John Cusack rides his Vespa straight into our hearts

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR news quiz.

“I'm out those slayed, filling in for Bill Curtis, who flew to LA to accept the Oscar for Best Pites.”

And here's your host at the Student Baker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Peter, say go. You're welcome. Thank you all so especially for filling in for Bill, who will be back with us next week. Thanks you all for being here at our beautiful home theater.

We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Chicago's own legendary actor John Cusack. It is a big get, right? To book 'em on the show, I had to go stand on his front lawn holding a boom box over my head playing our theme song.

But first, it's your turn to say anything on our quiz, give us a call. The number is 1 AAA, wait, wait, that's 1 8 8 8 9 2 4 8 9 2 4. Let's welcome our first listener contestant, how you are on wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Jen Crowley from Rosal, Illinois. Hey, Rosal, where is that exactly?

Oh, you know, just about a half hour away from you. Yeah, well, I'm a Chicago guy, as far as I know, that's it.

I don't live in Illinois, I've never heard of it.

What do you do nearby here? I own a dog grooming salon in boutique. Wow, I imagine dealing with the dogs as much easier than dealing with the dog's owners. Yes, that's typically true. I imagine, yes.

Welcome to the show, Jen, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the host of Boy Room on TikTok and Instagram. It's Rachel Costa. Rachel, hi, how's it going? Next, it's the co-host of the bot gas nobody listens to ball of pound stone, which

this week celebrated its 400th episode with a guide for new listeners. It's Adam Felbert. Hi, there, Jen. Hey. And a comedian whose album Yel-Joy is available through blonde medicine and her special

Yel-Joy is on peacock. It's Joyel Nicole Johnson. Hey, Jen. Hey. So, Jen, welcome, you're going to play who's also this time.

Also, Slay is going to read for you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose on your voice smell. You ready to go? Ready to go?

All right, your first quote is a travel advisory for college students this week.

Everything that can go wrong will go wrong right now. That was from a travel expert talking about the problems college students and others are facing when flying to what annual ritual. That would be spring break. Yes, spring break is broken.

Thanks to a bunch of factors including long TSA lines due to the partial government shutdowns. Spring break travel has become a nightmare. It takes so long to get to your beach resort. You barely have time to blackout before it's time to go home.

“I think the spring breaker should cheer up.”

I mean, there's so many positives to being in the frozen north during spring break. Yeah. It's much easier to clean frozen vomit. You need to sort of chip it away. That's a good point.

And you can go to those clubs where you scream for people to put on more clothes. Yeah. I almost feel bad for this generation, you know, because they had to go through Zoom school

and then prom with social distance and now they can't go to Mexico and get their first

STD. Yeah, I know. And get you almost feel bad for them. It would be terrible if all those disasters combined into one and they had to get their STD remotely over Zoom.

Yeah. I find that if you do enough molly, you can find your beach basically anywhere. Even at your neighbor's basement or something. Whatever it takes. I believe that was Molly's original slogan before Corona stole it.

That's great. Yeah.

“Were you guys big spring breakers when you were in school of that age?”

I did it. I went to Trinidad once carnival and that was super duper fun. But what happened was I didn't do any research before I went and the people I was staying with had cats and I am definitely allergic and I found that out the day I was going. So I had to bring my nebulizer because I have asthma.

So I spent all of spring break and Trinidad have doing a nebulizer, have dancing across the stage with paint all over my face. It was a great time. So you had to like the nebulizer in one hand, the drink in the other and you just got the alternating.

Yeah. That's a party. So B-18 again. Yeah. Alright.

Your next vote, Jen, is the president of the United States talking to Marco Rubio about a gift he just gave him. It helps to be told. They've got big heels. The president was talking about a gift which we found out this week he gives to all his top

male staffers.

It's shoes. It is shoes.

“The Wall Street Journal broke a big story this week.”

The president really loves a particular kind of dress shoe. So he's been giving them out to all the men who work with him. And this is true. He doesn't ask their sizes for this.

He just looks and guesses and they never correct him.

So because of this and this is all true I swear to you, people started looking and so all this week we've been seeing photos of his cabinet secretaries and senior aides sitting there next to him wearing the shoes, all looking like little kids who are dressing like their dad. Part of the reason they look so uncomfortable is because they also have to wear the mandatory

toe ring that he slipped in. Yeah. They're all squeezed in there. Now the exception of all this was Secretary of State Marco Rubio didn't look like that. He was photographed sitting in one of the shoes as he rode it across the potatoes.

A little Marco. Well, you know, if he hadn't gotten it for them they would have bought them for themselves. Right. You know, because like they're all wearing bronzer now. Yeah.

Everybody's orange. Yeah. It's like there was a photograph.

They're all wearing the same shoes.

They're all wearing the same suit and they're all wearing the same long red tie. Yeah. It's like the world's worst backup band. I will say that RFK Jr seemed to be the only one who looked like he was wearing really nicely fitted black leather shoes, but on closer inspection that just turned out to be his feet.

Oh. That's only because he didn't take the vaccine for toe fungus. Yeah. My feet are better that way. Jen, for your last quote, it's an actor who seemed like he was cruising to an Oscar this

weekend. No one cares about opera and ballet anymore. I'll respect to the ballet and opera people out there. So the backlash to that disc of opera and ballet, all of a sudden seems to have put this actor's Oscar in doubt who is it?

I might need a hint. Well, let's see.

“I mean, he doesn't think of opera and ballet or his important and culturally significant”

as say movies about ping pong players. Oh. I'm afraid I am no idea. Oh. Or chocolateier.

Oh, you're really about there. Yeah. Jen, I am. Shella's girl. You're protecting your feet.

Oh. I was stunned my time listening to NDR. Well, that's not true. No. I'll give it to you.

It's Timothy Shalame, the star of Marty Supreme seemed pretty much on track to win a best actor Oscar, but then he really pissed off the opera and ballet people with that comment. We're moved from a guy whose own name sounds like a ballet move. Yeah.

Clea, relive, a, Shalame. Yeah. I tore a hamstring doing a Shalame once. Yeah. You gotta be young, you gotta be young and flexible to Shalame.

He said this. He was talking to Matthew McConaughey of all people about how he did not want movies to come become irrelevant like ballet and opera. This brought an enormous clapback from people like Isabelle Leonard and Sean Tester.

And many others that let us be honest, you have never heard of it.

It's my personal opinion that Timothy is beefing with his sister and mother right now. Turns out, yeah, they both have this strong background in dance. Yes.

“So that's why he threw that shot like that, because he said it after he's like I'm throwing”

shots and I was like, oh, he must be beefing with his sister right now to say something that crazy, because I don't want to do brain surgery either. Like, what are you talking about? Oh, you don't want to do ballet and opera. You can't.

You can't. Yeah. Yeah. I mean opera fans, especially when you're making a huge ruckus and by that, I mean their medical or bracelet's just beat because if an elevated heart rate helps us on the

way. Also, how did Jen do in our quiz? Jen, respectfully, got two out of three. You won. You won.

Congratulations, Jen. Thank you. Thank you. [ Music ] Right now, Pamela, that is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Joel, this week we heard about something every whole foods secretly has somewhere inside. What is it? It's called no. [ Laughter ] Is this a food item?

You're not a food item. It's a place. It's kind of a facility in every whole food. Oh, so it's not a stealth octopus. Oh, I mean, a more.

[ Laughter ] That's not right. That's not right. That's not right.

Because I do cruise ships against my will and every cruise ship has a more and I found this out. Right. Did you all know that? But that's because cruise ships are often, let's see, for a week or two or even more.

And whole foods, people are not in a whole foods for an entire week. So, they wouldn't need a more. But they do need another kind of sort of a storage facility for people. It's what they do with you. If, for example, you dare to get an organic banana,

“but only key in the code for the conventional banana at the self-scanner.”

Oh. They take you and they put you a little jail. A little jail. Every whole food has a jail. Oh.

There's a secret windowless room in every whole foods that they call the whole foods jail. According to a new investigation, by curved every store has one. No one can talk about it. So, think about this, people.

Before you commit any jackfruit-related crime. Before you jack a jackfruit. Right. This is true. After stealing a brownie from the bakery island of Whole Foods,

one person found herself in a room wallpaper with, quote, "layers and layers of grainy faces of all the thieves that had come before me." [ Laughter ] unquote. Her photo was added to a binder.

She was fine.

300 dollars until never to return.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. 300 dollars wasn't the fine. It was the price of the brownie. Right. [ Laughter ]

“Interestingly, cruise ships don't have jails.”

It's just easy to kill you. Yeah, no. [ Laughter ] [ Music ] Coming up, it's a bluff.

The listener game. Three decades in the making. Really, call one triple eight weight weight to play. It will be back in a minute with more weight weight, don't tell me from NPR.

[ Music ] From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is weight weight. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Joyo Nicole Johnson,

Rachel Costa and Adam Felbert. And here again is your host at the Student Baker Theatre and Chicago Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you Alzo. [ Applause ]

Thank you so much to everybody. [ Applause ] Right now, it's time for the weight weight don't tell me. Blust the listener game. Call one triple eight weight to play our game in the air.

High your weight weight don't tell me. Hi, this is Tara calling from Boise Idaho.

Boise Idaho, a place I've never been.

What do you do there? I am a registered dietitian. I work at a small hospital and I do tell a health from home when I'm not managing kids and family. Well, that's important.

I'm a father of two young children and as a dietitian and a parent, I have a question. Were you actually able to get your kids to eat healthy food? Actually, yes. How did you do it?

Threats? So Peter, it takes at least 12 exposures to a new food for children to often even try them. So if I do this and we get to the 13th try,

“I can be like, no, Tara said you have to eat it now.”

[ Laughter ] Yes, yes. You've done your duty. You forget it. Okay, great.

Good luck. I'm not on that. I'll try it as soon as I get home. Thank you so much, Tara, for that advice. Well, it's great to have you with us.

You're going to play our game on which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is Tara's topic? Thirty years in the making. So this week, we read about someone meeting a rather extraordinary

goal that they spent 30 years working on. And I'm not talking about me keeping this job despite being completely unqualified. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one telling the truth and you'll win the weight

weight of your choice and your voice melody. You're ready to play.

Yeah. Okay, first let's hear from Joy Ellen Nicole Johnson.

Joyce and David said Claire of Stone Mountain Georgia were married in the old the days, 1996. [ Laughter ] Most couples freeze their wedding cake and eat another one year anniversary.

However, Joyce and David had to move overseas before their celebration. So, for safekeeping, they put their cake in a cold storage facility in Georgia aptly named Frosty to storage man.

Years later, when they returned to the states, they found Frosty had gone bankrupt. And everything in its freezes had vanished. When their daughter Nikki came away, she found herself obsessed with the cake mystery.

And in a year's long search, she finally solved it. The cake had been moved to a bunker in Alaska after being mistaken for nuclear waste. [ Laughter ]

She flew to Alaska and after proving to the soldier manning the bunker that the cake wasn't dangerous to mankind. She was able to bring it home. Surprisingly, the cake tasted the exact same way

it did 30 years prior. Turns out, vanilla really does just mean tasteless. [ Laughter ] A wedding cake lost for 30 years finally enjoyed by the happy couple.

Your next story of a 30-year plan comes from Adam Felbert. Ever since he was a young man in the 70s,

in Mobile Alabama with his family. But sometime in the 90s, that love became an obsession of sorts.

“And that obsession's name was Free Oysters.”

See, there was a sign on the wall. Free Oysters to any man 80 years old accompanied by his father. The rush has took note the years passed and the family moved away,

but always visited on their way to Mardi Gras

and still that sign haunted him. Until this week, when on his 80th birthday, Jimmy walked in with his dad and a large group to claim their prize was it worth it?

You bet your ass, it was again. Free Oysters, the bartender and the staff were stunned. Never thought about any birthday except my 80th Jimmy says. But the story's not over. His brother Carl added,

quote, "We will be back to do this all over again in 2028 when I turn 80. My dad says he's going to make it and that's good enough for me." Amen.

Wait, 30 years to get his free oysters

“by bringing his dad to celebrate his 80th birthday.”

Your last story of three decades of determination comes from Rachel Costa. In a feat of athletic prowess that his wife was calling annoying and dumb, local men, Neil Schafer, 51 of mass buzz in New York

successfully completed a five-second unassisted cake stand in his garage last Saturday. Schafer's obsession started during his junior year of college when his flat brother Mikey Lambrusko challenged the then out of shape boy

to an unassisted handstand on a cake of bud light. He struggled for a few attempts before giving up. But it was humiliating to watch said Lambrusko. Since then, Schafer had been determined to achieve his dream putting more effort into this than pretty much anything else

in his life. On Saturday, he gathered his family next to his Honda Civic in the garage and accomplished the impossible. I was worried he was going to pass out or puke in front of the kid.

So I'm glad he just didn't do that. She had his wife Shannon. I've accomplished my biggest dream

“such a favor, drinking bad beer upside down.”

All right, here are your choices. Somebody waited 30 years to do something. What was it? Was it from Joyelle Nicole Johnson? A couple that waited 30 years before they could celebrate

an anniversary by eating some of their wedding cake. From Adam Thelber, a guy who waited 30 years to get free oysters by going into an oyster bar at the age of 80 with his dad with him. Or from Rachel Costa, a guy who spent 30 years practicing

but finally did that kegstand he couldn't do in college. Which of these is the real story? We found in the news. I'm going to have to go with Adam's story about the oysters. We go with Adam's story about the man.

We got three oysters by showing up at the age of 80 with his 99-year-old dad. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who covered this real story. They went to Katzen, the sign that the free oysters

to any man, 80 years old, a few guys father. That was Joseph Lemore, a food reporter at the Today Show talking about the oyster special that was finally claimed. Congratulations, Tara. You got it right here to point for Adam just to be telling a story in a convincing way.

And you've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voice mail. Well done. Congratulations, Tara. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks so much. Take care. Thank you. Bye-bye.

And now the game where we ask famous people about obscure things. We call it not my job. John Cuseck made his first movie a short about managing life in high school when he was still a student at Evanston Township High School, North of Chicago.

Wow.

From that amazing start, he went on to star

in some of the iconic movies of the last 40 years. High fidelity, the grifters, being John Malkovich, Huttub, time machine and, of course, say anything. He still lives here in Chicago. And now he's written his first graphic novel,

John Cuseck. Welcome to Wait wait notes on. Thank you. It's pretty excited to see you. Thanks for having me. I have a habit when I'm talking to actors with astonishing

new long and very careers, like yours, of asking what role they're most recognized for. But since I started this show with a say anything joke, do people like ask you to, like, either pretend to hold a moon box up, like Lloyd did

in the movie or do they ever do that to you? I know I haven't had them do it to me, but they have asked me to hold it up, but I tell them I only do that at parties. (audience laughs)

But yeah, but there's been a strong reaction to that character, at times. And there, but there are no boom boxes anymore, so they just ask you to hold their iPhone up. Yeah.

So I told my wife that you were going to be in the show,

and I saw a look in her face I've never seen before,

and she's like, "John Cuseck, really?" And she told me that your character Lloyd holding that boom box just absolutely blew her way,

and I pulled all the women I know, and they all agreed.

“Well, as I said, people like that character in that film,”

a lot, which is pretty cool. Lloyd, they still do some screenings of the movie, and we do a Q&A afterwards, and people get pretty rowdy, which is fun, and a guy came up to the mic right over there,

and he said, "My wife left me because she said I wasn't you." (audience laughs) Now, I sort of had to look at your face. (audience laughs) Well, you're thinking about my look, and you're a look,

I'm thinking about that look, my wife gave me, I mentioned earlier. (audience laughs) Do you want to go home? Sorry, but I got to go, guys.

But the gentleman stopped, and then he said, "And I want to thank you from the bottom." (audience laughs) (audience laughs) So he literally dropped the mic,

and I thought that kind of covers the whole camera. (audience laughs) I know this is a very tough question. I was thinking about your movie career. I know I have a favorite movie of yours,

which in my case would be being John Nowke, which do you have a favorite? All the ones you've done, and I know there are a lot in a lot of great ones. You know, I sort of think back on them,

and they're sort of like a little bit of a fever dream, and some of the ones that I wrote, and Chris points blank. Yeah, that's a great one. (audience applauds)

I think just because that kind of black comedy you've done that much. That's the movie, in which you play a hitman, who goes back to his, if I'm not mistaken, 10th high school reunion?

I think it was 10th high school reunion. And I'm told that that was inspired by you, actually attending your own high school reunion, and then Evanston? Yes.

And you were like, "So there you're back, and you're, by that time, a very accomplished and well known actor." And did you really say to yourself, and discuss with your collaborators in the film,

you know, be really cool if I was a hitman? I thought to myself, I wrote a script and I said, "Well, if we get funding for this,

“that's the only way I'll go to my 10 year high school reunion."”

Really? As a research? Yes. Oh, wow. I didn't think we'd get the funding, but then we did, so I had to go. I thought you were going to say you were inspired

after going to your high school reunion, because when you went there, you were like, "I can't stand any of these movies." (audience laughs) What this place needs is a hitman.

(audience laughs) You still live here in Chicago, where you grew up, which I think is great. And that is not a choice that a lot of people who get very successful in the entertainment business make.

Why do you just stay here or come back, perhaps? Have you been to LA? I have. (audience laughs) (audience applauds)

Yeah, I guess we don't really need to talk about that anymore. (audience laughs) And I love this. You get around Chicago by scooter. It's true.

When you're writing up and down in your scooter, do people ever pull up to you in division, and look at you and go, "Hey, it's John Q. Say." Yeah, everyone's sort of wow. Yeah, in a car.

Yeah. And this is a car. They're going to be cool about it, right? Everyone's so cool about it. (audience laughs)

Yeah.

They're basically, they just go, "Oh, hey."

(audience laughs) And I love them. I heard this. I might get you resistant in trouble because we were talking about low-wence John getting.

Here, he's coming in his vespas. And you told me that your vespas, which is a beautiful old Italian scooter,

“runs on gasoline, but not very much at a time, right?”

It's got a small gas tank. And so, she told me you have like a bottle filled with gasoline. That might be true. Although that might be too much information from motherland. They're like, "Hey, give it out."

(audience laughs) But, okay, so you're writing around your vespas. And you're like, "Oh, I don't need gas." Reach into the pocket, pull out the bottle, which is good.

I don't even know if what I'm doing is legal. But, yeah, it sounded. Yeah. Peter, you're a smick. I know.

(audience laughs) You've written a graphic novel. I grew up reading this kind of graphic novel. Very big in Europe. In your case, this graphic novel is about 300 pages long,

and it features sex violence, drugs, aliens, Jackie Gleason, and a plot centered around the very real French avant-garde artist and philosopher Antonine Artobe. So, you've sold out and gone mainstream.

(audience laughs) Well, just think of metaphysical crime, movie mixed with a kind of a drug-muel movie mixed with ET. So, I think French connection meets ET. Right.

meets my dinner with Andre, meets Smokey in the Bandit. Yeah. meets the Mike Douglas Show. Right. Another of those?

Yes. (audience laughs) All right. God, I can't. It's the same to see an actor.

But I'm a shelf worker. Because I'm so derivative. (audience laughs) Well, the origin of it was I loved this artist, our child. And then I thought, well, it's no one is going,

no one's going to give me money to make that movie yet. Yeah. But if I write a graphic novel,

I always believe in the possibility of possible.

Sure. It's pretty funny and very bizarre, and I recommend it to everybody. Oh, thank you. It's really something.

Thank you for reading it. Oh, my pleasure.

I know speaking for myself. I could talk to you all day, but we have business to do. John Cusack, oh, we are thrilled to have you here, and we have invited you here to play a game we're calling.

Say nothing. (audience laughs) As we discussed, you started the iconic movie, say anything, so we thought we'd ask you about people who should have kept their mouths shut.

(audience laughs) And it's your tour to the three questions about some unwise statements you'll win our prize one of our listeners.

“Also, who is the legendary John Cusack playing for?”

Jill Farrell of Beaverton, Oregon. All right. I'll give you my best for you, Jill. Here you go.

Here's your first question.

Gerald Ratner was the head of Ratner's great Britain's largest jewelry store chain. When he unfortunately called his own company's products "Crap, how did he try to undo the damage?" Was it A, by trying to convince people

that crap was a slang word he learned from his kids that meant really great. (audience laughs) B, by having all his company's stores put up a sign in the window saying,

"What we mean by crap, cheap, reliable, "and affordable prices," or "see" by saying, "producing crap is a universal part of the human experience." (audience laughs) I'm going to follow the wisdom of the good and great

Jason Benettis. Yes. And all last week. Always pick me. And you and Jason are right.

(audience laughs) His plan was a good of a sign saying, "That means cheap, reliable, and affordable prices." It did not work. (audience laughs)

“And he had to step down from the company”

and to this day, according to these one source,

we found in the United Kingdom saying something really stupid and self-destructive for no reason is still called pulling a ratner. (audience laughs) Wow.

That was really good. Here's your next question. Right. In 2005, former French president Jacques Chirac caused a diplomatic incident with a UK

when he made a comment who Vladimir Putin that was called on a hot mic. What did he say about the British? A, you can't trust people who cook as badly as that. (audience laughs)

He, look, they were once conquered by us. How tough can they be? Or see, they think they're all Winston Churchill, but they're really just Benny Hill. (audience laughs)

Now, here's a problem. Yeah. Can I say what I want to pick? I want to make sure that this is your game.

I want it to be seen, but I think it's a.

And you're right, it was a, yeah. (audience laughs) Of course, it's French. Of course, it's good on the top there cooking. He also is French, and he's not gonna know who Benny Hill is.

Exactly, also true. He also said on the same hot mic incident

“that the only thing the British had contributed”

to agriculture was Mad Cow disease. (audience laughs) So you're doing really well. Here's your last question. A lot of sports broadcasts, I know you know,

make the crowd as well as the announcers and sometimes it can backfire. As at a lacrosse game between Sacred Heart University and Santa College last year, when the mic picked up one Santa fan yelling what

that made the ESPN broadcast. Was it A? We wish we were watching football, (audience laughs) be stabbed them in the Sacred Heart.

(audience laughs) Or see, Sacred Heart has diarrhea. (audience laughs) Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. I mean, I want all of you to be really good. Different sections doing different shants, you know. I think based on the state of America, it must be C.

It is C, yeah. (audience laughs) I think he said. (audience laughs) The last part.

(audience laughs) The chant from a Sienna fan who found the mic and ran up to it and yelled into it, it was hard to make out, but hopefully, one of the ESPN announcers said,

they're chanting Sacred Heart has diarrhea. (audience laughs) I'm sure he got a bonus stat. He did. Also, how did John Cusack do in our quiz?

He said something. He got three out of three. He's a winner. (audience applauds) Yeah.

(audience applauds) John Cusack is an actor, writer, and producer, his new graphic novel. Momo is available now. He's also a proud Chicago guy.

John Cusack, thank you so much for joining us. (audience applauds) Thank you so much. (audience applauds) God, Cusack, everybody.

(audience applauds) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) In just a minute, we'll feel the churn in our listener-limber challenge game

called "What's Up A Late Way" to join you in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." From NPR.

(upbeat music) From NPR and WBE. (audience applauds) This is "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." The NPR news quiz.

I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Adam Felbert.

(upbeat music)

Joyo Nicole Johnson and Rachel Custer.

And here again is your host. (audience applauds) At the student record theater in Chicago, Illinois. (audience applauds)

(upbeat music) (audience applauds) (upbeat music) (audience applauds) St. Patrick's Day.

(audience applauds) St. Patrick's Day. (audience applauds) (upbeat music) (audience applauds)

St. Patrick's Day. (audience applauds) (upbeat music) (audience applauds) St. Patrick's Day.

(audience applauds) (audience applauds) (audience applauds) If you'd like to play, give us a call. One triple-late, wait, wait.

That's one, 888-9248-924.

“Right now, panel, some more questions for you”

from the week's news. Rachel, this week, the New York Times reported on a growing epidemic of extremely unflattering photos of women taken by whom?

The men in their lives. The men in their lives. Yes, their boyfriends and husbands. Yes. You've all seen one of these boyfriends photos.

Other ones that make the women say finally. I know what my face would look like without bones. (audience laughs) So the latest thing is women on TikTok and Instagram are sharing horrific photos

that their husbands or boyfriends took of them. The actor Kerry Washington, for example, posted a bunch of them and said, "I thought I looked pretty, "then I opened my husband's camera roll." (audience laughs)

I don't trust straight men to take pictures. They're not the eye. I don't know. Y'all don't never know. The camera angle be all the way down here.

It's blurry, I'm backlit. I don't trust it. You gotta get you a good, gay man. It's take a picture girl. You can be nice and glossy.

So when you and your boyfriends, do I know and like when you're out like on the town,

you always bring a gay friend to do the photography?

Oh, no, he's queer. He takes a beautiful picture. Okay. You know, I find that so offensive and accurate. Yeah.

And tip straight men. High angles. High angles, right? Yeah. Lookin' down.

Lookin' down. and the balcony, and shoot me. - But why do you all keep asking us to take a moment? - I don't care. - I don't care. - I don't care. - I don't care.

- I don't care. - I don't care. - There's no one else there. We're not allowed to invite our friends over anymore, because they're annoying. - Yeah. - That felt personal. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- Sorry, my friends are annoying. - Adam, this week we learned about a new problem of threatening many marriages. People are starting to speak out about the struggle of being married to a what?

- Okay, the struggle being married to a what? - This is not a problem when both of you are like this. It's more of a problem when just one is. - Somebody works at home. - No, I'll give you a hint.

“You should have known when they wanted to get married”

at space mountain. - Disney fan? - Disney adult. - Yeah. - Right. - The adult Disney fan.

And an article in New York Magazine this week exasperated spouses shared the struggles of being married to a Disney adult when they are not one. - If you haven't heard of a Disney adult before. - That was about to, yeah.

- Yeah, Disney adult, it's basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough as a child. And I've known some, these are adults who were really, really into Disney. - Oh, I know some, right? - You know some too.

And like I said, two Disney adults, marry each other, find each other, that's great. Gagazint, enjoy your life.

The problem is one of them keeps it a secret

after they're married, right? - Oh, yeah. - You marry somebody, you think they're normal. Then one night they say, "Oh, come in, I have a surprise for you." And you go in and they're lying on the bed wearing the ears.

(audience laughing) - And not on their head. (audience laughing) - Worst moment of my first marriage. (audience laughing)

- The first. - Can you keep that a secret though? - That's correct. - That's, I mean, like, can you, from a courtship through marriage? - Yeah. - That's tricky.

How do you keep that a secret though? - Yeah, 'cause that builds all your credit card every year. - Yeah. - That's a big deal. - It's weird, you know, like they disappear for like long weekends and, you know.

- You're like, "I wish you were cheating on me." - Yeah, no, no, there we just, yeah, you can screen your dates before you make the mistake of marrying a Disney person. You know, you could just be like,

"Just throw out in conversation, I know." - Just throw it out, just do what happens. - You can't say that to a woman. - You can't say that to a black woman. (audience laughing)

- You can't say that to a black woman. (audience laughing) (upbeat music) - Coming up, it's lightning film of playing,

“but first it's the game where you have to listen”

for the rhyme, if you'd like to play on air, call it a leave a message, you'll one trip a late wait wait, that's 1888-924-892-4. You can come see us most weeks here at the Student Baker Theater in downtown Chicago,

and catch us on the road, we will be in beautiful Savannah, Georgia on March 26th, and in San Diego on April 30th, for tickets and information to all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on wait wait, don't tell me.

- Hi, my name is Katie York, I'm a resident, Edrick Maryland.

- About a half hour ahead of Baltimore.

“- And Baltimore, Baltimore is a fun city, do you enjoy it there?”

- I do. - Yeah, what is your favorite thing about Baltimore? - Ooh, it has lots of cues from. Probably some of the sweet flake, it has your snow cones and burgers, chocolate cookies.

- Oh yeah, there's your right thing. Well, welcome to our show, Katie. Also, Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis this week, is going to read you three news-related lyrics with the last word of phrase missing for me,

if you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly, and two of the lyrics will be a winner. Are you ready to play? - Yep, ready. - Here is your first lemric.

- I run to lie weas and I sputter. Heavy cream in this bag goes a flutter. My legs and arms turn and I act like a turn. And I run, I am making some butter. - Yes, butter, if you are tired of your exercise

routine failing to create any butter, we have good news. - Oh, good, finally. - A runner went viral this week when she shared how you, yes, you can share in butter while running. You just pour heavy cream into a ziplock bag

and then, quote, "secure the bag inside your running vest." It's pretty simple. Although not as simple as running to the store. (audience laughs) Peter, you're a runner, you can try this.

- Oh, I'm never in my life, but I'm really,

I'm thinking about it because how great would it be

“to like finish a, you know, grueling 15-mile training run?”

And right then, I could refresh myself with some nice thick butter. (audience laughs) - If you're just like jogging, does it only turn into whipped cream? - Yeah, I think so.

(audience laughs) Here is your next limer. Watching videos loudly will spread groans. It makes passenger anger hit red zones. Now, United's new rules will not suffer those fools.

They can't fly if they're not using headphones, yes. The United Airlines announced that they will now kick you off your flight, or even ban you from the airline forever. If you listen to music or watch TV and the flight without headphones, yeah.

- Yes! (audience cheers and applauds) - I feel like one of the best parts of flying is like watching your neighbors TV or listening to whatever the listening to on audio book.

- Really? - Yeah, sometimes I forget to bring stuff from, I run out of charge or halfway through, and it's nice to just that someone else provides. - It is, it is, it is a rule of human behavior

“that what somebody else is watching on the airplane”

is far more interesting than what you're watching. - Yeah, right, the rate is on the plane. It's not to be with headphones off. - Say, you're being like selfish, right now. (audience laughs)

- This sounds, it does not like United behavior. It sounds like spirit behavior. (audience laughs) I can't believe it. I'm the type of person, I'll say something to you.

This is why I can't ride the subway in New York 'cause I will get to a fight. Like, it's my biggest pet peeve if somebody is listening to something without-- - What do you say, please?

- Stop! (audience laughs) Okay, what's wrong with you? All right, here is your last limerick. - After much is and chies that it bought her.

Here's a new trend, the internet taught her. It helps her digest and there's less to invest. She just boils and drinks some hot. - Walker? - Water, drinking hot water in the morning

is the new internet hack for gut health. People say hot water in the morning can help speed your digestion that's particularly true if the hot water has coffee in it. (audience laughs)

- We really are in a recession. - Really, I. (audience laughs) - We're going to say hot water is the perfect drink if you want to rid yourself of toxins

and quote, "deep bloke." - That's weird. - You started doing this? - You started drinking hot water in the morning. - Yeah.

- What's it doing for you? - I wanna tell everybody, okay. (audience laughs) - But yeah, yeah, really. This is a different, something about it,

but the Asian girl is told me to do it

and they look amazing, so it's amazing.

Anything makes that. - Right. - Yeah. - If they told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?

- Let's end this. - Okay. (audience laughs) I also had a Katie doing our quiz. They got three out of three winners.

(audience cheers and applauds) - Well done, Katie. Congratulations. - Thank you. (audience applauds)

- Now, we're on to our final game, Lightning Film, the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many film on the Blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer is worth two points. Also, can you give us the scores? - Absolutely.

(audience laughs) - New it.

“- Joyo, don't laugh too much because you have two.”

- Ow. - And Adam has a whopping 5 points. - What's it? - What's it? - Oh, that ain't right.

- Can you see it? - All right, that means Rachel, yes. - You're in third place, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question.

Film on the Blank on Tuesday, the Pentagon reported that the war with Blank

had already cost $11 billion.

- Iran. - On Sunday, police confirmed that an explosive device was thrown outside the home of New York Mayor Blank. - Mombani. - Right, thanks to Verizon Columnser for people under 50.

More experts say the recommended age to start getting Blank's could be lower. Yes, during severe storms on Tuesday, several states reported softball size Blank. - Turn it tail.

- Yes, tail. Softball size free. (laughing) - Oh, that's normal. - This week, a man was arrested at an airport in Kenya

after he was caught smuggling Blank. - A dead monkey. - No, 2000 live ants. On Wednesday, astronomers reported that they may have witnessed two Blank's colliding.

- Astroids. - No planets. On Tuesday, officials at NASA's mission to the Blank would likely face more delays. - Then.

- Right, this week, a Russian man

who'd been away from his apartment for three years returned to find Blank, living there. - Uh, an old friend. - No, hundreds and hundreds of pigeons.

- But not as good. - They came in through a window. He had left open before he left. And if you've ever seen the sidewalk beneath a highway over past, pick your that, but everything you own.

Sometimes all you can do is back slowly out of the front door and say it was a good home. But it belongs to the pigeons now. (laughing) - Alzo, how did Rachel do in our quiz?

- It did pretty good. - You got five, right, for ten more points, with a good turn, a total of 11. - Right, all right, that was very good. (applause)

- Go I hell. - Go I hell, you're up next. - Go! (laughing) - Here we go.

This week, industry analyst said the average Blank prices could soon rise above $4 a gallon. - Milk. (laughing) - Gas prices.

- This week, a medical trial found a pill that can improve Blank by 50% without a CPAP machine. Sleep, sleep, snoring, cushion. I'll give it to you, sleep, sleep, sleep, yeah.

According to new research, taking a daily Blank may slow the aging process. - Pill. (laughing) (laughing)

- Sure, what the hell. - Multi-bidiment, on Wednesday to line up for the MMA fight at the Blank was revealed. - That's the quick one. - I know the White House officials in Georgia

are asking parents to double check when they're backing their kids lunches since one elementary school student accidentally brought Blank as a drink for lunch. - Oh, it was like alcohol, cooler or something like that.

- It was like martini. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The canned lemon drop martini looked exactly like a soda. So the mistake was understandable.

The martini was taken from the student

before he could become the coolest kid in the third grade.

- But he's able to give his jar of blue cheese olives and his pack of smokes. (laughing) - I also know how to enjoy hell doing our quiz. - That's it, did I?

- Yeah. (laughing) (laughing) - That's it, got three right for six more points. The total of eight, which means Rachel is still in the lead.

- Yeah, all right. (laughing)

“- How many then does Adam need to slip up and take it from her?”

- Three to tie four to win. - All right, Adam, this is for the game. We filmed a blank on Sunday, most tobacco. How many was named the new Supreme Leader of blank? - It ran.

- Right, according to new data, the U.S. economy lost 92,000 blanks in February. - Yeah. - Right, with Michigan confirming their first case of 2026 on Monday, the spread of blank continues.

- Measle, right, according to new data, adult blank use reached a record low in 2024? (laughing) - Phone? - No, cigarette use.

This week a man had a fishing tournament in Texas was arrested after he was caught blanking. (laughing) - Suggling fish. - No, after he was caught putting weights inside,

the fish he caught to cheat at a tournament. - Awesome. (laughing) On Thursday, Netflix confirmed it had green lit a sequel to the hit animated film blank.

- Oh, the K-pop demon hunt. That's the one on Thursday, Apple began selling their news, $600 blank. - Shirt. (laughing)

(laughing)

“- Yeah, I believe it if they were, but it's a laptop.”

This week, the mayor of a town of Texas who thought he was running for reelection on a pose was shocked when blank entered the race. His mom, no, a candidate named, quote, literally anybody else.

(laughing) - A bear. (laughing) - Here you go. The new candidate who had his name legally changed

is shaking up the race for mayor in North Richland Hills, Texas.

“That said, he may also face an uphill battle”

as the race now is the third candidate, someone named,

that one guy from that commercial, you know, you love that guy. (laughing) How's it, did Adam do well enough to win? - Well, he got four right for eight more points,

the total of 13, which gives him one more point than Rachel and the win. - Wow, I would like to share this, you know? (audience applauding)

“- And just a minute, we're gonna ask our panelists”

to predict the big surprising moment at this weekend's Oscars.

But first, let me tell you all.

Wait, wait, don't tell me, as a production of NPR and W.E.E.E. Chicago, an association with urgent haircut productions, Doug Burman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Gotaker writes our Limerix, our public address

and answer is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studio Baker Theatre,

“B.J., leader and composer, I think our program is produced”

by Jennifer Mills, Miles, Dornboss, and Lily and Kings.

Special thanks to Mahanadell, Shayhi, and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwen is a man of much talents. And the joy is our vibe curator, technical directionism, learn a wider, special thanks this week to Travis Hagen. Our CFO is Colin Miller, our product manager's Robert

Newhouse, our senior producers, Ian Chillog, and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me it's Michael Danforth. Now, panel, who is gonna surprise us at the Oscars? Rachel Conster.

- Kylie Jenner is gonna do the Carmina Barana on points. (audience laughing) - Adam Felvin, a contriped Timothy Shellimee will walk the red carpet in a two-two-in-viking helmet. (audience laughing)

And joy on the Cole Johnson. - After her performance celebrating sinners, Blackbell Arena, Misty Cople will slap Timothy Shellimee in the face. (audience cheering) - And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it

on wait, wait, don't tell me. - Thank you, I was so slain. Thanks also to Rachel Conster, Adam Felvin, joy on the Cole Johnson. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Stephen Baker Theatre in downtown Chicago.

Thank you all for listening wherever you might be. (audience cheering) - I'm Peter Segal and we'll be back with Bill Curtis. Next week. (audience laughing)

(audience cheering) This is NPO.