Armchair Anonymous: Stalking III

I'm Diane Shepard, I'm joined by Lily Padman,

“who's currently trying to look up a fact to prove me on something.”

>> It's an opinion of Lily, right on. Today is, this is a big trigger warning episode in that it's stalking part three. So, you know, stalking is gonna have all the stuff you might expect in stalking.

>> It's really tough. >> It's really tough, but it was really good too.

>> It was, yeah, incredible.

>> I recommend listening to this one. Please enjoy stalking part three. [ Music ] >> Oh, I got your shirts. >> Oh, I'm Jerry, that looks so cute on you.

>> Yeah, it does. >> I can't take it and compliment from you. >> Okay, I just wanted to say thank you so much. >> What time zone are you in? >> Central.

>> Central. >> Wow. >> That feels special. I'm already so sad you got stalked. >> Oh, sure.

>> And then it was by breakfast.

>> I had a sex dream about Brad Pitt last night. >> You did?

“Can we pause Kelly to hear Monica sex dream about Brad Pitt?”

>> I would love to. >> Yeah, yeah. >> That's really remember the details you were just having sex. >> It just caught to you having sex or you were on a date. >> Yeah, we were hanging out and learning.

>> Okay. >> Those are a lot of really good kissing. >> Oh, there is a lot of kissing. >> He's so hot, you guys, especially my dream. [ Laughter ]

>> I agree, but he didn't stalk you on Fortnite. >> No.

>> Sadly, this was maybe the opposite of Brad Pitt.

>> Oh, no. >> We'll get there. >> Okay, so Kelly, you're in the central time zone. You have a really adorable leopardy and or hyena print curtain behind you. >> Thank you for noticing.

They are blankets for my girls' rooms. And there's a frozen one that you can't see. I almost put it behind me, but that felt like too aggressive. >> No, we're not afraid. We're not afraid of a infection.

Okay, so please set the scene for us. What happened what year? >> So to set the scene, this happened in my home town where I still live in Springfield, Illinois. So we're three hours south of Rob's hometown of Chicago.

We're in the land of Lincoln. >> Okay, great, great, great. >> This took place in 2002 when I was 16 years old. >> That's too young for Sedacra, I already don't like it. >> Bad news, so one thing about me, I'm a lifelong scaredy cat.

So I was that friend at the haunted houses that would wait in the car because even to wait in the parking lot, just felt too risky. That's the level of scaredy cat that we're dealing with. >> And my friends knew this about me and they loved messing with me, especially one friend in particular.

And it was that friend who was sleeping over at my house on the night that this all began. So as we were falling asleep in my room, she asked if I noticed someone outside of my window. And I know that that sounds alarming to you, but she would jump scare me all the time and just was constantly keeping me on my toes. So I really didn't think anything of it.

I brushed her off, I told her to knock it off and just go to bed. And for whatever reason, she just like went along with it. And I don't know if she convinced herself she didn't see anything or she was just that tired. Either way, we went to bed, that was that. So a few days later, my mom came into the house after mowing our grass.

And she asked me if I've been sneaking people in through my window. >> I said no, and I asked her why. Well, when she was mowing the side yard, she found an empty case of beer right outside of my window. Oh my gosh, this person just fucking haphazardly left the evidence.

“>> It's important to note here that we had those retro, like vertical, flat, hanging blinds.”

I don't know if you remember that. >> Yeah. >> Yes. So to close those blinds, they would be flush, like side by side, and they would be flush against the window. Well, mine were broken.

And so when I would try to close them all the way, they would get tangled up. So I would just set them to almost closed, so they were stacked kind of by each other. But they were at an angle. That's important to note because the person outside of the window could just stand at an angle and see into the room very clearly. So my mom found this case of beer, and all of the bottles were still inside, but they were all empty.

So presumably, he stood outside of the window long enough to kill an entire case while he watched my friend and I sleep. >> Oh. >> And it was summer time, so it's not like he had a couple left, came back another night, unless he really enjoyed a hot beer. So needless to say, I was very freaked out.

I did not sleep in my room for a good long while. I did tack a dark sheet up over my window. I don't know why I went with a sheet instead of a thick blanket, but I was 16.

And there were just questionable choices being made.

Maybe a month or so passed without incident and things kind of went back to business as usual. And then I was in my room doing homework at my desk after school one day still not sleeping in there. But during waking hours, I was still spending some time in there. So my back was to the window and I was sitting at my desk doing homework when all of the sudden I heard a slow tap. >> No.

>> Tap on my window. >> My God.

“>> And what time are we talking like five or six like night?”

>> No, this is daytime this time. >> So I jumped up. I ran out of the room, screamed for my mom. My mom ran outside, but by then the person was gone. He probably saw me through that flimsy sheet or he heard me scream.

>> Can I ask how densely populated your neighborhood was? Were you like 20 feet from the next house, were you a half acre? >> We were on the corner, but we did have really close next to our neighbors. But we were surrounded by a lot of elderly neighbors. And so there wasn't a lot of people outside and nobody saw him.

And we also didn't have that kind of relationship with our neighbors. It's not like everybody was chatting and comparing notes. So to our knowledge, nobody saw this person. So over the course of the next few weeks, this happened a few more times.

But for finally, my mom and I came up with a plan.

But the plan should have been contact the police, obviously, and maybe like install security cameras.

“>> I'm thinking Pangey pit, do you know what those are?”

>> I don't. >> It's like a trap you make in the jungle for a jackwire. >> You put palm fronds over a hole you dug and then at the bottom is bamboo spikes. So when it falls in, there I'm paled. I would have installed a Pangey pit in front of the window.

>> The plan that we came up with was hair brand, but maybe somewhat similar to your train of thought of handling it on our own. So my mom's bedroom butted up to my wall that had the desk against it. And she also had a sliding glass door and her room that opened up into our yard. So her idea was if you hear it again, when you're at the desk doing homework,

kick underneath the desk, kick against the wall, all here it.

We had a big black lab name buddy.

I know best boys are only humans, but but he was the best boy dog. She said all that buddy out and he'll catch the part. So sure enough, like a week later, I'm at my desk. This time Monica, it was evening, when I'm sitting there when I hear that terrifying, slow, >> I heard the tapping, I held it together enough to kick under the wall.

My mom heard this signal. She sent buddy outside and he tore off after the person. So my mom and I went out onto the back porch and we were up at the top of the hill. Like I said, it was nighttime. So we could see all the neighbor's motion sensors going off as buddy chased this person.

So unfortunately, buddy did not catch the part, but he did effectively scare the person off. So we thought, okay, fast forward about six months, maybe. I was walking out to my car to go to school in the morning and I parked out in front of our house on the street. Decks, I don't know anything about cars, but I can tell you that I drove an early 90s,

Pontiac, sunbird convertible. >> No, well, yeah, two liter four cylinder, probably. >> Sure, I believe you. >> We have no choice, but to believe that. >> I mean, it's all we can do.

So as I'm walking out to my car, I noticed that there is a size of a hole that's cut out of the soft top of my convertible. >> What? >> Oh, boy. >> So I go around to the driver side of the car and I open the door to assess the situation

and I quickly realize two things. Number one, there is a substance all over my steering wheel and up onto my windshield. And number two, there's a Polaroid picture that's underneath my driver side when she'll wipe her face and into my car. >> Oh, my God.

>> I wish that I still had the photo just so I could have submitted it to Emma to show you guys, but it was confiscated as evidence. So I have to describe it to you. So it was a man from the neck down, a selfie. He was shirtless, rocking some acid wash jeans.

The top button of his jeans was still fastened, but his zipper was completely down and he had pulled his genitals through the open zipper. >> Thanks for referring to it as genitals. >> We are in a criminal case. >> Keeping it above board.

“And it's that creative choice of keeping that top button fastened that I think really”

still sticks with me to this day. >> Oh, my God, it's so unnatural. >> Was he in the car in the picture? >> No, he was not in my car in the picture. He was standing upright.

>> Were you able to ascertain or take a stab at what age this abdomen looked like? >> I would say 30s to 40s. >> It's not a classmate and it's not one of your geezer neighbors. It's not a granddad.

>> No, there were some apartments that were a little bit sketchy that were a few

He appeared to be running in that direction.

“So I think it was somebody who was maybe 30 to 40 age range that was possibly living”

over in that complex, I don't know for sure, but the police did get involved after that finally. And they did patrol her house for quite a while after that and would come by at night and shine their light on my window that I was no longer like anywhere near for a long

long time, but they never caught the guy.

>> Oh my God. >> I have a necessary, but terrible question, which is did they take the seam and sample so that they would have like DNA if necessary and a match? >> It was. >> Well, I had to be right.

>> What? That was the substance. >> I was going to say that's my peeping time, slash stalker, slash what I would like to call an unauthorized ejaculation. >> Oh my God, you got a lot of it.

>> You got a lot of it. >> An unauthorized ejaculation. >> Oh, man. I guess can you ever get comfortable in your house? >> It took a really long time for me to be able to sleep in my room again and even now

to this day, my daughter's bedroom's face are straight and every night when I put them to bed, I pull the blinds all the way, make sure that curtains are around and it just stays with you. >> Absolutely. Did you ever get an eerie sense that you were being watched before you actually knew

you were? >> I don't know.

Like I said, I was such a chicken that I kind of always felt impending doom at all times,

but since then, definitely. >> Man, it's hard to guess what happened because obviously this person's behavior was escalating, they were fearless if they sat there and drink a 12 pack, they're out on the street cutting a hole in your car, they're jerking off in your car. I mean, so all the fear is gone, they're not afraid of this.

So why did they disappear a person doing this also could have gotten arrested for any number

“of things if they're like impulse control is got a wonder why it stopped?”

>> I don't know if it was because the police were driving by at night that they just were like, well, a finding a new person then to start this up with or what, but regardless, it did stop. >> That is so upsetting. >> It's a humdinger, but I'm so excited you guys because it got me here.

>> It's like my only good story and I never check your prompts ever, but I was listening to Armchair anonymous last week and you had said something about make sure that you're checking the prompts. I was walking the dog. I was like, oh, I'm going to check it out.

>> I submitted and here we are, but we're happy to meet you, but I do wish I didn't happen

to you. >> Same, same. Is it okay if I shout out? >> Absolutely. >> My husband, Henry, and then our three kids, Charlie, Willow, and Lola, Willow and

Lola are not allowed to listen to this episode for many years, but I would love to be able to fast forward through to the end so that they can hear their names. >> [LAUGH] >> They did also make me promise that I would ask you to tell Christian hello for them, Dax.

>> Consider it done. >> The princess honest says hello. >> Yes. >> So cool.

“And then I wanted to just quickly thank both of you for being so candid about addiction”

from the perspective of an addict and also Monica as a loved one. Even though my mom is not in my life and that's incredibly difficult, you guys have offered me a new lens to view her through and view her addiction through. And because of that, I can now carry compassion where I used to only carry so much anger and that's just such a gift.

>> Oh, thank you, Kelly, and we appreciate that so much. >> Yeah. >> Thank you guys so much, this was a dream come true. >> All right, thank you. >> Bye.

>> Bye. >> Hello. >> How are you? >> Very good. >> Which tells where you're at.

>> I am in Alberta, Canada. >> What kind of temps do we have up in Alberta? Is it gotten nice yet? >> We've had a really rough spring. It's been like raining, nonstop, flooding and it's been ton of shitty.

>> But today's not too bad. >> Okay, so please set the scene for us. What year was this, what happened? >> My story starts a couple of years ago back in 2022. And my best friend and I, we were out for my birthday.

We were at a Taylor Swift dance party. >> Oh, oh, yeah. >> Perfect birthday. >> Yeah. >> So it was fun to have say if we were having lots to drink.

We were at the bar, getting another round of shots. And I got it to take some footage from around the number. It said happy birthday. Are you interested in making some money? I would love some photos.

So we were both pretty drunk. We were like, this is probably just some like bot or some scams. Didn't really think that much of it. But because we would've been drinking a lot. We thought it was hilarious.

If we were like, yeah, we'll send you some videos. It was building out Taylor Swift. They had throw in a little extra. We'll even show you our feet. >> We didn't really think too much about the fact

>> Yeah, weird for a bot.

“>> Yeah, we didn't think of it at the time.”

And so the person responded back, "Oh, I have something a little sexier in my." And at that point, we were like, okay, weird. Delete block. And so, flash forward a couple of months.

I was out with another friend out for drinks for this friend's birthday. We weren't doing anything too crazy. But I started getting texts from another random number saying, "I see that you're out tonight." I'd be given any thought to those photos I asked for.

>> Oh. [MUSIC] >> Yeah, it turns on a dime. Now it's terrifying.

>> Yeah, again, we had a little bit to drink.

So I responded, like, "Sorry, I don't send random pictures to strangers." There's a website called OnlyFans.

“I think that might be what you're looking for.”

The person was like, "Oh, I'm not a stranger." And I was like, "Okay, now I'm really creeped out, block, delete." And so, every once in a while, I would be waking up in the morning to texts from random numbers, just being like $500 question mark. Have you thought about me at all?

Just weird things like that. And never responded. Blocked delete, then flash forward a couple months again. And I'm at a concert with my mom and another friend. And it's a country concert.

I start getting messages that are like, "I love a country girl." What the fuck? >> I'd love to see you with nothing but that cowboy hat. >> Oh. >> And I'm like, "Okay, now you know where I am."

You know what I'm wearing? There was also references to who I was with. So I started to get a little worried at this point. I hadn't really told anybody that much yet. I hadn't told my husband.

I hadn't told my parents, but at this point I was like, "Okay, this is what's going on." If something happens to me, like, look at this. Because somebody is clearly paying attention to where I am and what I'm doing. At this point, I didn't respond, but I was getting messages that were like, "I've lusted after you for so long, you wouldn't believe it."

Just weird things. And I'm like, "Okay, who is this?" And they also kept using two things that were really weird. A lot of emojis in their text messages. And then also, they kept calling me deer.

That seems like an old man term. >> Yeah, totally. >> Just to be clear, I heard you are married at the time. >> Yeah, again, flash forward probably a one or two months. And I'm, again, with a couple friends, well, we're not out yet.

We're getting ready to go out. And these are my high school friends, and I start getting the messages again. And they're like, seriously, I'm willing to pay more than 500, just consider these photos. I really, really, really have some things in mind. And I start going into like, pretty as close as it details about what they want.

And then they start saying, "I want pictures of you and the one in the middle." So then I start looking and I realized that my friend had posted some stories of us getting ready on Instagram. >> Okay. >> Yeah, because I'm like as the dude in Uber driver, like, how does he know every

time she goes out? Is he a local driver, is he a neighbor? >> That night, we go out, I didn't respond or anything, but my friend, who is the one in the middle, she then gets a text. Like the same random number, all it says it's $500 question, that says somebody who has access

“to my number and her number, and somebody who, I think, is following us on social media.”

And also out this year, randomly I'm waking up to messages from random numbers. Every time I'm blocking it, every time new number is popping up. And then one night, this is almost a full year after the original text message. And I was having dinner at my mom and dad posts, and I got a text message, and it's like,

I see you're out having some fun tonight, maybe you'll finally are willing to send me

those photos. And I thought, maybe my sweatpants are my mom and dad, it's like I am not out tonight. What are you talking about? And so I go, and I look at my best friends, Instagram, and she had posted a story of us from a couple months ago, but didn't tag that it was from a couple months ago.

I texted my friend instantly, and I'm like, who has seen your Instagram story right now? Because whoever has seen your story, somebody on that list. It is who is harassing me and my online stalker, essentially. And so she was scrolling through, and out of everybody who had seen her stories,

there was two that kind of stood out to us. So one of them was a person that I used to date. And then the other was our friend, Pissedit. Oh no. Now we're getting some more, I heard.

I didn't think it was a person that I used to date because he wouldn't have had my high school

A lot of adults kind of start going off for us, where I'm like, oh gosh, this is even more

upsetting than we even thought. So we devise a plan where I said, okay, what you're going to do is you're going to post another story, and we're going to have something very specific in this photo. And I'm going to respond to him. And then then like, make him think that I'm actually starting to consider this.

“Like, oh, you've formed me down. I just need to know that you are who I think you are”

because I'm not comfortable sending this to stranger, yeah, yeah. And then we decide that she's going to post the story and she's literally going to only allow him to be the one with access to that story. Ooh. We're going to change up settings.

And then I'm going to try to bait him, essentially, to referencing. They need you at quannico. This is really training FBI agents. Yeah, I'd be willing, post a picture of us like choosing an espresso martini. So I start responding and I'm like, well, I could use the money.

I just am really not comfortable sending pictures to strangers. And keep in mind, I'm sitting at the dinner table with my mom and dad. Yeah, this is wild. It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm going to figure this out. So then I am like, I think I might have figured out who you are.

And I'm playing with that. I just need to know that you're going to keep this secret. So then he goes, those espresso martinis should really loosen you up for these photos I have in mind. And then I'm like, bam, it's got you. Yeah.

Really good. Oh, you said a trap, but now he's in it. I am immediately sending back a type. And I'm like, I've got you mother fucker. You did it.

I did. Yeah, yeah. I know exactly who you are. And I could ruin your entire life. If you ever contact me again, I will not hesitate to do it.

And his only response was, okay, oh, boy, how good a friend will you. So this is where things got a little bit dicey. We were really close. The person who was stalking me, I have known since I was a kid. And he actually married at the time.

I'm sure he was one of my best friends. They were high school sweethearts. They got married and they had the son. I mean, already, obviously the whole situation was dicey. But at that point, things got a little hard because I wanted to tell our friend, my other friend, it didn't want to tell her.

Oh, this is so hard. This is not a clear cut decision now.

I don't know what the answer is, really.

Yeah. Yeah. So to this day, actually, she still doesn't know. Oh, until now. And I don't know, maybe, yeah.

We're letting the universe decide. It ended up causing some risks between me and my best friend because she was like, well, if you're going to tell her, you can't involve me in the story, which is like the whole way we figured it out. And I'm like, we can't read anything.

“I can't say that's how we figured it out because then I'm just accusing somebody for no reason.”

And it's not that it's also kind of creepy as that the friend who being a text did my high school friend is actually his sister-in-law. The one in the middle-- Oh, why? Oh, no.

He's only shopping in his immediate circle. He's only going to be my sister-in-law's hot. My wife's best friend is hot. More than I wonder if the wife of this person's going to hear this, I'm more wonder if five other girls are going to go.

Oh, yeah, he did that to me. Yeah, he probably did. I wonder how many people he was doing this, too. That's what I was wondering, too, because I had thought, I don't want him doing this to other people.

But yeah, we ended up deciding when we were going to tell him her and then this day that somebody was arranged to meet with her and tell her, she announced that she was having another baby. Oh, do you tell your husband? Oh, I did.

He was really angry. My husband is like a very gentle loving person.

Like he's never been in a fight.

I had blocked this person on social media on number everything. And then my husband had ended up posting a picture of me on his social media, because my husband forgot to block him on all his stuff. So then this person went and was liking photos of me. And my husband sent it in my message and she said,

"Leave us up, fuck alone. Like if you ever go near her, I will kick your ass, essentially."

“So, wait, so did you have to see him again in person?”

I've been able to avoid him. I feel a little guilty, because I haven't really seen my friend since then, because I didn't know how to look her in the face after that. So we text and luckily, like everyone was busy with kids and life. So we had already kind of grown apart a little bit.

But there is like weird things like she had given us some stuff for my son when he was born. She had her husband drop the stuff off on her porch. So I was in the house and then our barbo camera went off.

And I'm like, "Hey, leave me alone.

Like you know where I live." It was just a really crazy scenario.

“So that's the story of my friend's husband.”

It was my stalker. Well, wow, my God. Yeah, that was really good. They say it's generally people you know, right? All abuse, right?

It's generally people you know. Thank you for telling us. Yeah, big time. Thank you for having me. So nice meeting you.

All right. Have a great day. Bye. Hi, how are you? I'm good.

I'm so excited to talk to you guys.

Is this Christina? Yes. And do you have a nickname?

“We pretty much answer to any version of Christina and Christy.”

Chris. Thank you, right? And where are you at? I am right outside one of your favorite cities, Austin, Texas. In New Bromful.

Close, Georgetown. How long have you been there? Actually, we just moved down here from the place that my story actually takes place in Dallas. Oh, Dallas, okay. My story takes place in Dallas back in 2000.

I had recently moved out there with my college roommate to start our careers and her name is Sarah. So we had a two bedroom apartment there and our apartment was in the back of the complex. So all the buildings along the back of the complex backed up to a highway. So there was a probably, I'd say, 40 foot cement wall, not too far from our back patio,

a bar apartment pretty secluded, which was nice because we did like to go on our back patio for smoke breaks back then. Of course. We were starting our careers. We'd work, come home, make dinner, watch TV together.

“So one random, I think it was a Tuesday evening.”

We were watching TV together in our living room. And we had two couches that were parallel to each other. So she would usually lay out one couch. I'd lay on the other. We'd watch TV and kind of talk it back and forth.

And I look over to Sarah to tell her something. And when I look over, I see a man standing on our back patio with space pressed up against our slightly more storm. Oh, okay. And now so his hands are kind of cut over his eyes. He has a hat on that he has pushed up so he can really get in there and look, I guess.

I'm sure you guys are familiar with the sliding glass doors that there's those vertical blinds that hang down. So I can see him, but he can't necessarily see me the way that the blinds are. So I kind of sit back and I look at Sarah and she can see the look of my face and I just say, do not move. There's a guy staring into our room right now, standing in the back pit.

She's just kind of frozen. By the time I look at her to say that and look back up, he's gone. So then I start freaking out. Oh my gosh, he's not there. She flips over the back of the couch. Goes, locks the patio door, which wasn't locked because we went out there.

First one breaks all the time. So easy access to get out there.

So she locks the door, we close the blinds, we don't see him anywhere out there. We call the police. Good girls. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot of these stories, most of them, the cops entered the story way later than you do. Yeah, once things have, well, don't give me too much credit yet. Oh, yes.

Did you have a misstep later on? Oh, yes. But for this part, we do end up calling the police and they come out. There's not a whole lot of information. I can give them. I had a brief glance. Couldn't really see his face because his hands are kind of covering him.

I could tell it was a white male. Look like maybe a slender build. But we didn't know her color eye color. He had the hat on. They checked the area, searched all over the complex. Didn't see any signs of them. So they just took the report, told us the usual things. Stay cautious, keep your doors locked, give us a call if you see anything suspicious.

I do want to just make one good faith argument, which is it's also possible that the dudes visiting friends. He stepped out there patio. He smoke and say, "Are he's walking around? He's trying to get back to the right apartment." And he looked in the sea if it says, "Frank, I mean, there is a conceivable non-threatening version of this. You might be able to talk yourself into."

We did go through that thought process. Maybe he was walking his dog. We did kind of have that moment of, you know, maybe this is a benign situation. And he's lost. We were, like, worse case. Maybe it is kind of a weird peeping tall and isolated incident. And didn't see much any when about his day. So we decide just to be safe instead of taking our smoke breaks on that back patio,

The front of our apartment faced the parking lot. So more traffic, pedestrian, and vehicles

“driving by. So we felt that was the better scenario there. So we did that.”

You know, I would go out there by myself sometimes. Sometimes we would go out there together. That was probably the big change that we made. But otherwise we kind of just went back to our lives. Really nothing suspicious. A week goes by. Nothing. We're excited because actually my roommate

has a first date with somebody earlier that week. So that kind of takes over and we're really excited

about that. So yeah, the day of her first date comes up. It's I think maybe a third day. So it's been maybe eight, nine days since the original incident. And her date comes to pick her up. I meet him. We all chat. I send them all their way and lock the door behind them. And I just kind of sell in for the night. I go make myself dinner, watch TV, and as usual, it's about that time for my smoke break. So I got my stuff head to the front door like I had that whole week prior. I go to turn the dead

bowl. And I've almost completely turned it and unlocked it. And this overwhelming urge comes over me

“to look through the people. It's just this voice that's telling me, now this time you need to check the”

people. So I do that. And as I'm turning the deadbolt, I check the people. And on the other side of the door

is a guy reaching out to grab the handle. So I immediately reverse the deadbolt. Yeah. And take off and go run to my bedroom. Back in the days, there's no cell phone or at least for me. I had a courted landline. This is the part I am embarrassed to admit, especially as the mother of two girls. I start to hesitate with her as she called the police. And I overreacting to your point, Max. Maybe this is just the neighbor

coming by to say hi randomly. You don't want to be a bother. You also don't want it to be that. You don't want it to be something really bad is happening. Yeah, I think that is a lot of the two. And I'm an eldest daughter, right? We're programmed not to inconvenience. So it's really like, do you ever really need a bother the police about this? All these things are going through my mind. So what I decided to do is call my boyfriend, who is in New York City.

Work out at the top. She'll be very helpful. Pretty quickly into that conversation. He tells me I need to hang up and call the police. Okay, good, good, yeah, yeah. So I hang up with him. And when I do that, I hear the front door handle chiggling. Oh boy. So now there's a big sense of urgency. I need to one get the police out here and two, I need to hide. And I'm attached to this landline. So I'm trying to hide behind a door with this landline. So I jump behind my bathroom door.

It's a on sweet bathroom. I get back there. And then all of a sudden, I hear the front door. Let's open. No, no, no. However, my roommate starts screaming my name when that happens.

“So I hear her screaming. Christina, where are you? Where are you?”

And I just felt such a sense of relief. I run out there. We're running towards each other. We hug each other. We're both screaming. I'm screaming at her. Oh my gosh. I think that guy came back. I think he tried to break in. And I stopped long enough to hear her her screaming. We pulled up and the headlight shined. And there was a guy hiding in the bushings. Just outside the front door. And my date started chasing after him. There we go. Welcome to Texas.

So we're just hysterical together hugging each other. Had you already connected with the police department at that point? I had not. So we do that very quickly. We call the police. And they send somebody out pretty quickly. I'd say it was probably less than five minutes. We tell him what happened. And they take off. Trying to find now this guy and her date that's chasing after him. See if they can catch him.

So while they're doing that, another police car shows up. And there's two of us ers in this car. And they seem to be maybe a little higher ranking. They have some notebooks that the other officers didn't have. We're talking to them. In the meantime, her date and the

other officers return. They could not catch him. No second date for him. He tried and not only failed.

That was the test. They decided to take our statements. This time I have a better description

shaved head. He had sorry dax tattoos along his line of awkward group. It was you.

“I just want to smoke a cigarette together. Gee. I just want to see you be at a lighter.”

I will say he was not very imposing and stature. Maybe five, eight, five, nine. The police officers that I'm telling the description to give each other a look. And it's one of those. They look briefly at each other and keep writing. They know it's Kyle. They know it's somebody. So I look at them and I go, no, no, no, no. I need to know what was that. And they proceed to tell us that the description we're giving matches, the description of the guy. They've been looking for

that it's actually salted two women. Oh, okay. They proceed to tell us that from what they know from those two instances, he watches his victims for several days, learns their schedules, learns when they're by themselves. Oh, I'm going to do this vulnerable. And he typically waits

“for them to either be entering or exiting the apartments and forces his way. Oh, my God, you look”

through the people. Of course, we're officially disturbed at this point. We give the statement, of course, they leave their card. Let us know to reach out to them. The next day, we call the apartment complex,

tell them they need to move us to a second floor apartment immediately with more visibility.

My roommate, Stad, who there about 30 minutes away, he drove in that night and slept on our couch with a shot guy. Oh, unfortunately, we don't know if they ever caught him or not. We did see a sketch of him on the police department website wanted for violent sexual assault. And it just really made me realize how close I came to a very scary situation. Oh, my God. Wow, wow. Can I ask a personal question? Well, I'll ask it and you can decide whether or not to answer it. Okay.

“Who's one of your parents real material? No, this is serially. Like I said, I'm the eldest daughter,”

so there's a lot of things that I'm attuned about. I was going to say you're like hyper-vigilant, you're dialed into your Spidey senses. You are afraid to bother anyone. Even though that's their given role, they're there to be bothered. It is hard program to pressure. I'm not saying what your situation is, but it is weird when these things that you wouldn't have chosen end up saving your life down the road or they end up benefiting you in these weird situations.

It's hard to know what programming has been official long term. I don't know that's where my head goes. Exactly. No, I've had those same thoughts for sure. Also, what if the date dropped off your friend and then your friend was walking up, he would have attacked her. Well, what's also interesting is he parked in a place we would normally park, but because he's not familiar with it, it just so happened he pulled in in a spot where his headlights just happened to shine on those

bushes. I mean, just so many pieces to this that the timing of everything is very fortunate for me. But also terrifying. Did it scar you for life or no? Maybe there's a little bit that's like, okay, I survived that. It trusts my instincts. They're pretty spot on. So maybe a little more the other way. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I would say your odds of an event like this happening again are exceedingly low. They're already low and then happened to use exactly. I'm going to knock

over. Everyone's everyone's knocking up. Everyone in your car knock on wood. It finds some wood. It can be plastic wood. It's a thought that counts. Well, thank you for telling us that. Yeah. Absolutely. So real quick, can I give one shout out? I would be remiss if I didn't

to my roommate Sarah in this situation. We're still very dear friend. And she is an amazing

single mother of two very active twin teenagers. Whoa. And I'm just endlessly impressed by her. As a mother, as a career woman, all those things. So I just want to get some shout out. Absolutely. Love that. All right. Yeah. Have a good day. Hi, guys. Hello. Hello. Where are you? I'm in the Okanagan in Vernon, BC. Is that like a state parky area? Or what is that? It's like our wine country. We call it Napa of the North. It's beautiful here. Wonderful. Okay. So does yours stocking story take

place up there or elsewhere? I am from southwestern Ontario. And this stocking story actually happened in Windsor. In Windsor, Ding Ding Ding Monica, that's directly on the other side of the

and there's casinos. So Americans go over there and get too drunk and are a problem for the

“fine folks of Windsor. Okay. One of those strip clubs is actually part of the story. Oh my god. Wonderful.”

Okay. Let us have it. My stalker was actually my ex-boyfriend. But to set the scene, I kind of have to give a little bit of backstory about how that happened. So the story started in 1997. I was 16 years old and he was so charismatic. Everybody loved this guy. He was so funny. He could make a rock cry laughing. He was the life of the party. And everybody wanted his attention, but he chose me.

So I was like, oh hello. Although I was young, it was my second kind of like serious

issue relationship. And I was definitely very much into boys. And so went hard. And then the control started tapping. You know, like he would clock my mileage. He would call everywhere I was supposed to be. If I was at work, he would call to make sure I was there. If I was at a front so he would call to make sure that I was there. Well, there's the most unattractive behavior. I didn't know what

“gaslighting was in the 90s. And so I just was like, no, no, like you can trust me. I'm not lying.”

And so I just really played into it. It got bad pretty quickly. But I was fully in. And so the alienation started from friends and family. And then by 98. Was he older than you? Just a year. So I moved to Windsor, Ontario, with him, which is about an hour ish away from my hometown. We moved in with some of his relatives. And I have like a moderate Lehigh A score. But substance abuse in my home was not one of them. And these adults were actual 90s rock smoking crickets. You might have met

Aaron Weekly in that scenario. I could have. By the time we moved to Windsor, the abuse really ramped up. And at this point, like I was away from all of my friends. I was away from all my family. There were

always signs that he was beating the crap out of me. And so I didn't want to be around my family.

And I was always in like a car accident. I was not a bad driver. I was not to put that out there. But I felt so isolated and so alone and so full of shame, which is ridiculous. Because I didn't do anything wrong. Was he an addict? Was he partaking? Oh yeah. He took things to an extreme. He took everything to an extreme. And by the fall of 99, I got pregnant. And obviously take responsibility for that too. But like I think there might have been some sabotage happening because I definitely was trying not to be pregnant.

And by New Year's Eve of 99, we got in a huge fight and we broke up and he left and he went back to our hometown. And I was alone for two weeks. I mean, I still lived with his relatives. But things were starting to like, okay, I'm going to be okay. At this point, I started looking into like adoption because I just thought I can't be tied to this person for the rest of my life. Is it fair to guess that your own perspective starts returning in his absence? Like when you're with

someone that controlling and gaslighty, you have a very warped reality of what's real. And then in his absence, reality returns. Yeah. Like you can start to breathe. And things started to feel good. I was looking for an apartment. I was going to get a new job because I worked with one of these relatives.

Everything was just so controlled. And so I was finally going to do stuff on my own. And then he

came home mid January one day. And everything was great. We were having great conversation. He seemed really positive, almost looking back a bit monarchy. But we're making dinner. And we bring it into my room. And I'm sitting down on my floor bed. The next thing I know, I woke up in an ambulance, being told that I was losing the baby. And that I was pretty banged up. And I was going to have surgery. But then I was safe. And then everything was going to be okay. And so I was in the hospital for

a week. And the worst part of it was that my parents then found out because obviously they got called well, worst part and best part probably. Yes. But just to look up my dad's face when he walked in the hospital. It breaks my heart. I know all of us kids feel the shame with our parents.

“But now that I'm a parent, the notion that there would be anything you should be ashamed of.”

I know, but it's just like impossible to understand that. But I just know there's no version of any state I could find my children. And I think they deserve to feel shame. I am also a parent now and there's nothing. I can't imagine my kids hiding it from me first of all. But just to find out that this has been going on for so long. I'll catch up on. Yeah. So I was released from the hospital after about a week. But I went back to my mom's for another about two weeks just to like heal and

sort things out because I knew I couldn't go back to that relative's house other than to grab the rest of my stuff. Was he arrested? No, because I refused to press charges. You should have just been arrested anyway. Like the cops should have just kind of taken over. There was a few ER visits

were some polarites taken and like, oh no, it was just a car accident. Okay, I'm just going to

get out of here. They knew exactly what was going on. But I refused to even admit it. So I got some papers before I went back to my mom's place and I found myself an apartment. It was a shitty little basement apartment. And it was perfect because it was all mine. So I went to go get all my stuff.

“And I may have shredded all of his important documentation on the way out the door. But you know,”

think it was well deserved. So I'm in this apartment and I got a new job at a strip club around the corner from my house. And I was serving. And at the time, it was like a dollar 60 Canadian for $1 American. I was making bike. I was almost 19 years old. I was hot. I was single. I had a newfound, no fucks given attitude. And I was making up for a lot of lost time. It was pretty fantastic. But this apartment was pretty shitty. Like the windows were these little like ship windows.

If there was a fire, get out your roasting sticks. Like we're going up. But I didn't even care. So I get to making up for last time. And very quickly, he starts coming into the bar. And he's trying to kind of like assert a little bit of dominance. Like he owns me. And so I put a stop to that right away. And the bouncers were very kind. Also, I didn't want to let anybody know

“what had just happened. I didn't want anybody to see me as that person. And so it was like,”

oh, we dated and like he's just bothering me. They got rid of him. He wasn't allowed to come in any more. But then he's waiting outside when I'm done work. And just very quickly, everywhere I am, he's there. I walked everywhere at the time. I didn't have a car. I would be walking down the street.

And I would get that feeling like the air just gets lost for a second. And I would look around and

he's like dipping into a vestibule. Or he's jumping into a bush. Or he's trying to hide. Like, he knows that I see him. But it didn't feel scary yet. I would get on the bus. And he we got on the bus at the next stop. And just be on the other side of the bus. His energy really felt as if he was just going to be around and close by until I came to my senses and took him back. This was early 2000. I didn't have a cell phone. I had a pager and a home phone. He couldn't

just check my location. Like, how did this man know where I was at all times? But one night after the bar, we were at Tim Horton's very Canadian. He cornered me in a bathroom. And he decided that he was going to get what was rightfully his. It was the first time I ever actually thought back. And I

got myself out of the bathroom and I made it very clear that he was never going to get this again.

And that is when the energy really shifted. And it felt like he was showing up even more. But I saw him less. It took a turn to feeling a bit more dark and unstable. Well, let's just state it. It may be feels like if he can't have you now, he's going to kill you. Yeah, at my apartment, there's like these tiny little windows at the top of the ceiling. And so you can kind of see one feet walk by the only reason anyone be walking by was to go into my apartment.

And I got a motion sensor light installed. And I would come home and the bulb would be unscrewed. And at the same time, I really wasn't taking great care of myself. I was drinking a ton, whatever drugs were on offer. And so there was a good week, maybe 10 days, where I was just feeling really not great. But pushing through. And then I woke up and day and it went from bad to worse. I was so sick. I thought I had the flu. And at the time it was like, I'd rather die in a ditch than

ask somebody for help. So there's about three days of feeling like I'm actually going to die. And I was laying on my futon in the living room. And I'm like, I need some water. And I go to get up.

“And then I remember opening my eyes and do this above me upside down holding my face and like”

slapping my cheeks. And he has scared me before. But like the level of terror that I felt in that moment, I didn't know what happened. I was confused. I was delirious. Like, did he do this? And is he going to kill me? And he calls a cab. He picks me up. He brings me outside to a cab. I don't remember him telling me where he was taking me. I was so weak. I probably couldn't even ask anyway. And then we pull up to the hospital. The same fucking hospital that he had put me in, not even five months earlier.

A lot of it is a little bit blurry. I was going to ask for confirmation, but immediate action was taken at the hospital. And then a little while later, the doctor tells me that my kidneys were actively shutting down. He said if I hadn't gotten there in the next 12 hours that I likely would have been on dialysis for the rest of my life. Oh, my God. So he was peering in my fucking window and saw me pass out, came into my apartment and got me to the hospital. Dude, you're a

attacker, saved you. This is so complicated. And we were still pretty fresh out from all of it.

he beat the shit out of me. But when it was good, it was great. I now understand you can't really

“get those like really high highs without some of a really low lows. And it was so confusing.”

So I was in the hospital for 18 hours. And then they let me go home and get home health care to come in a few days a day at my mom's house to get like the IV antibiotics to get better from

the kidney infections. So he stayed with me for the entire 18 hours. He was so loving. He didn't sleep.

He barely ate. He took such good care of me. He advocated for me with the doctors. It was so good.

“And it felt really comforting. Like, I felt so taken care of by him. And it was so confusing”

because he practically took my life, not five months ago. And we are getting ready to leave. And I'm getting ready to go back to my mom's to like heal and get the rest of these antibiotics. And he really thought that we were going to leave the hospital and ride off in the sunset together. And we were just going to pick up right where we left off. And I had to have like a come to Jesus moment with him and explain thank you. I genuinely appreciate what you just did for me.

“And I forgive you for everything that you did in the past. But I can never forget it.”

And so I told him for that reason and that reason alone. We will never be together again. And

he finally listened. It is the very last day that I look that man in the eyes. I have never seen

him in person again. Wow. Well, good. Maybe he locked into something different. Yeah, that's that's wild. Yeah. But the story doesn't have happy ending because life is really good. And shortly after that, I met my best friend Aaron Weekly. She's the reason that we moved to VC here. And I met my husband two weeks later. We've been together for 23 years. Oh, wow. Wonderful. Oh, a Chloe. So nice to meet you. Have a great summer. You as well. Bye! Talking is bad. It is. The hardest part is like you

trying to determine both for the victim and the police they get called like, is it a peeping Tom? That's terrible. But that's one thing. Yeah. Is it something much darker? There's levels of severity and it's. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Well. All right. Don't get stuck. Don't stop. Yeah. Don't stop. All right. Love you. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We're going to have a look and some for this new show. So here I go, go, go. We're going to add some random questions in the

show. I'm a fire Ryan Bush. I'm a fire Ryan. This new joy.