[MUSIC]
>> From NPR, and WB EZ Chicago, this is weight weight. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm the boy so hot. The mic drops itself. [LAUGHTER]
“>> I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Stuttlebaker Theater.”
That's the fine arts building in Chicago with a lot of beaters. >> Thank you, Bill. >> Thank you, everybody. >> Great to see you. >> Thank you so much.
Later on today, we're going to be talking to former Daily Show correspondent, Asif Monvie, who left that show in 2017 to star in TV shows in movies and plays, in which he didn't have to talk at all about the news. The man has timing. [LAUGHTER]
>> So, give us a call before we figure out a way out. The number to call is one AAA weight weight that's 188-8-924-8-924.
It's time to welcome our first listener contestant.
How you're on weight weight, don't tell me. >> Hi, this is Grace, and I'm calling for a peachyum Vermont. >> Peachyum Vermont. I'm going to say that if I wrote like a TV show, set an official, but charming Vermont town,
I'd probably call it peachyum. [LAUGHTER] Is it what I imagine?
“Is it beautiful and verdant and filled with interesting people, Grace?”
>> You bet it is. It's a beautiful place. >> It's a whole town about an hour south of Quebec, and 20 miles from the nearest Starbucks. >> Whoa, whoa, well, Grace, let me introduce you to our panel this week.
First up, it's the comedian, you can see April 9th at Tulip Casino in Seattle, and April 27th through May 3rd at the comedy cellar at the Rio and Las Vegas. It's a Lanzo Bowden. >> Hello, Grace. >> Hello, hello, hello.
>> Next, she's a comedian you can see in Frederick Maryland on April 17th at the Weinberg Center for the Arts, and host of the podcast, "Nobody Listens to Ball of Boundstone." It's "Poll of Poundstone." >> Hey, Grace. [APPLAUSE]
>> Hey, Paul. >> Love you, girl. >> Thank you.
>> And finally, making his debut on our show.
“It's a comedian whose podcast coastal idiots can be heard every Tuesday”
and all the platforms, and you can catch him at the Dan Theater here in Chicago, as part of the Windy City Company Festival in August 6th. It's Shane Torres. >> Hello, how are you, Shane? >> Nice to meet you.
>> So Grace, you're going to play Who's Bill. This time, Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voice mail. Are you ready to go?
>> All right, yeah, I'm ready. >> Here we go. Your first quote is about the new trend of people gambling on reality TV. >> Is it legal to take about to Fiji and watch the finalists on the beach with "Badocular"?
>> That was a question in the New York Times asked, after news that people are now betting on the outcome of what reality show? >> Oh, gosh, I need a hint. >> Well, you can also bet on things like, how many times Jeff Probst says, "Come on in, guys."
>> I'll survive it. >> Survivor, yes. >> Good. >> The prediction markets, like Polymarketing, Calshy, they're now taking bets on the outcome of reality shows, meaning some day, you might hear a small child say,
"Daddy had to sell the house because Kayla won the bachelor." >> So this is-- >> So Peter, yes. >> Let me ask you. >> Yes. >> Can I put a bet down now on this show?
>> Sure. >> To win on. >> I'm all in on Polypounds, don't you? >> I think real, every minute. >> Yeah, it's man.
>> You can't cook good odds on Polymer. >> Yeah, if there's some sort of reality show theme during this show, I'm definitely going to be the winner. Exactly, I'm just going to say as an experienced gambler from way back, betting on reality shows, reality shows.
That's for emitters. I put $40,000 on young sheldon dying in a fire. So, thanks to these new prediction markets, you can now bet on almost literally anything, the opening box office of the new Avengers movie. You can bet on that, the highest temperature in Des Moines, Iowa next month.
There is, this is true, a big bet on Polymarket right now on whether or not Jesus will return by the end of this year. >> Wow. >> You can bet on that, I mean, they supposedly, it's all legit, but it's a little suspicious
that a guy with the screen name Papa Leo 14 has half a million on no.
>> You know, if we were calling, you know, if we were, you know, trying to remove the less, shall we say, productive members of society. >> Then I say, you just find whoever made a bet on that at all. >> Yeah. >> And that's the first batch.
>> You need to go.
[ Laughter ]
“>> And, you know, it's not a popularity contest.”
>> We will, you know, we do, we round them up, we put them on an island, and then we bet on that.
[ Laughter ] Here, here's your next quote. "Why are we wasting money making these two nickels work just fine?" >> That was a commenter in the ABC news affiliate talking about the new what being made by the US Mint.
>> [ Laughter ] >> And the new guy? >> Yes, Dines, Dines, Dines, yes. [ Applause ] >> And in honor of the nation's 250th anniversary,
the US Mint has begun shipping out shiny new Dines, and on the front of the new Dines, is a profile of lady liberty that has replaced the old profile of FDR. It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary. [ Laughter ] >> Sad for truth?
>> Yeah. >> It's just stating, a fact, people, it's a little controversial because the eagle on the back used to hold arrows in an olive branch, but they have now gotten rid of the olive branch. Or it's more a warlike, and people are like, "Ah, this is Trump again, he's doing this." But no, it was actually designed under Joe Biden.
In fact, Joe Biden unveiled the new Dine by pulling it from behind your ear and telling you not to spend it all in one place. [ Laughter ] >> I think it's funny that the Dime is controversial because I suspect they could have rolled out the new Dimes and not said anything and no one would have noticed.
>> That's true. >> Nobody would have liked it. >> When have you last looked at a Dime? >> Once last time you used the Dime. >> Well, not again, I have to bring back pay phones so we have something to do with that.
>> That's true. >> I loved pay phones, like in the airport when you can get the kind that had the seat in it. >> Oh, yeah. >> You could close the life of the lap of luxury in there. >> I was, yeah, it was like a refuge.
I was, I'd get in there with my phone book and just have it at it. [ Laughter ] >> What's the pay phone? >> Yeah. Yeah, all we, I'm a little younger. >> All the Gen ZU listeners just, there they go again.
>> Yeah, there they go. >> Talk about how they use pay phones.
“>> Yeah, well, even mentioning a phone book to a Gen ZU, you have to explain.”
It's a book that darts to everyone. [ Laughter ] >> All right, we have one more quote for you. This is from the spokesperson for a mysterious artist who, until now, we've known only by his pseudonym.
The artist has decided to say nothing.
That artist was staying silent after his identity was finally revealed this week.
Who is it? >> Another one. [ Laughter ] >> What do you take out? >> Somebody helped me.
>> I have another hand, I have another hand. He was, he is famous for the paintings. He puts up on the sides of buildings, including appropriately. Banksy, yes, Banksy. [ Applause ]
An investigation by Reuters has finally revealed the real identity of Banksy. His real name is Robin Gunningham, which I guess explains why he calls himself Banksy. It's going to be so weird now. He was a mysterious figure. Now he's just a guy.
He'll be taken out the trash and his neighbors will be like, hey, Robin Gunningham. Saw your devastating social commentary last week. Nicely done. [ Laughter ]
“>> You think his neighbors are like, so that's why there were so many spray cans.”
>> Yeah, very weak in it. >> We just thought he was huffing it. >> Yeah. >> So, does this, how does this affect the value of the work? >> That is a good question.
Art collectors have wondered if this revelation might negatively affect the prices of Banksy's work. He's no longer that mysterious. >> Yeah, did with Rembrandt? >> Yeah, true. >> One Banksy dealer doesn't think so, quote, "My clients buy Banksy's art because of the art itself," he said, "Lying."
[ Laughter ] It's disappointing, it's just some random guy.
It would have been so fun if they were like, we can finally reveal the real identity of fame to street art as Banksy, and it is Shaquille O'Neill.
[ Laughter ] Bill, how did Grace do on our quiz ultimately? >> Grace, you got there individually. You are a winner. >> Yeah, thank you, Grace.
>> Thank you, Grace, so much. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. [ Music ] >> Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news.
Shaan, "Clevicular" is the now famous looks maxing influencer. He's done everything to improve his appearance up to and including smashing the bones in his face. According to a report, we saw this week, he had a very surprising fan, "Who was it?"
>> Oh my God, please.
>> Yeah, somebody else called "Poundstone," that would be arguably even more surprising, but it's not all.
>> I would love any.
“>> I will give you a hint, we don't know if his son has inherited this enthusiasm along with the leadership of Iran's revolutionary council.”
>> Oh, the new leader, the new president, actually old one. >> Oh, yes, the now late supreme leader of Iran. According to a website called Tehran Dispatch, which seems to offer otherwise very serious reports about things going on in Iran. The late Ayatola watched 300 hours of content from online, insane person, "Clevicular." This is very surprising because the Ayatola wasn't even that hot.
According to one of the Ayatola's associates, familiar with the discovery, quote, "There are aspects of the man's private life that are between him and God." According to God, quote, "Please don't drag me into this." >> [LAUGH] >> Oh, but God says that a lot. >> That's probably.
>> We're technically now.
>> Yeah, God wears a t-shirt that says that.
>> I wonder if he was watching it or was his wife like, "Hey, look at this." >> Yeah, hey, look at this. >> Have you ever considered shaving? Have you ever considered shaving the beard maybe? [LAUGH]
>> Could you put the hat a skew? >> Yeah, a little bit, a little cocky kind of thing, yeah. Anyway, meanwhile, I want to ask for a comment on this. A particular said quote, "What's a ran?" [LAUGH]
>> Coming up, our panelists take a bite out of the big apple in our Bluffs to listen to game call. When Triple 8 weight weight to play, we'll be back in a minute with more weight weight. Don't tell me, from NPR. [MUSIC]
“>> From NPR and WVEs, you should go this is.”
Wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis who you're playing this week with Shane Torres. Alonzo Bowden and the one that only pull a pound stone. And here we're going to throw a host at these two to make her theater and shit, go, go, go, go, I beat her, say go.
>> Thank you, Bill, thanks everybody. [APPLAUSE] >> Right now, it is time for the weight weight don't tell me, Bluff the listener game, call one Triple 8 weight to play our game on the air. How you run, weight weight don't tell me.
>> Hi, Peter, this is the Mutri from Elon North Carolina. >> Elon North Carolina, North Carolina. [APPLAUSE] >> How many signatures does the petition to change the town's name have at this point? [LAUGHTER]
>> Trust me, the school definitely has been a little bit of a rebrand. >> Yeah, so, yeah, Elon University, right? >> Yeah, yes, are you a student there? >> I just graduated from your walk school back in December. >> Oh, really, that's awesome, congratulations.
>> Thank you. >> Yeah, and what kind of, what kind of law do you anticipate doing? >> If I was the practice, I would want to do civil rights or try to work for governance seats and make sure that, you know, things work well and what the way to respond to them.
[APPLAUSE] >> I'm glad, I'm glad, at least one person wants that to happen. [LAUGHTER] >> I hope you get that job. Demetri, it's nice to have you with us.
“You're going to play the game when you have to tell truth from fiction.”
Bill, what does Demetri's topic? >> You have my regards to Broadway.
>> You never know what might happen on a trip to New York City.
You can run into a celebrity, you could step in any number of mystery puddles. Our panelists are going to tell you about one tourist trip to the big apple that is so memorable that made the news. Pick the one that's telling the truth, you'll want to surprise the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail.
You ready to play? >> Sure am. >> All right, first, let's hear from Alonzo Bowdoin. >> When Connor Langley from Dalsel South Carolina told his friends and neighbors he was going in New York for the first time, he was warned New York was a dangerous town when
nothing was green and everyone was dangerous. Prepared for the worst, Connor hit New York, and immediately he was struck by how aggressive the city was, aggressively nice. When loss of the train station an older lady helped him get to his hostel in Brooklyn. When staring up the Empire State Building, he realized he was in someone's way when a man
yelled, "Hey, I'm walking here, step aside and enjoy the beauty of our city, my friend." >> [LAUGH] >> At Central Park, he asked the lady why New York had such a reputation for being mean when the people were so nice. And she said it was a weird thing about New York. The people are nice, but to protect that they act mean.
Connor just nodded and asked where to get some bad pizza, because he was told...
pizza was actually pretty good.
“>> A man is stunned to find New York as your fellow with kind help for people who”
give you the time of day, your next New York minute comes from Shane Tores. >> Many are the stream of making it big in New York City. This is no different for fledgling Swedish metal band Don Dirkot, roughly translated to death breath. With this weekend, did there three week American tour with the show in New York. As the band pulled up to the venue for a sound check, they could not believe the enormity of it.
After playing 200-300 capacity rooms the whole tour, they were now pulling up to the javit center, the enormous convention center in Manhattan. But no, Don Dirkot did not hit it big overnight. This was all a result of mistake and identity, as the band had been booked to play a dental convention. Because Don Dirkot translates to death breath, the slang term denist use for halatosis,
“one organizer wrongly assumed the band was dental metal.”
Not death metal, but they went ahead and played a signature song like "Mouth of Hell" and you are the cavity of my soul. To over 3,000 Dennis, A.K.A. new fans. When asked by the website, metal injection, what he thought about the gig, frontman, Yann Skarsgarh said, "I loved it. These dinners are way more disturbed than any of our regular fans." As sweet as death metal band ends up entertaining 3,000 dentists at the javit center,
your last story from the city that never sleeps comes from Paula Poundstone.
Faceau months of shimmerhough in Germany came to New York City on holiday in August of 2024 to take his bite out of the big apple. By the time he left, he was seeking 20 million in damages. Quite a bite. In fact, Mr. Mons' alleged out-of-towner Odyssey of mistreatment began when he took a bite of a taco from Los Tacos No. 1 on 43rd Street, where he says his tongue and mouth were burning and immediately worsening to gastrointestinal and emotional distress. So he sued.
Days later, he tried to use his phone inside the Walmart Supercenter in Seacock. It's New Jersey, probably, to buy some Pepto Bismal. His phone wouldn't work inside the Walmart. So he sued. This week, all of Mr. Mons' cases were dismissed, but with international tourism at such a dismal low, the possibility of luring foreigners back to the big apple with a sue-the-crap-but-a-New York City tour shouldn't be tossed aside.
All right. Here are your choices. Some had had a memorable trip to New York, wasn't from Alonzo, a person who came expecting the worst, but received the best. So much so that he told the news about it, from Shane Torres, a Swedish death metal band found itself at the Javit Center, an enormous place filled with Dennis, but was ahead anyway. Or from Paula, a German terrorist who came to New York City and Seacock is in Jersey for the sites at such a
terrible time. He sued everybody for $20 million. Which of these was the real story we found in the
news about a trip to New York City? About the famous of the real one, but Paula's story sounded like a torque hypothetical that I know a lot
“of the one else went through a couple months ago. But I think along those stories, I'm sure one.”
All right. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we talked to someone who reported on it. The Green Salsa Adler's talk is number one is not out of this world spicy, but it did cause this German terrorist intestinal distress. That was Christopher Mug, a journalist on the Metro Desk at the New York Times, talking about that German tourists tour of the American legal system. So what I have to tell you, sir, is that Paula's story was not a hypothetical.
So you didn't win, but you earned a point for Alonso for two years. Thank you, sir. Charming story. Thank you. About his own native city. Thank you so much for playing in good luck, as you navigate the even weirder things that happen in real life. Thank you. Take care, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. And now the game where we ask people who've done a lot to do something else.
We call it not my job. Now, if you're like me, you first became a fan of Alonso's
Hitman V, during his long run as a correspondent with the Daily Show of John Stuart. But again, if you're like me, you may not have known that he's also a long time working actor with roles in TV film and theater. Right now he is starring in a new comedy on Peacock, called The Miniature Wife, and he's rehearsing for a revival of Noel Coward's fallen angels on Broadway.
As Hitman V, welcome to Wayway, Don't Tell me.
It's great to finally talk to you after watching you for so many years. Like I said,
I always love hearing stories about actors who were at it for a while and paid their dues.
I heard this remarkable story after starting at a Disney theme park, which I love you, ended up in New York, and you did a whole bunch of jobs, and I love this, including you worked for a company that put on murder mystery parties. Yeah, yeah, I used to perform in modern mysteries where we would go like sort of incognito into these parties, and then someone would get killed, and one of the most infamous ones that I ever did was add a Northodox Jewish meat.
They were trying to meet people to get married. It's like a single's meet-up thing, right? And we go in there, and I just want to pause and say, somebody organized a single's meet-up
for Orthodox Jews, instead of themselves, you know it makes us a really great eat.
Yeah, it's that. It's somebody who are murdered. Yeah, all right, even in there.
“And so I just remember that I was one of the other actors who I used to work with at the time,”
was Connie Britain, and she was sort of chatting up this guy who I just remember was wearing a yellow suit, so I'll tell you everything about him. Yeah. And he was really chatting him up, and he thought he had hit the jackpot. Right. He was like, this is like this beautiful woman is talking to me, and then about 20 minutes into it, she was killed by that. I've had dates like that, I'm just, you know, sympathetic. You are going on Broadway
in this revival of the Noel Coward play with the great Rose Burn among many others. The other thing you have coming out is TV Show and Peacock, a comedy called The Miniatur Wife, and I have to say I heard the title, and I said to myself, oh, that must be like a metaphorist about a wife, she's in the shadow of her husband, she feels small. That's not what it's about. No. No. No. It's about a man who has his scientist who has designed a sort of a serum
that can miniaturize crops to come back climate change. So, you know, Matthew McFaden, who I love from succession, and Elizabeth Banks, who I worked with many years ago and William Stown, is literally six inches tall, and lives in the dollhouse for much, but they hate each other, and they're constantly trying to kill each other. So, honey, I shrunk the kid's meat's
“time in Jerry. Did you have to spend any time on set, like crouching down and pretending you're”
talking to a six-inch I Elizabeth Banks? Yes. Later in the season, I do Matthew hides the whole
storyline of his wife from me for a long time, until he finally can't, and then there is
a moment where he and I are both on the floor, talking to a small cardboard cut out of Elizabeth Banks. Right. And they would sort of move her around. Right. So, to pretend like she was walking. One more question for you, like I said at the beginning, I first knew you became a big fan when you were on the daily show, but I heard a story, I don't know how this could be true, that you ended up appearing on the daily show the same day you auditioned for it?
Yeah. How was that even? That is true. A couple of days earlier, I had found out that my ex-girlfriend had got engaged, and so I was very upset when I was writing one of those letters. No. You know, that you write to your ex-girlfriend saying, how you f***ed up, you know, and I can't say that, can I say that? I mean, you just did. That's all right. You look finger at that. All right. So, I'm writing this thing, I get this call
to come on audition for the daily show, and I was in such a bad place that I said, "I can't come in today, I don't feel it. Can I come in tomorrow?" And they said, "No, if you don't come in today, then it's done." So, I literally just put on a suit, and I went in,
“and I honestly just had this attitude of like, "I'm never going to get this. This is ridiculous."”
Like, I mean, the wrong frame of mine had John met me and he said, "I know it was a little bit silly." And I said, "Because he said to me, he said, "Have you, you know, have you ever performed in front of a live audience?" And I'm like, "Look, he got it, and he's just being like, "Do that big on Broadway." And I had such, but I just did my best even cobaired impression, because that's all I knew to do, and I was a fan of the show. And he hired me right there on the spot,
I was on the show that night.
and something it was just, I was on the show, and people were calling me. We were like,
“"This is a guy that looks like you. I'm the daily show tonight." And so, I didn't even get to tell my”
family until after it was gone. Did it comfort you, maybe, given the circumstances the day, to know that maybe your ex-girlfriend would see you on this hit, incredibly culturally significant TV show and thanks to herself, "My God, what have I done?" You know, it's so funny. Like, the minute I got the daily show, I didn't really care about my ex-girlfriend that much. There you go. Lesson three, all. Lesson three, all, ladies and gentlemen.
As of Monday, it's a pleasure to talk to you. We have asked you here today to play a game of what we're calling miniature life, miniature groom. So your new series is the miniature wife, and we're going to ask you about a place you usually find miniature brides and grooms on top of wedding cakes. Answer two to three questions correctly. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners,
“the voice of their choice, and their voice mail, Bill, who is Ossif Mande playing for?”
Linda Evers of Colon'sville, Illinois. All right, ready to play?
Here's your first question. Wedding cakes have been around since at least ancient Roman times,
but the tradition back then was a little different. Instead of the bride and groom cutting the cake together, what would happen? A, the bride would throw the cake as far as she could and the groom would go find it and bring it back. B, they would break the cake over the bride's head or see they would put a live squirrel inside it and wait for it to eat its way out, plus cutting the cake. I'm going to go with B. Yes, you're right. They would break the cake over the bride's head.
Oh, they lost a lot of good brides back then. All right, here's your next question. Wedding
“cakes, of course, are a tradition now, but if you were getting married in 17th century Europe,”
you and your guests would most likely be cutting into what at the wedding celebration. Would it be A, what was known as the bride's pie, a savory pie filled with oysters,
lamb testicles, and occasionally live snakes? B, potatoes basically just dozens and dozens of
potatoes or see just the air or as wedding planners of the time called it, a cake of the mind. I'm going to say that they would just cut into potatoes. Potato, they just had a lot of potatoes at the time. No, it was actually A, the brides pie. According to Wikipedia, in addition to the other tasty things, they would occasionally put a live snake there to, quote, "help guests to pass the time in a wedding." I guess they did that because at the time they needed entertainment and they had no
DJs. That's true. That is true. It didn't come around until about the 1800s. Exactly true. You have one more chance, if you get this right on the win. The one tradition today that every wedding expert tells you just to skip it, don't do it is when the groom smashes the cake into the bride's face. Right? If the bride does it, if the groom, one couple went so hard and the cake smashing bit that after they cleaned up, this just happened to January, they did what? A, they did it again,
smashing each other in the faces with the entrée from dinner and then all the side dishes. Be they handed out cupcakes for their guests to smash on each other, join the fun, or see they got divorced. I'm going to go with the cupcakes. You're going to go with the cupcakes. The audience, you think they got divorced? The audience thinks they got divorced. All right, we'll go with the audience. And they're right. The offels are the audience are right.
Yeah, how do you guys, if Ma'am, be doing our quiz? I just have got two right and that makes him a winner. A little help. We're all here to help each other. It's a community. As if Ma'am V is an actor that soon you can see on Broadway and Noel Coward's Fallen Angels starring April 19th. And also, if you don't want to go out on Peacocks, the miniature wife, which starts streaming April 9th. As if Ma'am, be what a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you, number 30. Take care, break legs,
on Broadway. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. Adjusting it, it bill heads to space with his tonic and wine in our listener, number challenge. Go on. Wonderful. Wait, wait to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more wait wait don't tell me from NPR. From NPR and WVEZ should go this is. Wait wait don't tell me.
The NPR news quiz.
Shane Torres, and Paula Poundstone. And here I get into her host at these two to make her theater
“and should tag all of the live. Peter Staker. Thank you, Bill. Adjusting it bill gets all hopped up on”
Limerix. It's our listener, Limerix challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call. It'll one triple-late, wait, wait. That's one. 88, 9, 2, 4, 8, 9, 2, 4. Right now, panel some more questions for you from the week's news. Shane, appropriately for St. Patrick's Day, etiquette experts said this week that doing what at a party is actually fine. Pinching people? No, and also what would pinching have to do with St. Patrick's Day?
If you don't wear a green, you get pinched. I see. That's not a thing that just happened at my house.
That was awful. I was very panicked. That was a terrible prank pulling you by a mean older brother.
Oh yeah, I got to pinch it. No, no, this is there's another, but else could be done at a party. No, something related to the Irish. Oh, Irish could buy it. Yeah. Irish could buy, it turns out, are fine. For those who don't know, an Irish could buy is when you quietly leave a party without telling anyone. You just disappear. Some say that's bad manners, but some say it's good, but everybody can agree that the Irish could buy is better than the
nowhere else to go last one to leave. So people have said, well, the Irish could buy is very poor.
“Poor manners, you should say goodbye to your host. But now, a group of etiquette experts have agreed”
that in the right circumstances, it's actually the correct thing to do. I would think if you had a bunch of etiquette experts at your party. Yes, as long as they left, you wouldn't care how they did it. That's true. Do you guys do the Irish could buy it a party? Do you guys seek out the host or do you let me in? I'm out. I've gone both ways, but as a host, I prefer people to say goodbye. Okay, lords on the record now. If you go to a party at Paul's house, let her know you're leaving.
Yeah, otherwise you just turn around, people are gone. Yeah, it's creepy. Yeah. But on the other hand, I have slipped out of other parties. Sure. Because we've all done it. I mean, I think it depends on the size of the party. Exactly right. If it's a big party, why bother trying to find the person, it's okay, you can write them later. But if it's too small, you can't go. So like holiday party, somebody's house totally fine. In a nursery dinner with your wife, she'll notice.
Well, you write the letter. She might be glad you left. That's true, depending how the dinner's going. Shane, a new study has found that birds around the world are picking up a fun new habit. Birds, it turns out, really like what? I need yodeling. Yodeling? I'm thinking, don't birds already, yodeling saying. Yeah. Yodeling? Do it, Shane, yodeling. I'll give you a hint. Turns out, it's not a coincidence that bird nests are shaped like asteroids. They love smoking. They love
cigarettes. Yeah. If you ever seen a bird with a cigarette in its mouth and thought, where are my parents? Researchers in Poland have studied songbirds and they found that some have intentionally started building cigarette butts into their nests because the chemicals into backo repel parasites. The birds have figured that out. It works. It's a property that birds have figured. They have!
I mean, this has always been true. It's why my great uncle never had to deal with headlice
until the day he died of emphysema. So this is like an avian asbestos situation. It's like keeping things warm. The insulation from the cigarette butts would make their nests. No, no, it's that they've actually turns out that they have figured out that they haven't figured out. They're doing it. They're all doing it. They're all doing it. Oh, it doesn't mean they figured it out. Yeah. Birds are
“succumbing to peer pressure. That's what's happening. The birds are like other birds are smoking and”
like the crows are smoking and the fennches are like, well, I want to look cool too. Yeah. No, it's keeping up with the red wings, Joneses. Yes. I actually go with you on this with Peter. I think the birds have figured it out. They haven't figured it out. I think the birds they get, they said, you know, why until birds. The birds, they saw the birds with the cigarette butts. They went like those of some prettier birds than us. Right. They talked to each other. They say you have an
a problem with parasites. Try, you know, marble. Yeah. Yeah. Nine out of ten exterminators recommend marboros. Exactly. It's just a stupid story. No. I remember I'm old enough to remember when birds actually had cigarettes inside restaurants. Coming up, it's lightning filming the blank.
First it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
call it a message. You're one triple eight. Wait, wait. That's 1 8 8 8 9 2 4 8 9 2 4. You can catch
this most weeks here. Let's do the picker theater in Chicago. And you can come see us on the road. For example, we will be in Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. That's next week. Come out and see us Savannah for tickets and information to all our live events go to NPR presents.org. Hi, you're on the way. Don't tell me. Hi, this is Sarah from Percussive Pennsylvania. Percussive
“Pennsylvania. Is that where the phrase perky came from? Because you sound excited. No. I think”
it's supposed to mean like the one who cracks. Hickory notes or something. Oh, yeah, sure. Percussive. Yeah, everybody knows that. Sarah, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis right here is going to read you three news related lemrics of the last word of phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word of phrase correctly in two lemrics, you'll be a winner. Ready to play? Yep.
Let's do it. Here is your first lemric. There's a comment in the outer space, ooze. That's a
bit of a party boat cruise. You better not snitch than it's alcohol rich. The comment is filled up with booze. Booze. Yeah, scientists who are studying the interstellar comet three eye atlas, which is currently zooming through our solar system, have discovered that it is full of alcohol. Finally, a comet that has the sense to bring a bottle of wine with a pops-by. Astronomers knew something was up when they saw it weaving all over the place on its way toward the sun. But for
a comet like this to really work, it has to be followed by another comet made up entirely of mixed nuts.
How do they know that the comet's filled with alcohol? They went and had a sip.
No, they did. You find that as the show gets towards the end, the facts become a little iffy. No, it's like, I think it's as easy. The birds are smoking the out. The comet is drinking everybody's stress. Here's your next limerick. In the evenings, my mind starts to scurry and my focus on calm thoughts gets blurry. But I heed sage advice and put bad thoughts on ice. Until morning, I post poem, my... Where are you? Worry, yes, according to a writer
in the Guardian, to combat anxiety and stress all we need to do is stop worrying at exactly 630pm and don't start worrying until the next morning. Yeah, it's easy. Because when 630 comes around, you just stop worrying. A thing you do willingly and have total control over. Now, this advice came from a therapist who said he needed to have no worry time because of his
“brain arrest, he admits it's not easy and it takes practice and you have to go gradually, right?”
But after a couple of months of concentration and focus, he was able to get all the way to 645 without starting to whimper. I think that's logical. I understand that it's easier said than done, but it does sound logical to me. There are times, even if you're worrying a lot, drink some water. You'd be amazed how hydration changes your brain. This was like when I broke my ankle playing football and I was told to walk it off. Yeah, it's not. Here is your last
limmering. On this surface, we bull sharks pretend that we're tough and alone till the end. But I hang with shark bros where the sea water flows. I get quality time with a friend. Yes, researchers were stunned when they discovered that bull sharks have rich social lives and make friends. They made this discovery after observing a shark take another shark to the airport. Scientists had thought that sharks lived mostly in isolation, except when feeding on prey.
They observed sharks engaged in social interactions with each other, like parallel swimming
“or lead follow behavior. That's what it's called. And these bonds between the sharks remain”
strong unless, of course, they start a band together. I think that these researchers were watching one shark and they thought he was by himself. And that shark's buddy swam up behind him and shared the researcher. Really? And the researchers last thought was I'm glad they're friends. Bill, how did Sarah do in our quiz? Sarah will sleep well tonight. She got a whole three right. Congratulations, Sarah. Well done, thank you. Take care. Now on to our final game,
Lightning film, the blank each of our players love 60 seconds in which to ans...
film of the blank questions as they can. Each crack dancer now with two points. Bill, can you give us the score? Paula has two. Shane. And Alonzo. Each.
Paula, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first
question, the film of blank. On Thursday, the UK said they were ready to join efforts to ensure safe passage through the straight of blank. Her move. Right. Forms on Monday. It's four moves. A federal judge temporarily blocked RFK junior changes to US blank policy. Right. Right. This week's confirmation hearings for DHA Secretary blank began. Mark Wayne Muller. Right. For the ninth year in a row, Finland was named the world's
blankest country. Happiest. Right. Good news for people who love the worst part of a pizza pizza hot is hiring their first ever blank expert. Cross. Right. On Thursday, NASA said they were hoping to launch the Artemis two mission to the blank. On the first. The moon. Right. On Wednesday.
Jessie Holmes and his pack of dogs won their second blank race in Alaska. I did it right. Right.
This week, pedestrians in Japan were shocked when they spotted blank at a construction site. It's playing a blank at a smoke and birds. No. A mysterious. That's fine. The birds were on break. It was okay. No. They saw a mysterious 30 foot steel cylinder rising from the ground. Oh, yes. How old is it? A rocket shipman were baffled when in the middle of a busy road. A 30 foot metal cylinder suddenly rose from the ground, halting traffic and prompting a city-wide
investigation. Since then, crews have managed to get most of the cylinder back underground, which means when it comes back up, it's going to be even angrier.
“Bill. I think polluted rather well. Oh, it's going to leave a little.”
That's going to hardly get it out. Seven. Right. Fourteen more points, total of 16 puts pollau in the lead. There you are. Well, that's. So, you could see others have a good yet. Shane and Alonso retidal pick. Alonso to go next here we go on Wednesday. The federal reserves said they would keep a blank rates unchanged. Interest. Right. On Monday, President Trump suggested that Gavin Newsom couldn't be president because he is blank.
What do you say? He's dyslexic. That's right. This week, Americans were concerned when the federal government registered the new domain name, blank.gov. Trump? No, Aliens.gov. According to a new study, a diet low in blank and slow, cognitive decline. Well, obviously, I haven't been eating. Yeah, exactly. Peter, I don't know if you're aware that the NCAA tournament started this week. Yeah. Well, you've been busy. You bugged me with all these questions. Sorry.
Well, it was a diet low in salt can slow down in the decline on Tuesday. Venezuela beat the U.S.
to in their first world blank title. Ah, world baseball. Yeah, world baseball class at this week.
The large bear walking into her shot interrupted an L.A. TV reporter story about blank. Bears. Yes, bear attacks in the neighborhood. KTLA's Aaron Myers was reporting live from Monroe via California in a series of bear attacks when suddenly a bear wandered right into frame behind her as if to say, "Oh my God, are you guys talking about me?" Not only did Myers keep her cool. She also told viewers, quote, "This is the second time a bear has shown up on live TV with me, which is
probably a sign she should stop filling her pockets with salmon." Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? Four, right? Eight more points, total of 11, and he trails Pula with 16. All right.
“So how many then to Shane need to win on his debut appearance on our show? Only seven to win?”
Here you go, Shane. You can do this. Oh, yeah, you got this. Yeah, sure, it'll be up here for me. Rocky, a lot. Here we go. This is for the game, Shane. On Wednesday, Israeli officials pushed back on Trump's claim that he did not know about a strike on an oil field in blank. It wrong. Right. According to a new study, smoking blank does not ease anxiety. With, right, on Thursday, 12th, seed high point beat fifth seed Wisconsin in the first upset of the blank
tournament, March madness. Yeah. You can see the blank on Monday. Off to go cut down the net. Yeah. On Monday, thousands of workers that amoeetpacking planned, walked off the job as part of the industry's first blank in 40 years strike. Right. This week, Florida lawmakers voted to keep it legal in that state for blanks to marry. First cousin. Yeah. According to new guidelines, experts suggest that people as young as 30 start taking drugs to lower
blank. Blood pressure? No cholesterol on Sunday, sinners and one battle after another with the big winners at the 2026 blank awards. Oscar. Right. This week, the passenger browsing the
“flush kangaroos that it has median airport was surprised to find blank. Oh, gosh. A real kangaroo?”
I don't know. Oh, so close. A real live possum. The passenger says he was delighted,
He caught the possum cutled up among the stuffed animals at the airport and t...
equally excited when they caught the wild animal and got him safely out of the airport. And meanwhile,
“the possum was like, damn, I'm never going to make my flight now. Bill, Shane did well. Did he do well”
enough to win? Well, he got six right, twelve more points and his 15 comes one short of Paula. Great showing. Coming up, our panelist predict now that his identity has been revealed
what will the artist Bank see do next? But first, let me tell you that wait wait,
“don't tell me his report action of NPR and WB EZ Chicago and association with urgent”
haircut productions, Doug Burman, benevolent overlord. Fill up, go to Co-Writes, our lemrex, our public address and answer is Paul Friedman, thanks to the staff and crew with the
Student Baker Theater BJ Leadman, composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,
“Miles, Dermboss and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blithe Robertson and Monica Hickey. If you say”
Peter Gwyn's name three times, he will appear. Peter Gwyn, Peter Gwyn, our five cheerraders. I'm a toy technical director from Lord of Wighters, CFOs, Colin Miller, our production manager is Robert. New house, our senior producer is Ian Chillog and the executive producer of Whitway Don't Tell me he's Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will Bank see do next, Alonzo Bowdoin? Start a podcast. Why not? Shane Torres, he'll be the next bachelor, Ed.
And Paul, a pound stone. He's going to offer his services to elementary school children for their visual aids in their reports. Well, plenty of that happens, panel. We're going to ask you about it on weight weight. Don't tell me. Thank you so much, Bill Curtis, thanks all for the fall, a pound stone, Alonzo Bowdoin. A big thanks for Shane Torres and an great debut on our show. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the SteenaBaker Theatre.
Thanks to all of you out there wherever you might be listening. We're grateful for you. I'm Peter Seigle, we'll see you next week in Savannah, Georgia. This is NPR.
