Cat People: The Moth Podcast

And those absolutely adorable sounds you're hearing right now are from my cat Potato. Say hi Potato. As you might be able to guess, I am a cat person. I was born into a family of four cats and two human parents. I'll let you guess who is more important.

I had no choice but to be a cat person. But that said, I have just continued to fall more and more in love with these fluffy little weirdos throughout my life.

“But even if you're not as enthusiastic about cats as I am, you have to admit they're”

interesting creatures. I mean, there's a reason cat videos dominate the internet. So to celebrate both cats and cat people, we've got two stories all about cats. I know Potato is excited. Or maybe she's just hungry.

First up is David Rodriguez, who told this at a Berkeley story slam where the theme was

"Love Hurt's." Here's David, live with him off. For a man, a miscarriage is a particular kind of pain. And if anyone is thinking like, for a man really, well that's kind of the point because even as I'm going through one of the most painful experiences in my life, I'm very

aware that my wife is going through more pain, physical pain, the same loss that I'm feeling, and also just society and gender things, I don't really understand, but I know how real they are and the ticking clock doesn't help they call it a geriatric pregnancy. I don't know the medical field needs like a marketing person or something. She didn't want to talk about it and you know that might serve a lot of men very well,

but I'm a Berkeley beta male, like I talk about it. That's how I go.

“This is an Iowa where she grew up, you know, and she's a stoic person.”

She just conquers life and she didn't want to talk about it.

So I couldn't talk about it because I didn't want her to see me cry or anything like

that. And then you go into this post miscarriage purgatory period where you can't plan anything. You don't know what's going to happen. You don't know if it's forever, what it means, and the doctor just kind of doesn't give you good information.

It's all mistreat. It's like no science. It's all painful, and we just kind of went back to our life and kind of pretended that being able to drink champagne again was this awesome thing when it really wasn't. And one day I was laying in bed and I was thinking about my childhood and I said to her,

"I'd really like to get a fish tank." And she turned to me and said, "That is a terrible idea. You're not going to clean it. You don't know anything about fish." And she got up and she stormed off and slammed the bathroom door behind her.

And you're probably making the connection that there was a larger thing going on here. But at the time I was just pissed off that she didn't like my awesome fish tank idea and I didn't put it together. And then she came back and she looked at me and she said, "I want a cat." And we had that conversation before.

And it was, "I'm allergic to cats." Like there's nothing to talk about. Like this is one argument I should win. And she said, "Are you really allergic to cats? Is that the truth?"

And I was like, "I think it is, yeah." And I just couldn't say, "No." But I had a plan, okay. We'll go to Cat Town. I'll play along.

She'll see me have this terrible allergic reaction. She'll know that we can't do this. And then maybe we'll have that other conversation we're going to have and maybe I'll get a fish tank. Instead we left Cat Town with two cats.

And a Cat Town, they kind of counsel you like you're a criminal.

“They're like, "Don't, you know, like, are you ready for this?”

These are feral cats that we recondition and they're not going to love you and are you ready to not be loved?" And I saw she was not hearing any of this. She's like, "Those are those people, they don't love, they're going to love us." But when we brought them home, one of them kind of was comfortable.

The other one hid, and it just like you would just hear a hiss as you were walking around the house. You didn't know where it was coming from. And my wife rude, she just took it on. I would come home and there'd be piles of boxes of toys and cat trees that I'd be like,

"We already have a cat tree." She's like, "We have one." But mostly I would come home and her butt, I would go into the bedroom, not even realizing she came over and worked, didn't come say hi to me. And she would be half under the bed, because that's where hemlock hid.

And she would spend hours inch by inch building trust with its animal. And so one night, hemlock jumped into the bed and smuggled with her, and she put her forehead against her.

And I've never heard her do a voice before.

It was very giant. She went, "Hey, baby, hey, baby." And then we fell asleep and I woke up to hemlock ripping my feet to shreds. And this every day, every night, no sleep.

But I couldn't bring myself to say, "Let's not have hemlock sleep in the bedroom because

“of this larger thing we weren't talking about."”

And I guess that's chivalry, I guess. I don't know, letting hemlock shred my feet. And then one day at work, I was in a meeting with my manager and he had actually had a baby recently and he had actually named her, but we were going to name our child. He didn't know that.

And he was distracted the whole time because she was doing adorable things. And after the meeting, I went to my bedroom and I just sobbed uncontrollably and was confronting that I don't know if I was ever really honest myself about how badly I wanted this. And I laid him bed and I just sobbed deeper and harder and louder than I ever had. And hemlock jumped on the bed.

I hid my feet out of instinct and he laid on my chest and just started rubbing his face against mine. And so now I was crying tears of joy and sadness at the same time and petting hemlock and then also reaching mama, I phone for one hand to take a video because I know the rules. And I wanted to show the people a cat town that they were wrong about us because they

would send us like these shaming pictures of hemlock in the laps of the volunteers. Be like, "Oh, it worked for us." Anyway, I recently read some research that, you know, my allergy. It just went away. I don't know how she does it.

She's right about everything. She wins every argument.

“She still thinks I was lying and I was like questioning like, how did she win that argument?”

And like, what did I ever have it literally? Like, who won the election? Like, what is truth? Like, you know, like, what's going on? So I don't know how she did it, but she wins everything.

That's, wife is always right.

That's the lesson. Get two cats. And I read this research that people that grow up with animals are less likely to have allergies. And that made me so happy because when our son is born in a couple months, he's going to be a cat person.

Thank you. That was David Rodriguez. David lives in Oakland, California, where he is the education director for St. Vincent's Day Home, the nation's oldest nonprofit child care center. He's has been to Rue and father, too, in order of appearance.

Feelings, hemlock and bergamot, and humans, Gilbert and Heron. David told us that he still dislikes cats in general, but he does like their cats. And he's still mystified why his cat allergy mysteriously disappeared. If you'd like to see some photos of those cats, we'll have them on our website at themoth.org/extras, they're really cute.

I named my cat potato, because, like, an actual potato, she is round, typically said entirety, and therefore perfect for me. I enjoy knitting, reading, and being in a reclining position. I am an indoor person. When I moved to an apartment with a balcony, however, I was excited to offer potato

a semi-inclosed outdoor space. She was initially nervous, but quickly became obsessed with being outside. As soon as she heard the knob turn, she'd shoot like a rocket out the door, immediately flopping down and rolling around in the dirt. As any cat owner knows, what the cat wants, the cat gets.

To make sure she was safe, I'd supervise her, so that meant that I too had to be outside. All the time. I mean, I did not fully anticipate the level of commitment this cat would have to the outdoors. I sit with her in 90-degree heat, dripping sweat, or bundled in sweatshirts in November,

sometimes for hours on end, and I started loving it. Sure, it takes a little more effort than a lazy day on the couch, but it's so worth it. Making her happy makes me happy, and I also started to fully appreciate the joys of basking in the sun, being surrounded by greenery and feeling the breeze. So now potato and I lay around together, both inside and outside.

To see a photo of potato enjoying the sunshine, you can visit our Instagram or Facebook, and I'm not the only one who loves cats here at the moth, so I'll have even more cat picks from everyone here. Up next, another cat story. From another very reluctant cat dad, back in a moment.

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Welcome back. Our next story is from Gianmarco Suraisy, who told us in a New York story slam where the theme was outnumbered. Here's Gianmarco, live with me.

Hello? Thank you very much. So the way I tell the story really depends on one quick thing.

“Could I get a round of applause if you're more of a cat person?”

OK, I could I get a round of applause if you're more of a dog person. If you're more of a bird person, sorry, no votes tonight, but great. So I feel kind of safe to say I hate cats. It's not their fault, it's not their fault, per se.

It's just that my first memory, and I've done a lot of therapy, but my first memory in this

world is when I was three years old, and my mom and I were moving into her new boy friend's house, and he had a cat named Smokey. I went to pet Smokey, and as cats are apt to do when you show affection, Smokey scratched my face, eyes, nose, mouth, there's blood, it was so bad. So that's the back story, my first memory in this world is my soon to be step-father's cat,

“wounding me, which obviously carried a lot of metaphorical weight as well.”

And I thought that my girlfriend knew this. I thought we were on the same page about this, that I wasn't really into having cats. Until one day we were coming home from our weekly, pay what you can, yoga class, or as I call it, our weekly, free yoga class, and we're walking home to my apartment, and we turn a corner, there was a man there, crumpled gray suit, holding a cardboard box, and

in the cardboard box were five kittens.

And entirely unprompted, he launches into a monologue, basically, he says that he's a funeral

director, and he was leaving a service that morning, he heard some mouse by the steps, saw the box, no note or anything, and he thought they were adorable, but his wife was very allergic, so he simply could not keep them. And I could see where this was going. So I said, my girlfriend, let's go, we need to go home, I have a business meeting.

And she said, you know, can I pat them, and I said, okay, fine, so she starts patting them, then she starts holding them, then she starts naming them, and I'm like, all right, we got to go.

So we turned to leave, and that's when this guy says, to no one in particular, they're

very clearly to us. Well, if no one adopts them by the end of the day, I'm going to have to drown them in my pool. You know, because those are your only two options in that situation. And without saying a word, my girlfriend turns, grabs the box, and just gallops off into

the sun, and says, not even in the right direction, just like a mother lioness with her cubs, and when I found her somewhere in the heights, she swore to me. She swore to me that she would have them in a shelter by the end of the week. Long story short, I'm living in a litter box on the upper west side. And I want you to know that I tried, I tried really, because I love this woman.

“I love the impulse that she had to take these, I think it's the same impulse that made”

her like me, because in many ways, I think maybe one of the reasons that I don't like cats is maybe I'm a cat, in the sense that I am also an asshole. But I was doing okay, because there was this one cat that I really liked that she had named Baby, which again, a lot of metaphorical weight with these cats. The reason that she named Baby Baby was because she, or she, I didn't check, but Baby

was the runt of the litter, which meant that Baby didn't really move very much. And I find that that's the one state that I can enjoy a cat and is when they're borderline comatose. And I used to put, I loved Baby, I would lie down, I would put Baby on my stomach, I would just pet Baby for hours, and it was just like, I really enjoyed Baby.

But of course, Baby, as babies do, grew older and started moving and running around and one day, I went to pick up Baby and Baby scratched me. Right on my face, eyes, nose, mouth, there's blood.

those five cats, and I really miss her."

“And sometimes I miss those goddamn cats, thank you guys.”

What was Jan Marco Cerezi? Jan Marco is a stand-up comedian and host of the downside podcast. His comedy special "Thee of Joy" is now available on YouTube.

Funnily enough, this story slam was the reason he pivoted to stand-up comedy full-time.

We asked him about his feelings towards our "Feel-in" friends these days, and he told

“us that he still terrified of cats, although he did recently headline a furry convention,”

and is considering a cat for "Sona" for the next one he does. Please do a Jan Marco and send us photos.

That brings us to the end of our episode.

To all of the cat people out there, I hope you feel seen. And to all of the holdouts, I hope you now realize what you've been missing.

“Thanks so much for joining us, and big thanks to my co-host potato.”

From all of us here at The Moth, we hope you and your cats have a story worthy week. Emily Couch is a producer on The Moths artistic team. She loves to work behind the scenes to spread the beauty of true personal stories to listeners around the world. Emily's co-host potato is a cat.

This episode of The Moth podcast was produced by Sarah Austen-Geness, Sarah Jane-Johnson and me, Mark Salinger. The rest of the Moths leadership team includes Gina Duncan, Christina Norman, Marina Cluchai, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardinalae, Caledonia Cairns, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust, and Patricia Urania.

The Moth podcast is presented by Odyssey, special thanks to their executive producer Leah Restennis. All Moth stories are true as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website, TheMoth.org.