Armchair Anonymous: Spring Break

I'm Dan Shepherd and I'm joined by Lily Padman. - Hi.

“- Today is Crazy Spring Break Disaster Stories.”

- Oh, great. - What a right place for a disaster. There's so much alcohol consumption. - Yeah. - You're on the road, you're out of your known environment.

- The freedom for maybe the first time.

- You have very high expectations? - That's right, that's right. - It's a lethal combo. - Yeah. - Things go wrong.

- Please enjoy Crazy Spring Break Disaster's. (upbeat music) - Hello. - Hello. - Hi, is this Mary?

- This is Mary. - What are these fun posters behind you? - Are you sure? Signed our poster. We love to go to comedy shows, me and my boyfriend.

And then out of the park, I'm from Cleveland. So it's a Cleveland Indians little kid, Hitchin' Wall. And we just got back from Vegas in December. So there's our cash out voucher. There's like nothing on it.

(laughing)

“And then that's from a brewery in Montana.”

That says Maverick Mary and I answer to that. - Oh, I know. - Because it was my name. - These are all very personal. - These ones aren't.

That's Joder, just a favorite movie. I know you currently in Cleveland or where you are now. - I am in Cleveland, born and raised. - Great. And you have a spring break story.

- A disaster of a story. - Yay, the worst the better. - It was 2017, my senior year of college. It was my birthday beacon actually. I was turning 22 and a bunch of girls and guys

from my sorority and fraternity that we were close with decided to go to Fort Waterdale. So our first big trip, my parents weren't really thrilled, but we did it. So the first two days went really, really well.

You know, just drinking pool beach, typical spring break. But that third day, I was really hung over. So I decided I was like, oh, I don't think I'm gonna drink today.

It always starts off that way.

But I actually did say sober, so we're at the beach. And one thing about me is I cannot pee in the ocean. Like I'm just super pee shy. - Can you articulate your fear? Is that that something's gonna go back up

your ear re-thera after you open it? Or it'll attract an animal? - I don't think something's gonna go up there. I think it's just the pressure of, I have to really focus and there are people around.

- You're not stable enough, too much motion. - Yeah, too much motion, I need to be just right. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna head back to the hotel to go pee by myself. The sand is extremely hot, so I just grab any shoes I could find.

And they were like my friend size 12 crox. I go back to the hotel, I go pee, call my mom check in, like, hey, everything's going great. And then I was heading back down to go back to the beach and the road that I had a cross to get back to the beach

was A1A. So I don't know if you guys are familiar, but one of those main drags. So it was four lanes of traffic, two coming each way. - Oh boy.

- So there was multiple people standing with me in the crosswalk. And I looked to the left because that was the direction that the cars were coming. And the vehicle in the lane closest to me had stopped.

So I thought I had the all clear. And then I started to walk and then all of a sudden everything went black. - Oh, yes. So I'm not sure how many minutes passed by, but when my eyes opened, I was lying on the asphalt

in the middle of the street. And people are yelling that I couldn't move my neck and then do not get up. The asphalt was burning me. It was so hot.

It was my new everyday. - Oh, oh. - That's someone from the hotel actually ran to get a towel to put underneath me. And mind you, all I was wearing was a little black, one piece bathing suit with these men's size 12 crox,

laying in the middle of A1A. - Yeah, the thing I'm most worried about is the asphalt burning in the end. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I went from getting flattened with like a pancake to now, sizzling like a sunny side up egg.

- I turned out that I was hit by a mini van that was in the further way that did not stop for pedestrians in the crosswalk. And the van ended up being an Uber that was actually driving around other spring breakers.

- Oh, okay. - Oh wow, a lot of witness. - So this caused so much commotion. You know, there's 30 of my closest friends on the beach that everyone's obviously being nosy

like what the heck's going on. They knew I went to go pee, but didn't think they're gonna see me laying in the middle of the road. So my college roommate Hannah ended up seeing that with me

and she came sprinting over. Again, I'm the only sober one. So that sobered her up really, really quick. As I'm getting on the stretcher, going into the ambulance, she's like yelling at the paramedics.

Please let me in, they're like, man, you're in a bikini. You cannot come in here like that. So she literally grabbed anyone's clothes. I don't even know what she was wearing.

“I think she was wearing a Hawaiian shirt”

and some random shoes, none of it belonged to her. Since when do hospitals not allow you to come in unless you're like dressed properly? That happened to me in that roll over accident.

They don't want the liability of a second person on board.

Like they just don't want to take any passengers.

not insured to carry passengers.

You know, I mean, I think they should. I'm just saying what I know to be the case. So I think that they realized how scared and stressed I was. So once she had clothes, they allowed her in. And I didn't even have my phone with me.

Everyone's phones kept getting stolen on that spring break. So I left my phone in the room. So I just in the road with no phone, no nothing. So obviously she comes to the rescue. And she comes in the ambulance with me.

And the paramedics couldn't disclose what had happened to me.

“They just kept saying, like, you need to stay calm.”

Like, we're taking you to Broward County trauma center. So at this point, I was like, questioning, did I get hit by a car or did I somehow randomly faint into the middle of traffic? Like, I was really confused.

In your insured shock, you're not feeling any pain. And no pain. I was just really scared. And like, then immediately stabilize your neck. So I'm just laying in the stretcher.

Like, am I gonna be able to walk again with this horrifying? So I get to the hospital. I ended up having a concussion, a cracked head, bruises on all parts of my body, and 12 staples in the back of my head. Oh, so you were bleeding in the back?

It's kind of gross photo, but I shared it with you. Oh, great. We love gross photos. Yeah, I hate reliving it, but it's a pretty bloody head. Let's take a look.

That's the wrong one. I don't know. I think Rob's being cute. That's for a different one, or maybe. OK.

Oh, sorry. There's like it was medical errors personal injuries attorney. Oh, no. That's part of my story. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. We got a boil. OK, hold on.

Now it's a staple of city.

“Staples and then my elbows are all banged up.”

So I just wasn't in the backs of shape. Oh, you had that top of that head. I'm going to say that's a good forage gash on the top of your head. And it's guard. Not that you can really see.

I have a lot of hair, but the story is nine years old, which is insane. The back of my head is still super sensitive. OK, so you wake up there. You have a concussion. Got the staples, still just in this bathing suit.

And I'm like, I really got to go pee again, of course. But like, man, you can't stand up. You're just in this little bathing suit. I'm like, all right, well, then give me some pants or something. And it give me the big blue hospital outfit, the most conservative hospital in America.

You can't stand up in that bathing suit. Yeah. What's going to happen? So they ended up doing the MRI, the CAT scan, all those things, calling my parents. And you can imagine how that went.

You had to be the first person admitted to that hospital during spring break in history that had a blood alcohol level of zero. The doctor kept telling my mom when the phone, like, man, her blood alcohol count is zero. Because everyone's like, oh, you got hit by a car because she's drunk. And I'm like, no, I'm not drunk.

It just was a freak accident. Well, you know that this is like bad to say, it's kind of better to be drunk. Oh, sure. Get hit because then you're back. You're losing service.

Yeah, you're good to see. Yeah, you're all good stuff. I don't know how I didn't have broken bones. They're like, it's really insane that something much worse didn't happen to me.

So after they ran everything, the MRIs, the CAT scan, it's a million more tests got discharged

that same day. They sent me home with some medicine. And obviously, I just went back to the hotel and went to bed. But I was like, cleared to be a sober individual. Obviously, I was not drinking.

Did the pain set in at some point? Yeah, so that picture I shared with I got back to the hotel. And all my roommates in the hotel as well as in college, they were nursing students. So like, I'm really intrigued by this head of mine.

“But I think like then when I got back, it's like all the emotions hit.”

And I was like, oh my god, this is insane. I was like, do I go home? Do I finish out spring break? Was still my birthday weekend? You got a rally.

I'm gonna say you got a rally. So I did. Good job. So I said, he had sober fun. We went up the next night, so barred on the street from our hotel.

And then when we're there, I kept looking over in this person. This guy kept looking at me and staring at me. And I'm like, I have no idea who this person is. And I'm like, it's not part of our group. It was just really strange.

And he came up to me and he like put his hands like this to my face. And he was like, oh my god, I can't believe your alive. I thought you had died. And it turns out he was in the front seat of the Uber that hit me. And then they obviously kept on driving.

Oh, they kept driving after they hit you. Wow, when all those witnesses. Oh, yeah. Wow. I don't really remember how the rest of the story went.

But he wanted to follow me on Instagram. So we kept in touch for a little bit post college, but nothing ever came of it. Once I got back to Ohio, I had some time to like take everything in.

And I realized that Florida is a no fault state, so that Uber driver never had a paper

anything. But I did have to file a lawsuit, so insurance would cover my medical expenses for that day, which ended up being pretty expensive and that ambulance ride. And then the reason that silly picture that you thought you're getting trolled with, Tim is me.

He's like the most famous lawyer in Cleveland, and he's known for his eyebrow. So if you look at it slowly, go back. It's just a eyebrow. There's billboards throughout Cleveland. I've just the eyebrow.

He raises the eyebrow like the rock house for their life. The eyebrow is his thing. The billboard says nothing else. Just the eyebrow. He doesn't just marry raised one eyebrow.

He also lowers the other ones eventually. Right. It's insane. I couldn't even do it if I tried. But his slogan is, we'll make them pay.

He did just that.

He delivered. He delivered. Wow.

“I understand that it's a no fault state, but that doesn't mean you can run away from”

the scene of an accident. Was the guy charged with anything, the driver? Nothing that I ever found out. That's insane. That's literally a hit and run.

That is quite literally a hit and then a run. It was both a hit and a run. There's nothing obscure about it. I've surprised the people in the Uber weren't like, hey, man. Well, they may be drunk and party and they want to get to their thing.

There. Go, go, go. You didn't hit anything. I'm glad you didn't die because it sounds to me like you stepped in front of the car that had stopped and then continued walking and that car was probably going full

pays. And of course, it was like in the crosswalk, wasn't Jay walking or anything actually fine. The rules. Oh, Lord, marijuana, I'm glad you're alive.

Well, thank you. Yeah, it's a big silver lining to the story. Who paid then? Who did misny make pay with the no fault state? And you basically sue your own insurance for the medical expenses.

Oh, okay. Overall, though, the still if unspring break. Yeah.

I mean, I'll never forget it.

Yeah. Let us true. Well, it's lovely. Yeah. Really quick.

This is so crazy. But my three friends skipped work. Oh, wow. They're the biggest fans. Have seen you guys live.

Here they all come. Oh, my goodness. Later. Hey. Look at this broom.

You guys so much. Thank you for what you do. We bring us so much doing. Look how fun and cute this group is. I want to be in that living room.

I hope you guys have a great day. Yeah. Thank you guys so much. Bye. How is this Katie?

This is Katie. Can you hear me, okay? Oh, beautifully because you're in this sound dampened closet following the rules. I'm a rule follower sometimes. We just moved into this house.

So very exciting, but I had to get all my cat put away. So I could be in the closet with some soft clothes. Kind of you're welcome.

“I think anytime you get a hack to actually motivate yourself to clean.”

It's good. 100%. So I owe you guys. And I appreciate it. Where is the new house?

It's in Spanish work. Utah. Have you heard of it? No, but where is it out? If you're in Salt Lake, you go south towards the National Parks.

You'll have gone to Spanish work. Okay. Is it off the 15? Sure. I've driven through for sure.

Okay. Well, congrats on that. Thank you so much. Are you a Utah native? I grew up in California, like Sacramento area.

Oh, okay. And what brought you to Utah, a lover? Actually no, but I did meet my husband here. And that's why I stayed. And then I'm also a teacher.

Do you guys still like teachers? Oh, my God. The most they're tied with nurses. Our favorite occupation.

I have never had a student stick something up as but though.

Yet, cross your fingers. Yeah. So I'm going to look forward to or dread. And so what year would spring break have been for you? I was already a teacher.

It was in 2015. And 2015 feels like it was a few years ago. But it was a crisp 11 years ago. That's kind of upsetting. You're really right.

Big time upsetting. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's upset. It was always that 1980 felt like 20 years ago.

But 2006 was 20 years ago. That's how beat down that info. It's like a little bit offensive. Yeah. Yeah.

It's hostile. Yeah. Okay. 2015. I'm going on a cruise.

It's me. And three guys. Oh. I know. Very spicy.

It was really fun. I was of course interested in one of them. Since then has come out as gay. So I wasn't as type. And that's okay.

It's almost better that way when you find out. Oh, they didn't like me just because I don't like women. It's not my fault. Yeah. They're often the attractive one in the group.

Yeah. Because they're fun. They take care of themselves. You know, super cute. But anyways, I'm on this cruise.

Where did it depart and where are the stops? It departed out of Texas. And the stops were Jamaica, Bahamas, and one more that I'm forgetting. But a Caribbean cruise. And on the boat.

Have you guys been on a cruise? Oh. Doesn't. But I know enough. No.

You haven't ever been on one? No. They're delightful. But there's days that have like excursions. And then there's days where you're just on the boat.

And so for those boat days, they have pools.

“People are constantly eating ice cream cones, right?”

You're just going get more softer. And they have water slides. So we're going down on these water slides. And we're chatting all the boys go before me. And I'm the last one to go.

And it's one of those water slides where it's almost like this big cylinder. It's very space shipy. And you step into the cylinder. And you standing there. And then it counts down.

The bottom drops out from under you. Oh. And you fall. The slide looks like I would picture like a capital uppercase v. It's very steep decline.

Very steep incline. So you go down. And you shoot back up. Oh, wow. Okay.

Well, your momentum is going to carry you up through the transition.

Think about the second hell of a roller coaster.

You're on the top one that's steeper. You go down and then shoots up another one. Another one is just your body.

That's tricky. I agree with you.

But slide is the closed tube slide.

But not to be confused with a floaty. And it's sort of like a turquoise color. And these all come into place.

“So that's why I'm giving you these random details.”

So I go down the sharp decline. And then I go up and monochids. Just what you're saying. I do not make it over. Yes.

And so I'm falling backward. And it's a closed dark slide. Oh. It's scary. At the bottom of the view.

So I'm just sitting there like, well, what do I do now? And so for just a minute, I panicked. And I just punched the edges of the slide. For the listener, there was the cutest barrage of punches. She threw is like, imagine a rabbit trying to punch out of a sandwich bag.

I was like, well, that did not work. I'm fortunate. And I also remembered we had been standing in line and chatting with the guy behind us. The guy behind us was like, six, five. Oh, fuck.

A big dude.

And I'm like, they're not going to not see me.

It's too twisted. They don't know if I came out the other end. They're just counting. And they're going to send the next person. [MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm more thinking about the water must be able to exit the bottom of the view. So it doesn't collect and fill up the tube. You're so smart. I wasn't thinking any of that.

“I was just like, how am I going to get out of here?”

I was sitting there and I saw a light in front of me. And I kind of scooted forward. And exactly. There was a little hole kind of cut into the slide at the top. I don't know if it's for the water collecting or because people were getting stuff.

Yeah. It's the thing. So I stood up in that hole. So I'm like standing up. And there's just a water slide on both sides of me.

Am I legs are in there? And I'm kind of looking around. Now you look like a golfer. You went from a rabbit punching to a golfer sticking his head up. Oh.

What am I supposed to do? I'm just standing here. Like a loser. And there's a family just eating ice cream cones. Because Monica, when you're going to produce, you'll know you just eat ice cream cones all day.

You go back in, you get another ice cream cone. The legal not to. May make you disembark if you don't. So they're just eating their ice cream cones just staring at me. There's music playing.

It's loud. And I could just kind of shouted at them. I got stuck. They can't hear. It was aggressive.

No, you had to. Katie's like a female version of Jess. I just want to hear Mark. Yeah, I'll take it. They can't hear.

They're eating their ice cream. And they kind of just hurry away. Which is rude. They didn't want to get involved. They're like, this is your problem.

You wanted to go on the water slide. We knew it was too dangerous. So deal with it. Yes. So horrible.

This seems like a you problem. Yeah. You're yucking our young. Okay. How big is the hole?

“It's just fitting your neck or can your whole body.”

No more waste is out. I'm probably standing up and the side hitting like my knee area. Oh, my gosh. Just my head. Can you imagine just a head?

Ha ha ha ha ha. How's even fun here? I should retell it that way. And then somehow you're rotating 360. I just keep shouting at that real knife.

So they kind of hustle away. And then a work where did come a cruise ship worker came over. And I couldn't see. But on the side of the slide, there was some hidden stairs. And there was a gate to it.

So you unlock the gate and it came up the stairs and he helped me out. And he, someone annoyed with me said, You need to relax more. That's why you got stuck. Oh, my kind of aggressive way.

Life, life and time. And like, have you seen a couple of these slides? This isn't even relaxing on that. And so I'm like, okay. And so he kind of helped me out.

And as I'm trained the corner, I did think like, well, at least my friends went first and nobody thought that. And so I turned the corner. And they're all bent over laughing. Because the slide was dark for me.

But for them, they could see the shadow of my body. Like, go down, go up. Not quite make it. Go back down. Punch the slide.

Stand up. Y'all at the family. And then he admonished by the worker. I hate to make this comparison.

But I'm immediately remembering the million drain.

No commercials where they show like a buy section of the pipe. And then they see the claw go up and then back. And then they show it for us. So 100%. Wait, I'm actually very relieved that they did the slide

in a way where you can see on the outside what's happening. Because I'm like, this is so irresponsible. Yeah, so I tried. And they're all just laughing so hard at me. And then the cherry on top, the arm cherry on top,

is after I'd stood up in the slide, my poop was up. Oh, what the-- Wow, great for them, not for you. That's so-- No wonder they ran away.

Yes, they hurried their children away. It was pornographic. I feel like the mom of that family could have been like, oh honey. Yeah.

It was a male worker that helped me out. So maybe he felt more weird saying something. I get it. But I'm like, I feel like someone could have told me. I don't have any state people before someone like me now.

Oh, yeah. It was actually a delight. It was ring break.

But slide was gay.

“Did you get frisky with any of the three guys?”

Two of them came out later as gay. That third one, no. We just were friends. It would have been really fun. But I wasn't anyone's type, I guess.

Those gay guys may be hooked up. My whole Caribbean cruise. Somebody's got to get some action. Maybe the other one didn't hook up with you because they were like, I saw her boob and then I'd be taking advantage.

Oh, you study at some ethics. Ethical. That's exactly it. Had to have been that. Although my boobs are massive.

So like he probably would have been like, yes. No, I'm sure. Exactly. So I went the other way. It's like if you saw a big massive breath,

you'd be like, we're going to touch that. Listen, my point is he wanted to be like, oh, that's unethical. He's like, I'll be a good dude.

Always who we're back in the States and shoot my shot there.

I just want to congratulate with you that that happened to me on the lazy river. Sam Marcos River, real river. Yeah, real river where I fell out and almost drowned. And then when I survived, my boob was out.

And you're like, I've been to enough. Exactly. And didn't anyone try to touch it as mentioned? No, I was far away. But well, first I said, I hated that.

Gellon at me immediately. I hated that. No, it's kind of like the slight thing. I'm stuck. And then I look over and Molly told me immediately.

“That's why you bring at least one girlfriend on a cruise, I think.”

That's such a fun store. It really is. Thank you. I was like, I wonder how this little counter is a disaster. I'm just going to submit it and see what happens.

It's a trapping. It's a claustrophobia. It's a public nudity. It's an unauthorized evacuation of your arrest front.

It's holster. I would say an unauthorized evacuation of me from the slide. Ha! You're right. Well, I'm just going to have one more silver lining,

which is I keep waiting for you to say the big lug came down and snapped your leg. I think about the fact that when you're standing what a vulnerable position you were in for knee trauma. And you're moving with a still been out

because it was already out. You know, it had been broken knees. Maybe second move out. Maybe bottoms off. Oh, bottoms.

What a. Maybe the fabric would have readjusted back over the bill. The universe was like too much too much too much too much. Guys, I've been a fan for a long time. So this was very thrilling for me.

So thanks for letting me chat with you. I loved it. It was really fun for me. It was really fun for me. We're fans.

Yeah, big time. And thanks for teaching. Honestly. Thank you. It's a wonderful job.

I have told them this story. Sands the nudity. So I'm like, are any of them going to listen to this and be like,

my teacher never told me that.

But if I'm not well, then they be like, that's a good teacher. I have. And then they'll have to acknowledge your teacher as a human being. And they're entitled to be a full-born human being,

even if they're a teacher. You might see them on a cruise. You might see more of them than you're expecting on the cruise. That would ruin a cruise of your teacher. If you got there with three dudes.

You're hoping to hook up with one. I'll just need to see Mike in his family every time you're having fun. You'll be like, fuck. Is that little shit around? If I were you, I'd go around the whole classroom and find out what their plans were

for spring break. And then choose a position tomorrow. Things are happening to me. We better do that. Okay.

Well, lovely meeting you. Yeah. Have a great rest of your day. We'll see you. I think you guys.

Bye. Hello. Hi. Hi. What kind of squishies back there?

Is that a jelly cat? This is a Squish Melo I think. Squish Melo. We've got a couple fouls. Tell 'em one.

Do you have children's or is that yours? I don't know. That is mine. I little brother actually gave it to me. He passed away in October.

Oh, sorry. Where are you in the world? So I'm actually in Bahrain. What a scary place to be currently now. It's definitely different right now.

It's been crazy. They've been shooting drones and missiles at Bahrain. Yes. There was some bombs that just happened before this started. I probably won't hear them with this on, but they could be going on now.

But it's been fun. And what are you doing in Bahrain? You're getting an early lead on the F1 race? No. I've lived here for about four years now.

I work at a university. I lecture there and I really love it.

“Honestly, I came originally thinking it'd be maybe one or two years.”

I had like a fellowship with the embassy. And then after that, I just really loved it. I love the community. People are so welcoming.

And it became a second home for sure.

So now it's very sad that this is happening. Yeah. It's a pretty sexy city, right? It's like kind of glitzing glammy and there's water. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we're in Ireland. So we've got lots of water. We've got beaches. Sorry, you guys kind of on house arrest a little bit. Like everyone's staying in, I assume.

Yes. It feels a little bit like COVID. I live in a high rise. So I'm staying with family friends right now, just because it's a little bit safer. And what subject do you teach?

I teach public speaking. I teach debate and I teach education for teachers. Do you ever refer to debate as a dance? Like Adam Grant does it? I like that.

I think it is like a dance. You first start by saying, like, yeah, do you want a dance? 'Cause sometimes you don't want it. A lot of times people don't want it to be babes. That's true.

Those people are not invited by dinner party, but still.

Okay, so you have a crazy spring break story.

Yes. My story was in 2015.

“So I was a sophomore in college at this point.”

I'm from Florida, originally. So I've lived in Florida up until the point that I moved to Bahrain. What part of Florida? A city called Lakeland, you know? I kind of do is at lower middle of the state.

Yeah, pretty central. Like between Tampa and Orlando. I lived there and then I went to university of Florida. So I was in Gainesville. Oh, that's not great for me, but that's okay.

I'll let it go. It's a great place. But my story actually happens in Georgia. Oh, my god. Spring break in Georgia.

That's a mistake. Number one. Discitting Monica. Honestly, it was. We decided that we're going to drive to Georgia during spring break and start hiking the

Appalachian Trail. Oh. All of us are Floridians. So none of us had really camped that much before, especially on our own. Maybe like with our parents and we were kids, but we rented camping equipment from our university.

We rented a tent, me and my friend Michelle got some ground pads. And then we were with some siblings, cat and Samuel. And they didn't bring the ground pads. We were kind of thinking if you similar weather to Florida and March. So we packed some t-shirts.

We filled our packs to the brim and then night before we considered okay. Maybe it'll be cold. So we went to Burlington Colt Factory, got a coat. And then we tried to find gloves. Couldn't find anywhere.

So we ended up getting mechanics gloves. So pretty well thought out. I hate to interrupt with this, but I did get lost in a Burlington coat factory. I remember this story. That's easy.

Yeah, it's huge too many coats. I'm going to add too. Not only the weather is going to be new for you, but the Florida for folks who have not been Flight of State in the country, then you're going to go to the Appalachian Trail. Exactly.

So we have all this equipment. We've packed tons of cliff bars, peanut butter, our packs are full. And we drove from about 2 a.m. and we arrived. So at the beginning of this semester, I actually had an emergency surgery right before this semester started because I had a kidney stone.

Had the stem, had to go back to university. Very painfully trying to get around classes. And I had just gotten this stem out. And now we get to the trailhead.

And the first thing that happens is I'm in a lot of pain when we get there.

So I go to the bathroom and I start passing a kidney stone.

“Which I've been told is the worst thing ever.”

Can you explain the experience? Does it feel like a can opener is passing through or something? It's just like jagged. Yeah. And it came out.

I saw it. It looks like a jagged rock. Just super painful. It felt large too. I've had the surgery where they blast it.

When I first started having the pain, it does feel what I would imagine. Like contractions feel like where you're in a lot of pain. And then it stops. Then you're in a lot of pain.

And then it stops. I also had a in college kidney stone. And it is that it is horrible. But I wasn't on another trail. Yeah.

Well, I started the trail like that. So we started really strong. But I eventually come out. I tell them. I was like, listen, I just passed a kidney stone.

I'm in pain. But I kind of feel better now. Ready to go. I'm so sorry. I keep interrupting.

Is there blood? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's jagged. Yeah.

You should be on pain killers. Oh, yeah. But we just keep hiking. And I have old tennis shoes on. We're genuinely thinking it's going to be maybe a little bit colder than Florida.

But we start seeing snow in the distance. Really. That's pretty cool. But then eventually it's pretty clear. The whole path is deep, deep snow.

Oh. And we got like our giant backpack on. And tennis shoes. So we start walking. And it's so slippery that every five to ten minutes.

Somebody slips. And then because our backpacks are so huge. You get stuck on the ground. Oh, my God. You're like a cockroach.

And no one's suggesting turned back. No. So it's just a point. The funny thing was this part of year is a pretty common time.

“I think for people to start the through hike all the way to Maine.”

So people that were starting the whole hike. Their backpacks were way smaller than ours, even. And multiple people became and said, you guys are doing the whole hike. Like they're in back. Like, no, maybe just the week five days.

So as we keep hiking Michelle ends up falling and she twists her ankle. So she can no longer carry her pack that well. But we still keep going. So me and Samuel take turns carrying one pack on the front, one on the back. Oh, fuck.

We are trying to make it to the first campsite is our goal.

Because we're doing like the approach trail. Everything is pretty slanted and steep. So there's no good place to set up camp. We keep asking people that are passing coming back. And they keep saying, you know, it may be like a mile, mile and a half.

But we keep walking and it's starting to get dark. So we kind of realize we're not going to make it. Why? We set up under some trees. So we finally take everything off. We set up our tent.

We put everything up because it seems like a good clearing. There's a lot of really old trees nearby. So after everything set up, Samuel looks up. And there's also a storm that's coming in. So the wind is blowing more.

And he's like, guys, I really don't think that we should camp here. Because I think one of the branches could fall off on top of the tent.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So we pack everything up again.

But it is getting really dark. So we keep walking along. We don't keep going towards the campsite. But we walk perpendicular. And there's a ledge.

And we just start following it to see what happens. Eventually, you hit a cabin. And Samuel and Kat knock on the door and go inside. You go into a kitchen. And they talk to a chef.

And they're like, hey, who stays here? Is there any chance we could stay here? They're like, no, absolutely not. You can't stay on the property at all. Like, you need to get out of here.

But a woman followed them out. And she kind of whispers to them. And she goes, listen, me and my boyfriend. We had found this clearing. So if you just walk back the way that you came,

you'll see our footsteps. And this snow. This feels like a fairy tale. Like a handsome and gruddle. A fable.

Is this woman real or not? Yeah, she goes. And then the other lady was awake. It could have been. Was it the cook there in the 1700s?

And he's dead too. He was cooking a person in the pot. It's just story to person. We go back. We start looking.

And we're almost at point. We're going to give up. Because getting very dark at this point. But then we actually do see what we can. Our footsteps going up the side of the ledge.

And we're like, okay, solid. Let's go. You guys are so off the trail now. And now you're going to follow another one. No, at this point, how do you just keep going?

You probably would have hit the spot. But we see it. So we go. We climb up at this point. It's so dark though.

So we can't really tell our surroundings. And we go ahead. We set up our camp. There seems to be a little clearing at the top of this hill. But we're kind of in our hurry because we're just tired.

We want to be done. We do string our bags up into the trees for bears. We just have peanut butter with our cliff bars. And then we get in the tent. So Samuel had originally wanted to steep in the hammock.

But it was way too cold at this point. Like the wind is blowing. It's freezing outside. We're in deep snow. So that was not an option.

So all four of us are inside the tent. But it's probably built for two people. And two of them didn't have ground pads. So we go to sleep. Me and Michelle.

But Samuel and Kat all night are up puddled against each other.

Because they're basically directly on the snow.

So at this point.

“I do remember waking up in the middle of the night and seeing them puddled together.”

And I do think about it in retrospect. We probably could have adjusted and shared the pads. But they're freezing. I wake up in the morning. And there's just like water falling in our tent.

And the tent's also kind of caved in. So part of it's touching my face when I wake up at this point. I find out that Kat has been wearing panty hose for warmth under her pants. Okay. And she's so cold that I have to cut her out of them.

Because panty hose don't give any warmth. Yeah. That's like a really not smart thing. I didn't know that. Like back to the snow.

Yeah. Now you know. They're really super thin. But it feels like it would insulate you. No, they're there to just make your legs look smooth.

Okay. In our haste the night before we did not put the spokes into the tent. The spikes. You didn't hammer in the spikes at all. It looked flat.

But we do feel there's something hard at the bottom of the tent. After I've cut her out of her tights. We kind of peek out. And the tent had slid down the mountain. And then the middle of the night.

“And the only thing that was stopping it was this branch that was coming out of the ground.”

Oh. You guys. I'm sorry. I feel bad because I should feel bad. But I'm like, why did you guys do you do?

You're mad. You're a little mad. I know. I'm not. Because of course I could certainly be in this situation.

I can see you're in an eye attacking something with similar education. Your body was trying to tell you with the kidney stone. Don't go. Oh, right. It was trying to warm me.

Yeah. How far are we talking that it had slid would you guess? How many feet? Maybe between 20 and 30 feet. Oh, my.

You guys were on a ride. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't feel it. I think it was a very slow decline.

But then this tree was what saved us. I wish you would have woke up in the cabin in your place. It was all the way. Out of the way. This point we decided it was not possible.

Especially for Samuel and cat that didn't have the ground pads and couldn't sleep through the night. We decided, okay, we need to hike back and we need to drive home. We cannot make it this week. We went back and we did end up going to the beach, which you probably should have started with. Went to the beach for the rest of the spring break and it ended well.

And no more kidney stones. No more since then. That was the last one. And do they say what causes them? They said to drink a lot of water.

“I remember after that, I think it can be from a number of things.”

But I think some of it can just be genetic as well.

But I've never had one again.

I think some people are prone. But not a lot of water sounds for me. Well, no, I don't know if that is anything to do with it. But they did say, like, don't drink too much tea. Oh.

But I drink a lot of tea.

Oh, wow. That's a local spirit.

Some people might be disappointed in your story.

And I love it. Sometimes those things work out. I feel like that's how you learn. Most of my camping stories have been similar. But I'm learning.

You know, all I took from this is I was like, oh, yeah. I should hike the Appalachian Trail.

“I think you can take six months and you can do the whole thing.”

Whoa. Okay. Yeah. I'll be looking for things to do with my older age. Well, this has been a delight. Can I give a quick shout out to my mom?

Of course. So, she's amazing. I know my situation right now. Obviously, it's tough being here with everything happening. But especially, you know, just after losing my brother and a car accident.

And me being here. I know this is 10-time charter for her. And she's also a huge armchair. Oh, she is. What's her name?

Shannon. Oh, Shannon. Oh, Shannon. We're so happy to have you. And then can my bunker mate who's been going through the world.

Me say hi. Yes, of course. Hi. Hi, that's Hi, Monica. I'm, and I'm cherry as well.

And Courtney got me introduced to the podcast. And I wait for Friday. So listen to, I'm sure anonymous. So it's really a pleasure to speak to both of you. And are you from Bahrain?

I'm Indian. But born and raised here. But I did study in India and between as well. Wow. And do you listen just because of Monica?

You can be honest. No, both of you. Okay. Okay, thank God. Okay.

“I would like to add something, though, because I'm from South India.”

And recently Monica had mentioned a housewarming ritual where you boil the milk. Yes. So I shifted my house recently as well. And had to do the same thing because my folks were pressuring me to boil the milk. I could relate.

Wow. And do you know what to see horses? Does that track? You know Monica thinks Indians don't know if the horses are. You did look genuinely confusing.

Yeah. You nailed that one. I did. You don't need to know what they are.

They're basically made of dust.

They're little tiny creatures that live in an aquarium. I mean, of course, they live in nature. I feel like I would know. You would recognize it. But you might not be able to on a cognitive test immediately say the word.

Because of your Indian heritage. It's okay. I'm with you Monica. We're going to send a lot of good wishes your way. But yeah.

Yeah. Well, we're delighted to have both of you listening and about rain. That's so cool. Yeah. Such a pleasure speaking towards a few.

All right. Bye. Bye. I love them. I love them.

I love them both. Wow. I got validated by a couple things. You sure did. The boiling milk and the lack of course.

Although we still didn't get reasons. I was thinking she was about to explain it to us. And she's just as confused as you are. And your parents and her parents. Hello.

Oh, hello. What fake name would you like? Ooh, I have no preference. This is wild.

I've never guessed this one.

But I'm going to go with Gerald. Oh. Isn't that strong? I was going to say Steven. I feel good as a Steven.

Are you in a bathroom? Sure. Are you sneakily doing this while you're at work? Sure. Oh, I love it.

I love the spirit. Yeah.

“Are you allowed to tell us Steven what part of the country you're in?”

I'm in the Boston area. Okay. And then Matt. I do not. Okay.

Excellent. No, I knew it was coming. I was waiting for it. We haven't had anyone from Boston in a while. Haven't been able to ask.

It's been a while. Okay. So you have a crazy spring break story? I do. My story takes place back in 2017.

My senior year of college. My planning spring break. Everybody was going to can't come. But I have a buddy who likes to zig when everybody's asked. So he found a group on.

Okay. Great start. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things.

I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things.

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I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things. I'm going to do a lot of things.

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I'm going to start dancing and show off the moves and also a couple of girls start coming up to us and we're dancing, right? We're having a good time and buy them some drinks.

“Do they appear to be locals or fellow spring breakers?”

I thought they were fellow spring breakers. Okay. So I asked her.

I wanted to get out of here.

We should get out of here. She's like, yeah, sure. Let's do it. Let's go. So we walk back to my hotel and talk to the guard with the AK47.

Can we get in and he's like bracelet bracelet. She goes, oh, it's no problem. We can go back to my place and I was like, oh, okay. She's like, I was just called right. So she calls her right. A couple of minutes later, we're getting into an E 150 van.

You know, those vans with no windows. Oh, my God. Like a plumbers van. Yeah, yeah, real appealing. I get in first.

I was like five rows. So I go all the way to the back. I'm going to be able to kiss a little bit on the way there. And Elsa and I turn around. She's not next to me.

She's in the front seat, talking to the driver and Spanish. So my okay. We start going and she looks back and he says a couple things here and there. But mostly talking to this guy. So the ride is 10 20 30 minutes go by.

And now we're away from thoughts or water. And your friend is gone. He's back at the hotel. He didn't come with me.

Yeah, he's doing whatever I assume he's talking to the squirrel.

He's in a separate room. Yeah, whatever. We pull into this like condominium like complex and then he pulls into an actual garage of one of the condos and then we get out.

“And the only thing he says to me is have fun, buddy.”

And I'm like, okay, okay. She opens the door to the condo. There's flower petals everywhere leading from the door all the way to the middle of the room with like a jacuzzi in it. And then there's like a big king sized bed with red silk sheets.

And I realized this is a prostitution ring. Which by the way is far better than a kidnapping ring. When we're away now, the different outcomes when you pull and do the garage in the van. So he was a John. Our friend is an unsuspecting unwitting John, but he would be either pimper protection.

Oh, so the John is the person who buys. Oh, okay. I didn't even know I'm learning. Okay, great. We're all learning.

So we get in there. I go to the bathroom. Oh, God. This is not what I thought it was going to be. Can I ask how much money you have on you at this point?

I've got like 20 or 40 dollars cash. I've got a limit on my card. So I can't afford anything. Yeah, yeah. Even if I want to, I splash water on my face and I come out of the bathroom.

And she's laying on the bed in less clothing than when I entered the bathroom. Like, oh, hey, I think I'm going to get out of here. She goes, no, no, whatever you want to do. Like now the Spanish is coming out. And she's like, whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do.

Like we can do it, come on. It's going to be a great time. And I'm like, no, I can't. I don't have the money to, I just need to get out of here.

“And all of a sudden, you hear like a bang, bang, bang, bang.”

But it wasn't on the door that we came in. It came from something else. What the heck was that? Sound like metal. So she gets up.

And she goes over and she goes to a vent. That's on the wall, but on the floor. And she opens that in a hand pops that hand gives her a piece of paper. She puts the door back on the vent. And then she comes over to me and hands me the piece of paper.

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“We also had a situation in college where I won't say who also ended up in the hallway.”

He was gone. And we couldn't find him. And we wake up in the mornings in the hallway. Yeah. And you know mine about getting arrested and running with Kenny 11th grade.

Cancun, ding ding ding ding. Oh. At a bar, meet a gal. The bar butts up to the beat. So half of the bar is on the actual beat.

Right. And we start hooking up on that sand. And then all of a sudden security lifted me off of her. And brought me to two cops that were just outside of the little boundary of the bar. And was she a prostitute?

No, she was just a horny Mexican gal. No, she was fucking horny. She was fucking horny. She was fucking gay. She said, she said, do you have a light?

And I gave her a light with my zippo, ding ding ding. And then she said, I'm on fire for you in my ear. And I was like, oh my goodness. What's happening? I was in 11th grade and drunk on DAC.

How old was he? I mean. She was like, I don't know how old he was. But she was like my age. All of a sudden, so the security guards bring me to two cancun police officers that are sitting right at the edge of the bar.

And they're screaming, you can't do that in the bar. And the two cops have me by both or holding me like by the elbow. Well, they're now signaling to more cops that are on the curb out in front of the bar.

I know one thing is that you cannot end up in a Mexican jail.

And like this guy, I was on a $200 trip with Kenny all in. And I had probably 60 bucks to my name for the whole trip in no ATM cart. So I can't pay these guys off. This is like day three of the trip and they have little batons. So they start waving to the other guys to come down presumably.

“And I think to put me in handcuffs and take me to a car.”

And when they lift their hands away from me, I just think of sprinting down the beach.

Yes, and I'm running down the beach.

And it's dark. And I just ran as fast as humanly possible down the beach all the way back to my hotel. Probably like a half mile. They stop chasing me. Do you think about jumping in the water swimming?

I would have done absolutely anything to not end up in some car going to jail and can't cune. Why would they take you to jail just because you were at the bar?

“I mean, because I was having sex at a bar.”

I know, but like in public jail, you'd be like, go home.

Well, I can only say what the stereotype at the time was, which is they're taking you there to shake you down. Right. But that run, I know his run he's talking about. I just running, like, are they going to tackle me?

I'll close are they behind me? Are they pulling their guns out? Luckily the beach was right there and it was dark. So I just ran to the beach. Yeah.

“It's weird because since you have such a strong sense of smell,”

you've just smelled so many people. Oh, that's true. I'm sure some of them smelled bad. She did not. Odds, why?

They're have been some situations for sure. That's the price to do a business. Oh! Oh! I can't do that.

I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. Do you want to sing a tune or something?

I want to sing a tune or something. I want to sing a tune or something. Oh. I can't do that. We don't have a book and a song for this new show.

So here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions in the help of our cheers. We'll get some suggestions. Beautiful. I'm a fire-rime dish.

I'm a fire-rime dish. Enjoy.