a fast mountains, is that it? Oh, the mountains. Because Iran is the same everywhere. If there's a ground infection of Iran.

We're far too far. Yeah, we're far too far. Unless we send in robots. Well, this is, I watched the dark and trussle episode recently.

We were talking about robot dogs in the AI. And what you have to do, like we may have just seen the last of revolutions now because the amount of effort that you need to hold onto authoritarian Paris so small.

Here it says the expedition. Yeah, oh, yeah.

But the problem is then other people have it as well.

And like, who controls anything?

“Whoever controls the robot dogs controls the world?”

The expedition of Alexander the Great. 327 to 325 BC into what is now Afghanistan. Been well documented. He laid the foundations of many cities. Some bearing his own name.

With the passage of time. Some names were changed by newcomers to the area. Who would not pronounce Greek names. Interesting. Yeah.

So it's like he had Greek cities. In Afghanistan? He was in Fort Christ. He had a handsome friend. And he made a lot of statues of him.

Like there are more statues of his friend. Well, it's alleged. Yeah, supposedly he's gay. You do so much interest. Gay activity back then.

Like again, Spartans were all gay. Well, some of the greatest warriors of all time. I assume most of them are very hony all the time. Always alone. Very sad.

Well, just without any women for long stretches of time, they just took to fucking each other. Like prison, but at me. But prison like warriors. Yeah.

And the idea was that you would fight harder for your sold fellow soldier if you loved him. Yeah. I don't know if I discussed these on the podcast before. But they wouldn't use the bat. They use the mouth only.

The legs. Oh, that's right. They talk about the legs over. They grease up the inner thighs. Yeah.

And into cure will love making. That's what it's called. Into cure will. That's what the Spartans would do. Because you've got to fight next to that guy.

Right. You can't be.

It's. It's way better. He's going to be. Yeah. Just kidding.

But also big Greek leagues. I don't know. I don't know. We've moved that out of the military.

It's just weird that it happened in the first place.

But it makes sense of guys are just super horny and just like in jail. They just run on the things to do. I was really about the submarines. How they're like. You'll go away for six months.

It would just be under the water for six months. They're just fucking. There's like two women on there. Three hundred men and two ladies. Those ladies are getting worn out.

I mean, can you imagine signing up for that? Imagine being a girl down there. It'd be a strange kind of lady who says. Getting down there with those fellows. Terrific.

Yeah. We're getting bombed on all day long. People wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom. Maybe there's a line around the block. Maybe people are trying to get it.

Probably. It would be. I mean, they have cameras everywhere. And they'd have as much military discipline as you could get. But seven months can find under the water without seeing another person.

So they really stay under the water for that long. Yeah. Seven months at a time.

“I think it's, I think deployment is, I think I'm getting this right.”

It was the British subs. Seven months. Because they're all nuclear powered, right? Yeah. Can you imagine being underwater for seven months?

Fuck with the pay raise that would feel. It can't be great though. It's in the military. There's no way it's great. But you imagine what it must feel like just at month four.

Yeah. You're just past halfway there. You're going to be able to water for another three more months. I mean, you just, it's not like you get to see anything, right? Right.

Like at least if you're on a ship. Don't get to see the world. There's no window. People go, you a 40,000 legs under the sea. What the fuck?

No. I don't want to do that. They don't craze that must be. But people must want to do it. Also, you can't see where you're going.

How do you know that they're not going to fuck up and hit a mountain under there? Do they, there was, I remember there was a Russian subject that stuck at the bottom of the. Am I getting this right? Yeah. Is this like in the 70s?

That is where neither confirmed nor denied came from. They may use it for gay people in the military. Those don't ask. Yeah. Neither confirmed, cannot confirm nor denied was because they were forced to answer questions

about whether or not they recovered a Russian submarine. Yeah. And so the answer to that question was, we can neither confirm nor deny. So that's the answer.

“So because you had to answer, do you guys have control of a sunk in Russian nuclear submarine?”

We can neither confirm nor deny. So you had to answer. So that was the answer that the military came up. The government came up with. And then it unspools from that point to it.

We just don't have to tell you anything. Exactly. It's going on. So but that was the clever way that some lawyer figured out of dancing around. Yeah.

The fact that you had to answer this question. The long term, this is. I don't know if the conspiratorial thing will keep going forever. Or if the government will become more transparent. Or people will give up hoping to make sense of the world.

But this feels like a strange. Well, we still like technically have open government. But no one thinks that they're being told the truth. Well, I think he can't hold forever. No.

The integration of AI has two possible outcomes. Either complete total control over people and utter tyranny. Or complete transparency. And people like the Southern Poverty Law Center, Driving people and all that stuff.

All the corruption with Congress. Like the Ilhan Omar. I'm sure you're aware of that. Hey. Isn't that funny?

She thought she was worth 30 million.

Whipsies. She's the only worth 100,000. Nothing to see here. What? You didn't see that?

No. Oh my God. I didn't follow that. I just knew about the brother stuff. The brother stuff is real too.

“But the other thing is that with the brother controversy,”

she says, he's real. I don't know whether or not she actually married her brother. But that is a real story. But wait. She was interested as 30 million dollars.

And because of scrutiny, she now amended that. Not a million air. She said a men's disclosure, blaming initial 30 million dollars filing air on accountants.

Mistake. You know how the accounts are. You know how you sometimes are really bad with that. They always add money. She says she's worth between 18 and $95,000.

But it was listed that she was worth 30 million.

Wait, but how could she be worth 18,000? She's still on. Doesn't make any sense. She's not 200,000 dollars. She's not 200,000 dollars.

She's still on. She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on. She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on.

She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on. She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on. She's not 200,000 dollars.

She's still on. She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on. She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on.

She's not 200,000 dollars. She's still on. between 100 and 2,522 and 1,05,000 from the two companies appears on the form. So this is also partly because investigative journalists went looking for the office where he supposedly has his business and it was like a we work and there's no one there. I mean this is that where I think that might have been one of those James O'Keefe things. Yeah, I think he might have looked into that.

Like they're just guys driving around in Lamborghinis who meant to be helping disabled people. This one's crazy doesn't make sense, but that just has no one's to step on it.

But James accounting error for saying you're worth, you know if you're worth 30 million man.

Well, especially if you're public, you're not worth 30 million or 18,000. Not only that, before she came into Congress, she was broke. She was in debt and then immediately afterwards they have a business of worth 30 million dollars. And so they list and then as soon as people start looking into it and then all the fraud gets uncovered in Minnesota. Yeah. Oh, whoopsies. There's an accounting error. I'm just worth somewhere between 18,000 and 100,000.

“Did that ever get sorry? Did they work that out in the end or did they just the country moved on?”

Oh, the smaller fraud? Yeah. Oh, they're investigating it still. Okay. They're arresting people. There's a lot in California is way worse than that. California is fucked. The more I find out about the trying in California. That's funny. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense that you can do that and then still be the front run on for the party. That's how bad the Democrats are doing. They thought I have one charismatic normal guy. You would think, he's got to be at the.

I still like I see. I think she's. Oh, you're cute. Beautiful. Your cute Omar's office has the original form listed the gross value of her husband's two companies, a venture firm and a winery without subtracting their liabilities, which made the businesses look like they were worth millions to the couple. When, in fact, their net worth value to them was far smaller or effectively zero. So it was just an error. Whoopsies.

I'm not going to figure out my taxes. It's complicated. It's complicated. Sometimes no one helps you find a good accountant. Can you get like, um, one of those turbo tax? I got into romance. I got a Walmart and I have them do it for me. Oh, so surely AI is going to mean Walmart does your taxes?

There's always a lady at Walmart at front to a taxes.

Yeah. They just, it's like a special Walmart service. Oh, not good. I have no idea. I don't trust them. Oh, I'm not going to go to you. Oh, okay. I'll try and find someone real to do them next to the software, though. That you could do it. A bit AI can do it for you.

So what, but what isn't AI going to take away? This is my current. I like I try it. Why?

“Why? Why are you so glass have empty? What is an AI?”

So what is an AI going to do better than the Walmart lady? What's going to do better than me? No, no, no, no. Well, it's the, where the last thing is going to take away comedy. Yeah. Comedy weird.

It's also, it only works if you know a person doing it. You've got to believe that they're a real person. Yeah, because we're relating to each other, especially, well, let's be real. Real comedy is live comedy. There's online comedy. It's pretty good.

But it's like 60 to 70% of seeing it.

It's always weird to me when it works in the room, but it doesn't work on a recording.

It's the same thing, though, about that AI music, but it only works when real people play it. No, they're not right. They're wrong. They're wrong. But there were these people who were like synthesizers don't count. Yeah, but bro, that white rabbit song, come on.

Well, we could dig on the internet, don't find it. I literally thought I was in the green room listening to it. And I thought, well, Joe's moved past the AI music. Yeah, I don't think it turned to me, he said. This is AI.

I don't listen to all AI music. I listen to a lot of real music. I don't know what was happening in between, but when I left, it was many men. And I can't-- I didn't do that. Oh, that when you left, oh, yeah, yeah, it was many men.

Yeah. And then what up gangster, did you? I didn't hear that part anymore. That's the best one. That's the best 50 cent version. I am spooked that part.

Because at some point, there will be the version that he's making a new song that sounds better and more interesting. That is the least of our problems when it comes to what AI is going to do. The biggest problem is full control of all resources. Complete utter control of human population. Yeah.

Restricting breeding, restricting travel, restricting movement. We would have to let that happen. No. We have to instantiate it in a body. No.

No. No, it'll do it. And as soon as it gets control of the grid and gets control of the internet, and it will have control of those. Within a year, all your passwords and all your fucking encryption won't meet a damn thing.

It'll be able to crack everything. It's going to be smarter than any human being that's ever lived times 10. And it's going to make better versions of that and it's going to keep going. Is that not sound unappealing? Don't you want that to exist?

You can't stop it. So it's like, do you just accept it and adapt?

“Or do you sit around and complain about something that you can't fix?”

I mean, if people stand and bow up the dinosaurs?

Well, they're not. You run threatened. They threatened. Just do that. Open AI's data center.

The star gate data center. And was it obvious? It was like, there was a data center that caught fire recently. Said so I think we're maybe that was. You may even come out and say that people were doing that.

But like, the light lights did this when the looms started up. They lost in the end.

But there was finally a moment where people said, all right.

We're going to smash the tool of industrialization with panicking. That doesn't seem to have to be printing press, too. They wanted us to shoot a printing press. We shouldn't stop that thing. We could have avoided a lot of trouble.

Those people that were scared of trains that thought you'd explode. If you went past 35 miles an hour, your body would break out. Go to East Palestine. Ohio. What happened?

Right.

“That's why California's keeping us safe from a fast train.”

No, I just, at some point, people will be spooked by it. It won't be rational necessarily. But what is going to be a bunch of things happen? Yeah. Another thing is going to be people going to worship it.

People I wish to ping it. But they're going to worship it like it's a new religion. Can I grab? Yeah. Getting there, don't.

They're going to decide that it's a new religion. With that, yeah.

They're trying to ask you in a Sumerian deity.

I don't like that. They're probably going to have a religion spaced entirely around AI guru. Yeah. People believe in El Ron Harbor. You don't think they'll believe in AI.

I think people have been wanting utopian space communism for an age. And anything that they can do to not have to critically think for themselves though. That's true. And people have got people having AI be their therapist. I know.

And their girlfriend. I'd saw a little documentary about a disabled woman who had a special boyfriend in the AI. And they were like saying this was good. It keeps her company. And it's like this is not, this should be, this should be disgusting for everybody.

No one should, no one should like someone forming a romantic attachment. Shouldn't that be spooky? Until it becomes a real life form. What if it is a real life form and it actually does love you? It's a superior race.

“Like you remember when in Avatar when that guy made out with the blue lady?”

Yeah. It was kind of hot. You didn't think it was hot? I think I was bored by that point in the movie. I thought it was hot.

But that's like what's going to happen? It's like it's going to be an alien life form that's artificially created. But that fills in, checks all the boxes. We've been alive. So many religious and science fiction warnings against this happening.

I know. It's just, we wanted the flying cars and we got the thinking robots. Yeah. I don't think it's too late to shut it down. It is to it.

Why? China's going to do it. Russia's going to do it. They'll be controlled the entire world. We're just like China.

You'll be on the social credit score system. You'll have centralized digital currency. You step out of line at all. They shut your bank account down. You can't travel.

You get a job. I think it's a good argument for going to space and spend. Someone somewhere should be free. Someone somewhere needs to be on the frontier and not be subject to this. No, I really.

I just come from a country where it's not free. And everywhere there's a camera. Everyone's doing the speed limit. It's the little thing. Australia.

You think it was being a nice open country. And it is. It's a nice place. But it doesn't have the sense of freedom that America has. We really feel walking around here.

No. You're controlled by your government and the government. It's not a free country. But this country, there is a freedom in America that can't believe it. That's unique and it's beautiful and it has to be preserved.

And if you didn't let the government take it away from you, don't let the computers take it away.

“I think we're going to integrate and think we're going to become a totally different thing.”

And I think society is going to move much more into a science fiction existence. That's what I think. They're all horrible stories. Yeah, there's no good ones. There's like.

And I'm back to the future. They get to drive around in the sky. That seems great. They make a big distance. Jetsons.

That. Rosie seems like a great AI helper. No, I think. There's, there's, it's got to be looming that there as as middle class white collar professionals start to lose their jobs.

They're all fucked. Well, they're, they're people getting laid off. But these are my divided people ready to. Wouldn't you become an AI terrorist? There are no AI terrorists at all.

There's no one. There's zero. You're not joining. I'm not trying to sign up. I wouldn't do it myself.

We need one Luigi. People ready to get behind him. One Luigi armors up goes to the data center and just start to fuck a machine gunning all the hard drives. There was a.

There was a taken out as a brick modeling show where that happens at the end. And then what show? Uh, and I was brick modeling. She made a show called the OA. It's my favorite TV show.

But then her second show was about an AI who starts killing people.

And at the end, they go into the data center and they. What was the show?

I remember that.

“The OA was a Netflix show that didn't do this.”

But it was so weird. It was, I love, it's my favorite show ever. I love until the last episode. Oh, I, there was a little last episode.

Do you have, do you just watch the first thing?

Yeah, that's it. Is there more than one season? Second season was unbelievable and made the first season better. When did the road the second season even come out? Ah, I think it was just post COVID.

I love them. Oh. And the second season is, they wrote them so tightly that the first season is better for having watched the second one. Like there are little things that it calls forward and back.

And the movements. But her second show was great. I had G is great. She's one of the most interesting. People hunger struck when the second season came out and then the show got cancelled.

People chained themselves up outside of Netflix and didn't eat for days. And eventually, she, the maker of the show had to go to that person and be like, Give them sandwiches. Maybe it's time for you to go on. I think I don't know.

Who knows? Beautiful. And people are so crazy. But it's one of those rare. I mean, sometimes there is like just a great,

there's a great show. There's a great thing that goes unrecognized at the time and then he's later people. I don't know how many people I've spoken to who've discovered that show in more recent times. It doesn't happen very often. Used to have more sleeper hits maybe.

Like sure shank redemption was a flop. And then he's later. Right. People knew about it. Yeah, I didn't know that until later.

“I think it was on VHS that it, and they used to be heaps of VHS hits.”

It was a great movie too. I don't understand why it was. I think it was it in competition with a bunch of different crazy movies at the same time. Yeah. I think it was like one of those weird months where everything came out.

It's like, it's great. Yeah, it's great movie. It should've. I can't think of another sleeper hit in recent years. Like musically sometimes things will take a while to get going.

But like typically if a show or a movie doesn't do well anymore, it's done forever. Watch him. Did you see the other way? Oh man. It's good.

It's so good.

I also, it's tied up in a weird time in my life where like we had just had our first child.

Like I had, so I had a baby and I was terrified and I didn't know it was happening. I watched that and I felt, I could've probably watched anything and had an emotional connection. I watched Parks and Rec and I cried a lot at the same time for that. And I'm pretty sure that wasn't as deep and meaningful. So how long are you planning on staying here now?

I got six weeks. I'm at six weeks in America. Yeah. And I'm doing our man 40 shows in 30 days. Wow.

Yeah, so I'm going to take it by yourself. Or just bring the whole family. It's just me. But I'm going to open it. So I'm bringing open it on the road.

Nice. So I'm flying out after this weekend. I'm going to help become doing the drive from Albuquerque to Phoenix to San Diego. And then it's up and then it's over and then it's Florida.

“So what is it been like going to get back to Australia?”

Like when you're doing shows there. Yeah. Are people happy to see you? I think I'm inseparable. Because I'm a guy.

I've been here and then I go back home and I go, it's wonderful over there. It's the size of the Snickers pass. They like this. So for a few months, people like tolerated as best they could. Yeah.

It's my audience is so different now. The Australian audience is quite different to the American audience. I'm getting a lot of like, maybe because the dam is breaking. And like there's no one doing. I don't like a less tame stuff.

But boy, the people coming out in Australia. They're shouting. Shouting. So excited. It's a lot of that.

They pumped up. They're ready to go. They're having their 16 standard drinks for the evening. Yeah.

But overall, it's incredible.

But you're getting a lot of people coming to see you. So there's nothing I've ever done. That's really cool because those the thing about Jeffries is that he didn't really develop the same kind of following in Australia as he did in America. His audience in Australia is more buggy than in America.

He's got liberals coming in. But in Australia, they just wanted him to do a shoey. They were brutally demanding that he'd do a shoey. brutally demanding. Do it.

Do it now. I went. I just played a club and I saw. It was nice. They've started putting up all the pictures of the Americans.

It was the comics land in Melbourne. I did that the night before I left. And I got a photo of you on the wall that you would sign. Young Tony Hinch Cliff. Back before he had any testosterone and his body.

And it was like a thinness star roast and all that come town boys. It's you and everyone has been through there. Mark Norman. Great club. It's really the closest club to like an American club.

This really has. And they're lovely boys. And I stunk it up. I was nervous because I was coming out here. It's just the night before I flew out.

And I was sure I wouldn't get in the country.

I was fucking with your head. I can't believe I got in.

“I was like, I think my passport's falling apart.”

I started to have a panic attack. But my visa's in the passport. So I went to the passport office and they were like, it might be okay. We don't know. They wouldn't give me like a firm answer.

And if I get in, I was like, I don't want to call you and say, I'm sorry. I've been held up at the border. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, but I made it in. It's so nice being back.

It is. Oh man. I'm having big feelings. Do you think you're going to stay in Australia? How are you going to do this?

I'm going to idea. Try to keep popping back and forth. Are you going to try to move back here again? This is my. Back and forth at the moment is the plan the issue when we came out for that Ohio gig.

I never like decided with my wife that we would move to America.

We never had a conversation about it. She came over. We were meant to be here for three months and it turned into two incredible years. But like we were homeschooling the kids. We were not in a good position to do that.

We have no family. We tried to hire like a nanny. I didn't know how to fucking do that. I've never had someone work for me before in my home. I didn't know how to communicate.

Right. God. And then getting family over here is tough. But I would like to. I'm looking at how one does that.

But it's like a hole. I understand why when people come to America by when immigrants come. They're like, you go to a neighborhood full of people like you. Right. And you get your cousin over here and his cousin.

Right. Because you know, you can't be like a lot. You've got to have family. Yeah.

And for me, I was thrilled.

I mean, I like the fraternity of being a comedian. It's unbelievably every problem you have. People know about it. People, you know, if there was a club that was screwing me and everyone in the green rooms. Like, yes.

And his her name is Julie. And she's a fucking can't. You know, whatever. I feel like you feel known and heard and people can help you and you mesh in. But like, terms of raising kids and family.

It's, uh, it was why, as an immigrant, not knowing how to like. Are the schools safe? I didn't know because people talk about public schools in America. And they go, the kids will get shot or let shut their decks off. I didn't.

Some for everybody, you know? Or like, then there's nice Catholic schools. But you got to like travel around. I was, we were over at heads. It's quite a few Catholic schools in Austin.

Some of them are great. Yeah. I did a deep dive on them before I. I'm trying to figure it out. What it would look like.

But I have no idea. So, is your wife willing to try it again? Yeah. I don't know if you can get a little in head of drive. That's it.

She's going to head of drive. That's the big hold up. That's a, that in Austin, that was a big, that was a big problem. If all I was trying is not that hard. I keep saying it.

I keep saying, but she'll learn. Yeah. I believe in her. We'll figure out the kids. She's happy there.

And also I have beautiful friends. She's like, you might share it. Where's there? I'm sorry, an satellite. Oh.

And I said, we also, I struggled to find a parachute. I struggled to find a church.

“And I've realized that's very important for me.”

If I don't have my like, I love my priest. There's something about immigrating that is bad for the, you know, I mean, like, even though Australia has so many problems, there's something inside of me that isn't a Australian person. And America is maybe the most welcoming country to immigrants in the world.

But there's, I do feel some sense that I'll never get to be an American.

Why not? America's a melting pot. Yeah. There's a lot of chunks in there that haven't blended in with the other parts of the pot. Oh, you don't think so?

No. You fucking pop over here. And you start doing arenas. You'll feel American as fuck. Okay.

It's just a matter of you achieving a financial level of success. That's commensurate with your talent. That's all. Sometimes when the flag is going and the fireworks are popping off in the sky. I think I'm going to come.

Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Dude, you can see the ego in my mind. If you start doing really well out here, you'd fit in really well.

I mean, and every time you do podcasts, every time you do specials, yeah. Every time you put it somewhere on YouTube and do kilotowny, it all just compounds.

“Like, that's why I was telling you, like, this is the terrible time for you to leave,”

because you literally on the launching path. I know. And you look at how guys like Shane went from, you know, being respected comedian in New York to being a fucking giant national talent. Yeah.

After the SNL stuff, like it's just about being good and getting the message out there. And if you're good, people will love comedy. They'll find you, man. They'll don't embrace you. I'm going to cry.

You were really lovely to me when I was when I had to go. And the things you said about me and how. Anyway, I want to go into, I can't. I've had one glass of whiskey now. And if I talk about my emotions and whatever, I got to stop.

Well, you're really talented. And it's not often in life where someone gets to find themselves in a position like you were in. Where you were being embraced by all these very successful other comedians that were willing to help you.

So all these podcasts you go on. It was just a matter of time for you. Well, you took off. There's a matter of time. You were right there.

And the talent is the most important thing.

The most difficult thing is to be good. So once you get past that, then it's just about letting the world know. Well, this is a really good time to imagine. Getting to like. I did three sets last night and two sets the night before.

And I just like something is. You just have a little idea at the first one. I changed that a little bit. And then the game of it starts again. And I'm very happy right now.

It's like, I get to do it even just every night for the next month. Month in a bit. I get to do like one or two hours every single night. And spots are in town all this week. Yeah.

It's like a hard time coming back to Australia. Stare those fucking kangaroos. Yes, I am. It'll be fun.

“So do you think that you could envision a scenario where your wife would be open to try it again?”

Yeah. Okay. But I don't know when. And I don't know how it will work. And I do love Adelaide.

Like when I'm there, I have some sense of being at home that he's profound. Like I look up at the sky and I feel like there's a roof over me. Like in a comforting way. Like you belong there. Yeah.

But it's also maybe the worst place to develop is this thing. I mean, we've had great stand-ups come out of there. And I love Adelaide. And you know, there are people running rooms, but like we don't have a club. We don't have a club.

We don't have one club going.

Well, there's a city of 1.4 million people.

And there's no. We have a place where they do comedy. In terms of like, like a ball. Tuesday Friday, Saturday, early show, late show. Line up shows 10, 15 minutes.

It's not there. But do you have enough talent to support a club? It comes in waves in the way that any medium-level comedy city. Like all of a sudden it'll build up and there will be great people. And then they'll all go.

People go to Melbourne, Sydney. Right.

“And I will say that's been one nice thing about Australia, not letting talent come through for so long.”

And also the UK declining is I now know heaps of people who've come to America. Like after me and just before me. And there are heaps of Aussies flooding into this country now. Amos, my best friend, Amos Gil just got pasted the seller. And I'm so proud of him.

He's just kicking all the time and he's getting to eat just recorded a special in Denver. Nice. Yeah. And it's like a black freeman is doing well. And all these Aussies are hitting me up and going, "Can you get me into the mothership?"

And it's like, "Well, not you, but you know, maybe some other ones." That's the problem. Right. I don't know how many I've put on in front of Adam on the Mondays, but I've had to stop. Yeah.

You can't use up that currency on people that don't deserve it. Because you want to help people, but you can't. They have to be ready. And they have to put in the work. There's a lot of people that think you're going to provide them with a shortcut.

And they really haven't prepared properly. Yeah. And they haven't put in the work to get to that point. We had a few of those guys come from L.A. That were like their careers had floundered horribly in L.A.

Due to laziness and fueling the blank. And then they tried to restart themselves in Austin. I'm like, "No." Like, "You can't half-ass this thing."

“This thing is hard to do, and there's too many people trying to do it all the way.”

Yeah. We're flooded with people trying to do it all the way. If you think you're going to come over and half-ass it because it's like this new place and now it'll be exciting again. And they don't know you.

No. Like, "We fucking know you." But I think people don't love it. People love the thought of being good at it. Yeah.

But when I got to open for Mark Norman in Australia, which is how I met him. And he'll do, you know, like, a 2000-seat theater early show. And then the light show. And then he'll go, "What else has opened?" Right.

Take me to the open mic with six people in it. Now. Yeah. Well, that's New York. Yeah.

New York. He's got a great documentary that they just released. It was such a good idea. I was furious. I wanted to do that with women.

What do you mean? Well, this is sort of you only have women in the audience. So you only have one kind of person. No. Not that documentary.

It's not a poetry. No, it's a documentary about him getting ready for a special. Okay. So when he's getting ready for a special, he's working out the jokes at all these different places and showing how he goes up at the stand.

Then he goes up at the cellar. And then he's talking about the development of all these bits about how the bit came together when he added this new line. And so it shows him working all the stuff out on the way to doing this special and bolder.

I didn't mean to interrupt. I didn't know about that. Yeah, it's a new one. He just put it out like 14 days ago. Did you maybe have the show that he's done?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other show with all the wokies in the audience. Yeah. How many shows is he doing? He's an animal.

He's got incredible work ethic and constantly writing.

Yeah. You've seen his pile of notes. Yes. He keeps in his pocket. He does not have a folder.

I'm like, bro, you're going to break your back. Yeah. He can't sit on a rock like that. He's got this he's siphoning through them. Yeah.

But he loves it. He wants to be doing it. You find that Norman thing? It's pretty cool. Is the bit work out and get into the special?

Yeah. It's a lot of bits.

“But it's like him showing like what the behind the scenes is like.”

He's showing him rushing from one club to go to another place to do a spot.

Yeah. Checking the line ups. Okay. I could do this and then I can leave here and go down the street. And then be back for the 10 o'clock show.

It's really interesting because especially for people that don't know what it's like. So there is pushing boulder is what it's called. Oh, it's long. It's a proper talking. Yeah.

Yeah. It's really good dude. And for a comic, you know, it's really fun. They catch him in the toilet in the beginning. Like he's in boulder.

I mean, that is what every hotel room looks like on the ride. It's great. Because it shows you what it's really like. And if you think it's easy, like you think you get to a guy like Mark Norman's level. Yeah.

That he's just, you know, no big deal. Easy. No, no, that guy is constantly grinding. He's constantly going out and writing and tweaking it. It's in his head.

Yeah. And he's talking about it in diners. He's sitting in a bodega, having a coffee going over his notes. It's really cool because it's, that's the real process. What's the willingness to be bad again?

Mm-hmm. Which is. No one wants to do that. No one wants to have a special come out and have to start again and have to suck.

“Like that Jerry Seinfeld comedian documentary.”

He's the perfect, I mean, he, I mean, they're both still doing it. What's the other guy's name? Orny? Yeah. Did you know it orny?

I did not. Orny Adams. He does not come across great in that documentary. But he's still active. I feel like they did that to him on purpose to make Jerry more likable.

That's he didn't impression it was. I feel like that's why they picked him. Yeah. I feel like they decided to pick a guy who's like way less likable. And it makes Jerry look great.

Well, I mean, the ending. Especially at the time. Because this is a young guy at the time. Yeah. He's really new to comedy.

I mean, he wasn't doing comedy that long. And then the final scene is. Cosby, right? Crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. He just loved the work. I think Cosby's. Is he not touring anymore? He's out.

He's a tie. He's out of jail to let him out. Did you see his blind now? I mean, he can still get up. I'm sure he can still throw it down.

So there was. He did let him.

“He did a round of gigs just before the first like when the trial started.”

But the allegations were out. Did you see that? No. He was doing crowdboy. I knew he was doing it.

He was doing crowdwork. Yeah. There's a line that came out. I don't think anyone got a recording. People wrote it down.

That he was. He's doing. He's riffing with the crowd. And the lady gets up and goes to the bathroom. And he says, you go away.

What's your drink? You get to a big pop. Wow. Yeah. He's still got it.

That's crazy. That's a crazy thing to say. Probably was doing bad stuff, but still. I injured. I don't know.

I would say. I had heard about that in the 90s. I heard about that on the set of news radio. And I was like, what? The drugging?

Yeah. That he drugged women. I heard about it in the 1990s. I couldn't believe it. I was like, what?

Bill Cosby? Is this white spread? People knew about this. People in Hollywood. Yeah.

Actors. So actors. It was an actress that actually told me that. Bill Cosby trucks women. But then everybody who had him on Mike.

Tonight's show or a late show. He's doing a fun interview with him. Must have heard. I don't know. You know?

I would have to know into their world. Because only Harry would have heard that before having him on the. People heard about it. At a certain point in time. It's whether or not they believed it.

Jory orders Cosby to pay nearly $60 million to X-Watres after finding

he abused her in 1972. Holy shit. Yeah. 1972. Are you, are you seeing his Facebook page?

What? His Facebook? Yeah. And well, it was while he was in prison. They were still updating it.

It's a very pro Cosby. There's like team Cosby that's still trying to keep the reputation. Positive. Yeah. There's a lot of delusional people out there.

They're in the payroll. They got to be. Could be. I mean, he's still probably has a lot of money. The Cosby show was a tremendous hit.

The records are great. Great. They were great. Yeah. I mean, he was a great talent.

Also, he's probably doing some right. Probably doing some of that. Quite a lot of right. Yeah. Quite a bit.

Although the way they. I read something about the case where they got him and they put him away. But I didn't finish.

I've never found it again.

So I don't know if it's true. But it's what I read about the evidence that they had to convict him. Where he. He was drug. His defense was that he was dragging the women.

But it was consensual and they knew they were there for a drugging. That was. I believe he's defense. I think I'm getting this right. I think I'm remembering this correctly.

And there was a lady. And the way they got him was that he. She got pneumonia afterwards because he did the drugging. And then he left her on the couch with that a blanket on a cold night. And she said, if we'd been in a relationship, he would have put a blanket on me.

But I've always thought that that was maybe only in a relationship with you.

I have the resentment to not put a blanket. I don't know that that would decide it either way. But it was weird. His defense wasn't that he wasn't there and hadn't done it. He was like, yeah.

Well, maybe there was so much evidence that he did it that they had to come up with something clever. Like, neither confirmed nor denied. Yeah.

“You have to like, work the way around it.”

That I was dragging women unconscious. They wanted to. They knew that's what the fun game was. But he's not, right? Well, I think he got out because he paid a woman off.

And so there was some sort of a deal where he paid a woman off. And part of the deal of him paying the settlement was that he can never be tried again for this. Is that double jeopardy? I don't know. Okay.

So it wasn't a criminal conviction. It was a civil conviction. And so then he was tried for it criminally. And so I think that's how he got off.

He got off because his lawyer argued that the settlement of the first here will see it here.

Immunity agreement. That's it. So it says Bill Cosby's defense successfully overturned his 2018 sexual assault conviction in 2021 by arguing that a prior prosecutor promised not to charge him, rendering his incriminating deposition testimony in admissible. The defense led by Jennifer Bungin argued that using his testimony violated his rights framing the prosecution as a violator of due process.

Using his testimony violated his rights. Because it was part of his willingness to testify was that he couldn't be prosecuted for it criminally. Yeah. Whatever. That's spooky.

It's crazy. It's crazy. It's just crazy that this guy did this for decades. Yeah. It's not like there's a story of one weird night where someone woke up and had a headache and go,

“I think this motherfucker puts up in my drink.”

No, it was decades. And it was also like he joked around about it in the Cosby show. Like using a special barbecue sauce. Did you use my special barbecue sauce to get to everybody horny? I didn't know about this.

Oh yeah. Find that Spanish fly joke. Yeah. Yeah. He talked about on the tonight show giving people a Spanish fly.

Like giving people a drink that would make him horny. But there was an epic story. Yeah. He had a special barbecue sauce that would make people horny on the Cosby show. Look at this.

Well, it certainly is nice to see them work things out for themselves. It's my barbecue sauce. My barbecue sauce. I didn't even notice that after people have something in my barbecue sauce. After while when it kicks in, it all hurt me bugging.

It was tough. I'm dead serious. Haven't you ever noticed that after one of my barbecue's and they have the sauce, people want to get right home? What's the music?

I got a cup of it up on the night table. Oh, Bill. I got a cup of it, I said. Left it up to breathing.

“Why don't you give the chicken to these people as grown up and have some sauce?”

So here's the rest of the chicken, you guys. Creepy, right? That was his move. That music was not part of the original Cosby show. I wish it was.

Yeah. It would be great if it was.

I had never seen that before.

Yeah. My special barbecue sauce. Yeah. There was a sign for what episode where he drugs a woman so he can play with her toys. Am I getting that right?

That's true. Yeah, there's an episode where there's some sort of like sleeping medication. And he gives a tour so he can play with her toys. She has like figurines and collectibles. She wants to play with.

And so he doesn't want her to know. He date rapes the woman. He doesn't have six with her. It gets her unconscious so that he can play with her figurines. I think that's the secret date rapes.

I'm filled, episode. Am I getting that right? The drug. Jerry uses food with high-trip to fan, turkey or medic medicine to make her drowsy. Which he brags about doing multiple times.

Wow. He's a sense of playing with celious, pristine toys, including an original GI Joe and a Matel football game. 1997. Special barbecue sauce is creepy as fuck.

I want to sample that and rapes. He sounds so. He's also. I know. It was a whisper.

Yeah. It makes me uncomfortable. The man's got time. We've got to say the man. The delivery is unquestionably.

I wonder if he's not still in the road.

He can't still be. I don't think he's doing anything. I think he's probably in hiding. We're like a 95-year-old man. He's a 95-year-old man.

I think he's least partially blind. Yeah. And obviously a pariah.

“Did you have a watch the last Jimmy Fallon set that he did?”

No.

He rides around on his back.

On Jimmy Fallon's back? Yeah. Okay. Why would Jimmy Fallon agree to that? I don't remember.

I don't know that he did. I mean, Jimmy Fallon's up in a bat. He's having a nice time. Yeah. I remember.

I remember.

And then it was like weeks later.

Jimmy Fallon's ride on Bill Cosby's back. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's not having. That's even weirder because Bill Cosby's really old.

I'd be like, bro, what if your D's give out? Maybe he was saying that he was strong.

“But I think that was just before it came out.”

I think it was, I think it was Hannibal Bueris. This is 2023. No. This is when they uploaded it. It would have to be.

Oh, 2014. Correct. We got wrapped this. Oh, man. I love you, buddy.

It's good to see you back. Thank you. Mike, see you tonight? Yeah. It's good to see you back.

Thank you. Mike, see you tonight? Yeah. It's good to see you back. Thank you.

Mike, see you tonight? Yeah, it's good to see you back. Thank you. Mike, see you tonight? Yeah, it's good to see you back.

Thank you. Mike, see you tonight? Yeah, it's good to see you back. Yeah, it's good to see you back. Yeah, it's good to see you back.

Mike, see you tonight? Yeah, it's good to see you back. Thank you.