Hoagies, Boundaries & turning Thirteen

- This is the 70 with Lindsey Chrisley.

“- I think it's so funny when you get Christmas cards”

and all of these people write their children's accomplishments on the back. - I don't love them. - A Southern girl and a boy mom, who's trying to navigate life while staying true to her roots.

- I am a functioning non-functioning human being right now. - Join Lindsey each week as she swears to spill the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea. - That is the tea. - Here's Lindsey.

(upbeat music) - Good morning and welcome back to another episode of this other tea. I'm coming to you guys from Dallas and I just wanted to say thank you so much

for all of the kind messages and love from last week's episode. I really appreciate it. I love having Becky on and I just think that she is such a gem and can't wait to talk to her more on this podcast. Madison actually put together a Q&A for this episode

and she is going to be narrating the questions. So we're gonna jump right in. - Hi, hi, everybody.

So first off, we're starting on Facebook.

You guys should join the Facebook group. We're very active in there. So this is from Shannon. Her first question is, can you share some design secrets?

What are some things you've learned by hiring decorators, et cetera?

“- I think it's a really interesting question”

because if I had to do it all over again, I've done it two different ways. So when I moved into what I dubbed my divorce house, I left my mirror at a home with nothing. So I kind of gave design and spoke to a local designer

and left my house for like 12 hours and came back and all of my stuff was there. Like put together, set up great option, very expensive. With my new house, I hired a design team or design firm and gave all of the info,

argued, fought all the way down to ceiling vans. And if I had to do it over again, I think that I probably would use, what are those, have you seen it on Instagram, Madison? It's like, where you take the dimensions of your room

and you give them info and they put it all together? - Yeah, like a virtual interior designer. - Yeah, virtual interior designer. If I had to do it over again,

“I probably would do something virtual decorating”

and furniture I feel like is very expensive. There are ways that you can cut costs by taking more expensive pieces and then adding, like the way fair, rug and stuff like that. My house literally took an entire year to get complete.

- Wow, okay, so I guess a follow up on that is which spot in your house is organized the best and how do you do it? - Which spot in my house is organized the best? - It's your pantry super organized,

is your closet super organized? - I would say my closet is really organized and not as organized is what I would like it to be. The sheet section in the house, okay, so you do my sheets. There was no rhyme or reason to like anything.

There might be a queen top with a king bottom with twin pillow cases, like no rhyme or reason. I went on Amazon and found these, got the info from some person that puts out tips and tricks for the house and they're like these little elastic bands

and they say like king or queen. So it was hours worth of work, Madison. Hours worth of work, but it is one of my favorite parts of my house to be able to just go in and know that absolutely everything is king

or everything is queen. Basket in my pantry are all container store. It's pretty organized, still not as organized as I would like it to be. - Okay, kind of switching gears.

How are you adjusting to having a teenager? - Do you adjust? I don't know. I is 13, like really a teenager, yes by number. I don't really think he's that different

than when he was 12. He's very one thing that I've learned since he entered middle school

and this was not the first,

like semester or quarter of middle school. He was very, very high strong, leaving elementary and then it took him like a whole quarter to settle down. And now I feel like he's kind of found his place at school and so he has more of a place at home.

I do find him wanting to be more independent

Like he can't wait until spring

until he can bust the streets wide open with the electric scooter and a fishing rod. So I don't know, it's hard because you used to before I moved into this house, he slept with me every single night

and now that like really doesn't happen so that's been an adjustment. He's also started to get himself up by his own alarm over the past like two weeks and I am not used to that at all.

- What do you normally use to like waking him up being like, come on Jackson, let's go? - Oh yeah, like multiple times also and then you I will start the shower, go into his bedroom and he still might not be in the shower

and the water's been running for 20 minutes. So it has been it's nice because he's more independent but then it's also hard because he's my only one. - Right, speaking who needs me now, you know? Like who needs me?

- Yeah, speaking of as Jackson ever asked you for a sibling

“if so, like how do you handle that situation or explain it to him?”

- Yeah, it always happens when we've been around somebody

that like if he's been around a friend that has a brother he'll come home and immediately be like, I always wanted a brother and then he's like am I ever gonna get a brother? I'm like, no, like that's not happening.

- Okay, so no more kids for you. You're not gonna pop up with like two or three more. - I don't know what I'm gonna do about it. (laughing) - Okay, Jade asks, what area do you feel

like you set the most boundaries in your life and what area do you think the least? - I would say, I feel like my answer is gonna be different than what everybody else would say my answer should be. Most areas in my life that I set boundaries, nowhere.

I talk about boundaries and don't have them. So, period, I guess I mean it's like, I need to be in like boundary therapy.

“- Yeah, I think a lot of therapy could help you.”

Like you could say, yeah, I'll put that boundary up but actually putting it into places hard. - I talk about boundaries all the time. I'm like, I should be doing X, Y, and Z and it's like I need a bedtime routine.

I've been talking about that probably for five years and it's like I need to go to bed by 10. So that I can be up and be functioning. Like, that should be a non-negotiable. I talk about it all the time, I don't do it.

I say things in a relationship, I don't do it. With Jackson constantly pushing the boundary and I give in. So like boundaries are not a thing that I know what to do with. - Okay, well, you mentioned a routine

and I know you love your Pilates and somebody was wondering, did you ever take your Pilates instructor class? Do you become a plan on becoming an instructor? What's the update with that?

- So I had been really excited to be able to do that. However, it was way more extensive than what I was initially led to believe. I was told it was like 60 hours and yes, there is a portion of it that is 60 hours.

But then there's a whole other portion, like it's taking the average person to get certified to do Pilates almost a year and training to get the certification.

And the first part of it is 60 hours for every weekend

until you complete the 60 hours. So I don't really have the ability, I have Jackson every other weekend. And I'm not quite sure that I want to be training in a Pilates studio for eight or nine hours

on the weekends that I don't have him. Also Madison, I don't know if you're aware but the first 10 weeks of 2026 turned into a shit show. So that plan kind of went to the wayside when everything else did.

- Oh, I just thought you were just throwing everything to the wayside to become a planning instructor. Was that part of the plan? - I wish that could have been the plan. Like that was the plan, in fact.

And then the plan just kind of wanna life had other plans. - Right. - Right. - I do still, however, want to do that.

“I think though, my studio where I take classes,”

only does it once a year. So I would have to wait until the next calendar year to get certified through that certification program. Probably at my best interest. - Okay, I mean, I can certainly agree with that.

What is it about Pilates for you?

Is it like a mental release?

“You like the routine, you go in the morning, right?”

Most morning. - Well, that's another thing. So I was going pretty much every like 90 in class and then somehow like my schedule got off and I found myself going to like six p.m.

and then sometimes I might be in there at 4 p.m. And then 10 a.m. So, I mean, with the schedule and everything

that's transpired over the first part of the year,

it's been hard to kind of stay routine with that. And then obviously elephant in the room, I have not been doing lots of Pilates through breakup. So if I decide to go, I'll just get on the app and try to book a last minute class

and then if I don't, then I don't go. - The Southern Tea Podcast is brought to you by progressive insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary musicians, these are things that people say

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“I think it's hard to put ourselves first”

when you're going through a hard season of life. Whether it may be a break-up, some personal other things going on, whatever it is, it's so hard too, but it is so important to even that last minute decision

and say, hey, I'm gonna book that class, do something for yourself. So, I found my bed. Like, I have found myself bed rotting mostly over the last two and a half weeks.

Pilates hasn't really been on my priority list, which is kind of sad because at one point, it was like parenting relationship, Pilates in that order. And then two of the three went away.

And so, I just needed a little time, you know, to just, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. But I will say it is a release in a lot of ways. And I feel like people can understand,

like, you do Pilates, right? - Yeah. - Do you go to the regular gym? - I go to mat Pilates. I do like a hot mat.

- Oh, mat Pilates is hard as hell. - Yeah. - I like it much better 'cause I'm not really coordinated. So whenever I'm on the reformer, I'm literally, I'm like, I can't.

They're like, put your arm up and you're about, I'm like, I'm gonna fall in my face. - So. - Wait, you think that mat Pilates is easier than reformer?

- Yes. - Really? Because of the balance? - Yeah. Is it balance or coordination medicine?

- Okay, it's a little bit of both. I'm not coordinated at all. I don't even know how to like, throw a ball. That's like the issue. Like if somebody comes at me and says,

oh, catch this ball, it's nine times out of sin. Go to fall in the floor. So. - So like when you burred dog, you don't. - No, not in the reformer.

So like, I think it's just like,

'cause I'm a little taller, you know? I'm only like five, nine, but I can't even touch my toast. - Hey. - So. - What?

- You said I'm only five, nine. - Yeah. That's tall as hell. I don't know. I live in New York, you know?

Like, give me some of those inches, girl.

“Like, so what I'm saying is I'm not as flexible, you know?”

So it's hard for me, but I do like math. - I am super flexible person. Like, think of gumby, you know, like back in the day.

Like that little green, like that's me up bodies

and I love it so much. It is a emotional stress relief. It is a mental stress relief. I love the aspect of it being so routine, like when it's routine,

I work very well as, you know, off of a Google calendar and a schedule. - I agree. - Yeah, schedule and Google calendar. - Time zones, guys.

Time zones are a thing. (laughing) - We're not today. Somebody asked, how did you know, kind of changing gears here?

How did you know divorce was the right thing, currently going through one in questioning if it's the right decision? - This is like a loaded question. Number one, I look back on the entire situation

and I know that people like ride hard for thinking that will and I are ever going to get back together. And it just blows my mind. It's like every time I go through a breakup, it's like we're really like rooting for you

for your marriage. And I'm like, my marriage was gone four years ago. Like, yeah, so I get it.

But I never wanted to be my parents.

“And I think that I distinctively remember,”

I don't think I've actually ever talked about this before. I distinctly remember one night after Jackson was born. I think he was roughly around six months old. And I've called my dad and I said, hey, this isn't gonna work.

Like, I need to get out of this marriage. And he brought my sister and Julie over and they watched Jackson. My dad and I went to a pizza place with Will. We had the conversations and I just repeatedly said,

I'm done at that point. I think my dad was probably trying to do the right thing by saying like this is the decision that y'all have made and y'all brought a child into this world and you need to figure it out.

And so at that point, I didn't necessarily feel like I had the support to divorce. I felt, I don't want to say trapped. I think that's maybe the wrong word. I didn't have enough confidence to make that decision on my own

without feeling like I was gonna disappoint someone. And I feel like it's so important to be able to have a support system around you.

“However, I think support systems also can”

jade decisions as well. I've seen it through breakups. Everybody has an opinion, just like we all have assholes. You gotta be really careful. I would highly suggest going to a therapist

that specializes in stuff like that. And when you know you know, I knew when Jackson was six months old, stuck it out, I thought, by the bigger, build the bigger house, by the new cars, just associate from certain friendships. Only spent time as a family of three, shut yourself off

from the world. And then that lasted till 2017. And then I filed, moved to Nashville, came back to Atlanta. Stayed with him until 2021, I think, is one way to worse. If I had to do it all over again, I would have listened to

my gut instinct from the jump. Yeah, I think that's so hard for so many women that are your stuck in a cycle. And especially if there's kids involved, you're like, great, I'm going to impact my kid.

This is no longer just me breaking up and you know, it's over. So I think it's hard also, I'm from, right? Like, it's hard, you come from divorce. You don't want to continue to repeat cycles.

Like, I'm a quitter.

And it was something that I should have quit.

Before Jackson was even a year old, yeah, I think he was under a year old, I don't even know if the world knows this, but I've moved in with my Nanny and will lived in our mayor at all home and Jackson and I left. And I think we were separated for six months that time and then a couple of months in 2017 and then final in 2021.

Wow. Yeah, I mean, I think it's really hard. I mean, most Americans come from divorce. My parents are divorced, everybody I know, nine times out of ten. Their parents are divorced.

When his parents are actually together for a long time, I'm like, oh, wow, that's shocking.

“So unfortunately, that's what it looks like.”

Yeah.

It's more of when you come from it and then you've done it and you see people who are

together that have been together, like, for example, my grandparents before he died. It's like, you know, 30 years together, however many years and it's like, how did that happen? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that should be the norm, but I think it's not.

Yeah. I agree. I think it's just like, people, at least, back then when my parents had me, like, my parents didn't even know each other for a year before my mom got pregnant and they were just casually seeing each other and it's like, well, let's go get married because that's what you

do. Oh, so you were a casual one, too. That was like, yeah, early on and dating for them. So I don't even know what my parents were doing other than clearly fucking around. But I definitely wasn't, I wasn't the plan.

Yeah. I think things are very, very different, especially when kids get in broad into the mix and trying to not repeat cycles and all that stuff. When it's hard, I was just talking when I was recording with Kale yesterday about divorce and it's like, if you look back on all the decisions that you've made in your life, would

you have still chose that person and obviously hindsight's 2020. But no. Like as 36 year old Lindsey, I wouldn't have made the same choices that I made at 19 and 22 years old. So I think that's very hard and when you have children, you have an obligation to those

children. It's no longer just you, right? When you're in a dating relationship and there's no kids involved, it's just you and that other person. So the obligation is to your own self when you're talking divorce and there's kids involved.

“You have to think of your children, you have to think of yourself, there's, you know, thought”

process, okay, how is this also going to affect extended family, like all of those things? And it is one of the heaviest weights I feel like that anyone can carry and, you know, unfortunately, it is a weight that you carry if you have children until they're grown. And it even goes past 18 years old because you're going to be weddings. There's going to be grandchildren.

And there's going to be all of these things like that person that you were married to and have

children with is never going to go away.

Yeah. They're going to be with you forever and ever and ever. So choose wisely. Wait. Did your parents get along?

So they didn't. So they got divorced, they separated when I was three officially divorced when I was five. So I'm an only child. So I knew, I never knew them together. So they, I would say, throughout my childhood, it was kind of like dad having every other weekend.

And then when I entered high school, I was like, okay, you can decide what you want to do. And I was like, okay, cool. So I stayed with my mom, saw my dad. He picked me up. He was more involved.

“But I think definitely as an adult and when I needed support for my parents, they both”

pulled up to the play. And then like, okay, it doesn't matter. Or you're going to figure this out. So. So interesting.

I have a question for you. Do you think that it's easier? There's a lot of people that just kind of like skate through life and, you know, they've been married and they have these children and they're like, okay, we're going to wait until they're grown.

And then the kids go off to college and then mom and dad divorce. Do you think that it is easier to go ahead and pull the plug when you know the plug means to be pulled? Or do you think it's easier with the kids being older and out of the house like which child

Do you think suffers more? I think if you have your kid grow up in the toxic relationship and be around that cycle when you guys are teetering on divorces worse in the long run because I feel like your frontal lobe is fully developed right till what 25, right? Live audience included the frontal lobe might still not be developed.

Right. Well, men are very delayed so it makes sense. But I think, yeah, I think this, I'm a very like, pulled a bandaid off type of person. So I think as hard as a conversation it is, I think it's better to be like, hey, this isn't working out and depending on the kids age, like explain it to them in that way.

“And I think, yeah, you don't want your child to grow up and think this is love, you know?”

Because when they want to get into relationship one day, they're going to, oh, this is what my parents did. They stayed together when I knew they should have been divorced. So I think, I don't know, trying not to repeat toxic cycles, it's better to just get divorced.

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code southern tea at checkout. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support my show and tell them that we sent you. You're saying that you said that you don't have any memories of your parents being together neither do I.

And so I've had that conversation through therapy about like, what does that type of therapy that you can do that like unlocks trauma so you can like deal with it? Like it's there, but like you don't know about it. I don't know. I don't know what it's exactly called, but I know what you're talking about.

So she had asked me, she was like, do you want to, whatever the type of therapy is called? She's like, do you want to do this? And she's like, there's two caveats of this situation. What you don't know, if you have the mentality of what you don't know, cannot hurt me, then that's advisable.

If you have the mentality of what I don't know, I want to know, then like, that's something

“that you need to work through in therapy, I can tell you now confidently.”

I would never want to unlock traumas that I'm not consciously aware of.

I did not struggle with my parents to worse. I struggled with how they co-parented or lack of co-parenting and lack of being able to be decent people to each other. That's very triggering to me. But as far as struggling with the divorce, I didn't struggle with it at all and I would,

I would even argue to say, I somewhat did Jackson a disservice until he was eight years old. I should have, if I would have pulled the plug when he was six months old versus eight years old, there's certain things that we currently navigate that I know I would not be navigating if I would have done it then. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Yeah.

I never saw my parents together at all to the point where it was during COVID.

“I'll never forget we were going through old photos and it was my parents wedding photo and”

I've never seen my parents like hold hands or anything and I was like, oh my God, this

My mom's like, is it cool and I'm like, well, it's to me because I've never seen you guys

together.

“So, did they live in the same state like they did for a long time?”

They, I grew up in South Florida so I grew up in Miami and then for Latterdale so they lived within 30 minutes of each other till 2018. So he was around a lot in vice versa. And I'm an only child, so it makes things different because it's not like I can hear a filtered conversation through my siblings, it's like, no, we just tell you what it is.

So. Only children, it's so interesting to me. I'm like, what would that be like, I mean, I feel like I was like made to be an only child and you still my parents out all the time, like, why did you keep doing this to me? But I don't know, I don't know what that mindset would even look like to be an only child.

Like it would have to be somewhat lonely, but at the same time it would have to be very fulfilling.

I think, I mean, I grew up, I always, my mom, especially like ages, like five to ten,

I've always was doing something after school, right? I was always meeting friends, I always had social plans and I think as I was growing up in middle school and everything, I just grew extreme independence, like, even to this day, like, last weekend, I didn't have any plans and people would be like, oh, poor me. I'm like, yes, I'm going to go to Pilates when I want to.

I'm going to go read my book for four hours and put my phone in a lake. Like, I, I absolutely love it.

“And I think in today's society, so many people struggle with being alone and maybe”

that comes from how they grew up, maybe that comes from being in, like, a toxic relationship, but I, I, I love my independence and I thrive in it. I'm the oldest of five and I absolutely love to be able to take a nap by myself. Do you like doing things alone though, like, what's your level of independence? If I can't do what I want to do with the person that I want to do it with, then yes,

I would prefer to do those things alone, like, but not really, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, I don't. Like, I don't. Company.

I like the company, but I do think that that somewhat growing up in a large family,

like, somebody was always there and that truly was something that I struggled with a little

bit after my divorce, Jackson was gone half the time, right? And then, like, what am I supposed to do with me? Yeah. You know, I get that. I grew up in a small family. It was just like me, my grandparents, and my mom and my dad, like, that's it.

So, no drama. Oh, there was drama. There was drama. Let me tell you. There was drama.

But, yeah, it was just, I, I always crave, like, a large family. So, well, maybe you'll have one, Madison. Maybe, but I'm gay, so it's expensive, so if anybody wants to donate to the GoFundMe, and I'm just going to, you're like, on second thought, goFundMe, okay, next question. All right.

Let's do a little lighter question.

“Where do you get your daily devotional readings from?”

There's a daily devotional app. I can send you the link so that we can post it. And then, also, I have one by my bed that is from Altered State, okay? They have a lot of really, like, isn't Altered State Christian company? Yes.

Yeah. They have a lot of really great devotional, normally they come out with them, like, seasonally. I get one from their every, around, like, November or December before the New Year. Okay. Nice.

And the one that I currently have is like, I'm not into a cult coloring, like, I don't know. I'm good personally. Like, personally. That is, you know what I mean?

I'm not into it. But I was gifted a coloring book, like, devotional situation. So when you open it up on one side of the page is a coloring page on the other side is the devotion. I read the devotion, but I've never colored anything in it, but they've got really, really

cute stuff. I altered State. Okay. Why? I couldn't imagine Lindsay, I'm at your embed, right?

You're reading your devotional and you're, like, let me whip out my coloring pencils one second. Can you imagine? Like, I did that to admit me. She's down bad if you hear that Lindsay suddenly coloring.

So with you going to Disney recently, what was your favorite thing to do? What's your must do's at Disney?

I would say my two favorite activities that we did at Disney was the drive-in theater Hollywood Studios and the Crystal Palace Magic Kingdom, neither of them disappointed. On a high Madison, like, I don't know what it is about Disney, but they just do it so well and the costumes are just pristine and the, I don't know, the little carriages and stuff that they bring them on and it's like this full-blown production that's just so

good and just seeing so many people that are around, I'm not even a people person. Like, I actually do not like people, but seeing all of the people around being able to like enjoy that experience and they're as excited, well, I don't know if anybody was as excited as me.

“You're more than all the kids at Disney, I think you're the most excited for sure.”

I think you're the most excited for sure. Like, I don't know, like, that was way better than the season for a period. It was like me at five years old, that's like a magic me in five. Such a good time, I highly, highly recommend the, it's not called Fast Pass, but lightning lanes, like the lightning lanes, purchase them before your park day, pre-register your

first three rides, stay on top of it, once you use one lightning lane, you can immediately

activate another one and so I do kind of feel like that's a little bit of an art. You've got to be like a really like Disney girl lead to get behind doing something like that and I think it probably drove the people that I was with crazy, but honestly, a really good time and we stayed at Disney's Yacht Club and I thought the hotel was wonderful. For parents, well, obviously, it would only be parents listening to this, but parents

or grandparents. Disney Yacht Club was totally worth every penny that was spent. Disney is expensive, just period, but it's right off of the boardwalk. They have a cool little, like, speak easy inside the hotel. The food was, was good for Disney.

“People like brave about Disney food, do you think Disney food's not that great?”

No, I don't, like, that is one thing that I cannot get behind every single time I go to Disney. I watch the reels of, like, the foodies that go and I tell myself, like, I'm going to go to all of these places and I'm going to get these things that everybody talks about. Number one, I don't even like the things that I would be getting, so it's, like, a waste

of money. But number two, like pineapple doll-whip. That sounds good to me. No? That sounds terrible to me.

Do you like sweet, try not to say ice cream? What? Do you like a sweet treat? No. Live audience, doesn't it?

Well, there you go.

“I mean, do you like the chicken leg, isn't that like a big thing?”

Oh, my God. Okay, so when I was growing up, my mom and her still her husband, but it was my stepdad, would take us to Disney almost every single year.

And we would always want to go to the restaurants and he's like, no, we're not doing

all of that. We'll do, like, one character, whatever, and then we've got to get from, like, the hearts, and he would try to get us to share turkey legs, and, like, I'm so traumatized from that, from my childhood, that when I see people walking around with it, it's literally this size of an entire turkey.

Yeah. I love how you just said you were traumatized by a turkey leg. That's a great, put it on a t-shirt. I just, I can't, I don't even like turkey, I don't think. It's like dry.

I don't like it. I never have it during Thanksgiving, so I'm like, are you like turkey or ham girl? I'm a honey-baked ham girl. I don't like either, really. I don't like a cold meat.

Mm. Valid. Like, do you eat cold cuts? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, this is a psychother thing about me.

If I go to, like, a sub-shop, always ask them if they can heat it up, because I do not

like, cold meat. Oh my gosh. That's very, that's very psychotic behavior. Now in New York, we have a lot of delies and, like, every corner, and they can make you a sandwich within, like, two minutes.

So. Okay, so it's funny that you say that, because we're having a conversation at dinner last night, and Kale was like, what do you all call a sandwich, and I'm like a sandwich?

I said a sub. She said no.

I said no, it's called a hogey, what?

Like, what the hell is a hogey? Never heard of it. Like, why do I hate that word? No, I don't like-- No, I don't like it.

Hogey. Hogey. Hogey. Oh, okay. So it says, it's a Philadelphia style sandwich served on long, crusty Italian roll, typically

loaded with cold cuts, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, top with all of vinegar and spices. That literally is a sub sandwich.

Yeah, it's literally-- yeah.

I don't know who made up the word hogey, but the rebranding was awful, so it's a sub sandwich. Like, do you like the word? Hogey, no. It's like, on my list with what's the word that I hate moist and-- Oh, I hate the word moist, awful.

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“Yep, speaking of food, what's you and Jackson's favorite place to go to eat together?”

Are you guys foodies like that or no? I'm kind of a foodie, but I normally reserve being a foodie for dates like with an adult. I try to think somewhere that we, you know, Jackson loves a place called Donnie's Pizza. He gets a Alfredo something there. We tried to make it homemade at home, and he said it was absolutely terrible.

It was absolutely delicious, but he always wants to go there and get that pasta.

He and I have been doing sushi, like a decent amount recently. What's your sushi order? How do you say that word? Shishimi? Shishimi?

Shishimi? Mm-hmm. Let's see, what else? I like like a spicy, what is that called a spicy shrimp roll? Is that what I get?

A spicy shrimp roll? Shrimp tempura roll. Okay, let's see, sometimes just a, just a tempura roll. Okay. Okay.

I think that's what I'm going with. In Jackson, he, I mean, he might as well just get like rice with some cucumber because it would be so much cheaper, but he wants it in the roll, but it's just a cucumber roll. And then he'll get an order of edamame. He's really good about eating those beans, which is kind of weird, because the only

other bean that I've ever heard on that child to, to like to eat is a pea. Really? A pea. Can you imagine?

“Can you be, imagine being somebody, being like the only bean I like is a pea?”

No, I can, okay, next question, Jen was wondering, have you talked to nanny lately? Time is process and so is she.

Actually, she tried to call me yesterday.

And I tried to call her back and her phones off, and please tell me why I immediately like start thinking of nanny, you got three, like I don't understand why my mind went there. I got done with dinner last night, and I saw that she tried to call, so I tried to call her back while it was in the bathroom and called three times, and the phones off.

And it's like, why would your phone be off at the time that the entire world is searching for another eight-year-old woman? Yeah, that case is really odd to me.

“Did you see, I'm not sure for 100%, but I think they turned the house back to the family.”

So I had seen that there were cars that were out of the house, or like a larger police presence, and is there a guest house at the house? Maybe. I think there's some type of like guest house, something behind the house, and they allegedly were searching in there.

I do believe the house has been turned back over to the family. Actually, it was so crazy, so you know how the internet just trolls us all day every day? Yes. I'm just scrolling through TikTok, and have you ever run across those pages? I'm pretty sure they're like trying to rage by us, but it said that Nancy got through

was found. Oh my God. And so I'm watching this entire, like, three and a half minute long video, and I've seen nothing else, like how does this one TikTok or know about this? And then I Google it, and it's like, no, the family has increased the ransom, or whatever

reward is, to a million dollars.

Did you see that her daughter has not returned to her position with the today show yet? No. I don't know if she's going to, like, what is she going to smile at 7 a.m. and just be like, here's the news going on in the world, my mom's missing her death, like, how do you move on from that?

“I mean, not that it's anything the same, but like the only thing that I can relate”

it to is, Kayla and I'll be going through some of the most traumatic shit, and it's like, let's go geeky on a podcast, like, it's still, that happened. Yeah, I know, it's so, it's so crazy. Like, I think, I mean, she can retire, she'll be fine, so, I don't know, we'll see. Retire from, like, today show, yeah, like, do they have retirement?

I would assume so. She's been there for over 10 years, so, well, yeah, with the same time. I mean, even back in the day, remember, the Matt Lauer case, and he had to be, like, let go, he, I bet, is fine, too. I mean, they make so much money, so, yeah, okay, let's do, like, two more people love your

hair, Lindsay, what's your best blonde hair products, what are you like using? I switched it up, but I had my hair done this morning, and I think I'm going to go and buy the whole Olaplex line, which I did use to use Olaplex all the time until it became a trend on social media where hair salice were like, they were so upset, remember? Because it used to only be, like, a salon, like, it's a one product, and then they started

selling it, I can't remember, it was like, older, so far, wherever you could get it, and they started with damaging so many girls hair, because they weren't properly used in the product, so I just threw all my Olaplex away, well, when I was having my hair done this morning, she was like, oh, well, you need to get, like, this leave-in conditioner, and

“you need to get this old, which already had the old, but I think I'm going to go back”

to all Olaplex, I never remember having any damage from Olaplex products, I've also heard

great things, if you're looking for, like, a more affordable line, the purology line if you ever tried that, I have not, I've tried Olaplex though, I like it, did you like it or no? I liked it, yeah, I was a little too heavy on my hair, so I go for something more lighter usually, but also, my hair's not going to look like this in a week, so, could you imagine

I just like Britney Spears it, and I'm like in a TMZ article, like smashing somebody's windshield with a baseball bat, with no hair, I mean, I hope not, but like it's giving, it's giving that, do you believe all press is good press, no, but anybody else in the same business,

your thought process, like how you consider your job, again, going back, now full circle moment like boundaries, like what is too much information, yeah, you're going to get clicks and likes and controversy, stirred up, and whatever, off of bad press, I guess, but like why would you want that for your life at the big age of 34, you know? I definitely agree, and it can get just exhausting to having everybody's opinion constantly

and analyzing your life when they're not in your shoes, and it's just ridiculous. It's hard because we were talking about yesterday, Perry social relationships, and those relationships, I don't care what anybody says, like they're like a real, it's not a real relationship, like Perry social relationships are real, and people get so invested in whatever story, it could be a story that they can cough it in their own mind, but they get so invested

in a person or a character that they follow absolutely everything that they're doing, and they make up whatever narrative fits, whatever it is that they want to think, and it feels

kind of like dangerous to me, I've never, I don't, I don't feel like I have the personality

to have like a Perry social relationship, you know what I mean? I mean, I had one, especially when I was younger, I used to be obsessed with Fifth Harmony

“if you remember them, and you've never heard of Fifth Harmony, no, what is Fifth Harmony?”

Do I need to Google this? Yes, you don't want Fifth Harmony, but were you a psychopath because I need to know this? I'm not a psychopath, but I had a Twitter fan account, and they would always interact with their fans, and-- Wait, what? Yeah.

So you were one of those, that you were constantly tweeting them? I was, like 10 years ago, 15, whenever that was, when I was younger, so. Okay, but what's really weird to me is the Perry social relationships, like podcast, for example, I love the people who listen to us because it means that they have like a level of investment to tune into our lives every single week, right?

Yes. But then there are some people who follow from the sidelines, and then they'll kind of go off the internet for seven days, and then some shifts gone down, and now they're trying to enter the chat, and it's like don't start sending me messages now because you weren't invested in anything else that we were doing, like you're trying to put the pieces

of the puzzles together, and you're not getting all the pieces unless you're listening and doing all the pieces. You know? Mm-hmm. Definitely.

Like, people just try to, I don't know, pick and choose what they want to actually listen to. Okay, Madison, which one of these girls-- I'm just going to call you out. Which one of these girls did you have a crush on? Camila.

The one that's like-- Can I show you the-- Yeah, you can flip it around. The one that's in the center and the white shirt, pretty sure. Yeah, with the pink shorts on? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I can totally do that.

I mean, what was it? You were just like, yeah, that's my girl. I don't really know.

“I think it's like, I started, I won a radio contest, and I got free tickets to see them,”

so I went with my friend, and then I met some other friends there, and they're like, "Oh, we're all on Twitter." And I was like, "Okay, cool. I'll do it." And I'm only-- I think it goes back to the only child thing.

I'm an only child.

I love community, I'm always looking for community.

So that was a thing, and-- Yeah. But-- That's literally crazy. I've never heard of Fifth Harmony ever in my entire existence until now. That's kind of crazy. Like, it looks like a rip-off of spice rolls.

Oh, everything's a rip-off of each other at the end of the day. So I can think of tons of rip-offs in this current moment, but it would be me, and so I can't do it. Exactly. All right, y'all. Now, we're going to get into voicemails.

“Please, don't forget if you want to submit a question, ask advice or just fill some tea.”

You can call our Southern Tea Hotline at 929-333-6386. Please leave us your message, and we might play it on the show. Hi, Lindsay. Here's my Southern Tea. Me and my husband have been together very long year, but together for 10 years now.

He's always having a variety of panic attacks, but refuses to take medication, and lately

it's been getting pretty bad with the panic attacks happening throughout in public. And normally, I don't want to get to meet with these past few months. It has been, and it's become really cringy, and I guess I don't-- I'm not the best supporter

often, like, you ruin the day, the bifurgy time, it's just go home, the kids are already

like scarred the kids, without telling rude or any-- am I wrong for that? Or is there another way that I could go about it, because this is going on for about four years now since the panic attacks are scarred, and he just refuses to get medication or get help. So I'm kind of just done with it, but I want to know am I wrong for being upset or speaking

to my mind? It's like, I feel like that's so hard, because how do you tell somebody, if you love them,

“you should be having intentional conversations about that, and if it's affecting a marriage”

or a home life, then maybe a therapeutic setting to have those conversations would be best, but it's really hard whether you're in a relationship with someone or not to be like you need to get on medication, like there might be other underlying reasons as to why he doesn't want to get on medication, there could be something that's going on in the marriage, there could be something that's going on, just in the home life, and general

with the kids, with work, whatever it is, and so my advice would be to go to therapy and try to work through some of those things and have the intentional conversations and ask the hard questions. Yeah, I definitely agree, and I think it also comes down to patients, you know, like what unconditional love can you give your partner, like you have to think about yourself

and just think, "Okay, it's my love for my husband, conditional," or is it unconditional? Well, you'd be there for him through everything, because at least sounding by your tone, it's like, "Can you please give me a way out?" Like I'm a bad for feeling this way, like I want a way out, and that's okay, and that's valid.

“But I think you just have to be honest with yourself, you know.”

Also, we're speaking from a place of no experience with that person, like obviously she has four years of experience of this type of thing going on, so I don't want to diminish that, but a lot of times I feel like when people get to a place of being done, they start seeking validation from other places to be like, "Oh, well, this was the advice that I got," so I'm going to take it instead of taking accountability and being like, "Hey,

this is like my choice, like this is what I need to do for myself," but I think, if they have not tried the therapy, I think that would probably be the best option. Definitely. Definitely.

Let's go to the second-boy smell.

I just have a question, so I was with my ex-13 years, we bought a house together and everything, and everything was great. He was amazing. He was there for me when I was so, so sick, but he started drinking very heavily, got very abusive, tried to throw me down the steps.

He also got a gun and threw it into shoot me, and there's just so many so much. He was arrested, I didn't press charges, but he is now in jail for three to four-week and no. Yes, about three to four weeks, and I have a lot of guilt because of how good he was to me and there's so much more to the story, but any advice would help.

He was there for me when I was sick with sick with vomiting, and I have a lot of guilt that he's in jail, because I was afraid to ask for help for him, because I didn't know what he would do if I told anyone, but any advice would be great, and if you have any follow-up questions, that would be great too. Thank you.

Well, that's a loaded one, for sure. Yeah. Also, I thought she was going to say three to four years. He was in jail, but only three to four weeks. Three to four weeks, like the throw and down the stairs is wild.

I think it's very common to get caught up in the good of what we know of people. I'm guilty of it, I'm sure you're guilty of it to some degree. You get caught up in the good of what you know, so you try to hold on to that to justify things that just like don't align anymore, and it seems to me in that situation that it's gone that far.

I don't know if therapy as a couple for those type of people would be something that I would ever advise somebody to do, like, he needs to get help for his own self, but where she puts her back, puts herself back in a position to try to work on anything that they have going

“on, because until you fix you, you can't be who you need to be for anybody else.”

Like if your cup's not full, you can't fill anybody else's up.

And then also she didn't mention, but there might be kids around, you never know how that

plays an impact, and I think it's a hard mental gain being like she mentioned she was sick,

Somebody that's valid that he is there for you, somebody's there for you, but also at the

same time he could be very abusive and you could be stuck in that toxic cycle, which is not okay, and that doesn't invalidate the good things he did for you. And I mean, two things can be true, right, like he could have been there for her and she can be thankful for that and hold special place for that time of their life while still acknowledging that like these are the issues, and now I no longer feel safe in this, and he needs to get help,

like he needs to be the one that does the work. Mm-hmm, definitely. Okay, let's just do one more, this one's really quick, it's 30 seconds. Okay, hey girl, long-time listener here, my name is Nina, you can play about with podcasts. I just want to say this last podcast, you've seen clear headed and at peace and real,

and genuine, and you've ever sounded, and my people discernment is like always out of ten.

I really genuinely do as you're going to enter in a phase of your life for us. I rock with you well, or you're just going to be full and full and God's really going to show through your life and you're going to find your happy and you're going to find peace and feeling, and I would even consider that like a feeling of stuck prophetic, so good luck, love it.

“Not really advice, but I think it's just a nice little note and I'll hope it's very sweet.”

I'm pretty sure Nina sends me sweet messages on Instagram as well. Also, pretty sure if it's the same Nina that I'm thinking of, she also was on a reality show. Also lives in Dallas where I currently am, and I just want to say before I wrap up this episode, like some of the messages that I have received over the last week and a half on top of the positive messages from my conversations with Becky last week. It's like life's a journey,

you know what I mean, and we all go on one, and I'm going to much better place than I was last week, but still not great. And I just think things take time. I need to continue to sit back, I had different plans for today that like I just, I can't do because I'm not ready to do that.

“And I think I'm just going to give myself the time and the grace and the space to”

be able to deal with things on my own without publicly answering to anyone right now and like when that time comes, I will do it in a safe place with others involved so that both sides of story can be told and I just want to thank everybody who listens for sticking around and hanging in there with me and I am now off to another studio to record, am I allowed to say what I'm doing? No, but it's going to be a fun episode. So I'm not allowed to say what I'm doing, but it's

going to be a fun episode. And I'm just so excited for the next probably 12 weeks because there's just so many changes that are coming that I just I want to like, blah, and tell everybody what's going on, like the conversations that Kael and I were having in the bathroom last night are worked in her and it's like all the things that people don't know about that I want them to know,

“but like they can't know because loose lips, sync ships, you know what to mean?”

Mm-hmm. And we'll come with time. So it's going to... They'll be a time or place, baby. Yeah. Well, I am leaving this I'm blowing this joint and I'll be at the next studio soon. Okay, love you. Bye. Bye. Oh, my God, my God. With movies like Interstellar, Dream Girls, and Gladiator. I love the time! And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob Squarepants, the fairly odd

parents and ghosts, Pluto TV is always free. Hi, I'm Stasi Schroeder. On my podcast,

I share candid updates from my personal life chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives. Give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with, like human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will, too. Listen to my podcast, Stasi, wherever you get your podcasts.