I Remember Everything

getting their throat cut. When I see that on television, it just almost paralyzes me.

It was a bright sunny evening in a suburb of Chicago. I was working at a shopping mall. I was 17 years old. And I just graduated from high school. I was excited to go to a graduation party, so I had asked my boss if I could get off a work early. And where we had to park was a lot that was the employee lot across the street. And I had a CD in my hand as I'm singing out loud.

And as I'm walking, I almost felt like there was somebody behind me and I stopped. And I turned around and about 10 or 15 feet, there was somebody that was following me. And I glanced around and there was nobody else in the parking lot. And a lot of my gut instinct told me to run, to get away.

“But I didn't listen. And I walked towards my car and I put my key into the lock.”

And all the sudden the shadow came up to my left and I was grabbed from behind.

And there was a knife press at my throat. I offered him the money that was in my purse. And he said, "It's not your money that I want." And those words just made my stomach drop. I was so scared. And his car was parked just a couple of steps away from mine.

And with the knife still held at my throat, he threw me into his car. And he had taken my wrists and used plastic zip ties and bowed my hands behind my back. And he had taken these band aids and put them to conceal my eyes. And after he put the band aids over my eyes, he put sunglasses on my face. Everything happened so methodically.

And I knew in my gut that this was not his first crime.

He started to drive slowly out of the mall parking lot. And he didn't know this, but I was able to wriggle my hands free. And I kept them behind my back and I surveyed the situation. He didn't know that I could see, but I could see down to either side to the left and to the right. I saw that my seat belt was on.

The knife was put down at that point and he's got both hands on the steering wheel. And I thought to myself, if I could just get out of the car, even if I rolled out, if I broke a leg or broke my arm, at least I'd be free.

“And so I can remember just taking a huge deep breath and trying to undo the seat belt”

and get out of the car door. But he was too fast. And he grabbed me by my shirt with both hands. And he said, you try that (bleep) again. And your face won't be so pretty anymore.

That's when I realized that this could potentially be the last day of my life. That this guy might kill me. To this day, it still haunts me to think that he had stalked me. It struck me as very odd that his car was parked so close to mine. And there was nobody else in the parking lot.

After I tried to escape, he took my hands behind my back and a very forceful way and tied them really tight behind my back with these zip ties.

“And I remember saying to him, you need to loosen these.”

I can't feel my fingers and there was no motion. He said nothing. And I remember getting this image of my mom getting a phone call that I had been murdered. And I remember at that point I started to cry. And the tears had loosened the band aids.

And I was able to see even a little bit more. And I made a vow to myself and that car I said, if I get out of this alive, he is not going to get away with it. And it was a conscious decision to remember every detail that I could. And I noticed that there was a city sticker on the windshield of his car.

And I tried to remember the year and the city. The antenna was broken and taped. There was a beaded seat cushion on his seat. Looking towards my left, I could see the profile of his face.

But really thick glasses.

His hair was disheveled. And his car was very messy. It was a transam with bucket seats.

“And at this point we were on the expressway.”

So we were driving, I would guess for maybe 45 minutes to an hour. I'm not exactly sure. On the expressway, I noticed that there was a sign for the town Wakanda. Trying to catalog. And then as he pulled off the expressway,

I noticed all these street names were presidential names. So on my head, I'm cataloging all these presidential names. He had pulled off of the expressway.

And into a forest preserve.

And I glanced around and there's no one around. And as the car stopped, my body just stiffened. He asked me what dress size I was. And I could hear him rustling in the back. And I heard a styrofoam cooler.

And he pulled out this evening gown and he ordered me to disrobe in the car. And at that moment, he had untied my hands in order for me to get my jacket off. And I thought to myself, should I run? And I didn't know where I was. But I had this image of me running through the woods and him catching me and cutting my throat.

So I just decided to do whatever I could to get out of the situation alive. And I could feel my heart beating in my chest so fast. And he put this evening gown on me that he had taken from the back seat. And when he zipped up the side zipper, it fit me like a glove. And I can remember feeling just like that you're part of someone's sick psychological fantasy.

And then over this dress, he put on another blue satin dress. And then another red silk jacket. And with every layer of clothes he put on, I just felt farther and farther away from myself. [Music] After he dressed me in this ridiculous satin clothing, I was sexually assaulted in the car.

And at that moment, I didn't know if this experience was over.

“If it's going to get worse, am I going to be killed?”

And through that entire experience, it was the not knowing was the most terrifying. There were some tears that had fallen down my cheeks. So he had taken the silk handkerchief. And he said, "Your mascara is running." And he wiped the tears from my face.

And it just gave me the chills, made me sick to my stomach. And he wound up driving again. And I didn't know where we were going. And he was driving up this parking garage. And he pulled over up at the top floor.

He opened the door to that stairwell of the parking garage. And he threw me in and he ordered me to count to 100. And I can remember walking down these steps. And I found myself in an auto repair shop. And there was somebody this man was looking down doing his paperwork.

And he looked up at me and his face just fell. And he said, "Oh my God, what happened to you?" And I couldn't even answer. I was just in shock. And he said, "I'm calling the police."

And I also had to speak to the 911 dispatcher. Hello. Hello, ma'am. Can you tell me what your name is? Angela.

Are you okay? Yes. Can you tell me anything about the car?

“Did you get the license plate or the color license plate?”

It was like it was a transam. It was like it was brown. All I can tell you, he blindfolded me. Did you sexually assault you in any way? Yes.

Is it the officer there, ma'am? Yes. Okay. You'll take care of your car. Okay.

Bye, Angela. After the 911 call, I had to make the scariest call I've ever had to make. And that was to my dad.

My dad has always tried to protect me.

I had to be home way earlier than anybody else.

“And I said, "Dad, listen, something bad happened to me.”

We called the police and we're going to need to go down to the police station." I'm a little bit older than you. I'm a little bit older than you. I'm a little bit older than you. I'm a little bit older than you. I'm a little bit older than you.

I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you.

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I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you.

I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you. I'm a little older than you.

He came very prepared, which made us think that this guy has probably done this before. When this incident did take place in a large mall parking lot in the daylight, we were concerned that the offender was not afraid to do this and that he would definitely repeat again if he wasn't caught quickly. At that point, he was still on the loose.

“There was also that fear of did he know where I lived?”

I sat down with the two detectives and they said to me, Angela, we're going to do everything we can to catch the sky. We have daughters of our own, so they want to me to recount everything that I could remember. And I remember telling them about the car that it was a brown transam and older model, the city sticker that was on the windshield,

the broken antenna, everything that I could remember. She was able at the age of 17 to maintain composure to try and remember every detail of this offender. What he looked like, his vehicle, the route they were taking.

In my 29 years of doing this job, Angela is by far the best witness that I've never dealt with.

Then they said, is it okay if we take you for a ride? We want to go back and drive that same route that he took you. And also drive to the forest preserve where you were sexually assaulted. Is that okay? It was so eerie to relive that experience just a couple days later

to see those same street signs, to go that same route,

“to try and find that exact spot that he had parked in that forest preserve.”

And then when they got back to the police station, they wanted to sit down and do a sketch of his face. Angela said that he had brown untidy hair. He had thick lens glasses. He had a couple days stubble or growth

and that he's about 170 to 185. Once the composite sketch was completed, we put it out to surrounding departments and we put it out to the media. All right, the schedule to work the afternoon shift

is a detective with the Wheeling Police Department. That morning I was home. I was watching the 11am news and a story came on about a kidnapping and sexual assault which occurred at the Woodfield Mall in Shamburg.

Upon seeing the composite and hearing the description of the vehicle, it was like holy cow. There's no doubt my mind who did this. This was the same man that we have done surveillance as in the past.

I then grabbed my stuff and headed into work a few hours earlier. That contacted the Shamburg Police Department. The name of the man that we're looking for is Robert Copa. And he was a convicted and prod killer.

He had decades of different crimes from sexual assault, rape, kidnapped, and he had murdered a 15-year-old girl. And to hear that word, murder, it felt like all the breath

had been sucked out of my chest. He was sentenced to 30 years and then served half the time for good behavior and he was on parole for only a year and a half when he kidnapped me.

But in all the time that he was in prison,

he never got any psychological help.

He refused all counseling.

“And because of that, his own parole officer”

was so concerned that this guy was going to be back out on the street. He called the local police department to let them know. At the time, no one was very happy that they convicted killer only served 15 years

out of a 30-year sentence. My feeling was that this person needs to be put away forever. We thought now we know who you are. We got you identified now, we just need to grab you.

And when we pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex, we saw the vehicle, a brown transam that matched the description

of what Angela told us. This is the actual vehicle that Robert Copa used to kidnapped Angela. With the broken antenna, with the duct tape,

“with the beaded seats in the dry receipt,”

with the village sticker in the windshield. When we searched Mr. Copa's vehicle, we found a knife at the black handle. We also found flex cuffs in the vehicle that matched.

We also found band aids in there that matched what Angela was hand on her eyes. There was also a styrofoam container in the back seat. When we arrested Mr. Copa,

he was very quiet, very cooperative, no emotion whatsoever. He didn't even inquire us to why we were there. When I walked in

to pick him out of the lineup, it was really scary to see his face again. All that was separating us was this glass.

“And even though there was four other men”

dressed in the exact same outfit, I knew exactly which one he was. All of them were holding different numbers, and I said number three without question. Detectors went into his apartment,

and we recovered women's clothing, evening gowns, dresses, that matched what Angela had to wear during her attack. We knew that we had a very strong case against Mr. Copa. Unfortunately, that was not the end of it.

It took another four years before Copa actually went to trial,

and when he finally did get to trial,

his public defenders had an interesting take on his defense. They tried to convince the court that their client was insane. Statistically speaking, I shouldn't be alive today. When someone gets into a perpetrator's car,

they don't make it out. For my mom, she would rather not talk about it, and I understand because it makes her think of the day that she potentially almost lost her daughter. Knowing what evil exists in the world,

and knowing what people can be capable of, is something that I'm going to have to deal with forever. The list of charges against Robert Copa are so ugly and terrifying, kidnapping, armed violence, sexual assault, hearing all the details of what happened to Angela that night,

plus Copa's life-long history of violence. His public defenders knew they would have a very difficult time trying to see to jury that would have any sympathy for this guy. So they decided to gamble, and they requested a bench trial.

A bench trial is when a judge decides the case instead of a jury. You do carry a burden as a prosecutor, and it becomes your personal responsibility to make sure that this guy doesn't go out and hurt somebody else. Robert Copa pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity,

and the defense strategy was to show that he had had over the years a series of head injuries, including a motorcycle accident, which had given him a traumatic brain damage and affected his impulse control. And so this was not a hood on it, everyone knew who did it.

It was why he did it. It felt like a slap in the face to me.

Never once did I feel like he was not in control of himself,

because he controlled the entire situation from the moment that he put that knife to my throat. If this was an impulse act, in my opinion, it would have happened right there in the mall. It would have been quick, over, done, and gone. He's not going to have the dresses there in the vehicle. He's not going to have all these tools of his trade for lack of better words.

[music] Testifying was a really, really difficult experience, and seeing him in court and he just stared at me.

“And I remember having my hands kind of clasped in front of me,”

and just digging my nails into my hands, because it was just such a... [sighs] Because it's not only the experience of you testifying, but also being cross-examined by the defense attorney.

As a witness, Angela was strong. She stood right up in the witness box, and pointed directly to Mr. Copa and said, "That's him right over there." This incident had obviously been seared into her mind,

and she remembered the details years later, as if it had happened to her the day before. It took the judge only 15 minutes to find Copa guilty of all the charges, but convicting Copa of the violent crimes he'd been accused of

was never really the problem.

“The problem was trying to keep him off the street,”

so he couldn't do it again. But this time around, he was life in prison with no parole. So this time around, he went away for good. When the judge said that he was being sentenced to life with no possibility of parole,

this wave of relief just washed over me, feeling this sort of peace to know that he wasn't going to hurt anybody else again. In my opinion, this wasn't the police that made this case. This was Angela.

It doesn't happen often where everything aligns up this way. The stars aligned, so it was really nice that this one worked out the way it did. The fact that all those details that I had remembered that they were able to use my testimony in court

“as they said to kind of seal the deal to put him away for life”

was a very powerful feeling.

And I knew that I couldn't just stop after the trial. I really made a promise to myself that I was going to turn these negative feelings of anger into activism. And I chose to become public with my story and to show my face and to not be the silent victim

because I knew that this issue of sexual assault was bigger than me and it was bigger than my story. Angela Rose. And I founded an organization called "Pave" and it's promoting awareness victim empowerment.

I felt this calling to speak out about this experience that happened to me but also help other people use their voice. All along this journey, people would stop me and say, Angela, thank you for your voice because this happened to me.

I was raped when I was 16 years old and that was the beginning of hell for the next three years of my life. I heard about Delaney's case and I knew after hearing her story that I had to get in touch with her. And you know, I start crying because it was the first time

that someone actually had taken it upon themselves to go out of their way to try to help me.

She was always so open with us that I couldn't imagine

there was any secrets. Delaney was always a happy, bubbly, bouncy kid. She played every sport and every sport she played well. Delaney had a lot of friends, her birthday parties

were always big events. But in the summer of 2011, we noticed some started out as subtle changes that became major changes and we couldn't figure out what it was. She was starting to have panic attacks

and she would just say, nothing's wrong, Mom. I'm just nervous about school starting. [Music] It was June 3, 2011. It was the last day of school, so everyone was really excited.

[Music] We decided to do other beach to celebrate the last day. Me and my two girlfriends went, hung out for a little while and then we came back to my house because my parents weren't home. My two friends invited boys over to my house.

We smoked marijuana.

but I figured why not.

“My parents aren't home, so I just decided to try it for once.”

We were all sitting around the table,

just laughing and doing the night. I started to get really light-headed, so I got up and walked to my bedroom and decided to just lay down and kind of rest, and I closed the door. Eventually, I heard whispering and footsteps,

then realized that it was a two boys. At that point, I knew something was wrong, and they came in and they raped me. [Music] I remember being so scared, and I remember tears,

like streaming down in my face. You know, I just remember feeling the guilt of like, you know, this is my fault, I can't tell anyone. [Music] At the end of August, in the summer of 2011,

I got a call from one of Delaney's friends' moms, and she told me that her daughter had come to her etiquette, sir, because Delaney had divulged her a secret that she couldn't hold that, Delaney had been sexually assaulted by two boys in her school.

And at first, I told that mom, no.

You know, this is my kid, I would know, if something like this happened, because I'm a good mom. [Music] So we were in the car, and we pulled in the driveway,

“and I turned her, and I said, you need to look me in the eye,”

and tell me whether this happened. And she started to cry, and she just nodded her head, and she couldn't look me in the eye. And there's no handbook that says how to handle those moments. But I knew I had a major battle on my hands.

I just know how big it was going to be. Her dad and I knew that it was important to report it to the police, and she just kept saying, they're going to kill me mom, they're going to kill me. They're coming after me, they're going to kill me. I'm not going to report.

If you make me do it, I will lie. I will say it didn't happen. One of the two boys that Delaney says raped her was only 16 years old, a minor in the eyes of the law, so we're not going to use his name.

But the other was 17 years old. Shane Villapondo. This is a kid who was very well-known, very well-liked at her high school. He was an athlete.

Every single person on campus knew who Shane Villapondo was. He was the popular kid. He was the one who everyone looked up to and respected. He basically owned the school.

That entire summer, I never came out of the house.

I never again slept in my bed.

“I slept on the couch, and I can honestly tell you”

the first day of school when I went back. It was probably the most terrifying day. There were rumors about what happened over summer, what had gone down. There was definitely a lot of whispering in the hallways.

When I was at my locker, I'd look across the hall, and people would be staring at me talking. There'd be a group that would form, and they would all face in my direction and start talking out loud about how I was a slut.

And I was a whore. Months go by, and Delaney is still refusing to go to police. She's also still being taunted daily at school and in her town, and feels utterly alone. Until one day she realizes she's not alone.

She's absolutely devastated when she discovers that Shane has allegedly raped another girl. This girl is only 14 years old. I can't even explain the amount of guilt that I felt because I hadn't reported it,

and because I hadn't gone through with it and stopped him. And because I felt like I was too afraid to be able to stand up against him that he had gone and done it to another person. So I went, and I found her,

and I was sitting down next to her and looking at her and putting my arm around her, and I said, "We need to report this." That's what happened. I did not know what was going on.

I just kind of just faded, I didn't really say anything. I kind of just said, "I'm really tired." Can I just go to sleep? I'm really tired. I said that over and over again.

And it lasted for probably 45 minutes or more. The two young men are arrested. The 16 year old is charged as a juvenile, and his record is now sealed. But Shane Velopondo was charged as an adult.

And now, one of the most popular boys in high school was facing potential jail time. After the boys were arrested, the tormenting got 10 times worse.

and in techs, things like snitches, need stitches, and a lot of, you just wanted to have sex with two guys.

“I remember there was one post on Facebook”

that it was a conversation between two people and one of the comments was like, "I just want to beat her up." And then the next comment was another person saying, "How about I attack her knock her out and you can spit on her?" There was another one that said, "I can't believe you haven't disappeared.

We're going to make you disappear." But these people were all hiding behind a computer screen or behind a phone. I was terrified. To the point I dropped out of school,

I was homeschooled the last month. I couldn't even finish my junior year of high school. (dramatic music) It wasn't surprising that Delaney was experiencing this harassment after reporting her sexual assault.

(dramatic music) A lot of young rape victims go through very similar things. The two boys that raped Delaney were students at a private Catholic high school. They were not the type of people that society sees

as a rapist, so it was easy to pass blame onto a young girl who was high on marijuana and judge her and say, "She's lying about what happened to her." If I came to you and said, "My child has cancer."

Your first response would most likely be, "Oh, my goodness.

How can I help? What can I do?" But if I come to you and say, "My child was raped." What I get a lot of, including by good friends of mine. Was she drinking? What was she wearing?

Who was she with? My daughter made one mistake. That thousands of kids make. The day I hit complete rock bottom, I got probably 50 tax messages from different people

all saying the same things, "How could you do this? You are a liar." She locked herself in the bathroom and I knew. I knew. So we broke open the door. She was laying on the bathroom floor.

And I scooped her up in my arms and I said, "What did you do?" And I look up in the mirror and she had written on the mirror. I'm so sorry. Hey, it's Jen Hatmaker.

Here's what I've learned in mid-life.

Joy isn't the reward you earn after all the work is done. Joy is the work.

“That's what this new series on for the love is all about.”

The sacred, yes. It's choosing delight, rest, and pleasure on purpose. Because saying yes to yourself. That's the thing that finally lets you fill your table with everybody else. Come find your sacred, yes, with me.

Follow and listen to for the love wherever you get your podcasts. Friends that I had talked to every day wouldn't even look at me in the hallway. And it was their parents that wouldn't look at me.

They would be my old softball coach, just my old second grade teacher.

People in our town that I was very familiar with wouldn't even look at me in the eye because they were so disgusted of what I did. So it was at that point that I wanted my life to end. I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to go through this. I decided to take my own life. I took a bottle of pills.

I wanted my life to end. And I literally remember my parents taking me to hospital and thinking to myself why didn't I take more. And she turned to me and said go ahead mom, go ahead yell yell at me. And she goes I've lost everything last my school.

I've lost my friends. So these are moments that you think. God, if just one kid had stood up with her.

“If one kid had just said I believe you, it would have changed so much.”

I think a lot of people would say get tougher skin.

For people like Delaney, it wasn't just words.

“It was very deep to her and it ate her up alive.”

And Delaney didn't think that she could go through with it. She didn't think she could go through with. The entire process of prosecution. Because it's still long and lengthy process and it's so emotional. And it's so draining. And I shared it with her how I was a sexual assault victim.

And she realized that she's not alone and she doesn't have to go through it alone. The fact that she confided in me gave me more strength to be able to testify.

In the case of the 14-year-old girl, Shane Velopondo was convicted by a jury of three counts of unlawful sex with the minor.

Also known as statutory rape. In Delaney's case, the prosecutor offered him a plea deal. He took it, pleading guilty to one more count. Shane Velopondo was sentenced to one year in County jail. And five years probation during which he must register as a sex offender wherever he lives.

Him or just trying as a sex offender was the biggest part of the plea that was important to me. He's not going to be able to move anywhere without people knowing exactly who he is. Even though the case is over and Shane was sentenced, it's not something that just goes away. Her entire identity for the rest of her life will have this lingering.

“So I think that for Delaney, the healing process is just started.”

Even though I'm in college and another state, I do come home every so often to visit my family, but it's not the same. I still can't sleep in my old bedroom. They built another room inside the garage for me. It's not my home anymore. It's more just a place I go to visit my family.

For Delaney, the your deal was far from over. One night, she logged on to Facebook only to discover that a friend of Shane, a local rap artist named Anthony Morello, had written a really nasty song about her. And he recorded it. It not only disclosed her full name, but the 14 year olds as well.

And it seemingly went on to threaten her. Because I've come up with your head. About two o'clock in the morning, we get a call and her dad, Chris answers the phone. And the only words he hears out of her sobbing is daddy, I'm so scared, I'm so scared. She was terrified.

I knew that this had to meetly go to police because I was scared for my life. You know, I thought I was going to be killed. Want to be rapper Anthony Morello is facing two felony counts for threatening to kill two rape victims in a song he posted online. Like when they started playing the song, I was, I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

And I was like, like, kept going. The worst it got. The worst I got. In the end, the judge dismissed the felony charges against Anthony Morello saying, although the lyrics were offensive, they were not genuinely a threat to anyone, including Delaney. Morello's attorney had argued that the lyrics were actually protected by the constitutional right to free speech.

And essentially, the judge agreed. The prosecution, however, strongly disagreed and planned to appeal. This isn't just words. This is a message to her.

“They wanted to torment her, and that's what they did.”

It is heart-wrenching to know it Delaney and what so many other survivors of sexual assault go through, the bullying, the victim blaming. One of the reasons why I wanted to reach out to Delaney was just to give her hope. I know your heart's been broken, and mine's been to, and if you're still in pain, you know I'm here for you.

Music for me has always been an escape, and I think for a lot of survivors of trauma, putting their feelings into music can be really therapeutic.

I remember talking to me and pausing and saying, "D Delaney, do you realize that you're not a victim, you're a survivor?" She is my guardian angel, because she's watching over me. I remember one day waking up and thinking, "I want to make a difference."

I am a survivor, and I can tell people my story and let them know that you're not alone, that you're not on your own, like I was, and you never will be.

“Whatever I do in my life, I want to help people.”

I was putting this situation for a reason, and I came out of it for a reason.

I'm so matured, and now you see, the grown so vast.

“I need someone who love my future, and my past, I'm not your average girl.”

I want to change the world, the passion in my heart.

It's very important to move on.

“I am in love with my best friend, and it's just an incredible new chapter of my life.”

When you go through something like that, you do carry it for the rest of your life. I mean, it changes a part of you, and so to hear that Delaney called me her guardian angel, makes me feel, "Ah, like I've lived my life for something." The charges against Anthony Maria were reinstated in 2017, a jury found him not guilty.