Armchair Anonymous: Bad Dates II

- Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair anonymous.

I'm Dax Shepherd.

I'm joined by Monica Padman.

“Today, we have tell us about a really bad bet.”

- Oh, no. - There's a lot of bad dates out there. - There are a lot more bad dates than good ones. - I don't know, I don't have the dad on that. - There are.

- I can only speak anecdotally. I've had mostly only good dates. I mean, definitely if I add up the bad experiences versus good, it's very, very positive. - No way, you can't even--

- It doesn't mean I did it with the partners. This is dates. - Well, they started as dates, no? - You can count those, but you can't count once you guys are together.

- Yeah, okay, just saying I've been out with people, for the most part, it's been fun. It doesn't mean I'd want to go the distance with them. But I haven't had a girl like, you know, saw on her teeth at the table, on her phone,

I mean, again, I web-dated in 20 years, but-- - Yeah, things have changed. - There's a lot of phone action. - Anyways, everything happens in this, please enjoy bad dates part two.

(upbeat music) - Hello. - Hi, is this Bailey? - It is. How are you?

- Good.

“And right behind you, there's some clues.”

You have some very elementary stuff happening. The question is, do you like, and this is apples, oranges, bananas? - I am a teacher. - Okay.

- I am a hiding in our speech pathology room right now, while my kids are in the room across the hall. - This feels highly dangerous, and I love it. - I'm so proud of you, but I'm also proud of myself because I almost said, are you a speech therapist?

- But she's not, she's borrowing-- - I know. - Oh, the room, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Before she said it, I'm a good guy.

- Very proud of you. - Thank you. - That's what I'm looking for. - Give her one of those stars that are on the wall. I see stars and happy faces.

- Yes, there's lots of stuff. - And where are you at? - Well, I'm in Grand Rapids. - Oh, I think goodness. - Hey, good job Monica, you instantly knew

that was Michigan. - Of course I know that. It's one of the big ones,

“and I'm actually from St. Joe, Michigan.”

I know that you and Bell like to come to through everyone's in a while. - Yeah, no, that's next to what? - St. Joe, it's by Silver Beach and Steven's Bells. - Yes, Steven'sville.

We rented a house in St. - Yes, Monica Benton Harbor's where we had that most and possibly good for the July. - I love that trick. - Right, they've got to appear on Silver Beach.

- I got a little from when you said St. Joe, 'cause I was thinking of the St. Joseph River, which is Southern Michigan. - Benton Harbor was my wedding, too. - Oh, why do I got married in Benton Harbor?

- Probably. - And they're still together.

- That's amazing, I love it.

- Okay, so you're Michiganite and you've stayed in your in Grand Rapids, you're in the big city. - Yes, I love Michigan. - We're closing in on when it's really good. - Yeah, since it's about 55 degrees right now,

I'm sunny, so we're all loving it. - Lovely. - Okay, so you have a bad date, or had a bad date, or maybe you've had many bad dates. - Are you on a bad date right now?

- Would you call this a bad date? - I don't know, my kids are over there. I have plenty of bad dates, but this one is definitely the top. It's my story for all of my parties

and all the things that I've found to. So it was in 2019, so I was a sophomore in college. I was going to the Community College in Benton Harbor, and I graduated from a really small school. There was only like 84 kids there

in my senior graduating class. So I did not wanna date anybody at my high school in my college, so in my dating apps, I expanded my location to South Bend area. - Wait, South Bend, Indiana?

- Yeah, it's about a 45 minute drive. So I figured, if it worked out, we could make it work. So I met this guy, we'll call him Evan. - Oh, I don't wanna use his real name.

- Well, first of all, you gave him a nice name.

I'm assuming you don't love this guy if it was a bad date. - But it could also go either way. - Yeah, so we met on Tinder. We faced timed and texted for a couple weeks before we met, and he seemed pretty normal.

He went to Notre Dame and was in aerospace engineering. - Can I ask a quick clarification question, Bailey, 'cause I'm not on the apps. My understanding of Tinder was that that one's geared more towards hookups.

- It was, that was not my intention. So I'm a Christian, and that's a very big part of my dating in my life and everything, but I just wanted to meet people because I have a very small circle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That was not my intention, but it seemed like that wasn't his either. And we were talking, it was great. We decided to meet at Cheddar's. I don't know if you know what a Cheddar is.

- No, but it sounds like a Chili's. - Yeah, so it's like Midwest fancy, you know,

An olive garden.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You go there for special occasions, type deal.

So I have a rule, I never let them pick me up for dates.

- Oh my God. - I share my location with all my friends and all of the things, I was like, there's no way. So we met there, and he comes in and he's wearing a full suit, tie and everything.

- Oh, wow. - I was very thrown on. - Were you in a ball gown? - No, I was in G, and like a nice top, probably. So I was like, okay, maybe he's just trying to impress me.

“Could be endearing if that was the only red flag, right?”

So we sat down and it was a little weird. He was just kind of awkward. It seemed like he was very nervous. And then he says, okay. I wanna talk about my physical boundaries with you.

- Oh my. - All right. So some background in the Christian dating scene, that's not super atypical, but it is for a first date. And he pulls out a list out of his pocket in his shirt.

- Oh. - And the list, it said no touching, no caressing, no fondling, no squeezing. - Oh my God, no stroking. - Oh my God.

- This list is somehow more perverse than just a note that said I love fucking. (laughing) - He's got their old things crazy stroking.

- I think he always came when he wrote this list.

(laughing) I'm sorry, I do need that little clarification. Do you think that meant anywhere on his person or that meant specifically as genitals? Like did he not want to hold hands at any point?

- I think it was probably not anything. And depending on where you're at in the Christian sphere, some people want to be a little bit more conservative about those types of things and other people, just so it doesn't lead to other things.

- Ah, hot gateway. - You know how it goes. - Oh yeah. - What do you start with? - It's slippery slope.

- Right.

“So I think he just wanted to cover all of his bases and say nothing.”

- And what was your response to the list? Like cool. - I sat there with my mouth open. I remember being like, okay. And he asked me, he's like, so what do you think?

What are your boundaries? I said, I guess covered them all. - I see. (laughing) - I think making helps to ask.

- You left out tickling. - It's part of the touching. Just no touching. - Well, no you could blow. You could blow with your mouth.

Yes, I've done some tickling with just air. - You could. - Air tickles. - There was a couple of holes. - What have you wrote air tickles?

No air tickles. (laughing) - Let me add it. (laughing)

- I never had anyone physically write them down

and read them to me like that. So that was off putting. - Yeah, it's almost like you wanted you to sign it. Like it was a contract. - Right.

- So we had the movies afterwards.

“At that point, I was feeling like, oh my gosh,”

like I do not wanna go. But I was 21. I was a people pleaser. He already bought the tickets. And I was like, it's two hours in the dark.

I know he's not gonna touch me. So it's fine. I was like, whatever. It's two hours where you're going to see a lad in the live action that cannot.

So I was like, it'll be an enjoyable film. - This is the most PG date I've ever heard of, by the way, you go to Cheddar's then do a lad and you get the list of things that don't know, yeah. - Not thing.

- I'm paper, sounds like a great date. So I was sitting there. He pulls out his phone right before it's like, turn his sound off. And there was a picture of me from Facebook, his phone.

- As his screen saver? - No, no, no. - Yeah. - We had Snapchat and stuff. So it wasn't one that I sent he had to go searching for it.

- And what kind of photo was it one of your most conservative or your least conservative photos? - One of my more conservative ones? - I just wanted to know if it's like swimwear photo or something. - No, it was one of my friends.

We did like a photo shoot in the thundlar field. - Okay, lovely. He pulls some. - Right, a high school fun thing. But I never sent him that picture.

It was kind of an old one. - Yeah. - This is the most uncomfortable I've ever been. - Like I cannot confront him about it. Do you know how old he is?

I think we were the same age. I think we were about 21. So he was an aerospace engineer major. So I was thinking that could contribute to it a little bit. - Yeah, we know what you're saying, yeah.

- And I work with kids a lot. So like I've got a little bit more of a bubbly personality. Some one like that might not. And that's okay. So I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

So we sat there and I did not move. I thought many times about bolting going to the bathroom and then just not coming back. But again, I just couldn't do it. And so I was frozen.

So as soon as the movie was over, I ran to my car. And I was telling him, okay, bye, I see you later. And he stopped me and he's like, wait. I have to tell you something. I love you in all of the Greek meanings of love.

In the Bible, there are many Greek words of love that God uses

To describe how he feels about us.

And he told me that he loved me in all of those ways. - Stop. - In the monopoly of Greek, can't we? - Right. - What?

- So it's like fatherly love, romantic, between husband and life type love and then friendship and then there's something else.

But first day, he was like, I love you.

Do you love me? Do you love me? And I said, it's too soon, I can't. You're so nice. I'd be like, no, so that was a long time ago.

So I think if it happened now, it would be totally different. There's no way that what happened. Ew! - This is so creepy.

He had your background. - In my opinion, he is either in one of two categories. He's either a psychopath, which I don't think he is.

“Or I think he has some kind of neurodivergent personality.”

When you want to love on this spectrum and they see one person, they're like, yes, I'm going to be husband and wife with them. The thing that they launch off into is a little untethered.

- As I've gotten a little bit older and I'm able to look back on it,

I think that's probably more or where it was.

But I did believe out at the very end after he loved me, he pointed to the forest. There was a forest behind me, like with a trail. He said, do you want to go on a walk? - No.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Absolutely not. And I said, my mom's calling me. - No. - And I got my car and I drove off and I cried.

- Oh, yeah, that's scary. - It's kind of a stressful do-ah. - Here it feels really uncomfortable. - Yeah, the screens ever makes it feel unsafe. - If it was just the other things

of him being just a little weird, we've all met some weird people before, so it's like, but now that I've worked around a lot of neurodivergent students and things,

“I'm like, oh, that I think is where it that.”

So I've gotten to have a little bit more compassion for him now. He is married. - Oh, thank God, great. - I hope that he's found his perfect match.

It just was not me. And then hope he's matured. - Was he able to drop the whole thing or did he keep reaching out? - He was able to drop it.

As soon as I got home, I sent him this long thing about how it was really nice getting to know him, I just don't think it's gonna work. I don't see anything. And then he said, okay, it was great.

I hope God blesses you in your life and then that was it. - So the first part, it's hard to relate to. And then the second part's hard to relate to because again in my mind, it's like, well, it takes me a lot to fall in love with somebody.

And then conversely, if I'm in love with somebody, I also can't be over it in five seconds. So it's like both sides of it are different, I think. - Yep, that this also opens up an interesting question about love.

I hear them like, well, obviously he's not. He spent eight, eight minutes with you. But like, what if he was? - What is love? - He wasn't.

- Over those first couple weeks of texting. Maybe that was just it for him and seeing me in person. I don't know.

- I'd also argue if you have never had the attention

of a girl ever, the first time you feel that attention, I don't know how you would explain it. The excitement levels so high, it would be easy to think, oh, this is love. Like this feels so good.

I've been waiting for this and here it is and I love it. And now I want to be her father, her husband, her caretaker. - All of the things. And now I'm married to the most wonderful golden retriever

house I've ever asked for, so that's great. - And did you meet him on an app? - We did actually, we met on hinge, so a different one. Can I give a shout out to some of my co-workers? - Yes, please.

- I would love to give a shout out to all of my parapro's and all of the support staff and secretaries and all of my other teacher partners that I have here just seeing the dedication that they do every day and really work and love on some kids.

When I told them that I was coming, they were all very excited and moved around their schedules to be able to come cover my room for them. - Oh, that's so sweet. What a nice shout out.

It's you and nurses tied for the best people on the planet, really. - That's right. - Thank you. And I love your podcast. I've listened to it for many years.

And even though I'm a Christian and I disagree with you and some things, I love that you have such an open dialogue about it and are able to listen to different people's perspectives.

“And I think that that's a really amazing trait to have.”

So I don't feel alienated and even though we don't share the same beliefs, like I feel like I can still connect and learn a lot from your podcasts. - I appreciate that Bailey because your experience on planet Earth

is just as valid as mine. I'm just having one, you're having one. I'm curious about yours, it's not mine. I'm delighted to hear that. Thank you.

- Thank you so much. - All right, have a great rest of your day. - You too. - Okay, bye. - You know, lucky you'd be to have her as your teacher.

- Yeah, I'll be back.

- I'll be back soon.

“- I'll be back to speech, what were you mentioning?”

- Yeah, I did have to go to speech. - 'Cause you had a list, but you didn't. - Yeah, it was all list, but mom didn't believe it. But I did. - Did you believe it?

- I think I was like, whatever, they say I have to go do this. - It's next and then I'll go. Was there cookie? - Not there cookies? I'll steal them.

- Do you have been devious in your pursuit of cookies? - Yep. - As we've decided, what if you had learned that the speech pathology department gave cookies until you started doing meth?

And then you knew you got a cookie every time

and you said a third word, right?

And then you're all with them magically. You did this and then you're all thinking for the cookie. - But it sounds like I don't understand. - She doesn't have-- - Well, I'm with her, she doesn't.

Well, you don't have cookies. - I'm not going to put it past me. I'll do a lot for cookies. - I'm in the Sarah. I heard that you teach a class on sweet pathology.

- And what flavor do you have? - You're going to talk with them. I can barely say it. Over you'll see from you how to-- - You have nothing to do with them?

- No, I'm not into that one. - No, but you would say it because it really exacerbates us, yeah. We're allowed to do this 'cause you had it. - I had it.

- It's my deafness. - I bet I did have it 'cause I have like a weird mouth. I had to get praises very young. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)

- Hello! - Hi Grace. - This is so weird.

- Are you wearing cute overalls?

- Yeah. I know you're a fan. I'm a big fan of overalls. - Yeah, they're very utilitarian, right? - They're functional.

“- What kind of things do you keep in the top pocket?”

- Like a phone, pair of hands. - Nightglass, you know. - Where are you Grace? - I am in Seattle, Washington. - Oh, sure, I don't sure.

- How's the rain? Is it rainy today? - It is not, it's nice out. I just moved here the month ago. So I'm fresh on the whole weather thing

and I've been getting used to it. - I'm gonna try to guess where you're from. - Mm. - I don't know why I'm gonna try to do that because it's a big country.

- It's a big country. - But you move there from, okay, you move to Seattle. - I don't think you're here from Chicago. - Yes. How did you know that?

- That is warm. - Thank you. - Thank you. - And it hit me like lightning. - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, okay, you're from a town that has a scene. - Overalls. - You don't have an accent, you know from the south. All of a sudden, I saw Chicago and I looked at your face and I was like, that's it.

- A western suburb of Chicago. So I still say Chicago. - Fair. - Yeah, that's thick. - Yeah, but I actually moved here

from North Carolina. - I was North Carolina. - Great, weather a lot nicer. - That was so fun. - Wow, that was, that was really fun.

- Yeah, that was really fun. - You know, well, there's so many cities who came from, you know? - I'm impressed. - Oh, God, feels great.

Okay, so Bailey, you had a bad date. - Yes, and this happens in Austin. I've lived in a lot of places. - Austin was one I was debating, by the way. - Yeah, so it was 2018.

I'd also just moved there for work. Really didn't know anybody was like, okay, what's best way to meet people on a city dating apps. So was there for maybe three weeks at this point?

And it was the first person that I'd matched with.

“Just like started as meeting at a bar, how do few drinks?”

- Can I ask what Abby you're using? - I think it was bumble. So yeah, we were just at a bar, how do few drinks? He was cute. He was like a little awkward, you know, it's the first day.

Give him the benefit out. I mean, I was explaining that I was new to the area. Did he have any recommendations for things to do places to see. And he was from Austin. And he said, oh, there's a really cool lookout spot

of the city to see the city skyline. It's really close. Do you want to go check it out? I'm a cautious person. It sounds bad.

- It sounds bad. - I was like maybe I shouldn't go to the second location on the first day. But I was like trying to be more spontaneous, you know, the city. - And Austin's got a vibe. - It does.

And he was giving off a good vibe. And so he said, we're really close. I had my car and drive us there. So we got in the car and it's like 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes. - Oh.

- I don't know where anything is in this city. Like what would make sense. So we pull off into like a residential neighborhood. And he's like, okay, we need to walk on a bit of a trailhead to get to this. Look out spot.

He then gets like a giant backpack out of his trunk. - What? - We like walk into this trail. And it's a big clearing. - Can I ask what time of day in?

- Yes. Good question. It's nine p.m. - Oh my god. - Do you have your attention share with any friends?

- No. - I don't really know anybody there. And are you seeing like episodes of day line in 48 hours in your head as you're on this trail? - Yeah. But we get there and it's really cool.

It's a big clearing. There's these five stone columns. You can see a really pretty view of the skyline.

He then opens the backpack.

And in the backpack there's like a giant bottle of champagne and a professional camera.

“So I'm like, was he planning this the whole time?”

Like lots of questions. So he's taking pictures. He's shoving the champagne. - What? - Hold up.

Hold up. Are the pictures of you or the skyline? - No. The skyline. - Okay.

But he was really getting after that. - But he was like, hold this lens. Have you become his assistant? - Yeah. Well, with a whole energy, I couldn't read if he was trying to be cute and 40 if it was actually

kind of dangerous. And then it turns when he's jumping up onto these stone columns, jumping up and down, asking me to join. I'm saying that I not really into that and he's like, you're so lame. He's so boring.

And he started my hate. Like, making yelling at me. So I then come to later realize that where we were was in Zilker Park. Oh, okay.

I got a bit of a hidden part and there's lots of trails and paths and he said, let's keep

going into the trail like a night hike is so fun. That's like peak Austin, let's go on a night hike and that is where I draw the line. I said, you know, no, I'm not doing that. Can we please leave? So as we're talking kind of arguing, he grabs my phone out of my hand.

And he says the flashlight on my phone is broken. I need to take yours to go on my hike. What? What? Then he's gone with my phone.

Oh, my gosh. So I'm very afraid. I'm like, do I go back and try to knock on some doors in this neighborhood? What do I do? I have no phone.

I have no way to get out here. Oh, and then this whole thing to me is bizarre. Things just keep happening. These boys come out and they're like teenage boys smoking pot super high. So I'm asking them for help and asking like, can I use your phone to get an Uber?

They're out of it. They're like making fun of me. They're not helpful. This is horrible. It's like a manhouse.

No. They did not help me.

It was a little bit of time.

I was just kind of like in a freeze mode. So he comes back and he's like, okay, let's go to the bars. So also he did go on a night hike by himself. Like, what is going on? I'm not sure if he's on some other sort of substance.

And then I was like, no, I'd really like to go home.

“That's what, again, I make second mistake of the night and tell him where I live because”

I, again, wasn't problem-solving enough. I just wanted to get home. Yeah. Yeah. For a little bit of an online.

You're like in kind of a survival. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was trying to figure out how to get home and get out of the situation. So we get back to my apartment and I was like, how to go time.

We'll hang out later, try to appease the situation. He's like, no, I'm a gentleman and I walk all my dates to the door. Oh, I hate this guy so much. I can't stand it. I was like, no, I'm fine.

I don't need to be walked to the door. I was like, no, I insist. So he's then walks to my door and he was like, give me a kiss. Good night. Oh.

See on my way. Oh. So I did. Oh. And then I go to open my door and he follows me.

No. Oh. He forces his way in behind me. And I was freaking out. I wasn't doing her.

And I was like, can you leave? I'm tired. Please. I want to go to bed. We'll hang out next weekend.

And he just said that he was drunk and needed to sleep it off on the couch. So he went and did that. He passed down. I can look. And I go and I lock myself in my bedroom.

And I'm so embarrassed that I let it get to this point that I didn't want to call anyone. Yes. Yes. Yes.

This is like when people don't report getting scan. Yes. There's like shame, even though there should absolutely not be. Yeah. And I didn't really know a lot of people are have close friends.

I was like, do I call the police? I ended up just staying up all night in my room alert. And he eventually left. Like I heard the door closed. And I just like got up and locked the door.

Oh my god. Oh my god. And the craziest thing to me, the whole situation is the next day. He text me. Like I had an awesome time looking out again.

That was a dream date for him. Take up girl up to the top of a mountain and leave her for a while. Take her fall. And then force her to let you pass out in our couch and leave in the middle of the night. And kiss.

Yeah. That sounds like a great date. Don't understand how we didn't see that like any of those things could have made me feel uncomfortable. And then would want to go on another date with me.

But I'm glad that it didn't end a different way. How did you respond to him? Did you? I didn't. I blocked him.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh, I don't think so. You should be able to.

“You should be able to be like, hey, for what it's worth.”

This was my date with Michael. Maybe you could reach out to the dating app itself and say like, hey, this person really is kind of predatory all just flagging for the site. You know, you can't have that system because so many people are scorned that they weren't liked back.

Everyone would be bagging on each other who didn't get picked. Even if it was just like open comments.

Exactly.

It was a wrap.

And you have had many more not a fan of the apps.

Yeah.

“Were you done with apps at that point or did you give them another go?”

Oh, I kept going at that. Good. Good. Yeah. You got it.

I guess my better judgment. Have you had some good dates? No, on the apps. Oh, yeah. A few.

Wow. Well, I'm sorry that happened. That's really cheap. I'm glad you made it out of zilka park alive. Need to.

All right. If all these places you live, what's your favorite? Honestly, Austin's probably up there. I lived in New York for Beth. I liked upstate New York, but Austin was just so fun.

I'm a huge live music fan. So I went to shows constantly. Fine. Can I give a quick shout out? Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Just to my sister Lara, she's an arm territory.

She was listening to the Marcus Mumford episode when I told her that she's going to be different on this. Good one. And a random question. I listened to all of the arm turn on a mess.

And there's like a little outro song that you sing at the end. And I can't figure out what you're saying. Oh. This has been asked before. Yes, it has.

It has. The line your most confused by is I say, on the fly I rhyme dish.

“I think that's the one that people are what the fuck did he say?”

Yeah. I think rhyme dish. People are confused. On the fly I rhyme. Yeah.

Because it's not the most well-known word, although it exists in the Webster Dictionary. Rime dish. Rime dish. It doesn't.

It doesn't. It's just that it was almost a rhyme and it wasn't a rhyme. So I made it. Ish. Yeah.

Rime dish.

But I helped me every time I like make something else.

On the fly I rhyme dish. I'm actually glad you asked that question out loud because I've answered it in the comments a bunch, but I presume only one in 100 people that are confused are going to take the time to write a comment. You have a written comment, right?

You're just like a fuck it. If I bump into a molouse, I even looked to see if it would come up on the word. Oh, right. If I look at God in that day, it says playing music. I'm flattered.

They've even labeled it music. Last half full. All right. Well, it's lovely meeting you, Grace. So nice meeting you.

Thanks so much. All right. Good luck and see you adult. I'm beating myself up right now because I knew I need to clean access in a few different locations.

Hi, Tabitha. Can you hear us? I can hear you. Okay, you're just in time. So I ran out of clean access in a bunch of different areas of my life.

And I ordered like an 18 pack and I walked around everywhere and I put extras upstairs and in the gym under my nightstand and I forgot the studio main area and probably the place I think about it most that I need to clean it. Anything you want to complain about that has no impact on the world. Oh, the horrors are really not the world is enough.

Yeah. Tabitha, where are you other than your closet? I'm in Louisville, Kentucky. Oh, I don't know if you've heard me say this, but I have a new fascination with Kentucky and Louisville.

It's the best. I'm from Southern California and I think Louisville is better. Yeah. That is a hot take. And did a lover bring you there or did you get interested in Louisville's some other

way? Work, brought me to Louisville. And it's so green, right? That's what I like about it. It's our green.

There's so many independent restaurants, more per capita than any other city. The cool place. I believe that. It's cool. I think it's the next Nashville.

Come on. Bye. Bye. Bye. Where in Southern California were you?

Look, you're not. Go up there. Were you on Laguna Beach? Were you on the hills? No.

I'm sorry. And that is a real source spot. I understand. It must have been so exciting though to have that show and be from there. So exciting.

But also I wasn't from the cool high school. It sounds like Veronica Mars a little bit. Did you watch Veronica Mars? Absolutely. And it definitely gave vibes.

What was it? High school. Yeah, Neptune High. Yeah. A lot of health.

Great show. It's on Netflix currently. If anyone wants to check it out, if they missed it. That's right. My girls are binging it, but they've diverted in what episode they're on.

So no matter what room I'm in, some episode is playing. It's real life. Or an episode. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So you had a bad day story. So this bad day took place back in the time of man versus food kind of taking over the world. I had like a sandwich challenge or a spicy challenge and every restaurant. Okay.

Okay. All right. I was dating this guy for a couple months and he says to me, I know we were going to go out. But my family wants to do a spicy wing challenge that they saw on the TV show man versus food.

Should we just kind of like put it all together and you meet the parents and we go on this day. And I'm cool chill ladies. So I'm like, let's go. That's our fun actually. So break the ice.

So we got there and my date. His name is Andrew. His dad and his brother like, we're going to do the spicy wing challenge. And it's so spicy.

“You have to wear gloves because it will burn your hands.”

Oh. And it's like five wings.

If you can finish off five you win a t-shirt.

Okay. It's hot ones. Yeah.

“If you throw up at the table, hundreds of bucks.”

Like all these rules, they have to sign a waiver.

[music] We sit down. I'm like, are you going to do it? He's like, no, no, no. I would never.

So his dad and his brother get into it. And it becomes immediately apparent that they are not okay. They're just like burning the ice water the nose. And they both run out of the restaurant. And my head, they did this at their house.

And they printed up their own t-shirt. And they had to pay a hundred out. Wow. It's like fun in doing a big thing. Yeah.

Okay. Top. This is a turn key experience. We are out in public in like downtown Richmond, Virginia, and a restaurant. So they run out of the restaurant and they're throwing up in the alley behind the restaurant.

Okay. Because it's so spicy. I can't wait to have it.

Can I just say, if you're a tenant in this complex, you've opened up a business.

And you put your whole life into it. Invested every last penny. And then every five to ten minutes people will come out and throw up next to it. I mean, what is one to do? I hope, please.

They can't serve those wings at home. I know. This is a recurrent thing because she told us when we sat down. By the way, if you're going to throw up, like, go to that spot. So there's like a bonus.

It's fun. Fun with the room. Okay. I'm sorry. So the dad, the brother, they run out, they're booting in the alley.

Yes. Okay. So my date is like, I'm going to go help. He grabs a bunch of napkins. He heads out there.

He goes across the street and buys a gallon of milk. He's like cleaning their faces. Why they're puking, getting the hot sauce off of them, getting them some milk.

And he comes in and he's like, guys, we got to go.

Dinner's over. We're done. So we walk out. As we're leaving, he goes actually. I'm going to run in and use the bathroom real quick.

So he goes in. And we're all just standing out there waiting. And he walks out of the bathroom. I'm standing there. And I see his face.

And it goes white. And then there's this look of terror on his face. And he goes, "There's hot sauce on my dick." Oh. Starts panicking.

Just full-scale panic. And he runs into the alley. And he's like, "Tab with a grab the milk." Oh. Is that how it works?

I don't think so. I'm like fall with him into the alley. And he's like, it's burning. It's burning. And I guess when he went to the bathroom, he hadn't washed hands.

Pretty. Yep. So the hot sauce is all over burning. And he's got his penis out. And I'm trying to slash the milk in the alley.

But we're also wearing an alley in like a city. The tenants next door who just watched the father's son booting. They were already complaining. And then they glance out the window again. And now guys getting milk splashed all over his dick and balls.

And you be like, "I'm going to sue you." And his mom and daughter's so nice, but they're like, "Don't sleep in the same room until you're married. Nice, not wain or out in an alley." Oh, nice. Right.

So this is a mortifying situation for all parties. That's some point that brothers like, "Where did Andrew go?"

“And I hear his mother like, "I think she's in the alley putting milk on his wainer."”

Yeah. And I'm like, "Oh my god, just kill me now." And so we're like, "Are you okay?" And he's like, "I'm fine. I just want to leave.

I'm done with this day." Get in the car. And as we're driving, we're very lucky. We had ridden with his mom and dad. So his mom and dad are in the front seat.

We're in the back. And he goes, "Dad?" "Dad?" "Pull over." You got to pull over.

I'm going to shit my pants. Oh, oh, oh, oh. So much is going on. The spice must have like traveled through his your read through. I think more of like an external tank to butt hole situation.

Oh, oh. So I started to like to activate. He really got handsy when he went pee. He's like rubbed his piranha. He's allergic to dairy and the milk splash got up his butt.

He's like, "Is it a milk thing?" Because he had whipped it out in the alley and that got more sauce.

“Guys, I think it's unrelated, but continue.”

I don't know if it's just like the extreme pain had caused a contraction. I don't even know. So his dad like goes into a McDonald's parking lot, pulls over. He jumps out of the car and he turns around to his mom and he says, "Mom, I need you to go into McDonald's and get me a milkshake."

And she's like, "What flavor?" And he's like, "Mom, I'm gonna put my wiener in it." Wait. Oh, then what happens is that diarrhea. We pull into the McDonald's so we can run into the bathroom.

Okay, so he's peeling off to go to the toilet. That makes more sense. I thought he's just like gotten the parking was it hanging out. Mom, go get me milkshake. He's crazy.

She's like, "What flavor?" Like, she's so confused and he's like, "No, it's for my wiener." She gets out of the car and leaves. And I am sitting in the car with his dad who was just vomiting in the street.

Not 20 minutes prior.

The longest 10 minutes of my entire life as I'm sitting quietly waiting for them to come back.

“Finally, she comes back and then he comes back and she turns around and she's like,”

"I got you a large hands in the milkshake." And that is how we drove home from the state. I went out on the front, I straight forward, no one making a sound. Me and this guy in the back seat and him with his whole wiener inside a milkshake. Oh, my.

That is so perverse. Like, I'm going to put my dick in a milkshake. Yeah, it's very the word odd for me. Yeah, it's like Adam's family odd.

I just don't know if it had been my first thought.

But I also don't have happiness. It seems like he just liked what the milk felt like. And he's like, "I want more of that." He came and said, "I don't want more of that." He came and said, "I don't want more of that."

He came and said, "I don't want more of that." He came and said, "I don't want more of that." He came and said, "I don't want more of that." He came and said, "I don't want more of that." He came and said, "I don't want more of that."