Get in the Driver’s Seat of Your Own Life

>> Brought to you by the every dollar app, start budgeting for free today. [MUSIC]

“>> Normal is broke and common sense is weird.”

So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fairwins' Credit Union Studio. This is the Ramsey Show. And I am Rachel Cruz hosting it this hour with Dr. John Deloni. And we'll be taking your calls and the lines are open.

So give us a call, a trip late 85, a five, two, two, five.

All right, first up, we're going to a little rock arc and saw.

And we have Dylan on the line, hi, Dylan. >> Hi, how are you? >> Hi, we're doing great, how can we help? >> Well, I'm being kind of in a situation and I'm trying to figure out how to dig myself out of a hole.

>> All right, so what's going on? So I'm 28, you know, I married two kids, a five-year-old and a three-year-old. About three years ago, we were kind of in a situation, we were renting a house. It was just disgusting, it was mold-infested, our second was on the way. And we decided to buy a house and it was not really a great time to buy it, but we didn't

really have an option. I don't feel like we really bought out of our means, it's just been

a lot of things happening leading into it.

>> Okay. >> And then attacking stuff on top of it, bought the house for about 149,000. We were doing good. My son got really sick, started developing seizures. We fought that for several weeks, destroyed the next day that I had put back for us.

And we're trying to stay caught up on bills. We ended up falling behind on the mortgage and I had to refinance it for a higher interest rate. And a longer term, and every year, the payments just steadily got up and up and up and up. We got some vehicle payments and some other loans and stuff like that that would just kind of tacked on top of it.

And we're not necessarily like extremely behind, I'm running about a month behind right now, but I can't see you to get caught up. >> To get ahead. Yeah, you sounds tired and this is Jewish and what you laid out to us, it's a lot. There's, you have a lot that you guys are juggling.

Okay, so how much are you making per year? >> So me, I'm making right around 82,000 a year. >> Okay. >> My wife just started a new job and roughly, which is making supposed to be around 35,000 a year, but she just started, she looked paid once a month and we don't even know what a full paycheck

I heard it was going to work like this yet.

“>> Okay, so she's not received a paycheck from that yet, that's what you're saying.”

Okay, so household income per month, that's going to hit your account. I know you don't know from your wife, but if you know what she's making, I mean, so you guys probably are going to hit around 10k, would you say? >> Not quite. I'm, I'm bringing home roughly $4,400 a month after taxes and $44,000, but you make 80?

>> Right, so that's with a, they give us a tool bonus that's like $1,600 after taxes and help insurance and everything. I'm supposed to be bringing home around 1500 before taxes and I'm bringing home right at about $1,100 and $1,200, so the 244, I guess, maybe a little bit more. >> Per wait, did you get a big tax refund?

>> No. >> In April? >> Okay, are they pulling anything out for retirement? >> I did put a stop on it, I was putting in around 9%, but then I found out the company that

started matching until after the first year, so I was like, well, I could use the money now,

so I put a stop to it, and so now I'm just bringing home whatever I get after taxes.

“>> Okay, I would double try, that's what, you're missing about $20,000.”

>> Yeah, that feels super low. That's like half of your income going to taxes and healthcare, and I don't think that's the case. >> Right. >> So I would double check that, I would talk to your HR to part, I would, I would look

through, I mean, you just filed taxes and we just passed tax season, so you should know, it, but for you guys, so it's basically like if she brings home two brands a month, 6400, so what do you, so debt, let's talk about the cars, you said you have two car payments, how much do you owe on the cars? >> Yeah, the car we owe, right around 12 to 13,000, I'm not 100% because it's been kind

else just falls on me.

“I take care of everything else, my truck payment was proud to do that, we started talking”

about it, I needed a truck for the things that I was doing on a little side job that I was trying to help a friend with, so I bought a truck, and, for a side job for your friends, you're such a good friend. >> Yeah. >> How much does this truck cost?

>> $45,000, I'm not sure if it cost. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000.

>> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000.

>> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000.

>> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000. >> It cost $45,000.

So, okay, so you got the two car loans, keep going. What do you guys have in credit card debt? >> I don't really have any credit card debt. I got about $800. >> There's your wife?

>> No, just for some more. >> Okay, so that's another flag here, Dylan. You guys don't really know what's going on in your household. Between you and her, the two adults, the two adults that are supposed to be in charge of taking care of a household and these two kids, you guys don't know what's going on.

You don't know what's going on with each other. You can't. You tell, you say that's her responsibility, the car, and she just takes care of that.

“And then I'm over, and I'm like, are you two roommates?”

>> No. >> And part of it, honestly, though, Dylan, part of the synergy is that you guys are so scattered. You're making decisions on urgency in a situation. You're not coming together and talking about this. That's one of the benefits of getting married.

You have two adults sitting in the room with two different brains. You actually get to lean on each other and talk. And you guys are making decisions and vacuums, and you're making them urgently in desperate

situations, which usually always equals bad financial decisions.

>> Because bro, a wife with one ounce of care about her husband would have said, "Please don't buy a truck that you can't afford." >> For your friends from your family. >> Bernie's neighbors roommates dog. >> Like, you know what I mean?

>> It's kind of wonderful. It's not, it is. >> It is, you know, honestly, it's heard, like, really, pushing it to be this way. It's been a way that I was raised.

>> All right. >> The way you raised sucks. Okay. So let's do this. >> Yeah.

>> Starting today, you sit down with your wife and you apologize and say, "I've wronged you. I have left you out in the cold. I've tried to do all this myself, and I'm doing a bad job. I keep digging us a deeper and deeper and deeper whole."

>> Yeah.

“>> And until you take control, the only thing that happened to you in this is that your kid had seizures.”

And God bless anybody who's going through, there could be a sick. You guys didn't have to buy a house. You didn't have to buy a truck. You didn't have to just make your wife like you deal with this on your own. You've got it.

You don't even know what's on your own paycheck, brother. You have to get in the driver's seat of your own life. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to own this thing. So say on the line, and Christian's going to pick up, and we're going to give you guys a year of every dollar.

Because our goal for you, the very first step, Dylan, together tonight, sit down with your wife.

Open up that app, start plugging some numbers in, and use some of the content in there to start creating a step, which are the baby steps. You need to get a thousand dollars, we're going to see fun. And then you guys need to start attacking this step. It's eating up your income.

You have to get out of debt, and you do nothing with your life. Nothing with your life, but sell stuff and get out of debt. [MUSIC] >> This show is sponsored by Better Health. Financial stress is not just damage or bank accounts.

It can also take a toll on our mental and emotional health and our relationships. Money worries cause anxiety, and they're one of the leading sources of conflict for all types of couples. I know this. My wife and I have struggled with money conflicts for years. Listen, therapy can help even with money conversations. Therapy is not about financial advice, but it can help you build healthier ways of coping.

Give you strategies to communicate about money and give you a plan moving forward. I want you to consider talking to my friends at Better Health. Better Health is an online therapy platform that matches you with the license therapist based on your goals and preferences. Better Health Therapist work according to a strict code of conduct and they are fully licensed in the United States. You can message your therapist and schedule sessions right in the platform.

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[Music] Up next, we have Andy in Minneapolis. Andy, welcome to the show. Oh, hold on. Hi, thank you for taking my call.

Hi, absolutely, how can we help today? I am recently divorced. I left a 15 year abuse of marriage and just figuring out my own finances for the first time in my life. And my question is kind of about my kids, though.

I have 12 year olds who are incredible entrepreneurs.

Started their first business five years ago. Are starting additional ones this year. And they're doing well financially. And I'm wondering how to teach them and guide them about finances when I am so new to this myself. What are they doing?

Well, a few years ago, they started a beverage business. And they sell beverages at events and concerts and like vendor shows. And now one is starting a 3D printing business. And one is starting a science facts. YouTube and channel and happens to us.

Good for them, Andy. I'm trying to get my kids to pick up dog poop in the backyard. This is incredible. Well, they don't do that either. They don't do that.

“Okay, so are you asking specifically, like how they manage the money they're making?”

Or is it just more an overall question of, hey, like what? The money that they're making. Okay, I understand that business expenses and budgeting, but they are earning thousands of dollars. And I don't know how to guide them other than just put it in a bank account and don't make tons of big purchases. I just haven't had the capacity to share more to teach them.

Totally. Gosh, so impressive. Well, you know, the way I look at it with my kids, I'm an 11 year old. She's my oldest. And so we're starting to talk a little bit more beyond what I'm about to tell you.

But I think it's just starting with the basics of them practicing the three big buckets of money, which is giving, saving and spending.

And when you think about it as adults, it's basically all we can do with money.

You can be more sophisticated within those buckets, but like that's, that's it. And so being able to do all three, if you're an adult and you can do all three well, you're a pretty well rounded person with money. I would say you have a pretty healthy grasp on it.

“It's when people get to the extremes that it becomes difficult, right?”

They spend everything they make and they're broke. Or they save everything and they become hoarders and they're not fun. Enjoyable people to be around because they're just obsessed with you know, keeping money like it. They're not generous people in that way. So I think the teaching them and letting them experience all three is going to be big.

And so I mean, we take kind of the old school approach, which is what we tell adults to do is, you know, give some of your money. They have a 10% like, whatever you make, 10% of it, needs to go somewhere. And that can be at a local church if you're there.

It could be at something that they're passionate about. It doesn't have a nonprofit, whatever it looks like. But I think cultivating the spirit of one of the first things we do is work givers like we give and there's something in that habit that I think is so beautiful. I think saving is really big.

I mean, they'll be 16 here before you know it. And so I'm like, I don't know if there's a really big purchase that they can be working towards like a car. And I don't know if they save for half you match half. I don't know what that looks like. That could be, that could be a really good tangible goal.

And for some 12 year olds, it probably feels far away, but you're a sound like they're pretty, they're pretty in line with looking at big numbers, right, which would be like a bigger purchase like a car. And then letting them enjoy some of it. And then letting it, you know, having a percentage that they enjoy some of it.

I mean, they are 12, you know, they're making great money. So if there's something fun, they want to buy. Then that's great too, right?

“I think they're helping legalistic about it, but I think the three rhythms of that give saved spend.”

I think it's going to be really big. And that's more the tactical side of money, but there's also the emotional side of that contentment in that. You know what I mean, like there's the emotional side of money, but for now that's probably where I would steer you from a tactical side. And I'll just tell you, I wouldn't tell you to do something I don't do a my own house. My 10 year old, she actually works a lot.

She's always looking for ways to make more money.

I have a recent 16 year old who, since he was 12, he's been saving up for the truck he just bought. And so, but we just put it in a regular checking, I mean, regular savings account. And even for my son, my wife connected it to a telecount. I don't even know what that is, but that's how she pays him and puts it in there.

When you say they make thousands.

Do they make 3,000 or do they make one? It's been I think 8,000 each overall, like for the past few years, but the one has like 5,000. And he asked me about investment account to the other day and I have no idea. So the line the standard line is the biggest investment you can make right now is in you. And so let's say we're going to pay cash for a car.

We're going to put some money away for schooling if we want to end up doing that.

“If you want to start this as if you graduate from high school and you want to decide you want to go full time into entrepreneurship.”

You're going to need some seed money. And so the line that I use in my house is the biggest investment you can make right now is not in market returns. It's in you. Then when you get out of college, it's what we want to start looking at at big market returns. Yeah, because for a lot of investing, it is for a long term.

It's a long term mindset, like you know, especially a retirement investing. You're going to touch it till you're 59, right? And a 12 year old doesn't think we're thinking about that. Where the math is fun and for them to understand logically my parents say that they taught us about mutual like this is what this can do.

But the reality is you're going to need cash on hand to buy a car at 16 year and you cash for college.

You're going to need cash. My parents even told me when you graduate college. And that transition from college to the real world, whether you need first month's rent last month's rent for your first apartment. You got to buy it. You know, furniture like there there is in the next 10 years of his life or her life.

They're going to need cash and majority people don't even have that. And so they end up, you know, in the negative as they start adulthood.

“So having that there, where compound interest and everything, they're going to be fine if they start investing at 21, 22, right?”

So I really, in my mind, I wouldn't because I wouldn't even put money in like, oh, buy a stock here and watch it grow because we don't even teach single stuff. Like, I wouldn't even get in the habit of that. So I would have a tangible thing that they're saving for. That they're invested in and usually the car is it for most teenagers, which is great. And then, hey, where can we continue to enjoy some of this and give some of it?

And Andy, I'll say to you, I mean, Kudos to you, we always say more is cotton taught, which is so true in your situation.

What you've just walked through as you just flip it. Like, kind of set it at the beginning. Like, I left, I left an abusive marriage and I'm on my own. I'm like, you, you are incredible. And so having a mom who is figuring the stuff out and has the humility to learn and to ask and be curious about all of this. Like, they're going to learn so much from you too without you even saying a word.

So your example already of what you set for them is beautiful. And bring them in, bring them into light, middle conversations and bring them in. Do you want to do a basic run through of your budget? Your, your kids are pretty business savvy. Show them what stuff costs and you'll see your kids start to turn the lights off. And you'll see your kids looking at like the little bicker with each other.

Like, it's at 74, let's move it to 76. We can say, like, you'll see that kind of stuff happening, but let them watch you figure it out. I, on, on not all the time, but a couple of times a year, I'll hand my tithing check to one of my kids. I wanted to see that chat and they'll look at me all wide eyed and I'll say, it's not our money. Right. And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, right.

“But that, I don't like showing anybody that stuff, but that's how they're going to learn.”

Oh, my, my mom and my dad put their money where their mouth is. Right. So bring them into some of those conversations. Are you like, with the kids, like, you're a share income. My kids don't know how much money I make. I don't give them, like, because, and I don't tell them, my son knows that I've got a college account.

He did not know how much money he's in that account, because it's not his, because he'll start, he'll start spending it. Oh, dad. But, but I, um, I do show them how much stuff costs. And that, that is, that's been really eye-opening for everybody. And my daughter's 10, she's starting to come into those conversations with us.

Okay. Yeah, I, I, I think it is how, I mean, that, that 12 13 14, they can start to grasp things. And they know how much it takes to run a household and be an adult from car insurance, to health insurance, life insurance, to the wife. Even my son, he Netflix, didn't he? All these things that we have. They're doing together.

Here's how much this is. Yeah, my son the other day just said, hey, Dad, I think I'm going to drop out of high school right now. Get a job McDonald's and start, I just want to start making money and whatever. And he had factored in rent and I was like, okay, what about this and this and light bill, and he just goes, All right, I'll stay in school.

But it's just, it's, it's, it's part of their growth process. But you aren't less than just because you don't have this stuff all dialed in. Let 'em watch mom learn and that'll be the greatest gift you can give them. [Music]

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“Are you sick and tired of working so hard, but having nothing to show for it?”

Well, that is so normal for so many people because normal is broke unless and you don't have to live that way.

Our every dollar budget app helps you find extra money every month and helps you build a personalized plan to beat debt and build wealth. And in just a few minutes, you can find thousands of dollars in his margin because it's going to feel like you've got to raise. And we help you with all these prompts to be thinking outside the box of where your money is going. So don't live normal, do not live broke, start every dollar for free in the App Store or Google Play. All right, let's head to Phoenix and we have Lauren on the line.

Hi Lauren, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. Absolutely, how can we help? Okay, so my husband and I started at a read dollar app a couple months ago. He started listening to you guys and then got me on board.

And we ended up selling our truck and taking out a personal loan for the balance in getting about 50,000 knocked off of our debt. Let's go. Let's go. Good job. Yeah.

So we were super proud of that.

“And now we are actually evaluating if we should sell our house and use the profit to wipe out the rest of our debt.”

And just get a clean slate right for a couple months build up an actual down payment the right way. And just be able to kind of fast track getting debt free. So we have a significant amount of debt. So I can kind of listen out. Our monthly income is 11,700 roughly.

He's flat rate mechanic and I'm a nail tech, so it varies. Okay. But that's about what we're bringing in a month. And then we've got his student loan balance is 3650. We've got a credit card for 3600.

Our tax balance for this year is 5277. The personal loan for the truck balance into that being that 7500. Okay. We've got a solar loan attached to the house for 31,300, which we're hoping will be assumed by the next owner. That would be the goal.

And then my known net balance or my student loan balance is about 47,000. Okay. Yeah. And you had me, I was like, "Oh, you could be able to do this." And then it's like, "Oh, 70,000 more fells and dollars than any five dollars."

But you guys, before taxes, if you guys are running what, probably 130. Um, I think so. My husband would know that better than that. Yeah. Yeah, 130, 140.

Do you have little ones? Yes. We have three. We have 15, 12, 10 year olds. Okay.

And how much is your mortgage a month? A lot. It is $3,332. And we in two years have only not count 10 grand on principle on our house. Sure.

So we're like paying interest. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, it's not crazy though. In relation to your income.

I thought you were going to say it was going to be like a five thousand dollar mortgage or six thousand dollar mortgage. So yeah, your house. I don't think Lauren is the problem. Um, I mean, genuinely, like we say 25% and you guys are a little bit above that.

“But I think, um, I think over time, you guys will get within that range pretty quickly.”

Um, okay. What's that?

Go ahead. I'm sorry.

“I think where we're at is we still owe four hundred and twelve thousand dollars on the house.”

That we're not necessarily wanting to, like our kids are getting older.

They're getting into their teams. And we're kind of thinking about like the next five to ten years. Do we want to put another four hundred thousand to this house that we don't need this much space? You know, either. Yeah.

So it's like. That means that that's a debt out and start over. Well, and that's the question. Yeah. Like if if you don't love this house and you don't want to live there and you own a downside,

but that's awesome. Mm-hmm. My gut tells me. It's still on the house. Yes.

No more kids in a few years. Sure. I part of me thinks that the grind. Is what you'll need. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

That just getting up every day and figuring out, hey, can he take, can he go work in somebody else's shop on Saturdays?

And can he? And all this is hard because you'll have kids entering in those ages when you've got a 15 year old. You start counting the days, right? Like we got three years and then he's gone, right? And so I give all of that.

If you tell me, you know what, dude? We're going to sell this house anyway when one of our kids leaves. And we're going to just be four of us. Then yeah, sure. Put on the market and sell it.

Especially if that wipes out all of your debts and whatever.

“I think you're being pretty optimistic about the solar loan getting absorbed.”

But maybe not. Maybe not. But. Well, we assumed it. That's how we got it.

Okay. Okay. About the house and it's kind of a sting in our area. Okay. Yeah.

So I'm not worried about that.

I'm more worried about when I spoke to a realtor this morning. She said, we're probably not going to get close to what we would need to in order to cover. Realtor fees, enclosing cost because it's apparently a buyer's market right now. Yeah. So I'm looking at you going to the house profit would.

We've only been here for two years. And that's how. Oh, see, you don't have equity in. Yeah. Not much.

Okay. Sure. We could probably. She said we could probably sell it for 46470 and we owe 412. So that would.

So you might. Yeah. You know. Okay. So Lauren, that would be the trade on.

So listen, if you. If you guys decided to do it. Do that now. You wouldn't get. You would you make a ton.

What would you make on because you said you could barely cover all the fees. The realtor fees and everything. So you really wouldn't make a ton to pay off the present debt. It would be more of a future of saying. Oh, we only have to pay off a $300,000 mortgage versus a 450.

“And you guys feel like you can swallow that easier, right?”

Stomach that easier. So what I would. What I would suggest those I think that's a long term. Problem that you're seeing and feeling that actually may be relieved when you're debt free from consumer debt. Yeah.

And you're going to have to turn around and get rent a house for $2,500 for five people minimum, right? Probably $3,000. So it would save us a little bit. Yeah. It would save you a little bit.

But I don't think that's the big rock here. The big rock. I mean, if you told me you're going to be able to save $3,000. You had $100,000 in equity, that would make sense, but this isn't moving your position anywhere. It's, in fact, it's making your life more complicated.

Yeah. Because you guys have about six grand left after you pay the mortgage. Where is that? Where is all that going? We just replaced.

And we just started that every dollar out. We were eating our money. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

Yeah. So we've gotten better on it. Yeah. So what I would say is what's crazy about when you look all this out. And I just meant I did a rough map real quick of a calendar for you.

But I'm like, if you could find three grand a month, that's finding in every dollar. The expenses, which actually probably 2,000 of it could be sitting in there that you don't know about when you just actually shore everything up and say we're not spending anything. And then you guys go make some extra cash on the side. And in that example, you'd just be an extra 1,000 bucks. Of you working a little bit more or him working, you know, a Saturday or two a month.

You guys had could have your have your $3,000 debt knocked out. Your credit card debt knocked out. And his student loan debt all by August. Like if you threw a three grand at this stuff every single month. And then you're down to the 7,500.

And you can knock that out in two months, right? And then you're looking at the solar and your student loan debt, which will be those will take longer for sure. But I'm just saying a lot of these ankle-biter stuff. You guys really, really tighten up and say, hey, we are going to spend nothing. We are going to work extra.

And we're going to put three to four grand more than what we're doing today on this debt. You know, you know, two, two and a half years, you guys are out. You know, something we do in my house. I actually part of my kids. I don't use the word allowance, but part of the things we pay them for is each kid does one meal a week.

And so it's tough. If you're working nail tech all day, you're exhausted. Your husband's underneath machines all day. That's, have your, you got three kids.

Pay on each 10 bucks a week for a cook and or whatever.

“They get to earn a little tiny little bit of money.”

But you all save a Jillian dollars by not eating out all the time. Yeah, we've been a lot better this month, but yeah. And it's still pretty significant. Yeah. They cut it out completely.

It just comes and works in the evening. But you know, don't eat it into a cannonball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And you know what, Lauren, I would. I would just, I would grind it out because you guys, if you guys had 300,000 dollars of equity,

and you're like, we want to downsize or something.

You know, you could make it make sense. But right now, it doesn't because you don't have the equity. What you guys are barely going to even just break even on a problem. Again, that is so far in the future. I would fix this stuff in two, two and a half years.

And then you guys look up five years owning the home. If there's some equity, and you still want to downsize, then I would make that move. [ Music ] Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family,

and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes.

“Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Zander is essential,”

because it protects your family if the worst happens.

Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income. In coverage, no gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long term disability insurance. Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.

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Hi, Andrew, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you guys for taking my fall. Absolutely, how can we help? So I'm 22 years old, and I make $120,000 a year, and I have been since August, but I've been in my career for about two and a half years now.

And I kind of have a car question, so I currently drive, or I used to drive and older Toyota to come up. Now I had that, and then I had a 24-correl hybrid. So it's kind of like my computer. I drive about 25 to 30,000 miles a year. But I ended up selling my truck, because then I'm getting into an accident.

I sold it for 500 bucks more than I bought it for. And I was kind of wondering, you know, if I could be able to get into maybe another truck or a four-runner type vehicle, just because I got three dogs, I like to go camping, fishing a lot. That's like what my main hobby. I have about 25,000 in savings and 25,000 in investment for on K Roth IRA.

Yeah, kind of curious what I would be able to do. And so what are you currently driving right now? A coral hybrid. Okay. Bro, that car is going to just as is on the side.

My wife got a coral right before we got married, and I drove it forever. And I just said, as soon as this thing dies, I'll get myself something else. I finally gave up. That car will never die. You'll have that coral until the end of time.

Forever. I don't want it. I drive. Yeah, I drive a lot for work, so I get paid about 75 cents a mile. No, the price is like free.

Yes. But it's about $19,000 on the note, which I haven't paid a dime to offer. Oh, you owe $19,000 on the Corolla?

Oh, okay. My wife. I don't do that right.

I think it would be a different story.

But I would pay that off before I bought anything. And I know that's like, dude, I'm an outdoorsman. I know that's like a kick in the teeth, but running. You're one getting laid off, or you're one. They're going to reduce the mileage, or you're one.

Your current situation is based on somebody else's decision. And we wouldn't have jobs if people didn't weren't faced with that every single day. Yeah, how much is it worth? Um, my trade-in value is about 26,000. Oh, it's worth 26,000.

Well, if you could figure out a way to, to Phenagall selling it and putting a little bit of money of your 25,000, you got to pay it off and have a little bit to put towards something and get a used paid off car, or truck. I would consider that if you wanted to do that. But the thing is, you're technically on baby step two, right?

So when you're working the Ramsey Plan. Yeah.

And if you paid off the car, you'd have $6,000 and a $25,000 paid off car.

Technically, right, because what you said it was worth, you get $25,000. So what you said? Yeah. Yeah. So if that's the case, you got $6,000 in savings and a $25,000.

If you wanted to trade the $25,000 car for a $25,000 truck, you could do that, right? Like if you wanted to get something that you wanted, I'd be okay with that. And then you got to beef up that $6,000 emergency fund to probably a three month emergency fund for baby step three and then go on and for investing all of it.

But no, you don't need a brand new truck. And I don't think you need anything worth more than the car you're currently driving once it's paid off. I agree. I guess the question after that would be for my mileage per year.

Being like a high mileage driver and especially being forced to work.

How do you think that factors into like the, you know, how people talk about

the affordability of vehicles and kind of how I'm essentially bottlenecked into a certain type of vehicle as gas mileage. Because of your work. They don't pay for fuel. Yeah, well, that's going to have to be a decision that you make.

I don't know, Andrew, do you want to pay for the truck mileage, you know, and the gas for a truck? Yeah. That would be your decision. Can you do that in your monthly budget and is that worth it for you?

Well, 75 cents a mile should cover that, right? Yeah, it covers it.

“I mean, that's what that money is for now.”

Yeah, I'm profiting about, I would say, thirty five dollars a gallon of gas. Are you trying to figure out how to keep the Corolla and get a truck? That's what I wanted to do originally. That's the set up I had before.

I wouldn't do that until you twenty two. Yeah, I wouldn't do that until you paid off the Corolla. I wouldn't do it until you paid off the Corolla and. And paid cash for a truck. And paid cash for a truck.

Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, dude, I, until last year, my daily driver to work was an O6 Tundra that got like one and a half miles a gallon. But it was awesome.

And it's, again, we'll go to the, you're a Toyota guy like me. It'll go to the end of time, right? And so I, I wouldn't use this as an opportunity to upgrade. Cars and get a newer Tacoma or get a newer forward. Like if you're going to buy a camping car or buy a camping car, right?

But even then, I wouldn't do it until after I'd paid off that Corolla. Yeah.

“I think you, you say you're twenty two or twenty three is that right?”

Yep. Okay. I'm trying to picture myself at twenty two or twenty three, making a hundred, 120 grand, which I wasn't even anywhere near that world. I can't imagine that you don't think feel like you're rich and you are.

For a twenty two year old. The chat would be surprised. I really don't. Okay. Well, if you're getting seventy five cents a mile and you're driving and you're making 120 grand,

you're doing insanely well for twenty two years old. I want you to listen to two people like years after twenty two. You're literally one email away from your boss saying, hey, we're going, we can't afford it because of conflicts in the Middle East. So we're going to be on the twenty five cents a mile.

Or we're cutting jobs or whatever. And man, you're just so exposed right now, even though it didn't feel like it. Yeah. So Andrew, we would pay off your Corolla today because you have the money for it.

“And then beyond that, if you want to trade the Corolla for something else,”

you can do that. Or if you want to save up on the side to get a truck or a camping thing, and you want to, you can just pay cash and buy use. And this sounds cheesy man, but if you look at your actual life, I remember one time we, when my wife and I moved from Houston,

and I didn't want to move because I was like, man, we go to Astro's games,

how many baseball games to be go to last year?

And I was like, okay, too.

“And she said, how many trips when we were living across the state”

did we go back to Houston to see games, too? Right, so it was like, if you look at your life, and you actually go fishing once a month, go rent a truck, go rent one, and drop it off. And it will be a 150 or 200 bucks, and collar good turn the keys back in, and keep your life keep your cash to yourself.

Yeah, or God forbid, just take the Corolla. Take the Corolla, pile the dogs in. I mean, honestly. Put your tent to the truck and call it, man. Yes.

Enjoy your life. Absolutely. I know, when you put so much, so much of your money, especially you starting off Andrew, like, you got 25,000 and retirement, which is great, 25,000.

You're doing some great stuff.

But when you start to shift that focus to more consumer base, who I want this, especially to try. Especially a car, right, that you're like, okay, I'm going to just add on that on. You're just just watch the habits that you're starting to build

at 22, is what I would say. That would be my word of caution. Instead of kind of just figuring it out,

“and just getting what you need to kind of like take out,”

you know, have for your life and be like, yes, I need this car. Not so much great for work, but great for my leisure activities, or whatever that's fine. But yeah, buy in the two cars right now.

I don't know. Here's my promise. Here's my promise. 42 year old you. Well, wish.

When you're married, you got some kids.

42 year old you'll wish you had a whole bunch of money in the bank. Not two cars when you're 22. And just think about 42 year old you. You'll be able to go on some wicked, awesome camping trips when you get cash.

Yep, for sure. But you're almost there and Drew again, here I say. Like you're on the right track. You're dominating. But again, pay off that car today.

You have the money.

“Do not be paying a car alone with interest.”

On a depreciating asset. For another month. Don't do it. So just pay it off. You'll have this six grand.

And then actually when you start working with cash and Drew, it kind of changes your mindset. It makes you think twice about something, right? When you have debt and you're like, okay, I'm going to afford that payment here or this thing over here.

Because it's just these small payments month to month. It doesn't feel like a big deal. But when you actually start living within your means and spending your own money, it actually changes the game. And actually, may change your mind.

Once you have it paid off and you're like, man, I don't know if I want to spend. Or save up for another car. I kind of want to save up and start investing or doing something else with this money. [ Music ] If you run a business, you already know this.

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So give us a call at Triple 8-825-5225. All right, let's go to Minneapolis. I'll pronounce it correctly this hour. And we have Monica on the line. Hi, Monica. Welcome to the show. Hi, I thank you, Chan.

Oh, thank you. Well, thanks for calling in. We're a huge fan of yours, Monica. So what's up? So I have a question. We're just kind of having a date.

My husband and I about how much I should be spending a month. And I want to be with him budget. But I'm kind of confused on what's acceptable and what's not. Less than your budget. Ta-da.

All right. No, no, no. Okay, so I'm just messing with you. What's your confusion? Me and Rachel love solving marital disputes.

We love spenders like you Monica.

We're glad you called. Well, I used to not be a funder because I had no money. And then we had children. And they need all the things. Oh, you want those moms that likes your kids to have shoes and stuff.

Yeah. Boo. Boo. Yeah, I just feel like the kids expenses just pop up. You know, she's she's rough on your tennis shoes and the next thing.

You know, like she didn't pair of shoes. Totally, totally. So what's your husband upset about? I do spend too much. But that's what I asked.

“They said, well, do you want me to stop going to the personal trainer?”

Which we spend too much money on. But it is really beneficial. She's more of like a physical therapist and help my back get a lot better. Okay. So note, not that.

He's like, you don't, you're not into like brand names and all that. So I'm not worried about what you spend on clothes and not worried about hair salon.

And you can always go there.

And that's like so what? It's always like he just has a random feeling. There's no like actual hard data. Well, well, I am spending too much though. Um, why do you say that?

Our house is our house is paid off. Our cards are paid off. I don't know how much insurance cost and there's like that. And I, because I'm kind of a child when it comes to like that end of who's in charge of their relationship. But, um, I'm spending 12,000 a month.

And I know 2000 as angle of trees. 150 is on a gym, 148 is a person trainer 200 a month on hair. And then I don't have a tailing on all the things. There's a lot left. Yeah.

Where's the other $10,000? $10,000. Right. I know.

“I'm wrecking my brain and I think it's, I mean, I garden.”

So we buy a lot of stuff for the garden. And when I say garden, it's, yes, some flowers. But it's also a lot of vegetables and stuff. Yeah, but we do that too. My wife collects seeds and, like, I don't know how big your garden is.

How much do you guys make a year? Um, almost 400. And you're completely up for me. My, my big concern here is that you don't know where it's going. Where it's going.

$1,000 a month is going. Because y'all are, like, I'm going to say this nicely, but y'all are wealthy. Y'all are doing really well. I'm not offended about anything. No, I know.

I know. I know you're nice person. Y'all are doing really well. My concern is it, it's, I'm in your husband's camp here that I want my wife to spend what she wants to spend.

I want her to feel good. I want her to do all those things that make her who she is. And then there's $10,000 more dollars a month that are on account for. And I'm troubled here that you don't even have a ballpark. Yeah, you don't seem to have any idea where that money's going.

I am the mom that, like, every holiday has to be super special. But I know that I decorate for all of it. We have a trail in our backyard that I decorate for Halloween, the decorated for Christmas and decorate for Easter and the birthdays and... And we're dropping like two grand on something like that.

And not really think much about it. Probably. Like, it'll be that kind of stuff that you're doing. Okay. So you're spending, you said 12 grand.

“You guys, what did hit your account every month? Probably 30?”

I don't know. Okay. So here. Because it's inconsistent. I don't want to get into detail for this job. Okay, that's fine.

Okay, do you guys, one month. Are you guys intentional with how much you're giving and saving every month? You'll have goals. He is super good with that stuff. He is a investment in things.

He told me paperwork and I think I have dyslexia with numbers. Okay, so I don't know what you're doing. You don't. Okay, I'm going to have a hot take here. Okay.

Because of how much you make, considering everything is paid off. Okay. You'll have, you have, you're fine. If you're investing, I'm going to pretend Monica that you guys are investing in retirement. You have your future as the intake air of the kids' colleges being taken care of. You're giving.

I'm going to just assume you're being very responsible people. You're at a high bar. And then you have, you know, 25, 30,000 dollars left to month. Got hot take. If everything else is taking care of.

The number doesn't like super throw me off. It's not like you guys can't afford it.

Here's what's throwing me off.

Two things, Monica. Number one, you personally don't know where this money is going. There's no line item for Easter. And God forbid, Monica puts, for some people, they're going to think you are insane. That you're going to put $1,500 for your Easter trail.

I know. But that's where you're choosing to spend it. And you have it, Monica, is honest to cut for you. 100%. But even that, you said Christmas, Easter, and Halloween.

You spend double that every month. Okay. So, that's what I'm saying though. It's like, you, at least if I knew you knew where this money is going. And then you had a self-check of like, okay, that feels right for me.

And next Wednesday, everyone values different things. Everyone throws their one year old a birthday party looks like a wedding reception. I don't get why, but people do it. And it's fine. If you have the money, I'm not mad at you.

It's not a moral thing. So this is where it's so. I want to fight for you in the sense of like, you guys have done so well. Okay. And you are allowed to spend some money.

But the problem is, back, I'm rambling.

One is, you don't know where the money's going, Monica. Big problem. If you can map out exactly what's going on, then we can actually have an adult conversation. And then number two, you don't know what's going on with any of your money.

Like, you've said, you've deferred to your husband three or four different times on this call. And that's a problem. It's a problem.

“I think your husband's statement, you're spending too much is if I got”

to the thing beneath the thing of that statement, it is. It's out of control. You're immature in this relationship. And I'm having to do all this by myself. Yeah.

You're more like the child. And he's having the parents. He doesn't want to be your dad. He wants to be your husband. Yes.

And that means you. You would be a partner in this. You come to him tonight and say, I've acted like a child. And I'm sorry. I don't have dyslexia with numbers.

That's not a thing. I don't know how all the investments working. Whatever. But I do know how addition and subtraction works. I want to know how much we make.

I want to go through our statements over the last three months and go line by line. I want to find out what this money's going. Yeah.

“And I promise that if we make a budget, I'll stick to it.”

Okay. And Monica, and it's going to be a good exercise for you because part of handling money.

If the numbers work, like, right, that's our first big check mark.

I feel like it's like when we look at the data. Do the numbers work. And yes, you're not going to debt for the stuff like the numbers work. But there's also a spiritual component to money that you're not being. You're not being a great manager if you're money.

You're you're sloppy with it, right? So I get I'm not mad at suspending money, but you're spending it on impulse. And what feels good and what I need to do in the moment. And with no accountability. And that's not that's not a good character building moment.

You need some discipline in it. Again, your husband needs a partner. Yes. Yes. So all those things combined Monica, you guys make it to the end of this and say yes.

We're still going to spend $1500 on the trail. And that's fine. That's what you're deciding to spend. But at least you're doing it as an adult with a rational thought behind it as a good manager. [MUSIC]

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Ensured by the NCUA. [Music] Up next we have Bruce and Philadelphia High Bruce. Welcome to the show. Thank you for taking my call.

How are you? Yes, we're doing great. How can we help today? Well, I have a question. I give it a little background.

I'm 72. I'm retired.

I have roughly about 1.3 million.

And I also have a retirement income of about 1.50 before taxes. And I'm looking to do some of them. Well, I've been investing mostly in CDs. I don't know if I should continue just rolling over those CDs or going into something. Yeah, for sure.

So is the 1.3 in CDs? No, the 1.3 is some of it is in the IRAs. Oh, okay. It's spread out. It's spread out with the CDs.

Some of the 1.3. How much of the 1.3 is in CDs? Uh, about 500,000. Oh, okay. Great, awesome.

Well, yes. Short answer is yes, Bruce. I would move for sure that 500, yes. Into the market. Yeah, I've been investing it.

I mean, it would be, you can look into different types of mutual funds. You can look at index funds. But with the market, kind of, you know, you can go to the market. But with the market, kind of, you know, you can go to the market. You can go to the market.

Usually, you double your money in seven years.

So in seven years, you would have a million, seven years later.

You would have a two million. Where CDs you're making like? Is it two? Three percent? Yeah, three point seven.

Yeah. I mean, you could move it all into a high yield savings account and make more than that. And if you move, if you move half a million dollars, somebody would give you three and a half or four percent on that money. What do you get? What do you get right now?

Two and three quarters? Generator, you can tell I'm sorry.

“What do you, what interest are you generating on those CDs?”

Uh, some of them are at four, some of them. Okay. Yeah, so if you think about it, the market, I mean, it's, I mean, again, depending on your, it's kind of, so volatile. I feel like this count under your, but overall, you're going to, on average, safe is 10 percent.

So, and that's just safe, right?

Some, some years, I mean, the past what two years, it was like a 23 percent.

I mean, it's just crazy. It was crazy. What you can do. So, um, and especially since you don't need the money, right? Because you would, you do want to kind of let it right out.

In case you put the money in, and if you needed it in two months, you know, it would take some out, you know, that wouldn't feel great if it was dropping a little bit. But letting it all kind of just, you know, have some time to settle into the market. And let the market settle, right? It's ups and downs.

Um, I would, for sure, Bruce. Yes, I would put that into the market instead of CDs without a doubt. Okay. Or to put it in a different way, neither Rachel nor I put our money in, have one dollar in a CD. So it's not, it's not like us just telling you something hypothetical.

And I don't think we've ever once told anyone. No. To put money in CDs either, Bruce.

So yeah, it is, um, from the track record of what the market's doing,

it is safe.

“And I understand even at your age of being cautious with it, right?”

And saying, like, okay, where are we at? But honestly, 72 still is pretty young. I'm like, you couldn't. If you're in good health, you could have 20 years. Yeah, I mean, seriously.

So, um, so no, I would definitely put it in the market. Um, not only because it's the best investment, but also you don't need the money. The income that you're getting is from pensions and social security. I've been using most of it. So if there is a little bit of dip and you don't need to take out as much,

it's not going to hurt that bad. So, uh, it's a great question. And Bruce, well done. Uh, excellent, brother. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. All right. Let's go to Tibi in Jacksonville. Hi. Welcome to the show.

Hi. How are you guys today? Hi. We're doing great. How can we help?

Um, so I, we have pen and interesting situation. Um, we, we have about 25,000 in savings. Um, we, the only debt that we have is a travel trailer that we're actively paying off. Uh, we just paid off my husband's student loans. Other than that, we don't have any other debt aside from our house.

And, um, through a series of unfortunate events, we, I just discovered that we actually have mold growing on the bottom side of our couch. Oh. Oh. Oh.

So, right. Well, my question. Do we dip into the emergency fund for that? Is that something that's worthy of an emergency fund? Yeah.

I know. We have a 10 month old, though. That makes it even, your Timothy, you're going to get a new couch. Your Timothy is going to jump in at a boat ins on that new couch. And spill milk on it.

And it's going to cause more mold. You don't want anything nice right now. No. No. No.

I buy the couch. I wouldn't. You were throwing up by a couch.

“I, well, listen, you have to understand that it was when my first book went number one that”

my wife asked, hey, we have a bed frame that you bought off Craigslist for $50 spray painted because we get a real bed. So, I'm probably not the best furniture guy in the world to ask, but I would if it was my

I mean, pull some chairs, some shenanigans, still on the floor with your kid or whatever.

And by the way, not having a couch in the living room, well, you'll have more action with your kid on the floor, you'll actually go to bed on time and not run from the TV. It could change your life in a bunch of positive ways, but that's not why you're calling me, I know. All right, rooms to go, sofas from 399, I'd be okay if you spend 400 bucks on it.

Room to go sofas. I, I'll go with Rachel if you have a hat or go. And you can't, you can not take it out of your emergency fund.

“Do you got to take it out of your restaurant budget or something else?”

You got to cash for the couch. You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch?

Yep.

You got to cash for the couch?

You got to cash for the couch? Yep. You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch?

You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch?

You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch? You got to cash for the couch?

We wouldn't go expensive, we're a military family, things get broken with every move.

We're pretty basic when it comes to our furniture.

“If you have to get a couch, get one that you'll leave when you move.”

Just leave it. We can do that. Okay. Well, Antibia, you didn't call about this, but you guys have $25,000 savings, though you said?

Yeah, we have $25,000 emergency fund, all total investments between my IRA and your account. How much is on the camper? How much is left on the trailer? 30? Hey, it all worked today.

It worked today. 15? She's 25,000. They're close. I know.

Yeah, go ahead and get the only reason we have that is because of the nature of my husband's job. Therefore, it's rather dangerous. So it makes me feel much more secure to have that in the event of something. And then knock at the door.

Yeah. I get that. Does he have life insurance? You guys have life insurance? We have it through the military right before he was leaving on the planet, that's the

other thing he's currently deployed. So I'm trying to figure all of this out. But right before he left the planet, when we were going to start going through the ender and getting quotes and all of that stuff, we just pretty deployment didn't have time. Yeah, I want you guys to do that ASAP, and on YouTube to be something happened to you.

And you guys need 10 to 12 times your annual income, sometimes with people that have insurance through their companies or through the military, it's not enough. And so get term life, check out our friends at Zander Insurance, because they're an insurance broker that actually shop all different companies to get you the lowest rate. So you guys, yeah, be looking at that for real though, because I understand the safety net

of wanting that money that makes total sense. But also if you knew that other aspects were being taken care of, financially, you would be able to use cash today to help you guys in your present situation get a long further faster to wealth building, which will be paying off the debt. So you guys can consider that.

Look at the life insurance, and if there's enough I would, I would get rid of this, you're paying payments on something and interest, it's going down in value. So getting rid of that debt is going to be huge for you guys. Let me tell you something I see all the time. People are working hard, trying to get control of their money, and then their phone bill

shows up higher than expected again, and they don't even know why.

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So if you have a money question, though, we have an answer for your situation.

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Ramsy has put out content-wise is in there. And it's wild how personalized it can get, because it will remember you and your situation but you can put in specific numbers all of it, and it will spit out an answer like you have called the Ramsy show. So get your question answered today at RamsySolutions.com at the AskRamsy tool, so you

make sure to check it out, or if you are listening on podcasts or YouTube, we'll put a link below. All right, let's head to Bill in Seattle, I Bill, welcome to the show. Hi. Hello.

How are you today? I'm doing good. How are you guys? We are doing great. How can we help?

So my question to you guys is whether I should continue moving forward with getting engaged with my girlfriend, you know, even though I see her as kind of being financially irresponsible I'm Bill. Run! No, what?

No. I'm just playing. Tell us more. What is financially irresponsible mean? It means that she still kind of nickels and dimes us to death, so when it comes to

“the small expenses like eating out and getting a cup of coffee, I think there's very”

little consideration on her part in terms of how those expenses can accumulate over time. And I guess the other big thing too is, you know, not a steady source of income from her hand, so that when we have big expenses like our animals at appointments, you know, it usually ends up me sharing the financial burden more so. Are you all living together?

Yes. Okay. Oh, we are. Yeah, I'm, that's, so this is kind of all about, it's I'm a 30 year old living in my girlfriend's parent's basement.

Oh, there's that. Okay. Cool. Lead with, lead with that next time, brother. Oh.

All right. So how much of this? It's just listen. It's just two dudes.

Rachel happens to be here and like a couple million people just listen in.

Okay. So this is you've got to see up close. I don't know if this is a person, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

“Because here's the thing, I skipped a final exam to run across campus because I knew”

that's a place that my girlfriend at the time who's not my wife would be walking across campus at a certain time. Right. And if it was really that she spent too much on cups of coffee and didn't work very often and you were ahead of her heels, this was your person.

You'd be calling us in 10 years saying she won't get a job and she spent jealous into the poor house. What else is going on that's making you start to question this thing? Well, we, we've been together for such a long time and I think we, we've had our ups and downs, but eventually, I feel like recently in my life, I've gone through a stage

of maturity and I, and that certainly means financial maturity and, and I think that is what I have yet to see from her, especially in recent times and I know if I want to take that next step with her that is something that we certainly have to agree with. How old is she? She is 28.

Okay. So it's more of a maturity over on who she is, but what you're seeing, what's coming out is the money side, too. Yeah. And here's, man, this is a double-edged shorter, I probably, and Rachel, tell me, you're

knocking me off my pedal, so like you're so good at doing Rachel. With love, too. My concern here is a double-edged short. One, you have somebody who isn't working, is seems to be content living at home with

their parents, whatever, and never has any money, and it continues to wreck up expenses.

There's that.

“My honestly, my bigger concern right now is you are starting to feel like you are better”

than her. And that is, man, that is the, you're telling the soil to plant the seeds for contempt, and

To use sitting up in the lifeguard tower of a local pool, looking down on instead of sitting

with her and saying, "Hey, what's our plan to get out of your parents' basement?" Right? What's your financial future? What job are you going to have?

“How are we, what kind of future do we want to build together?”

And if she won't participate in that, yeah, you've got, you've got bigger issues. Yeah, have y'all had conversations bill about it? We recently, three weeks ago, tried to have a completely clean slate where we push everything behind us in the past, and we just look forward, and we don't bring up anything that happened in the past, and it seems like I'm getting that sense of financial urgency from her, but then

there's still those moments where, again, she has a small unnecessary expense, or just

yesterday, if I may say, she had spent approximately $60 to get a concert tickets, and it's

still those things that occur that present me from giving her my full trust, financially speak. Well, it's tough because y'all aren't married, and so I wouldn't tell you to make a budget together, because y'all just boyfriend and girlfriend living in her parents' basement, right?

Y'all were married, if y'all were engaged, and y'all were starting to think through, we're going to make a budget together, and we're going to high five each other and stick to this budget that we've made, and then she was like, "Look at, surprise, concert tickets, then yeah, you've broken something that you've said earlier, yes." But if y'all are just dating, and you've been dating a long time, and you're just sitting

in your girlfriends' parents' basement, saying, "Hey, we need to get our stuff together," and she's like, "Yeah, yeah, I mean." Y'all have created no situation where she has to, and I hear what you're saying bill.

“I do hear, I wish she had the self motivation to keep a job, like what's the job situation?”

So I have two jobs, I work full-time at Target, and part-time as a math tutor at Math Museum, and I work up approximately 40 to 55 hours a week, and I'd say it brings me in approximately 3,500 to 4,000 a month. And what does she do? So she just has side gigs, she does a lot of pet sitting, it's been picking up a little

bit, because it's springtime, and summertime, and people want to travel. The other thing I guess too, is she does have her mom, who owns a life-removable service company, and she has lots of experience with doing that, and that's actually a very nice job because they get a little bit. But she will work it though.

Okay, okay, yes, so I can feel, okay, Bill, but you're in the same, you're a little bit, I'm going to group you all in the same situation, you're both living with Adder parent's house. I hear you trying, he's turned a corner, and he's like, I want to do something with my life, create financial stability, and she's pet sitting, which is nothing wrong with

pet sitting, but that's for a full-time career. And she was doing it six hours a week. Not for 28-year-olds. Not for 28-year-olds, right, and it could be a great side gig, but like, I do see the lack of initiation on her side, and that is very concerning.

Yes, that's concerning. So, I see that. It's concerning that her mom still speaks into y'all's life, right?

“So here's the thing, the only thing you can control is you.”

If I, if you were my son in this exact situation, I would tell you, go get a one-bedroom apartment today. Yes. Praise him. I want you to have skin in the game of your life, and you're not going to accumulate wealth

as much as you want whatever, and then, say, we're not breaking up, but I need to get out of underneath your mom and dad as my parents, and I need to start creating a life as

me as a third of your old man.

Yes. And then, you can see with clear eyes, is she want to join your team? Until death to you, part, or she want to live under her mommy's roof, pet sitting a few months out of the year, right? That's what I was going to say, John.

Dude. You wrapped it up well. Seriously? Yes. It's going to expose and show more of the truth, Bill, when you are on your own, and you have

the binders on for your life, does she enter it or does she exit it? And you make your budget for your money. Today's Ramsey Show, Question of the Days brought to you by Y ReFi.

stalled out, but Y ReFi helps borrowers, explore refinancing options, with payments built around their real life situations. So to learn more, go to yreFi.com/ramsey. That's the letter Y-R-E-F-Y-.com/ramsey, may not be available in all states. All right.

Today's question comes from Andy in Kansas. Andy writes, "My wife says I'm taking the baby steps too seriously. There's no such thing." All right, because I'm very focused on paying off our debt using the snowball method, she wants to pay off debt, but would like us to save for a vacation and build a larger

emergency fund at the same time. We have the $1,000 starter emergency fund, but she wants to increase that amount slow down a bit and not be so intense about paying off debt. I don't want to create tension between us, but at the same time, I really want to stay focused on becoming debt-free.

“How can we stay united as a couple while making progress towards our financial goals?”

This has to be the number one question we get. That one person is like all in and the other is like the one person's lying to you. Take a few zanx and relax. Yes, totally. Yeah, and I think for me, it's one of those gifts and take give and take, give and take, give

and take, give and take in marriage, because there is. There's naturally going to be the free spirit, the one that I do think has the capacity to handle some of maybe the money stress a little bit more, just whatever it is, right? Where there's the one that's like, we got to get out of this. The urgency is so big and and I may not put an urge free spirit on those specifically, but

that tends to be the personality of the couples we see. But what we find overall are the couples who win financially and I mean, win, like, pay off

their home, have a million dollars in the retirement all of it.

They are not only shooting for the same goal, but they're for each other in the process, meaning if I see that this is so important to him, I know it's important, and I want to get there, but man, he wants to like, go all out, okay, for a year, like, we'll do it. I can give a vacation for a year and I can go in and almost in a way of loving him well

“of what he is desire and wanting at the speed of that vice versa to the wife, right?”

If she wants their debt free, she's like, yeah, she's probably going to spend more on a vacation and he's like, okay, we have the money for it. We're not being irresponsible, but I wouldn't. I would spend it somewhere else, but for her right now, okay, let's just do it because we can.

Do you want to make sense? That is my exact house. I, if I owe somebody money, I don't sleep, I have anxiety, it drives me crazy. My wife can have a mortgage and a car payment and she wouldn't lose sleep over it. She doesn't like it.

She sleep just fine. Right. I have a plan and whatever her loving me well when we were buying a house and we were able to put a big chunk down, we're going to take a mortgage on a little bit of it. We sat down and I said, okay, for this long, it's going to cost me, can we pay this thing

like this and she said, yes, and when this thing's paid off, we're going to take a silly vacation.

“And I was like, I would never spend that on a vacation all in, right?”

So it's us loving each other well, but Andy, what that required, though, was that conversation that me and my wife had was not a spreadsheet conversation.

It was, hey, here's what this does to me and she's like, I love you more than any other

thing I could have. Yes. I'm all in and life without a vacation for me, like, I don't like that. And I'm like, I love you more than any of the rights that we'll do that too. This is about talking about the thing beneath the thing, which is sitting down and saying,

here's what the debt is doing to me. It's making me feel like a failure as a dad, as a husband, it scares me about our future. The economy's bananas right now, AI's going to kill us all, like, all of us say those things out loud and then come up with a plan together. I don't think you're taking the baby steps too seriously, Andy, but I do think you're

taking them on all by yourself and that's going to divide your marriage up. And so I think sitting down and having the conversation, the thing beneath the thing. And if you're with a partner that's like, I don't care what you care about, we're having a vacation. Your marriage has bigger issues.

That's right. Because I promise you, that's not just showing up there, it's showing up in other places too. Well, and that's it, too. I'm like, and we say it all the time that so many calls we get about money issues, they're

not really money issues. It's marriage issues. You really do. It is because that's who we are as people to our core, right, our soulful spiritual people.

But the complete side of us is, and all this other stuff of life that we've built on top of it, money, all this other stuff, it's all built on top of that.

And the problem is, you only get to that layer.

Here's how much we could make with the percentage that we're saving here versus the market. And all that's fine. Like that's true, right?

“Like you can look at the math and absolutely, and some people are like, great.”

Check it off. That's what I needed to see. But for most people, especially from the quality of a marriage perspective, it is getting to understanding what is happening with my spouse. And when you do and you have those conversations, you get to know your spouse on a deeper

way. There's nothing greater than seeing and knowing and learning about your spouse. By the way, you're going to be married to 15 or 20 different versions of your spouse over the course of your marriage.

So you're always going to be in an act of getting to know and then celebrate in the crap

out of them. Celebrating your spouse sometimes is we're going to do it out of vacation for two years because we're going to get this thing cleaned up. And then we're going to be able to go on whatever stupid vacations we want to go on from now until forever if we just make this sacrifice.

But I really want to stay focused on becoming debt-free and he writes, "Tell her why." Tell her what's going on in your spirit in the middle of your chest. How about conversation? And also, this isn't spouses entertaining or having to puff up a spouse on some crazy thing. Getting at a debt... Oh, I guess some people would say it's crazy.

There are things in life that are like, "Yeah, that's worth fighting for." 'Cause that really does cause stress, right? You could put money stuff in their health stuff. Of course.

“You know, it's not like, "Oh, gosh, I think which I can go conspiracy."”

But if you're like, "Okay, yeah, the one, all the cell phones are going on tomorrow, we got to like, get bug out back." Right? It's not like, not factual. Right?

These are things that are actually factually affecting people. Correct. Yes, totally. There are elements, but money is one of those things. That affects people.

So, I'm saying, Andy, you're not being crazy or like out of this world, like, "Oh, my gosh, she's having to like, caudal something that's bizarre and weird and like, oh, gosh." Right? It's actually going to create a lot of health in you and in your marriage when money is not a factor because you guys have control over it.

All right. Let's hope the cell phones don't go down tomorrow, but if they do, we have Julie in Los Angeles. I don't know what you're doing in Los Angeles, if all the cell phones went down. But hey Julie, how are you? I'm good.

Good. Good. How can we help you tonight? I have a question. First off, I am getting snowball graduate.

My husband and I are from a long time ago, but I am now a widow and I'm 61. I'm looking to retire in '62, which is about a year away. And I want to know, I'm going to move out of this taxable state into a long tax state. And I want to know, based on what are assets that I have of how much health can afford

and how should I buy mortgage cash, which it is. Okay. How much will you have when you sell the house? I don't own one right now. I'm going to retire and then I'm going to move.

I want to know how much health I can afford to buy. Okay. How much money do you have saved in retirement?

I have about $3 million in investment.

Okay. And another million probably in 401(k)ing. Okay. Perfect. Do you know how much just living expenses for you as a month?

How much you would probably spend to live comfortably for you? Right now. Right now, working in everything, relatively approval, instead of a graduate from the debt snowball. Yeah.

It's great. And so what I would do, Julie, honestly, is I would sit down with a smart vester pro. If you got a Ramsey Solutions.com, you can find one in your area because I would want you to map out and see, okay, if I had to live off of the $4 million, how much less could I live off of in order to own a home right out.

So if you took half a million and bought something with that, you'd have 3.5 million

left.

“How much per year, which would you need to see growth for you to live off of, which I”

think would be plenty. So then you could have been and say, what if I bought a million dollar? Do I need a million dollars? So you're going to actually be able to run some numbers out in calculations to see actually the money that you have to withdraw to live off of.

How much would you need and if you want to leave any to the next generation as well. So I would get with the smart vester pro and run those numbers, but I would assume anywhere from a 400 to a 500,000 EECP. You're going to be great, and you can pay cash for it, which is awesome, truly, well done. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwins Credit Union Studio.

I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloni, and we're taking your calls. The lines are open at triple eight, eight, two, five, two, two, five.

Hey, John. What's up, John? Hey, what's going on here? Hi. We're doing great.

How can we help today? So, I am running for me and my wife's household income to go 100,000 dollars a year by the end of 2021. I'm currently halfway there and make 51,000, but she refuses to work, and when she does work, and then quit, she blends it on being bipolar and having anxiety. I'm wondering what I should do to push her to start working and keeping her job.

Does she have diagnosed bipolar disorder? She does. Okay. Is she manage it well? Does she take her meds?

She takes her meds, but as far as managing it, it's probably not. Is that me? Sorry. What does that mean? Is she not managing it well?

But she is.

I've known some amazing, some folks with bipolar one that are amazing folks, but they

know, I've taken my medication every day for the rest of my life. And for folks with, especially with bipolar one, it's hard because you feel so good. It's easy to feel like, oh, I'm all good now.

“And you got to take your meds, but also you have to be intentional about your exercise,”

you have to be intentional about your sleep, you have to be intentional about relationships, the whole thing. And that's what I mean by managing it. Got it, got it. And so she doesn't do that.

Is that right? No. Okay. Is she still seeing a counselor? Yeah.

We actually have a schedule for a very day. Okay. Is this your first time to go with her? Um, this is something my second time. Okay.

I want you to lead with this question. Okay. Um, we have some household financial needs and I see needs. I see abilities in my wife that she doesn't see for herself. How can I love her through the transition of being scared of your own body, which having

bipolar one is as they've, I've had people explain it to me.

“It's like you're being betrayed by your own body, right?”

Some things feel so amazing, some things feel like the end of time and neither of those things

are right. And so how can I love her through this transition? You know? And that's going to signal to your wife. I'm on your team and things have to change in our home and it's going to signal to the

therapist. Oh, this woman has support, not at the lecturing level, but at the soul level. I'm with her. How can I love her well during this time as she's going to begin managing this thing? Yeah.

All right. And then if she's in a positive season right now, if she's in, like, what I call a, not a manic state or a depressive state, but if she's doing pretty well right now, this is a great conversation to lay out, like, how can I love you when things get pretty, when you get pretty ramped up and how can I love you when you get pretty ramped down?

And go ahead and come up with a game plan now so that when those, when those things hit, hopefully the medication and the life management and all that level, some of that out, but when those things hit, you already have a road map trying to ask somebody during a manic phase, how can I love you? That's not helpful, right?

You've been there, right? And when somebody's can't get out of bed, like, it's hard to be like, well, how can I love you today?

And so, but getting that when you're in a good season, that's amazing.

And it might be, it might be that the $100,000 number you have in your head, you all may never get there. It might be $75, and that'll be okay. We have to then reimagine what our life's going to look like, and that's going to be okay, too.

Yeah, I put the $100,000 mark because we're actually $30,000 in debt.

“And that's hard to pay off only making 51 grand, right?”

Right. Yeah, they she have for a spending under control. No. Okay, that might be the front end of this conversation, which is during manic phases, especially, I hear that a lot that folks just get to spending and spending and spending.

So when I know, I'm heading into a manic phase, I'm going to put my debit card in a lock box, and you own the, we have a freeze on your credit report, and you own the past code to Amazon Prime. Right. There's just some low-level basic things that I've seen couples do that were great for

those seasons. And you might have to wait there a storm, right? She might come after you for that code or that password, but we're going to hold firm in those seasons. Okay.

How long have you guys been married, John? Uh, we're going on three years? Okay. Three years. So still learning.

Yeah. How to do this, well. I'm glad you guys have a good, a good counselor. And can I say this, um, this doesn't get talked about very much. This is exhausting for you, too, right?

Okay.

I know she's the one with a diagnosis, and I know she's the one struggling inside of

her own skin. Totally get that. And you love her to the moon and back, right? And it's frustrating for you, too, to try to build some sort of secure life for both of you.

That's hard. Um, I want to give you permission to be frustrated, too. Okay. Okay.

“John, did you, were you aware of everything before you guys got married?”

Um, so actually, I had a couple, I had one that of my own, because then when we got married, we, uh, finance the car, as a molester, um, just if anything more to have, if anything happens, she would just panic and then just get a loan for $500,000 dollars. Okay. Yeah.

And so that's where putting a freeze on her credit.

You don't, you don't do that for her, but you'll do that together. That in those moments when she panics, it, it, there's a stop gap there, right? And we're going to put as many hurdles as possible in front of us so that we together don't make bad decisions for us. Okay.

Awesome. Is that cool? Thanks a lot, brother. Yeah. Thanks for loving her well while she's struggling.

For sure. Yeah. And that, that is difficult.

“And I think, you know, and even if someone is not, you know, diagnosed with something”

like that, there is this realization of, okay, I can only do so much on my end.

Yeah. We were talking about, um, spouses and bringing them on board, right, and working as a team together. Um, but we have found when you create stop gaps together with things like spending, when especially if you see a pattern is so helpful, it is so helpful, because you don't

realize the ease at which debt can just come into your life or spending can just happen. You can have a bet. If I've known people with bipolar one that have one bad weekend, and I'm talking 10 or 20 years worth of digging itself out of this hole, right? You can go buy a car and get a $10,000 loan and they get two credit cards and burn through

them all in a weekend now, right? Right. Right. And what a nightmare that is to untangle. So it's knowing yourself well enough to know, and being honest with yourself enough

to know, I, my body gets set on fire for the inside out, I panic. I do X, Y, and Z, I need to put some hurdles in my life where you help me. And from your experience, not her specifically, but that situation, she would, she could have the ability to have that restaurant thought in when she's in a good state. Absolutely.

Yeah. I don't expect, she's going to come, she's going to come for blood when she's not doing well.

“And that's part of loving somebody well when they're struggling, right?”

Yes. With that. And that's okay. That's part of it. It's part of it.

Well, John, we're so glad you called in. I hope that's helpful. We're cheering you guys on call us back if you need anything. . Hey, guys.

Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real, money problems and figure out what to do next. And now you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show.

Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com.

Up next, we have Tori in Huntsville, Alabama. Hi, Tori. Welcome to the show. Hi. Thank you.

Yes, absolutely. Thanks for calling in. How can we help? So I am currently in baby field number two. I currently work for a financial farm and what I do is I deal with equity.

And although I'm currently paying off my debt, there is a test more so like the certification for equity professionals that you can take. For me, it would significantly increase my income.

So my question for you is, although I'm still paying off the debt, would it be okay to spend

that money to take this test and more than like we increase the income or should I just wait and try to finish off paying. Because right now, if I speak to my plan, I should be done and completely out of debt makes you. Ok.

Tori, what are you making now?

“If you had the certification, what would you be making?”

Ok. So I am currently at 68, but minimal more average, about 90 with the certification. Oh, yeah, I would. I would Tori. I would Tori.

Yes. Because it's pretty guaranteed, right? It's not like you're getting an MBA and you hope you'll get a higher paying job somewhere. It's a pretty, like, way for one. Right.

I didn't get the 90. Majority, even just even competitors with my own company are paying at the very minimum for, like, for the actual, the certified equity professional certification. Yep. Do that 85 minimum for most companies.

That's the lowest I've seen. 100%. Yes. And are you pretty confident? I'm confident.

I'm confident. You can take it. Like, without you'll take it.

“You think you'll pass or you have to take it like five times.”

Do you know? No. I think I'll pass. Ok. I didn't actually prepare for it.

I've been thinking about it for the past three years. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Heck, yeah. I'm like, that's like a $20,000 increase.

How many months will it take you to save up to pay for this task?

Honestly, I just recently picked up a second job.

So I don't think you can have this. I thought it was a nice two month. You're a baller. Do it. Do it.

Yes. Also, because I just paid off my course. I'll do that for you though. $500 a month. I'm confident.

I can have this done. Do it. Do it. Yeah. And I don't know.

I know like, I've heard all of you guys show where, like, you say, like, when you're paying off it to, like, spot certain things. So, like, I did start part of my 401(k) investments. I didn't drop it all the way down. I had it at 10%. I'm now doing six percent this way.

I can keep my match. - Booo! - Tori, for 12 months, pause it and throw that money out your dick. - It's okay, done, you're so close. - Yes! - Just for 12 months. - I know. - I have 20,000 lived in suitant lones, and I have about 4,200 lived in credit cards, but I've got a plan. You've got it.

- You've got it. - Almost done. I'll have to pay it, make like literally in the makes month. The next card with a secure card, I'll actually have to plan to close it anyway, so I can throw that at the next day. - Go ahead, yes, it's the snowball effect, you're doing it. - You're doing it. - Tori, I'm so proud of you, girl, that's amazing. You're doing incredible. You're doing absolutely incredible. And the research of figuring out, okay, I can get a $2,000 certification for a $20,000 raise, that's some good ROI right there, Tori.

- And everybody listed it, and here's what we're not saying. You said it, but this isn't, I'm going to pause the baby steps.

I owe 100 grand from undergrad. I'm going to go ahead and take out a $200,000 loan to get MBA, and I hope that that moves me up. Or I'm a teacher, and I want to go back to school, get a master's degree, and I hope this other district hired me. This is somebody in a job who has needs a credential to move up in this job. She's already crushing it in her company, and it's $2,000. - It's $2,000. - It's $2,000. - Yes, this is a no-brainer. So Tori, you're doing awesome. - Oh, love it. - Love it. - Love it. All right, let's go to San Diego. We have Chris on the line. Hi, Chris. Welcome to the show.

“- Hello, it's a pleasure to talk to you guys. - Yes, well, thanks for calling in. How can we help?”

- Yeah, so my wife and I got married six months ago, and we've been living in an apartment in San Diego. My grandparents are offering to build an extension onto their home, so that we can move in and save money, but we would be paying for the construction of the extension to their home. - Oh, that's great. - Oh, that's great. - Hey, Chris, I got a good idea. Give me a million dollars. - To increase my home. - Yeah, to increase my home value, and then I'll let you live there. - No. - I would not do this. - No, no.

- But it's interesting though, because it's not. - It's not. I know it's not interesting though, because you'll be living in your in-laws house. - Yes, and then actually for resell value, in-laws sweets are actually not that great, because it takes a very specific buyer to even want it. So even for your in-laws, if your in-laws call them, said we want to build on, I would be like, "Ah, probably wouldn't. I think they're fine." No, Chris, you guys need to go and live your lives, genuinely, because what happens, people get trapped in these situations,

and you want to move to Arizona, because you got this insane job, and it's like we can't, because we're stuck here, because we promised this, and it's like, "You start to have all these strings attached, and you guys can't just fly and be free." Like, just, yes, and have a driveway that's just yours, not parking with your in-laws, you know what I mean? - If they said, "Hey, we're going to do this anyway, and we will let y'all live your rent free." - For a year or two, I'd like to do that all day long.

But y'all... - You need to build your own equity too, in your own place.

- Rachel's callout is really important. The first, you're going to put down $350,000 on this thing,

you're going to cash flow it, and then you're going to get the job of a lifetime in Texas, and you're going to be like, "Wow, there's no state income tax. What do we do?" And you're going to have to take this, and then that money is sunk into your in-laws house, and I just wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. - Okay. - Did we convince you? What do you think? Do you want to go, do you want to live at your in-laws?

- You know, I have my own thoughts. - You don't.

“- Yes, that's what you're going to do. - What are your thoughts?”

- Say it for Dars. - What's yours? - It's further in San Diego from my job, and in terms of dollars, more dollars would be going out per month, even though it's the same amount,

if that makes sense. - Wait, say it again. Say that.

- So the amount that we're able to save right now is how much we'd be putting towards the loan, but it ties up our money and if we're ready to move out in our own place in five years. - Oh yeah. - I think it would tie us down even more. - Yes, it's correct. - They're saving the same amount in the same amount of time and having that money is like with... - Correct. - Yes. - 100%. - 100%. - What's your wife saying?

- I guarantee I know what she says. - We haven't had a ton of time to talk about it recently, but I think we're kind of on the same page. I've been sharing my thoughts with her, and she's like, yeah, that totally makes sense, and we're bouncing off her parents, and kind of having a mutual discussion, but we're all very loose right now. - Okay, I want to say something crazy. Don't have a mutual discussion with her parents.

You and your wife have a discussion, and then you announce what your decision is. - Wow. - Because I don't want them negotiating with you on y'all helping increase the... the resell value of their home. Y'all make a decision, and then you say, hey, thank you so, so much for the offer. We're going to keep, we want to stay here in our apartment, and we're going to build up our savings,

so that we can get our own place into conversations over. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Now, they probably have it. Oh, go ahead.

“- Well, I didn't say their hearts may be in a great spot. I think in some situations like that,”

they genuinely think. - Of course. - We're helping, and this will be so great. - And one day we'll move to the... We'll move to the in-law suite, and we'll give the house to them. - And then... - I'm telling you, that they can get the house and we'll down side later. - Or we'll move to the in-law suite, and they'll keep the house, and then we can be around the grandkids.

- Okay. - They've got a whole idea worked out. And it's, I don't vote for a second for coming up with this idea. It's a great plan.

And housing in San Diego's, I don't know, one that in apartments, eight billion dollars.

I get it, or I totally get it. - And to your point, if they had built it, and it was there, like we had some friends, and their parents had like a small home out, like by a pool, and they lived there for about two to three years, rent free, everything. And it was great. And then they saved up the money.

They put it down payment, moved into a home. It was wonderful. Because it was already there. It was part of the system. They had a good relationship. It was fine. And they actually created their savings goals. But Chris, if you're having to cash flow this into something that you can't take the equity out,

it's not a smart investment. And I just think having some boundaries,

“your first six months of marriage, first couple years, I think it's good.”

I have your own location, you guys figure out life together. But thanks for the call, and yeah, congratulations on the new marriage. - You spend hours researching before making a major purchase, like a home or car, but it's also a good idea to put in the work searching for the right insurance coverage. To protect your biggest assets, I recommend using Ramsey Trusted Pros.

Whether you're looking for car home or any other type of insurance, Ramsey Trusted Providers have been coached and vetted to serve you like we would. Find what you need at RamseySolutions.com/insurance. Find or selling your home is a really big deal.

It's hard to know what's really happening in the housing market.

And so we're here to make the latest trends easy to understand. So last month, the average 15 year fixed rate mortgage had ticked up a bit to 5.56%. But it's still lower than 6% which is great. And if you're financially ready, a small increase like that shouldn't be able to hold you back. So again, this idea that just because prices interest rates go up a little down a little.

“All of it, if you are in a position to buy a home, you need to get into the market.”

Now the median home prices went up to $415,000 last month, which is typical for the spring markets. Now there's more homes available or more buyers are entering the market. So it is a great time to buy or sell. So to learn more about the housing market trends and to get free tools to help you buy or sell with confidence,

go to ramsysolutions.com/market or click the link in the show notes.

If you're listening on podcasts or YouTube.

All right, let's head to Riley and Memphis, Texas. Hi, Riley. Welcome to the show. Hey, how are you guys? Hi, we're doing great. How can we help? Okay, so I'm going to keep this brief. Me and my husband, we've been ramsy people since getting married and have no death.

I've also got my house. However, my parents have been struggling financially for quite some time. And despite this, my mom will buy things for us and it takes a huge toll on my husband and I. And I can feel like we're contributing to their debt. But I was just wondering, how do I approach my mom about purchasing things for my family when they are in debt and can't afford it? Yeah, what's she buying?

So, um, shall I step in our house? We're not, we just moved in our house and we're not in a position to buy like things like curtains or rugs or things like that. An additional buy stuff, like that or we just had a daughter as well as an additional buy clothes and things for her. And you're not asking her to. She's just showing up with stuff. Yes, yes.

So, here's a hard truth. Um, you and your husband can't own her decisions. Yeah, okay. You can, you can sit down with her and say, mom, me and my husband really want to grind this thing out ourselves.

And I'm so grateful for you always bringing us stuff and all that kind of, what we really want is you just to come hang out with the new baby or come hang out with us.

Um, but really, and I know the sounds ridiculous, we want to grind it out ourselves. Yeah, you can't do anything about it. If she shows up with it, she shows up with it, right? Yeah.

“Yeah, I guess that's what I was wondering, like, if it's something I need to change my mind to the thought like it's not my problem kind of thing.”

It's a bad of that sound. But it does make us feel really guilty knowing the place that they're at, especially because we're doing a little bit better than they are. Yeah, I want to set you free from this. Um, and it's not a one and done, but my friend Becky Kennedy, she's a psychologist in New York. She taught me this and it, it's one of those, I had a before and after moment and this is just a year or two ago, okay.

Do you think having, um, curtains in your house, is that a violation of you and your husband's marital values? No. No. Do you think getting a gift? Is that a violation of your marital values?

No. Okay, so guilt is actually a good thing. It's a thing that our body feels when we do something that violates our core values. What you're feeling is not guilt. You're trying to take your mom's situation and own it for her. Okay.

Give what I'm saying. And that's not your sender block to carry around all the time. Probably underneath the thing you think is guilt, I bet it's anger. You grew up in that house. You know how what money stress feels like and she's now doing it to y'all.

Yeah. Right. And so it's, it's, it's what you're feeling. I don't think is guilt. I think you're, you're mad.

I think you're frustrated. Like get your house in order to love that, right? Yeah. A lot of that comes from me actually a few months ago, we were doing really, really well. I actually on my parents after a worst and we gave them a gift, a money gift and hope that it would be kind of a wake-up call.

No. You woke up.

“You woke a drag and that's what you woke up.”

And so I feel like it's kind of a slap on the face. So I do think that that's kind of make me and I had some a little bit angry. Did they ask for that money gift? No, it was just something that was put on our heart. Tell me about that.

So at this point, this is during Christmas. And at this point, they were really struggling to put food on the table and trying to give us a good Christmas, me and my siblings.

And my mom had just gotten late off from her job. And so we felt that possibly giving a gift of money and then realising the hope that they can, that they have received would help them. I don't know, like, feel more motivated and to get back in the workplace to provide for their family. So. And it didn't work out that way. Yeah.

“So one time, if somebody passes away you bring food, right?”

Like, there's some things you just show up and you, you just show up without asking. One time my buddy and his wife were, he was finishing school. She was, they were just stressed to, to the max. And then she found out she was pregnant. And so I told my wife, hey, I want to get them a house cleaner.

I want a whole crew to show up at her house and take care of the whole thing. And my wife looked at me and she's like, are you insane? And I said, what do you mean? She said, the last thing a woman who's drowning in all the stuff needs is her friends to think, oh, she's got a dirty house.

Let's clean it for her. And so what she told me was, sit down with them. They're your friends for 25 years and say, hey, how can we love y'all? Right now we're in a season of blessing. And so instead of throwing a check at somebody that's struggling,

there's somebody you know really well, right? If this was a person who was struggling, they didn't have a house, somebody that you're stealing. Sit down with your mom and say, hey, I know you're going through a tough time. What do y'all need?

How can we love y'all right now? And let her tell you.

“And if she has too much ego or pride to say, hey, we could really use $500 for groceries.”

And she says, nothing we're finding good. Then let her be an adult and say, you're fine or good. But you thinking y'all can go in and just don't money on a problem. And it's going to motivate them.

That's never worked for them ever.

And it's not going to work now. And y'all are the ones paying the price for right? You're up now. And now you're resentful because they're not doing well with their money. Right?

The thing that was supposed to help them. And in fact, they're becoming still irresponsible and you're in the pathway of it all. Of them just like throwing their irresponsibility at you. It's stuff that you're like mom. Yeah.

And I don't want you walking around feeling guilty because y'all are in a season of blessing. Yes. So what's the boundary John for adult child, right? Right, right, right. And the parents. Take care of your money really well.

You and your husband be good stewards of what you got. And keep an open dialogue with your mom.

That question always, how can I love you today?

I asked my wife that. She asked me that. But that's a great great question for your kids. It's also a great question for your aging parents. Yeah. And if they say, well, we just need a thousand dollars a month from here on out.

Then you can say, I don't want to contribute to that.

“Or I'll walk you through your finances if you want to talk money.”

But I'm not just going to throw money at a problem over and over because then you are Tilling the soil for resentment, right? Yeah. And so. I agree.

On that, say, I want to love you. I want to I want our relationships to say good and just going money at a problem. Right. So if you want to talk about how to get your money right. If you want to talk about budgeting.

If you want to talk about this range stuff that me and my husband do that has helped us get this clear. I'm in all day long. And if you have a need like, hey, we don't have any groceries. We'll be there for you a hundred times out of 100. You can feel that.

But man, when you get to just when money is just thrown at a problem, anything. This could be friendships, parents to children, children to parents. I mean, all of it. When it's being thrown at a problem, but the problem itself is not being addressed. It just magnifies the dysfunction and it becomes a bigger problem.

Of the problem, right? It rarely goes in and fixes it. Now, if someone is in a season of cleaning up their, you know, clean up their financial masks, they're working the baby sips, they're taking an extra job all of it. And you have, you have some money.

And you're like, you know what? I feel called to be like, hey, let's pay off that credit card for them. Like, we want to do that. And because we are magnifying the good that is happening, not the dysfunction. But I will say this.

Sometimes that sentiment, which I agree with a hundred percent, is used to also pay there's a guy hungry on this host street. I'm not going to give him any money. He needs to get it. Sometimes the problem to solve is that guy's hungry right now.

He's the place to stay tonight. Right? We're going to solve that. I want to be generous across the board. But when it comes to systemic stuff like this in your house, man sitting down

and having the harder conversation is always more valuable.

Dave Ramsey here, most people stay stuck with their money because they're not paying attention to it. Most people are living paycheck to paycheck. Stress out. And broke.

Don't be most people. You work way too hard to be broke and feel broke. And you deserve to have something to show for it. That's why we built the every dollar budget app.

This shows you how to free up extra money every month and use it to beat debt and build lasting wealth.

“Plus you get real coaches guiding you through your plan.”

Step by step. Look, most people hearing this will just keep hoping something changes. But not you. You're ready to make change happen. Starting now.

Go download every dollar in the app store or Google Play and start for free today. [ Music ] Our scripture that I come to my day of 43-19. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up.

Do you not perceive it? I am making away in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Jim Collins said, "The critical question is not whether you have luck,

but what you do with the luck that you get." Do you remember this is so random? One time we were hosting together. Every time I do it, I kind of laughed to myself because I have this memory of us hosting together. And I didn't say our scripture of the day.

I just started saying, "See, I am doing it." You just started writing to the scripture. We were just hanging out on the air. Rachel starts speaking in like new King James version. I was like, "Uh."

He said, "What do you say?" I was like, "It's our scripture of the day." She's been reading all those like fairy-viking romances or whatever. And she started like speaking in that language. She was just like, "It always makes me laugh more."

I need to say scripture of the day. And I don't just start saying, "See, I am doing a new thing." That springs up.

Although we're hanging out.

Just like you and me and Sheila and Winston, you do just sometimes break into these long clips. We're some monologue now. Yeah. All right, let's go to Columbus.

Oh, I am. And we have Alex. So what a name to have in the world today. Hi, Alex. I welcome to the show. Hi. Good afternoon. Thanks so much for taking my call.

“Yes. Absolutely. Thanks for calling. How can we help?”

Yeah. My husband and I are exciting about two to three months away from completing Baby Step 2. Yes. That we are not aligned on what to do with our credit card once they are paid off. Okay, I'm in the camp of closing them. He is not in Sunday looking for talking

points on how to help him make him feel good about that decision. Some talking points. Okay, so when you say he doesn't want to close it out, does he want to keep it the credit card in case of an emergency? Is he wanting to keep it for expenses but paid off every month?

Like, what is he looking for when it comes to the credit card? Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, my talking points, which John can probably get into the psychology

of just what you're desiring, Alex, and for as has been a wife, you know, how he can approach that with him on more the emotional level, but from just the financial side, you know, what we find is people who, especially rack up credit card debt throughout the month and say,

we're going to pay it off. More, I think it's like right close to 50% in return, don't. And so, half the people are telling themselves the lie that they can afford it when they really can't.

And if your credit card is your emergency fund, then you're just, you are adding risk back into your life. And what I think it does is I think it slows down the motivation to actually save and have a fully funded emergency fund that should be your safety net.

You should be your safety net. Not, you know, a credit card company. And then when it goes to building your credit score, I mean, yeah, if he's wanting to go, you know, get loans, then yeah, you will have to have a credit score.

“But if you want to live a life debt free,”

which you guys have done and you've worked so diligently to get out of debt, why you would want to go get a car loan again or a personal loan. I don't know why you would. But if you did, then having a credit score would be important. But we believe you don't have to live with debt,

so you don't have to have a credit score. And for a mortgage, that's the one type of debt we're okay with, that you can actually do manual underwriting. You don't even have to have a credit score to do that. So, so there's a way to live life without a credit score,

but you really are choosing to live life debt free,

which ultimately, which is why we do this show,

we really do believe it brings the ultimate piece when you don't owe anyone anything and you have autonomy over your money. Can I give you a bad idea? I can example this probably not fair.

Alexa? Okay. How long have you all been married? Married two weeks. Oh, two weeks.

Oh, wow. Y'all are just in this. How long did you all date? We were together for about eight years. Okay.

Gross. That's a decade. Awesome.

Imagine. I'm going to be ridiculous. Will you be ridiculous with me? Sure. Okay.

“Imagine you're both cheated on each other.”

The beginning of your dating relationship. And then you'll both decide it. It's you and me, right or die. We're going to do this thing. And then you know we're both like,

but let's keep those one nightstands, numbers in our phone just in case you get annoying. Right? It's ridiculous, right? It's ridiculous.

You would never do that. Yeah. You would say, no, no, no. We're married. We're going to figure this thing out.

And so if we have a fight, if we don't like each other for a while, which is every marriage, if we're annoying each other, we're going to sit down and figure this out.

If you work like crazy to get out of that. And you're like, well, let's just keep these things open just in case. You're going to use them. If you don't have that number in your phone,

you're going to have to sit down and figure out. All right. We had the fridge go out,

“and the transmission fell out of the car.”

We're going to have to figure this out. What are we going to do? And we're going to buy a $50 used fridge on Craigslist, just to put milk and eggs in to get us through. And we're going to run car family for a month.

So we save up and pay for it. You will figure out how to do it right. And so for me, I'll tell you this. It's why I keep social media on a separate phone.

I'm not good enough. Those the tech folks who created these social media, they're better than me. They are better than me. So I have to put a bunch of steps in front of me.

It's a tool I have to use for work. So it has to go on a separate phone with an off switch, that goes in my bag, et cetera, et cetera. When it comes to credit cards, I'm not good enough.

I'm not. They're better than me.

Always knowing I could always just quickly jump to this thing.

So that's why I think you close them. You set up a bunch of hurdles between you and where you actually want to go. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Yeah. Congratulations two weeks in. I already have it. I haven't this big fight. Good luck.

I got a John in Denver. Hi, John. Hi.

“Had a question on your guys' thoughts on public loan forgiveness?”

Mm-hmm. My girlfriend is graduating medical school and is starting her residency. And the three years of her residency will count towards the ten years needed for public loan forgiveness.

So didn't know if that's something from a, we should pursue standpoint. Or if it's more so, hey, we can aggressively pay

this off once you get through first.

Kind of normal paying doctor job. Yeah. Or what your guys' thoughts were on public loan forgiveness. So I'll tell you this. I have a really significant built-in bias

and I'll give the other side of my bias. I worked at a law school for six, seven years on for a while. And I had a number of some of the most brilliant compassionate minds forgo working in big law

where they could go make a whole bunch of money. And they chose to go do public service law with the idea that they were going to be a part of this loan forgiveness program. And then they all got host.

They weren't. They weren't. They kept getting denied or not reimbursed or delayed or administrative error or a clerical error or some sort of mess. And so, I have been ranting, I don't trust the government to come in and pay off.

And I don't trust them to do anything they say they're going to do in 10 years. I mean, go back 10 years politically. Could you have imagined today? No. Right?

And so, when I look into the future 10 years, I would say, man, I trust me in my life more than anybody else in the world. That said, I want to also give the other side is the public service loan forgiveness has gone up.

They have been processing more and they've been getting through this backlog of millions of people. I would continue to pay on it if it was my house, just because I don't trust what's going to happen in 10 years. But I'm telling you what I would do in my home.

I'm telling you what I did do in my home. My wife and I paid off our student loans of our doctoral programs that could have qualified for public service because we didn't trust the outcome. Right?

Which in my only thought is, and then this is my nervousness, I guess, or, you know, comparing the trash, whether you put money in the market, et cetera, is that she has over, it'll be over about 600,000. We don't have any consumer debt.

Really, the only thing we have is-- Well, it's not weed, John, it's your girlfriend. So keep things separate. Yeah, correct. Which in the plan is trending in-- A good direction.

I'm glad. I'm glad. Yes, that's-- yeah. No, I won't spoil anything, but that's where--

First of all, you're heading.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, again, we've heard the good side bad side. We tend to lean on-- I'm going to lean every time.

Yeah.

“But we do know people we've had people calling on the show”

and they've chosen to give their life that way,

and it worked out for 'em, and that's great.

“$600,000 is feels like an insane gamble to take”

on the government going to do what they say they're going to do in 10 years.

Yep. All right, John, thanks for the call.

Great show, everyone. John, thanks so much.

“And remember, there's ultimately only one way”

to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace Christ Jesus.