The Most Redacted Episode Ever | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

From a low-tempo, top-tempo, robust gardener, better to take a picture of a car.

“"With action, quality and the niedristic price, in hand, in hand, in the case of all garden products in our region and in the action app, action, small prices, big people."”

Welcome to another episode of Two Bears One Cave. For everybody that has not yet done up, we want to remind you that we are doing the Two Bears 5K May 9th at the Pasadena Rose Bowl. This is a part of this comes out before May. I think this is coming in September. Oh, cool. This is a good point. We should have come up before then. This is part of a Netflix as a joke festival. Tons of comedians will be there. It's been so fun. This is our third in a row, and our second time back at the Rose Bowl.

It really is like so cool, whether you're an avid runner or you're a beginner or you weigh four or five hundred and six hundred pounds. Whatever your condition is, you can walk it, you can crawl it, you can get spit on as you do it, you can get run over by a golf cart. You can run as fast as you walk. We've almost done as many five cases episodes this year. Yeah, it's awesome. And we're going to, it's going to be a wrap. This is it. This is it, guys. No, I'm excited for the 5K. I'm really excited.

“Oh, and of course, hold on. You got a register at Two Bears 5K.com. So if you want to do it, Two Bears 5K.com.”

It's going to be big this year, and I am the best shape I've ever been in.

I've ever been in. I've never felt lighter on my feet. Well, maybe because you're one of the lightest you've been in years.

I'm the lightest I've been in. Oh, wow, and probably 22 years. What? Yeah. Wait, how much do you weigh? I don't talk about weight now. I've changed my digital footprint Tom. I don't show my workouts. I don't talk about weight. I don't post pictures of how fucking amazing I look. I just, I just do the work, Tom. Cool. How much do you weigh?

I don't know. You know. I'm, let's just say, 220s.

“You're in your 220s right now. Yeah. And you were in 270.”

275. So you've lost like over 50 pounds. Oh, yeah.

She's a price man. I've never felt lighter on my feet in my entire life.

And like the other day, we were in Chicago or no, in DC. And I got out of my boss. I was just staying there for two days. Yeah. And I ran five miles so effortlessly that I was like, I was like, this is crazy. Here's the other thing. I'm sleeping 10 to 12 hours a night. 10 to 12 hours a night. Dude, on the road, I'm sleeping aggressively like an eighth grader. Are you taking something to sleep? Nope. I'm so dumb. And I want to just preface this with I am disgusted by sobriety talk.

It's all that's in my feet. That's all that comes my way is some broken toy telling me how to live my life. Some fucking X horror from Philly telling me how to fucking optimize my life. And telling me about BPC-157 and test time. It's you're so late to the fucking game. All of you fucking. That's that. Very point back when I was drinking, you know what I used to do. I'd bring a water bottle full of vodka. And then if I didn't suck you guys dick before the show started and you're like, you're in a different page and I am okay. Stop doing these testimonials.

It's all I get. My whole feet is sobriety talk. And I'm exhausted. The only person I listen to when it comes to sobriety is Nick Sworton. He seems to have the he's the almost even killed mother fucker. And by the way, him talking about his sobriety is him and shy of the both. Shia is Shia was refreshing when he talked about freedom and one knee able to put your foot in the mysticism every now and then. Yeah, dude. It's that interview with Shia was fucking incredible. I'm going to put a pin in Shia and Nick okay because we're back to that. Yeah sure.

So I don't like talking about like sobriety and every stuff, everything, but yeah. But I, you know, obviously with the blood kind of can't drink and then I haven't leaned into weed yet because I haven't really, I didn't.

I never really like, I didn't turn a corner on like the enjoying the sobriety until too late.

Yeah. So I didn't want to go right into weed to like try to find happiness immediately. And I've been now for a couple months not dot to anything. Dude, I sleep like crazy. I sleep. I sleep close my eyes and wake up easy every night 10 hours later. If I allow myself to go back to sleep, I sleep 12 hours. My scores are in the green almost every night on my whoop to my whoo hours. I'm, I'm, I'm, I've been in sleep debt Tom in two months. I've been out of sleep debt. I've lowered my biological age.

You need a check into a mental health facility. This is what sobriety does to people Tom. It makes it crazy.

And they start believing their own fucking cool. They're drinking. So, so are you like fully sober then? I mean, nothing. Coffee? That's it. That's it. And you're, you're 220s and you run five miles effortlessly effortlessly 10 to 12 hours a night. It, it's crazy. Now, what's happening going to bed, bro? I went to bed at like nine o'clock last night.

He slept till nine. I slept till eight thirty this morning. Jesus Christ. And Tom, I don't move. I stopped snoring. I don't, I don't store anymore. Uh-huh. And the ant and I have separate bedrooms. She's gone. It's me and the house. I've separate bedrooms now. She kicked out of her bags. I was snoring.

And I sleep.

I mean, I don't, I have amazing dreams. And I remember all my dreams when I wake up.

I wake up. I have a cup of coffee. I journal. I go into the gym. I work out. I come.

“I mean, like it's on the road. The only thing this sucks is like the witching hour when you'd want to have a drink.”

Just still think about it. What's that hour? Well, it starts around noon and goes to, no. No, it's like, when, like, today it'll be like six o'clock. Seven o'clock in the sun starts setting. Yeah. And on the road, it's, uh, right when I tell the machine story. Like when I store on tour,

right when I tell the machine story, I, I, I'm like, I look to my drinks and I go, I would love a little. Yeah, little. Yeah. I would love weed. I would love weed, but I haven't had it yet. And so I'm just kind of like, I'm waiting till, I'm waiting till I don't think about it. Like, you know what I thought today, Tom, and I think me and you or the only one, not the only one, thought the people have been injured. But do you remember when you injured yourself and then you were like,

kind of going like, timid on bench press and timid on squats and then one day you didn't think about it. Maybe you just went for squats. That's what I'm going to do with weed. One day is just going to eat a bag of weed. Yeah, when I'm not thinking about it, when I'm not going like, I need something to turn in the corner. And then I can't drink until not counting, but July 12th. And so July 12th, I don't know if I'll drink that day,

or maybe like a month before, but I don't know. Yeah. What's up with this Tarantino Rosanna, our cat and word thing? What? I know. I just, I don't know. I've just seen something. What is that? She's, she's, she's, okay, personally, I am overly used to the, I hate it. Our cat said an interview cannot stand that Tarantino has given a hall pass.

“It's not art. It's just racist and creepy. All right. So that's what she said.”

On Monday, he said, um, I hope the publicity you're getting from 132 different media allies writing your name. Printing your picture was worth disrespecting me in a film. I remember quite clearly, you were thrilled to be a part of. He wrote an estateman addressed rightly to our cat in the movie. Our cat played Jodie wife to Eric Stoltz's drug dealer character. He's talking to course about pull fiction.

Do you feel this way now? Very possibly Tarantino continued. But after I gave you a job and you took the money to trash it for what I suspect is very cynical reasons. Showed a decided lack of class no less honor. Our cat's criticism of Tarantino's use of the end word is, is far from the first express, of course.

It's uttered about 20 times in pull fiction and Django and change and change. It's uttered 110 times. However, Tarantino's use of the end word in the screenplay has long been defended by that film star Samuel Jackson and his frequent collaborator Samuel Jackson. Oh, sorry, Jamie Foxx and Samuel Jackson. Here's his, yeah, we saw that we read that already.

This is supposed to be in the spree, the core between artistic colleagues, but it would appear the objective was accomplished. Congratulations, cue. He's really been, though, like this on this tear of just shitting on people, I guess.

I always find it interesting when somebody that's like high, high level, high accomplished will

take the time to speak out about criticism. A lot of people would just go, like, I'm not responding to that.

“Yeah, however, I think when it's that close to home, like if it's, if it's”

right because she's in the movie. Yeah, and she was friends with them. Well, yeah, I mean, she got hired for the job and she did take, I do think that that's a thing too. It's like you, you, you're in the movie. You took the gig. You didn't complain about the script then. And then 30 some years later, you're like, you know what? I'm sick of your shit. It's like, you didn't have that

problem when you were working for me. And you didn't, and I mean, I'm, by the way, I don't, I don't dislike Rosanna Arquette. I actually like Rosanna Arquette.

there's, there's a, like an intangible in this is that she allowed herself to get the crowd from pulp fiction. It was a hot fucking movie and she was at it. Yeah. Like, and being in a hot movie does something for your career for sure. And then to, and then to, that's like if that would be,

“I honestly akin to, do you remember all the comedians that have shit on”

Rogan who have been on Rogan? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And that is the exact same thing. And then you're like, well, you didn't have a problem doing Rogan. Yeah. And you were cool with him when you hung out and played pool with him. And you were cool with him when he was, but then when he didn't call you back. Yeah. Cause he thought he felt like you were off on a couple things.

Then you go off and you fucking spiral out against him. That's ridiculous. We don't take movies when they want them.

But then they're like, I got a problem with this guy. It's always bothered me

when people do that to him. I mean, they do it to us. But it's no one notices when they do it to us. Right, right, right. Yeah. No, I know. It's, it's, yeah. And then, but like the difference, I think, is that like, a lot of times, like, he basically ignores everybody. Yep.

He's been lighting up people kind of just out of nowhere for no reason at all. And I think really? The twinterrent, you know? Didn't know just about Joe. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, he's been going off on people. Yeah. So what did you say about Joe? That Joe just ignores all criticism. I mean, he gets a lot of it

because his show is so massive and he's such a huge media figure. But like, he's just like, whatever, like, I don't think, most of the time, I've been like, oh, did you see that? And he's like, huh?

He doesn't even know about it.

There was someone who said something about me and him and trash both of us. And I said to him, did you see that? And he was like, oh, he's a good guy. I want really, because yeah, you know, he just tries to get attention every now and then, but you know, he's a good guy. And I was like, okay, it hurt my feelings. And he was like, oh, don't let it. If you saw me give you a big hug, you know that.

And I was like, okay, I was like, wow, I wish I wasn't so sensitive. I wish I was a little more like, like, you and Joe, where I was just like, I didn't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I really think he ignores completely. And then I probably just care less. You don't care at all.

You are what the problem with, with America's me. Yeah. Yeah. If it doesn't affect you, it doesn't bother you. Like, there's certain things that affect you. But they're, they're so nonsensical that that's what bothers you. And I've seen the things that bothered you and they're so silly.

They're so silly. I'm not going to say them. They're so silly. I'll say them. But like, sometimes I'll tell you, I'll tell you one, and I won't say it out loud. But sometimes with someone things that can't, like an innocuous comic is funny. And everyone's like, that guy's funny.

And then you, and I say he's funny. And you go, hold on, you think he's funny? And then I go, yeah, and you go, yeah. But I'm not telling you and you can edit it out. No, no, no, no, you don't have to. I think, but like, those are the, it's a weird thing.

“That's what I go, like, why does he give a fuck about that?”

Like, that is so not on my radar, any other comic. But like, that one, there was like a couple times it's happened where you, and it's someone no one talks about, yeah. And I'm like, really? Like, that's the thing. But you don't even have that quality though about, like,

talking about comics, that's in every comics DNA, like, talking about who's funny, who's not like, that's everybody. I think so, yeah. And I think it's, it's, it's, I'm sure it happens with chefs. I'm sure. Yeah. For sure. There, I think they have more hatred in their hearts than we do.

They are vicious, man. When you bring a child into the world, your perspective changes overnight. Suddenly you're thinking about the years ahead about child care and school, and the milestones you can't wait to see. And for me, part of loving my family,

meant thinking about the future, even the uncomfortable ways. Life insurance is absolutely not a fun topic. Let's not mask that.

“But it's one you need to think about, and I'm so glad I found out about ethos.”

When I started the Life Insurance conversation, I was too young for it. That's when it should happen when you're too young for it. You should get it right now. If you're even thinking, I don't need that today. That's who needs it. There's no complicated process. It is 100% online.

No medical exam required. You just answer a few health questions. And that is what you want. You can get a quote in seconds. Apply literally in minutes and get the same day coverage.

You can get up to $3 million in coverage.

Some policies as low as $30 a month build monthly. Ethos has a 4.8 out of 5 star on trust pilot with over 3,000 reviews. Protect your family with life insurance from ethos now. By going to ethos dot com slash bears in as little as 10 minutes. You can get a free quote and up to $3 million in coverage at ethos dot com slash bears.

Application times and rates may vary.

When hair starts to thin confidence can too.

“That's why hymns makes it simple to feel like yourself again with access to simple personalized care”

that fits your life and your hair goals. Do not need to improvise this. I've started a new hair regiment. And it is including finest ride early. And topically Mont noxidil. I don't know exactly what my things are.

But I'm documenting it. I started today by the time. June comes. I should look totally different. I'm not going to show you what I have today. But all of a sudden my hair started. I felt like it was thinning even more than it ever has.

The way hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work. Including choose oral medications and serums and sprays. I'm on two of those. Doctor trusted ingredients. Doctor trusted ingredients. That's all I needed to hear like finest ride.

My dad's on finest ride and he still has hair. My dad's on it for a different reason. And all of a sudden a side effect was hair. And I looked at my dad's hair the other day and I was like, wow. I'm inoxidil now. I've been on monoxidil since I was 22.

And it can stop further hair loss and regrow in as little as 3 to 6 months on count on 3. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Hymns brings expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatment plans

that put your goals first.

No hidden fees, no supplies costs. Just real personalized care on your schedule. Think of Hymns as your digital front door that gets you back to your old cell. For simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns. All in one simple place.

For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss. Weight loss. I'm killing two birds with one stone right there. And more visit hymns.com/bearers. That's hymns.com/bearers for your free online visit hymns.com/bearers.

Feature products include compounded drug products with the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality prescription required.

“See website for full details restrictions and important safety information.”

Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxidil and finance ride. Let's talk about investing for a minute. If you're looking to make your money work for you. Acorns is your answer.

It's the financial wellness app that cares about where your money is going to and tomorrow not just where it's sitting today. With their potential screen feature, you can see how your money is projected to grow over time. Based on how much you're putting in every day, week or month. It's the all in one app that allows you to invest, save and track your money all in the same place.

We have a bunch of people here at YMH that are huge fans and actually have been investing and seeing their finances take off by using acorns. You can sign up now and acorns will drop a $5 bonus investment into your new account.

Join the over 14 million all-time customers.

We've already saved and invested over $27 billion with acorns. Go to acorns.com/bears or download the acorns app to get started. Paid, non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote acorns. Tier 2 compensation provided.

Potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts, age and investment settings. It's not include acorns fees, results do not predict or represent the performance of any acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor.

“View important disclosure that acorns.com/bears.”

To really, I was just a selfish food and one festival. Next year we're going together. We're bringing tomorrow. So it taught me. It was so fun.

It was so fun and the food. Through the roof. I mean everything you ate. I was just with my chef. Let's eat your bomba chef.

Right. Like an hour ago. Oh. And I had a phone call with my donut company. Oh my god.

I can't understand a word they said. And I keep thinking. I know. I know. I went.

We opened a remote location. 101 West Six Street where we drop stuff off every day. So if you're walking around downtown, it's in the Scarborough building on sixth street. So I stopped by.

It just opened yesterday. And I was with him. And then we went to the fairground food hall. And just kind of like caught up there. And then he was like.

He goes. I went to a place for breakfast. Over the weekend. It had like a five stars and three thousand three views. Sun.

Yelp. Such shit. The biggest piece of shit. I've ever eaten in my life. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

He's like, where do I? He's the next. But gold. They're bacon gold. It's just shit.

Like somebody took a shit on a plate. And I'm like, wow.

That passionate.

“Shitting on this place, which I won't name.”

But yeah.

They go hard at other restaurants.

I am. I am so excited because I'm coming down to Austin in two weeks. Uh-huh. And I'm so excited. I have big plans.

I haven't been there in a while. Yeah. And I want to pick your boys up from school. I want you to go. They would get so excited.

I want to go to Cheetah Bomba. I want to go to Cheetah Bomba. So bad. You have to go. You have to go.

I do how bad I want to go to Cheetah Bomba. Gotta go in the morning. Gotta go in the morning. What's crazy Tom is, I'm the lightest I've ever been in 22 years. I saw Ila the other night.

Yeah. I like came out to one of my shows. And she was. She was like, first thing she said she saw me is, you have fingers. I said, what?

She goes, you've had sausages your whole life. You have like, I can see your bones and your fingers. She was, what do your ankles look like? I was like, wow. She goes, I want to see your ankles.

I showed her my ankles and she was like, I let's head to me. You get, I'm going to give you two days this year that you can drink two days. And that's it. And I want, really, she goes, yeah, she goes, you look incredible.

She's like, I've never seen you like this.

That's great, man. And don't you feel good? Yeah. And then I was like, you're fucking mind. I see you seven days a year.

You think I'm going to cut it down just to fucking party my dick off. You're like, wait, what's, what's the, when do you turn it up again? I'm going to, uh, so if you get off the sauce, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like what's happening in society with kids getting away from alcohol.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I meant, I meant the majority. Oh, yeah. Um, yeah.

“I mean, if you want to let it rip, you can't do it on that, right?”

Why was doing it on it? Well, I thought you said you like, I don't really have a taste for it. It doesn't, you know. Well, I haven't had a taste for it since I quit drinking, but I think that's part of parent, parent parcel, parcel and pear.

What is it? What? Parson, parcel, parcel, parcel. Part parcel. Part parcel.

Was that any, we Google that? Parent parcel, part and parcel. I'm trying to use bigger words. Okay. I saw this guy's Instagram this morning and he said,

Every morning when I wake up, I make myself a capatino and I read. Then I go into the city. I sit at a bar. I have a pastry and I have one more capatino and I start a conversation and that is my day.

Okay. And I want that to be my day. And I want it to be an Austin. And I want my day in Austin is going to go. I'm going to wake up and have a capatino.

I'm going to stay at your house. I think, by the way, when I get Austin. I'm going to have a capatino. I'm going to go. I realized I don't spend enough time with your kids.

I'm going to have a capatino. And then I'm going to go into the city to put Chochabamba. And have another capatino and a pastry. Then I pick up my two kids from school. I take them to a shooting range and we should assault on you.

If you go to the shooting range with them, you'll be their favorite human being ever. That's all I want to do. All I want to do is hang out with your boys. And I want Lee and the hang out with your boys with me.

So she sees how much who have a great question for you. Yeah. Okay, let's pause it. But no, but keep going with where we're going. We're going with something.

And then I'll ask you the question. Okay. What were we talking about? Parting partial.

“Parting partial means a essential integral or unavoidable component of something.”

Often highlighting a feature that cannot be separated from the whole. It's commonly used to describe necessary. I'll be at sometimes unpleasant aspects of a job. Life or situation as in stress is part of and is part and parcel of the job. That's great.

That is such a perfect transition into the conversation I want to have. Okay. Two things have happened in my life that are non-negotiables. Okay. Part and parcel.

Lee and move me out of her room into my own room and Lee and stop cooking. Non-negotiable. These are great things. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's objective.

It's objective of whether or not they're great things. Okay. But it brought up. But the cooking was a non-negotiable. She said she's done cooking.

She'll never want to cook again.

She's never light cooking. She'll cook when she wants to but don't ever plan on her cooking. If she's making herself something, it's just for her. It's not for both of us. Okay.

Got it. She said that. And then she said, non-negotiable. I need to move into my own room. She's not sleeping at night.

It's keeping her eye. I snore. It keeps her up. I need to be in my own room. She needs her own room.

Tom, she sleeps like a dying old lady. She sleeps with one of those quilted quilts. Like those old lady ones that you see on top of beds that don't look comfortable. And they're all rough and bumpy. She sleeps under that still folded in half of the top.

Her hands on top. And she goes like this. She sleeps. She likes it. All the windows open.

So natural sunlight wakes her up. Oh my god. Six in the fucking morning. Oh my god. So now I moved into a cave.

I have the guest room. I've murdered out the windows.

I have no light coming in and I play a podcast every night while I sleep. I fall asleep. I wake up 10 hours clean. I sleep like a god. She's already up doing fucking laundry.

Anyway, those are the two non-negotiables. And I was cool with it.

“And then I started thinking, what are your non-negotiables?”

As in, what would you actually say no to?

Well, like if push said, oh, you can never, we'll never have sex again.

Then you go, that's a non-negotiable. Of course. But where will you draw the line with non-negotiables? If she said I want you to have your own bedroom, would you be cool with it? Yeah.

Okay, it's pretty cool. It's rad. I'll show you my bedroom when you come over. I can't wait. Do you like cool posters and toys and stuff?

My guns out. I gotta sign this as no fat chicks allowed on the door. Oh, dude. That's so rad. It's so awesome.

You know, you want to Alice has on his door? What? He has a caricature of a heavier bardom from no country for old men, as Anton Chagour. You know? And I was like, hey, do you know who that is?

He's like, I was fucking cool guy. And I go, yeah, that's like a psychopath from a movie. He's like, that's awesome. Like, where the fuck did you get that? He's like a printed up, just on his door.

And then Julian yesterday came into my office at home. And I was reading and he goes, oh, I'm going to bring a chair in here. For what? He goes, so I can sit in here with you. And I go, okay.

So he puts a chair in front of my desk.

“And then he's like, I'm going to read too.”

And I go, all right. And he gets something. And then he's like, I'll be back. And I'm like, okay. And he comes in and with the suit jacket on.

And he goes, I have a contract. And he do the sign. And I go, what is it? He's like, it's just says that you're going to give me money for some stuff I do. And I go, what are you going to do?

He goes, I don't know, but I don't want a physical labor. And I go, okay. So what are you going to do for money? He's like, well, figure something out. And I go, all right.

You got to be more specific. You're going to sign the contract. He was just fucking sign it. So I had it. I signed a contract.

And I go, can you clean the trash cans? Because I don't do shit like that. And I go, okay. Cool. We have a sign deal.

And his in his suit. [laughter] Yeah. So crazy. Every time I see David Bowie stuff, I want to buy it for your young just.

He's so obsessed. I see it so much David Bowie stuff. All the time. Like, there's so much stuff at antique shops. I find antique shops.

Like, but they're always like a 250-dollar shirt.

I was like that. That's crazy. I appreciate it. No, no, no. So what are you going to do?

It puts that you can never have alcohol again. Is that it? Would you be cool with it? I mean, I would be like, what's your fucking deal? I'm not like.

Okay. What if she said then? Okay, let's start. Let's start easy. I'll never give you another blow job.

That's kind of a non-negotiable. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Of course.

Okay. Okay. Good. I need to move back to LA. Mmm.

That's more like, I don't it. So I'm trying to think of the people listening to this right now. There are dudes who move back to their wife's hometown to be around her family. Mm-hmm. And that was an negotiable.

They were like, well, I guess I can do that. To me, it's really about the burden of everything that we moved here. I mean, like, she's a surprise. You want to move everything back to Cali? I mean, I don't think so, man.

No. Okay. No, she got it. Okay. No.

What did she said? What did she said? Uh, I need, uh, I got to fly private everywhere I go. Fuck no. Yeah, right?

No way, dude. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. March includes international women's day. So let's take a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress. While also recognizing how much they carry every day.

Between caring for others and managing unseen responsibilities, there are emotional well-being can easily be overlooked. We want to remind women how much they matter and that therapy offers a space for them to take care of themselves in the way they deserve. And if that's a really great moment,

it don't ever say that in a fight.

“I've done that in a fight where you should talk about this in therapy.”

That doesn't work that way, but there is a space where you do go through stuff with your spouse with my wife and my, with Leanne. And I will kind of earmark things and be like, yo, this is a good therapy thing. Like, this is, and sometimes it's the thing she doesn't see that she's just kind of burdening over and over and over again.

And I, and I'll kind of earmark it. And if you're, why's not therapy? It's a great gift. Just be like, you'll get into therapy.

Like, I'm not always right, and I'm not always on spot.

Like, I don't know what I'm doing. And I can listen, but I'm not the best that listens. Therapists are the best listeners around. Better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US.

So you can focus on your therapy goals. All you got to do is fill out a short questionnaire to identify your needs and preferences. And there are 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate. Means the typically they get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored racks.

With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform.

Having served over 6 million people globally and it works.

It works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Your emotional well-being matters find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/bears. That's better at glp.com/bears. The older you get, the more daunting the idea of learning a new language can feel whether it's about a lack of time or mental energy.

Babbles built to cater to your specific learning style and schedule. I love this app. I've used it countless times for multiple languages. I love spending time working on that part of my brain.

“I love the approach to teaching and I think it's incredibly effective.”

Their courses are curated by over 200 language experts to teach you relevant words and phrases you'll actually use by practicing real-life conversations. More than just lessons, Babble offers a large collection of podcasts that offer an inside look at local cultures. If you learn best by listening, speaking, reading or writing, Babble adapts to keep you motivated and on track with personalized plans and feedback. Make real lasting progress in no time with Babble, the science backed language learning app that actually works.

Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babble subscription at Babble.com/bears. Spell B-A-B-E-L dot com forward slash bears rules and restrictions may apply.

When it comes to starting something new, it can feel like you're suddenly wearing several hats at once and taking on a to-do list that never stops growing.

Having a built-in business partner like Shopify when we started this podcast and our other shows would have been a game changer. A cha, a chain. Shopify is a driving force behind millions of brands and businesses around the world, including ours here at YMH and 10% of all e-commerce in the US. Get your idea off the ground and online with their ready to use templates and tools to create an online store that aligns with your brand and spread the word. Like you have an entire marketing team behind you by creating email and social media campaigns for wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling.

“For managing inventory and payments to international shipping and returns, Shopify possesses the expertise you need to take your commerce to the next level.”

Start your business today with the industry's best business partner Shopify and start hearing cha-ting sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/bears. Go to Shopify.com/bears. That's Shopify.com/bears. Cha-ting. But there's women. There are women that I follow on Instagram.

I get a stop following these women. They're going to figure out who the fuck they are. That's crazy. I think that's a crazy expense. There are women who almost look at their comfort as a non-negotiable. They're comfort as a female and you are to provide for them as a male.

Now, we've never been trained to see that in sitcom because it's always the fat loser who has the check and then she'll have so much love.

“She'll show us free-birth, but I just said halfway through that I was like, "I think I'm describing my own show."”

But you look at what's out online and it's all these women who are done up who have nice cars and have expensive shit and they're not negotiables or I need a guy to take care of me. That's so gross. I mean, thank God that we didn't end up in something like that. No, that's the worst man. Where the trade-off is like, "Yeah, I'm with you." But this shit better be fucking nice 24/7.

Think of the guys, think of the guys who have hemorrhaged their life. They've just mortgaged out everything to keep their check happy. With, by buying her, yeah, that's horrible. I think that's horrible. I remember like, "Oh my God, one of the first acting classes I ever took in LA had all these women that were not serious about it, but they were just taking this class." They're all like kept women, but by Bell Air guys, and it was clearly like already, we were, I mean, I was in my 20s and they already had like face lifts and hit jobs and crazy cars.

I'll look hot and you buy me nice stuff. It's gross.

It would be kind of cool if you could like go to like impoverished countries and you can keep a woman there. Oh, you can. That would be, you want to do that? That'd be a fun bit. What would you say for the show? Let's be a fun reality show, kept women.

“kept women, and I think we could do it for like a hundred bucks a month.”

I was really no lie. I was thinking about 25 grand a year. Oh, wait less. And the trade-off could be like, okay, I just want you to put photos of me up all over your house. I mean, and say, have a shrine to me, pray to me in the mornings. And then like have your family cook a dinner and pretend that I'm there and they have like a blow-up doll of you there. How fun would that vacation be?

Show up in your like, you're like, we're not going to stay at our house. I got a hotel for the weekend at the four seasons. And then you bring your family there and they're like, who is this? You're like, what's kind of my wife? But it's here in the Philippines. I know what to do. I know a dude who I hope it doesn't get to him because it's going to sound shitty. But I hope he knows that this is what really happened. He was married to a regular chick, right? Like a regular chick.

Like, I let's plain out regular. Like, like, about 160, 55, okay. Not the most beautiful chick. Okay. Nice. Yeah.

I really hope he never hears this. Like, and he wasn't, he was not attractive. He was not attractive.

“I think they're starting to see the picture you're painting. They're like, huh.”

I always like to send you a picture of him. So you knew how unattractive. Like if you said, we got it. Cookie cutter, middle-class American white male. It's that guy. Okay. Two words. 40 pounds. But his unattractive wife got it. And he got a job working for like a big production company. He definitely knows you're talking about him now. Okay.

Okay. Edit that out. Edit that out. Okay. Edit that out. He went on a trip to the, and decided he was going to work. And he married a 10, a 10, and he got divorced his wife. Yeah. Got rid of his life here. Yeah. And he lives there. Now he still, he's still there. He sends Christmas cards every now and then.

It with him and his family. And they're all in the same shirt.

And he is, he sticks out so aggressively. Of course. But he traded his life here to be a millionaire with one of the hotter women I've ever seen in my entire life.

“I mean, I think this is a path that a lot of people more like a substantial number of people take this path.”

Especially like middle age, frustrated, you know, where they go like, this is just not panning out. And it's like, yeah, you can take what you've got to a more underdeveloped place and be like a king. I think it's quite appealing to a lot of people, man. So can you believe out certain words? So it's not clear because it will help know it's him when I say this right before he left arm. Him and his wife, we're going to sell everything.

And that was going to be his life. And he was drinking with me. And he was like, I mean, I guess that's a good move, right? And then he takes one trip and he's like, this is insane. And he's like, my money goes so far. Yeah.

And then he finds out that his job could be transferred there. Divorces his wife moves to get to a fucking high paying job. Yeah, lives like Dan Blazarian. Yeah, he's just living it up. And he's still.

Two pounds. Happier than ship, probably. Never had been his life. The fucking, he's still chill with him. Every now and then, every now and then, I'll get a tack.

I get a Christmas card from him. But I think he's someone cuts his yard with scissors. Like, it's, so wait, here's the question, right? Now, and this is going to come off a little odd. So like, clearly, for like 25 grand, you can get the hottest chick.

Or we can start upgrading, right? And go, now, how much is hottest chick in Ireland cost? How much is the hottest chick in? I mean, clearly, there's parts of Africa where it's even less than 25 grand. But you get like a fucking bad bitch who's like 5/11.

Yeah. Dark is fuck like just beautiful features. It's just whatever your taste is, man. No, no, no, no, no. I want to see greatest price point.

Like, what do you think about your greatest price point? Because Russia's a fucking great one. Are we discussing human trafficking right now?

No, that's not a good topic for me these days.

Okay.

“Wait, that's a, is that a soft spot for you?”

It's been, it's been, it's been what we call a nice thing. Don't we can talk about it? Nope. Nope. What?

Just say it. Do you have seen this? Nope. You have seen files. I'm not on the option.

You're on the option files. You, you are your result. You know that, right? Do, pull up the option files. Shut up.

Shut up. We've already done it. I'm not on the option files. You are in the files. No, I'm not.

You are in the files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files. I'm not on the option files.

I'm not on the option files.

I was like $5 million worth of art inside there.

So we got $5 million worth of art. I leverage that. Here's the problem. Trump couldn't keep the daily cost of keeping more of our logo up and running. And they were only given like $100,000 a year to keep it up and running.

“So that's why you turned into a country club.”

You want to talk about what a gangster move Trump did? Yeah. He knew he was competing with all the other country clubs in Palm Beach. So what he did is he goes, "Huh. I got something they can argue against.

Guys, I'm allowing blacks, gays, and Jews in this country club." And fucking West Palm was like, "What the fuck?" And he was like, "Take it up with the ACLU." And that's, and 25 grand. It was 25 grand initially to join Mara Logo.

It's way more now. Oh, 25 grand. Yeah. But I did like a deep dive on it. I was curious about it.

But he made a killing on that fucking place. It says that the negotiation tactic he used was that he initially offered to buy it for 15 million was rejected.

Then bought the nearby beach front land for 2 million

and threatened to build a house that would block the ocean view. Yeah. Driving down the price of the property. And then ended up purchased for 10 million 85. Which is equivalent to 30 today.

Our president said publicly he got it for eight. And what the news does fake media. Wow, that's right. Sure. It's got 5 million for the mansion, 3 million for the furnishings.

“2 million for the adjacent beach front land.”

The two looks like it was separate. So I think you're right. It's eight. Yeah. But I've been really into documentaries lately.

When I right before I go to bed, I turn on a documentary. And that was a good one. And look, open it to Jews and blacks. [chuckles] This guy's so insane, dude.

We're going to miss him. You think so? Yeah. The entertainment value. Uh, yeah.

He's entertaining. Yeah.

I mean, it's, you know, you know, I'll tell you what.

I said this about George Bush Jr. is when he was president, everyone thought you forget how much everyone hated him. Yeah. So much. And I said, we're going to miss him.

Yeah. It just gets worse. If you're into crazy ex-girlfriends, they just get crazier. Mm-hmm. We're not going.

We're not. We'll go back. We'll have one or two normies. But we're going to, we're going to, it's going to get even. Think about what social media is and what's online.

There's dudes online straight up. White dude straight up saying the end word.

“Like, and, and going like, I don't do, what are you going to do?”

Cancel me? Well, I don't care. Fuck it. Fuck you. And that is the future of the youth.

The youth is the youths off. And I think it's everyone's microdosing and eating edibles. And, and, and doing BPC-157. And, and optimizing their sleep. Yeah.

And they're all online. No one's living. Everyone's like right here. But no one's out fucking meeting anyone. Or sitting at a bar and telling a fucking lie.

Like, like old school dudes. Yeah. Well, I do think people are going to get way crazier. You're right on that. Like, and we're going to look back and go, I mark my words.

Because I said it with J J J J George. How much you missed GW? He was I miss him. He got right. And think of there's not one per I bet.

Jining Graflow will be like, "God man, I missed George Bush. Doing your whatever. Jock God damn why can't I talk to you?" George W. J.D.

Look at him. And now he gives where there's he gets, he gives where there's to, uh, Carolina, Carolina Harris. I should stop talking. Okay.

Not Connie Rice, who's the fucking, I just named two black chicks. I don't know how you're talking about it. Obama Michelle Obama. Okay. He gives where there's two where the funerals.

Yeah. He's like, "Hi. I'm Michelle. Want a little." He's like, "G.D.

You're so good." And then he gives her a where there's and he's like, "Hey, go in here, Joe." Now he seems like the smartest guy in the world. Next to Trump. This guy.

I mean, yeah. It's just getting horrible. Yeah. It's not even possible. I mean.

And the kids these days that now all agree with communism and you look at the fucking, you look at the left and the left is is literally run by fucking lunatics who are lighting fucking bombs and throwing bombs in New York and fucking punching.

It's insanity. Insane. And the, the pendulum doesn't write itself and you just go back to the center. The pendulum swings hard as fuck. That's the way the world works.

Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Did you think, like, this is interesting. I have a really dope into this.

Can you pull up? Dommers, moms thing. What? Yeah. Jeffrey Dommers, mom.

She said that her son didn't hurt his victims.

“And I kind of want to, I think it's an important thing to really dive into because I always”

said that people talk too much shit about Dommer. You know? He, yeah, he wasn't, he was a little knucklehead, but he wasn't like, you know?

So he killed them, but he never tried to hurt them.

That's what she said. And I think it's a good point, you know, that he was, he was just doing what he did. But he wasn't like, he didn't hurt them physically or hurt their feelings. You know, I think he just ended their lives. He was not a bad guy.

Wait, wait, honey, there's the one story of the one kid with the hammer in his head that ran down the bar. And he's like the whole drilled in his head. I think that hurt. You're right. And I don't know what she would say to that.

That'd be an interesting thing to go back to a month. He drilled into someone's head while they were alive. And then that person ran to a bar and got cops. And then it was the, it was the, it was the, it was the, it was Joey Diaz's joke. I don't believe me or a chick with a black eye on a wig.

I'm dealing with a black eye on a wig. So this is a, to into Chris for Wilder. What is this, oh, okay. He's, this is a different person that he's talking about. Yeah.

Okay, a psychologist. Is there any more? She just said that. Okay. Yeah.

Well, you know, again, I, I like to remember Jeffrey is more than just a serial killer, you know. He's dead, right? Yeah, he's dead. You got killed in prison. I bet that was a fucking scary way to go.

The way he died in prison.

“Yeah, he got, I think it was beat with a broomstick to death.”

I'm sure they shoved it up as asshole. They actually, I believe they did. Yeah. They had to. Yeah.

It was one guy who was already in for murder. He was like, well, what have I got to lose? You know? I was next to a 95 year old woman on the flight yesterday coming in. And we had to do a boarded, a boarded landing.

So we had to take off.

It's amazing how quick those planes are when they punch it.

Like, and, and she got scared. Really? She was 95. She was 95. How are you with flying now?

Still scared? Yeah. I was scared yesterday when we had to board the landing. But I'm a little better. My anxiety's been pretty good without it.

He did a board the landing? Yeah. What do you mean? Like, we had to take back off. Really?

Yeah. How come?

“Like, we went almost touched down and then it just took off.”

Because there was a plane on the tarmac. Oh, did they announce it? They're like, oh. Nope. They just did it.

They just did it.

We were like, right now, LAY.

You know, when you get to LAY, where you get to, like, the safe part where you're looking at the, the, the, all the, where house is and the parking structures and the parking cars. And then you're like, oh, I'm home. And you just do, do, do, do.

And we got there and it just went, and we flew out over the ocean. Like, we're going to Hawaii. And then we didn't turn around. We didn't turn around for a while. And I was like, and no one said anything.

And she was 95. She was sitting next to me. And she was nervous. And I was like, I'm 95. What even nervous for?

Yeah. I didn't say that to her. But she looked at me and she goes, this is scary. And I was like, for me, I still have like 30 good years. You got to when you rather go out in a plane crash at 95.

It would be awesome. Yeah. It reminds me of the story of Stacey's grandmother was, Stacey works here. I hate that I bring this up all the time and it makes me get go.

She called me up one time. She goes, hey, I can't come to work today. And I said, why? She goes, my grandmother died. No one, oh my god, I'm so sorry.

She goes, no, I know. It's just, I said, oh, well, she goes. It doesn't matter. I said, no, I'm just curious. She was 95.

And I was like, well, you have a, at that point, Stacey, I guess she got a, but she called on fire. She called on fire. She burned the death in a building. Yeah.

Her house called on fire. And I was like, oh, wow, I guess she didn't see that coming. And 95. No. No.

And Stacey's, and I bring it up. That makes you laugh so hard. It still makes me giggle. It's still, I, and I brought it up to someone at a party. And he goes, I can beat that.

He goes, my mom was 97. And my grandmother was 97. And I was like, really? And I was like, how did she die? And he goes, she got hit by a bus.

Holy shit. And he goes, and I went, wait, would this, she could, and he goes, everyone asks tips, she could hear her. It was an electric bus. It backed over her.

Fuck.

How would you prefer to go?

Say, I always said this, rescuing someone.

No, no. I mean, like, between getting hit by a bus, let's say it's 65 miles an hour. So you kind of just splatter on the road. But it's real quick.

Plane crush. If you, if you're picking the two. Go have a house fire. No, no, no, no, hit by a bus. Hit by a bus, yeah.

I would never want to burn alive. Yeah, bus, bus is quick. Real quick. Yeah. Drowning or catching on fire.

Ooh. That's a good one. Yeah. Well. I've got, you know, I've almost drowned before.

And it's-- So the right, yeah. It's so terrifying.

“I mean, I don't think any-- I think burning alive has got to be just so horrific.”

I bet at a certain point you lean into it. To the burning? Yeah, and you just, like, kind of go towards the fire and you're like, let's wrap this up.

I never really thought of that.

Maybe. Maybe. I think I'm going to take fire. Take fire? Yeah.

Okay, if you're going to be killed by an animal, would you rather be on your territory or their territory? Meaning, like, attacked by a shark in water where you're not familiar, or attacked by a lion where I'm ground near familiar. Fuck.

That's a good one. I just saw footage of a guy that got attacked by a pooma. It's been real, Narlie. My fucking num school assistant was like, I was asking today what percentage of animals do you think you could kill by him?

He goes 60, and I was like, wait, what? And he was like, wait, figure, I can get all the way up to dog and cat. And I was like, you think you can kill a cat? He was like, yeah, I was like, I couldn't get a cat out of a tree. But you think he thinks once he gets his hands on it, he can kill it.

Yeah, he does do that. He goes, do they know I'm killing it? And I went, they're going to know once you start striking it. Yeah.

“Then I think they're going to be like, this is the weirdest massage.”

That is so dude. The shark death or the lion death. I sure like that. I'll look behind him. Let's walk you through it. Okay.

Well, let's see if you know this. The lion death's going to be quicker. You're going to die quicker. The shark death is going to happen. And then he's going to let you sit there as he does a lap.

And then comes back. That's what I'm saying. The shark's going to bite you. And then like, yeah, then start swimming around you. And you're going to be like scared. You're going to know what's happening.

You're going to be screaming in the water. Your chunk of your leg is missing. You're bleeding profusely. And then you're like, I'm about to die. And I'm looking at the shark.

The lion, you're going to be scared if you know what's coming. But it's going to bite your neck and just try to crush it right away. So it's going to, it's going to go for your neck and just crush your neck. And I'm going to repeat cats. So like that's another thing is your eyes doing.

Itching and red. And your nose is going to get congested. Oh, and I'm at asthma attack. And nobody might act. But the crazy thing is your spinal snap so fast that you won't really feel that much.

“What animal would you rather attack you a bear or a lion?”

I think the lion still because it goes for your neck. Okay. Then what would you rather a bear a lion or ten dogs? Oh, fuck. These are vicious killing dogs. Yeah.

Yeah, I think you're going to suffer more in that one. It's going to be so fucking brutal, dude. All right. Now you're ready. Yeah. Okay.

You get attacked by ten dogs. But the owner of those dogs is there. Would you rather the owner be a woman, a black dude, or a guy, a Latino, doesn't speak English? Um, how do you want to go out? No, okay. We're hold on.

So, okay. You got to think if it's the woman she's going to be going, they're friendly. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Hang on. Guys stop it. Stop it. If it's a black guy, he's probably like, he's probably like, Get on. Get on. Get on.

Get on. And then if it's a matching guy, you don't know what he's saying. I do. Yeah, I think, you know, we've taken so much from black culture. I'll take the black guy.

Yeah. A little payback. Okay. Yeah. How about monkeys, though?

What about chimps? Right. They bite your fingers off. They bite your fingers off. They take your jaw. They take a look.

They do this. And they pull your jaw out of your face.

And they always rip your testies off because they know you're a male.

And they know you'll reproduce with that. So they rip your testicles off. And then they peel skin off your back like there's strips of bacon with their hands. You know? So then what's the question is, temper gorilla?

Yeah. Well, gorilla might just just pounce you, right? And then throttle you down.

It's going to think you're a toy for a while. Mm-hmm. But you'll probably be unconscious pretty quick.

“See, I think that I think you suffer more at the hands of the chimps.”

You know, I think you suffer more. Would you rather be killed by 10 women or 10 men? That's a real crazy pivot. That we're talking about. 10 animals.

10 women's going to take like 45, 50 minutes. Are these bad ass women though? Just regular women. Regular women. Regular women.

Regular women. Regular women. Regular men. Regular men. And they pull them off a fucking frontier flight.

And they just start, what, pummeling you?

And they're like, guys, we've got a hundred million dollars.

You got to kill this guy. You got one day to do it. And then they just start fucking beating you. Until you die. Hmm.

So it may take like a day. But you're going to be fighting the whip. See the guys, you just, you know, you're going to be fired. But you're going to get tired. 10 women.

Get hit a lot of women though. 10 regular dudes. You're probably stronger than the regular dude. Okay. But still like, 10 of them is a lot.

Tens a lot. So I could see how, like, does it. But like, as, as let's say three women, three of the 10 are in front.

“You're going to start punching women in the face, right?”

And then they're breaking some ribs. I mean, let's say you knock out three or four of them. How far would the first fucking minute now have to be? I'm hitting that woman. Just beating the fuck out of the first three when they come your way.

And just being like, so no one's going to say anything. Wow.

And they're like, there's a hundred million dollar bounty on your head, dude.

And then, yeah. And then, I mean, the thing is, but at least like gross fucking Philly chicks who like, you know what I mean? Like who really know how to scrap or are these like Midwest moms? No, let's make it.

Let's make it a bunch of fucking Philly bitches. Yeah. They're totally better like, you're like wiping their nose and shit. They're like, you're just going to get fucking good. It's fucking on.

Yeah. G-L-E-S-E-G-O-S-E-G-O-S-G-O-S-G-O-B-R. Let's get to Tommy. Yeah. That's going to be rough, dude.

I mean, you're going to, you are going to have a little bit of fun. I mean, cracking a few jaws, but I don't know. Ten of them is a lot, dude. Ten's a lot. I'd rather be beaten.

I'd rather be killed by ten men. I think ten men. Yeah, easily. Just for the story, you know? Yeah.

Pride. What language would you like to die to the least? Like, because you figure, we've fought in horse. People have died to Iraqi. Whatever that is to Arabic.

Yeah. People have died to German. Yeah. People have died to the sound scary. Sanders raising her hand.

People have died to Vietnamese. Vietnamese sounds like, it's like a little like a hook block. Right? I don't. But it's more like round.

It's more round. It's like, as opposed to Japanese, which is, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then Vietnamese is like, my old, the, but I would be, but.

“What do you think would you, would you, would you like it or dislike it to be suffering at the hands of an Asian more?”

Because you know they're cold, right? So, okay, hold on. So you got to think of the moment, right? the moment you don't want is when they say something and then they laugh to themselves. So what language would you like hunt a gluten-blood?

Yeah, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, That would be more frustrating because it's close, could you just say anything? You're right. I'd be like, can you fucking stop in a gluten-blood club?

I bet the Vietnamese went sucks, because it's a little no offense, Sandra, but it's a little goofier, you know, and it sounds like there's like a comic relief to it, and

you always feel like you're getting let go.

Now I will leave, but you're like, what, for real? No, no, no, not you, not you, him. Yeah. And they'll break your arms. - No, I'm trying to do Vietnamese, not you him, not you him.

That's it. It's like Angela Johnson's nail salon. - You got boyfriend? - Mm-hmm. (clears throat) - So be sexy to die too.

- A time of be sexy to die too. - A time of be sexy to die too Spanish. I wouldn't mind dying to Spanish. - Right. - I bet a certain point you should fall asleep.

Just saying you're like, I don't know if the fuck's happening.

- Russian would suck. - suck. - Yeah. - Chinese like Mandarin. - I'd rather die to English and know what we're saying.

“And now what English would accent would you like to die to?”

Would you like to die to a British accent like a cockney? Like a orot? Looks like we cut his knickers off. - I think I would rather die, if I was gonna die, make it more refined to Brit.

I think that would just be more pleasant thing to hear. - Yeah, if you'll clean her. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, a refined bit as opposed to American accent.

- Oh, I bite. - Yeah, I don't wanna listen to that while I'm dying. American would suck. - What American accent would be the worst to die to? - Projects.

- Projects. - No. - Southern accent.

- 'Cause it doesn't suck.

- 'Cause it doesn't suck. - It doesn't sound smart. And you feel like you're being bested by someone dumber than you. - That's exactly right. That's exactly right.

Same with that mid-Atlantic accent, which is like that filly ball to more accent. That would suck. - Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah, Pittsburgh accent would suck to die too. - Yeah. - Yeah. - For sure.

- For sure. - For Canadian accent. - Okay. - Okay. - No.

- We're gonna kill ya, A. - That would suck. - Take his tarp off. - Okay, don't be. - Oh, this is gonna be a long day, but oh.

Oh, you're not gonna like anything. We do it at you.

- I think you hit the key thing though.

If you feel like it's dumber, then it's worse. - Yeah, no offense to the Vietnamese people. But like yeah, like I said Vietnamese earlier and I was thinking 'cause it's more round and like where Japanese sounds more precise.

“But you're right, I think the dumber of the accent,”

that sounds mildly racist, but the dumber of the accent. - Yeah, then the worst it is. - Yeah. - Even for like the home grown stuff. - Can I tell you something wildly racist

that a black guy told me? - Yeah. - Okay. - So I was touring with this guy and we casually saw a picture of a black dude without a mustache

and you don't have a mustache right now. - Well, it's growing in. - And no, no, but you don't have one. You have like hair there. - Yeah.

- And I said, you know a long time ago I heard a home. I heard the black guys without facial hair gay and he goes, my dad told me that when I was a kid. And I was like, for real and he was like, yeah, and I started Googling it and it's kind of accurate.

Like most almost all straight black dudes can face facial hair. - Interesting. - And then he said, and this is even wilder. And once you go on Instagram, you can't unsee this.

He said that when he was growing up, someone told him, I'm not ex-- I'm not incrementating anyone. That light-skinned black people act up a little more act blacker than dark-skinned black people.

I said that if he was told-- - He was just sharing with me and this me and the bus. And now all I, and it's like, it's like the, it's like your phone hears you. - Yeah.

- Tom, all I get on my thing is light-skinned black chicks. - That's cool. - Who are like, who are like, talking almost like they're making fun of black people like. - Hoor.

- I don't walk through the mall. - Hoor, hoor. - You know like, it's like crazy. I'm doing a bad impression of it. But it's like, it's like with a toothpick in her mouth

and she's like, and clearly as she's light-skinned. And he told me that and it's like now that he said that I can't unsee it. - Yeah. - I'm gonna look for it now.

I feel like it's all as gonna pop up. - It's like what Donnell told us to black people like Pepsi Moore. - Yeah, yeah. - The reason is why, yeah.

- And then Tom, every time I've been in a restaurant and they don't have Coke, it's a black waiter. - Oh, we just Pepsi, every time. Every time. And I'm like, do you like Pepsi?

And I go, I love it. I love that menthols. I love Pepsi products. What would be the, what they should do? There should be one chain that signs a wild deal

with RC Cola. - And just to go, that's all we got. - Oh, we got to RC Cola. And you're like, wow, what would be the brand? Like, Fago would be cool, pull up brands of sodas.

Would you, like cause you got the Pepsi products, the Coke products, then you got Fago, you got RC, you got Fanta, Fanta's probably on the Pepsi, right? - Yeah, let's see.

- Adrian, last, huh. - Dr. Pepper, do you like Dr. Pepper? - I love Dr. Pepper. - Yeah, Dr. Pepper is good. - I like Mr. Pit more.

- Really? - I like Mr. Pit, but I like NW. - I got into those root beers and cream sodas, the sugar free ones.

“I think that's the best sugar free thing out there.”

- But do you notice, do you notice that, if you crack one of those, the carbonation goes so fast? Like if you don't drink it right away, it does.

that you don't notice it, that I don't know. I drink it within two sips. - Two sips? - Two sips, I drink a diet root beer, that's how fast they go down.

And I'll tell you, mug's diet root beer is way sweeter than anyone out there. - I do think that this health conscious stuff is a pile of shit.

That's always a bummer when you go coke

and they go, "We have fucking spin drift." And you're like, "What?" That's fuck are you talking about? - I'll tell you what is really good. Have you had Oli Pop yet?

- No. - I'm gonna buy a case for your boys when I'm in Austin. - Really? - They're gonna love Oli Pop. Oli Pop tastes like candy, but it's like 25 calories.

It's fuck, Oli Pop's legit. - All right. - I think St. Patties' days ares. - I don't think they celebrate it. - They do.

- They did. - But then it'll celebrate the way we do. - Maybe not, I don't know.

“- I think I was in Dublin for St. Patties' day one year.”

They have a parade and stuff, it's big. But it's almost like, it's like lights can black chicks. - It's exactly like that. - We're the lights can black chicks of St. Patties' day. - Right, right, that's a really good point.

- Yeah, they're like, "What are you talking about? "We're super dark. "We don't need to do that." - Right. - His, his, his, uh, his examples.

And I, I gotta have. On my podcast so that he can defend his examples. But his examples were spot on and I'm not gonna step my toe into it. - Yeah. - So I think by people already know what I'm saying.

I think it's common within the culture. They know what I'm saying. - Yeah. - But I'm probably misrepresenting it. But his examples were wild.

- Well, you gotta get to post them. Tell 'em to post those. That'd be fun. - Uh, I gotta, I gotta say this. I wanna get Vince Vaughn on the podcast.

- Okay. - I want us to interview Vince Vaughn. His new movie, Nick and Alice and Nick and Mike. What's it called? It's so, it looks so fucking good.

- Did you see it? - I haven't seen it. I got it. I saw the trailer and I reached out to Hulu.

“I think it's on Hulu and I wanted to see,”

have you seen my trailer? - And Nick and Alice. - Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. It looks so fucking good, Tom. It looks due to watch the trailer.

- I've seen the trailer. - Oh, it's a dude. I am so excited for this movie. This is everything I want. Comedy and time travel. Shut the fuck up.

I'm so pumped for this movie. - Great. - This movie and have you seen the trailer for piggy blinders? - No.

The movie? The movie, piggy blinders is coming out. In theaters, then on Netflix. I'm gonna go in theaters and I'll watch it again on a plane in it.

And have you seen the seven kingdoms of the night of seven kingdoms? - Mm-hmm. - You have not seen the night of seven kingdoms? - I have not seen the night of seven kingdoms.

- Is that the name of it? - The night of seven kingdoms?

- It is game of thrones, but for like 20 million.

- So you know game of thrones is it? - The night of seven kingdoms? - Is it HBO? - It is on max. It is so good.

- But I also didn't watch all of game of thrones. - Don't need to.

“- Kind of need to a little bit, you need to, but not really.”

It's so... - This is an excellent. - Yeah, and they did it low budget. You can kinda tell it's low budget, not to be shitty, but like when you watch it, you'll see certain shots

or you're like, "Well, you say to yourself, "what was the budget for this?" And then you find out it's six million an episode. They did 20 million for five episodes. So like, you know, they kind of

- Yeah. - Part of the episode. - Yeah. - But you're really interested. - Hmm, this is really good.

- Okay, all right. Well, we gotta wrap it up. - Are we done? - Yeah. - The next episode will be in Austin.

- Yes. - And then I will have picked your boys up from school. - Yeah, they're gonna love that dude. - So I'll just sleep on your couch. - Sure.

- If you want to. - I guess I'll sleep in a hotel. - Well, it won't make it work. Dude, you gotta do, you gotta start posting about what you guys did, you an Epstein.

(laughing) - You gotta tell stories. - You gotta tell stories. - He's just called the Conqueror. - Look guys, everybody has been talking.

I'm finally gonna tell you.

Here's what Epstein was like.

You'll see that I'm in the files. - I should do. I should do an omission, like you're just gonna like, so it's out now, I'm in the Epstein. Hey, say, did you know I was in the Epstein list?

But am I not in the Epstein list? - You are. - Did you make this up? - Pull it up yourself. - See if there's a result when you search

that Department of Justice Epstein files. - I'm gonna do some, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do some deep research in my Epstein affiliation. And if, if I need to welcome clean. - Yeah, just tell your-

(laughing) - Tell people about your friend. Just talk about your friend. They're called 'em in associate, like people like I met 'em, but you know, I met 'em and we hung out

- He made me call him, "Sig up."

- Yeah, and he called you, "Conquer." - Conquer. - Yeah. - Conquer.

“- He had a lot of roller coaster questions back then.”

(laughing)

- It was really into the intermediates.

- The intermediates. - Top of dragster, hey, what just, what are the lines of like that? Top of dragster and I go, they're long and he was, how are the girls in that line?

- Yeah. - And I was like, what? - I never understood. I was like, huh? - Huh?

- He's like, "Done's water parks."

- And he was like, "Age limit there."

“- And you kept going, like, "Why do you want me to bring”

kids for everything?" - Yeah. - We used to wait, like, every tide is just how to ride that ride, but like, what age is that? That goes as high.

- Yeah, how old is this? - How old is this? - How old is this? - That's so fast. - All right.

It was fun. It was good to see you, buddy. - I love you. I'll see you next week in Austin. - Thank you guys.

Wait. - That's a great deal. is much more than a big Britannian.

“In the country in the Middle East, the Western War began.”

In the Academy of Tripitweiser.de, big Britannians are a big Britannian.