Pregnancy, C-Section Guilt & Morning Sickness

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I'm pregnant. Every one in my life has known for a month. In my real life, this section was like, "Mother, I had to do that after going through labor for so many hours." I used to look at my scar, looking at the mirror and like, "Oh, my body betrayed me." I've done this four times, and every time I'm like, "I'm gonna really eat healthy and try to do this, get broccoli." Literally, that's only time I threw up, but my body rejected it.

We don't need that. I'm like, "You guys are huge in that, baby." Welcome back to OECR. We're your host, Abby Howard, and Abby Howard. How are you feeling? So much better. We had, we got hit with a nasty stomach bug. I'm assuming it was Norovirus. Just with how it was in and out and so punchy, but I also didn't look like this actually day two after Norov. Really? You didn't look like this? So maybe it was just like a 25-hour thing. I was really down.

I thought I needed fluids. Okay, then maybe it wasn't that. It could have been. I mean, okay, so CJ got down with it on Saturday, and he got sick a lot, like, ten times. But by the end of the night, he was already on the up and up. And we didn't get it for a couple days. We felt fine, felt totally normal, Wednesday. Well, I guess Tuesday night late at like midnight.

“I got, oh my tummy don't feel good. It was midnight. Why are you waking midnight?”

I was reading our book. Oh, I finished it. I told you I won. You did it. I did it. Oh, and that's probably what did you end. Yeah, it was all those words. It just made my stomach all scrambled. Wait a minute, midnight on Tuesday night. I go, oh my stomach feels really weird. And then I went to bed woke up at 4 a.m. and I said, I will puke at some point.

And I had those frownies on my face. I said, I have to get up before I take these frownies off. Or if I throw up with these on my forehead, we'll get ripped off my face. So that's my, that's tight. So I got up at 4.30 in the morning. It was taking a while. Did you wake Caleb up because you knew you were to throw up? No, I didn't. Oh, no, I can't. I didn't. I didn't. No, I'm not scared of it. Like you were the doctor.

I mean, when he got up for work and I think he got up at 5 a.m. And I went back to bed and I said, hey, I think I have the stomach flu. And I guess he went to work and then came back and he, I was still asleep. And he said, yeah, I have it too. And all day we were down. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, Caleb had a way worse than I did. But it was just one of those things where you're on your back on the couch.

You guys weren't really growing up, so I got it. I know. If you're on the kids that are Jim and none of them, no one got it. Yeah, and I feel like CJ got at the worst of all the kids too. Yeah. So I don't know what that says about our family. Your immune systems are down from down, down, down from lockdown.

I actually was thinking about that voice.

I know you finally got the courage to go back.

Let's see what we did to exit the worst of them all. The stomach bug.

“I actually think I have a hot take. I think this, I think I would rather stomach bug”

than the like than a nose, not flu situation. I mean, you as you're both in the two percent. I know, but it's because it's one miserable day and like one day of a lot of clean up. But then after that, it's gone where as the sinus respiratory infections say last for like 10 days. Yeah, but you can tell yourself you're better if you have a sinus respiratory infection.

You cannot tell yourself you're better if you're vomiting. I know. I think it's like a clear down and then a clear clear. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know what you're saying but I do not agree. I literally, like, Griffin threw up one time.

All he never got sick and Griffin threw up one time and Matt was gone.

And I literally was like, what would you do? I can't not. I know. I was so scared. It's like, really smells so bad.

Well, I was also being a really selfish mom. I was like, I touched this. I know. I could get it and that will be the end of everything. I know.

This is so bad. It was bad. I don't understand how Griffin threw up one time to get there 10. I know. I'm like, maybe they got something different.

I don't know what different they would have gotten. You know? Griffin also had a really big day the day that that happened. But it's still unusual for him to decide. I mean, we didn't, we skipped Naps.

We went hard all day. And yeah. I'm surprised to be for. Yeah, that just didn't seem like him.

“So I think he definitely had a touch of it.”

I don't know if that's even possible. I mean, I think he had to. I don't know. I was thinking about that voicemail from last week when she asked about having anxiety with the more kids she has with sickness.

I think I've come to a conclusion of why I had that.

I think because my my capacity was so maxed out these last six months. I just felt like I couldn't handle another thing. And so I felt like if my kids got sick, it would just tip me over the edge of my sanity. And so I waited to bring them back to childcare until I knew I could handle them getting sick. Okay, that's more.

And then we said, we get the stomach bug and I'm ready. We're ready for this. I wasn't stressed out. Maybe you don't usually get that. I don't think they even.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll report back next week if she does. But yeah, I was kind of thinking about that.

“I think that'd be really weird for a six month old to get it.”

It came really throw up. I don't think. Yeah. Just spit up. Yeah, just spit up.

I was like, I even think about that. But I'm like, what I know the difference between it. For else throwing up versus it. Maybe that's okay. Maybe it would just be constant.

I don't know.

I've never experienced that.

I was like an underweight. It would be like the hydration stuff. Right. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, but we made it through.

You made it through. Sorry. Thanks for rescuddling this. That's right. We're here to share the hope and the hard stomach virus.

We all had it. Actually, we were talking really. I have very distinct memories of the stomach virus growing up. And one of them I was telling Matt was, which was really ironic. Given everything.

I was like, Matt, the my most distinct memory. I literally remember walking my parents' room. I was one of those kids that never knew when I was going to vomit. I was going to vomit. I was like, I don't feel in a puke in their doorway.

Like, I was honestly like as a parent. I think that would be so funny. I still get that way as an adult. I don't know when it's coming. Because I'm just like, oh, you're anxious.

So anxious.

But I vomited my parents doorway.

And I remember what it was. My role as part of the details. And I, my forever is in my dad's day to home with me that day. Because both my parents worked full time growing up in my dad's day home with me. And me and him.

Maybe he had it too. We watched life size two times. I watched the whole movie with Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan. And then I was like, let's watch it again. And he's like, you want to watch it again?

I was like, yes. Yes. He sat and watched. This was before cell phones guys. It's not like he was just like entertaining himself on the side.

Like he fully watched life size two times. It was so sweet. Four hours of Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan for my dad. Shout out. Shout out.

I remember that. That's really sweet. It was good. Someone said we should do things our dad taught us episode. Oh gosh.

Maybe on fathers day we'll do things our dad taught us. I can't share what my dad has taught me actually. We're really not the children of that advice. We're really not the children of that advice. I actually think I'm probably a little bit more like my dad than my mom,

which people would probably be surprised by. I used to think I was more like my dad.

“I think now I'm like a really eating mix.”

Honestly, I feel like I see a lot of things in my mom, but I'm like and I see a lot of things in my dad. Whereas before I used to only really really lead to my dad on stuff. Yeah. We definitely lean more towards you dad.

I would say. I don't know because my dad feels more like sensitive. Well, no, I'm probably a more like my dad. Like more introverted. I don't think you're sensitive.

No, I'm not. My mom's not sensitive. Okay. Yeah. So I get that from my mom.

I don't know. I'm saying flesh and throat. That's a flesh and throat. Anyway, so many good men. I like your way more like you're done.

Yeah.

Which is amazing because my dad also doesn't talk in public settings.

And I can't. I saw that video by Alonamar. I think she's hilarious. She said, I, this was recommended to me. So I think it was like, you know that this relates to you.

Like, shout it to all my extroverts. And she's like, I cannot contain myself. She's like explaining all the circumstances and what she's like, I don't want to talk to you. And she's like in an elevator.

She's like, I got to talk about the weather. And I'm not going to be doing that day. And it's like, I don't know if I'm necessarily like that in that way. But I definitely like get energized from being around people. And then like when I come home from something, I'm like, wow, I got

to like settle down and then that's like already cashed out. Yeah. And so I'm like, man, interesting totally. This week's episode, we're actually going to be talking about our February. March.

A club book atmosphere. We're saving that for the end of those of you that didn't read the book. Then you can just dip out a little early. Or you can listen to it and just know that there's going to be spoilers. But for those of you that participated in the book club.

Look forward to that at the, at the end of this episode. Yes. Crazy weekend. We had a party over here. CJ got sick.

There's a lot going on in TV. Or in Laws of Rintown. Or in Laws of Rintown. Yeah. We watched a ton of TV.

You did. That's a lot of TV. That's a lot of TV. That's the time. A lot of superlives and women wives.

A lot of Disney movies.

“Well, you know, why does that feel healthier than scrolling on your phone?”

It does. It does. I was like, keep the screen time to admit. I'm glued to the TV. That's actually sad.

Like, that was like brain rot when we were growing up and now it brain rot has gotten so crazy. Worst. Well, the TV is on 24/7 now with March Man is starting in our household. Oh, yeah. You started at 9 a.m. this morning.

That's too late to make a bracket. Yeah. Sting it. Mr. Blake sent it to our family group chat. And I didn't do one.

It was for his work.

Oh, a thousand dollars.

I had no odds. It was sheer luck. I don't know. I don't know. I need to see you.

I don't study my bracket. But yeah. Like the name of that school. We're not really a TV family. Like, we don't really.

“I think it's because Matt gets the ADHD.”

If the TV were on, he would have to be cashed out for everything else. Yeah. Watching it. So yeah. I grew up in a TV family.

Caleb changed that. And maybe because he's like, hey, during the day, we should be product. It's. So I had to learn and turn the TV off, which I used to just love like the background noise of it.

Oh, I do find it distracting. So I mean, I ever have an under in the day. Yeah. It's gonna be. Yeah.

But after dinner time, we always have a show.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Well, it's a little sad that the secret lives of warm and rise seems healthier than scrolling on your phone.

I didn't watch it. But this season has been crazy. And the news just broke as we're recording this. That the bacherat has been canceled. Man, they took her.

They took her risk. They did. They took her risk. And it didn't work out. I know.

I thought. Everybody's for. Oh, my gosh. All the time saw every single Sunday. They had booked on the TV network.

Like, winner. Like, hi. What are they going to fill it with? What are we running for? I mean, there's so much.

Keezing, but all those men that went into time off work. And the other not going to get their five minutes of fame. Exactly. I mean, all the production, everything. Yeah.

I mean, that's terrible. Can you look that up? I bet you can see how much it costs to produce a season. Yeah.

Producing a season that bachelor costs $7 million.

I don't know if that would be more. Me too, actually. Yeah. They're good. So there's like travel and dates staffing over 200 producers.

Well, the lead salary, which can range from $100,000 to $250,000. She's getting paid more than that for that. Contestant costs. They're not as paid. They're not as paid.

I'm sure. They're not paid, but they must further on wardrobe and stuff to appear. And then the rings are gifted. But I do not agree with anything she's done. It actually makes me sick when I watch the video.

I want to see the season. I know. I kind of want to watch the season too. Watch it. She's kind of interested in her.

And you're like, no. I just want to see the season. It was a stretch to begin, I know. It was going to be, it's going to be crazy. And I want to know.

I know. It would have been interesting to watch. I understand why they canceled it. Yes. And I think that was probably a good call.

But yeah, I just feel bad for every one of all. It's just hard. Really hard situation. I just got a pipe in for those of you that also dislike reality TV. I just can't find it fun.

Even all this like conversation. It just really actually stresses me out. Really? So bad. Well, okay.

The real housewife does stress me out. But a bachelor doesn't feel stressful because it's just so light.

“Oh, I think the secret lives of warm and wife stresses me out.”

Even more than how it's really. It feels a little too close to me. I was going to say it is kind of person with I've been being creators and like the whole. It's all about creative events and brand deals and nothing. That's true.

It makes me nauseous. That's really good. Can I say I broke the news so I feel like our our whole friend group that. That canceled. I had to mute.

I was like. Here's the thing. Guess who broke the news to me. You're Blake. Blake.

That's. I love when her husband's getting into the.

You would never admit it, but he does watch it.

I mean, your dad watches it with your mom. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What is up with that? They just love TV.

They just love TV, man. It is something. I don't know why the housewives feels different than secret lives. Because I think, well, they're older. Well, I think with housewives, it's been on for so long that you kind of pick up the patterns.

Like, oh, they're going to this dinner just so they can have a fight. Or they're going to this event just they can have a fight. That's right. I feel like that's. No, but I feel like the secret lies more and more.

Maybe feels different because the all that drama continues off camera. And you see it on their videos. Oh, they're like, oh, this is real. Yeah. More so to me with them.

Like the other thing. I don't believe it. I don't believe any. I've so much this tries with like media and general. I'm like, yeah.

I don't. I've also never seen it. Is it mostly them fighting? No. No, I'm being part of it.

Part of it.

“I think the reason it does feel real is because they're taking the stuff that's happening in the show and posting on their Instagram story.”

Like, yeah, in real time. Or I was just watching season three. I realized I forgot to watch it. And she. Demi was like, I'm going to go live right now and explode exposed everything that's happening.

And they're like, she can't do that. That's against her NDA. And they're like chasing her down. So she doesn't go live on Instagram. They break the first wall a lot.

Yeah. On this. You're like, tomorrow. Why is like, they're like, for doing it for me. I like that though.

I know. I do like that. Like with me being like, this is business for me. Like we're not friends. And she's like, I'm here to do a brand deal with this with mom talk.

Yes. So it's like, I don't, I'm also creator. That doesn't, that I don't relate to any part of that. I don't like, draw my own. I really know.

I have a really hard time. So I'm just thinking about that. I'm like, if I were in their shoes,

Well, I would never get casted for it.

She'll like that.

“I guess we're the least drawn like petty people.”

I'm like, I'll just forgive.

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. I'm like, I don't just take a bath.

Let's read a book. Let's read a book. Let me just read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book.

I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book.

I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book.

I don't want to read a book.

I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book. I don't want to read a book.

I'm going to listen to it on audiobook. It's about a podcast. It's a podcast. We're not doing the book. I thought the movie was fine.

I'm not hating on it. I think the actors did a good job. Maybe it's just not my genre. I think the actors did a good job. Maybe it's just not my genre.

Let's be honest. I did as well. I did cry.

“One off topic thing that earned me during it was the main character.”

What's his name? Ledger. Ledger. His hair should have been buzzed. It was just a little too long and his beard was needed to be cleaned up.

I don't know why they chose that look for him. I thought he would have looked a lot better with a little bit of scruff and completely like shaved off him. Okay. I agree about that. Just a random.

His name is Ledger. Yeah. I'm sorry.

I've never read any of her books.

Every time I hear a character's name from her books, I'm like, I don't like that. You don't like Ledger either. I don't like Ledger. I don't like that. I don't like that.

I actually kind of like that. I just, I guess because I just know all of the names that she picks her books are kind of odd. Because I'm just needed to like, come on, come on, come on, come on. Press your ticket jack. That's kind of normal.

Pick a, yeah. Okay, can I? Okay. Can I? Ledger.

I know this because I'm currently listening to the audiobook. It's a little awkward to listen to. It's funny. So there's my on exciting opinion on that.

I feel like don't go to the theater.

I would say, watch it if you read the book, but don't go to the theater if you haven't already.

Interesting. Not really necessarily worth it. Well, oh, I haven't even said this yet. She's in the biggest big of all. I forgot that it's with his episode.

Honestly, we start talking about other things. I'm like, well, I'm pregnant. That feels so weird to say here. I feel like for so long. I know.

We've been dodging. I just got so comfortable not talking about it. Right. Anyway, it's not like I really talk about that much of my personal life either. I feel like.

Yeah, I feel like we, yeah, I was just talking about others. Yeah, yeah. It was just different this time. Like navigating everything is different. Everything is different this time.

So how far along are you? I am 19 weeks. So yeah, about times comes out. I'll be 20. You've hidden it very well.

Really. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. Very well.

I keep saying it's not that it was necessarily a secret from like.

Like everyone in my life has known for months. Like in my real life. But it was just kind of like I wasn't ready to talk open it up. Yeah. Internet, you know.

Sure.

“So yeah, it's like, that's why it feels weird I guess because it's like,”

it's become so common in a way like in regular conversation and life. Except for like these. Couple hours at the cameras are on. Right. Just like avoid it.

But yeah. So halfway. Woo hoo. Which is exciting. I actually saw recently that the biggest like.

Growth jump you experience is from 18 to 22 weeks. Which actually I was like that kind of surprised me. And then I was like actually know that checks out. I think it makes a lot of money. Because by the end I feel like you just start to like you pop.

Yeah. Well, the end you're growing the baby's growing a lot. But I feel like you already have like all this. It's just like they just start taking up more the percentage of it. And now it's just like right now.

I was just like, yeah. Fluid. Yeah. You feel the numbers happening. But I felt kicks at 17 weeks.

Which was such a gift. And so now it's like feeling like better and real but it's been. Wild journey found out on my birthday. I actually didn't know that. Yeah.

Well, I didn't believe it. So I didn't really. Of course. Yeah. That's like there's a line there and what does that mean?

I was confused. Did you know how it all happened? It was in Branson, right? No, no, no. I took a test when you were in Silverdale City.

I took a test on Thanksgiving and it was negative. Okay. And because I took it like a couple like a little early and I feel like everything was off with like my ovulation. Did you just feel off?

No. We were hoping to be pregnant. Okay. Like it's time for my period. So we're like to be exciting if it was positive because it's Thanksgiving.

Yeah. But if it's negative, it'll be okay because it's still a good day because it's Thanksgiving. Yeah. And it was negative and like boo. And then got back from our birthday trip.

And I was like, well, that's where my period started. Took a test and there was like a faint line. And then I was like, I don't know what that means. Yeah. So then the next day I took a digital and it was pregnant.

And I still didn't believe it actually. Wait. That's crazy. It was just very anticlimactic.

“Why do I think you did it when you were visiting family?”

No, that's when I started to have bleeding. Did I tell you about any of that? No. Yeah. So I had, that was six weeks.

I think I was six weeks. I started to have bleeding. And so I thought it was like all done. You did tell me this because that's when you told me that you're pregnant. And that's also why we started to wait to tell people for like a little bit because

it just felt like it was game over for sure. And I mean, the whole pregnancy has been honestly like a mental warfare. Right. But fighting for like joy and excitement. And I feel like we're getting to like a different stage of it now since we're passed.

Like that 17 and a half week mark when we lost Emerson. That's six weeks I started to bleed. Like experience bleeding.

And I have never experienced any bleeding.

I've never seen before. And so that was when we told, I don't know why. I was before that actually because you told us over Christmas. No, I know. But that was still, I told you that that would have been eight weeks.

Then I told you. Oh, so you went to St. Louis before. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah.

Just figuring out this timeline. Sorry. Yeah. We're putting the pieces back together in hindsight. It's really all blurring.

It's very confusing. It's like going on. Well, yeah. And we told. Okay.

So here's how the sister-in-law's found out. It was really there was God's version. God's version. God's version. This is God's version.

You can say. Caleb, we went to Christmas. Yeah, this was Christmas. We went to church.

“And Caleb came home after and he goes, I think Abby's pregnant.”

And I said, "Why?" And he goes, "I don't know she just was working tight dress." And she's normally really small. And she just kind of looked like she had maybe a bump. And I was like, "Kill, that's a crazy thing to say." He was like, "I'm not embarrassed."

But he was like, "I don't mean this." And it's still great. But like, there was a little bit of a bump. And I look back at my picture. And it did kind of look like you had a bump.

I was like, "How do I not notice that?" And then they didn't ask you. No, he didn't ask me, I'll clear his mind. I think he asked Matt. He pulled Matt aside outside.

And he said, "I think Matt told me this. We might be getting this story wrong.

Because we're hearing about it from our husband.

What's dirty?"

But Matt, he looked at Matt.

And he was like, Abby's pregnant. And then Matt was like, "Yeah." [laughter] I remember they disappeared for a long time. And I was like, "Where are they?"

And you guys were all weird. It was weird. It was weird. Yeah, because I had a present that I wanted to give you and Matt at the same time.

It was those shirts. Yeah. Matt and Caleb were inside. It was so weird. It was so unusual for the two of them.

I feel like there's a lot of times in the whole family that we're like, "Where did they go?" Yes. Maybe Caleb didn't tell me that until after you guys told me. And that was why.

For sure. I had no idea why they were disappeared. I didn't know either. So he told me that he thought you're pregnant after you guys told us. Well, because then Matt pulled me aside.

“He's like, "You have to tell Abby right now because Caleb knows”

and he's not gonna." Like, and I wasn't in his bag. It was a bad secret keeper. So he's not gonna keep a secret. Yeah.

And so once again, it's not that there was a secret. It just felt like everything was so fragile. It was so fragile. It was so fragile. Then we told you on Christmas.

And then with Adi and Blake, remind me how this all happened. Yeah. So this happened when did we go to the Tea Party? Was that after Christmas like the beginning of January? No.

It must have still been late December. Late December. Okay. So it was late December. And that morning, we actually let's start back on Christmas.

Also, Christmas Eve, Blake's making wings. And Abby cannot stand a smell of it. Like she was like making remarks about the smell. I didn't know that's Blake told me after the fact. And Blake's like, they were really stinky.

Blake was like, what do you mean? Like, are you pregnant? And then he was like, he felt bad for something. He felt bad for something. Abby didn't acknowledge it.

I don't think she said she didn't really hear it. Or like, I didn't know that. I can kind of remember it or remember it. But I wasn't like offended. Yeah.

And so then Blake was like, yeah. Like you felt bad about it. And then fast forward a couple more days. We go to a Tea Party. And yeah, this wasn't slime, me.

Let's first say, I also would say, we went to the Tea Party last year.

And I was pregnant. And I was nauseous.

“I was like, guys, I remember being so nauseous.”

We were so nauseous. Yeah, yeah, I was like, what is it? A little salmon log. Yeah. Bagels and something else.

And she go cheeky. We get there. And cabby or not. She's taking a little bites. She's like, gagging.

And then I, again, remember how I found out about your pregnancy with Emerson. Like, I was just reading something. I was really investigating it. So then Abby is like, I can't have cabby.

Or like, she, she said, I'm like, you're like, I'm not going to eat that. And then I see her like something up on her phone. And she was not going to eat it. You can have it when you're pregnant. I was like, you shouldn't.

It tastes nasty when you're pregnant. Oh, my gosh. You and your mom were looking at each other. So I'm like, okay, Lori knows. If she's pregnant, Lori knows.

And I was like, okay. Then that night. Also the grandmas were there. Yeah. And you went to wait.

Yeah. That night we went to go see the Christmas lights. And we went to dinner beforehand. And Abby wasn't really eating. And she ordered, what'd you order?

I ordered chicken. Chicken minors and you didn't want that. She would get away. And I was like, I was like, she's like, oh, they just look so bad. Oh, yeah.

And you were in Blake. Like, whenever she walked away, Blake goes, I think Abby's pregnant. I'm like, no way. This happened today. And we talked about our things.

And we're like, the whole time we're walking really. What's going on here? So then I think you guys knew. And then you were investigating or interrogating my mom. Yes.

“And then my mom was like, you have to tell them immediately.”

And so then we called the emergency family game night. And we didn't play any games. And we just told you we were. We didn't really see if they like gave night. It was a birthday day.

They were like, game night and pizza. And we're like, like, they're going to tell us their pregnant. So we have to go. Oh, my God. Not that we weren't going to go.

But we were like, we got to make this work.

Was that before or after, always here dinner.

A book and a writer. That was right before. It was right after because you didn't get home. And I didn't get a drink. And you ordered sushi and had one piece. I was like, either start eating this.

You're at he's going to know. Oh, I knew it. I knew it. I mean, when we were there, I knew. Because you didn't get really like told you yet.

Exactly. That's what you're saying. I kind of knew. But you had to hold me. And I was like, I can only eat the bread.

I was looking at you like. You're serious. There is literally no. I think this was the time when I think Saturday. Is when we had the tea party.

Monday was always here dinner. And then Tuesday you told us. Okay. So you were getting into coach time. Yeah.

So anyway, so it was a terrible job of hiding my symptoms. Gosh, it's such a whiner. I'm going to be really embarrassed that I told the internet that. But you didn't mean it. I mean, my Caleb, she was writing.

I mean, yeah, it was clear in the dress. But I thought that was offended at all. Thank you to Shopify for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Shopify has been a huge player in my life. I actually used Shopify for five years when I had my small clothing business.

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Did you feel as nauseous as the past pregnancies? So, your second trimester? So, your second trimester? So, your second trimester? So, your second trimester?

I took nothing for nausea. And I didn't know you could take anything. You just suffered. I just threw up when I'm not going to say I had the worst morning sickness ever. But I did get sick.

And then when I was pregnant with Emerson, my, I was at a new doctor and they're like, oh, you can take something. They're like, they were more than happy to get any prescription.

“They're like, why don't you start with taking you to something and be sick?”

Yeah. And that was enough for me. Like, obviously, I can't eat normal. I can't, like, I would still gag.

But I never threw up at Emerson.

I never threw up this time either because of that combo. I never felt like I needed to go to the prescription medication. But yeah, definitely it's so weird. When you're pregnant, you know, like, those things of people say, oh, I can't eat food for my own house. Or I can't eat, like, any vegetable, like, why is that so true?

Like, I've done this four times. And every time I'm like, I'm going to really eat healthy and try to do this. And obviously, things for me, I'm, it all ends after the first try, master. Really? Yeah.

And, but it's so weird. Like, I was like, one day I was like, I am making this up. I'm literally like, I'm making this up. Get broccoli. Literally.

That's only time I threw up. And it wasn't like throwing up. It was just gagging in my body, rejected it. Yeah. It was like, you're not eating that.

Don't, we don't need that. Oh, my goodness. You need that. Okay. I never eat McDonald's.

I want it in the first time, master.

“I think McDonald's is really kind of gross.”

Need it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it's very comparable to Emerson's.

But, um, likely because of the medication. Yeah. That makes sense. Can we make that a PSA? Um, pregnant women is that unison and B6 triate as soon as you find your pregnant.

Ask your doctor, but then try it. So I just, my friend just told me she was pregnant and just got through her first trimester. And no one ever told her about that. And she was really sick. Doesn't not make you question like, why don't they make it over the counter medication?

That's just whatever is that combo of ingredients that makes that work. Yeah. And they can just call it morning sickness medication. Well, maybe we should. And we could become.

Do it. Don't you worry. Do you think it bought out by a pharmaceutical company? It's crazy. Like why do we have to just like go ahead and start like mixing supplements and medications to try to combat that?

I don't know. They don't even know what causes that. Right. They only like hormones. And you're like, that's not actually an answer.

What do you really think about this? It's unison. This would be medication. So I only take half of them because it is enough to knock you out. Yeah.

I took a full, and then once I hit, once I stopped getting lying sickness, I leaned off and I did a half. Because I was so scared to get off of it and feel moving sickness again. Yeah. I remember that I took off of it. Gotcha.

I never had nausea. So that is wild. It's like, back to like 90% of pregnant women. Both babies with Vivian. I had one day where I was like, I am going to puke and ever did.

And it was like two days before it took my tests to find out that I was pregnant. Because I was like, I just didn't hit that early. I know that's why I was surprised too. But I did. I had one, because we were in the Dominican Republic for Kielb's work trip. And I brought one pregnancy test because I said, this is the week and then I'll get my period.

So I'll bring it just, we could test it on vacation.

“And it was the day before I took, I think it was the day before.”

I was so sick. And I was like, this is really weird. And sure enough, I was pregnant. But with CJ, I had nothing. Because normally I feel like the worst weeks are like weeks seven to 10.

Week 10 is like down bad. I mean, I'm on my back tired, but I don't get it. Yeah. I was just 6 through 10. I was nauseous.

Yes, 6 through 10. Oh, no. No, no, actually 6 through 12. I feel like mine peaks at 10, though. Well, after you were the most sick, I was really sick.

You were really sick. After the stomach, but I have immense sympathy for you all. Because I nauseous, I wasn't saying. And I just think about that. It's different.

I don't think it probably is, not just nauseous. I don't like that's got to be how it is every day pregnancy. I think the difference is, I'm also not afraid to throw up. So I would throw up every single day.

Yeah, just because I was like, it'll make me feel better.

Wait, you look at it on purpose? No, I just felt nauseous. And so I'd go and I throw that. Oh, I fought it for my life.

“I'm laying it, but I'm wasting so much worse.”

That's Blake. It's all teens. What happened to you? Is your mom scared of showing up? It's a real phobia.

Because you and your brother are both like that. It's in my bones. It's in Blake's bones too. Because he was telling you I don't want to throw up. I have a theory that when I throw up, it's violent experience.

Like, I pop blood vessels in my face. That's because you're trying to hold it in. Is that it? Yes. Do you just want me to laugh?

No, I'm going to grab everything off the ground. I'm going to breathe through it. No, I can't. I was coachingsteady. I was like, take a deep breath.

Relax and go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't do anything to avoid it. And so, um, yeah, no, that had a lot of nausea. Weird cravings.

Yeah, I guess my cravings, I don't know if I had weird cravings. If you're comfortable talking about your food categories,

how does that change during first time?

Oh, everything's out the window. Really? What do you mean your food categories? What is this? I'm a very routine person with food.

Like a house if it in a category of breakfast lunch dinner snack dessert. Okay. And there's, there has a fit in a category. Uh, out of the door first. Really?

No, we can do that. I mean, it's like, mentally. Oh, there's, yes, it's breath. Oh, for sure. It doesn't even actually cross my mind.

It's actually a hard time eating. Like anything. So it's like, I know that I'm already at a deficit for everything. Because I like, I'm like, she's casadilla. And like, enabling it.

I just cannot relate to that. My first trimester. I'm so hungry. Both times. That's why I'm not right now.

I gained some of the most weight in my pregnancy in the first trimester. Because I'm starving. That's where I'm at right now. Really? Like, I cannot get enough food in a day.

That's how I am. I can't get enough food in a day. That's how I am. Yeah. It's like really crazy.

Yeah. I'm like every hour and a half. Maybe it's like I had it. And you did like a full meal every hour and a half. I googled what your caloric needs are.

Oh, they lie. I'm like, this is mean. It's like an extra 200 calories today. It's like a 50. I'm like, okay, but I'm, go jump.

I please get out of here. I don't care. I don't care. That's also a blessing of a fourth pregnancy. I give zero rips about anything regarding my body.

Sure. I'm fact more than ever. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Such a blessing to grow. And to have the baby grow and like everything like this.

Every symptoms so welcome. Like even when I was like nauseous. I was like, yay. So excited. And I mean Matt even told me recently.

Like we're really in bed. He's like, gosh. He's like, I can't believe like we're at where we are because he's like, you have literally not. I can't believe that's a single thing.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, because I, you're not going to hear peat from me. They're not literally. I'm so grateful.

Yeah. Obviously the mental aspect of it has been like really tough. And so that I have complained about. He did not mention that. Which is obviously he wouldn't do that.

But yeah. So definitely eating a lot of food. Definitely getting puffier.

Does the fourth physically feel harder though than the first.

Or is it the same thing as the same? Okay. Let's great news. I think it's the same. Oh, yeah.

What was you needed to tell people you're there? I think it said this on unplanned.

“But I was like, I think the first pregnancy was such a dream.”

Like, this is so fun. Everything about it is so beautiful and mystical and new. And like a little confusing. But fun, you know? Yes.

You feel so beautiful. And then the second pregnancy was like, this hurts. I'm so proud. I feel fat. Like, you know, just like all the things.

Like, it was just way harder for me to stay focused and often. And then you, I was like, well, maybe the first one's easy. The second one's hard. Everything was like way more store the second time. So maybe the third one, you know, it's like an exercise set.

You can first set, you're like, okay, I've entered you. The second set, you're pretty tired. The third set, you kind of get a third wind. No? Is that like that?

No. It's not like that. You don't get a second wind with these pregnancy? No. I do see there.

Most important thing in a hard circle.

And actually, can I tell you my theory? Yeah. My theory is that you get one pregnancy. Uh-huh. The rest, you're just growing a baby.

I think I over second that. I don't care if you get one for sure. You get one pregnancy. Yeah. You can nap, you can like,

right. Give me my cravings. Like you can be like, you can be needy. Uh-huh. Second pregnancy.

No. Pipe down your child. You can't suck it up. You need to wake up. Yeah.

You take care of everything. Right. Yeah. And I'm prime with that. I think that we only need one.

Right. And then your husband can just maybe you. Right. Totally. That just goes for him.

And that that expectation doesn't change. Totally. And I also do think like even for a mat. Like it's so interesting.

“And I think this is a result of pregnancy after loss.”

But also just like being on the fourth one. Like it's like, I think he has like such a deep respect now. Yeah. Like I feel like he's literally worshiping the ground I walk on.

I'm like, this is incredible.

Let's keep doing that. And now he's like so excited to. He's like, how many kids do you want? He's like, really? He's like, we said we'd stop at fours.

“But what are we going to be done? He's like, I think I'd be really sad to think that we only have one more time”

of doing it. And I'm like, that's amazing. I love that. I was like, let's leave the door open. But I do think like at least in our experience.

Like for the husband, like for the dad. Like I feel like also I think the nature of like having more of a gap. We have a larger gap now than I ever anticipated having. Like I think that you just. Get enough time to reset and get your bearings getting your like weight.

That was super cool. This is what we have to look forward to. And this is the precious beginnings of all that totally. And I feel like we both feel that. But it's cool to also see like the husband experience that in like a different way.

Yeah. That does really true. Yeah. I could see that for sure. Because every time like you're saying, it does get harder.

And so then your husband's like, thank you for doing this. Like they're reward of having your child is the best gift of all time. Yeah. And so then it's like, thank you for literally going through. Yeah.

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I feel like they're also just like confused. So yeah. I feel like girls are a little bit more in tune with that. Like even my friends. Kids have daughters the same age.

They're way more like receptive asking more questions that are more in depth than like our kids. Although Griffin did ask us the other day. How did the baby get in there. I was like.

That's a daddy question. No, Matt answered it. Yeah.

I mean, you're going to be like, you know, I never want to lie.

Yeah. But I don't think you can ever start those talks too. No. And it was great. And you did awesome job.

And we like. But afterwards I was like. People are starting. I'm going to start yet. But I shouldn't know.

Like all the talk that we had about like having a baby and like we're in love like all the stuff. Anyway, I'm sure by the I feel like CJ really clicked for him in the third time. I served when I was like really had a big belly because you know, they can visually see the baby more. And I will all get things. Right.

The baby's in here. Of course. Because those talks. He's like, woo. What's in there.

That's a massive subject. I have my. My niece when I was pregnant with CJ. I was like, there's a baby in here. And in my belly.

So she goes, you a your baby. Your niece. Yeah. Oh, my cousin. Sorry.

Oh, my cousin. My cousin. Um, yeah. She goes, you ate the baby. I said, oh, oh.

You should ask your mommy about that. She's like, I'm about that. No. How did baby get in there? I feel like you baby.

I didn't say no. No.

“But you should ask your mommy how I got in there.”

You're like, I don't know. It logically makes sense. I didn't say it in my belly. I feel like an explanation is warranted. Because for girls, you're like, I don't want this.

This is randomly happening, right? So I'm like, I don't want to eat something. I want to fall pregnant randomly. Totally. This will be your fourth birth.

Yes. Does that feel daunting? No. No. No.

You feel like you're like, you've got it. We've got this on law. Well, especially the nature of how like we're going to meet this baby is no labor. Yeah.

You'll never experience this disease.

Like, okay, I am saying this as someone that had what could be considered. I don't have trauma associated. But what could be considered as a traumatic first birth?

Yeah.

Worthings didn't go great right to the point where they didn't really want me to even try to attempt that a second time to having a scheduled sea section, which really feels like you're checking into some type of hotel. That's a little weird. You just show up.

I had self-tanner on. I had my hair already fully rested. I slept all night. Amazing. When in that noon, holding my baby at one o'clock.

Yeah. More about was. Yeah.

And I was like, that was incredible.

And my recovery wasn't that bad. So I was saying, like, you got to understand the life experience I'm coming from when I'm saying this. Obviously, the nature of birth number three is not one that we're going to put in the same category. The life birth and was deeply traumatic in a number of other ways. But, um, between those two, I'm like, yeah, I'll take the second one.

Those lights were crazy. I just thought I blinked weird. I was like, am I losing consciousness? I've been getting a little black out. Oh, no.

“A little black out when I stand, which maybe I think my anger might could be like that.”

That could be the spinach and electric lights girl about it. No, I had to take iron and scarf and mushots. I remember that. Yeah, I felt much better. I had it in my favorite journal went to Abby's butt shot appointment.

That's what I felt. We like dropped you off. Yeah. I came back so chipper. That stuff works immediately.

Okay. Let me give it a little back. It was Griffin with my first pregnancy. I was just, you don't know what to expect. Right.

I was like, I'm pregnant. Like, I'm going to be tired. I'm going to be like so drained and exhausted and get headaches. Um, I was very, very tired. Right.

They checked my red blood cell counts. It was a very good one.

They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts. They checked my red blood cell counts.

They checked my red blood cell counts. That was almost enough to make me the fear of it all, but for sure. Here we are. And we just really have positive visions of a redemptive pregnancy experience. And it's happening.

Yes. It's happening. So we are so grateful. So grateful. Yes, it's been a lot.

It's been a lot. You've been a champion through it. Yes, we're proud of you. We're excited. And so so happy.

Oh, yeah. And we can't wait to celebrate this baby. Yes. Thank you to needed for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Being postpartum and coming out of pregnancy.

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“I remember just asking my doctor like, what do I actually mean?”

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That's T-H-I-S-I-S-N-E-D-E-D.com and use code Abby for 20% off your first order. Ask, ask, ask Abby! I was just wondering if I'm pregnant with my second child. My first in-D is in a C-section. My doctor is on board and with a V-back, I know that Abby has just had one recently.

I was wondering if maybe she had any tips that helped her get her V-back and what they would be. Thank you. That's a great question. Yeah, thanks for asking that. I feel like I have a lot of, I made a whole video on it because I'm like, there are so many things I did differently.

A YouTube video?

No, I did like a real on it. Okay.

“I think I did talk about any YouTube video too.”

Like by Postpartum Q&A.

I feel like the biggest things, like the reason that was TJ, I had a C-section was that he never descended down.

It was in a good position. So my whole goal with the Vivian was to try to help my body put her in the best position for labor. And so I just did all the things. Like in the second trim, I started walking daily and I tried to walk at least a mile every day. Just because it really helps every, I don't know.

I'm not going to get to the science of things, but I walked a lot. I did the spinning babies, I asked my doctor about it and they had a packet with all the spinning babies method exercises. And like some of their tips for having a successful vaginal birth. And so I did all of the exercises in there, at least in the third trimester started doing that. And then the third trimester, I did more of the holistic stuff where I did the dates and the tea every day.

I bounced on that ball a lot. It was really just like strengthening my body and trying to open my hips up more so that she could descend down better. So that was the stuff that I did kind of leading up. And then this is not medical advice by any means. So take this just like with what you will. I think every person is so different.

I definitely want to do an epidural. I want to have pain management. I did not want to be induced with my second just because with CJ, I felt like he just wasn't in a good position. And then induction just didn't help with that. So I really wanted to try to avoid that. This time around just to see if my body could naturally get her down.

Obviously, if I needed potatoes and other things, I would have taken it. But I just wanted to do what I could naturally to get my contractions going. I'm more consistent. So I tried to avoid any like induction medication when I was at the hospital and things were already moving. And then I just kind of waited a little longer to get my epidural.

So that even while I was having contractions and stuff, I could be up and moving. And she could be moving on down because I read a lot about how like when you're laying there.

The baby doesn't always move down as easy.

So I just knew that I was from my personal experience. I was my problem with that. CJ wasn't in the grip best position. And so I just tried to fix it doing those things. So I don't know what led to your c-section the first time. But maybe just entering some of those questions if.

Yeah, with different solutions. But advice. Thanks. I'm not a doctor. Hi Abby. My husband and I are trying to prepare our bodies to start a family. And I recently found out my progesterone is very low. And with that, it could make conceiving much harder and put me at high risk for in this carriage.

“So with all that being said, how are you guys able to overcome the fear of the unknown possibilities?”

Thank you guys so much. Love you. Bye. Oh, that's a hard one. I'm not. What was the question? Are you able to overcome it? Well, you know what? You just got to rip the band in. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way out the other side but through it.

Therapy helps a lot. I understand that's like expensive and difficult. And I feel like also just know like everyone says this. Like you'll probably have some good advice too. But like it's not a linear experience. I remember like when I got to like 17 weeks of this experience, which I mean granted.

A lot of people have taken a deep sigh of relief long before 17 weeks. But that was like an extremely tough week for me. And I like gone to therapy and I was like a total mess the whole time. Like for 60 minutes straight. And I was just, I remember telling my face.

I was like, I was so frustrated because I felt like I was past this. Like I felt like I had like made so much progress. Like we were like, I felt like this was all something that was behind me. And like even saying that as I was saying that I was like, you know what? I always say this stuff is not linear.

But then it just feels like it really should be, you know? And so just knowing that like they'll be good days and there will be bad days. And that neither one is not as like they're not all gonna be bad days. They're not all gonna be good days. And going into without understanding, you can just have a lot less fear attached to those bad days.

It doesn't feel like, oh my gosh, this is how it's going to be forever until we meet our baby. And so yeah, that was really, really, really not helpful advice. I think that was really good advice. Thanks. What do you think?

I think this isn't in regards to pregnancy necessarily. I just think in general when I feel really scared. I always try to think on the other side of it. I'm like, okay, if worst case scenario things happen.

Will I be okay in the end and the answer is always yes.

I think that we can get through. We're so much stronger than we believe in no. And I have to have to have to remind myself that I'm like, if the worst case scenario things happen, I have family, I have Caleb, I have this. There are things that we have in place that can help get us through it.

And obviously we don't want to go through hard things.

“And that's why we feel scared about it because it's like, that is so horrible.”

And I don't want to experience that. And I don't want to do that. But if it happens, I know that will be okay in the end. And things will look different.

We'll get through it.

I think it's just reminding yourself that. And that is where a lot of the faith aspect comes in. It's like, I have to have faith. That no matter what happens, I can get through this. And yeah, I don't know.

I haven't really experienced. I think a lot of scary things.

“But I think a lot of times it feels like with modern science and innovation,”

we can control family planning more than ever. But we still cannot control family planning. Right.

And that is just the bottom line.

I don't think this is something that will ever be guaranteed. And that's why it's such a miracle. Yeah. And so I think just going into this, you're already asking the right questions of like, how do I, like, because I think me,

plus way ignorant, even trying for our first. Like, I was like, we're part of it. And then that will be like it. And then we have our babies. It's like great.

That much later. And like, you're already asking our questions. And you already understand that this is outside of your control. And going into that, you're just already setting yourself up for like just a posture of surrender in a way that is just like it simply requires.

Like the fact is in some of us end up with all of our kids. And there's relatively no complications. Everyone will face complications and challenges and highs and lows. But relatively no. And the only difference between them and other people that have,

you know, lived the worst case scenario is simply just luck. Yeah. And that's really what it boils down to. And so just fully surrendering. And then just like lean on your spouse a lot in your community of friends.

And yeah. Yeah. It's just one of those things. It is totally. If you're a believer prey and journal and bring all this fear to God.

And I think a lot of times saying that loud and not like holding onto them is helpful too. Like voicing those things. Oh, totally. Yeah. Because sometimes I feel like when you're sitting on a fear and you're,

it's in your head and then you're ruining it. It's really easy to like get into a spiral. And it's you can get those out loud and speak through them. I think that's healthy. Yeah.

Hi, Abby. I've been following you both for quite some time now.

“And I remember that you both had unplanned emergency situations with their first sports.”

Um, that was also my experience with my son this past October. So my question is, did you deal with any feelings of failure, following your few sections? Or just wondering if you could have done anything differently to prevent them? Thank you.

I had a lot of those feelings after CJ. I think that was one of the hardest things to, I felt a lot of anger at my body because I felt like my body filled me. And it wasn't necessarily that. Like I was, I mean, the c-section in my head.

I was like, oh, I was like, mad that I had to do that because it just seemed so, um, hard after like going through labor for so many hours. Um, and so I just like, man, my body for the first time ever. It just didn't do what I was needing it to do. And I felt very betrayed by my body.

And that was like a very weird feeling. And I think there was a lot of like processing for that for sure. So you're not alone in those thoughts at all. I think over time, I was like, I think there was, there's just a level of acceptance that I had to reach.

I was like, it's just okay, that it happened. I think I used to look at my scar and like feel angry at times. Not because I had a scar on my body. I was just like mad at my body for not working right. And I can't even really explain that.

“But I think it's just especially more young and healthy and like everything's always gone my way.”

It just felt like I had this reminder of all the time.

Like I always had this reminder where I look in the mirror and like,

Oh, my body betrayed me. And I think it's okay to feel that preventative wise. I don't know. I feel like if there are things that I would do differently. I think I didn't, I don't think I actually needed the induction in the long run.

And CJ was just so high in my stomach. That like he was just not ready to come down at all. And so we really forced it. So I was just one of those cases though where I had an induction and didn't work. But a lot of people have that and it works great. So I don't know. It's not like it's just pregnancy and birth.

It's just not a one size fits all for everybody and everyone's experience is so different. And they had a lot of concerns about him being too big. And so we just did what we thought was best. And so no, I don't think. But now that we know that I don't have massive babies.

I'm okay not doing that in the future. You know, I feel like birth and labor is a holy trial and error. Yeah. I actually didn't have a emergency season action.

My first time he did come out.

But it was an emergency situation. And so I definitely did feel feelings of failure. When I was telling my I just needed a schedule a C-section. After he did come out vaginally my first. I was like, you mean I'm just going to show up and lay down and not even try.

Like for me in my spirit. Like, I'm like that just doesn't set right with me. And so I just needed to really evaluate like what was my own. Like this is kind of this is my unique situation. I'm not saying this is other people's situation.

But like what was my own ego and what was like actually what we needed to evaluate was like

Why is medical sound advice from multiple professionals.

And so once I like set that aside, but even still to stay. I'm like, I'm really just going to show up and lay down and get frozen and get it. Like it does bother me. No. And I'm like dang.

But it's just, it's this is a reality of it all. And it doesn't mean that like I'm weaker or I view myself as weaker or anything. But yeah, there's just so much complicated emotions with birth and so much like. It is all just so touching. Everyone had a lot of women have gone through it.

So a lot of people have big opinions on it. And it's also like a peak experience in our life. Totally. The limits of your and so there's just such heightened emotions around it. And so totally.

It's just hard to even talk about in a way that's like not going to step on people's toes. I know. Like I don't know. I've just had to learn to settle on that. Like aside, like this is my isolated experience for what it is.

And any outside opinions on that, it's like that's actually coming from your personal experience. Right. Which really doesn't play a role in my decision making. And so it's just like or shouldn't. So I agree.

We're going to talk about it with everyone. Yeah, this is what I experienced, but it's really hard to be like. Hey, do this. You should do this. I know.

“That's why even when I talk about like I was in Duce with CJ, I get nervous saying that.”

Because I never want to sway someone away from doing that.

If their doctors recommended it. I think I probably needed to be in Duce because you did. Yeah. I mean, he was big and you need to be like early. But just for frame, like it wasn't even like that huge.

I don't know. But it's just like that's why it's so hard when I say things like that. I'm like, well, I just know that didn't work for my body the first time. So I'll do something different. That's why I'm like, it's hard to sort through the advice.

So hard to sort through it. Just once again, family planning is just a big exercise in surrender. Like it really is. And you can't put too much on yourself. Like there's only so much of it that's within your control.

Right. And that's what's scary about it. But that's also why it's a great exercise in your own faith too. Because it's just like there's so much outside of your control. Yeah.

I remember feeling that way after my friend after I had CJ. And I had the C section. And I was like, well, I want to do things differently next time. And then I had a friend who did literally everything that you're supposed to do. Like everything right.

And then she went in the labor and her body just never progressed.

And she had a C section. I remember crying being like, okay, there's just there's no way to ensure a perfect scenario.

“And so I think there was a level of that.”

I was like, okay, just have to accept whatever you really have to go with an open control. You can control and then surrender the rest, which is unfortunately a lot of it. It's actually 98%. Let's be honest. Yeah, I felt like mine was different.

I did go into spontaneous labor. But about I think it was 36 weeks and Braille was still. She was, what's that? Transfer. Transfer.

So she was still sideways. So she hadn't turned head down. And they told me it was likely that I would have to have a C section. And I balled. Like when I left the doctor's appointment because I was so set that I wasn't going to have to do that.

And so I do think while I was really sad and I had to go through the emotions of like, okay, that's probably coming from pride of like I want to be able to do. What my body was surely designed to do and not have to have a C section. But then I was able to process all those emotions before hand. Rather than it being an emergency at the end,

didn't having to process it during the moment. And so I was like very thankful that I was able to like, I was able to talk to both of you about that too and be say how I was nervous and scared and going through those emotions of like my body was supposed to do this. Why is she not turning and doing that and then coming to peace with it and then coming into another

appointment. Then telling me she was head down. I was grateful that I was going to be able to try to do it spontaneously that way. But I went through that same experience when they were not the same. Completely different because it wasn't an emergency situation.

But having to process those emotions beforehand, I was very grateful for even though I was pretty upset about it. It was a pretty good range. We really appreciate it. We really appreciate it.

We appreciate it totally.

“I think like you say you think it's easier just going to link down for a season.”

I think like obviously the labor part, like the labor part is probably easier because you're just lying there, but the recovery is so different. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I think that's where you're just picking where your pain is. Well, you're saying you don't. This is a fact you don't labor. Right. So it's like that your labor experience is easier.

Yeah.

You really have to try to like a month before it's like he never moved down.

He was never planning on coming out of my dad and they're like, "Please, my daddy." I had so many stress tests because I was like, "Do you not fellows?" I'm like, "No, I actually did."

Yeah. I was an impain for him. Six weeks. They hurt. No, none of them hurt.

I was just like pressure. Yeah. And I was like, I think it's because he was not planning. That man was never planning on coming from my friends. He was like, "Call me out or else."

He was going crazy. He might not cry the minute, "She's actually maybe so cry." I'm like, "I'll give you some screaming." (laughter)

Check it out. No, they were literally like, "Oh, my goodness."

He's got lungs.

That's what they say. That's like, you actually did you know. And elementary education major.

“And I remember one day I show up to class and they're like,”

"Okay. So this is a misbehavior or a characteristic of like a disobedient student. And this is how you present it to the parents." And like one of them was like, you know, he won't sit in his seat.

He's very active learner. Like, or it's like he won't shut up and clap. They have a lot to share. Like, they're just, you have a good nice way to say. And I feel like that was like the nurse's nice way of saying,

like this dude might be cold. It's awesome. Awesome lungs. (laughter) This is another book.

They're the end two, which you can imagine. Oh, the lungs.

She lost her voice that first.

The first two days. We all painted two actually. Did you guys, they all cry right away? No. She did just over a minute.

Oh. I was listening. And I can realize it was like 45 seconds. I didn't even know. Yeah.

She did just was long. Like my video of birth is that of his delivery was long. And he didn't cry the whole video. I remember a kill when I had a moment where you were like, we were just kind of looking at each other.

And then when he started crying, we were crying. It was a long time. And I do think she's actually maybe he's taken a little bit. They did say that. And he was under distress just from like all of it.

But yeah. Yeah, but he's. It's like real. Delivery. Delivery.

Yeah, not labor. The labor was pretty quick too. But yeah, the delivery was really fast because of that.

“And then I think that's probably why she wasn't crying.”

Yeah.

That's all for real soon.

Oh, it's a great conversation. The book club. Ladies, I finished the book. Oh, yeah, I read 300 pages. I actually read it all one a two.

Yeah. It was actually read fast. I did skim and skip a lot. Yeah. Okay, disregard Abigail's review of this book.

No, no, no, no. I skipped one section. No, I can speak read. You read like you've picked out a couple sentences on the page. And then you kind of see like, oh, these are the important sections to read.

I skipped all of the like. Thought commentary didn't care about. What? Your review does not count. No, I got it right by the side.

No, I did it. I did my homework. You can't pick out what you want to read. I can't. I loved the section.

Obviously, the in the moment on the space shuttle. I read. I read all those. I read all those words. I love the storyline with the sister and her niece.

I read all that. Everything else. I kind of skimmed. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

So I couldn't really care about. I didn't really care about the other astronauts. I really like his author. I think that she does a good job. She likes between like telling a story and then also it's still like.

Like, it's not necessarily like a deep read. Like I would say it's like a lighter story. Yeah. This book might be my least favorite of the ones I've read of hers. Really?

I really wanted more of the spaceship. Yeah. I really wanted more of the spaceship. Yeah. I really wanted more of the spaceship.

Yeah. Like I feel like it was actually like 5% of the book. And I really wanted more spaceship experience. Yeah. I really wanted more of the human power.

I love like women's space.

And like, you know, being the first to like first woman from in NASA.

First, like I love that aspect of it. I love like a slight historical element to it. I like, I like the space talk guys. Ever since I read Project Hell Mary, I feel like I'm kind of an expert on space. So I was like, oh, I know about this stuff.

I like this space element. I thought it was cool. And so yeah, I just wanted more about the mission. I really did. Yeah.

I was a little confused on what the explosion was. Oh, you're right. Like with the door. Yeah. It was just she just said an explosion happened.

And it was just shrapnel. Yeah. So it was from the, they let the door open. They left the door open. So dude, a comment hit them.

Did a star hit them? What? No. There was something on the satellite. Uh-huh.

Whatever it was. And then it like messed up. Something malfunctioned. But you're right.

“I think that I was looking a little bit about that.”

I feel like that is something astronauts. We have to fill in for me. Yes. Yeah. I wish we got more of her mission of.

Yeah. That's true. That's true. But it's only about the mission. Victoria?

No. And the other one. When she threw up the whole time on the. Yeah. That's true.

We got none of that. We got little bit. I would have liked more there. I really liked the dynamic between her and Lydia. And like all the girls on Lydia.

Because I think they all played a different role within like the women empowerment and being a NASA, whereas. Oh, yeah. Like they hated her. Yeah.

Because she tried to be one of the guys. Yeah. And then what's the main character's name? I was just... Why can't I not remember her name?

Joan. Joan was like, why are you trying to be like one of them? There was a line there that's kind of stuck. Because me she's like, we don't need to be. Oh, she said men are hard and.

Bradel, but I find that being soft and flexible actually gives you more. Yes. Strength. Yeah. What was it?

Or your more resilient?

Or whatever she said. And I was like, that's just so true. Yes. More long lasting. What was the word that she used?

Pulled the quote. Oh, here we go. Because the world had decided that to be soft was to be weak, even though in Joan's experience,

being soft and flexible was always more durable than being hard and brittle.

Durable. That's true. Yeah. I thought that was a really good quote. And I just...

I liked... I liked their discussion there of like, we don't have to try to fit in and be one of the guys. Like, we have our own strengths as women. And like, two things... You know, it's like they can do their thing.

And we can do our thing. And like, they call me actually really well. I don't know.

“I think Lydia's character was really important too because I feel like a lot of women”

when, like, end up getting really competitive. It's easy to get really competitive. Yeah. With each other when it's like, oh, we actually are in the same... Mm.

We should be headed together towards a same goal. Totally. And... But like, I liked... I feel like...

Lydia did have a really good character arc at the end. Where she was like... Yeah.

She was doing what she thought she had to do to make achievements as a woman.

Yeah. And like, they weren't doing the same. Yeah. I actually genuinely really liked and cared about all the characters. Like, this book.

Which I think is actually a good... The reason why I rate books highly, as I was like, if I'm invested in the characters, then I'm just overall gonna like the book more. Yeah. What was the name of that way?

The name, what you didn't follow? Yeah, did that way? I wasn't really invested in the characters. Really? Really?

I liked... I liked the way that they spoke.

“I thought the character development for all of them was really good.”

I think we have that style of writing. I like a little more younger. To what? Younger? Younger?

I just like a little more cheesy and like... It just felt a little more grown-up to me. And I really liked it. I did err on the side of literary fiction, more on the side of romance. Yeah.

And so, which I liked those types of books. But I gave it four stars. I emotionally gave it five stars because I was at the ending. I was just so invested in what was gonna happen. But then after I was thinking about it more, I was like, it really was a four star.

I don't know that I would necessarily excitedly recommend it to people. But I enjoyed it. The experience reading it. Yeah. But I did lower our last book book to it too.

The more I thought about it and dissected it. I was like that book was actually Looney, too. What did I do in my life? Yes. We were in Rhode Island.

We were, she was still... I was still not dissecting it out and dissecting it out and dissecting it. I was like, it's actually a two. To the point where I need to actually make sure other people don't read it. I have my mom read it.

She didn't like it. She didn't like it. She didn't like it. She didn't like it. I'm reading your book book and I was so bad.

I think she said it was dumb. I think it was dumb. That was the point of it though. Dang it. You know, people really like her.

But I just think I might be done with that book. But I really do like Taylor Jenkins read this book. I feel like I wouldn't excitedly recommend it. But I was very like... It was a good read.

I felt... I felt like I will remember this book. I don't remember the journey in the romantic way. I had two quotes that stuck out to me when I was reading it that I noted. This one was...

This is Joan speaking.

She said, "I always had the top grading class and I would come home and brag about how

I helped this boy who sat next to me that was struggling with times tables or I helped the girl with this spelling. Then one day this boy joins our class and he's really good at math. Not as good as me but almost. And he asked me for help and I told him I'd think about it.

But I didn't want to. I was so scared that he'd take my top score for me. I told my mom that I wasn't going to help him. And my mom said that if I was going to be proud of myself for being generous, then I had to do it even when I might lose something.

She said, "You have to have something on the line for it to be called character." And I was like, "That was good." Really a good point to still help. Like if someone's going to beat you or be better than you at something, but you can still help them.

It's not bad to help someone up. Even if they're like on your same level. If there's something you can help with them with. Yeah, I like that though. There has to be something on the line for it to be character.

There has to be a potential loss to yourself. Otherwise it's just like you feel like you're adding another badge. Totally. That's good.

“That's remember that when she started saying that.”

And then I, one other one that I was just like, "I like the way she worded it was." And this is why. Small as they were Jones choices had added up to something magnificent in the changing of seasons in the past four years.

Jones had found it all. I just thought that was cool talking about how the changing of the seasons in a year. Like so much happens in a year. And if you just think you went through all four seasons.

And something different happened to you're now the person you are this year. I don't know. I just thought about that one. That is sweet. Yeah.

I like those quotes. I didn't deserve really good. As an author, I feel like all of her books kind of feel this way. Where they're emotional. And I like books that are emotional.

I think they just helped me remember them more. And then also there's like some meat to the story. And I think that a lot of the times it comes from like the context and like the time in history or like the specific setting is very memorable for me.

Because I think because I do read like a decent amount of books.

Some of them were like, that was just forgettable. And so I like that this one was like, it impacted me. Yeah. Actually to your point, I didn't know I'm thinking about what that quote you just said. That's a difficult quote.

No, yeah. I'm going back to that. You do see her change a lot. Like her character changes and develops a ton. Like everything about her.

But towards the end, where she becomes a mom. You know, it's like in her goal like her career's goals change. Like everything changes. And so that is interesting. Not hearing that quote.

I'm like, wow, it did run true. And how much she did change. Making me think to how all of the chapters are open. But they're all marked by seasons. It's just all of this year or spring of this year.

“Do you think back to the book being marked by that?”

I did think it was really sweet. Her like loving her. Me so much. Like I was thinking about I'm like. Realize me.

Realize. And love her so much.

That's never going to happen because I'm a great mom.

But. Yeah. Oh my god. I wasn't in Beatrice. Yeah.

It was the mom. That reading about her mom. I was like, what an easy. Not an easy. But I'm like, we kind of like, I'm that people like that.

You know what I mean? That just like make everything about that. And make everything about themselves. And like cannot see outside of their own point of view. And then seeing that as like a mother to a child relationship was really like.

So crazy. And I think she did a really good job of developing that story line. And even just like seeing how her sister Joan made excuses for her sister. And it's like always wanted to see the best in her sister. But then her sister just like continuously never showed.

And he redeeming quality. And then it got to the point where it's like, oh my gosh. You know, I don't know. That was just really hard to see that. And I was very invested in that storyline of the book.

I wasn't invested in that storyline actually. Yeah. Yeah, she did a good job writing that. I think it helped. It was like, I don't know.

I was a reader. I was like, wow, that's just how she made it very clear. I don't know. It was just good. You kind of saw it slowly with her.

Like huh. Where are you? I think it's like your kind of slightly in Joan's head. Like how you're perceiving these things. Like, okay, like she wasn't planning on having a baby then.

Like these things are happening to her. And then it gets to a point where you relite.

“That's why I think it was so artful the way that she did it.”

Like you got where you reached the same realization that Joan does as Joan realizes it. Right. You cannot excuse this away anymore. Right. Like she's a selfish person.

Right. And so yeah. I think it was really well done. Yeah. Honestly.

Yeah. And I think that I would read more by this author. Yeah. You need every day if you Joan's mistakes.

I'm like a third of the way through it.

I don't know why I can't get into it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just not into it. What do I read this book?

I read it for. Okay. Yeah. I read it for. I read it for.

I read it too. That's great. I was not picking it up. And that's kind of how I engage. Like am I picking it up?

Or am I scrolling? And I was scrolling. Maybe I'll give it a three because I really didn't read everything. That's I go. You can't give it a four.

I can't give it a four. I can't write this one because I didn't really I mean I read it. But I didn't read it. Hey, you seem to retain some things. I've written a lot.

I've told you I was invested in what I was invested in. Nearly. I've written it. I thought it was and to me like I skimmed it. And I felt like I got the whole book.

Okay. You know what I mean? And I think that is like she was a great writer. Because I felt like, you know, I still got it.

Next month's book club. I'm ready to move on to that one. Yeah. I'm really excited about this one. I have had this book pre-ordered since maybe a year.

I don't know. Whatever was available. But Hailey Fam is another creator.

She released her first book ever called Just Friends.

So cool. I've heard a lot about it just from I I partake in book talk on YouTube because I don't have TikTok. I watch full length videos of people reading books. Did they just read them out loud?

No, no, no. They're just saying they're reading them and they like talk about it. And then they like there's a lot of categories. But it's it's a whole niche. No, that's not that crazy because I feel like guys that was watching big people

like video games and talk about it. It's just like the girl version of that. It literally watched streams of other people. Yeah. So I don't think it's weird.

Okay. It is. It's niche for sure. It's like I find myself on like there's I'm a small audience. Yeah.

I'm a part of the small audience. I'm part of a dedicated community. But no more than I mean, I shouldn't say that. A lot of people are talking about her book. And I'm really excited to support another creator.

And also just like I'm excited about this book. I've been invested in her whole process of writing it. Yeah. Just document it a lot of it on YouTube. So just friends, my daily fan will be our April.

April. April. Yeah. I'm like, what's the month for you? Yeah.

So this should be a great. I think it's like takes place in like a sunny seaside fun. Like it's a very settings heavy book. Yeah. Which might that feels fun for April and it's inappropriate for spring.

Yes. Yeah. It's a cute way.

“Okay. So read that one if you want to join in for next month's book.”

Talk episode. Yeah.

Are we calling this?

Just book club. Always reading. Always reading. All right.

“I mean, that everything needs to be always.”

Like how we come in. It has to for the theme. Okay.

What's your recipe for this week?

Okay. For always hungry. Always hungry. My recipe is beef and broccoli. This is a real, you know, like that.

Not the best. Okay. This is good. I'm feeling you make it. You have.

It's okay. You didn't like it. No, I did. You did. Well, it's really easy.

And that's what I like. It just says like a week now. I don't know why I just started thinking of Chinese food. I actually don't know hate to the fellow Chinese listeners. Love Chinese people.

I don't love Chinese food. That's what I was saying. I don't like that. I don't like to take out beef and broccoli. Yeah.

I don't either. This doesn't taste like take out. It doesn't taste like. Yeah. I agree.

And it's. It's so simple. It's three. I mean, it's three main ingredients. Beef, broccoli, and rice.

And then you have your sauce.

“It makes up, which is mostly just soy sauce, sesame oil.”

It's so easy. And it's ground beef, huh? That's why I like it. Yeah. It's just so easy and fast.

And it's actually a 30 minute meal. Like some people say that. And it's not. This is actually a 30 minute meal. So I'll link it.

I make it once a week, at least in our house. At most. Not at all. What carb do you have with it, are you? I just do rice.

Oh, yeah. Perfect. Mine is not a dinner option. I'm actually just been really craving this.

That strawberry shortcake, I make this like always like in June for the past few years.

Really? With those homemade biscuits. Oh, can you please make that again? Do you remember it now? Yeah, I remember it.

Isn't necessarily like a beginner recipe, but it's, you'd be surprised. It's not too hard. You make. I would say this is like the Southern style. So good.

It's so good. It's so good. I would say it's like the Southern style of strawberry shortcake, where you make actual like homemade biscuits. And then bake them in a buttered cast iron.

And then you make the strawberry filling with real strawberries. And then make the whipped cream and make it like a little stacked layered sandwich. Have I made this for you? Yeah, you made it for you. Oh, it's worth it.

Okay.

“I like feel like this is the greatest way to welcome in spring summer.”

It's so delightful. And you will feel like a chef when you do it because it's, it is a little bit. It's a little extra. Yeah. But it's actually pretty easy.

And the recipe makes it very easy too. And it's so delightful. I need to make it on Sunday. Yes, please. Please for Saturday.

Let's do it. What Saturday? Arts and in families in town. Let's do it for Saturday. Yeah.

That would be fun. Didn't say something for me. And say something for Saturday. Well, I don't know. I'm sorry.

It's New Dealers. It really doesn't say well. Actually. I make more fruit. I'm sorry.

I'll make more on Sunday. Double it up. So yeah. I really love that recipe. And yeah.

I feel like wow. That was a lot for one episode. What really. That's so funny. Because I feel like there was like barely.

And now it's the end of like wow, that was we filled it up. We filled it up. We filled it up. You guys. In closing.

And close. Let me have my iPad for closing. We are really grateful to those of you that are members of this community. And we're just excited to continue to grow this. And foster community with you guys.

And really especially thankful to those of you that leave reviews. Yeah. We have a special place in our heart. And especially to this member that has numbers only for their user name. So I cannot say it.

But it's yeah. They gave us five stars. Yeah. It says my weekly girl time. I look forward to this show every week.

I listen in with my kids in the backseat. And my two year old loves hearing the kids and show for the world. That's crazy segment. That's cute. This show is fun.

Relatable. And I love the community that's being created with Ask Abbey's.

Always eating and the book club.

Oh. We're glad that you guys feel that way. Because that's. We want to. That's the goal.

It's fun for us. It's so fun for us. Yeah. And so that's the goal. We're glad you guys are enjoying it.

Please leave a review like comment, subscribe, share, heart. All the things download. Do all the things. Yeah. And also, if you would like to call in and leave a voicemail.

Actually, we are going to do a very heavy voicemail episode. So lock a sin. Give us a ton of voicemails. That number is. It is 602, 456, 96, 90.

And it's also winter Instagram bio. Yeah. If you can't find it. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok. Subscribe on YouTube.

So you never have to miss any of the updates. And stay tuned for upcoming live events in the local Phoenix area. Yes. Awesome.

And remember, we're always here. It's almost over the street. It's a hard spot. It's almost over the street. And then it's hot.

No, it's not. Like this street is my safe space. Mmm. Do you think everything is safe? Yeah, exactly.

Like this street is like this street. Which is easy to understand. Like in the studio, the job, or the house. The house. Of course.

I don't know how to stay. Stay in the lead. Save. With this street.

Transcript

The world's best world is in the world.

I think I've come to a conclusion of why I had that.

Oh, a thousand dollars.

Well, I would never get casted for it.

I feel like don't go to the theater.

Because we're hearing about it from our husband.

Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world.

Yeah, just because I was like, it'll make me feel better.

I'm like, this is incredible.

Yeah.

They checked my red blood cell counts.

A YouTube video?

We'll get through it.

Why is medical sound advice from multiple professionals.

He's got lungs.

Or your more resilient?

Because I think because I do read like a decent amount of books.

Are we calling this?

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