Stop Letting Dumb Decisions Control Your Financial Future

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From the Ramsey Network and the Fair Wins Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloni, host of the Dr. John Deloni Show. And number one, that's something other.

The Ramsey personality is my co-host today. The phone number is triple eight, two, five, two, five, call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. And is with us in Nashville, hi, and how are you?

Hi, how are you? I'm good, how are you? Better than I deserve, or what's up? So I am calling today, because essentially my husband and I have been married to 10 years.

In that 10 years, we've never had share of bank accounts.

Essentially, when I was graduating college, my grandmother, on her deathbed, told me, "Don't ever let me uncontroll your money, you make it, you control it." And I kind of took that to heart,

'cause she never left a bad marriage, because she didn't have money to do so.

“So, we're 10 years in, and now, I feel completely hoodwint”

because my husband has been using the money that he has, using cash. I don't know where the cash is going, but he's been apparently funding his entire life on an MX card that I just found out

has an $18,000 balance at a 30% interest rate. And when I confronted him about it, I told him he needed to cancel the card that we were gonna be eating rice and beans, because this was absolutely unacceptable.

But he told me he was gonna take care of it, he was gonna have to make a budget. He didn't want me talking to him like that, didn't want me talking to him like he was a child. So, yeah, I mean, you suddenly decided

you wanted to interfere in his money. Yeah, after 10 years of telling him he wanted nothing to do with him. No wonder he pissed. Well, I mean, I'm over here like--

“Well, I know, but you lost all the right to vote on his money”

when you said I'm not gonna vote on your money. You decided out of the gate, I'm gonna, I'm gonna row in my boat, you row in yours, and now you're gonna add it to direction he's rowing. Yeah, but my money's paying for our entire life.

So-- Well, that's not a new thing. No, but so this is the other thing. So he is disabled, and he gets like this pension. And for years, I thought this pension was a penny.

Like, I literally was like, okay, he's-- he pays like the utilities and whatever. Well, I found out to this pension is not a pit and like, apparently, you know, because I'm like paying for all of our insurance premiums, like putting money in a 4 or 3B,

putting money into all the kids' college students' plans. You know, I'm insurance, dental insurance for everyone. He brings him more money than I do now. Okay, okay, hold on, why are you blaming him? This is the arrangement y'all co-created at your direction,

based on bad advice from your grandma. You're blaming him that he makes a bunch of money and you didn't know about it. Okay. You get what I'm saying?

Well, did you ever ask him? I did, so several times, like, I'd ask him. And several times, I was like, you know, hey, you know, this is what's going on, like, this is what's going on. Like, this is how I'm budgeting things.

This is what's going on with everything. And, you know, I'd be like, do you want to like go ahead and start working together? And he'd be like, well, I don't know how to change my dirt positive.

I don't know how to do online banking or, you know,

it would always be something some reason,

but then I would just not confrontational, so I never just, you know, try to take him down on it. Well, but also he has a very real lived experience that things are going to be done your way, the way you want them at your direction.

You know what I'm saying? There's a difference between, hey, look at all the stuff I'm having to pay for, do you want to start combining money and do it my way? And him going, no?

Or are you saying, hey, I set us out on a bad course. I thought the greatest way to keep myself safe was to keep myself disconnected from my spouse. And I was wrong. And I want a chance to rebuild this thing

from the ground up where you be in this with me. And that means we're going to combine everything,

and our money, and we've got to be united in this thing.

So you see how one of those is an accusation, and one of those is a demand, and one of those is an invitation. - Yeah. - Right? - But now I'm left with, like, you know, I've created, you know, this budget,

I have sinking funds, I have-- - I know what, listen, you got to change your language.

“I, I, I, he, he, he, you have to change it to we.”

- So, okay. - You're saying? - I do, but now we have this like $18,000 credit card - That's what they're doing business poorly. - Yeah.

- Yes. - So what do I do? How would I tell him? - Send the bill to your grandmother. - Right. - Right.

- She caused it.

- We have to decide that we are going to do money differently.

We're going to be connected, and we are both going to get this debt paid off, and we're going to decide how we spend money, and I'm going to stop lecturing you and being mad at you, and also I'm going to tell you, he didn't do anything wrong, by the way.

He's just doing what y'all arranged together. He did nothing wrong in this thing. He did exactly what you told him to do. He went over there and lived his life, and then you're bitching about how he lived it.

You can't, that's, you don't get it both ways. - Yeah. - You got to come up together. - Yeah, so the two of you sit down and start fresh and go, okay, I want to do over the two of us are going to become one,

like the preacher says, and now you are one, and we're going to put all of our money in the middle of the table, and I'm not going to gripe it true about the $18,000. We're going to cut up the MX card, and together we're going to decide what we are going to spend on fun, what we are going to spend on life,

what we are going to put in the fight kids 529, how we are going to pay the insurance bills, and we together are putting all of our money, and he gets a vote, and you get a vote on how this budget looks. - And if he says no, I'm not, I'm not going to fix my direct deposit,

then you all have a much bigger issue in your marriage than just doing money separately. You get what I'm saying? - I guess, I do, 'cause I guess it feels kind of like dishonest, that he's let me believe for 10 years,

that he's got this, like, hidden. - I don't think he comes. - I don't think so. - Maybe, you are working really hard to make him a bad guy in this, and I want you to reframe that, 'cause it's your fault.

I really, I mean, that'll be good for your marriage. Just, I gotta tell you, I don't want to change my deposit, because my wife thinks I've been lying to her for 10 years, and I don't think my vote's going to count in this budget meeting. I'll bet you he didn't want to change that deposit then,

but I wouldn't either. I wouldn't either. So, if you've been saying, "Hey, I need some help," and he says, "I don't have any money," and he's been lying to you, that's one thing.

- That's a different issue. - But it doesn't sound like that's been happening. - Yeah, might have, but even then, he certainly didn't come full forward and go, "Look, I'm making more than you on my disability."

Check, he didn't do that, and he should have. I don't disagree with that part, but I think you guys get the opportunity to start over,

“but the only way this guy's going to join in with you”

is if he doesn't have to act with us and lose all power, because you shame him into it. That's not going to work, it has to be an invitation. - Yep, not going to work. - Almost all invitations start with eye statements.

I mess this up, I want to do this different. I want us to be together when you join me in this, and it's going to take us changing the way we do everything. And you get a vote, and I get a vote, and we're going to agree, like, two grown-ups together.

I'm not your mama, and I'm not going to bet you about this anymore. - David, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curve ball hits. - You know, we hear it all the time.

A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes.

- Yeah, and that's why you've always said

that having term life insurance from Zander is essential, because it protects your family if the worst happens. - Yeah, that's right, you need 10 to 12 times your income, in coverage, no gimmicks, no whole-life junk, just straightforward term life protection.

But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long term disability insurance.

“- Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.”

Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income, so the bill still get paid while you get back on your feet. - Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance,

it's great, take it, if it's discounted there, at a better price, take it. But if not, Zander can help you find the right plan.

If you're gonna be out of work for a while,

“then you need to make sure the money still showing up.”

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To don't wait, it's fast, it's easy, and it could make all the difference. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. - Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. Susanna's in West Palm Beach, Florida.

I Susanna, how are you? - I am doing well, Dave. Thanks for asking, and thanks for taking my call, how are you? - Better than I deserve, how can I help? - Hi, so yeah, you might have been.

We just recently got married a little under a year ago, going on a year. I am 29, he's 29 as well, or at the same age, and we just have decisions, financial fatigue, from trying to decide whether we should

continue to invest, I'm kind of going on the route of investing still, or pay off our debt. So, my husband and I, we make about 11,500 a month right now, which is our highest income. - Congratulations. - Congratulations, great.

- Thank you. - How much debt do you add? - So, we have 85,000 in debt. - On what? - So, I have 24,000 on my car. We just paid off his car, which was 26,000,

we just did that last month. - Mm-hmm, very good. - Yeah, so that was a huge list. So, now we're trying to say that, do we continue? And then I have 61,000 who's due to loans unfortunately. - Gotcha, okay, and you're 29 years old, all right.

So, let me, let's pan out a little bit from instead of looking at the actual situation right there in front of you, and ask, what is the goal with your money, okay? 'Cause it'll affect what you should do.

Okay, so in other words, the goal number one could be, I'm gonna live my life wide open right now. I'm going on six cruises a year, I'm gonna do whatever I want to do, I make 11,000 dollars. That's a goal, and if that's your goal, it's a different answer.

If your goal is, I want to live a good solid life, I'm willing to be sacrificial for a short period of time to increase the speed in which we build wealth, which will allow us to be outregisterally generous, and doing the thing we want to do, which is the goal,

we usually are aligning people too, okay?

“So, what's the fastest way to become wealthy, in other words?”

So that, I can live the life I want to live, and change my family tree and be outregisterally generous. So what's the fastest way to become wealthy? If that's the goal, then I can help you. - Yes, yes, that would be the goal,

and the data says stop all investing temporarily, and pay off the 85,000 as fast as you possibly can,

and here's why, okay, here's what the data says this.

We studied 10,167 millionaires. The largest study of millionaires ever done. What we found was this, that they increased the speed at which their net worth went up. Their 401(k)s got fully funded, that jammed them up,

and they got their home paid off when they got rid of their debt, because your most powerful wealth building tool is your income, and right now, the bone marrow is being sucked out of your income with 85,000 dollars with a bulk rep. And so when you get rid of that, it increases the velocity

of your wealth building.

“That's what the data tells us from studying millionaires,”

and actually the math I'll tell you that too, when you think about, okay, all those payments on the 85,000, what if we just put that into an investment?

Oh, that's five million dollars in five years,

or 10 years or 20 years or whatever it is, right? And so it turns, you see, those payments are mathematically, the arithmetic is sucking the marrow out of your investments. And so you're trying to do some investing, because you want to build wealth, meanwhile, you're limping along

in mediocrity, because a large portion of your $11,000 is going to pass stupidity. Yeah, very true. Yeah, and that's more, more, I mean, that's more also. But so what we have found is is that with your income,

you'll be dead for you in about 18 months, if you go crazy for a short period of time. And say, we're not going out to eat. We're going to sell so much stuff to kids, think they're next. We're not going on vacation.

We're going to clear this, think in 85,000, because it's between me and winning. Yeah, I mean, okay, I definitely see your home

to a long-term wealth data on it. That's the-- you had the right goal. The only question is, what's the most effective path to that goal, right? And so that's what we've come down to.

We've figured that, you know, from 30 years of sitting in the seat answering these questions and helping people become millionaires, tens of thousands of them, and Sharon and I did, and the Ramsey personalities did, and I talked to two of my leaders downstairs a while ago.

They just both of them paid off their house in the last three weeks, and both of them said, since we paid off our house, that put us at the millionaire, the millionaire network, and then boom, it's no stinkin' house payments. It says, "And I put that in a calculator."

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Well, you put a house payment in a calculator and you go, "Hey, let's that turn into in 20 years. It's not a million. It's like 10 million."

“Well, and Dave, I think there's, for me personally in my house,”

there's a whole other side of this equation, which is, as the news gets crazy, as the world gets crazy, knowing that the banks don't care. You signed up to make a payment every month. This student loan payment is due, this car payment is due,

this mortgage payment is due. It doesn't matter if you lose your job. That payment still due. It doesn't matter if your hours get cut. That payment still due.

Taking that stuff off your risk profile, let's you sleep, man. It just changes the temperature and the tension in your home. And that, to me, is worth as much as my overall network portfolio. It's just having a piece of mind. What's weird is, it's not only just that.

That then calls you to make different decisions. Yeah, the advisor. And that accelerates you well, though. Yes, that's because you're coming from peace. Yes, not from, we've all been approached by a salesman

that is happy to help us and wants us to win.

“And we've also been approached by a salesman”

who we know, oh, you need this sale, right? That level of desperation is just different. And you are more successful. I want to work with that guy that wants to help me out, not the one that needs me to overspend, right?

So anyway, there's the money part, but man, there's that peace part. And they just do work together. It works so well to you. Yes, really cool. So, hey, thanks for calling.

Joyce and Orlando, hey, Joy, what's up? Good, how are you? I was wondering, my dad is offering to be a bank as I'm looking for homes. And I'm wondering if that's OK to take him up on that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Run, Joy, run. Your dad's your dad is sweet. He's awesome. Hey, sweet, but don't do it.

Here's what I thought, but I thought I should do it.

The old joke is if you loan your brother and law, $100, and he never speaks to you again, was it worth it? So the borrower is slave to the lender. And when you open someone money, even someone persuades your dad, and your dad's a really nice guy.

“I mean, Kirk's don't offer to give their daughter like bank money, right?”

So loan their daughter bank money. But when you eat Thanksgiving dinner with your master, even if he's a nice master, it still tastes different. Yeah, you're right. And you're looking over your shoulder, wondering if he's

judging the vacation you're taking while you owe him money. Are you married, Joy? I'm not. OK, yeah. I promise if you start dating somebody,

are you going to get married and you still are in this arrangement? That's going to be real. We're between two of them. Here's what I would do. I would tell my dad.

I would take him out for a breakfast somewhere, not super expensive, but kind of nice, and I would tell him, thank you so much,

but I want you to always just be my dad.

Oh, do you understand? I want to preserve that. I want to preserve that relationship. I don't want it to be weird. Let me do banking with banks. I want you to always just be my dad.

And if he decides to gift you $100,000 instead of loaning it to you, you can take it all day long. Take it all day long. Oh, that's so funny. I didn't say you bring it up.

I said if he decides, I mean, you might want to bring it up. But if he's going to know that, yeah, be careful. This is the, this ends up poorly. So when I went broke and lost everything, Sharon's dad loaned a sonny, and Sharon's dad,

he's 97 now. He's the nicest man I've never known. He's the sweetest kindest journalist guy.

He never said an unkind word.

And I got that payback really, really fast. I drove me, barkers. Yeah. I couldn't stand it. And Sharon's like, "What's no big deal?"

She's my dad. The shadow of her just like was over your hair.

And the myths of having gone broke lost everything. Bankrupted and ashamed. Now her daddy has to come bail you out.

“And I have to eat Thanksgiving dinner there.”

And he never said a stinkin' word.

None of that's on him. It's all on me. But it proved to me that point. The borrower is slave to the lender. You've worked too hard to get control of your money,

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(upbeat music) Doug is in Philadelphia. Hi, Doug, how are you? - Good, how are you, sir? Thank you so much for having me on the show.

- Sure, how can we help? - So I am, excuse me. I am in baby step two of my financial journey and I got a part-time job. I work a full-time job.

But I got a part-time job at a big box home improvement store.

And when I started there, you know, credit cards are always a thing.

I have never signed anybody up for one. I refuse to do it. I have no issue, I will never do it. And it was really never a big deal when they would ask, you know, I tell 'em, nobody wants to do it already has one,

but they've really been recently portioned. Every day I go in, hey, you haven't signed anybody up for a credit card. Hey, you haven't, but it was signed anybody up for a credit card. And now they're starting to offer helox. And they're telling me, they want me to start pushing these helox.

And my conundrum is, is, do I, I only got about nine, ten months left there before I have completed my goals. And I'm actually out of baby step three. Do I just continue to play that game and say, oh, yeah, it's fine, or do I just say sit down with my manager and say,

hey, here's, here are my values here are my convictions. And I will not place these products onto people. And my, I myself am here trying to get out of debt. Yeah. Well, if you do that, you're gonna get fired.

Yeah. So, an easier method would be just quit. Be easier. Be easier on everybody. Or you can just ride it out for nine months and, you know,

but it's the business that they're in. And it's, they have now said, okay, you work for us. Your job is to help someone find the bolt, the screw, the lock, and to sign them up for a credit card. That's your job.

And if you're not doing that, you're not doing your job. That's what they're saying, right? Yes, yes, yes.

“And so, and you don't want to do that. And so, I honestly,”

I think you probably get another job that doesn't require that. That pays about the same, don't you? Yeah, yeah. I enjoy helping, I have a maintenance background. So, I really enjoy helping customers figure out their problems

and helping them with their DIY projects and, yeah. And I enjoy that doing that aspect of it.

And like, at first, I never had a problem.

I was never really pushed the whole credit card saying, but now it's almost, it's every day I walk in. And it's just, I want to say to them, like, I'm not doing that. I will help customers, get their products. I'll help them with their products, their problems.

Yeah. Up and solve them and fix it, but I'm not pushing the credit card. And I understand the moral aspect of it. But the bottom line is, is they own the company. And they said, this is your job and you don't want to do the job.

It shouldn't be the job.

The job ought to be what you're talking about,

helping people with their DIY project and ought to be fun to do that. I have a friend that, back during COVID, was bored, and he went to work in one of those stores. And the thing that drove him crazy was, they had a policy that no matter what happens,

“if someone wants to return something, you have to take it back.”

And he had a guy come in that had just had a lawnmower for two years, mowing his grass with it and brought it back, said, I don't like it. And he's supposed to give him a full credit. And he goes, that's him moral.

I'm not doing that. And they go, yeah, you are. And he goes, no, that's wrong. That guy's ripping us off. We shouldn't do that.

And they go, no, that's our policy. We take it back no matter what, no matter how absurd. And they fired him, because he wouldn't take the lawnmower. He said, I'm not going to do it. And they're like, well, that's what your job is.

You work for us. Well, that's true. If you work for someone, and they tell you, this is your job,

“you have to do the job, or you don't get to work there.”

I mean, that's a simple thing, right? So I don't disagree with the the angst that is created by you here. I honestly, if I were in your shoes, I'd go look for something else. If you want to sit down with your supervisor and say, hey, listen, I don't want to cause a stink.

I don't want to get fired. And I'm not going to make some big moralistic speech here. But I'm here to help people with their DIY stuff. And I really enjoy that. And I'm really not going to be doing this credit card thing.

If you think I should quit, if that's the case, you tell me. You could do that. And Doug, can I pass it along to you? And this is the pot talking to the kettle here. Yeah, absolutely.

How often do you spend having imaginary conversations with your boss and your owners? I've had a couple. You've had a bunch where you're going to sit them down. You're going to tell them they're going to be like,

oh, that's right. That's what's up.

And you always have the mic drop moment at the end.

And it feels so good. Let me tell you this. I don't work that much. Imaginary conversations are a complete and utter waste of your time. In fact, they're not even benign.

They detract energy that you could be spending on loving your wife well, loving your kids well, and being at peace. And so commit to not having imaginary conversations, either have it, or don't, and then seek like Dave's like, man, you're working a part-time job.

Go find another part-time job, man. And then sail off into the sunset. I'm not going to give you my character and my integrity and extra energy that could go to my family. I'm not going to do it.

Tara, this is an Birmingham. Hey, Tara, what's up? Hi. I am a 29 year old single veterinarian. I am three years out from school and having pre-marriage

sessions with my boyfriend. Yay. Neither have been. She owns his house. My student loans are our big discussion point.

I have 301,000 in student loans with a 57% average interest. I-- - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, around and we're looking at essentially having kids before then and I don't know that

I will stay whole time. I'd rather that aside money for my own small business but I have such a large sum of student loans and not sure what I should prioritize paying it off before kids come or putting aside money for my own business so I can have that option when kids come and could take a long time.

“No, no. Here's the thing. I know a lot of veterinarians. We work with a lot of them in”

untray leadership and I've got several personal friends that were veterinarians and you're

always very, very intelligent people because you know a medical doctor only has to learn

one body system, you have to learn multiple species body systems and so I know that you're a bright person or you wouldn't be a DVM okay so and you work really really hard to get to be a DVM and you sacrificed a lot of your future in 300,000 dollars to get to be a DVM and so I want to quit and stay home and raise babies. You gave that up when you signed

to be a vet, you got to go be a vet and you got to get to stink and mess clean up.

You don't have the money to do business. You're broke. You're 300,000 dollars in debt. You make 97 a year and you can make 150 a year by just picking up side gigs and working

“emergency medicine and some of the other stuff and you need to go to work. You need to work”

24/7 all the time and get this out of your life. Now if you guys get married and you can live on his income and it sounds like he's very financially responsible. Well if you're making 100 you can clean up 300 pretty quick can't you. You're making 150 you can clean it up even quicker and if he throws and if he's got money to add that yeah when you'll combine it come that's even fast. Before you do anything before we talk about I want to quit

to stay home. You don't start talking about starting a business and I want to quit and stay home in the same sentence. Those are incongruent. So you got to decide which you is going to be. But for now eight years ago you decided you were going to be a vet $300,000 worth a whole worth. And so now you got to clean up your mess. When you're drowning in credit card debt and collector start threatening lawsuits, a rep from

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on proven Ramsy principles. Can you imagine if we dumped like seven years of radio calls and podcast calls into an AI and let it know how to answer exactly how we would answer. Oh and all the financial piece of university lessons. Oh and all the books I've written. All dumped in there and then you

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is and it's completely free. You're going to get answered the same way we would. Maybe not quite the level of snark but probably some level of snark. Ask your question today at RamsySolutions.com or click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. Matthew is in Orlando. Hi Matthew. How are you? I'm good. Appreciate you both taking my call. Sure. What's up?

So I'm looking to be a first-time home buyer on 27 years old and I have about $120,000 saved up

towards how'd you do that? Just staying out of debt for a number of years. It builds up over time. Look at you. What do you make of your? About 80,000 after like stocks that might accompany kids and stuff like that. Yeah but haven't you heard that all Gen Z's life has been ruined by the real estate market. Is it impossible for you to buy a house? And yet you, young man, went out and saved $120,000. I'm so proud of you. Well thank you. But yeah, I just want to make a wise decision with my

“first home buyer. I think I can comfortably get over the 20% need for a PMI by wanting to get as much”

direction as a possibly could. Okay. What do you think about doing? I want to buy a smaller home so something like the 250 to 300,000 dollar range. But I want to make sure that my funds I'm putting

Yeah, that makes sense. Well that just involves a lot of shopping. And so what happens is I have found

“this when I teach leadership. I often tell guys when they're making decisions and gals when”

you're making decisions. He with the most options and the most patience makes the best decision. They also win the month. They also win more negotiations, by the way. So options mean you look at a lot of properties. You don't go look at three and by the fourth one. And you learn, you learn the market, you drive the neighborhoods, you drive them on Friday night to see if it sounds different than the neighborhood than it does on Thursday morning. You know, you check the traffic patterns.

You learn and you feel the air and you look at the properties. You look at how old they are,

how worn out the appliances are. You know, what am I getting myself into? And you just gather data

and let that data soak into your brain. And it'll become what's called common sense after a while. And then you'll make a much better choice than somebody that just moves the town and looks at three houses, right? You're a marathon runner anyway. You're not a sprinter. You like to go steady. That's your style. I can tell by the way, you raise that money. You save that money over time. Right. Use that same personality trait to make this decision.

Okay. Yeah, I was wondering about just, I was told like foreclosure with an option, but I'm not very comfortable with that kind of thought that I announced maybe a home inspection would be enough to kind of warn some of the risk that might be coming with that. You need a home inspection. You need a home inspection and a title policy no matter what you buy. Foreclosure doesn't necessarily mean bargain and it doesn't necessarily mean the property's

crashed, but it could mean both. So you just get in there and dig around and you go, okay, I looked at four houses on the street. They're all 300. This one's 150, but it needs a roof. It's going to need all new landscaping. And I'm going to have to paint it and all new appliances and the kitchen's got to be torn out. Okay. So I'm going to have another 100 in it. And so I'm going to have 250 in it when I'm done, but it'll be like new. Okay, that might be a deal. Or it's trashed and it's

a foreclosure and they're still trying to get as much for it as everybody else is trying to get for theirs, which happens all the time, by the way. But people buy and think they got a deal just because it said foreclosure, but it's the same stink of numbers the house next door. Right. That's not a deal. So you know that you know a deal because you've looked at the other ones that aren't a deal. Gotcha. Okay. And then you know, I wouldn't suggest you get into a heavy rehab,

but if you need some new bushes in a new paint job, you can probably do that one. But I wouldn't

on my first home 27 years old, I wouldn't suggest becoming a remodel or all of this sudden.

“Okay. Just because they do it on TikTok, don't mean you need to do it.”

Right. Yeah. I got to feel and you're going to do really well, Matthew. That guy's got it. He's got to figure it out, John. Yeah, like that guy, man. And it's uh, I think the word you use that resonated with me is patience. And for a guy like that, once he flips the switch, I'm going to buy the real challenges. Can you take six weeks or six months and just go slow and the right place will emerge. You have cash and you've got diligence and you've got a good

salary. You're good. Yeah, there's not just money. Yeah, and dig up a dig up something that you like the house. And it's in good enough condition that you can see it becoming with the money that you have the place that you're going to be for a while. Yeah. Don't call it your forever home because it's not.

“There's only one forever home. Heaven. John's in Detroit. Hey, John, what's up?”

Hey, guys. Thanks for talking to me. I really appreciate it. Sure. How can we help? Oh, man. So about six months ago, I had about 250k in the bank. I lived in a $900 apartment, debt free, and oh, my car. And I'm a self employed musician. So I was doing pretty good, making about 50 to 60 take home a year. So I decided to purchase a home back in November. Put about half down on it. And ever since then, I've been really sick. I actually got sick

from the anxiety of owning a home. And I feel like I'm over-leveraged. My mortgage is about 1,500 bucks a month. And I recently, I did get sick from kind of having the mortgage and the stress of it. And then

have a loan on it for about $9,000. $9,000. 12,000 was warranty. I'm going to cancel the warranty.

So now I have half my money. It's gone. I have about 100k left in the bank. Because I was sick. I have uncertainty for the future. And, you know, I'm just kind of really frightened about being a self-employed, a certain home buyer. Been a musician for 30 years. And I was actually considering maybe selling my house. So what's your house payment? It is $1,500 a month. You did say that. I'm sorry. And you make $4,000 a month. It roughly $4,000 depending on the season. And you don't have any other

payments? No, the size my $100,000 in the bank. Right. But I do have my taxes coming up, which is about $5,000. And I have to replace the garage roof for about $3,000. I didn't ask for my property taxes,

“which I think I might do. That's about $6,700 a year. Because I thought I was still got $75,000.”

And then we paid off that car. So now we still got $65,000. And you have no payments and nothing outstanding. That's right. Have you ever owned a home before, John? I don't know what that said when I got in. I'm 53. And I overpaid for it. It was in the height of

the market. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Like, yes, you've never done this thing before. That's right.

So cut yourself some slack. Give yourself some grace. They're doing a thing that you've never done before. You've never felt this kind of weight on the squat bar. You got two guys telling us, telling you, we know you can lift this. Oh, is that what you guys are saying? Yeah. Oh, we're ready to find it. Like you. The bad idea to sell a house. Here's what is important. And Dave has helped me with this a lot personally. Is when I feel something really big, especially about money,

it's always important to look at the math on the paper. Facts are your friends. The facts are

the 1500 out of 4,000 should cause you any stress, especially when you got 65,000 in the bank

and zero debt and zero bills. And that's where you are. So the stress is manufactured. It's not mathematical. The house is not causing your stress. Your perception of the house is called "Hey, man." Hey, man. Hey, let's play a quick game of wood you're rather. Would you rather keep overpaying your phone company every month or save 600 bucks a year with no contract and no

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Welcome back to the Ramsey Show and the Fair Wins Credit Union Studio. Dr. John Deloni Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Andrew is with us in the little Kentucky. Hey, Andrew, what's up?

“Hey Dave, how's it going, man? Better than I deserve. How can I help?”

Well, so I'm 21 and I got two kids and I made some financial mistakes around age of 18 and I'm $70,000 in debt now. And here recently, I got into a settlement and I'm going to be getting around $250,000 and I'm wanting to play the weight and game. I don't want to pay it off. I just want to let it fall off on its own. And I want the best advice. No, what I can do. Fall off. Fall off. What? Fall off my report. The statute of limitations. No, honey, you all money.

Oh, right. I know, but I told you how to get $250,000. What happened? So a kid's mom bought him a 3D printed firearm or I mean a 3D printer and he 3D printed a firearm with it. And he accidentally shot it. And now I went after her homeowner's insurance policy and that's what I got out of it. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. You've got shot by a 3D printed

The only thing metal would be the barrel of the trigger mechanism and the bullets. How was

this kid? I'm just curious. This is fascinating. 14. And he knows how to build a firearm from scratch. Well, there's you two, I guess. Wow. Wow, the wild world with the hand.

“This is nuts. Okay, so hurt. They pay off 250 grand. You owe $70,000 on what?”

I'll just, I put it to you there. I went and got it brand new. Where is it? I got to prove it's gone. Where did it go? The only reason they did it got sold. Okay. Yeah, yeah, it replayed. I couldn't do it. I had no idea. I don't know. You weren't that drunk.

Where did the car go? You got sold. And you had to sell it. You owned it.

Yes. Okay, so you sold it. It didn't get sold. I sold it. Okay. When you sold it, how, you didn't pay it off? No. How did you sell it? How are you going to get a title without paying it off? No title. That's a lot of the bills nowadays. People like cars that way. What had happened was the fuel pump had went out and it was going to cost around $1,500, but just the part alone. And, you know, as I mentioned, being 18, we're not making that. These days,

“I'm kind of up on and I never heard anybody buying a dead-gum car without a title. How do you get tags?”

They came with it. They didn't buy it for, I guess you'd say,

leisurely driving at that makes sense. Are they too fast to furious? Yeah, drug dealers are doing wrong. So they didn't, so it's still titled to you. No, I would say morally track, track stuff because a lot of the tracks, they don't require cars to have titles or vines or anything like that. All right. So you owe $70,000 on a car that you didn't pay off when you sold it. Great. All of it is that? Yes, that's it. Okay. Well, when you get your 250,

you write a check and you pay the people that you owe because you screwed them. Great. Yeah. Okay. Good. Now we have, now we have 180. Now my question will be, though, because I come at them with say 50 full check. I didn't come at them with anything. I don't know. I want you to be a person of integrity here, brother. Like you walked into a place, even your 18, and you said, hey, I'll give you this amount of money.

If you give me that car right now, and they said, deal. And they made a bad deal, and you were 18 to know what you're doing. But you shook hands assigned to piece of paper, brother. Correct. And just because a 14 year old printed a gun and shot you with it. Like that. And you have this windfall of cash all of a sudden. Thank God, you weren't permanently injured. Yeah. So, and Pat, do what's wrong? What do you make of you?

Right now, I'm making close to 70 of where I'm located. Good. Good for you. Okay. All right. So, um, you call them up and say, I need to settle this debt. What will you accept? And see what they say. And whatever they tell you, write them a check for that. Okay. They may be, maybe they'll take 50, they might. Okay. But yeah. And here, one of the things that we find as we've studied wealthy people is, um, not like I was told when I was growing up, not by my parents,

but by people, my neighborhood. They all said wealthy people are crooks. Okay. And all the data that we have

“today tells us is quite the opposite. And so, if you want to become a wealthy person, the changes”

your family tree that your children have a different life than you had, and then your dad had, and then his dad had. And you change everything, you have to become a person of extreme integrity, quit doing crap under the table, cars with no titles. And quit looking for a shortcut or everything. Just do the right thing, show up for work, work your butt off while you're at work, and people will notice because that alone is unusual. And just become a man of extreme integrity. And that would be

my prescription for you. If you want to call them and say, "All right, guys, I owe you this. I did this deal on his 18. I know you probably got 70 or 100 or whatever on it. What will you take? I'll

say 50. 50 would actually be a good deal for them. Um, and then the next time you get ready to buy a

car, be grown up, write a check for the car by a father of two car, which a hellcat would not be on the list. Okay. And um, you know, and pay cash for it and get a title and go get tags on it and be like a functioning part of society. And then that leads you towards being able to grow and to function and to win. David, I started working here, right? All this was new to me. And I kept going to these

“meetings about the Deloni brand. And I remember after the third or fourth meeting, I kind of threw”

a little fit. And I was like, guys, I don't want to brand. I don't like that idea. I don't like that word. I don't want that. And Tim Newton, who does all of that here globally here at Ramsey's one of the most amazing minds I've ever been around. He said, John, all of brand is, is who you are when you're not in the room? What do people think about you? How do they feel about you? What do they know about you when you're not in the room? And that changed changed me. And I want Andrew when he's not in the room.

They're in Louisville, Kentucky. I want everyone to know, oh, that guy is some man of integrity. Just stand up there. Guy, we can count on that guy. That guy's great dad. He's a great dad.

He's always a great husband. Yes. He's a wonderful neighbor. Yes. He serves. They just that too

that you are when you're not in the room because of how present and generous you are when you are in the room. Be that guy. [ Music ] When you've saved up and paid cash for a reliable used car, you want that thing to last.

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define your local shop and get an exclusive Ramsey discount of 10% off your visit. 10% off up to a $250 value. See store for details. I'm good Dave, how are you? Thank you for having me on the show, Dave and John. Sure, what's up? I'm a woman as you can settle along the bay between my boyfriend and I. Yes, I love these.

We both own our separate homes and we have our separate home expenses, but he stays at my house about four nights a week and our debate is like, should he contribute to rent or some household expenses and he feels that he shouldn't? How old are you today? I'm 62 and he's 61. Why are you not married? No. Why? Because we're both the married before and he doesn't want to get married. And he doesn't want to pay any expenses. No.

But he wants to sleep there. Yes. Yes. He's pleased he takes me out the dinner like once a while. No. I mean, yeah, you missed the point. I guess. I'm afraid. Yeah. I know I get it. I get it. Why are you settling for this?

“Because it works for me, I guess. It doesn't. That's what you're calling.”

Well, it's we've fought over it for years. You should stop that. Yeah. The fighting part. You should

in the fight. I don't fight over something for years. I just either get in or get out of the fight. And I'm not going to I'll lose the fight or win the fight or something. But I'm not going to we're going to talk about this years. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're also. You're pet coffee is dating.

About six years. Oh, good grief. Okay. I'm okay. So the truth is the way I answer questions on the

show is I try to think about what what I would do if I were in your situation. And I can't put myself there because I wouldn't be in your situation. I would get married if I were you guys or I would or I wouldn't move on. I break up with somebody who disrespects me so much. Yeah. That they, you know, they want to sleep with me, but they don't want to marry me. So yeah. But but so I can't put my I'm having trouble honestly answering your question. I'm not

trying to make a judgment on you. I'm just trying to say I can't put myself in your shoes. I can't make that work. So can I throw something in your day? I think he has his expenses.

“You have your expenses and I think you lose the argument. Then you decide if you want to”

sleep there or not. But you have your house. He has his house. You could be over his house.

Or you could be at your house when you can't be at his house. Why? Because he lives twice as far from our jobs. And I have dogs and he doesn't want dogs in his house. And obviously I can't leave them here. Okay. That actually brings me closer to a question I have. I think I'm right on something. I think you're asking him to spend money on expenses. That is your work around to more emotional connection with this guy. What do you mean by that? I mean, I don't think this is

about dollars and cents. I think this is about are you or are we doing this thing together or not? And he is being very clear. We are not doing this together. I don't do dogs and I don't do marriage. And I don't pay your expenses. I take you out. There's a lot of things he doesn't do. Yeah.

“I think Davis is less about money. And this is more about that he won't do my dogs. He won't”

marry me. He won't make a long-term commitment. So I'm going to go around this way and see if I can I can squeeze some emotional connection by you're participating in the bills. You're participating in the rhythm of the house. And some sign of commitment. It's some sign that we're doing this thing together. And he's super clear. Behavior is a language. We are not together. Yeah. I sleep with you when I'm at your house. I get what I want. I didn't go to my in-do my life by myself privately

in my own way. That's a huge, I mean, this red flag. And you're okay with that arrangement. Yeah. And that's your lecture decision. Yes. Be a grown-up and stop fighting about it. Just say this is ways is going to be. And I'm accepting it and I'm going to move on. I'm not going to choose to be miserable. If you're going to stay in this relationship, I think he wins the argument. Yes. I agree. Yeah. I think you have your responses. He has his expenses. And I'm not going to charge

him for a booty call. And then you get, yeah, you get to decide whether you want to continue

“in this expense arrangement. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's going on. I mean, it's nice. You know,”

I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be in these people, but yeah. All right. Natalie is in Boston. Hey, Natalie, what's up? Hi. I am just wondering if I should go after my ex cousins 401k. For what? On page child support, he hasn't paid me in about 11 years. We've been divorced 11 years. Why haven't you done something before now? He's, it's a little complicated. He's been in and out of prison. And I don't know. I guess I've tried to file with the state that I live in

and they basically told me he's money from a rock. There's been times he's been on the street.

And he's in an out of jail for domestic violence and drug charges. And I think he forgot that this exists because I think he would have cleaned it out if he had he known. And yeah, so that's right, not this exists. So you found it. He had something sent in the mail and I thought I opened it. Yes. And how much is in it? About 60,000. How much are you owed? Over 100,000. How long has it been since you talked to your divorce attorney? I didn't have one. I think he magically thought that he

didn't show up to court that we wouldn't get divorced. He didn't want the divorce. So 11 years ago, I just I did it myself and got granted the divorce and got so custody. When's the last time you talked to him?

try to say you want to see the kids or something. But it's not really a

do you need this money or are you mad? Sort of. I guess I'm just mad. I'm engaged to be married to a wonderful man in June. Kate doesn't want to wake the beast. He said he's left us left me alone for the past few years for the most part of the side that occasional one-year call or so. I like him. Dave made disagree with me. I agree with your fiance. I agree with your fiance too.

“You do. Because I think you saw this number and you got really pissed off rightfully so”

and you felt that you remembered a decade of grinding it out three jobs. Not seeing your

kids, you remember all that came to the surface immediately. Right. And you want to start this whole

thing over and you you remember how hilarious the divorce was when he wouldn't respond to anything. He just he was like, yeah, I dare the sheriff to come kick me out. He's bad dude. He's not a good guy. No, he's not a good guy. So I um yeah and and lastly I'll tell you this, I don't know the answer to the legal question and you'd have to find someone that does know the answer like an attorney. If you wanted to ask someone but as I understand it, a 401k cannot be touched by a lawsuit.

I know that part is true. I don't know if that is true on child support. If that allowed child support would violate that or not. And so I'm not sure you can get to it anyway.

“Right. If you want to put that part to peace in your mind and go, well, I can't get it anyway.”

Then unless he voluntarily pulls it out and gives it to me, you can make his life miserable like it and already until he made it, till he pulled it out and gave it to you. But um or you can take the cinder block that is him. How do you're backpack for a good and like just walk away? You've got a good new guy that you're marrying with. You're going to create a whole new life. Your kids are stable and healthy because of the the awesomeness of the last 10 years, the grinding and

and just making it all work that you've done last 10 years. Yep. Man, choose peace over this. When that that'd be my opinion, you can go pardon them to the ground but you're going to get you're going to get burned too. Yeah. It's that fire's hot. And I don't think you can get to my anyway. I'm not sure. I don't know if you can get it or not and if 401k with child support. But if it was a regular lawsuit, I can tell you, you can't get it. It's not accessible. Successable in a divorce,

a divorce attorney, or a divorce lawyer, pro-bake can make you split up a 401k in the process of a

“divorce. So they may be able to do it on child support. I don't know. But I think overall you don't need it”

and you sure don't need him around. So I'm with you. I'm with your fiancee and john. I love entrepreneurs. Don't forget guys. I started my company on a card table myself. So I know what it's like to have people counting on you. Your team, your family, not to mention your customers. And when you're the one signing the paycheck, you can't afford to fly blind. But I'll be honest, early on, one thing that nearly sunk us was wasting time with spreadsheets that didn't add up

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What have I been working with since I've been 16? I haven't built any real savings and I put all them like my expenses on a credit card. I have like $2,000 that $3,000 in that I spend a month on my credit card and after I pay that off, I pay it off on four every month, but after I pay it

off on, they have like $100 to $200 left. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and I've been

living like that every since I started working and I do, I use the college savings on my parents had for me as a document for a duplex and I rented out, but whenever big repairs come up, I have to borrow money from them to pay it off and I just want to stop doing that. I want to break the cycle and start saving money, stop using my credit card and just breaking the

“bad habits of spending money like it's not no tomorrow. Show you make about $3,000 a month?”

I'm like yeah, $3,000 for $1,000. Okay, but you said you put $2,000 on the card? I usually my every time I, there's usually like $3,000 around there on the credit cards, like I put all the money. What do you do for living? I work for a post office. And what's the duplex worth? I got it with equity, so I got it with $20 and equity is worth

$2,50 right now. And what do you owe on it? Uh, basically $2,30. Okay, so it's really not a big

blessing. It's more of a curse. I would say, uh, I cost you money. It doesn't make you money. Yeah. Yeah, sell it. You think, well, I'm trying, I'm wanting to use that as like a retirement plan. It's not a retirement plan. It's a, it's draining money. It's not adding money. It sucks. Money. I get rental income from money. It costs you more than it makes you. Yeah.

“Evil in the only way you can go forward here is to exhale and say what I've been doing is not working.”

I'll try something else. Yeah. And what do you, who do you guys like suggest? Like the truth is I understand I have a spending problem. And like I, I don't think you do. I think you have a systems problem. I think the system you're using to handle money sucks. So what would be wrong with just cutting up your credit card and paying cash for things? No, nothing on the set. I think I've just done it so long. I don't know. But just to just, I'll try something new. This sucks.

You call me because it wasn't working. So cut up your credit card, take your paycheck, turn it into money, pay cash for your groceries, put some money in a checking account and use a debit card or whatever to pay your light bill, pay your landlord, I assume you're renting. I know actually a bit of my parents. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. So you don't have any overhead. You have three thousand dollars a month coming and you got a car payment? No, actually. I don't have any debt, actually.

Other than the duplicates. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. I mean, what if you cut up your credit card just took your paycheck and used it to live on? Yeah. It's the same thing. It's the same thing you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Use the jump on the app store and get the every dollar app and put it on your phone and say I got this much coming in at 3,200 to coming in this month and I'm going to give everyone of those dollars a name. If you want something different than you

have now, you're going to have to do something different than you do now. And right now, I'm listening to you and I've been coaching people with money for 35 years and your duplex idea is broken. It sucks. It's taking money from you. It's not adding money to you. And you're living like a 12 year old in terms of how you're handling money. You just spend it until it's gone and

adult step back and get over the top of the money and tell the money what to do before the month begins on the every dollar app. Make every one of those dollars behave and then go do that exact thing with that money and you're going to be no worse off. You're actually going to be better off because you're going to be in control of it and right now you just spend until you run out and your stuck at your parents house at 24 years old. And so on top of that, on top of your

post office job, I want you to go get a second job. You're 24, you're unattached. You're living

at home. Go get a second job so you can start earning more money than just three or four grand a month and you can sock that money away, begin to build yourself an emergency fund, begin to build yourself a financial cushion so you can get your own place one day. Yeah, and get right now is the time to work like crazy. It's your own life. Yeah, as soon as possible. As soon as possible. Hannah is with us in New York, New Jersey.

Hey, Hannah. What's up?

“Hello, Dave and John. Thank you for taking my call along. Sure. How can we help?”

My question is about charge off and how long they stay on the credit report seven years from

date of last activity. Okay. All right. So I have one in which it's recorded that on my credit report, I paid it all, I paid my last payment, not paid it all, but my last payment was in May of 2019, and that's exactly the same month in the year. They closed it. Yeah, closing it doesn't matter. The date the last date you paid on it or used it in any way. The last date there was any activity on the account seven years later, it will not be on your

credit bureau report. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. That doesn't matter. They still will sue you.

Whether it's on your credit bureau report or not doesn't matter, they still it's still a legal debt.

Right. Dropping off your credit bureau report does not help you. It only helps you go borrow more money.

“Well, I'm not interested in borrowing. That's what I mean. That's why Dave says it doesn't matter.”

But I get's wondering, but I would just wonder how long it takes to come off and you say seven or less meet. Seven years from the date of last activity and they could choose to do a report on it and start the seven years over because that's at the inactivity coming from them is also activity. So what kind of debt is this? Okay. Well, you look quite a card debt. Okay. And how much is it? It's like six thousand something.

And what do you make a year? 50,000. Okay. Do you have any money at all? No, not right now. Not right now. I'm trying to save up. All right. After it. If it drops off in May and I don't think it will, probably. It usually they download the data on the credit bureau's once a quarter. And so May would be the seven year date and sometime in the following quarter, it might drop off.

Okay. And if you called them and offered them 500 dollars cash as settlement in full, they might take it. And that would clear up the debt. But it wouldn't be paid in full. It settled in full and it'll be on your credit bureau as settled, a bad debt that was settled for seven more years. Doesn't keep you from doing anything, but it does keep you from getting another credit card hopefully.

For a while, anyway. But that'll get it actually out of your life to settle it with them. And super old credit card debt, they will settle for pennies on the dollar. Get it in writing and do not give them electronic access to your checking account if you're going to do that. , and then you're going to do that. And then you're going to do that.

“Cori isn't Baltimore. Hi, Corey. How are you? I'm well, Dave. How are you?”

Better than I deserve. What's up? So I am currently trying to figure out if it would be a good idea or if it's morally okay to

and early as July and as late as December.

“Okay. What kind of a position are you talking about accepting?”

So I will be transferring from my current, I work within a school and I will be transferring to another building within the district, but I don't want to take another, I don't want to accept another position knowing that I may be gone at early as July. I heard that. What kind of a position are you talking about? You're asking me if it's morally acceptable to do this. What is it? School of Social Worker. Okay. So if you take this, you're going to move from one school to another as a social worker.

Yes. Okay. And so, a good way to test ethics is very simple.

Treat other people like you'd want to be treated. So the supervisor and the principal at that school,

where you would be going, if you were sitting in their seat, how would you want Corey to handle this? Well, once somebody who is being forward with me and, you know, is being honest about the fact that it may happen or it may not happen. So what is it dependent upon? What would cause the move to happen? Accepting a job in that area. So you're continuing to look for a different job while you

took the new job, but in a different state. Yeah, we were looking to relocate. We remember my family and I, oh, is your wife have a job? See, yes, he does. In the new place? No. So we're both looking to relocate, but that's kind of what is delaying this now because we haven't found anything in that area yet. I would take the job. The chances of this all working on on this timeline that you've imagined is slim and non-right now. Neither one of you have a new job in the new place.

Right yet. Are you a finalist for a job in a new place? No, it's just, uh, she's from that area. So she, we're wanting to move back down. So right now, it's just a discussion. Yeah. So where did you, where did you come up with actually talk to anyone about being hired there yet? Yeah, where did you come up with July or December? We've been applying places, but we haven't counted anything back. But yeah, we've been pretty

active about it, but haven't heard anything back. Well, the answer to the question, you answered the question yourself. The answer to your question is it moreally acceptable to take the new job.

The answer is yes, if you tell them, I think we might move, but I'm not sure yet.

And I want to give you a heads up on that before you give it before you give me this position. And then based on that, they have to make their decision as to whether they want you or not. In this school district, would that conversation cost you your job? I don't think it would cost me my current job. What about the new one? It could potentially cost you the new one. Okay. Then stay where you are. Is the new and more

money and a promotion or any sort as to just a different location? It would be a better work environment.

“Yeah. Okay. Well, I think you just have to be upfront. I mean, that's how I would want to be”

treated if I was the principal at the new place. I don't want to go to the trouble of onboarding a guy going through all the paperwork crap, everything else. No one is going to be going to six months and he didn't tell me. If you're going to work for a company, I am in an executive type role. I 100% wouldn't hire you. But if you're going to work for the local coffee shop as a barista, well, they turn over like yesterday's underwear anyway. So it doesn't matter, right?

So it depends on the environment that you're going into is high turnover situation. I mean, if you're going to work at Home Depot as a clerk, they're not expecting you to be there in six months anyway. So, but here you're kind of making a commitment. So you need the people, you're making a commitment to need to make their decision based on the actual knowledge of what's going on. Otherwise, yeah, you're misleading them and that is unethical. I agree with your,

“I think your conundrum. I think your heart was already telling you that, wasn't it?”

Yeah. Yeah. That's why you asked a question. You want to ask the question if you didn't make conscience about it. But I would also say, like, I'm trying to imagine, I worked in education for 20 years. If somebody came and sat down and said, hey, thank you so much for this opportunity. I want to be honest with you. My wife wants to move back to be around her family. We haven't found anything. We haven't found anything. That might happen someday. It's going to take us both

table that we do have a family vision of going back home one day. I would say, I want you on my

“team for that level of integrity. And I would take the gamble probably. It's not all going to work”

out in six months. And so if you're a great social worker, man, there's going to be schools line and up for you to come work for them. So, I, yeah, I be honest, but also tell the whole story. And then let the chips fall where they find fall. Yeah. Tell the story and then you can let you sleep at night. You go, okay, they didn't want me because of that. I'll stay where I am fair. And so the price of me, the price of my integrity is I get to stay in this places less, less good

environment. Sure. Wow. I look for a, look for a new job in the other state. So, yeah. And that's

always, always, always when you get to the end of your life, a good thing that you did it.

Jaden is in Oklahoma. Hi, Jaden. How are you? I live here. I'm very well. How about you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, well, I'm curious about if I'm being maybe a cheap skate

“about buying an engagement ring. Yes. 75 cents, David Bastards turn the knob brother. If you have to”

ask the question you are, now I'm kidding. I'm messing with you. So, what do you think about spending? Right now, I'm thinking about 4,000. Okay. And what do you make a month? In a month, I make five. Okay. That's okay with me. That's not cheap skating. I tell people no more than a month soon come. The jewelry store tells you three months soon come, but they sell jewelry. Kelly's producing the show right here. She just passed out.

You don't like that, Kelly? She wants about seven or eight months. Wow.

Okay. So here's the thing. There is no direct correlation between the length and quality

of the marriage to the expense of the ring. As a matter of fact, there might be an inverse correlation that the more expensive the ring, the less likely you are to actually make it. Where is this cheap skate idea coming from? You are from her or your buddy? It's more from her. She's she's something that's really beautiful ring than more like the six seven eight kind of range, but we're both still in debt and I'm just trying to figure it out. All right. Have you had a difference in four and six

is not a deal breaker one way or the other? No. But have you had that conversation with her? Yeah. She said she wants the same. Yeah. We said that. You know, the conversation underneath the conversation about, hey, we both owe a bunch of money. And I know you, I would love to be able to buy you an eight, 10,000 ring. I don't have a kind of money. Do you want me to save up and give you this like you have you all had that conversation?

Maybe not the way you're closing it. If you can have that conversational set you up to have a great marriage to the rest of your life. Yeah. Because that's that's marriage right there. Being able to have the question that is actually the question beneath the thing you all are fighting

“about. Yeah. And here's the thing. It doesn't have to be forever either. It's one ring.”

So Sharon's is a her engagement ring is a point two three. I mean, you can't even find it where the magnifying glass is so stinking. Man, talk about she bought low point. She bought low three. She ROIed that one, man. Yeah. Well, guess what? The thing she wears on her hand now is causing car paternal syndrome. So, um, I don't have one, because I look directly at one top light that she bring in Hollywood actors with. That's exactly right. But yeah, but yeah,

we traded at the point two three and it's in the safe. We kept it for sentimental reasons, but not for value reasons. And it's worked for 44 years. So yeah, yeah, I think the conversation around it, Jaden, is more than the cost. Yes. It's more important than the actual cost in this situation. So, but somewhere around a month and four to six is somewhere around a month. You're right. If you tell me 18,000, now we got a different problem. Now you're in Kellyville and that's a whole

bunch of love with drama. Oh. Oh. [Music] Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Wins Credit Union Studios. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloni. Ramsey personality number one bestselling author is my co-host today. Ray is in San Jose, California. Hi, Ray. How are you? Hey, Dave. It's such an honor to talk to you.

desk. No ball trying to get my and my husband's new life in order. And I have a uncle who is 78

“years old here in California who has asked me to be the executor of his bill. In that he said he”

wants to bless me with his rental property in Arizona in that will. It sounds great right off the bed, but I know you're the expert on a real estate and I just while he's still here with us, is there anything that I should be prepared of? I don't want to walk into a route awakening when he passes and you know if there's $8,000 left on the mortgage or any repair or taxes in here I'm trying to clean up my life and I get stuck in a bear trap. Does he own a lot of other

assets as well? He has kind of like an elderly mobile home that he's leading to a nephew of his and so I kind of looked in the wheel and I said, you know, uncle, if there is a mortgage left which is $8,000 as of today, how would that be taking care of? And he said, well, I would want you to use the money my bank account and I said, well, that's not in your will. So the good news is we have a meeting with his estate planner in May. And so I kind of just wanted to call this show and

get my debts in order. So he's going to give you the property. What was he going to do with the money and his checking account? Who's going to receive that in his will? With the mobile home, was going to be the nephew. Oh, okay. So the mobile, nephew we get the checking account and the mobile home. The house and Arizona does it have a mortgage? It does. There's $8,000 as of today left on the market. Oh, that's the $8,000. So there's no money coming to you currently to pay off that mortgage.

Correct. So what do you think is, oh, just use the money my bank account and I said, well, then you'd have to leave me the money in your bank account. Right. So I'm like, let me call David, get my $7,000. So the will needs to stay to the cash that $8,000 cash comes to you. Other cash and any other cash above $8,000 and the mobile home go to the other nephew, your cousin, I take it. And then you have a paid for house that you're receiving. Do you have any idea what this house

is worth? Right now it looks like $300,000. Okay. So wonderful gift. I've never been to Arizona.

Well, you're going to sell it. You're going to sell it right after he dies. Correct. Yeah, and you're going to use it to have your life. You and your new husband's life and you're going to pay off whatever that you've got and/or bill wealth for you and your kids and your husband and you're going to go for we're doing our need of rental property in Arizona. So any executive, if you look at the word, executive, it has built into it the word execute. Correct. So your job, if you're the executive,

is to execute what the will says. So you're very wise to do what you're doing and make sure that you

“agree with what the will says and that is the only other question I've got is who's going to be pissed off?”

It's got nothing. He doesn't have a wife or any kids. It's just this, this nephew and my self that he says he could trust. What about your mom or dad, whoever's his brother?

Mom or dad, whoever. He's the second uncle. So my dad, my dad isn't left anything. So is

that going to be a problem between you two? Let's be real probably. Okay, then you all need to talk about that before he dies. Yeah. He needs to tell you that that I'm leaving this to your daughter and I'm leaving this to your nephew. Correct. Correct. Because I don't want you to inherit drama. Your job is not to execute drama. Your job is to execute his wishes in the will and sometimes people don't they piss people off after they die rather than while they're alive.

And so that's the case here. So I would make this to where it's a slam dunk because there's no

“question, nobody's mad. If you're going to be mad at somebody, you need to be mad at where at the”

uncle while he's alive. Right. Yeah, not you. You didn't do anything. I appreciate that last question. So when this property comes in and sold and the it's paid off and the only thing that comes out of the sale is the taxes of Arizona or any repairs to get this property up to date. So it can sell and the real estate agent gets their hat and we call it a day. Yep, they're not their half, but they get a commission. Yes. Yes. That's all of the day. And there's no there is no income

or you won't have any income tax. Oh, I didn't reset the base. Yep, stepped up basis on death. Yeah,

“I did not know that. So she's not got to pay capital gains tax on or at all. If she holds it for five”

years and it goes up to 600 grand into taxes on the 300, 300, 300 increase. Excellent. I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. If you saw that within six months, it's proposed. It's supposed that you that you sold it for market value and at time of death. They would you sell it right away or would you just instantly. Okay. You know what it'd be a landlord or you know, no point that you had $300,000 piled in the middle of your table with the kitchen table when you went and bought a rental house in Arizona.

In the state you've never been to. Yeah, that's not even a possibility. So, you know, that and that's

reverse engineering, which is called a sunk cost analysis and that tells you don't do it. Don't keep it. Don't keep it. Don't keep it. Don't keep it. This is how why people keep it. We moved from Atlanta to Chicago and kept our houses a rental. That's a landlord by default. And that always is a recipe for bad things to happen. Like someone changing their Harley oil in your living room. That's when this kind of crap happens right there. That's exactly what happens. Bad idea. Bad idea. So,

yeah, you're, Ray, you're approaching this with a lot of wisdom. You're the executor. You're going to

have to execute and you've already realized that what's in the will and there wasn't money to pay off

your house because the will didn't state what happened to the checking account money. And so now you're having that reworked with the lawyer. That's wise. I would also just ask your uncle to call your dad and say, "Hey, I don't want you to be mad at anybody. I'm leaving this to your daughter

“and you need to be happy for her." And your uncle can do that and it'll keep your dad from getting”

himself twisted. And if you want to get twisted, you can do it now instead of at you later and you don't get into all kinds of drama over a tiny little estate of an old trailer plus 300 grand. And but Dave, we've taken the call where she's going to get 300 grand from the sale of this house and dad's going to be knocking the door and saying, "Where's my cut?" And I want some. Yeah, that should have been mine. That should have been mine. After all, I've done for you

and now all that stuff starts. Yeah. So you've got to go ahead and just nip it in the bud. Nip it, nip it, nip it in the bud. I love what you say Dave, if you need to have a hard conversation about your will, have the courage to do it while you're still alive. Don't be a coward. . [Music] When I talk to people on the rams, he showed 90% of the problems I hear come down to one thing,

not having a plan. They're not living on a budget. They have no idea where their money's going. Money is just happening to them instead of them happening to their money. And guys, that is

“so normal. But it doesn't have to be normal for you. And that's why I want you to go download”

our every dollar budget app. Every dollar not only helps you tell your money where to go with a budget, it also builds a plan to free up extra money so you can pay debt off faster and start building wealth. And the best part, your plan is completely personalized to your life. It's the same advice that you would get if you call the show. And it's right in your pocket. So don't keep living normal. Go download the every dollar app. Answer a few questions and get your plan today.

The ramsy show question of the day is brought to you by why refi defaulted private student loans don't fix themselves. But you can fix them. Why refi helps your refinance into a low fixed rate payment to fit your budget. So you can get back on the baby steps and move forward. Go to yreified.com/ramsy. That's the letter y r e f y dot com slash ramsy might not be in all states. Today's question comes from Brittany and Rhode Island. Brittany writes, "My inlaws are very wealthy,

but they did not save a single dollar for their kids' college expenses and they will leave them

expect to each receive close to $4 million after they pass away. And my husband has over $40,000

“in student loans. Should I be happy that my husband will receive an inheritance later in life instead”

of helping help now? Or is it okay to be annoyed that this debt could have been avoided if they had

planned for their college differently? Here's what I want you to do, Brittany. I want you to go outside

in the garage and open in the car door in the garage and put your hand in it and just slam the door repeatedly because that's about as useful as you spending one second of thought or energy or feelings over this matter. It just is what it is, what it is, they made a decision that they wanted their kids to pay for their own college and they get to do that. And because Dave, I guess she could be annoyed all she wants, but it's just a waste of time and energy and stories. You're about

to be cut, you're gonna get $4 million when they pass away. Assuming you're still married. Exactly, exactly. I don't know why anyone would spend a second of energy over this. His parents made a choice and they clearly have been well for themselves financially. When you married your husband, you knew he had $40,000 in student loan debt and you knew his mom and dad. You just didn't know the numbers around it. Yeah. Pay also just love them where they are.

They're your husband's parents and they're not they don't do things the way you would do them and welcome to in-laws. And you know, you know, no, it's not okay to be annoyed. It's people who have their own business. Yeah, my yeah, let's go. Mind your business. Mind your own business. You can take care of you and your husband and don't worry about what other people do. You spend all your time being annoyed about what somebody else should do. If I had

four million dollars, this is what I would do. You don't have four million dollars, so it's not a problem for you. And you don't get them. You don't get to make this choice. So you make choices. I'm based on what you want to do in your future. And you don't know Brittany that his parents didn't have three friends whose parents paid for their college and they watched their buddies do a bunch of drugs and and get kicked out of school and they told themselves from a place of

value. We want our kids to have skin in the game when they go to college and your husband chose to take out student loans instead of cash loan it. And so if you're going to be mad at somebody, be mad at him, but you don't know why they made the decisions they made and they're about to give you a four million dollars. When they die, relax. Well, I don't even care if you get that out. Choose joy, man. Yeah, just this is work on controlling people that you can control,

which is you and there's one of them. It's the one in your mirror. Yeah, and just move on.

“Oh, my gosh. No, I think I think you've got mother-in-law trouble when you're trying to get”

or give a logical reason of why you're mad at your mother-in-law. See, I think she's got, she's pissed off that they have to pay back this decision. She's pissed off at her mother-in-general and then this just gives her a reason to be. Yeah, that's that's no. You know your business and get up like a lad. A great fool. Go, let it go, frozen. Just let it go. Dave's favorite movie in soundtrack. Glenn is an anchorage. Alaska, hey Glenn, what's up?

So I am self-employed and I have a variable income. So I was wondering how many years I said stay self-employed if I noticed it would become me that my income is not enough to see for retirement.

Well, the variable is not the problem. The problem is it's not enough.

My income is variable, but I'm fine. Yeah. So the problem is not variable. The problem is you don't make enough, right? Yeah, sir. When you have an educational, you have an educational bananza month and then the rest of the month are just dry beans. And the total is still not enough to live on.

“Uh, it's enough to live on, but not to put away for retirement. Oh, that's living. You have to,”

yes, a plan for retirement, a dog food. So I got a plan. I got a plan for retirement. That's part of living. So what do you make? What do you, yourself, employees, so you follow your taxes? What is the profit of the business that you pay taxes on each year? Um, so currently with the assets that I've assets are not profit. What is the profit of the business that your tax return would show me if I opened it up?

I'm so taxes and selling a negative that the, like, there's my bacon gel is

so last year was positive, 13,000 feet before that. Okay, the problem is you're living at the poverty

levels. Sorry, you need a job. Okay. You're not making enough money to eat on. That's the thing.

And then what amounts to as you got some depreciation or something that you're taking,

and that allows you to cash flow 13k, but overall, your assets are going down probably more than 13k, or you wouldn't be getting that depreciation. So you're really not making a living.

“And if you can't see a way to triple that or quadruple that in the next two years, then you need to close”

this and go get a position where somebody will pay you 40, 50, 60,000 dollars a year. You're going to feel rich if you get had that happen. If you made a below average income, you'd feel rich, compared to what you're making now. So it's not the volatility. It's the lack of income overall.

And that's the thing you do. So my friend Henry Cloud wrote a book called "Nessisary Endings."

He said, "We end something, a job, a business, a relationship, or whatever. We end something when we lose hope that it's going to get better in the future." And so if you're married to an alcoholic who's you lose hope that they're actually going to get healed, that they're actually going to get dry and sober, you lose hope, then you have to end that relationship. And because you can't continue to pour into the crazy world. In your case, you have to end this business because we've

lost hope for many years you've been doing this and for many years you've been starving that are doing it and unless you really can tell me there's a reason that I'm going to make 40,000 and not 13,000. I'm going to make 50,000 and not 13,000 showing all my taxes that I really made

“that in real money unless you see that then you need to close this and get a job. And I think you”

probably need to close it and get a job. It's what it sounds like. It's tough to do though. Marks in Greenville, South Carolina. Hey, Mark, what's up? Hey, guys, thanks so much for taking the time to take my call. I've got a little bit of a question about income and kind of providing for my family for the future. Tomorrow I'm sorry short, my wife and I missionaries have come off the field and the

transition back to the states. My wife is we have two kids 14 and 12. My wife is disabled and she's not really able to hold down a job consistently but she's also unfortunately in the position where she doesn't qualify for disability. I just graduated from nursing school which I did a two-year program and I'll be wondering the new job here. And my take home pay every month is right around $4,000. We're able to live because of the generosity of a local ministry here that provides housing

to missionaries to transition to from the field. So it's a low cost rent basically so that we're

“able to kind of live as I look at nursing school. Do you get an LPN and you past your bars?”

Our and it's a restaurant. Okay, so why are you making so little? That's an 80,000 to a 95,000-dollar-year job and you're making 48. Well, it's about the highest offer I got, which is the highest the hospital system that pays the most is right about 70,000 a year. To start, to start, to start, correct. Yeah and I'm brand new. That's not $4,000 a month. That's $7,000 a month, minus taxes.

Wait, wait. What I, I only worked 36 hours a week. So when you do the math, I thought it was like $35 an hour times 36 hours a week and then you stack your taxes. It's like $4,100 a month or something like that. The great news is, as you've entered a wonderful career and if you keep pushing and growing your career, you're going to go up and income dramatically. You can be making 150 within the next three years and in the meantime, you're going to end up renting for a little while and rebuilding your

lives after the mission field, but you've got a good career field to win with. It's that time again, folks. Tax season is here. I know some of you would rather bury your head in the sand until April 15th then face your taxes. But here's a better idea. If your tax situation is complicated, get in touch with a Ramsey trusted tax pro today. That way, they can take the stress off your shoulders and once those tax forms come in and teach you how to keep your

tax bill as low as possible. But don't wait, Ramsey trusted pros can book up fast. Go to RamseySolutions.com/TaxPro to find one who serves your area with excellence. That's RamseySolutions.com/TaxPro

one thing is communication skills. And the good news is that's a skill you can develop. That's why I'm excited about this new book that I've done called Stop Talking Start Communicating. It's now available for pre-order and it's paired with the disc assessment. So it uses your results on the DISC assessment to help you adapt your communication style so you can build trust and connection and influence. If you think about how other people are thinking, it helps you communicate directly to them.

I took this disc 40 something years ago the first time and I took it home. I told Sharon

I said, look at this thing. It's absolutely amazing. It's like she read it and she's like, yeah,

“that's what's wrong with you and I went, no, that is me. And we use it here at the office after we”

when we're hiring people and we can walk up someone's office and there's a disc, their DISC profiles on their wall right before you walk in so you know who you're talking to. So pre-order today 3499 and you get $30 worth of pre-order items which includes an extra assessment which is good for the spouse or friend and that kind of thing. So check it out RamseySolutions.com/Store. Stop talking start communicating. Scott is in at Len. Hey, Scott, how are you? Great. How are you, Dave?

Better than I deserve. What's up? I see on my screen you're a baby-steps millionaire man. What's your net worth? 4.3. Wait a go, man. Give me a little breakdown on that. How's that breakout category watch? So 2.7 is retirement which is 401's Mutual Funds of Ross. 725's of the house and then 1918 and other Mutual Funds in some common stock. Cool. How old are you? 66. 66 and how much of this

4.3 million did you inherit? Well my wife and I each got around $20,000 when our parents

passed away. Were you already millionaires when you got that? Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Cool. So you're

“not millionaires because of inheritance. Not even close. Yeah. So what was your career?”

I was a salesperson. What about your wife? She's a retired dental. We're both retired but she's a dental hygienist. Gotcha. Okay. You have a four-year degree? I do. I have an amastors. Okay and what? Business? Yeah. NBA. NBA. Okay. What was your GPA? Well in undergraduate it was not stellar. I'll admit to that. But in graduate school was 3.35. Okay. 3.35. All right. Cool. All right. So you're smart but not a genius. Okay. Now you had fun when you're in 19. I guess you're supposed to. Good for

you. Good for you man. Yeah. So do you think that if you're 66 you're my age I'm 65. If someone's out there that's 25 and they're listening you think they can still become a millionaire starting from nothing like you did today? You bet. You know it's that yourself first. Stay employed. Stay invested. Okay because you got over half about 60 something

percent of your net worth is in your retirement account. Yes. You're worth 4 million dollars. Your

house is 725,000. Yeah. It's not 7.2 million house. It's 725,000 house in Atlanta, Georgia. Well I live in North Georgia but yeah. Yeah and that's it. Okay. I live in. Yeah so you have a nice home but it is not a mention. No and when we built this house we built our COVID. I had no intentions of having that kind of house. It just turned into it because of rampant building costs for that two-year period when we were building. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But the house is worth that now easy. It's worth

seven and a quarter now right? It is. Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. Good. Good for you. Well done. Well done. Okay so what advice would you have for your 25 year old self? You said that live on stage. Stay employed and keep investing. I heard think I heard? Yes. Stay employed by yourself first.

“Get some term. You know good term insurance. What do you drive? What do you drive?”

Well I just bought a brand new truck. What do you buy? I bought a new MC to Naly. Oh that's nice. Yeah we got our wife all right. We got our Honda pilot. Okay. Very good. Very cool. All right. So a GMC to Naly and a Honda pilot and you're worth four million dollars.

There we go. It's my favorite kind of boat. All right. Hey Scott. Let me ask you this. You've been a salesman. Have you been a salesman your whole career? More or that. I started it. It allows it in the army. I, you know, I had a college. I went in the army. Okay. I made a whopping 12,000 a year. Right. At that time, you know, the game that was. What's the most you ever made in your life any other year? Save on you 200. Okay. So when you're a first starting out salesman you've

got real good months and real tough months. How did you have the discipline or what mindset

“did you have to keep investing during those times? Because those are the times that I'd be tempted,”

especially when I'm younger, trying to support a family that I'm going to hold off. I got an up and down income. I'm going to hold off on the investing. I might put some in savings when I have a really good month. But you, you started investing early. Yeah. I believe it or not. As a young lieutenant, a Templeton salesperson show up at the, at the, at my quarters and

sold me some life insurance, some time life insurance that I'd never heard of, and usual fun.

And, you know, when I was like, well, I don't plan. I don't have any kids. I'm hungry. But, you know, if I have something to happen to, I'm in the military, I'll give my parents something. And that sort of started the whole process. You know, the concept of monthly investments. And, you know, over the 40 years, it's been, you know, up into a, we, Dave and I have been to a lot of damn terms in the market and you just don't panic. Stay in.

Absolutely. I love it, man. Congratulations. Congratulations, Scott. You're a baby steps, millionaire and icon. You give inspiration to everybody out there listening that this still can be done. The great American dream is not dead. Stay off a tick talk. Yeah. And keep investing.

“And keep employed. Keep investing and keep employed. I think you said that like four times.”

Now, just keep working and keep investing and keep working. And then you'll look up and you can do anything you want to do. Because you understand, his income is off of these investments is $400,000 a year. And he, his highest income, he ever made was $200,000. And to all of the regular people, not the TikTok people, the regular people listening, I want you all to hear at four point, what,

four point two, four point two, four point three million dollars, a paid for house, retired.

They went to buy their fancy car and his wife got a Honda pilot. Right? Like, it's, like you said, it's not this fancy BMW. And those aren't bad or wrong or anything. But there is a sense of that's a family that has, is that peace with where they are and what they are. Yeah, I want something

“reliable. And I'll guarantee you she got a Honda pilot because it's grandma car. It's gonna be,”

yeah, it's me the car they drive through us. First of all, the, put the grandkids in. Let a lot of room. Yeah. One of those grandkids is going to take that car one day. Probably. Probably. That Denali will be on the side of the road by the end of the weekend. But I'm just kidding. I need to make a GMC joke there. Yeah. We didn't work. No, it's a great joke. It's a great truck. Yeah.

So folks, the bottom line, the reason we bring the baby steps millionaires on here all the time is

because 89% of America's millionaires. That's nine out of 10. Our millionaires not because of inheritance. 79% received zero. 5% received a small amount, like five or ten thousand dollars. Another 5% received a substantial amount. But after they were already millionaires. And in his case, in Scott's case, he received a small amount after he was already a millionaire. So he did get an inheritance. But a 79% and 5% is 89. That's nine out of 10 millionaires are not millionaires because of

inheritance. That's data. And if you don't agree with that fact, you're what's known as wrong. So quit telling people that they can't do this, compound interest, and self-discipline, and living on less than you make, and living on a budget, and being in agreement with your spouse, actually freaking works. Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real

money problems, and figure out what to do next. Now, you can get that same kind of help anytime

show whether you're making a decision or just want something explained. Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com. Our scripture today, Philippians 419, my God will meet all your needs according to his

glorious riches and Christ Jesus. Our friend Art Laffer says, I never heard of a poor person

spending himself into prosperity. Let alone, I've never heard of a poor person taxing himself

“into prosperity. There we go. Christopher is with us in Seattle. Hi, Christopher. How are you?”

I'm doing good. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? Hey, my wife and I, our total household income is $201,000. I am going to be running for a representative position in my district, and it does come with a $34,000 pay cut since I would be quitting my job. My current career. And so, financially, I know that we can do it. We're nearing

the end of baby steps three, and my wife agrees that I should get involved locally in our

political realm here. And I'm just struggling with the mindset of the fact that we are losing $34,000 and it feels like I'm in a way letting down myself and my family. I'm just trying to figure out how to cope with that. Are you running for a representative seat? Because you want to see change, and you want to be that change, and you're want to get involved

“in your local community? Or are you doing this to just, because you hate working?”

No, I absolutely love my job, but I do want to be a part of the change and to help motivate

others until I'm let everybody know that it takes all of us to create this change.

Let me ask you, I'm sorry, you're a representative of what level the state level? Yes. Okay. Most state representatives have a full-time job. I don't, I was unaware of that. Almost everyone, if all the ones I know personally have full-time jobs. I don't make much money, and they have to. Now, I don't know if that's true in the state of Washington or not, but you might want to investigate that. I'm not sure

that a state representative is a full-time job. Okay. I could also do that research then. I'm not sure. I know, in our state, I know most of the representatives, and a lot of them in our state, I know a whole bunch of them in our immediate areas, certainly, and all of them have jobs. I have to, because I don't make much at the state level. Chris, did your wife make a hundred and seventy, and you make thirty-five? No, I make a hundred and one thousand,

and she makes a hundred thousand pretty much. Okay. So, each of you make about a hundred, but you're going to drop down to sixty-five if you take this roll. Yes. Okay. All right. So, I like the idea of bringing back just to call me old-fashioned public service being a service. It's when I'm going to I, at net loss to myself, I'm going to be in service to my community, and you've got your wife

“supporting backing. I mean, I think it's a hundred and sixty-five thousand dollar household income. And”

nobody, nobody's starving. I think this is a noble thing. Choice, you made. Yeah. And nobody thrusted upon you. You don't have to do it. So, there's no reason to have to cope with it emotionally. If you, like, if you got demoted and you lost anyone from a hundred to sixty-five, you might have to emotionally cope with that loss. Or if your wife was to stay at home, wife with three kids, and this was going to put y'all y'all couldn't pay your bills,

then you'd have a hard decision to make. You have a hundred sixty-five thousand dollar income net, net. I don't know that there's anything to cope with. I would spend zero seconds coping, and all of my energy on being the best public servant I could be. And figuring out if this really is a full-time job. Yeah. Let's see other things. And I don't know what that means. You current career and those sorts of things. Let me say it this way. If your identity is in a number

you bring home versus value you provide to other people and in your relationships, you have an

as my wife, or I make this many dollars, I make this magic number called six figures,

and somehow that makes me better, or I able to like myself more. You're going to have bigger issues

“across the board, brother. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But I don't think that's what's going on.”

It was more like, it was because he's really reaching to do something here that's awesome. Yeah, that's a noble call. Yeah. But if it clashes with this idea that I also have to make this much money, or I'm not a good husband or a good man, I think that's nice for you. Lean into the service, man. That's fair. Josh is in Nashville. Hey, Josh, how are you? Hey, Jay. I'm doing great. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Yeah, it's okay to say that. Yeah, hey, I recently moved to the Nashville area. I'm from Southern California, like so many people here that met. And yeah, right when I moved here, I was sort of caught off guard by my business partner saying, hey, we should sell the business. And so, but then I wasn't really prepared for immensely or financially. So that's something I'm kind of working through right now. In addition to that,

I'm also the process of selling a bunch of real estate. So most of our wealth right now is in real estate. Just to free up more cash. And I'm not sure I can do this, but I'm trying to understand if I can create the option to be work optional based on our assets. So what will you get out of all the real estate and now the sale of the business? What's the big number? Yeah, so the business shouldn't let me out 1.5 and then the real estate another two and then I have. So 3.5 million.

And then I have about 500 in a customer bridge. And then one other essential sources, liquidity

could be our house. We have about a 2.3 million dollar house with a 700,000 dollar note on it. Could we could go down side as well? No, you could just pay off the note either one. All right. So you got like 3 million bucks to work with, give or take. Depending on what we do with the house and then out. All right, or 4 million. So, you know, if you invest that in good growth stock mutual funds, the S&P 500 is average 11.8% since it began. That's the stock market average in other words.

And so if you pulled off 10% off of 4 million dollars, you got 400 grand.

“If you pulled off 8% you know, you'd have 320,000. What do you need to live?”

Yes, yeah. Right now, not a whole lot. You got $10,000. Not quite $10,000, maybe $8,000 a month. Okay. So, $120,000 a year, which is like your money still growing if it's invested in mutual funds and doing nothing but sitting there. That's if you don't do anything else with business and you don't do anything else with a real estate. How old are you? Part of my question. I'm 44. Yeah. Well, you can need to do something.

Yes, yeah. I'm going to understand that. It's not fun. Life's not fun. I mean, you're, you know, you're not going to have fun if you want to do something. You've been doing things your whole life. Now, you have to be stressed out and desperate. No. But I mean, you're an entrepreneur. You've grown businesses. You've built wealth. It's going to take you about 13 seconds to be bored. I'm going to act or see you saying that. Yeah. One of the things that's kind of laying around in my head is

am I employable? Like, look, look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Look at a job. I don't know, a job since I was 24. I was 23. Last thing I would do. You know, I would just do consulting work for somebody. If you, you know, show somebody how to do what you know how to do or I'd go build a business to some kind. Buy some, buy business, start a business or I'd buy some of the real estate.

“But you need to put your hand to something. You know, otherwise you're just going to get fat and”

go fishing. And that's not a good plan. And so you're not going to be, you're not going to like yourself. So I just, you've been doing too much. Now, again, you don't have to do 70 hours a week, 80 hours a week. But you don't need to be a Walmart grader, dude. I mean, that's not, that's not the stage. That's not who you are. And so don't do that. Don't set yourself up for that. But yeah, that's fine. Yes, you are work optional. But in terms of the actual arithmetic, but not your spirit.

Spirit is not work optional. I don't find retirement in the Bible. Now, I often tell folks who are older than you by a decade or two who are retiring, who are looking for, I don't know what to do next, go spend two or three months at a local charity, just showing up every day and serving people. And if you have the entrepreneurial mind, now that you've had for the last 15, 20 years, you will spin up 15,000 ideas on people you can

help and people you can love and businesses that will work to support those folks. And so, yep, that's what I would do. Yep, there's all kinds of things you're going to do. But you got to have a

purpose. The business that wins is always serving. Always. That puts us out of the ramps to show

only one way to financial peace. And that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace Christ Jesus. [Music]