#656 - Fahim Anwar

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Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, he's an actor, and he's a dancer. He's a dancer. We've been friends for a long time, and it's great to finally have him in. His new special intrusive thoughts is right now available on YouTube. We've got a link in the description.

Today's guest is my friend, Mr. Fahim and War. I'm sitting over there and I don't even happen. Somebody just said there were some fires going on. Are there? Everyone had that fire app for like three weeks, and then we didn't eat it.

Right?

Like, we just were all about that fire app, but like, I deleted it.

Yeah.

“Or are you still trying to find out like what fires are going on in Oregon or something?”

Oh, but when people had that app, bring up that app. What was that? Fire? I mean, I think it was called something's burning. Was it an advertisement for Berkwester's podcast?

It was a cross-pollination? What was that app? Watch duty. That was the app. You ever remember?

It was like, oh, there it is. Oh, it's on the fire. It's like, oh, it's on Venice Boulevard, you know? Well, it was like, you thought you're going to die, so you just like, am I by the flames? Yeah.

Do I have to outrun it? Yeah. Just as run. It just pops up. Do that.

That was it right there. Remember in the flames?

You could get bigger and something had airplanes going by.

And every now and then, they would have just like a burning emoji. You could just run across the screen. They would have an icon of a guy setting fires. You're like, somebody take care of him. Why is he cops get on it?

Yeah. Do that app was crazy. And it was like, oh, leave your popcorn kernels out on your veranda. It's going to be a hot one. Yeah.

Yeah. It's crazy. They're like, oh, it's going to be. Yeah. Definitely.

Yeah. It's a great idea. It gets in popcorn going. Yeah. I mean, it was bitter sweet.

Like, the developers were probably stoked. Yeah. The universe downloading the app. But it's a shame that like this has to happen for the downloads to go through the roof.

Maybe they're starting. Dude. That's what I was saying. I wonder if they could find, knowing what we know now. Like, I wonder if they could find like a connection between the developers or the ones

starting the fires.

“Because that's what you start to realize in the world.”

It's like, yeah. If there's a crazy app that comes out that helps solve a problem, the other side of the makers of the app sometimes are they're in conjunction with the people making the problem. You've got to create the need.

Yeah. You've got to create the need, dude. So he meant more. Good to see you, dude. Thanks for having me.

Yeah. Oh, man. Same. Thank you. This is great.

Yeah. It's been awesome. And thanks for your patience, too. Of course. Yeah.

I know you got you have a new special that's coming out, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what's the name of it?

It's called, uh, I'm blanking more. I'll help here. And this will help the name of it. Oh, but I should know what it's going on. Yeah.

I'll use it if thought. Bro, there you go. I need some of them right now. Yeah. It's almost like, yeah.

You could use one. That's just doing a promo run. This is a good to get the king's out. What's the name of the special?

Let me just do the biggest podcast.

And they go, what's the name of the special? Yeah. Should I look? I want to hit every camera where I have a brain fart. Intrusive thought.

Yeah.

“I think I was thinking of my last special.”

And I, yeah. And it's, and it's out now. It's out now. Yeah. Oh, nice.

Thank you, man. And you also, what's the show that you do? It's the fixing of the work and the work on stuff. Yeah. So it's in the belly room at the comedy store.

That one's called for heme works on stuff. And it's a weekly series. I do. I work on material. And then eventually, sometimes it makes it into the set.

So like this hour I did a lot of those jokes ended up making it. But if you like stand up and how it's crafted and stuff, that's a fun one to check out. Oh, so like from the stage all the way. And then they, how they ended up in. Well, just me trying jokes out like I have paper and stuff and there's, you know, the way we write material.

You know, you get ideas and you try it out. I just, I film it. And then I put it up and I love to have you do it sometime too. I love to have you on the show. Yeah, man.

If I'm in town out, let's do it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Of course.

I thought it was like, but he works on stuff. It was like you fixed him like a motor or something. Yeah. That's bad branding.

“I guess some people in the comments are like, I thought there'd be a carburetor.”

Yeah. And that's on me. But I'm on the thumbnail. I have a, I'm doing this. There you go right there.

So it's nice. And so you do nobody works on stuff more than you, bro.

You were like, you're the guy that's always done.

Like to me that's always done at like a committee. Like a true comediness does it. If people have an idea of what that is and everybody's ideas can be different. But if you had this idea of like, Well, it's very flattering, man.

Thank you, man. I was expecting something like a carburetor. I was expecting something different. Or I just thought it was like one of the like birds. Christchurch shows where if he like every other, you know,

he always says then I bird fight some mole or whatever you know. Right, it's like, you know, I'm just, I'm working on a different thing every show. Like it's a skateboard, one show. BMX. Yeah.

And then maybe in this hall. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's building in the comments. What do you want me to work on that?

Yeah. And then your, your wife's like, why don't you work on this marriage or whatever. Dude, you man. I don't, I don't know. Okay.

I've got to work on that. I only work on jokes. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you guys whipped that up just now.

Yeah. Wow. I'm a fucking man. We're working under the hood. Always grease and bro.

That's just dope. Dude. You're kind of black arming there. But they've given me bigger forums. I kind of like that.

Yeah. You look, they made me beefier. Oh, dude. That chastis grease right there. That can't.

Like how they kept the apple watch. That's that. Ay, I's not cutting me a break at all. Bro, you got to have something on you to let you know. And lunch is pro.

That's it. Should I do this? I look way happier doing this. I haven't smiled as much ever on stage. But I'm just looking.

Well, it's like my child. Oh, that pride. That's great dude. Um, what was I going to ask you out?

“Oh, do you see that guy hit the jumbo tron or something that?”

No, I missed him. I wasn't. I mean, this is way less important than your special. But let's, let's veer off. Yeah.

Uh, another view of the parachuter who hits the jumbo tron at the Virginia tech game. This is the problem now with DEI dude. It's like they can't even get a good parachute. Do we know the race of the guy who was parachuting up? He survived.

I mean, but that's crazy, bro. Just another gun or getting too close to the screen, huh? Dude, you would think. What if the whole stadium just saw a guy die before a game? Do they continue the game?

That's a great question. Like, you do a half at least, right? Yeah. You do a half. And then out of respect, you don't play the rest of the half.

You play half a game. One of the guy dies. Yeah, that'd be crazy. What would happen? Say that guy who obviously was, what was he doing where he got too occupied?

Yeah. Where he was. He was phone. Yeah. He was just like this.

He was watching footage of him. He's like, well, I'm getting pretty close to that thing. Yeah. Oh, man. It's just sad, bro, that guning dude.

Those guys want to get so close to the screen dude. They want to be there. It's not enough. We used to masturbate like in, like, almost what is considered not kind of archaic. Like, pages.

Yes. A 2D image. Yeah. Like, kids don't know what that's like to, that's like jerking up to a shadow at this point. You know what I mean?

Yeah. The only volume was you had a quietly turn on the page. Remember that? He's like moving around to make it dance and make it seem like she's really there. Yeah.

Now they're like apple vision pro. They're like, load me up. They're loading up different chicks. They're having three. Yeah.

Oh, they're having eight. I'm sort of having you freaking out. They're like, there's the one where an octopus will jerk you off. And if you guess the army's going to do it with, like, you win more coins or whatever. I'm like, what is it?

That'd be cool if there was an orgy with everyone's wearing an apple vision pro. But it's just like 12 people naked in a room.

Like, y'all can be fucking each other.

And they're like, yeah. The environment's better. And it's like, we're on the pyramids. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

What are you talking about? We're on the Mayflower. What would I fucking my living room? Like some fucking, like some senior citizen when I could fuck on the challenger. But you only have 40 seconds to fuck.

The challenger? Yeah. So it's like sort of like a bus contest.

“You have to do it under the clock or you blow up.”

You have to bus before you bust. Yeah. Same with the game. Just fuck. And you go, you die without busting.

You know what game is this? Dude, it's definitely getting, it's free. But then you have to pay for the tokens. That's where they get you. Yeah.

The game is free. But yeah, you get different coins too. I know there's like the, there's that one. I know virtual reality sex thing where they get, they're having sex on, like, some famous, like, sad times that happen.

I think there's one they're doing now.

Palantir's doing the one where you can do it right in the Gaza rubble.

They're offering that. That's a new service. Yeah. They're pivoting. Yeah.

It's sort of like all birds the shoe company went AI. Everyone's like, okay. Yeah. That's like crocks getting into like biotech. Yeah.

No. And that's just the loud. Dude. That's so funny, bro. Imagine Palantir actually.

They would come out with something like that dude. That's soulless group. Yeah. But that's where it's going to get to. It's like, oh, well, oh, sorry.

I would love to work out today. But I'm like, I'm banging a couple chicks on the trail of tears later this afternoon. Like, I'm meeting up with a couple of friends. We're meeting up in an opioid crisis basement from, like, 2022. Yeah.

You know, it's just going to get weirder and weirder. Why does it have to be, like, busting to sad stuff? It's just so funny. Those are the only levels. It can't be a meadow.

It has to be, like, the worst. Wouldn't it be like a meadow, like, a meadow from, like, um, the hills, like, uh, like the sound of music or sound music. Yeah. That'd be nice.

Oh, that'd be beautiful. Like in Stockholm. Sure. Is that where it was? Bring up a Stockholm.

Meadow, please. What is it like there? Oh, that's nice. Oh, God. Look at that.

Like, uh, XP screensaver right there. And where? Yeah. That is.

“Remember that when the nicest thing your house with your screensaver?”

Yeah. But you looked out of your real windows. It was just like a bunch of, like, it was, like, two black dudes fighting, like, like a crow and ball tomorrow, whatever. Whatever.

That was the screensaver. They sent to the hood. Like, you couldn't even have the rolling. It had to be, like, what's outside your window? Yeah.

So it couldn't even be that. It was just, like, the lap of the cars. What is that place? Oh, oh. Go back to the previous one, Nick.

Yeah. Whatever you clicked on right here. Green Meadow. At Aaron Sin. You're hacking.

But yeah, dude. You're right. I'm thinking of, like, negative things. But it is funny. I do like that constraint that it's a pretty awesome video game.

But it has to be in terrible places. Yeah. That's just the deal. Yeah. Maybe the patch will let you do nice places.

But until then, we're beta testing the terrible places. But in the beginning, it's like virtual reality sex thing. Yeah. Okay. But in the beginning, you only get to, like, like, do, like,

you can have award. You can meet up. You're allowed to have, like, six or seven friends. But you can't have, like, 40 friends join you. Right.

Then you have to pay. That's, like, a paid tier. Yes. And you get, like, you unlock better places to be able to, kind of, basically jerk off in hypothetically.

That you would never be able to go to because.

What do you think the ultimate unlock is? Ooh. Well, what are some second tiers? Even, let's, if you don't mind. You unlock movie theater.

“Let's say, if you want to throw back, you know.”

Yeah. Movie theater may be, um, like, a porn theater back in the day. Yeah. Jets game or whatever. Sure.

That's, do you think there's a guy? I mean, that's terrible, right? But kudos to the guy who can do that. Oh, who can bang it out to a Jets game, you know? Yeah.

Like, football's going on. There's peanuts and popcorn. And he can, he can still. Like, if there was, like, a talent scout for adult films, like, that guy, he's going to do it on cue.

Yeah. Yeah. He's really looking at him for the second round. Yeah. We're driving today.

Yeah. We'll do what we can't with, like, a few people watching. This guy does like a whole stadium. Yeah. That's scary, dude.

Imagine I would have dreamed right imagine. Like, it was like a big thing. And yet, a jerk off a mountain or whatever. Like, a village couldn't eat or whatever. And everybody's air cheering and shit.

That's a lot of pressure. Yeah. And then it's like eight more weeks. A winner for your stomachs, bro. Y'all ain't eaten shit, dude.

Because y'all made me too nervous up here. You blame it on them. Can't we have to? They're cheering. Don't cheer.

It's like golf. Yeah. I need silence. I can't do this. When you're yapping in my head.

I have to start over. Yeah. I had it. And then I lost it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's it. Just can you get in the other room?

But yeah.

That's just sad some guy.

Jumpside.

“I guess he jumped out of a rocket or something.”

What was he even doing? Yeah. And then, um, yeah. What would some of the, yeah. What would some of the highest tears be like, okay.

And you can't really tell your parents unless they're like, also, almost they play the game. And they already know. Yeah. Then they see you like, because your gamer tag is on there. Yes.

And your dad sees that. And you go, you play too. Yeah. That's sad, dude. Yeah.

And when the power goes out of your place and both you and your dad. You just hear each other like, dang. God. Because both y'all just got shut down and you're fricking from the guna sphere. Whatever.

Yeah. Let's, I want to learn more about guning.

Do you know a lot about it?

I don't know. These young kids, you know, they have all these terms. And then I learned about it way too late. So guning. Is that just like pining?

Is that the new version of pining? Um, I'm not good. I think it's just like. You're into something.

“Let's bring it up here on perplexity day.”

I feel like this is overkill for AI. This is like shooting a fly with a cannon. AI. What is guning? You have like Tony's start shit.

Just to explain. AI. What's two plus two? Perplexity is a sponsor. We're gonna pull up two plus two.

Perplexity. What colors do sky? My perplexity must think I am a fucking dumbest guy in the world. We ask the most basic shit because we don't know it. This is the most of the other thing though ever.

This is like quintessential to the other. Pull up AI. Pull up Guning. Just the most robust infrastructure for a silliest thing. We feel all of this just to look that up.

Dude, they need to do a remake of Gunis, but it's good. But it's good. But it's good. You sold it in the room. Yeah, yeah.

You sold it on name alone. Bro, you tell me and they all have to get to one magic spot. And they all jerk off in like a cop from like a senior citizen for like 2,000 years ago. I just picture you in a suit at Paramount. Pitching this.

Like you're saying all the same things. And you pitch it in the suit. What did you say? Quick definition. Modern sexual meaning.

In current internet slang Guning is a form of marathon masturbation and porn consumption. Where someone stays aroused for a long time.

So it's basically like trying to keep the party going.

You and also I think it's trying to keep your weiner up. So it's trying. There's like a level of like, you know what they get the fish thing when they try to get the dolphin like stay on its tail for a little while. So Gooning is yeah, you would equivalent of a dolphin staying on the water.

Yeah. Yes.

“You have to make that sound when you're gooning.”

My mind sounds like I'm fucking broke down. Gay dude. All that. Pretty good. You're just like half and half human half dolphin like the blade.

Yeah. Mine sounds like an Asian car that won't start. Dude, just. So that's gooning pretty much. Let's get a little more sorry.

Is it like edging? Didn't it wasn't that a thing before? Well, someone stays aroused for a long time. Often hours edging themselves into a trans like zoned out state rather than just quickly getting off. That's crazy bro.

So I didn't know that. I thought it was just, I mean, I guess. I mean, I knew that it was somebody like that was really locked in on seeing their their penis and wanting to come or just being involved with pornographia, you know, or porn or whatever. I knew it was a lot of that, but I didn't know that this exists.

Well, just the levels they're going to for it. Solo means non-partner porn driven off your multiple tabs, niche content, things on loop. Why are you fucking doing? Are you like Reggie Watts or whatever? Like you have a loop machine?

You're like a DJ. What if this is the birth of hip hop? It's a new genre of porn. We're like people who just play the whole thing. But I started chopping it up. And now people come to my porn DJs.

That's all the time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

The Coachella main stage. And the beat dropped. Dude, you're just fucking like fakes. Like, that's when the fog of the phone. I'm like an Ibiza.

Yeah. That's good any man, dang it. Long before anything to do with porn, Goon meant things like full thug or a henchman. The history roughly looks like older English roots going.

Do you think old fashioned goons are upset? It's like their word has been taken away. They go, no, I don't do that. I'm a Goon. Yeah.

I'm a muscle. I'm a Goon for the mob. Yeah. I'm not. He's Gen Z.

Yeah. Gen Z fuckers are. I'm a OG Goon. I'm a real Goon brother. I'm a real Goon.

Yeah. I'm not just jerking off or whatever somewhere. But he's just sad that like, This is kind of like our military now. It's like, there's enough of them doing.

And now we're just like, they have like meetups. And they have like, you know, they have almost like those danceathons.

Like it's like, What is it?

Fancy like a sock hop or something?

Yeah. It's like, we're raising money for, Oh, testicular cancer, whatever. And how many kids are in the, like, what's it called if people goon together?

Is there a, It's got to be something that actually sounds like good for the community. With the goon and by yourself, goon together. Yeah.

The goon off. Yeah. Down the local gymnasium. Winner of the goon off gets a hundyle mantra. When people say goon together,

it's typically referred to as a group gooning or participating in a goon session, communal gooning. Often organized via online communities, like discord, reddit,

and adult platforms. Wow. Huh. Oh, a group session. Okay.

I don't. This must be a,

“I think this is a younger person's thing too.”

Like a teenage or adult. I mean, like our college, I don't really, I don't think I have the time to devote to that. Yeah.

Seems like a lot of time. I wonder if we're just out of touch. Like do you think parents are like, I don't understand your goonings. Like you don't get me dead.

Yeah. You and my friends are doing it. If we're too old. Richard, He's in their gooning right now.

And it's like that, that weed commercial. Where did you learn to goon? I learned from you. I learned from you.

Yeah. Oh, that shit hit me. I didn't even have a kid. I was a kid. I was a kid.

And I just felt all the pain of it. Like God. Oh, man. That's wild, dude. Anyway.

Bro, good to see you, dude. Same man. I think if we're having me, and I don't know if I told you officially, but thank you for having me on tour with you with those dates.

Oh, yeah. Like that was so fun to do.

I'd never done something like that.

So like, I've been doing stand-up a long time, but I haven't played venues like that before. Where do we play in Seattle now? No, no, no.

We did the Midwest run. So we did Iowa. We did Minnesota. We did North Dakota, South Dakota. Oh, yeah.

But I've just never played venues that large before. So, I mean, the largest I've done before I came out with you is 7,000 at the Dolby, 7,000 people. And then we did. Some of these were like 18,000.

I just want to do that for me. Just like, what is that like? It's like big wave surfing, you know? Yeah. For real.

It's scary, man. And that up with you guys in Iowa.

“I think at first, like tour buzzers, the venue and all that.”

And then you look at the seats in the daytime. I mean, it's like that scene in interstellar, where they see that giant wave. You know what I mean? Like your heart kind of sinks a bit.

You're like, oh, man. These are going to be filled with people. But then you do one. And you're like, ah, I know what this is.

Yeah, it takes some, it's like,

I mean, definitely navigating some of that is different. Uh, uh, and thanks for coming, dude. I appreciate it, man. Thank you so much, dude. A lot of times, it's like tough to get a lot of headlines to come out on the road.

Because a lot of them were working different weekends or something like that. And I know that was an awful weekend for you. So thanks for coming out. Oh, yeah, dude. We at the place where that place in North Dakota was,

I think the biggest building I've ever been in Fargo, though. Yes. That wasn't saying. The buses were like inside and they were. And then there was a whole another inside where they had like a basketball court.

Yeah, we were playing basketball before the show behind a curtain. It was like two stadiums almost. The place was divided in half. And it was even with a divided in half. It was huge.

It was unbelievable. And there was like, yeah, they're like, they have they sell animals in here. They do everything here. They churn it. They earn it.

Whatever. Like they had a whole shirt like churn in here. Or whatever. It was like there. It was like kind of a honest thing.

And then like, like defeating like sexual sand or whatever. Right.

“But do you remember, I don't know if you told the story, my favorite.”

There's like two moments from the tour that I like were my favorite. The guys hat blown off. Have you told that on here? No. I haven't told that.

You remember, right? Yeah. It was like wizard work. Well, we were in clear lake, right? Yes.

So it's cool about you. Like you want to do stuff in the town. Back in the day, I would tour with Bobby. And he just he's like a vampire. He just closes.

And he's in the darkness until it's time for the show. But you actually want to hang out. And so we got lunch. We're in the tour bus, right? He's like a Chinese vampire.

He just asked. He just asked Boxer play. He's stationed till the show. He's fucking good. He's probably good.

He started. He's he's dead from good. He's good. He's patient zero for good. Yeah.

Okay. So we we get lunch in before the show's. And we parked on the outskirts. Yeah. Yeah.

And then so right before this even happened. We're going to walk to the sandwich shop. Because you're like, oh, it's ready. Pretty high on yelp. So we're in the middle of nowhere.

Pretty much. It's a beautiful town, right? That unbelievable. So nice. Like the wild bird movie or something small town, USA.

We're just walking down the thoroughfare. And it's blowing. Like, you're not supposed to be there. It's so weird to these people. They're like, then there's this guy.

This heavy set guy. You know, he's like, what the fuck? The oven. Oh, man. Can I get a picture?

And then he came up. But we were kind of running late. And he's like, you're like, shirt thing, man. Just we're running a little late. If you can like, you know, keep up the class.

And we'll get. We'll get that selfie. He's like, you got it. And then it was really. It was like really windy.

So he like, he gets up to you. And the wind just blows his head off.

He's like, oh, oh, so then.

And it was, it was like bad wind. It went like a block away. It was bad wind.

“Like it was like, that's one of the reasons why we were trying to get like, it was like,”

Dude, we're going to be late where we're going. We would have been on time. But the wind was like, it was uphill when you were just flat. It was the worst winds that I'd ever been in. And it was beautiful day in same winds.

Right. Cloud seating is real. Go on. So the hat blows up. The guy gets it.

He puts it on. He catches up to you. And it blew far. It blew far. It blew probably.

He's probably in zone two trying to catch it. Like it's hard. His heart rate was up. Yeah. It blew.

Yeah. It blew. It blew. It blew. It blew.

It blew. It blew. It blew far. Yeah. We're like, holy shit.

He tracked it down. Put it on. Man, what are you doing here? I'm a huge blow. He runs, he repeats.

He goes, he gets it. We're still walking.

“And must feel like starting to get hurt a little bit at this point because it's like,”

Dude, look, that hat's going to be here all the time. That's what we were thinking about. Like, like, yo. How often are you in clear like this guy's going? He's a bigger fan of this hat.

That's what it was. That's what it was. He is a view. Right. And he kept kind of, he's like, just wait.

Just wait. And we're kind of waiting. But getting hit by the wind. And like, okay, go on. The third time.

So it happens three times.

You can't actually finally catch us up with us.

But it was just so funny. Like, that whole day, we were just laughing about the wind blowing that guy's hat. And then, like, how absurd. It was like, one of those moments you're like, this cannot be real. Right.

Like, it was just, oh, hold on. You know, it was a cartoon. Yeah. Literally like a loony tune. And we had to sit there.

One point we sat on a bench for like a little bit. And waiting for him to go get his hat again. We're like, 'cause that hat, like he just, I don't know. I think he also wore the lightest hats. It's like, dude.

He looks like paper mache. He's made out of clean eggs. And it would just blow off. He's made out of clean. He just sharpened New York on it.

It's like a repurposed kite that Tom's is made. And after making hats, you know. Just designed to blow off your head. And then, we walked over to the surf ballroom. Remember that?

Oh, yeah. Where are the Richie Valenz? We're Richie Valenz and the Big Bopper. Where they played their last show dude before that plane crash. And it was still as intact as ever.

It was like going back in the past.

They were so happy we were there. They gave us a tour of everything. You got to see the phone where they called. Like where he called his mom. And he's like, don't worry mom, I'll be home.

Yeah, so much history there. Yeah. And then we got shirts. We got matching shirts. We did.

Thank you for that shirt. I've worn mine too. It's a good shirt. We should wear on the same show sometime. Yeah.

We've been there. We'll go there. You know what we'll do, dude? We will go there. And we gotta go there and do some shows.

Like it was so nice. I filed it away. I should vacation here one time. That's what I exactly what I thought. It would be a cool vacation spot.

“And I wish we honestly kind of wish you weren't even talking about.”

Because I don't want other people to know how great it is. But every yard there, everything. It was just kind of perfect for us. Yeah. And then I forgot what city this was in.

But after the shows, you do meet and greet sometimes. You know, you're really good about that. And so you're meeting your fans. And then talk to them and all that. And then there's this girl in a wheelchair.

Very sweet. You're talking to her. And then and then you have this rapport with her. And then you're very, you go. You know, if you don't mind me asking like me,

I ask what happened. And then yeah, how'd you get all wheeled out? That's not a big question. Because we don't know. Right, we got to know.

And then she's like, oh, yeah, yeah. I, you know, I was a car accident. My car spun around. And I got flung out of the car. And then, and then you go.

Now, what kind of car was it? You know, I was just like, like, no other person on earth. It would drill down on foot type of car. It was. And then she's like, oh, I think I think I was like,

a old mobile dealer, something. And then like, now is that a nice vehicle. I don't really know shit. I'd like to try to add context just so I know it's hard. I know it's like so you, though.

You're talking to my imagination and work if I don't know. Yeah. And you wanted to paint the story, you know? Yeah. And different cars.

I could see your body leaving out of it a different way. That's a good point. If it's like a heavy older model car, you can probably sell about the window, side window. And it's one of these new cars.

He's a little bouncing baby bug. He's whatever. He's fucking fly right out of the front of that pit. Yeah, just on the left turn, even. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Just a windy day. Just a windy day. Because they're like every call.

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That's sandwich shopping went to. That was great too. I want to go to studio about touring with you because we've been friends. I see what the club's all the time.

But then hanging out with you outside of the club is the different thing. Because everyone is kind of famous at the club because those are comedy nerds and everyone knows someone. But then you're like famous famous.

And I just had an experience that firsthand because I always see you at the store or see you at the improv. You know? So we were, it would happen everywhere.

“Like a sandwich shop and then I remember DQ,”

especially worth a dairy cream place. I wanted to get like a blizzard. Like I'll come if we saw Mount Rushmore or whatever. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mount Rushmore.

It's time here that you think it'd be. We did like a whole family worth of vacationing in one week. Like we were basically in an RV. It's like we were doing a family vacation and it happened to do these shows. Did you guys win the helicopter?

I didn't. Because I'm afraid of that. Oh yeah. You didn't. I didn't because I didn't pay.

I got to deal out of those people's halls. Like they're definitely. But this will win. We won. I'm trying to think who else.

Yeah, Lee Kimbrell. And yeah, there we are, dude.

I always, I mean, it was cool.

It was definitely cool and impressive. But I thought it would be bigger. There's a lot of, like, kind of. There's like, you park, you walk. They do a good job of making this.

You can't see it till you get there. Mmm. Yeah, yeah. There is kind of the big reveal. They have all the flags along the side of different countries.

We're trying to even know why they have that. And then the craziest part about Mount Rushmore is. There's another side to it where they were. They're making the face of a native American, right? Oh, that's right.

I think originally it was public. And then it got, um, kind of privatized. And there was a man who was trying to do it with his sons. Just with the hammer, by himself. And an exacto knife.

And a sonic hair. He's just out there. A sonic hair.

“Um, do you think that's how they sold it to them?”

Like, all right, we're going to do the present. And then we'll get to the, like, ah, we ran out of dynamite. Yeah. They just bait and switch them. You're like, you mean the stuff you used to blow up all of our villages and lives in history?

You didn't have just a little left over. It blew it all ironically. Um, do this is so great. While they're, while they're checking it out. Thank you guys for checking.

Um, it's fun to see this pitch. I just saw that you just forget. Like, I, like, you just go through so many places sometimes. And it's almost like, it bumps you out in a way because you, I think it, it bumps anybody out when you're traveling or anything you're doing.

It's like, you can only hold onto it so much, right? And then life gets going in life so busy now. Everybody the way we interact and the way there's like always entertainment, always something to keep us like there's always like a seal with a ball on its nose. Hypothetically, you know.

And it's, we forget sometimes. It's just like the moment that we've had. I'm trying to be better about taking pictures. We have a phone in our pocket all times and I forget to, you know, I'll be at the store.

There'll be some great moments or I'll be on tour with you.

It's nice to go through your phone.

“Go through your Instagram and be like, oh, that was a fun time.”

Yeah. Go through the past. Yeah, I think this is it right. Yeah, the crazy horse memorial is a mountain monument under construction on privately held land in the black hills and custer counties out the Coda.

So that's a different mountain or whatever, right? It's not the same. Yeah, they are. Henry Stanley Mayor, a Lakota chief and well known statesman and elder in the Native American community. Recruited and commissioned Polish Americans called the Corkzach, the Alkowski,

to build the crazy horse memorial. In 1939, November 7th, Henry Stanley Mayor wrote to the Polish American sculptor who worked on Mount Rushmore under Gootzon Borglom. He informed the sculptor my fellow chiefs and I would like the white man to know that the red man has great heroes too.

Wow. So that's putting like that tweet out there. That's like tweeting back down. Setting the letter just talking shit. Just being the drama on green of like the Lakota nation.

In June 3rd, 1948, Zial Alkowski detonated the first blast on the mountain and the memorial

was dedicated to the Native American people. Work continued slowly over the next few decades since Zial Alkowski refused to accept government grants. Ah. So he probably didn't want to accept them on the zoom because it was like, this is the government

trying to put money into pay.

“Like just to make it look a little bit better for what they did.”

Instead, as we stated on the 1960s when guest appearance on a TV show to tell the truth, he raised money for the project by charging 75 cents admission to the monument work area. The war started. But it's 75th anniversary in 2023. Crazy versus left hand was finished by 2024.

I don't know what it will be done. I don't know. Well, note here that the land is run by the US Forest Service and they were just defunded. So it's probably going to. I think that affects how long it takes.

Shit. Well, got the hand though. It's going to nice. Yeah, I mean, it's like, at this point, I would pivot. Yeah, don't do what.

And I hate to say that. But you have the hand. Yeah. Right.

Do they have updated what it looks like here we go.

It looks like Bill Mara little. That maybe that's the pivot. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Just real time shoots there.

Okay. Oh, that's wild. Dude. What if there's a huge mistake? They go, oh, we thought you want to Bill Mara.

Yeah. They got no. This is Native American. Oh. Well, I opened up this attached.

I thought it was Bill Mara. Yeah. I just had my tabs and messed up. Yeah. I must have had a different window for my browsers.

Well, what do we do now? Well, I mean, we've blasted a lot of the mountain. Who's handed? I think I think it's Bill Mara. It might be the other.

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you go like Bill Mara with a Native American hand. That's a good compromise.

Because you got to do something or you just opened up a ring shop and chisel out the inside of the hand. I don't know what you do. That'd be kind of cool. Like all they do is rings.

Yeah. And it's inside of a hand. Yeah. I thought about that before, dude. Like somebody had a great name for a ring shop, dude.

“Every day I think about what it was and I can't remember what it was.”

I'll come back to you. Yeah. Thank you, dude. Of course. But yeah, the crazy horse memorial started in 1948. Still not finished. Oh, there's a good video about it right there, huh?

He's ripped. Look at the horse and him are ripped. That's pretty wild. It's kind of centaurish a little though, the art. Yeah.

Dude, sometimes when you look at stuff that's like going on in the world today, like it's kind of create, like you kind of look at things like you're like, oh, where there's like people being abused, taking advantage of here, right? Like there's a genocide here. This, this like senseless like propaganda ridden bombing and attacking over here, right?

But then you look at also like that people like with that, that, that, that that happened in Native Americans who it's just like it's kind of like, um, a tail is oldest time when you're so sad. I know you think like, no. Who opens for spade right now Matt, Matt Kirchon?

No, I love that guy though. Oh, Patrick King. And he has his joke. He's like, he goes, well, at one time there was like, um, Joseph Mary Cain and Abel, you know, and then Cain killed Abel.

Did Cain kill Abel? Proplexity. Yeah. Load up. [laughter]

Proplexity. Who killed? It's like, it's like the religious clue of the board game.

That would always pass it.

Um, but he goes at one point in history, 25% of the population were murderers, which is just, it's for me, that was always like one of the best jokes, dude. He's like, there were four people. And they couldn't figure it out. And one of them killed one of the other ones.

It's a hypercell. Just heartbreaking. Yeah. But it's just crazy. It's like, sometimes you want to get ad.

Like, that's one part where I like, I'll get agitated about things. But then I'm like, but, you know, I don't know. Life, a lot of life is suffering.

Yeah, yeah.

“I'm trying to make the best of what's in front of you and do what you can do.”

And, but it's almost, I mean, I realize it's later in life that,

a lot of life is like sim city. It'll never be perfect. But you can get it as close to optimal as you can. Yeah. But nothing will be perfect.

You do something. Then drug abuse goes up. You know, then you do this other thing. Then the weight for the bathroom and the roller coaster line goes up. Yeah.

You know, just life is sim city. And there's not a perfect system. But like, we're all striving to get there. And that's kind of hard to come to terms with. When you're young, you just think,

everything should be candied pop rate or, you know, Yeah, you know, gumdrops and lollipops. But it's so hard to maximize utility for everyone. Because some, something's got to give eventually. But we can do our best, you know.

And it's nice that we have that drive to do. So it's humans. Yeah. Maybe we'll enter a new phase too, where we realize like, Oh, all this capitalism, all that bull.

It's like, it's not nobody's winning with it. You know, all this like conquering you would think that. Like I kind of thought we're over like some of the colonialism shit. Well, even just like, untethered capitalism.

We're seeing the cracks in it right now.

Yeah. We're like late stage capitalism right now, which is interesting. Like it's just kind of funny. Oh, Mr. Beast has a chocolate. The rock has a tequila, you know.

Yeah. I honestly has a toothpaste. You have to feed now. All our products are just faces. Yeah.

Like somebody that they offered to come was like going door to door. Like we'll come and spray your bug. You don't have any bug. You're like, I don't know. He's like, oh, he's like reverse psychology and stuff.

And they're like, oh, be quiet. Be quiet. And they're like, oh, do you hear that? That's, and they'll make up like a bug or something. You know?

Yeah. Like that's like a f***ed wasp or whatever. You know, or some bug. It's like an apple you've got outside. But yeah.

Like, uh, you know, they make something up. Like, oh, that's a f***ing wasp from a tequila or something. You know, like, or those worse than regular wasp? Yeah. Yes.

They are south of the border. They're smarter. Yeah. Yeah. They're lost from home.

They're angry. Yeah. If they made it all the way up here, they're angry. Yeah. They want to go.

They're lost. And because like, we have to come and just spray tequila in your yard. And you're like, what? And it's going to be top shelf. They know.

They know the difference. Yeah. Oh, they know if they're getting the bunk. Uh-huh. But yeah, they're just like, anyway.

So that, and then that dude had merch. He's like, you want to get some of my merch. He's like, the exterminator had merch. Yeah. And that's when I was like, oh my god, we fit this crazy place where it's like, you know,

you could have like, and like somebody's bleeding a death. An EMT shows up and neither one of them will have like, like, and the EMT won't help until you buy his merch. Or as you set him up doing CPR, he sets up a little merch thing by it. Right.

“Or like a wristband, like Coachella, like, what tier coverage do you want?”

Yeah. All right. Then the paddles are in this tent. Yeah, like how do you want to, yeah. Yeah.

You want the full paddles. You just want to breathe in your, and you just want the hand. You want the hopeful hand. Right. Breathe, breathe this extra.

Yeah. We don't, you know, you don't want one paddle or two. We give you like half a zap. Yeah. But if you want the full zap, that'll cost you.

And what's the voltage? It's a tiered program. Yeah. This is tiered program. We'll give you a trials app.

Just a taste. Just a heart of taste. Yeah. Like, ooh, it liked that. I would upgrade.

It seems like your heart wants that. Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. You know? And that's what his merch said on it. I'm like, that's great.

It's just like, man, it's just gotten to be a crazy world dude. Dude, you're so funny, man. You're one of the funniest guys. Well, the fact ever existed dude. I don't know about that.

But you're the guy that everybody goes to see. That's kind of weird.

“I wonder if that feels, does that feel like pressure?”

Because that's a real thing. People will be like, maybe the comedy store or whatever. I'm kind of like, you'll give it like, hopefully hems on. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. You go watch. The rest of us are kind of like slithering. Go how full fuck. And like humor griffers, I think.

No.

But you're like, you always bring something new to the table every time.

I guess I just, I like new bits. Maybe that's a detriment. I remember when I was a young comic. I just, I love new material. More than crushing.

So there were certain shows where maybe I should have been trying to impress agents or managers or execs, but I had a new joke that I won. I was just, I'm always itching to like, throw out a new idea. And when you're young, you don't really know how to navigate that as well.

So I've just always been wired that way. I just love new material. So it's kind of nice that now it's caught up with me. And it's an asset now where I know how to write a little faster. But yeah, I've just always been that way.

I just like new ideas. Do you think like a lot of your ideas, because you all like, I'll say something new. Like, man, I'm not feeling well. And you're like, too. What even gets them?

Like, what if you want to call? Like, I have some superpower. Like, I go into some fugue state. When you mention something and I go, in the papers, start turning it.

What if? I'm complexity. I should mention the guys. I've been perplexity the whole time.

Like, dude, what if you weren't feeling well? But like, it was like a bunch of bad guys chasing you.

“But you have to not feel well and still get away from them, you know?”

That's kind of a horrible example. No, but you capture the energy. And I guess I'm kind of reserved generally if I don't know you. But like, when something tickles me, or I feel like I have a good idea, or like, we have a rapport.

I've known you forever. And we're just having fun. And there's, I just love a good idea. So I get excited. And then I'm like, doing it.

And I don't even know that I'm doing it. You know what I mean? Like, yo, that's what it seems like. It seems like this thing. It's almost like when you pour a beer.

And it's somebody, like, pours it too fast. And it's just going to come out of the glass. No matter what, right? That tell us he's like, with you whenever it's like, some like, it's like, it's almost like watching like an animal

get excited kind of. It's like this. What, what about this? Yeah. And then it's like you try to slot it in.

And you always slot it in like the best places.

And then you're, and you're not afraid to do act out to on stage either like you are not like, I mean, I know for a while you're doing, um, Lance can't stop. Oh yeah.

Can't stop. Yeah. It's Lance, yeah. Like the dancing show was fucking crazy bro. The rat tail all that shit was braided.

I had this weave. I did it. The mothership maybe. Yeah. Two years ago.

But I don't do it as much anymore. What's funny is I booked this. I did a video game. Adam Ray's doing it now though. Not Lance.

He's doing a different thing. Oh, I'm joking.

“I thought it would be great if now he's doing”

like his cat stop. He's doing Dr. Phil as Lance. But what's your name? Are you, are you two dating? Check out these dance moves?

Dude, that's so great. But yeah, bro, just your ear ability to like, not be like, like, physically fearful, right? Really? Yeah.

Like I don't mind like kind of like, you move. Have you moved around? You know, like taking like ownership of the space. But to act out like something physically that like scares me bro.

I guess when I was a kid,

I like dancing was my first thing.

So when I would do talent shows and even dancing like who was-- I just loved dance. Who was funding it? You mean, has below whatever.

Like what even? They're dance wing? No, it's just, I mean, I grew up at Michael Jackson. I'm the generation that just like, he was king. And he was at his peak like that dancing

and the singing and not the music videos. So I would try to mimic it. And that was my first kind of like entry into per-- This is so old. This is what I was working about bowing at long be--

Look at those pants. It's so old. Those are in again. You look like a very minutes. Bro, you fucking bind it up.

Pull me. I mean, this dancing is not that great. I wouldn't have this as-- We're keeping the wasps. They want to stay in the party.

Pull me here. I just pop in. I downloaded Sony Vegas. And I'm just like putting all these filters on it because it's free.

“I think it's like industrial light and magic.”

Like when is that George Lucas?

When was this? All the filters just like some hunter like looking to a scope. Really? That's the crazy part. Now he has guacamole of the hunter.

Yeah. Now he's an idiot. This song is a bop, though. If you watch it on real YouTube, that song's a bop. When was it?

How many years ago? I don't know. So many years ago. 18. Bro, that's crazy dude.

Yeah. Wow. And then I would go to a cubicle and do engineering. Thank god they didn't see my YouTube channel. How embarrassing would that be?

So you were actually in organized dance? Not-- No. I was in the party. I would just do it by myself.

I would be outgoon. I would dancegoon. All you do alone. I would just like close the door, turn on Michael Jackson or any dance music. And I would just dance in my room.

I would dance in front of a mirror. And there was a currency to that when I was a kid. Like to be the best dancer at school. You'd have school dances. And then everyone knew who the good dances were.

And then you'd kind of like battle. And there was social currency to dancing. I'm sure there still is. That's a good point. But there was a lot of cloud to that.

It was like, oh yeah. Yeah. It's like being the fastest kid at school. Yeah. Remember how that was such a thing?

Like the hottest girl would be with the fastest kid in school. Oh, shit. Yeah. We're going to go shit. Damien fast.

Right. And then he loses one race. And she's like, yeah. It's not working out. Yeah.

And then he gets diabetes or whatever he gets on his mind. That's going to affect his 50 times. Right. Yeah. The sugar got him coming up.

Show it. So I was just in the dance. So I guess that's my foundation. So I'm comfortable moving my body. Yeah.

And then when I got into stand-up when I was like 18 in the moment stage. If I have the idea, I just do it. I don't even think about it. I don't have a fear of moving. Wow.

That's crazy. And also it's an extension of the idea. If I have a bit and I'm in it, I don't even know that I'm doing it. Honestly. Right.

It's second nature. Dude, that's pretty great because it kind of gives you two instruments. It gives you the verbal instrument. And then it gives you this whole other instrument. I do notice if I do yoga a good bit.

And the more that I do it, the more my body shows up in certain bits. And it's like, sometimes you're bringing to be like, oh, you can do this. You've been flexible with me, you've been keeping it active. Like you're keeping your blood up your vibes up. Do this.

You know what I'm saying? And you're like, oh, that fits. And it is interesting when your ideas can use your whole instrument.

And then you realize how much of comedy is non-verbal even.

It's really cool to have a great joke. And people are laughing. And then you can get another laugh on a movement. You haven't even opened your mouth. It's just a look or a walk.

That's kind of exciting. Then it feels like, oh, I have new colors to paint with comedy. You know? Yeah, do that stuff. I mean, that's, I don't know it as well.

I know you're talking about. And there's moments like there's some moments in my comedy world. I'll feel that way. I've seen it. I've been trying to think it's older bit used to do the meeting Brad Pitt.

Oh, yeah. You would do it that. I mean, you still do it. There are still act out the thing. But I'll be like, I don't get into, I don't know.

You get into this space where it's like, yeah, you're just this kind of thing. Kind of happening. I would love that as an intro like this next guy. He's a, he's kind of a thing that's happening. Not like in the trades or like, right now, energetically.

I was in gentleman. He meant more. Yeah, that's kind of, I just come out. Oh, it definitely dude.

“For one of your festivals, you have to do somebody comes out.”

Rub's a lamp three times. And then I come out. It's called, the specials called career suicide. Oh, you're just like the janitor that comes in. It cleans up around the lamp.

But then you start to create this energy in this dream. That would be more like you. Bro, we have two movie ideas. We got the goonies idea. And then we got this.

Yeah. Dude, there it is. Gooners dude. That's so great. That's awesome.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Do you feel like, uh, because you've had, I mean, like, yeah, I think if people picked out like some of their favorite comedians, especially at the comedy store, because that's really kind of your home base.

Yeah, because I'm an LA comic and that's sort of like the place to be. There's three show rooms. I like working out there, too. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it really is. There's no better. If you can go to one spot in a night. Yeah. And especially once you're a lot of park in the back.

Oh, it's the best. Oh, that changes every parking. It's like I got in the stand of just for the parking on sunset strip.

Um, how, you always hear like people say comedy in LA is changed.

LA is like the the scene is dead. The scene is different, right? Maybe not dead. I think it is here different. Yeah.

How, how have you seen it change? Like probably since COVID into now. And like, what do you think of like just where things are? Uh, I mean, we were in the heyday of the comedy store. We didn't even know it before COVID happened.

You know, like, Rogan was there. Yeah, that was just juggernaut after juggernaut. These liners were insane. Tom's a girl. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even on the two summings, Eliza Sussinger. Um, I mean, and that was it. That was just like kind of people that were just there.

You and the you have. But I was I was Smith. I was like middle of the pet like these guys are fucking like Titans. I was just kind of it was kind of cool just to share that space. I'm still an unknown, but comedically and artistically, it's cool to be in the mix.

Like Louis drops in or or burr and then I go up after him. That's the thrill of the store that like at the end of the day. It still is. It's like being good at something like a really good saxophone player. It's like jazz.

You'll see somebody who's just like huge. And then you get to take the stage and.

“You're there for a reason and you have to like survive.”

We get to learn how to survive when you're younger. But then you get to hold your own. And that's cool because like on his members get to be hip to you. They were like, I came for burr, but then I discovered these other comments. And that happens now with the store too.

There's like young guys who are super funny. Yeah. And then they come because like they come to see you and then they get to see everybody else on the line up. So we're in the hay day back then. COVID happened.

People go to Austin. Some people go to New York. Some people just go to Vegas or or Nashville even you know. So it's not as big as it used to be. It's paired down a bit.

But it's still an amazing club and the shows are still really good. It's just that was insanity and we didn't even know it at the time. Right.

Do you think what things do you feel like you always hear like people denouncing it kind of.

Not denouncing. It's not turned. But you hear like it's over. Right. Is that okay to say that we hear that?

We do hear it. Okay. But it's also every time something's over whatever that is. There's always something new that's starting to. So like what do you see that's like kind of the new things.

Because I'm sure for like a lot of guys that couldn't get stage time. Yeah. Like it was probably a hectic time for them. Guys and girls that couldn't get stage time. You know, it's like, yeah, you have all these guys who will sell tickets.

And they get all the like the top eight spots or whatever. And it's I'm sure that was kind of like a claw in the system. Yeah. I'm not sure.

“But I think there's a life cycle for everything that's it's nature.”

I mean, these guys even saw it with you and some of like my other peers like. We're kind of middle and comics or whatever. And then you see everybody get really big. And then they're on the road. And that's awesome because they're getting popular.

They're making money on the road. They're becoming more famous. And then that just naturally clears up stage time for this top tier at the comedy store.

Like someone sells on the road like cigarettes, whatever. So now now these guys get to get those reps in. Yeah. And then they get really good. And then they blast off.

So there's this natural order of things. So when everybody went to like Austin and all that, it just kind of cleared space for the next tier. And now they're getting really good and stuff. And then hopefully they will flourish.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Just like, yeah.

I think there's always something new that's starting.

“So I guess that's how it's kind of winning since I say.”

Because I moved away. I was wondering like yeah. What kind of like do you feel like there's like a new thing that's happened there over the past few years? Just new shots for like younger guys. And also LA will always be LA.

New York will always be New York. So it'll Evan flow from like how popping it is. But like, you know, dual leap is in the crowd. Right. Sabrina Carpenters and look, you know, like these things happen.

It's still LA. Yeah. Same thing with New York. So you like can't take that away from it. And yeah, everything's cyclical.

But then I also the recent development I think is just as cool as that is. Digital is the most important place to be before you had to be in New York and LA. Now you just got to be on phones. So it's it's kind of cool how it's open. It's democratized comedy.

Hmm. Now you can be a funny kid and clear Lake Iowa or anywhere and just talking to camera. Just as much of a shot as like me at the comedy store or some other person at the The, at the mothership or so it's really even the playing field, which is kind of cool.

The most important place is digital.

Hmm. But if you're talking about just stand up the craft, I think LA New York. Awesome. They're still great. Yeah.

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“Who's one of your favorite people that you've seen just being at the Congressroom?”

Sometimes we'll get to see celebrities or something will come in there. Yeah. I saw...

You got to talk to him, didn't you?

He's in... I shot that special hat trick at the Congress door. And then the person who's shooting me had the cameras rolling. So I have it on film. Me and Tarantino talking.

And then I was going to clear it with him. But I don't want him to say no. So I'll just put it out there. What do you think bad stuff like? Yeah, I'm eating babies, right?

I'm eating babies. I'm eating their life force. No, this is great. No, just super nice. Super complimentary.

It might have been the night you were there too. I think I was tried to go up and I kept getting pushed to a different route. So I think you brought me up in the OR and had a good set. And it was just so surreal. Tarantino comes out.

And he's like, "I want to talk to the cool guy." And he points to me. What? And then we're just talking. And then all these other comedians come and he's holding court.

He's talking about... Pam Greer and Jackie Brown. Because he's just a fan. He's a fan of comedy. He's a fan of cinema.

He just has this child like... Exuberance. Yeah. So we're just talking. And he's in the thing.

And we ended up keeping it in. But it was so surreal. That was probably one of the bigger ones. Tarantino.

“Yeah, I remember even the wake of that night.”

He's here. Owen Jim Carrier was here. That was a crazy night. Was that when they were trying to cast for... I'm dying up here.

And that's how Santino got cast. And Eric Griffin. He saw them that day. Yeah. It's kind of crazy.

Somebody could just see you. Yeah. And then something like that happens in the end up on him. Yeah. There you go, dude.

Yeah. Those were great. If I ever have Chris Rocks ever come in, I remember when Louie came in years ago. And he was like in the hallway. And he was like, it was like, after like the him...

The him cat and me awards or whatever. And he had on a... Oh, suit. And I was like dang Louie. That's so crazy.

And it was like... I saw Travolta one time in the park and lot. Really dude. He was just hanging with Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee.

I've seen him a few times. Yeah. So it's cool. But I've been accustomed to it. So I'm jaded with Tommy Lee.

But every now and then Tommy Lee will like a real of mine. And it's just so surreal. That's dope. Well, we're all this is this. He and I were just texting that day.

He's doing real well. And it's like, so we were talking about our recovery programs. He's fucking off. What a life. Or what a just interesting existence.

But the highs and lows of it all too.

You know.

“I saw Dre, I saw Dre one time in the park and lot.”

He saw a doctor in Dre. Who's the biggest you saw? Or he saw Andre with Dala. Yeah. That's what I tell people.

I saw Dre. They go, holy shit. They would doll. I'm the only person who calls him Dre. Other than his mom.

Maybe. I call him Dr. Dre. Just. Yeah. Who's the biggest person you saw the story?

I mean, John Mayer when I would see him.

Oh, that was always interesting.

Because I've always had such an esteem for his like word. Like the way he does words. Like, you know, I saw him walking down one time. Because he would go to roast battle a lot. Yeah.

And he'd be like him and Jeff Ross are close to stuff. And so I know it's see him over there. Oh, I hate shit in front of John's stay most one time. Oh, I would hurt. Yeah.

But at night, this is when I first got passed. So I'm getting super late spots at the comedy store. Probably going up at 1.30 a.m. I think Jeff Ross is hanging. So he comes with Jeff Ross sometimes.

Jeff Ross and then Stamos. And maybe they tied one on. I think they'd been like. Maybe they came to him. Yeah, yeah.

So he's eating chicken fingers. It's his back. So I'm not even getting full stamos. I'm getting back stamos. And then I would get this every now and then.

And then back to the finger fall. And like. Hey, guys. No, no, no, no. Bro, that's crazy.

They have at least he checked back in.

That is nice. Some of the little sit-up blind got to say. Monaco sit-up blind got by the side of the stage. Just facing away from the stage. Shit, like some of they do that.

And like point him towards you. Let me believe. Yeah, dude. Let me believe. He's checking me out.

Fuck, he just sent a real like a broken compass over here, dude. Um, I'm trying to think of who else that I saw there. Oh, dude.

“I remember they said the guy, remember that show.”

Oh, family matters. Yeah. Remember the cop? Oh, wins low. Yeah.

Carl wins low. Carl wins low. That's not his real name, right? That's his character name. Carl wins.

Oh, they said that his. Grants on like his. Ray at original Bill Johnson. They said his grandson was in the audience one time. And people were like losing their show like.

And I was so nervous. I hadn't. I had like to not so funny. Right. I had gone out from this over.

The family matters cop being in the crowd. His grandson. Oh, his grandson.

And so, but it was like the first time I was in.

Only a dude fucking RV J's grandson is in the crowd. No, the first I was like, who the. Yeah, I couldn't figure out RV J, you know. I thought it was just somebody who was dumb. It was like trying to talk about a politician or whatever.

And then they're like, no, right. I don't know about Johnson. Dude, the the cop from family matters. His grandson is here. And I was like, fuck.

I'm going to fucking. And I was, we're pacing back stage. We, and so just like I just couldn't handle that. There was like somebody who like knew somebody from TV. That was in the fucking crowd.

And I fucking. You go on. No. Oh, I bombed dude. My favorite moment that ever happened though.

One of anyway. Spain telling me that he thought something was really. Funny one time was awesome. Oh, wow. And senior.

Yeah. From in living color. And I grew up. Same here, man. Oh.

Just like he has just one like. It's a laugh sound that he makes. It's like only he makes it. And it's not even a laugh. It's just like a.

Oh. Oh. Something like that. It sounds like a fucking. A bird that's like semi-interested, right?

Like a beautiful bird that's semi-interested. But during my set, I heard him make that laugh that I had heard him. I heard him use as a character from when I was a kid. And prose just so it was crazy to me. Like it one thing I said.

Yeah. He laughed. He made that sound at it. And that was enough. It's such validation.

Yeah. Because we grew up with these guys. And they were everything to us. Even just being on a show with spade or just talking to spade. That was my era of SNL.

Spade, Sandler, Farley.

“That's why I got in the stand-up comedy.”

Yeah. For real, I love that show so much SNL. Everyone can make it on social media now. Everything's fractured so much. But back in the day, if you wanted to do anything in comedy,

you had to touch SNL. Yeah. So that was everything. That was TikTok. That was Instagram.

That was anything comedy was SNL. That was Mount Rushmore. And I go, I want to do this. I want to work in the space. How do you get on SNL?

I fired up my modem. Yeah. Yeah. And I unspooled it. Like fucking dynamite to plug into the wall.

Yeah. It was a controlled demolition to get on the internet. And you applied to Boeing. Right. Well, pretty much though, because I researched,

I go, how do people get on SNL? And I saw that they came from one of two camps. They came from improv comedy.

Yes, and creating these scenes, or they were standard comedians. Like Kevin Neil and Sandler, Schneider, Spade, Eddie Murphy. They were all stand-ups. So then I researched all the improv schools.

Like UCB and Second City.

I'm some kid in Seattle. I'm like, what are these schools? Okay. They're on LA, New York, Chicago. I'm not there.

I can't do that. You have to pay money to do it. My parents already don't want me to be doing comedy. It's like clown college. They're already against it.

I can't say I'm going to pay money to go to clown college. And then stand-up, I go, oh, I'll do that. Because I just got to show up. And I get as much as I get out of it. Or I get as much as I put into it.

And I can count on me. I don't need improv partners. Yeah. Yeah. You get everything.

As a stand-up. Whatever you put in, you get out.

If you have the aptitude for it.

“So that's why I got in the stand-up, because I wanted to get on SNL.”

So it's so crazy to be the store, and then just talking to Spade. I know. I remember being a little kid sitting cross-legged, watching the TV, and thinking.

Spade lived in a box. Spade lived in a magic box. Yeah. And now he's writing down notes before going on stage, and then bringing me up in the OR.

And it's not lost on me. It's, it's, it's crazy. It's timeline that we're on. Yeah. I know it's hard to, it's hard to like.

It's such a just a good reminder to think about. Yeah, like. Just to also, that all the humor that's come before you, all the, whatever line of work you, and all the things that have come before you, like.

Like, whether you're a mechanic, and you're using like a new type of like rancher, some sort of new piece of equipment or something like. People were mechanic for years doing that and got to that place. They're like, some machine that makes your job easier,

some new way of doing it, or like, I don't know. Yeah, just you forget that like all these people have gone up over time on stage to try and say something, or whatever, to try and get somebody to feel something,

or them to feel something, or you to feel something. Yeah. Yeah, that's something that makes sense. Now that you're all part of this timeline, you're all part of this,

and they happen to be a generation or so above, and then you don't know to the time when you're a kid, but then you do the same thing for long enough, and then you become a part of that fabric. And they were just people like you were at the beginning,

but at a different phase of their, becoming a butterfly where it ever is. And what's mind blowing, too, is these guys that I just thought were Titans of comedy and could do no wrong, and were blowing my mind to learn as you get older,

that they were afraid of being fired a week to week on that senel. Do you hear spade talk about that or norm would talk about, oh yeah, we thought we were going to get, or even sand there. They thought about firing sand there.

You go, what? (laughing) You hear Chris falling mean. Yeah, just that any of them will sad in that place like, that they were having self doubt like that,

during what I thought was just the pinnacle and peak of comedy. I thought they were crushing it so hard, and they were worried, that's mind blowing. And then almost validating for the feelings you have, because I have that sometimes.

And I go, oh, that's just a human experience. Sometimes you think that there's celebrities and everything's gravy,

“because that's the packaging, that's what you portray.”

That gets jobs. But then everyone is having a human experience inside of it. And it makes you feel less alone. Like, okay, even spade and sand, they're felt what I'm feeling right now. Right, even they were taking a breath like, where do I do next?

Or what's going to happen now? Yeah. Am I going to get fired? Was that good? I hope people will like it.

Yeah, same exact three things. It's like, yeah, there's questions I've asked myself since I've really joined the workforce at 14.

Really what was your first job?

Well, I first got by these cell hamsters, but my adult first job was working in Italian pizza. Pizza. Worked at pizza, worked at pizza for a while. Was the name of it, huh?

Do you know the name of it? Do you know the name of it? Yeah, like the chain? No. There's a different piece.

That's the crazy part. We were like an outlier BJs. And it's supposed to be supposed to be for black jacks, but people get drunk in there and just start yelling,

“blow jobs at us kids who are working in the counter, right?”

And we make up fake orders for pizza deliveries, like Danny Glover once at pizza, because our guy who deliver was a born again Christian, he didn't watch television or any movies. So he didn't know any celebrities at all.

So he'd make up like Danny Glover once at pizza. I don't know if military road. So he'd go deliver that bitch while he was gone. Just try there's no way from the fucking connect to this while he's gone. So for 30 minutes he's gone.

We'd be deep frying, fucking beer. Do we would pour beer, deep frying, fucking eat it? We'd get hammered dude and he'd come back and be like, couldn't find the address, you know? Hmm, oh well.

But anyway, we're rambling. Here's an old lineup for the comedy store. Oh yeah, here's this a great lineup right here. Thank you, there's Frank Chow at 'em Ray, Argus Hamilton Owens Smith, Jeff Ross,

Well, should we give it, maybe we should black that out because she,

it's a super famous person who doesn't use their real name. Maybe black that out when we, yeah. And if you black it out and if you, if you, if you do black it out and want to put a name over it, you could put, um, Ali Wong.

(laughing) Who else we got, ripping from Andrew Santino? You and me right there, bro. Dude, is there anything kind of scary or funny or like just all of it whenever like you get to bring like, when you're set over,

it's kind of like a relief moment and then you get to bring somebody else up. It's like, it's like getting out of the pool and drying off and knowing you need it. Uh-huh, you know?

“Well, that's a skill you have to learn because not a lot of places do tag team like this.”

So when you first, when you get past there, you have to get used to it because most shows have an MC. And you see your time and the MC comes up and then brings up the next person. And this is all, you go up, bring somebody else up, they bring the next person up. So you have to get in that mode of like my sets over.

Now I've got to turn into host mode. It's like agent Smith. Like, all right, this next guy, you know you do your last joke and you go, "How's everybody doing? Fantastic. Let's show up getting better." And you don't know how to do that when you're young.

Yeah. But then you've been there so long now. You finish it like, all right, this next guy's hilarious. You're gonna love him for him and war. And then it's just very cool to go up after each other.

Yeah. Yeah, dude. It is magic. And it's just to be in a place where you see other people and stuff like that. You know, where you see a lot of people and see what's going on.

Yeah. It was like a place to be to at night. It was like, oh, Catherine, I don't need to be at a nightclub.

I never knew any of the nightclubs that were popping or any of that stuff.

Yeah. Because that is to you know, it was like, enough that that's where I'll be. I don't so weird. I know, like the nightclub scene I never went and it's weird because I dance. So people think like, you must go to nightclubs all the time.

Like I don't. It's so weird being good at dancing. I hate going to a nightclub. I have a private relationship with dance. I want to dance in my room.

I don't want to go to some like laser place. Yeah. In like dance. That's not fun for me. Yeah.

I like dancing by myself. Yeah, well, some trans male man. Yeah. I don't fucking drop something in your drink. You know, it's like, oh, I got an overnight for you.

You don't know. Yeah, I mean, that looks like fun. But I don't, I don't want to do that. Yeah. Good for John Hamm.

But that's not really my speed. Dude. Yeah. So I don't forget how much, how great was it though, Michael Jackson bro, growing up during the Michael Jackson area.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It took me a while to realize what song yours is. Yeah. I'm like, this is the Theo remix. Me too. Because I don't remember.

“I remember like a little bit of all of them.”

That was like. Yeah. That's going to kiss it. Yeah. Like a white.

Yeah. From black or white. That was like early AI. Black is white. You.

Yeah. Yeah. Probably that shit was so good dude. I mean, those videos coming out too. It would be like a movie coming out.

The world premiere of Black or white sitting down from the TV. Wasn't McColley Colkan. He like got it going. Yeah. Why, when did a premiere?

Let's look at it. Michael Jackson biopic Michael first reactions. That's. Oh, that's coming out in April. 22nd.

Yeah. That just came out. It just came out. Yeah. We do better than it at the movie theater this week.

It was in for this week. It says plus boys crushes Michael. I got that. I memorized though. Respect.

We did best for like for. Do I saw congrats man? I saw the we didn't put that out there to people. Or like put out like this is how much we did for the week or whatever.

“I think just showing what it is and being like blessed like, I mean, it is really cool that”

the fans showed up like that.

I'll never make our money back.

No. I think you will on streaming and stuff because that's pretty good. I read it was pretty good for an independent like per screen. It was fourth highest of all movies. Really?

We can per screen. Let's go do that. I don't even know that. Michael Jackson's Black or white music video premiere. November 14th, 1991 as a massive global event.

Directed by John Land of the 11 minute short film aired simultaneously. In 27 to 69 countries with an estimated 500 million viewers. Bro, man. People freak. That was win.

We were 100. We were all like it felt like every. You could meet somebody from another line. Would you even somebody that was in a coma? And you could at least.

You both knew. Yeah, you knew Michael. But you couldn't speak the language. But then you like grab your dick and he goes, Oh, me, me too.

Me too. Me. And then he would lean. Yeah. You too.

I love watching old Michael Jackson tour footage. Because it's just so fun to watch. Because he was the biggest thing on earth. And you'll see like European 35 year old man fainting.

Yeah. Michael. Michael.

He literally getting gurneyed out.

Did this guy this guy went by himself. He went with his bro.

“Like, I would have to get a new job or something.”

His brother's waiting in the car problem. Yeah. Like, yes. Yeah, there it is right there. Who's doing this to people today?

No, buddy. Maybe Bieber. Yeah, but I mean, not to this degree. Not like no one's doing that. And look how old they are.

Bieber is their younger. These are like 40 year old. They have a family. Yeah, this is someone. This is someone's grandpa.

And he's just standing there. He's just standing there and they're fainting. Like they imagine paying all this money to go see Michael Jackson. And he's standing like a statue. And you wake up in the hospital.

You spent all that money.

And they go, where's Michael?

They go, Michael left. He's in Barcelona now. I saw him remove his glasses. And that's all I remember. Well, he did all his songs and he glided.

I missed it. Yeah, you missed it again. Every time. He's like, I swear I won't faint this time. Yeah, he lost his whole family.

He won't faint. He wears something like a neck bruise. Yeah, something just to keep his blood like in the, like, clockwork or anything. Yeah, he tapes his eyes open.

He's like, not this time. He has like three mortgages to pay for this Michael Jackson.

“I think it's that he always faints through.”

Dude, God Michael Jackson was a thing. And that was one thing at school that all the kids could do. Like, you know. Yeah. It was more about the dancing.

Kids weren't trying to like out Michael sing each other. We weren't like. Yeah. It was more about the moonwalk. Yeah.

We didn't come to like, Reese. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you had the moonwalk.

My shit was a little bit more like the Pluto. Fuck is shuffle boy. My shit. Yeah, I can. I should have had a lamp and hell, but a swag in it.

I got to remember this story. I just heard this story actually. That one time Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson. They went out together. Like just all they were going out on the town.

And Michael had a bunch of chicks with him. Michael Jackson and a bunch of chicks with him. And Tyson was like, hey, which one of these girls is with you? Just so in case I'm flirt with one or whatever. And Michael Jackson told them, ah, they're all with me.

Get your own bitches. I told for you. That's what I heard. And I really heard that. Wow.

I heard it. I actually heard it today. Like hearing that story like through the filter of his voice. Yeah. They're all with me.

Get your own bitches. I just funny they both kind of have similar falsetto voices. Oh yeah. And Michael, how many of these? Can I, I don't want to step on any talk.

They're all my bitches. Get your own iron mic. That's on call for Mike. That's on call for Mike. Whatever Mike.

This is the battle of two falsetto mics. Bro, you didn't even have to have any friends. I bet when you're a kid. Dude, you're just fucking doing your own thing. Well, I get the idea.

But I mean, I don't, I don't care. I don't even breakfast. I'm just like talking to myself in the, like this is fun. Because we're just like riffing and shit. But I'm not eating Cheerio.

They're like, what if? What if? What if I said Cheerios? I'm eating. Do you notice, so you, so you, so you, so your imagination must be pretty active.

You probably have an actual imagination. I think it's the same thing. Yeah.

“Do you notice there's things that kind of damn it kind of, or do you notice?”

You've never noticed certain times in your life or, like, kind of periods.

Like, the, you've gone through or even, like, things you've, like, or activity is something you've engaged in. And every time you're like, that's, I notice that that takes away, like, it kind of dims, like, my brain's ability or medication, even. I'm just asking is Cheerios.

Because we never think about, like, what we do and how it affects our imagination. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm very personality and energy-based. Like, if I feel comfortable and safe, I can have fun and be. These ideas will come to me and I feel comfortable sharing them, but if I,

if I don't know someone as well, I'm, I just find, it's happened enough times where I'm, like, kind of reserved and I go in and I'm not, I'm not so forthcoming with ideas or whatever. I'm just kind of like, in myself. So I have to have, because I think at the end of the day, I am in introvert.

Even though I do stand up. So it's kind of weird if you're at a party and they're like, you're, you're a stand up. And I don't, I'm not really talking or anything. Yeah. But in my mind, I'm like, I don't, I don't know you.

You know? It's just, maybe some people have a stereotype of what a stand-up comedian is, where they're at a party and they're like, how much does a polar bear weigh? Wait, enough to break the ice. I'm being mean, I do, well, I've got your nose.

You know, I just kind of lay in the cut, because I don't know anybody. Yeah. And I'll latch on to whoever I know, but I'm not like a social butterfly and I'll observe and all that, but I can't have real fun unless I, I'm accustomed to you. And I know you and we have history.

Yeah. But then my creativity can come out. So I just noticed that.

So it's kind of like energy-based.

Even doing Rogan. Like, Rogan's so awesome. He's afforded me a career. Same here for me. Same here for me.

“So many of our peers, oh, so much to him.”

Like, I'm able to tour and like, you make a living and stuff and it's awesome. But I, I, I just, I don't know him as well as I know you. And that show is so big and stuff. I feel like I can't be as, as I can with you. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Because he's also an elder. He's, uh, he's a few generations above me and stand up. So I feel like I can't be as silly as maybe. But then you're a silly guy too.

Well, yeah. I mean, Joe's probably, he's probably one generation ahead of us and maybe that. Yeah. But he likes information. And he's like, what's the figure things out?

Yeah. Joe's like a learner. Yeah. You know, like, the rest of us are, I mean, the rest of us are, most of us are, most of us are, most of us are kind of goon in a round of the South American

West. Yeah. But Joe's like, oh, he's generally like a curious dude. Like he's like super pure and he really is. And it's got, he remembers everything.

That's got to be almost. I wonder if that's almost haptic sometimes. It's a retain all that information. I'm so envious of guys like, like, robin who know so much or Dave Smith or Tim Dillon. They're so well read and worldly to.

And I'm like, it'd be funny if some guy fainted on a Michael Jackson. It's just, I feel so dumb. But it's just different, you know. We need Joe to like, you need somebody that was just going to interview everybody. Like, I'm going to talk to every single person.

Yeah. I'm not going to have too much say so in and or anything. You know, I thought we think he's done a pretty good job of staying unbiased about stuff. Like, and then sometimes he steps in when he feels like, you know, he tries to, like, like, we all do, like, say, this is really how I feel about something.

I was on a show a couple weeks ago and people were giving him a hard time online about him, like, not being supportive, like about ended up presence or something. And people take a clip and make it like a big deal. But I didn't feel that way at all, like, in our conversation, you know. So sometimes it's so weird that the things that people clip.

“I think it's so big and it's so singular that people like adding their spin to whatever it is.”

You can take any clip and add text to it and then you're funneling people to view point into that. So much of what we do is just the clip version of it. Yeah. That's a lot of so much agendas, I think that's the very lot of shows that it breeds for three hours and have all these different people and then people can decide for themselves.

But the whole clipping on X is kind of, that's like a game genie is cheating. Yeah, it's those little cheating sometimes. Yeah, but people were like, yeah, he's not supporting himself.

And I've never felt anything.

In fact, as I've gotten to know him better over the years, which is, which is, he's such a busy dude. I think, like, imagine, like, I'll look at my phone. It's like, my mom's text to me, you know, she's like, also send me some emojis that aren't always most positive. And some of them, I think, means things that she doesn't even know they mean.

So a couple of veggies she sent me on like this. Oh, yeah, eggplant. Mom, you should never be. Don't tell me you're making eggplant. Just say eggplant.

Yeah, just make it to just make it. I don't even bring it up. Or she's just like that open mouth emoji all the time. I'm like, what are that tongue out? She's like, it's kind of crazy.

He's like, it's so hot today. It's so hot today. It's so hot today. It's so hot today. I'm gonna make a couple of eggplants.

And I'm like, dude, what are you? God, she's just, she loves gardening. So it's just like, you know, it's just navigating shit like that. But imagine your joke and you open your phone up. It's like Elon Musk is probably text to you.

You know, like, the some guy, like, some guy whose name you can't even read from like another country who wants to come on your podcast to like beg, you know, and then your wife also wants stuff your kids or ask you. Just like, he's like a thoroughfare for humanity. You know, he'll still text us back.

It's crazy. Like, all the text them and then even the book is show. He's like, how does he does it? I know. He doesn't, I mean, not to call you.

I mean, you have a producer. I love you. But like, it's fine to get everybody else that's producers. Rogan is like, hey, how's this day sound? I know.

That's bananas. Yeah, dude. But sounds like we don't watch the whole episode and people don't know things. Yeah. Well, we live in a hot takes society to do.

It's kind of crazy. Well, there's money in it. So there's money. There's attention. So yeah.

You just have to pull back and try not to be so susceptible to it. Like, as you get older, just realize, okay.

“Yeah, I think sometimes it's like, I don't know.”

But yeah, I felt, yeah, I mean, in that instance, or with that specific thing with Joe, it just felt like, man, I wish this isn't what I felt like happened, you know. Yeah. And yeah, and he's just, he's been super supportive.

He's always kind of checks in over the year.

Like, he's gotten a little bit more real check in. Or invite me out to dinner with his wife and his kids. Like that. It's like, well, I know it's hard. It's probably hard for him to even be around a lot of people a lot.

Because it's just a lot of energy you give out. I remember we went to dinner in Austin one time. It was, it was him, Tony, Alex Friedman, trying to think too well. Well, it was like a bizarre, you're like, what is this life, you know? Where's a Italian restaurant?

And then he changes the gravity of a, he's so big. You forget it.

And I just see him as a comedian.

I know him as that.

“But then you enter the real world and you kind of see how everyone else reacts to the same person.”

Yeah. So we're eating dinner and then this pasta would hit the table every now and then we look up. And there's like a 45-year-old woman just like throwing pasta to get his attention. She's like, hi. And he's like, yeah.

Yeah, I just, you know, I just want to say hello. And he's like, why do you come downstairs and say hi? Like a normal person. He's like, okay. And I want to bother you.

If he's like throwing pasta, this is way worse than just, I don't know what was going through his ladies head, but she was just throwing pasta on the table. That's Italian emails, brother. That's all.

That's all. It's home and warm pasta. It's terrible. That's a fucking crazy email. But yeah.

Anyway, I think it's, yeah, I think it's had to be, I don't know. Sometimes you think of, what is it like to be him? He's an interesting guy. There's a question I want to ask you. Can I do that?

Yeah, sure. So, okay, we were doing one of the shows. And then, I don't know if you even heard it, you're on stage. And then some random person was like, "Don't talk about road rules."

Oh, yeah. And to me, it's just so absurd because you've done so much paths beyond that. Yeah.

“You're kind of like, is anybody even remember that?”

How do you take it that part of your life? And then what was that kind of fame? Because that was, MTV was huge. That's what I like, what TikTok is now, or being a streamer.

Like, good point of never thought about it.

And a correlation like, what that's what TikTok is now. Yeah. Think about any young person whose fame is MTV was that for us. That was like the vessel. Well, it's probably where Michael Jackson premiered on.

I'm guessing that it probably was one of the networks that it premiered on. Because I think if TV was semi-universal at the time. Yeah, that was our TikTok pretty much. Like, if you wanted anything young, it was that. Yeah.

And I also had this thought too. Like, young people today have it so nice that the entertainment they watch is made by young people. When we were growing up, we were watching like, balding 30-year-olds try to be in high school on TV shows.

And if you were more probably touching the kids they were working with. Maybe. We don't know. But all the time. There's a pretty good chance.

That was happening. But we were watching an approximation of youth. Yeah. You know, like, that's because that's all we had. We're watching Yomama.

We were watching Wilmer Valdorama. Host. Different factions of Yomama groups. Yeah. Now, if you're tin, you can find a tin.

You're like, or now if you're 20, you can find it. You can find like, oh, you can speak to you. Right. That's a good point.

I never thought about that.

Exactly. Because even, like, I'm trying to think, like, yeah. MTV, it was like older people. People who were watching though were 12 or 13. It slanted younger.

But you had to watch, like, these are the youngest people I see on TV. But they happen to be 20 or 25. Like, 902.0. How old were they during shooting that? They were probably 26.

I would bet. Maybe. Like, one of them was full on, like, balding. Yeah. I was like, this isn't the teacher.

They gave a teacher a backpack. Bro, remember that? Yeah. Those were the shows who would sit and watch us. Oh, do 90210 was like, it was the show with for my family.

And then I'll get back into your question too, because I don't want you to think I was trying to not answer it. That was the show from my family. We were like, we were all at a Shannon Doherty. Jenny Garth.

Tori Spilling Brian Austin Green. Jason Priestley, Luke Perry. I ends here in Gabrielle Carteris. 29 years old. Yeah, I mean, I mean, some of them are young.

Yes, some of them make sense, but some of them are stretch. And this is when it started too. So by the end, they were all mid 20s. Right. But dude, yeah, that was like, the show was the show where, like,

like, probably I'd watch with three of my siblings. And we were all, like, two years apart. So we all had like different, like, one of us was watching me. It was like cool about school because it was cool. If it was at a high school in the one of us was watching because, like,

you know, we hadn't gotten hear about things that, like, older kids do or anything like that. And then, um, one of us was just watching to see, like, if there was any black shows or anything like that,

“or a little bit of sexy time or something, you know?”

But yeah, dude, that was a fucking juggernaut. How many people watch that show? I wonder so many. I'm sure it was unbelievable. Look, Perry passed away few years ago, didn't he?

Yeah. And Shannon, do already. Oh. Yeah, that show was wild, dude. Uh, yeah.

For the real real stuff, the crazy thing for me was, as someone's, I can't even remember it. It's that long ago. It's that long ago, I think, and I think I've just had, like, you know, we get busy.

You're in, like, with comedy, you're doing a lot of stuff. Like, you're performing in a lot of, like, you know, you get up almost every night. And so, so I think that starts to, you know, uh, that starts to take over a lot of space.

Um, one thing that was, I think, in hindsight, a blessing about that experience was that I kind of got to be, like, you got to level a popularity there, but you didn't, like, with doing roles, being on MTV,

So you had no, and you had no, uh,

“the only way you could get, like, any, like,”

kind of, you had to keep going back to them to, if you wanted something else, you know, you just had to be in their world. And in part of it was a blessing and stuff. Like, that you got to do cool stuff, not the cleaning,

but um, but, but one thing was, I realized at that time that, like, there wasn't a, like, being popular was cool, but there wasn't, like, a ton of value to it. Like, for years, I kind of thought, like, oh, is this cool thing?

But then I was like, well, what is it for? Like, where does it really, you know, like, you know, I didn't have a long conversation with drunk dudes at a bar, or something or something fucking monster that corners you, and you're like, trying to look over his shoulder,

like, hopefully, hopefully some woman's giving you. I contact you sitting there just, just stuck fucking inches away from some dudes, non-deodorant, you know? But yeah, I think I realized that there was,

there wasn't a lot of, that fame had, like, there wasn't a ton of value to it. Well, especially monetarily, it wasn't there, right? So you just had fame, but you didn't have,

you didn't really own your fans kind of.

Right, you know, like, every, like, oh, look at that motherfucker, damn, he's fucked up, you know? Or he's at the, you know, he'd be at the bus stop at school. There's no almost shit that's totally normal, you're in college. Yeah, so just give you a bunch of conversations

you didn't want to have to be in, or... Yeah, well, like, maybe look at the values of popularity. Like, what value is this? Like, yeah, it's valuable to me in the sense of, like, if I'm going to be out in a, or if I want to get help

getting into a nightclub or something, but I don't really have a voice for myself. I didn't really have anything to show for. You didn't make any money. So it was, you know, you had some fun experiences,

but then you were also left with a lot of people who knew you, who you were, and no way to hide from it. You know, like, I remember I was, even after that, I was sleeping on my buddy's floor for, like, probably a year.

You know, so I don't know. It just, it almost felt like, I don't know. It just gave you a look at what popularity was

“and the values of it and the non values of it, I think.”

So then, like, I started coming in the 18 years later, I had this whole other experience.

And most people don't even know about the first one,

or they just didn't put it together. I don't know what happened. So I'm so rarely here about it. It's such a deep cut. Yes, sometimes I wish I were met.

Like, I think I was just had a young play. Like, I was just had a place where you just energetic and frenetic and shit. You just trying to get laid and trying to just jerk yourself off or whatever and tell me a lot of people

say you got laid or something. Well, I guess now people, because you were glombing onto this other thing that was kind of bigger than the pieces who are part of that show.

So it almost feels like you're renting that fame, or you're just a part of the assembly line. Yeah, I felt like I didn't represent me. Like, and it felt like I didn't, they can edit things away.

They won't what you're fine, but it's not my, I don't get to be. I don't get to be the be all in all of me, right? Yeah. Like, I don't get to say exactly how this is,

this is for me. Right. But I don't know, it was cool that I got this.

“One thing I think I'm just almost kind of grateful”

to God about it is that I got this like trial run at what it was like to have some popularity. And so then, whenever it happened again, I've think I've been able to navigate it differently for myself.

Yeah. Not always great, but I've definitely had a different perception of it. And a different understanding of the potential values of it in some spaces.

Right. Maybe does that make any sense? No, it does, because even, people have an idea of what fame is, but there's like levels to it as well,

and you think you want it. I think, especially when you're young, just because the things that you want, fame will unlock immediately. Yeah.

Those are kind of primal wants. Once you get past it, you realize that okay, it's not as great, but it's great when you're 18 or 20.

Yeah, if you're just trying to become and or whatever, getting the meals or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, coming in meals, it's great. Coming in meals,

fame is great for that. But why am I here? It's hard. If you want to bust and have a pad tie, it's,

fame is awesome. You'll do those for free. But if you, like, you know, what are these relationships? Are they built on lies?

It's harder for that. Yeah, it's harder. So I don't know, but yeah, sometimes I'm off to it.

Next time I'm going to do an episode about to go down some of those roads, or even those roads of like, shows that we used to watch and shit, thinking about something that's fun.

So you started out in business. You worked at Boeing. What were you doing over there? I was doing engineering. So I was doing stress analysis at Long Beach.

So the Boeing out in Long Beach. That's what I went to school for. I did mechanical engineering. But I knew I wanted to do stand up when I was 18. I was very young.

And then I just applied to jobs in Socal, and then I got a job at Boeing and Long Beach. And what is a mechanical engineer? Just so people know. There's different facets of it.

You can go into, you can do like HVAC. That's, that's an industry. You can go into, just like heating and cooling. You can go into, some people work at Toyota with cars.

And then aerospace is a big employer of mechanical. Just think about anything mechanical.

Like Tesla.

Just, you know, anything mechanical.

So then yeah, I got my degree. And then I knew I wanted to stand up. And as a stand-up back then, there was no internet really. I mean, or social media.

You had to go to New York or LA. And I'm like, I'm my parents aren't Seattle. I kind of want to do entertainment as well. TV movies. So I chose LA.

So then I, that's, I supplied a jobs in LA. And then I got a job at Boeing and Long Beach. And you hadn't started even standing up yet? No, I did. I was, the summer after I graduated high school.

I was 18. And then I just started going to the comedy club in Seattle. Did you see Adam Ray was either? He didn't start yet. Oh.

So I think I met Adam Ray and Moot. Yeah, Moot was there. Jeff die actually started a few years after me. Maybe like two, two or three years after me. So there was this, some funny people coming out of Seattle.

But Adam, Adam, didn't, I met him. But he didn't start in the scene there. He started out here in LA. He went to USC.

But he wasn't at the mics or anything like that.

Oh, God. Adam Ray. Yeah, Adam Ray. Yeah.

“So that's how I ended up in LA and we're going to Boeing.”

I was like four years and then I quit. Was it cooler over there? Like is it like a nice space where you guys have like a launch or like a community area? Like what's that? It was so quintessential like office spacey.

At least I was envious because tech was having this boom with Microsoft, Google, people are on razor scooters jumping the ball pits and shit. You know what I mean? Like tech looked so fun. And then that's great.

It did. But just to hear somebody say that it just shows you how people are so different in different places where they grow up. Yeah, yeah. Like nobody ever rom from is ever said tech look so fun.

You're saying no one in Louisiana is that tech looks so fun. Because I don't think so. We're going to get a lot of kids saying that. It's okay though, but it's cool though. It's just cool.

But like fun places are different. And did with your pants like a lot of pressure. Do you have a lot of pressure? Yeah. What is your what happens?

Where are your pants from Afghanistan? From Afghanistan. So they came here from there. And so yeah, there is that stereotype. What is that stereotype?

Is it a real stereotype? And is it just for Afghanistan or is it for a lot of it? It's immigrants. Just like, you know, it's immigrants. It's an immigrant thing.

“If you leave your country and you come to America,”

you don't want to hear your kid is hitting the mic. Yeah. You don't even like we evaded the Russians for you to try this new bit. Yeah. You know.

You don't understand. This joke has legs. Just let me do it three times. And if it bombs, I won't do it anymore. Yeah, mom.

It's about way modes. It's about. We just got way modes in Nashville too. Yeah. And people are fucking.

You can see people. They don't like them. Well, they're called. I'm saying they're out there yelling. You know, shit.

All right. We're almost. We don't like you. Get the fuck out of here. Or wagers.

They're called the wager. I'm like, that's insane to be. What's happening? Yeah. It doesn't even know what slurs being thrown at it.

Is it's trying to get? It's people. The words got to go. Yeah, dude. What?

I saw you. Did this. I was going to do something on. You're like the drive that car started complaining. Or it was having a bad day.

What did you say? Oh, yeah. It was like a way. I forgot how it went. You know what?

I mean, maybe I have it on my Instagram somewhere.

“But like, I think you had some tech guy on.”

Because my buddy hit me up. Because you mentioned me anytime you name check me. I've, you know, you friends who are a huge fan of the pod. And they're like, I'll talk to you and I saw the clip. And you're talking to some tech guy.

He's like, you know, if you hear him out or he has no idea. And you're telling him the way Mojo. And he's just like staring at you, like paint drying. But you're just telling him my joke. And he's like, yeah, that's great.

Maybe he was Alexander. Yeah. Yeah. Was it? Oh, that's great, dude.

Oh, yeah. Maybe this is the one. Yeah. Let me see this, bro. This is what I forgot how it goes.

I got to take one recently. I get in. There's no driver. And the way Mo goes. This isn't my main thing.

I around. And it was quiet for a while. The ride is pretty quiet. And then I don't know where the way Mo went. We need to go the wall.

It's like a mango way Mo. I guess. And we get a guy. We get a person. We just get over the car.

And the way Mo went. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You got to help me.

What do you mean I got to help you? It's like, you're on part of this now. I want to even help you. It's like, chop it up in a smaller business. From the cards in the back.

This is happening to me, bro. I'm going to see how many coals. You know, you're a car. I don't even do coals. He's like, put it in my charge for.

You know, fuck. What's going on in the car wash? It's like doing a screenplay for a Pixar movie But a way Mo. Dude, that's great, bro.

Everything.

But that's like, I feel like you do like a million of those

every single time. It's just like, what about this? And it's like some new thing, man. It's always so novel. You're one of the people that when I see you or like,

It's just like, it's like the pureest thing.

It's like, this is something funny. Let me see how it goes. That's so cool that you like,

“notice that or appreciate it because that's honestly the whole”

reason I do stand up is I think of something. And I, I think it's funny. And I want to share it. And I hope that people validate what I, this idea. Like, does this idea work?

Does it have legs? And when they do, it's the best feeling in the world. I, whenever I do stand up is just, I, I hope you think this is funny too. Like, I don't need them to laugh or whatever, but I'm like,

I thought this is novel. Do you guys find it novel? And there's just such joy in that. And when it works, I'm the happiest in the world. So I'm chasing that.

Yeah, why is that you think? What is that? I mean, obviously want to make people happy. Like, it's fun to make somebody laugh or something like that. Like, there's something so perfect about it.

I get it. It's like there was nothing here a moment ago. And now, like, you're laughing or both laugh. And like, that's just pretty dope really. For me, when I have a bit that like,

I know works. I get less of a rush because I know it works. I know the joke works. So it almost feels like there's, it serves its purpose. Like, when you do the road and you're celebrating those bits that you got to that place.

But if I'm just working out in town, I'm like, I already know, I already know the joke works. So it doesn't scratch the comic itch in me. But if I can get something that's mediocre or brand new thought to work, that's when I get all the dope and mean and stuff,

I'm like, what a rush. That's a catching a big way for me. Something's, yeah. As a mechanical engineer, do you think that, 'cause we've been talking about things that are black and white,

we've been talking about whamos and black and black. But yeah, in the spirit of continuing to talk about things that are black and white, do you think that we went to the moon? I just caught it right now. It's so funny.

You're just like, "Kip's under really dark."

And I finally got the black or white thing.

Yeah, do you think that we went to the moon? You're a mechanical engineer, dude. Yeah, yeah. And you left the business because you're like, "Oh, these, they don't. Why did you leave?"

I was finally doing well enough in comedy where I could. So that was the goal the whole time, but I mean, most of us had a double life until you got to the point where the art was doing well enough to abandon ship. Did you have a last day, do you remember?

Yeah, kind of. Oddly enough, I had, I had booked this MTV show and they needed me for three months. And I didn't even want to leave. I didn't even want to quit.

I just, I wanted to do a leave of absence 'cause I planned on returning after shooting this MTV show.

“I'm like, "Yeah, I, you know, can I come back after three months?”

I have to take this leave?" And I'm like, "No, you can't do that. You can't take a much time off." And then I read that you can only collect an employment if they fire you.

So then, so that just sent an email, I go, "I will be leaving on this day and I plan on returning this day. Just to let them know that I plan on returning." And then I just left the office. And then I wouldn't answer their calls or emails or anything.

I was just waiting for them to terminate me. Right? Right. And then I get an employment. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm playing 40 chess games. Yeah. There's levels to this thing. So, enough time, I'm dodging them. I'm dodging them.

Then find they get a voice mail like, "Okay, well, we've terminated you." I'm in my shitty apartment that you just saw where I'm dancing with Gene Co. Jeans. I'm like, "Yeah." Free it last.

That didn't get a fucking put on. I almost saw the soundtrack. I can just fucking put on your favorite ballet boots. So that's why I left.

I finally was able to, it was still dicey though.

Even though I left, I wasn't making tons of money or anything. But it was too big of an opportunity. I'm like, "Oh, this is MTV show. I should do a show." It's a disaster date of all things.

Oh, that shows you. Remember that? No, I remember a limit date. Remember that, too. Remember third wheel?

“Remember the theme song for a limit date.”

A limit date. Yeah, I'm buying a boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. A limit date. I'm buying a boom, boom, boom. They would have time cards.

I think I was, was that a limit date? Was he like, "Why don't you have a 30-minute timeout?" Yeah. They'd like that date to give you a timeout. And then she'd be with her man.

Yeah, the best one of them, whatever one was, they had a dude who slipped off and did a bunch of fucking yay and came back. Really? Yeah, that dude was bagged up when he came back. And actually it was the best, bro.

And when they had like three or four people, they had to pick who to let go. And sometimes you'd be shocked. That was good. That was a limit date.

Oh, okay. When they had like three or four of them, I think four or three. And then each time they would let somebody go into that, it'd make the last one or whatever.

And then there was one called fifth wheel. There was on a boss or whatever. And then did you get to be the datey? So the premise of the show. Oh, my God.

I'm so young. His answer date. You're just, you would just be a terrible data. So friends would set their friends up on the date. And then they would see how long they could last on the date.

And you're just acting wild. And however many minutes they last,

which is like nothing.

Why would anybody do this?

So if they said there would be some volume to make millions to you. Yeah, so not worth it. Remember Jeff Keith was on it. It was like boiling points for dating.

I remember this. Was this with Sally? Yes. That was like four nine five productions. And their big show was Jersey Shore.

Yes. And this was the red headed stepchild that nobody watched. Got it. Because Jersey Shore was like fucking cute. Yeah.

“And I remember there was a rat party for,”

I did two seasons of this. Like we did a rat party for nine five. And Jersey Shore was there. And then we were there too. But like nobody gave a fuck.

We were like the the team who show. So. The Zasters. Snookie was there. Mike the situation was there in the heyday.

Yeah. So I have an old picture like me and Snookie and new with the situation. He's doing this. Like very unbranded.

He did. He has aviators. And only.

For all that shit's so great though.

Yeah. Yeah. What was going to ask about? Oh, do you think my. Oh, yeah.

But on the engineer side. Do you think we went to the moon? Like does it because a lot of comedians have a good sense. I think sometimes of like bullshit. Uh-huh.

Because they're making a lot of bullshit. So it's like they know, you know, how much is on the scale at times. What do you think happened man? I'm not as smart as people think I am just because of the title.

I think we did. It's tough because like yeah. I worked at Boeing. I'm an engineer. But then people think that I'm way.

I just did a bunch of school.

“I was good at these formulas and I did it.”

But I really don't know ton of stuff. But I think we did. We did go there. You did. Well, I look at the footage of the.

The iPhone. That was kind of cool. That just came out. Yeah. The astronaut was in there.

It was pretty cool. Let's take a peek at that.

Who's the first wager in space do you think?

Have they done it? Mmm. Like test their blood to see. Yeah. Not just like.

Just like. God, send a real fucking Jason Williams up there. You know what I'm saying? Just for science. Like we want to see how their body reacts to space.

So we're sending Jason Williams up. And he's elbow passing to other astronaut. Do you imagine the passes he could do in zero G's? Pro. But that looks.

Come on. If we get to unlock Jason Williams on the moon, that'd be so sick. That looks like a sperm going to an egg kind of. That's true. That is.

Dude, this is crazy. So that's a picture. I think I just took on his eye. One of the female astronauts took that. Probably her man being like, where are you?

And he's like bullshit. Yeah, she goes space. I told you. Yeah. And then she sends that back.

Uh-huh. Pro of it. Yeah. Tonight club. I've been there.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Didn't speak in a space and wiggas and everything. What? That's a crazy space.

That sounds like a comics unleashed segway. Speaking of wiggas and space. That's so viral now. And he was like, tell me about that. He was like, oh, sorry.

Mother died. What else is going on with you, Tommy? And it was just like keep it moving. There's an arc to it. Congrats to Byron Allen.

They got that new time slot. So yeah. Good for comics unleashed. They give a lot of, you know, screen time to younger comics and stuff. And more pieces.

Some of them too. Yeah. They've done a lot of that for people. Yeah. And since we're on the subject of space and wiggas.

Let's, they just had a marriage proposal. It's a gender reveal. Oh, I'm sorry. It's, yeah. This is gender reveal.

No matter what gender that baby's going to be mixed. That's just wiggin' on me. Your baby? I'm gonna let you know. You're gonna let you know.

You're gonna let you know. What if they do an ultrasound? And the baby's like. Like he's just like his dad. Top lock and drop it.

So you walk in and the wound? Do, yeah, they don't. Wiggas was everything when I was a kid, man. I mean, I feel he used to be able to say it freely.

“Some people get tense about like, are you allowed to say wiggas?”

Is it still, can we? Is it back? Yeah, it's back. I never left. Dude, half the MBA.

Hmm. I feel like they're euro though. We used to have. Well, you bring up a couple euro wiggas if you can't. This is at the new term.

I guess it is. I mean, that's a great question. Who is kind of a euro? A euro dub. I think they're mostly euro dobs.

You think? We used to have homegrown dobs. Yeah. Now we have these foreigners. Did they have a lot of dobs up there in Seattle?

There's every middle school has some dobs. But they're not real dobs. We thought that rain up there a lot of damp dobs. There's some damp dobs. You know, it's funny.

University I went to. You dob. University of Washington. Yeah. Dub Nation, dude.

Panics, bro. Um, how could if you're a wiggah.

Like you're already married to the streets.

I feel like it's a good point. Maybe it's like polyamory.

“Like are you open to an open relationship?”

It'll be you in the streets. Will you share me with the streets? Yeah. That's an open minded. Oh, I left the trenches to get you.

And let's go back together. Yeah. Oh, I love that idea. It's almost like that movie with Robin Williams. Which one?

Uh, what dreams may come? You say what dreams? What dreams may come? What dreams may come, dude? Of course they may.

Bro, there's nothing kind of shadier though in like. Like there's nothing kind of shadier when you get wet dreamed or whatever. Because it's like, it's like, it's like, sometimes you, like if you're especially going through a time period, we do not want to be ejaculate in or whatever. Right.

And then God, like wet dreams, you or whatever.

You're like, oh, damn. It's kind of a gift. It's like, thank you. Kind of, dude. Oh, we have one of our previous producers, it's kid Rally Mal.

He used to pray that God would touch him in his sleep. So he'd be able to, because he didn't have any hidden. Never ejaculated. And would God answer? Yeah.

He said he would. But that shit was just damn like.

“You ever have it happen where you're like not at home and like, no, this is tricky.”

That's not ideal. Like in a way game. Like you're in sleeping somewhere. When you're a kid and like you're somebody else's house, you're like, this is, no. Now you're like, dexter.

I'll like, I don't get rid of it. Or am I just crusty? There's just a dry wall. I don't, I only come local, bro. That's me.

But you have no control of your brain. Sometimes it does it.

You would never have it happen.

I don't think so. I wet the bed a lot of people's homes. I don't feel like that's more acceptable. It kind of is, which is crazy. And it's way more liquid.

Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of crazy how if you wet the bed at somebody's house. So like that's fine. Let's help you out, you know. But you ejaculate in your sleep at somebody's house.

And they're like, oh, get out. You go, I could have wet the bed. Yeah. Damn, that's a different dude. What else we got?

What's popping, guys? Some of the robots. I love that robot dog in the Atlanta apartment complex. Oh, y'all, let's see that, dude. Yes, especially since you worked in tech, bro.

I want to get, let's get your viewpoint on some of this tech dude. Oh, did you ever get to meet Bill Gates? No. What if I was like, I was an Epstein island. And I got to meet him briefly.

I was trying to ask my windows. But he said he had to get to a room. I thought that was odd. I was trying to troubleshoot my, my Dell, my Dell PC. Do you ever hear rumors about him or anything? I was like, what was he like?

Oh, I mean, I had no idea.

“I feel like a lot of them with those files, like, what?”

This person? Who would think that Bill Gates is doing, you know what I mean? Yeah. Did you have any idea? Yeah, I think money, you know, get so much power.

You get to understand why these people, but like, nobody would throw a dart and think it would hit Bill Gates. That he would be involved in some of that. Yeah. When I was a kid in the '90s, this guy talking about windows,

that he's going to be on a Epstein island. And it's crazy to think how they, like, they made everybody, other like Michael Jackson is a pedophile or whatever, right? And he who may or may not have been, we don't know. But there's also evidence out there that he was getting with a lot of women.

Right. Like Tyson. Mike Tyson, what will it test? Here's Bill Gates, right here. Let's see what happens.

Oh, okay. We jumped over a chair. Why did you do it? Just to show that he could do it. It was like impressive back in the '90s.

He's sitting on Connie Chung. She's married a more povert, right? This fucking Chung jumper. Jump for Chung, dude. That'd be a good, ah.

That'd be a good Asian Olympic thing when to be. Jump for Chung, and it's a fundraiser. Right. For the family. People jump as far as they can for Connie Chung.

I would, y'all would jump. Jump for Chung. How much money do you think we'd raise for that? I do it. Have you seen some of this text?

And you said you worked out for so long. I'm the resident expert. You just anointed me as the resident expert. And I'm kind of dumb. Let's take a gander at this, dude.

Not they got the motherfucking robot doll in the motherfucking hood. Put you on the part me. What the fuck's happened? A.S.U.D. What the fuck?

He's like he's in a bite away. What's going on there? Get down. Hello? I'll be with anyone.

How are you? What are you with? I'm good. This is a person I want to hear. So what we're talking to robot doll get here for.

Till why is the people going to hate himself? Oh, sorry. So we're actually like the robotic security doll here. So what's our got the tellers? I'm like a sat down.

Hi. Hi. Two.

“A lot of blackbow data won't you just say what's up to him?”

Bro, once they said hi, bro, everybody was chill.

You know, the robot dapped him up and stuff. I don't know. I don't shit. The robots were in like a couple of chains and shit next week. Dude, they're going to fucking fix that thing up.

Pop and bro. They're going to get that thing in a little suit. It's going to look like fucking LaVelle Crawford in a month. That is going to be dope as hell, bro. They're going to get that thing pop and bro.

It's going to be beautiful. That's crazy. What do you think? I don't know if I could be a cop man. I don't know if I could be.

I could be a dog. Like a cop dog. Or just if I want to be a dog that lives out doors of the old school dogs. Like when I was going up that dog that lives out doors. And I remember the first time I ever saw a dog that lived indoors.

I went to my buddy's house and a dog came around the corner. He didn't move inside. And I was like, whoa. And it was like a blonde dog. It was like beautiful.

It looked like Susan. Susan summer's. Remember her? Oh yeah. Oh beautiful.

Yeah. I mean, just fucking beautiful. This thing came around. And it lived inside. And I could not even believe it.

I could it blew my mind. I was like, you've got to be kidding me. But it was so beautiful. It deserved to live inside, right? Like I'd seen a lot of dog that hadn't had.

Missing teeth, missing fucking eyebrows or whatever. It was a normal conversation. You know, just dogs. We had a dog that couldn't go forward.

Whatever that bitch was always.

So he'd fucking he was something. His shoulders, his front shoulders were. Uh, um, calcified or whatever. And so he had a fucking. So we had to go backwards.

It was like damn small fucker. But he was still get you. You know, I'm saying, so that would be crazy. At first you like this motherfucker and get me. But 10 or two minutes later, you'd have you fucking cornered somewhere.

Or bro, what is that asshole? He'd have you cornered what is dang asshole. And he's, you still hear his voice. But it's going the other way, bro. And that's the kind of shit I grew up around, bro.

But yeah, what do you think, man? You think he could be a dog? You think he could be a cop? I don't, I don't know if I could be a cop. If you were dancing, cop though, theme.

Well, now you've sweetened the deal. You buried the lead, man. Maybe that could be a way to recruit a lot of people who normally wouldn't be cops. You lead with dancing.

You might get some Broadway folk in there. You might get me. Yeah.

Can I like twirl when I apprehend you?

Getting you whatever you want.

“I think if there's a cool way to hit the cops,”

to hit the cuffs on him, you know? Yeah. Like what song do you want to listen to? Why you get arrested? That sort of thing, you know?

Do they choose or do I get to choose? I think you guys each get one. It could be like Miranda, right? So you could choose whatever song you want. Played while I arrest you.

Yeah. And they go to their Spotify. And then while they're slammed against the car, it's like a Kendrick track. She's like, "Damn."

It makes the experience better, right? Yeah. It's just a mystical, keep bump me. It gives the flow. Why don't you do it?

I can't be with a knife in my hand. Be cool. What was his biggest song, mystical? Did I do that? No.

That was, that was her goal. Danger. Yeah. But mystical, I think he sampled that in his song. Dang.

Yeah. He was one of a kind, bro. What? He was... Cousins with Master Pete? Yeah. It was something.

Black people love to be Cousins, bro. This is true. You know what I'm talking about? They do. Brothers as well, and sisters.

“Why people don't love it as much to be Cousins, black people?”

That's a good point. Yeah. Cousins is an umbrella term. Yeah. But I feel like...

Even, like, Afghans will use Cousins loosely. Really? Because sometimes there's a family friend that's so close. That's just saying, friend. It doesn't quite describe it.

And then Cousins is almost like honorary Cousins. Yeah. That's fair. And your family changes as you get older. It's like, people will come in your life.

And they really represent a lot. Like something that's very meaningful, like a meaningful connection. Yeah. Just sometimes, friend isn't really, doesn't really do it justice.

And then sometimes those people kind of leave, you know? Right. If you grew up with someone from the age of four, and you still know them, I almost feel like they feel more like a cousin than just a friend.

Yeah. Yeah. That's got a cool tone. Like you've been upgraded to Cousins. Yeah.

They get, like, a, like, a text and automatic text. Mm-hmm. It's a thing. Um. Yeah.

What was I going to ask? What is this about? Oh, yeah. I'm ready for one of the weird things. Sure.

No. I must have said she comes in your closet. I don't know when I got you. That's the one. Look at it.

It's not what you get it. That ends to me. Who taught you how to do this stuff? You are right. I learned it by watching you.

Parents who use drugs have children who use drugs. And I think years later,

Yeah. And profiting off of it. Like, just kind of crazy. Yeah. It's got to be in a pill form though.

It's got to, you got to ball it up. But dude, that was crazy. That was hard hit. Yeah. Back in the day.

Or when they had the thing you're high school, remember when they had the, uh, don't die like this. And it'd be like, if they got like,

if they always did it around Halloween,

because they had extra, like, blood in the area or whatever. And they would, um, somebody like hanging out of a burning car. And they'd set the back of the car on fire. And it would all happen like out on the football field.

And you have to go watch it. It's sort of like a scared straight. Yeah. They would make an accident scene and be like, this could be you.

It's kind of gruesome. Yeah. We should probably shouldn't have been seeing that that young. Of course. And people like, it was crazy.

And then they'd always had a bag of coke on a kid or something. Let that drug dog go find it. And then people like, oh shit, where you've got coke on him. And then for the rest of his life,

people like Dan William got coke on him, right? Yeah. Just making an example out of a kid, even though he never did it. Yeah.

It's ruined his life. Like, you know what I mean? Like Dan, you're like, you know what I mean? You got that bag. It's so sad watching these videos because our childhood is in 360p.

That was two pixels. I know. That was just two blocks. It's so sad if you're, if you're dating a younger chick or whatever, you go, oh, check out these highlights of Sean Camp dunking.

And it's 360p. It's so grainy. No, it's our childhood isn't in high depth. Like these kids today. But it was clear to us back then.

That's what's crazy bro. I feel like it was just hard to get the fidelity of, it didn't look this bad back then. Did it? It had to go.

What do you think happened? VHS isn't great. But I feel like it's better than,

“I think broadcast TV is a higher resolution and they can't,”

they couldn't translate it to digital. Yeah. Your new special that's coming out. Intrusive thoughts. Trusive thoughts.

Yeah.

This is your third special?

It's my fourth, I think. Okay. It's special. Damn. And one of the point now where you kind of tour for a year

and then you got to hang the painting somewhere. You kind of get it tight from city to city. And then you got to, I'm done with these jokes. Yeah. You got to film it and then put it out there and then move on.

So it's less about putting a special out in life. I'm huge. That used to be the thing back in the day. Yeah, it means you feel some type of way. Now it's like almost just like, uh, like closing the diary.

It's a picture. This was me for the past year when I was on tour. Here are the jokes because everything is so clip based. Because everything is certain kind of like fixes. I'm like garbling.

Yeah. You're fine. Also everybody's retarded. You think? The fact you put together like 11 senses is way better than most of us

in the world are doing. Because everything is so clip based. And that's great. But it's nice to show that you can do a cohesive. 45 to an hour.

It's sort of the difference between breaking a face into a million pieces. But I'd like to see the whole face. This is what I was doing on the road. Here it is.

And hopefully people like it. I want them to watch it. But now I get to move on. And that's kind of nice. You just dump all those jokes from your head.

Yeah. Who am I now? And let's talk about that. Yeah, dude. Intrusive thoughts.

That's awesome. And where can people watch it right now? Which is going to be on YouTube. Yeah. I'll be on my YouTube channel.

And we'll be able to pay for there for it too.

“If they want, you know, but honestly just a super thanks.”

A thumbs up comment shared with a friend. I just want people to see it. That'd be the best. Awesome. Do you?

Yes. Send me a clip that you really like or something that you want. If there's someone that I can help to reshare something or if there's some stuff on TikTok. Let me know.

Okay. Yeah, definitely. You will let me know. Yeah. I'll let you know.

Yeah. And thanks for being so supportive, man. Take me on the road. Having me on this pod to get the word out of the special. It means a lot to me, man.

Oh, thanks, dude. I appreciate it, man. I had one other question I wanted to ask you. I feel like in my lifetime, like a lot of people that are from the Middle East have gotten like a bad rap, like in or they've gotten negatively, possibly, negatively, like branded

by media kind of.

When I say that, does that because you always hear stuff like, you know, these people

are jihadists or these people are like, even the term Muslim to some people makes it seem like that person is like a person with a bomb or like, um, do you think that that's a real thing that's happened? And then, uh, and then what can you say like about like people from that, like, do you think people from some of those areas like hate America or like maybe don't have to go

that far? But just like, can you take me, if I say that kind of stuff, does it make you think anything? I mean, you're not far off in terms of the branding of Muslims over the past couple of years, especially post 9/11, you felt it if you were that.

Yeah, y'all took the L for that, huh? Yeah, for a while. Did y'all do it?

“I think we took the L in it, certainly, just Muslims in America, but did you guys”

do it, do you think? Or, but did, I'm sorry, let me find out, just a whole podcast is leading up to, did you

I'm like, yo, you know me, you probably have on the store, you know I didn't do 9/11,

though. You're right, my bad, too. So this has just been like a honey trap the whole time, just to get to this. Yeah, sorry dude, I gave Canada someone's my like, we're remote control, she's got me today.

No, no, but do you, yeah, what is that like, like, just like, even having any like your parents are from like the Middle East, right, your parents are from Afghanistan, yeah. What is it, like, what is that like, I don't know? You know what it's like, it's kind of, I mean, I had this joke about that. Because I can be changing if it's not true, like if some of that's like, I don't

know, I feel like it's not, I don't know.

“I think it is changing, with the internet and social media, you can't paint people with”

these broad strokes that you use to back in the day because there was only certain channels that you can get information from and it can be controlled very easily. And people who just buy into a narrative that like be scared of Muslims, be scared of Latinos, be scared of, but then there's TikTok and there's all these, there's so much information now that people can form their own opinions.

But yeah, it was dicey for a while because every time there was a, you know, 9/11, the temperature was, if you happen to be that, you felt it, you know, I went out fly. I would be secondary search and I grew up a boy meets world in TGIF. I'm just as American. I watched it, say by the bell, but you just happen to look a certain way or, and there's

nothing you could do about it.

I always say it's, I said the joke where it's being a minority is kind of like having

a wager as you can never take off. That's kind of what it feels like because I'm sure people American, the white Americans have been to say you're a Rams fan and then you go to, I don't know who their rival is. Probably see hoax. All right.

Yeah. Then you go to a Seahawks game in your Rams jersey. You're going to get some flack, but you're still you, you're still dug, you're a nice guy. You're dug from a county and they're spitting on you and you go, nah, I just happen to be wearing this right.

I can't take it off. It's bolted on. I should be a saw movie, just you can't take the Rams jersey off at your rival team and

they just beat the shit out of you.

So you're just a human in a pure soul and all that, but you happen to have this coding that gets taken a certain way. So I don't know. Maybe that's how I perceive it. Yeah.

Yeah.

“I think I'm just curious about that sometimes.”

Then yeah. Maybe like the media like made it like these people are bad people kind of. It's definitely a tool. I think it's leverage for some agenda sometimes, but I don't automatically just need your go to that.

Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I think people have our generally pretty nice people and, but yeah, for sure. You know, I'm just kind of curious because sometimes you just start to think like, I think

you look back at the world like your lifetime, you're like, what things are like? We land on the moon, what things really happen. I think a lot of people are like a series. The most space I've ever seen in my life, like people are coming up to me and like movie theaters and shit and fucking like asking me about shit about fucking a Nepal or like

to a bad whatever it's like, oh, we all have to be experts now, there's just so much information and then we're learning, we've been lied to and so many instances.

“And then you go, if you'll go down a rabbit, it's like, if this, then if this, then what?”

And then you keep on, you hear, you see this tweet, you see this video, you see this TikTok and then the Epstein stuff is still going and then all birds going AI and then this shorting the stock and all that stuff, what's going on these time, these time things with the stock market, your brain gets overloaded, you know, there's so much, how can I know, you get paralyzed, but yeah, and then you try to calm down and then you're fucking

it's hard to get away from, from the intrusive thoughts, dude. You know, man, well, full circle, full circle, um, for him, dude, thanks so much, bro. Uh, yeah, I hope you just continue to, obviously, do what you were obviously built to do, bro. There's nobody that doesn't like you and, um, yeah, I hope people love the new special

intrusive thoughts and we'll make sure to share stuff about it and yeah, to thanks to your patience, dude. I appreciate it. Oh, of course, man. Yeah, anytime, thank you for having me.

I'm glad we got to do this. This is fun, dude. Sorry if I talked about too much serious stuff. No, not at all. You know, just trying to be alive for sharing, doing our best.

Yeah, well, they let us, bro. BLM, dude. [BLANK_AUDIO]