The Lie That’s Keeping You Overwhelmed | Sadie Robertson Huff & Tara Sun

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It was like Tarissa and Tarissa, and I was like, "Wait, this is incredible because I know her, but funny enough I'd never met her, but we've followed each other in a screen for years.

She's got to do some things together and I'm super grateful. Not only to have her on the podcast, but for her and her husband to be here in Louisiana, and we also get to shout out her new book over booked and overwhelmed. And I'd just like to say, I might be counseled for the next hour on this podcast because this is a word I need to hear, does, really. But, Tarissa, thank you for coming all the way from Oregon to Louisiana. It's a blessing that you're here. Oh my gosh, it's a joy. It's been really sweet. We love the hometown like small town vibes. It's been really sweet and really fun for us to get away and just like have us time. So thanks for having us.

I'd dive in in. I mean, we are on Louisiana, stay in here for a few days. You got a restaurant in Dordach, I never heard of. Yeah, we're, we're telling you some local recommendations. I need to get more local and like what? No, but I'm super excited dive into this conversation. But before we do, I'll ask you a question. We ask everybody because I know you're ready for it. What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given? Well, I thought about two different ones, but I'm like, I need to go like kind of deep for this, right?

Yeah, but the best piece of advice I think I've ever given is from my parents and specifically like my dad because he like really nailed this in with my brother and I wouldn't be very young.

Both my parents, but I just remember my dad say it more and he always told my brother and I to make our faith our own and he like we grew up in a Christian home.

It was a really great foundation, but he's like just because you have that foundation of faith in us or like you go to church and you do all the extra curriculars.

“It's like you can't write on our co-tails. And I think I listened to that for so long thinking like, oh, yeah, like sure. And then like there's periods in my life where I didn't do that, right?”

I didn't make it my own and I realized, oh, like I need to make this real and personal. So that's like always stuck with me and actually my parents are like middle school leaders at their church too. And they've done it for their whole marriage almost 40 years. And that's what like if you ask any kid that's been in there, you think they will tell you that like it's incredible. It's just sticks with everyone, I think. Wow. That's so cool. That's so cool. Shout out to them for 40 years of like ministry and the middle school.

Yeah. That is incredible. Middle school is the most intimidating group of people for me to speak to. Yeah. I don't know about you, but like some people are like, oh, it makes me nervous and I speak to adults or college students or high school. I'm like, no, if you ever speak in front of a group of middle schoolers saying that's the most intimidating thing. Same. I used to like help my parents when I was going to that church growing up and like helping the group and granted that was maybe still like six straight years go. So it was younger.

But I was like, so nervous whenever my dad asked me to like bring a word because I just felt like they were like, not judging me, but honest, that they show everything they're thinking on their face. Which is kind of nice because you know where you stand. But you're like, okay, you're not getting that. You are getting that. But really for me, I was actually preaching this message. I was giving it my all. It was like protocol sign.

I was going to put a stink bomb. Like, there's a middle school stink bomb that was let off. And so I'm like, and the father's running to the sun. I'm like, you smell something and I, I'm like, not good at how do I face. And I was like, I started laughing and that was like, oh my gosh, this is so inappropriate that I'm laughing. But I was like, I'm sorry, do y'all smell that because I literally thought a skunk entered the room. But thankfully, it made it. It was a stink bomb. I'll have to say, shout out to your parents. But I love that. It made such an impact. And like the fact that like they have stuck with it and longevity, but like it's such a, such a formative year. Yeah, like years of it in your life. And you're probably going to just that too.

“Like knowing some of your story, like, I think it really brings out like insecurities and 100 Mercedes, but then I think it really can set you up to like two a good spot. And so I'm just I'm there my heroes and I'll talk about the most.”

I love that that's amazing. So let's talk about middle school for a second though, because my life changed a lot my eighth grade year. That was whenever things started getting hard.

I think that's whenever my faith was having to become a own like you said, like you're almost forcing to it because now your parents aren't with your time. You get to make some of your own decisions. You're starting to be influenced by people. Your eighth grade year was a big year for you to for other reasons, but can you share a little bit of what happened to you after eighth grade year. Yeah, so it was just before freshman year of high school. So it was like on the end of my eighth grade year. And I remember just as clear as day we're at our friends vacation home at the beach and like try before school is going to start.

You're hanging out and I woke up on morning and like I could not like move without every inch of my body hurting out of bed and it was like the craziest moment. And I remember like calling my parents in and being like this is super weird and we ended up getting home and I felt a little bit better, but I kept having it happen. Like in the morning, start the day really odd like muscle pain like nerve pain like really bad headaches where I could like barely leave a dark room. It was just really odd. And so we went to tons of different doctors and specialists and like trying to figure out what's going on because we were like just about to start school and like I was super active in my life.

And it just of course when something like this happens to you in general, if there's a wrench in your plans, but when you're like that young, I think it was really confusing. And so we finally found out that I was diagnosed with like fibromyalgia, which is just usually something that like older people get, but younger people can get as well. And it's just like a widespread like musculoskeletal pain really bad headaches and it can cause fatigue and just really like it just takes your function and just dips it completely down.

And so that was a big wrench thrown in my plans. And so I had to like miss my first year of high school and had to like be tutored back and like catch up and I remember weeks on end just laying in bed.

Like there was time to always like two weeks where I couldn't get out of bed and my parents like he got to get up and like shower and like I can't.

And so that was the beginning before this. Yeah. Just totally out of nowhere.

“I think it was like from a random virus or something that came about, but it was completely random. I was like, I've grown up dancing my whole life and so I was doing that and you know doing all the church things school.”

Yeah. So it was it was life altering and that sounds dramatic maybe, but it really was. It doesn't sound dramatic. I mean, if you grow up dancing normal kid going to all that disease and then I'll send you wake up and you can't move right. I mean, that's crazy and then not being able to go to your high school year. So at this point in your life though, you're. Oh, hey, yes.

No, I said come out 11. I said we're going to see you Christian. That means recording. Can we go to the high guys Christian's here? Yeah. And my call goes.

Hey, how's it going? That's my husband Michael.

“I was like, who would be walking in while the red lights on?”

Okay, now that my my co-host has left the building with your husband. You're going to have fun talking about hunting. Let's go back to high school because this is a pivotal time of your life. I think I told you I YouTube stalked you. You kind of said your life.

What to that point was like pretty normal easy innocent.

And then this was like your first kind of like challenged your faith.

But I found it interesting that you started talking about how in your sophomore year that was like the hardest year of your life because when you hear your story, you would think like that was the hardest thing. But it seemed like sophomore year took a turn more challenging to like your own faith. Yeah. You're going to talk a little bit about that because to me that was exactly my story.

Like yeah, it was like really hard as our challenges challenging my faith. My life pivoted a lot. But then it was sophomore year. I got into relationships I shouldn't have been in.

And so I thought that was interesting in your story too. Yeah, super similar. And of course, yeah, you had the diagnosis and trying to figure out a new life. And then I went from a private school to a public school and to like that was a little also a little bit of a culture shock. In a way, there's a lot there.

“But yeah, sophomore year it was crazy because I that was the year that I was kind of getting back into like this is how life is now with what I'm going through.”

And that was kind of the year I think like I mentioned before that I didn't really make my faith my own. And so I started just kind of like taking risks and I genuinely probably wouldn't have been able to tell you in the moment. But I think I was really jaded by God. I was really upset and bitter because of what I had went through a couple years ago. Thinking like, Lord, if I'm following you, like why would you do this?

Especially at such a young age, especially at this moment. And so I think I had this like chip on my shoulder with God. And so sophomore year I got into a relationship I shouldn't have. I started like lying to my parents and like sneaking around and like just and also just like not taking care of my body the way I should of like with this illness. There was just a lot that I threw out the window.

And it all came crashing down. Thank God. But it all came crashing down and I just realized like I needed to reconcile with the Lord. And because there was a lot in my heart that I was just holding onto a lot of bitterness. And I just kind of wanted to go my own way.

But I actually am really thankful I think in a lot of ways that that happened. I'm glad that God protected me from some stuff in that rebellious phase. But I'm really glad it happened because I don't think I would have really built that foundation. And that honesty with God, if it didn't happen, yeah. You know how some stories are just so familiar that we almost stop listening whenever they're told because we've heard them so many times.

I feel like that can sometimes happen with the story of Easter, not because it is not the most powerful thing we've ever heard.

But just because we might have heard it all of our life.

“But that's why Tim Teebo's new book at the Tray Kids Speak is really special.”

It's telling the story of the crucifixion from the perspective of the wooden cross. The very thing that hella Jesus as he died, the closest witness to Jesus' death, was in a person it was a tree. And seeing the story through that lens just gives you a whole new perspective and a fresh perspective of both the pain and the redemption. The cross in the story starts out ashamed of what it's become, just two beams used for execution. But then discover it's holding the King of Kings.

And that transformation is such a beautiful picture of how Jesus redeems what feels broken or shameful and turns it into hope. The illustrations are absolutely stunning. The writing is poetic and it's honestly the perfect read as we start looking forward to Easter. It helps you reflect intentionally instead of rushing past the moment. I think this is such a beautiful thing for you to have or as a gift.

I have it right here and you can see it has so many amazing pictures.

I am a big fan of pictures in any book because I'm such a visual learner. But this one specifically because it's obviously showing something so powerful. So let's step into the story of Easter in a different way. Order if the tree could speak by Tim Teebo today on Amazon. One of the things in that story that that was really cool was like you confessing to your parents where you had been like the state you had been in.

That is hard to do. But it's very inspiring that that was a part of your story that was like a true change in you because you had mentioned in this testimony video. I'd said sorry so many times but that time I meant it. There are people listening to this podcast right now who are living in a similar state of wanting to feel rebellious wanting to kind of do their thing. Mad at God for how their life panned out and probably realizing okay this might not be the best decision but what they're choice to have.

I'm so deep in I'm so far in. I just want everyone listening to this to know like you're not too far out.

You're not too deep in it like there's always hope there's always grace.

There's always love like Jesus is for you right here in the season you're in but for you how did you actually like snap out of that.

“Yeah well I think also I love that reminder because I think especially like being a Christian you know that.”

But then like your in a situation and you forget that that's true. So like having you say that again is just like hope for so many people even for myself like I also had to remember like the enemy was trying and succeeding. For a long time in that period of my life to get me to believe that like confessing to not only God but to my parents and the people that I love was going to be dangerous or they weren't going to accept me. Or like just like all these lies but like the moment I did although it's painful and it's embarrassing and all these feelings like they welcome to you with open arms.

They were like we forgive you right away. Yeah we trust you right now. No but do we forgive you and do we love you and are we working towards reconciliation and are we going to move forward. Yes and like same thing with the Lord times a million right.

So my parents took my phone away one time and I snuck my dad's iPad so I could email the boy I was hanging out.

“I don't know if I've ever actually confessed that.”

And what better place is that I'm getting real but I just thought it was. There was a point where I'm so tired of trying to hide and trying to look over my shoulder all the time and I just was exhausted I think and that's in can really weigh on you. Sometimes it takes a while for it to be like wow this is heavy. But I'm grateful that I like yeah.

Well that's actually so good you said that because there are so many people right now doing similar things sneaking around because people can take it away from you.

People can try to help you try to put guard rails but until you decide I'm done with this you're going to keep finding a way to get what you want.

“And you have to make that decision like your parents said like your faith has to become your own.”

It has to be a priority for you. We can't make this a priority for you. It has to be a relationship that you find and that's how everything I want to assess to get to that point in our life. And I just yeah I love your honesty also that's why I love following you too because you're so authentic and like you're really good at being transparent and telling people how it really is but not. Also like holding things that are yours you know like yeah I feel like sometimes it's hard to find that balance and social media like being vulnerable but not sharing too much with the whole world.

And I feel like you do such a good job sharing things that are helpful to others and so thank you for sharing that part of your story so after that. How does life continue on you graduate high school you go to college what does that look like. You think that like after that like things chill out you know and I had my like moment where I'm like okay Lord I'm like my prodigal son moment I'm like I'm coming back to you. I actually it's funny how this happens I told my parents and I told the Lord like I'm not like chill from relationships because that was really bad.

Yeah and I did for a little bit and then I met my husband like a year and a half later in high school we started. You're you're better than me because you said that and it was year and a half later I said that in the next day I met Christian.

“I love that though and like I think it was it was super shocking for my dad like he literally got like he he will tell you he got nauseous.”

It can not only because it's his little girl and like I was kind of as pretty serious about Michael right away because like there was something different about him but also because he's like this is not what we talked about right. And so but yeah after that like meeting Michael so we've been high school sweetheart to got married a couple years after that but. After that was just a blessing because of what we went through previously fast forward still dating graduated high school. I had this plan and I'm very okay I'm not as much type anymore because I've had to release that just in general and then also being a mom and.

But I have always had a plan that I wanted to go into the medical field and I'm like either a nurse or a doctor something and I should look back because I wasn't very good at like science or math.

I was always really getting ready but I had this plan and I got accepted into this really awesome college kind of in our area moved down there moved into a really awesome like girls Christian home that like it all kind of like a girl's Christian so we're already. Like everything was kind of like falling into place and it felt like the Lord had really ordained it. To be there if we know for the next couple of years and a really crazy thing happened like a month in that the Lord and I had just this conversation clear as day about not being there.

And I really struggle with it because I thought Lord I don't want to leave. We've already had so many wrenches thrown into my plans like it's only been a month like you're not giving me a clear step of what's next you just are telling me not to be here. It was really difficult had to like pull out move back home with my parents they were really great but I just had this like. Ameless season when I was at home like I was working odd jobs in retail and it was fun but like I just didn't really feel like I knew what I was doing and for my personality it was really hard for me because I'm like I don't feel like I have purpose here God.

And just feel like you weren't supposed to continue on like the medical path or you didn't need to be like around those people what was the. So the people were great the atmosphere was awesome the school was great so like that was what was really confusing about it and maybe people can attest to this as well that like you can be in a situation. It feels really good and all of the details and logistics and it feels like it's from God but like for some reason he tells you no or tells you to leave and you're like why like this feels great.

So that was kind of my scenario and then that's hard because then if you don't get the answer why everybody else is going to be asking you why it's hard. It was embarrassing yeah because like I mean and for me I'm like people are going to think I failed or people are going to think like and everyone asked you like well what are you going to do next like it's always the question then you like feel intimidated by that but. It wasn't like the Laura was like you're not supposed to be in this in this field and this in this realm but it wasn't really clear on what was next and after being at home and working random jobs my parents are like you should just like go talk to someone at our church like like a counselor and mentor.

So I ended up meeting with her like almost every single week we'd have coffee and remember a couple weeks in she's like maybe like you should do some like.

But like actually dive into the word so I did that and I started doing some online like Hermanutics and theology classes and I just fell in love with scripture but I'm like I'm like I've known the Lord my whole life and I've like never known this though so that like really opened up a whole door for me and.

“I always loved like journaling and writing I had like a little laptop I bought when I was working from my dad at his farm in the summer as like I spent money to get this always writing and so Michael then.”

Boyfriend no husband at that point we weren't married yet but he was like why don't you like just like write things down just like kind of maybe it's cathartic you know so I like started like a little blog and.

Yeah and like that's kind of like the next phase but it's just so crazy the ways that God is working years tenfold even sometimes beforehand but it was really hard to see what he was doing.

It's great it's cool that you said you're like actually come to think about I'm actually not really good at that and really good at writing but we don't see that clearly in the moment you see that later when you look back like when people ask me about what I do I'm like I would never. I have thought of one since because I was so shy but then in another sense I look back and I was preaching on the counter to my parents so it's like okay now I see it clearly but. I definitely didn't at the time it felt shocking it felt intimidating for hard but when people see someone else thriving in the you know path that God has to them you just assume it was easy you just assume like oh you've always been here you've always been this person that's just so natural to you and it's like.

“I know it's actually stretching it's still hard I'm still you know getting on board because you're human and you have all the things that humans go through anxiety and the why questions and what what were you doing back there questions and.”

And it's so that's so real so I love this and one of the reasons I wanted to tell a kind of the background of your story is because so many people would do look at you and like how did you get to how do I want to do what you do I want to I want to write books I want to do this and everybody's path to that is so different everyone's journey to that is so different this is not. And I feel where you go oh well you go to college and get this major in the have like and actually I don't think really anybody's life works out like that you know even if you think you have like a straight lays path there's probably some twists and turns you didn't like do it but do think for like author writer speaker this it is no one stories the same you can ask anybody and it's like well this happened to not happen.

You started writing for a blog like your own blog and what did that look like did you have followers or people following along like how did you get started.

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And I wasn't like an OG blogger and I wasn't like doing fashion blogging but like I also felt like it was like kind of after everyone started and so like I don't think anyone knew what they were doing like yeah. I was doing I didn't know that like anyone read it I didn't know that it was a thing yeah like I know people say that but I genuinely did not and I was you know it was on things I was learning from my theology classes so it's like hey like.

When is this Hebrew word mean or I learned this in class or like like so it was just kind of like random musings you know.

“It was really random when you grow in your social media at the time too or your YouTube yeah or anything like none of that I mean I think I still had like my normal Instagram that had all of my like high school middle school awkward.”

Yeah with all the Instagram filters that they had you know I it wasn't even a thought to like make it a thing because when I was still doing this I was like. Lord I'm doing this in the meantime yeah like this is like a side thing like I'm gonna. Yeah I'm gonna wait until you figure out like where am I gonna go to college next or like what degree am I gonna get like it was so much like an afterthought kind of you know that is. I didn't do what he was doing yeah so what did it what when did you start to realize this is my thing.

I think it's more people started reading like like family shared it and then I think I started sharing a little bit on my Instagram like oh okay like maybe other people want to read it. And then it like kind of started growing and it was really weird like I'm like oh wait so people want to read and it was never like a career thing it was still like oh but like I have time to do this and like maybe grow it I don't know it was. Yeah but it was a slow burn and I think again people need to hear that in general like a lot of life is a slow burn a lot of stuff in your career is kind of like that just that ticking away that everyday obedience and that rhythm of just like showing up and.

“Yeah how honestly no expectations of what the what number it might be or what God may do with it yeah it's crazy so I'm holding your second book yeah now so obviously the blog took off a little bit.”

Yeah and your social media took off and all that different stuff when did you when did the blog turn into your first book and how did that all.

Okay so maybe five or six years after I started blogging so again like it wasn't like an overnight sensation which I think in the age right now you know as you're listening everyone's here like it's such a different. But like platform and landscape almost because I feel like a lot of people are going like viral overnight and like it's just like not my story but I'm really grateful because like I've also had a lot of like imposter syndrome and feeling like Lord of my equipment to do this like do I know the word enough to I know you enough like.

Giving people what they need and it's a lot of me realizing that like it's not about me it's about what God can speak through me but like I'm really glad because those years like really formed me to be like yeah I'm going to surrender this this is about you it's not about how I look or. What I know but like what you can speak through me right but it did take probably five or six years and I remember someone emailed me it was it was a publisher and they're like hey we've seen because I had a podcast I started a podcast for years before that and they're like hey like if you're thought about writing a book and I'm like actually yeah but I don't know how to go about it but it was just right after Michael and I got engaged in 2020.

And I'm like I'm planning a wedding and I want to like get settled so I'll like talk to you later if they crystallizes right and so then after we got married I'm like let's like pursue this but I was really hesitant I'm like I don't want to walk through a door that you don't have for me.

“So I'm like let's just take one step because I think for me again like I mentioned I'm super type A and I always thought like I need to have like the six steps in front of me laid out before I make a move.”

So I've been encouraged me other people were encouraging me and through prayer I'm like I'll just take one step if the door closes then we know that it's not what we need to pursue right now. And so I took the step and got some people to help me do a proposal and you know get the first book which is surrender your story figured out and we had so many people excited about it and so I'm like okay Lord I guess this is what you have and ever since then just kind of been taking the open doors from there and.

Really cool and interesting because I know your story more than those scenarios your story at the time you and Michael got married and then you start writing this book. You also like and expect to find out your pregnant so yeah so much so we got engaged in 2020 which you mentioned that so we live in Oregon. Okay this is I'll try to make this brief but like it's super wild or what a pie guess you can be broke. Okay, I'm so I love this no yeah so in 2020 August 2020 we got engaged and then a month after there were wildfires I went all throughout Oregon we didn't get affected thankfully my parents had actually have to evacuate but their house was fine.

But like literally where we got engaged which is like 15 minutes away from where we live like a lot of it got burned down. So what if house is a lot of like our like park and stuff or like national park and stuff it's like that was really crazy. We're playing a wedding during during that and then we had an ice storm a week before our wedding because it got married.

So first fire in August and then February that that next year we had an ice storm that took out the power in our area for like two weeks.

We might just have to power the venue with like 15 generators. So like we had all that up and thank goodness the Lord was so a parent and evident and we didn't have to do that everything was fine.

“Like all that was crazy and then I think it was July just a couple months after that I found out was pregnant and I'm like.”

Not a part of the plan again so quick. Was definitely not dry. We were really shocked and honestly Michael and I both.

I mean I'm going to be honest there was a period not that we never wanted the baby.

Yeah, but we were just I think a little bit disappointed by the circumstances and by the by the the timing. Yeah, again, not by the baby. We we've always wanted a family we know what a gift they are no matter when they go. But I think it was just another one of those things where we're like Lord this is not all we are ready for. And so by the time it was a month after our first year of marriage then we had our first well and you were writing your book during that time. Yeah, oh I actually turned my book manuscript in a week before hunter was born.

Oh man. I can't remember the timeline but I remember like being super pregnant I'm like I gotta get this in before I give her baby because I mean you know this. When you're even if you have all the help in the world but some grateful for my family like it's hard. Like I'm trying you know like with them like you're nursing a baby or you're chasing them. Yeah, yeah.

I remember my book was due. The week honey was due. Oh yeah, as well. When I turned my book in and I was like okay, I got it done. Then had honey and then they sent me my edits back. Like the next. And they're posting out of my clothes part of and I'm looking at it and like oh my gosh.

So then I'm trying to edit this book and it's like not where I wanted it to be.

And I have a newborn trying to figure out life as a mom and then for some reason we thought it was a great idea to host our first conference ever.

Three months after I had honey, right out there in the midst of the edits and all that led me to like my first encounter with burnout. And I have to say before I experienced this, I did not really think burnout was a legit thing. I did for older people. I did it for younger people. Okay. I felt like okay, I can see you've been working like for so long.

You get burnout. Yes.

“But I would hear young people say like you're burning out. I was like, come on. Why?”

You're so much energy. We have to see you all. And then I was like, hold up. Why am I struggling so bad? And for me, I got like super anxious, like had bad postpartum anxiety. And then I just, it's hard to say, but like nothing excited me.

Like any event that I had on the calendar, I would like hope it got canceled. I didn't want to show up. I didn't want to do anything else. And then even like to read my Bible, I would get super anxious because I would feel like I have to make whatever I read into a message or into a word.

And so like I didn't want to read the Bible. I started getting distant. Yeah. And it really freaked me out because I was like, oh my gosh, I'm only what was I 24. And I was like, I already feel burnt out.

And what does that mean for the rest of my life? Yeah. I remember actually sitting with Jenny Allen. And it was unexpected that I was even going to see her. And I just was like super honest.

I was like, Jenny, I'm really struggling. Like I can't remember. But I don't feel excited about anything. Like I want things to be canceled. I want to just like quit everything.

Yeah. And then she was like, okay. And then she said, well, you're just burnt out. And then she said, but I want to give you hope. She said, I've been here three times.

And it gave me so much hope because in my mind, I was like, burnout means you're done. But it's like, no, okay. Burn it up. Just happens.

And you can get back up. But you can keep going. You just got to get healthy again. And so I love that you wrote this book.

We're booked to never well.

Because I've certainly felt overbooked over well. So many times in my life. And even experience that period. I would say that was the only time I experienced. Like the true feeling of like, oh, I don't know how I'm going to do this.

Yeah. But your story reminds me so much of mine. So many parallel things of like, I was trying to write a book. And I was having a new one. I just kept trying to go and then all the things get crazy.

So I'm so interested in how like panda after your first baby that led you to writing a book like this. Because you don't write a book like this because you know everything about it. You write a book like this because you want to. Oh, yes.

No, and genuinely, and I want to say this.

“And I think people know this, but I want to say it again.”

And you know this. Like I did not write from a place of perfection. I wrote from a place of absolute brokenness. Like burned out and like having to rebuild with the Lord. And I still like even on our way here.

I was reading my book not for vanity. But like feeling that way again, right? And needing to remind myself of God's truth in this. But very similar as well where I wrote this book. Let's see here.

I think I was I wrote it about like a year and a half after my first.

I'm like I said like I turned the book in.

And then not only just like book stuff or work things, but just trying to figure out how to be a new mom. Being postpartum. And all the things that you don't see on social media. Like I'm trying to keep my house clean.

And I'm trying to make dinner for my family every night. And I'm trying to go to church and serve. And invite people on our home and make the doctor's appointments. And I hope that I'm not making anyone like nervous hearing that. But like sometimes I feel that way.

Like there's so much stuff, right? And I in the midst of that, right? Like you would think that the Christian answer. Which is the right answer. But the Christian answer that we know in our head is like when we feel that way.

When we feel overwhelmed when we feel like we're on the verge of burn out. When we're exhausted, like we should run to the Lord. We should go to his word. See what he has to say. Not take on all the burns cast our cares, right?

First Peter 5.7. But instead, I thought that would be better for me to like keep Piling things on because I'm like I have to keep moving. If I stopped to talk to the Lord. If I stopped open the word.

If I stopped to. Well, heaven forbid, take a break from work or something. Then everything's going to come crashing down. And so I kept just running. I kept doing things.

I kept adding things. And I also just distracted myself a lot. And what I mean by that is like numbing out on social media. Or like maybe going to other comforts like food. Again, things that maybe aren't bad. But aren't like my true source of fulfillment and rest.

So it was a big season of continuing to pile things on because I thought the pressure was on me. And then just numbing out with other things.

“And so that's why I wrote the book because I was such a shell of a human.”

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“And even today, you ask me, you're like, how's your more is like it's great?”

And I was like, yes, your morning was not great. Yes, your morning was crazy. I mean, literally just then having three kids Christian went hunting. So we left up four. And when he opened the door, the little alarm went off.

So it woke up all three kids. Oh, no. Yeah. All three kids are awake at four and I'm like, oh man. And so then haven is like wanting to save on my side.

Not one to go to sleep. Honey's mad at Haven because she's layin by me and bullball and the kids cry. I'm trying to get her back to sleep and it's like this whole thing. Yeah. And then we get up for school and everything goes crazy.

Then in the morning and it's like that, if it's not right. And then this isn't right. And then that, and that spiral so quickly. So quickly. And then to top it all off, someone had just said something to me.

That morning about one more thing I needed to do that I hadn't gotten done. And it just sent me. And I literally started to cry that tears started just willing and up in my eyes.

“And honey looked at me and she said, why are you crying?”

Like you're not so sick. Like you're the mom. But as the mom sometimes you feel it. It's like, I can't cry. Like I can't have a moment of weakness because if I have a moment of weakness.

And it's like, how is everybody else going to make it? Because you put it all on yourself to keep it up for everybody? Yeah. And it was actually like a sweet moment between me and honey because I was able to tell her. I was like, mommy's trying my best to do things for all of y'all.

And I just said, I'm trying my best and I'm tired this morning. And I'm sorry that I'm crying, but this is just real. And like, she got to see that in me. And then I said, hey, will you listen to my devotional with me? And we listen to it together.

I love that.

Oh, you know, like, kind of like, oh, yeah, you're over on your show.

So you cried you failed. Yeah.

“But it's like, no, God is allowing me to show honey how to overcome”

when you feel exhausted and when you feel tired. Right. You don't have to be perfect as the mom. Like, you can be a human. Yeah.

And I just can relate to that so much like what you're saying. And numbing is a big thing for me. Yeah. I do unintentionally. But like, social media, I'll just scroll.

And like, just trying to think about all the things I have going on. And so right now, I have social media all apps related. Because I'm like, I don't want to turn there. Right. And I know it's kind of like the iPad thing for you.

It's like, it's an option to have it. Like, if I really Instagram, I'm going to Facebook. I'm going to Facebook. I'm going to Facebook. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to get it all out because I don't want to numb. And I love that. And your book you make a point to say like numbing. Like, what did you say? I think I wrote it down.

Oh, like, fight the numbness. Yeah. Because it's actually good to like feel those things and have those thoughts. Yeah. How do you, for you, like, for me, it looks like deleting it.

And like, actually, yeah, kind of forcing it. Yeah. What does that look like for you? I think it's the same. And I would say it's something that we all need to do.

Like, maybe if people say, like, oh, I can use like the, what do you call? Like, the screen time thing on your phone? Or if I can just like put my phone in another room? I don't know.

“You have to be like the strongest person in the world.”

Maybe it works for some people. But it's in my room. I don't know if I had 15 minutes. Seriously. Oh, actually, just recently got the brick thing.

Have you? I'm just got that. I actually love it. It's been really great. But I think things like that or deleting it or like, turn your phone off.

And realizing, I don't need to be reachable all the time. And also reminding yourself that like, we were not created for all this information. And like, just so much our fingertips in, you know, in a device and to be so on all the time. So yeah, I think for me, deleting all those things that are in the way. But then like, replacing them with things that are life-giving, right?

It's good. So like, if you're numbing with one thing, I say this in the book too. If you're numbing or distracting with one thing. It's that thing is maybe not necessarily a bad thing. It's just that's getting too much of you.

And so how can you replace that with something else that may give you more life? May give you more joy, more presence with Jesus or your family? Because I think like when we're scrolling, we want to just be comfortable. We want to relax, we want to rest, we just want to have a moment. So then if you replace that with something else.

Like maybe that's like going on a walk by myself with a girlfriend, going to coffee, hanging out with my kids, watching a movie with my family. Like, what does that look like in, like, as an exchange? I think that's really helpful. Because like, I think they say it's all the time.

And like, have it formation in all these studies.

“Like, you have to replace it or like stack it with something else that makes it more doable.”

Makes it more life-giving. And honestly, making it attractive too. Like, that sounds really kind of cheesy. But like, we do have to do those things. Like, get us out of that rut, you know?

Oh, it's true.

My, basically, whenever I went through that whole burnout season and

didn't know how to get out of it. And then going to this guy, he's kind of like, he helps you life plan. And he's amazing. Really? I'm the podcast.

Yes. I love that episode. I know he's so amazing. And what he told me to do, he's like, you need to do more things that cause your mind to be like, no.

No, in a sense, but not like, mindless. Mindless things that give back to you. And he caught it like the green zone. And so for me, that looks like walks. Yeah.

It looks like a game. I'm such a game. More of it. Like, like, like, cards. We're much on, let's do something.

Yeah, movies with our family. Like, anything like that that it does help your brain slow down. It'd be great. But it also gives back to you, you know? And it's like, good for you.

And so I love that advice in the book. Also, one of the things he helped me with is the pattern of my life that I had been on. And the, I guess, I even know the word for it. But the rate I was going was not sustainable.

It was like, I had to shift. Like, that was when you said, if I don't keep it to go, everything's going to crash down. Yeah. What you don't realize in that is if you keep going at this rate,

you're going to crash down. Oh, yeah. And so I was crashing down. I was like, this is not working. And he was like, we do need to restructure some things

in your life. And it was really, really helpful for you. How is that looked like? Because I love the partner book. We talked about like learning no and boundaries and like learning how to move forward

and say no. Because it is hard. It's hard to say no. It's hard to restructure. Because you got even though it's hard, you get used to that pace.

Oh, yeah. Even if it will end up being the thing that makes you like. Right. Completely faint pastel all the things like you get used to it. How did you know?

Like, it's my time to slow down. And I have to learn how to say no. If the biggest thing for me was I realized what a not great. Just not like, like, daughter of Jesus, but also wife and mom I was. I wasn't doing any of those well.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like really hard to admit. But like, I say this is my book. I've been there.

My sweet husband over here. I just remember one moment.

It's like the first page of the book where I like I snapped at him doing dishes at midnight.

And I'm not a night owl. And I like admitted to him that like if I didn't finish this, that everything was going to fall apart. Like I literally said that over the dishes. But like what I love about this message in this conversation.

Like we all feel this way. Totally. Right. Like whether you work on nine to five or work from home or your wife or your mom or your in school or high school, like whatever.

“Like I think we're all so busy and we're all listening to the cultural narrative that we have to do it all and be at all,”

especially I think as women, right?

Like women have a lot of unique amazing roles.

But we pile them on so much. And I realized it was when I was not treating the people in my life. Great. I was not being a really like loving wife or mom. And I was the snippy just angsty version of me all the time.

So I just realized how it was affecting other people as well. And it was affecting my relationship with God. And so there's a chapter in the book that you mentioned about just like saying no. Like giving your best yes and and also you're no. And there's a story.

I love neomyostory and scripture. It's like one of my favorite Old Testament books. And I was rereading it like before I wrote the book. I remembered that there's actually so much in EMI as life that teaches us about this. Because he was given us, he was given by God an incredible purpose, right?

To rebuild the walls. But he also had a lot of opposition. He had a lot of noise. He had people that came up against him. He had distractions.

He had other things he could be doing. And I know he wasn't perfect. But we read in his story that every time someone came to distract him. Every time there was something else. He would literally respond to them and say,

I can't come down and talk to you right now. I have better work to do. I have a job to do, right? So he was saying yes to what God had for him and note other people.

“But like I think sometimes we get that mixed up.”

And it's like if I say no to this person or this job or this opportunity or this, like social activity, if I say no, then I'm like going to lose out. And I'm going to let people down. But like when you say no to something, you also gain something else, right? And I had to remember that and be like,

Honestly, if I'm giving too many essays, then I am not going to leave much of myself left for what God has for me, right? And I know God can work through my weaknesses. But I also don't want to just be this like just totally torn apart version of myself. Like I write in the book too that God does not call you to wash yourself out like a wash cloth.

Like ring yourself out completely in his name. Like that's not what he wants us to do. And so I just I think back to your question was that I just realized the effects that it was not only having on my relationship with God because I felt so distant, but also how I was treating other people in my life.

Such a real come to Jesus moment. Yeah, I know what Pete Richardson said to me. He said, if you do this, you're going to make it very hard on your family. If you do this and I just broke it, start crying. I was like the same. That's the last thing I want.

Do you think you're doing it for them? I think you're doing it for them. Yeah, yeah. And thankfully like this conversation happened in my life when honey was like six months old. And I'm really thankful for that like intervention there.

But also I just want to say to moms out there, you might be looking at your kid in their 7 8 9 13 14 15, you might be thinking, oh, it's too late. It's never too late. It's never too late to go, okay. I'm going to give a solo or I'm going to become a more present mom.

And I'm going to and you can always say sorry to your kids as such a powerful thing.

Sorry to your friends or so. Just saying sorry like, hey, I recognize that I haven't been the best friend. I recognize that I haven't been the best mom. I've been distracted or I've been this. There's so much power in that humility, you know, and so.

And for me, I just as hard a Christian like, hey, I'm sorry I've been making our schedule so busy. I've been putting that in front of our marriage. I didn't mean to do that. But I just kept saying yes, not realizing that those yeses, although have opportunities also have consequences. Right.

“And so I had to learn that at that time of like, okay, what are my priorities and how did I fall?”

For us like ministry is our first ministry is our home and our kids, it's our family. That has to not only be said, but that has to be lived out in Britain. And then everything else is the overflow and everything else is all together, you know? Right. So I'm making decisions now totally different in the way I used to make decisions.

And I love how Craig Grishel says is it's like, he has this advice to pre-decide and determine your decision. So therefore like, okay, these are the things that are important to me at the time of my life. And when you pre-decide, when another opportunity comes and it's like, hey, can you do this? It's like, well, already said, okay, these are the values that I'm saying yes or no to. So now I can weigh that and I can say no because I already said it.

And actually came as well like, I'll give you a practical example yesterday. Okay, so we're going on this tour and it's in February. And I had to kind of make some decisions that I wanted to just be too weak, which is not a long tour, but I was like, I just feel like I need to be present with my family.

And they're going to come out on the road with us the second week.

So we had the decision made. Well, yesterday I got a call on their like, hey, I know your family's on the road with you, but during one of the days, can you come and do this whole other thing at the college campus and all this stuff? And they said, don't give me an answer now. And I was like, actually, I can't give you an answer now.

I don't have to say no because I had already pre-decided that week and as a week in my family's there and during the day, we're going to do fun stuff as family. That helps with your yessies and your nose to go like, I know, I've already decided even if it's tempting,

Yeah, there are sometimes you'll feel the Lord go, no, you should do that. That is fun. That's exciting. Yeah. But I felt like that really helped me. Yeah.

Since writing this book, how do you feel like this message has helped you in all of that stress and the over on that you were feeling like, how do you feel now? Now that you're going to be perfect. Right. But how has this message even changed your home?

I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what ifs. What if I fail? What if it isn't where I need to be? And looking back, I can see so clearly that God had his hand in the whole thing. Starting something new is exciting, but it's also very scary.

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“I think that totally, and it's not like an original idea.”

Like you said in Craig, I said it, and I say in my book too, that when we play in our wedding, I chose a big three. We chose a big three, where it was like, these are the three things that are the biggest in our budget that we want to spend our time on. And so kind of navigating that in our life too. Like obviously it's so Lord, it's our family and it's like our ministry.

Like whatever that looks like whether it's work or in our church or whatever. And so everything has kind of filtered through that. And I also wanted to say too that like when you pre-decide or when you get your priorities straight, it actually helps you to do those things with excellence, right? Because like before I was doing maybe like 30 things versus like maybe five.

You know, and then it's like those 30 things were not done well with excellence on to the Lord, you know? But I can really have more margin to be able to do those things well. So I would say that's probably one of the biggest things but also presence. Just being present with the Lord, this book has changed my life in that. Because like I said I've like known the Lord my whole life, I've like read his, I've read the Bible so many times.

And yet like failing and then learning all of this over the last couple of years I realize like I had this in my mind.

“I think that being with the Lord and the Word or in prayer or just in general was like confined to like my quiet time in the morning.”

Like okay, I'm going to open up my word for an hour with my highlighters, my coffee, my hot cup of coffee, not cold, but my coffee's always cold these days.

But like I just like kind of think that like that was my time to be present with the Lord. And then I shut the Bible and I go and do my day. But like reading scripture, like even just thinking the Old Testament, right? Like people had to go to the temple and like go to someone on their behalf to go to the Lord for them. The presence of God, right?

But like since Jesus came on to the scene with the Holy Spirit, we have 24/7 access to Jesus. But something that hit me and writing this was that Jesus is always present. But like I put things in the way like distractions or other parties that are bigger than him in my mind. And so I just have to like get creative about how to push those things aside and to be present with him. And so this book changed my life and realizing that like I don't have to wait for the perfect moment.

I can whisper a prayer up to him while I'm driving while I'm working while I'm with my kids while I'm getting unready for the night or ready for the day. And I think that was also just a huge wake up call for me. And then maybe we'll talk about those in a minute. But another thing that changed in my life was the pace that I was running at. And I know we mentioned this, but I looking at Jesus' life. Of course Jesus was perfect and he's fully God, but he's also fully man.

And Jesus had the greatest purpose on the earth that anyone ever has or ever will. And yet he was still able to take an app and to recline at a table and to walk for hours and hours because they didn't have cars. They had to take time to get places like Jesus still had that woven into his rhythm.

And so studying in the Gospels and preparing for this book too is incredible to see like, well Jesus, like, just as how he did it.

And this is how he sustained it. This is how he taught people to do it well. Like, I'm still not perfect, but like, it's been, oh, it's in the back of my head now and I do things. I'm like, wait. What was that truth again? So good. We do live in this culture that like, you know, if you take a nap, you're weak, you're tired, you're like, don't rest. But actually, if you let back some of the best thinkers of the previous generation.

Yeah, every single day. I had to go look up really pretty. Yeah, yeah, it's like, I don't want to watch it because I don't want to say the wrong person.

I'm going to look it up and I'm going to put it up here because I don't want to say the wrong name.

But I found it fascinating. They napped every day. And I was like, wow. What? Like 20 minute power naps, talking naps here and there and then just rest it. Like their pace was so different than ours.

“And I think it has a lot to do with social media. I think we got to keep up.”

We got to go out and get this every day. Yeah. And I'm like, no, we don't like, I love Christine Kane said it past in this year. March by God is so much better than me marketed by man. Oh, that's good. You think I got to do all this stuff to get known.

It's like, nope, if you're a march by God, you can rest in that. So go ahead to Russia and Jesus is the prime example of that. I love that. Yeah, there's even just something, again, like you hear the story of Moses and Manna all the time. I'm a God provided with Manna, but like, you know, you did the on the felt bars in Sunday school.

And then now as I got older, I realized like, that told them, so only store up what you need today. Because if you store up more during the week, it's going to go bad. People tried that and didn't work. But then he said, store up the day before your Sabbath and extra helping. So that on the Sabbath that you'll have enough and that won't go bad.

And like you just hear stories of that throughout scripture, where like you realize, God really cares about rest. And you know, Sabbath is going to look different for everyone. And I write that on my book too. It's not maybe going to look like a nap every day or maybe it's not going to look like a full day where you can just throw your phone away. Like, it's going to look different and practice for all of us in a different day.

“But I just, I think we have to remember just how much God cares about Sabbath and how much he cares about our health.”

And also just our bodies. Like, it's not just about our spirit. I also say this in the book too.

I remember in that passage in the first desolonyans that God says like that you were, you were created whole like I made you whole when I came to redeem you Jesus on the cross.

I came to make you whole. You're not a fragmented person in me. You may feel that way in this earthly body, but like you are whole. And so treating your whole self too and reminding that you're reminding yourself of that rest is important to it helps you do it well. So good. Yeah. These are some of them done, but you know, no, this is so good. We all need this advice.

It's crazy. I look over at the time where we're already at 50 minutes. Oh, dang. Which is so crazy. But I love that even saying that I wrote this in the book.

I read this in the book. Yeah. Don't worry, friend.

“If you need a lot more advice than Terry, you can go read her book.”

And there's so much more in the book overbook and overwhelmed.

Now to mention your social media is amazing.

You do such a good job. You are a sister and a friend. Just so many people. And I'm grateful for your influence. And I'm grateful that all of the way that's good listening is we're saying,

have tears on our head. That is so sweet. It's been a blessing to get taught today. And I also want to mention that she gave me the cutest little cross necklace this morning that you make in that you sell.

So tell everybody where we can follow along your life and see all the things that you're putting out. You're so kind. Yeah. I'm on Instagram at Ms. Terristan.

And I have a podcast called Truth Talks with Tara. Sadie's been on. So go listen to our episode. That was like years ago. Which is so fun.

Yeah. Yeah. And then you can grab my books. Any more books are sold on Amazon or your favorite place. And yeah.

I wanted to bring Sadie in every day cross. And I made this because I wanted a tangible reminder. I love like girly things. But I also just wanted a reminder that I was around my neck. That the gospel sustains me and provides for me.

And the Lord is for me. And I don't have to do this alone. Very much in theme of what we talked about. So beautiful. Yeah.

I love it. Thanks for reading on the podcast. Thanks, friend. [MUSIC PLAYING]