Jackie Tohn Returns

I'm Dax Shepherd, I'm joined by Lily Badman.

- Hi. - Hi, we have a friend in today. - Our friend is here. - She's returning. - Yes.

- Returning guest, Jackie Tone. Jackie Tone is an actor and a musician. Nobody wants this. Glow, the boys, Gen V.

“What do you even talk about the boys with her?”

I love seeing her on the boys, 'cause I'm obsessed with the boys that you get she's on it. Yes, so she pops up and it's a pop out, and I love it. - On the pop out, it's a fun.

- Yeah, and she's here today, and she's telling a very, very personal story that she's gone through. Simultaneously to all this wonderful stuff, and it's a heroin tale.

Please enjoy Jackie Tone. (upbeat rock music) - It's not that scary. - It's so scary. - Hi.

- How are you? - Hi, sir. Is that new shirt? - It's an old shirt. - Oh my God, it's a new old shirt.

- It fits the new old shirt. - It's explicitly not a new shirt. - No. - But it's new to me. - That's right.

- Do you have a new shirt? - I do have a new shirt.

- You always have a new shirt.

- I need a new shirt. - And you guys have various similar shirts. - I know it's a very similar costume today. - I don't know if I didn't have a bra under mine, and then I thought we were talking about

the new yetters, but you actually have a bra. - Well, or maybe you should it. - You know what I mean?

“- I don't feel like you should have gone wrong.”

- I've got a bra. - I don't know. - There's still time in the middle, feel free. - Never know, although it is like yours, it's almost exact same material.

It is see-through. - You will see to it. - Oh great. - It's not just like if I wore that shirt, you'd see the nips.

- Well, we want these numbers. - We want to see people, but you know, we want to see the bra. - I have to apologize guys. I made a huge mistake.

- No, I'm not coming here. - I'm coming here. - What's funny is there was a half moment where you were saying we have the same, and you were about to see material.

- Tamanika. - Yeah. - But I was like, hold on. What is she about to say? We have the same breasts.

- No? - No. - But I was wondering if that's where it was going. - No. - Well, here is a bit of a size, or we do,

we double-dead double-dead. - We double-dead. - We double-dead. - We double-dead. - Yeah.

- We double-dead. - We double-dead. - Yeah, we double-dead. - Yeah, we double-dead. - But now there are B. - We went home. - There's smaller. - Okay.

- You have 32 D. We've known each other for years. - We had big, yeah. - 18 years. - I will say, I'm extremely wanna cry. I feel excited at the same time.

- Oh, what? - 18 years? - Yeah, I don't know what we're talking about. - Yeah, yeah. - Not a real number. - I'm 17, so having known someone 18,

just the math sort of doesn't. - Yeah. - But the identities were from here. - Okay.

“- From the side of your case. - I think you're happy to talk.”

- For the listener. - Actually. - Oh, recording? - Oh, yes. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, my love. (laughing) - So my T.D. used to go from under my arm into here.

And so in order for underwire, not to dig into me, it had to be a desize underwire. So it was a big, and then when I was getting my reconstruction, the doctor was like, if we went with your same width, your tits, your implants would be enormous.

- Really? - Because my, because it started to show fire. - Yeah, literally, it was under my arm to here. And so I had these like nice wide, and they were perky forever.

- Yeah. - Oh, do you think the width has to do with the perkyness? - I do because there's so much, it's not like a little bit of a tiny bit. - There's so much lateral support.

- Yes, you've the lateral support. You've the whole ribbed, you've sort of getting behind you. This is science. - Counter-theory. - Please. - Just you look at people.

If they look, I'm on a good face. It's like, okay, I want to hear how it's going to be. - To the side, Jackie, just showed us.

- First of all, you guys are probably right.

So I'm not saying that this would invalidate that theory. It's just, you see humans, we come in a lot of variety. And there's just taught skin and loose skin. I've been fortunate enough to be with enough nude ladies. I've seen a lot of different body types.

- I see. - And I'm wondering. - I wonder if it's just like an elasticity in your skin and you have a lot of where you don't. - I don't know the answer.

And I don't think that that's invalidating what we're saying and maybe some combination. - Well, I will also say, of course, I already knew. I was like, I'm gonna come on this podcast and say too much 'cause these are my people.

But the doctor said to me, she was like, "Well, the good news is you're in your 40s. You'll get a little lift. They'll be perky for the rest of your life." And then I took my shirt off.

And she was like, "Okay, so not as much for you." - We're not gonna get as much vertical lift. - That's just a huge compliment. - Yeah. - But she was like, "She thought I had a droop to the floor."

And I was like, "No, the girls have stayed put. God bless them." - I know. - There's a lot of things genetically I was not gifted with.

- I don't like your work. - Yeah, I like it. - Yeah, you're very attractive. You're very witty, you're very fast. It's a good boy, since, in fact,

as we make this list, it's almost hard to feel back

- Well, that's true.

It feels like you kinda tricked us,

and they give you a lot of top focus. - Okay, I did. And we're staring into each other's eyes and I'll have another one. I'm gonna put my lip on.

- Okay, put your lip on. - Okay, put your lip on. - Do you love physics? - Uh-huh, I do. - So much.

- Yeah, I'm a physics nerd. - You're a nerd. - It looks really nice.

“I think Jackie's theory really makes sense.”

I believe it 'cause mine all so wide. - I believe it. - I remember doing a play years ago, and you know like, you don't know what your friends, I mean you have an idea what your friends' tips look like,

but you really don't know. - No. - Yes, and then I did a play and all the girls backstage were like, "I can't believe those are your tips."

I hope people were really toughy. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. And in my 20s, like, oh, and then I saw everyone else's,

and they were gorgeous to me, but definitely shaped differently than my personal yidders. - Is it so stressful or body parts?

Like, at first year girl and you're like,

"I must and must and I must increase my bus." You want knockers. But now, how boy and are the knockers? What are they, are you all as sizes? How long are they gonna, like,

- There's a round belly banana. - There's a round belly banana. - How misshapin' are they? They're all gonna be a little asymmetrical. - Yes.

- Yeah, those are greats. We call them ski slopes or bananas. It's great. It's where the breast kinda just naturally comes up at the end. - Yep.

- That's fun. - That's exciting. - It's a really exciting, yeah. - Yeah, a lot of guys I know. - Oh.

- Cove it ski slopes. - I don't even know why ski slopes works 'cause if you think about a ski slope just tap. - It should be ski jump. - Yeah.

- Yeah, down how long jump.

- Of course.

“- I think the catch way to call it is a downhill long jump.”

- Oh, well, don't you want to do that. - Because you don't go long jump from there. - Yeah. - Don't go long jump from there. - Don't go long jump from there.

- Don't go long jump from there. - But the amount of stress we all have over our body parts. 'Cause it's like, you have a penis. Of course, as a boy you want the biggest one among your friends. Immediately you understand that's the goal.

No one sits you down and tells you that. - Yeah. - Those penises come out and everyone's like, most drawn like backstage at your play. All eyes go to the biggest penis.

- And it's like, oh. - Guys are pumped. - Right. - You do this, you know. - And then you have the shape of your erection.

That's its own. - It's own thing. - It's own journey. - Also balls. - Oh my god, I remember when I was a teenager,

I had a friend with like enormous balls. - Oh, yeah. - And his name was Brandon and he showed everybody all the time.

“We looked back and obviously I think this would all be very not okay.”

- Yeah, yeah. - But it was like, it's like someone to be like, yo, you got to show everybody your balls. And he would just open up his zipper and take him out of his zipper and put him in his hand.

He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good.

- He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good.

- He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good.

- He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good.

- He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good.

- He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good. - He was good.

- He was good. The gorilla, which is enormous, can't even find them. They're two little peas. Because he's not competing with any other match. He's in charge. He has access to the females. And so that predicts the balls is how much competition there is. So do you think in some primitive level when you see those? Well, this is what we were hoping as guys, but I'm learning now is not the case. You would see those enormous plums and go like, well, there's a fit. There's a lot of babies in there. You know what though? This seeming could be fragmented, right? Even croquet could it just be all?

But we croquet come. Yeah, croquet come. Yeah, it's a good show. Completely that way. That's so exciting. Direct straight to your asshole. He's in you. Yet you're like, "Gonna get my hair." Get my hair. Get my hair. Oh my god. This episode is a mess, but on the flip side, to tiny pea-sized balls then, like the gorillas also then kind of is high status. It's like, my balls are so small. I get the pick. Where I don't have that you need. These guys are all shooting it out, like the old west from the hill. You can search for a spray spray spray spray.

They have to. Well, I covet that guy's balls. What was they branded? Branden's. Yeah, I wonder how they've held up. I would say they're probably like, don't you feel the similar to Tito? No, similar to Tito. I feel like he's got that weight on that scroll, and it's got to be pulling them back on. And the scroll's so interesting because it scrolls all over the place. It decides how long it wants to be, whatever the temperature is. So you don't even know if you have perky or saggy balls. It's like, "Ask me the temp." Yeah, the temp. I wear it in my Colorado or my feet.

Am I in Hawaii? Truly. They're long. I'm telling hippos, I guess. They change. But isn't it sad? I feel bad for all of us. The stress over your area was in the purking is in the size. And you even said, "Deacup thing, but maybe you're." And my whole life, people were like, "There's no way you're a D. I'm like, "Check my brought tag. I don't know what to tell you."

Yeah, sure, sure. It's so much the front fabric is like a sale. It's just like the same fabric. Yeah, exactly. You have a broken back in your brawl. Sure. Oh, like a very pop-in stitch. We were fast-forwarding. So let's catch up because that actually was one of my questions. And you've kind of already answered it. But, "Alas, tell us how you even discovered that you had the brach of cheese. Yeah, B.R.C.A." Not everyone wants.

Okay, my friends. Thanks to you both.

“And I think, while we can start recording now, I'm going to go ahead and just turn the--”

Hit the record button. And the button that records and go ahead and start that now. And then I start acting totally different. Yeah, different. Well, thank you guys so much for having me here today. You know, I think it's really-- Important that I spread this message of healing and journeying in my health. That too. And why is Assyria? Let's start with your parents.

Okay. That seems like the appropriate phrase to start. We've had you many times, and I'm sure we covered them a little bit, but both physical ad teachers. Yes, in Long Island. They were teaching in Brokeland. They were teaching in Brooklyn, but I grew up on Long Island, so my parents are the best. And unlike so many Jewish families, cancer wasn't in the genes. We didn't think. Heart disease. We've talked about the star of dads.

Heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure. I mean, now I have a traumatic condition. Oh, please. It's an absolutely psycho condition.

And so last year, my dad found these lumps under his arm, which my mom, for the first few months, only called nodules.

I think Jews have an aversion to saying the thing with the scary name. She was just like, and so daddy has these daddy factors. Your father's nodules are back. We got to call this morning. Who was it? Your father's nodules?

Your father's nodules. They called on the phone. So my dad found these bumps under his arm. And then by the time they were like, let's just get him out and we'll buy obviously them. It turned out they were metastatic carcinomas.

And we were like, what? Oh, yeah. Okay.

“Metastatic means the cancer's traveled away from the original site of origin, right?”

And what's crazy is to this day, they cannot find the original site of origin. So he's some medical enigma where he has metastatic carcinomas that they do not know where they metastasized from. Oh, I love medical marks. Why don't they think it's just breast cancer? They kind of do now.

They kind of do now. But also if it's breast cancer, then they're not metastatic. So that must look different or something. I don't know. Can I had a weird interesting thing?

You better. We talked to someone recently about extra nipples. And what we found out is that when people have those extra nipples, they often grow in the armpit. They're not like on your pack or your breast. They're generally in your armpit upper arm.

This person lives here. They live on the back of the breast tissue. Yeah. It's just like additional breast tissue. Exactly.

And they lactate. Yeah, that's where the nipples grew in their functional. They're functional. Yeah. So anyway, so he finds this out.

They can't figure out where the primary cancer is. And so he does this panel of genetic testing. Because if he's positive for this, it more likely would be pancreatic. If he's positive for this, it more likely would be colon.

And he came back as broke a positive. BRCA1 positive. Tell us what that is. BRCA1 is a genetic mutation. And you are positive.

“So I believe everybody has the BRCA1 gene.”

Okay. I'm positive for a mutation. God. Of the BRCA1 gene that then, unfortunately, gives you a very high predetermination, very high chance of getting BRCA1 for women, breast and ovarian cancer.

My dad tests positive. They say to him, tell your kids to get tested.

Because if you have a daughter, that's really where the problem is.

Men often, it doesn't even materialize. Really? There's an increased chance. But we don't have ovaries or breasts. Correct.

Except for your father, we might have accident. Right. And he didn't get his nodules removed. He did. Then he was funny.

Well, then he did radiation. I have the little video of him ringing the bell. And so he was like, they did a full cat scan, pet scan. All the scans cancer free. And yet it metastasized from somewhere strange.

I get tested. I'm brought the positive. And then I'm like, all right, I don't Google. I'm not Googling. I don't have a contract.

I'm a neurotic.

Yeah, let's pause for half a second.

Because, yeah, we need to know your disposition a little bit. We, you know this famous story. Monica and I were watching Kristen read her results from her 23m. She misread it. But she truly believe this.

She's like, oh, I have early onset Alzheimer's thing. Okay. And then oh, I have the broccagene. And then oh, yeah, mostly Polish. There was another one too.

She just rattled off. Yeah, the one, you don't want to take the task.

I'll set Alzheimer's. Oh, I have Braca. Oh, I have Pauzy. Yeah. And then next thing.

And then, oh, man, I do that cilantro thing. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We've never seen anyone take news like this in our lives this day.

She was non-plus. She really broke up. No, no, she misread her thing. But she sincerely. Thought she was.

Yeah. And we got to see the real reaction. We were like, oh, my God. We're kind of crazy. We're going to lose you in 18 months.

Yeah. Parkinson's Alzheimer's.

“And that's what we're in a couple months.”

Yes, let's start planning. Oh, my God. It's gross. Girl, come in here. I said her is like the far end of a spectra.

Yes. Right. Who were you at on that spectra? Well, I very proud of myself. Because I realized as I think a lot of us do,

when you are imagining something happening to you, you can catastrophize. You can have anxiety about it. You can be hysterical crying about it. And then the thing happens to you.

And I was a machine. Yeah. And I was supposed to go to England, Ireland, and Scotland last summer. And we canceled the trip.

And I went on a tour of Los Angeles meeting the doctors that this oncologist told me I would need. I say that it's like someone hitting you a nail and being like, build the house. And you're like, who?

Oh, and yeah. Where is the plot of land? Where is the, where is the, how? Yeah.

So that's basically what happened.

Yeah. You are a rock-a-positive. I found out good luck. And then a couple days later, the doctor's office calls to schedule a surgery.

And like, what surgery? I just have this gene. Right. My dad got the nodules. My dad got the medicine.

Of course, an almost removed, like, what surgery? Then I start really crying. Right. And then I find out that I need a gynecological oncologist, which is not a combination of terms.

I'm interested in. Right. Yeah. A regular oncologist to holistically look at the whole thing. A breast surgeon, a breast plastic surgeon, because those are two completely different jobs.

The person that removes the tissue and the person that does the reconstruction. Do they leave you open while they just clock in? It's like tag team wrestling. He's like tag team wrestling. I just don't want them opening you up twice.

This is a very interesting thing that I actually am excited to talk about, which is you can do the surgery two different ways. Then the fifth doctor, because of course, there's more than four, the fifth doctor is a genetic counselor. And it was the genetic counselor, this red woman at Providence, who she looked at all my genetics and everything that they tested for.

And she was who deemed that I had an 85% chance of breast cancer and a 65% chance of ovarian cancer. Some doing the ovaries soon, but I haven't done them yet.

And I did the boobs first.

Top down. Top down. Yeah.

“That's why they called me convertible on high school.”

You didn't know why I told that. I knew this time would come. Wait. That was good. That was really good.

You're a good doctor. I love it. I love it. It's just genetics. So then I get these numbers.

And now, well, now I understand why the doctor's office called and said, "When do you want to schedule your surgery?" Your girl has a hundred fucking percentage hit. Yeah. I think time.

I get chills every time. And I start to sweat. 85%. E. It's not a great number.

Even 50/50 you go like, "All right, I got to get this done soon." 85. You're like, "But glass have full. It is a number that you can't ignore." That makes me want to cry.

That was exactly how I looked at it. Wait, repeat that. I got distracted six minutes ago with your convertible joke. It was so good. Thank you.

And I thought there was another version of it. And then I was distracted by that. I'm owning it and I apologize. I appreciate that.

“I was going to say that if they called you gas pump.”

Because you like to top off. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. Well, we got that out. We just wanted to get it.

We're not going to knock it up. A bit. You know, a bit. Well, as she left that for us. It was terrible.

Okay. No, I just said, glass have full is 85 is a number that you can't ignore. Yes. You can't just be like, "Oh, maybe I'll deal with it. Maybe not.

You're dealing with it." And that's exactly the silver lining. I looked at. Because I said with minorosis. And my mental shit.

You're giving me a number like 45. Yeah. I'm going. Oh, you could go crazy. I could do advanced screening.

Yeah. Three years. They said before we do the double mastectomy. We want to make sure you don't already have cancer. So we're going to give you an MRI.

And then I found out that they didn't like what the MRI looked like on my way to present at the creative arts at me. So I'm in the car. You shouldn't be picking up the phone. I shouldn't have been picking up the phone.

But these doctors are really hard to reach. Oh, true. Yeah. And she said she'd call either way. So I didn't think it was the thing of only calling with bad news.

Also, if I saw a missed a call, I would have so fucking preoccupied.

And she was like, I think everything's going to be okay.

But I don't know.

“And there's some suspicious cellular groupings.”

And I think we want to do another MRI. So I was scared. And then I went and presented. Did you present when you go? I think I smashed it.

It might be a psychopath. Yeah. I mean, that's my therapist. You're a departmentalizer. I mean, that's true.

The departmentalizer, though, I've realized during this journey to a point of like. So see, I'll be seeing. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm so, truly.

I have my therapist. I've been like, I don't even know looking back. How I did it. Yeah. I just did it.

I just was like, these were the doctors I'm going to. And I am a machine. And I am getting these surgeries. And I am doing this. So come back to, I get the MRI.

She doesn't like it again. And she's like, we're going to buy this. She's so fussy this. I don't like it. What do you mean?

I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Yeah. So then she doesn't like it again. And now she's like, we're going to do a biopsy. Can I ask quickly? Yes.

Why? We're getting in there and removing everything. That is a good question. Just so that we would notice our chemo as well. I think.

I think. Maybe. I actually don't know the answer.

But what I think the answer is, is that if you have cancer, a double mastectomy

is sufficient, but sometimes you can't keep your nipples depending on where the cancer is. It's right there by your nipple. You're going to lose your nipples. And if the cancer is here, they have to really focus on getting that tissue out and getting everything out.

“And also then you have to be starting with the PET scans and CAT scans seeing if it's”

anywhere else. It's okay. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah.

There's no good screening for ovaries. It doesn't exist. It's 26. And the screening does not exist. Meaning they can give you an MRI on your ovaries or no.

You can do an ultrasound to pelvic ultrasound. And they put the wand in and they do the diagnostic. The problem is you're ovaries speaking of grillables. There are these little tiny grape size things in your body. And they just don't have the advanced surveillance.

Like with breasts when you get an MRI in a biopsy, you can find out if you're growing, stage negative one. You can find out if there's a grouping of cells that they don't like, that they're going to keep an eye on. Yeah.

They're just going to get them out of there before you're even stage one. Right. Like breasts surveillance is best of the best in cancer land. I want to tell everybody about the whole journey. I want to expect because it's crazy.

And I somehow made it to my 40s without anyone talking to me about braka. I vaguely heard that it was maybe that thing that happened with Angelina Jolie. Right. But I remember thinking like, Oh, God, that's so extreme. How her.

How you like, you know what? I'm getting them taken off completely, which is what a lot of people thought was very extreme when I was doing it. Do you think the underlying current of that is like somewhere, jealousy over looks like, oh, yeah, you're so hot.

You don't even care if you cut off your boobs. Maybe. Do you think that was driving the anger? Very possible socially. But my thing was more like, you know, she wears like Billy Pompton's blood around

there. Like, she's extra edgy. I'm like, it turns out you have a hundred percent chance of getting cancer. What are you going to do? Leave them there.

Exactly. Turns out she wasn't edgy. She was super safe. Correct. She was just brilliant as she is.

So basically, when I got the MRI, then I went back for a second.

And then I had to go back for a third one. And then when I got my breast biopsied, I was just unlucky. And I was waiting in the biopsy office afterward. They numb your breast. And it was my right breast.

And so I'm sitting there. And then I feel something soaking wet at my stomach. And I look down. It is not good. I am bleeding from your from the biopsy.

Oh, my God. And they had already stitched it and closed it.

“And am I crazy in thinking that that's a very controlled procedure?”

It's done with a scope. And it seems like not something that would lead to great bleeding. That's right. And I'm out of it because I took a Xanx before the third MRI. Yeah.

Because you're in the machine for 45 minutes, claustrophobic. The crazy loud noises. You're laying on your stomach. You're tits are in like a hole in the MRI. I got a trough.

A trough. A trough. Yes. The hitters are in a trough. A trough.

And a minute hit trough, of course. The other nickname. And I'm in the tit trough. And they do the biopsy. I don't feel anything.

Everything's fine. I'm sitting in the waiting room because this is another crazy thing. They give you a mammogram. Right after you get a breast MRI with a biopsy. It seems like they're squishing at all.

We should flip that order. So I'm waiting in the room to do the mammogram. And that's when I realize. And I am like out of it. And I'm on a chill pill.

And I'm terrified. And I like an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I just like run into the hallway. And I'm screaming. I'm not screaming.

This is me.

But I'm not screaming. Yeah, yeah.

“And I'm just going like, it's her nurse.”

I'm bleeding. And a woman comes by with like a trash can. She runs over to me. And I'm like, I need a nurse. Thank you so much.

And she starts laughing a little bit. She's like, I am a nurse. These are soiled linens. I'm not a janitor. And I was like, OK.

And then she takes me into some woman's office. She was like, excuse us. The nurse and the office leaves. And she's like opening this thing. And someone has to come up from downstairs and re-stitch.

And it was like a whole guy in the office. In somebody's office. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was wild. So it just wasn't stitched correctly.

They were asking if I took like, I hadville the five days prior. Because my blood is man. And I was like, I didn't. I'm a student. Yeah.

You tell me. Don't stay atville. I won't.

Also, I'm always in salt.

And when the first line of inquiry is like, I fucked up. I didn't. I didn't sew my own vest. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't have any. He must have had aspirin for breakfast. He did it to you. You little piggy. You love your friend.

And I added milk. I added. I added cereal. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. So after that experience, even though I was already set on the surgery, I was like, well, I'm not doing more of these.

I'm not doing more of these MRIs byopsies. We think we find something. We don't find something. Those weeks where I was months.

“Because you have to wait weeks in between.”

That time of chills again was the worst time of the whole thing. Except the recovery was tough. But that time was the worst because I was like, oh, no. What I'm out here waving my flag about is I partnered with the genetic testing company, Mirriad, that discovered the rocket gene.

This company is unbelievable. And you literally spit in a tube. And it comes back. It's not even a blood test with your historical from your family, your genetic mutations, and these cancer risks. Yeah.

And you had multiple things going on, right? Because also Ashkenazi Jews are one in 40. So you had a lot of compounding. Great. You had it, right?

So this is what is nuts. So Mirriad, or any of these genetic testing companies, insurance will cover your test. If you have these three things, young, rare multiple. So if someone in your family has cancer, young, your mom or dad, you can get this covered by insurance. If there's multiple cancers, you also qualify.

And if you have a rare, like my dad, male breast cancer is considered rare. Yeah. Obviously.

First time I've ever heard of it.

Uh-huh. And there's still not even saying it. I think they're like, you know, someone that's interesting. Come on. Something like you're like, they won't say that.

They don't know a mask. They don't want to talk about it. My mother does that enough. They've rather lying. Say it's a metastasized case.

It's like not at all. A hundred percent. Sounds so manly. You can't throw it in on a heartless. Goes by the name of metastasized.

“All of this to say, there's a fourth sort of unspoken reason that you should, obviously,”

get genetic tested. Other than rare, multiple, and young is Ashkenazi Jew. Yeah. So less than, I don't want to say the exact number because I think it changes. Forgive me.

Are the Ashkenazi's mostly the Russian diaspora? Eastern European. OK. OK. And so what's crazy is don't quote me on this.

But the point is the number is unbelievably small of the number of people who test positive for the block mutation. OK. Very rare. Nobody has this.

One in 40 Jews. One in 40 Ashkenazi specifically Jews. Which is two and a half percent. I don't know if it even is. One in 40 is two and a half percent.

So if you're your national average is 0.2. This is tenfold. Yeah, ten times. That's exactly right.

I thought you were saying Ashkenazi Jews are 2.5 percent of the population.

And I was like, oh, there's about 18 of us left. Yeah. Stay tuned for more armchair experts. If you dare. We are supported by all state.

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So with myriad it's basically you spent the tube and then you send it away. And you get all these answers. And the reason that I really wish that I got miniature flags on Amazon. The reason that I'm out here waving the flags so hard is because I managed to get to this age.

How is that possible? Oh, I will tell you a couple things. The doctors that I used for double mastectomy and the reconstruction. Not only are they just such bad asses.

Amazing women because of them.

And because of these genetic counselors and this amazing team that I was able to put together. I do actually feel the gratitude. I don't feel real relief when I have my ovaries out. But all of the surgeries are behind me. And I'm good to go.

Even though I did already do the breasts. I am in between. Yeah, the two. Okay. So to make this trivial and not as important as it is, I am curious.

If you came to me at one point and you said, OK, we're going to remove your penis. And you're going to design a new one. Mm-hmm. That's a very interesting proposition. What's that experience like for so many women who message me.

Because I now talk to everybody on Instagram and asking who my doctor was and what size I went and what kind of implants I had. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“And the thing I think that's really, really impressive about the whole diagnosis is there are”

100,000 decisions. Every single thing is 5000. It's everything. Yeah.

So it's like, what doctor you're using is so many decisions.

Then you go with them and then it's like, when's the surgery? How long is the, do I do straight to implant while I'm asleep? Do I do two separate surgeries? Do I do expanders? And then do when do I do the over.

I mean, that's the part that I think is fatigue. Yeah. Every day, the amount of questions. So then I talk to a person who got the straight to implant and then I spoke to somebody who did the two separate surgeries.

How long do they wait in between if they wait? For a while. For the two separate surgeries, my understanding. I didn't do this. My understanding is you get your breasts removed.

And then what they put in, do you wake up with expanders in your skin flap? Because there's no breast tissue there. And then they just keep adding, I think it's either air or water or silicone. Whatever they're adding to the extender to fill out your boot. But I think they're these like plastic things that are in there.

And they feel interesting from what I understand. You're also apparently with the expanders.

“They're not like cute round, like it's like an interesting thing.”

Yeah. Right here. It's like a little bit. Why would anyone do it? I am afraid.

I don't want to be judgmental at all. No. I don't know. Right. I don't know what the pro is.

What the pro is. My understanding is that the pro often comes from doctors who say because doing the two and one is not new. But within the last 15 years. Like it's not what they used to do. It used to absolutely be two surgeries.

And then, in fact, my doctor, this amazing woman, Dr. Castleeth, she wrote the paper.

She was like the head of plastics. It's seeters for a couple terms. And she was like, this is doable. We don't need to be giving women to separate surgeries. Yeah.

And then there are other doctors who are like, my experience is that the healing is better. And there's less chance. Because there's a lot of things that can happen when you get a double mastectomy. So when you're looking into it, like an acrossus is something which is terrifying. You're getting your tissue removed.

So close to your skin. That like if they go too close to your skin, that piece of your skin dies. You could possibly try to get a skin reaction. There could be pain. I mean, chronic pain.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a phantom. There's something called an iron bra. So I'm looking all of this up before hand.

Your tits are so heavy. Everything is like heavy. But it's not heavy. It's just bad. Oh, wow.

So it's like a phantom limb. Like a pain expert. Fantastic. I said, yeah. Oh, I can't wait to listen.

There's so many things that could happen. And speaking of gratitude. None of it happened. Yeah. Yeah.

None of my skin is no chronic. The size was exactly right. Dr. Castleith and Dr. Richardson. They said, when they were looking, she goes, we're going to prop you up when you're out. And we're going to put them in.

And it's three women. It's her nurse. And it's Dr. Richardson and Dr. Castleith. And we are going to look at your boot. And we're going to be like, and we tried this bigger size.

And they just looked huge on you. Yeah. And so then we went with this size. When I woke up, she was like, I hope you're happy. We made them a little bit smaller.

And you know, many friends I have that said, especially with male doctors. They wake up and their tits are bigger than they agreed to. Oh.

“But also, I think the norm is in my wrong.”

Women want bigger boots. But you're in a unique situation. I was going to stop you earlier when you said it. You said, you know, girls are like, I must have missed some.

Yeah, when they're kids. Yeah, when they're kids, that is not. Not even my personal experience. But my experience with women. I have not heard that.

I've thought, yeah, when did you start growing boobs. Young, seventh grade. I didn't get my period till 10th grade. So I wore a padded bra and stuffed a little bit in ninth grade. Because I was a board.

It was embarrassing.

Yeah. And it wasn't even real wood. It's so sad. And it was just like bat. And then I remember I wore the padded bra.

And boy started saying, like, oh, you got boobs over the summer. Uh-huh. And I was like, okay. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah.

I always wanted boobs because I never had them.

Then there was a girl in my high school who had like triple D. Exactly. Tiny as you. I don't know if I've ever seen it again in life. Yeah.

And 16 years old. It's like if you are a woman or girl who's flat. You're like, oh, I want some boobs. And if you have boobs, you're like, oh, less. Right.

That's just the way it goes.

“But also most people, I think, who get, well, I wasn't saying most.”

I don't know any of these percentages. Most people who get implants aren't getting double D's. They're getting up around these. Yeah. Definitely now in an LA.

Correct. It's changed. But we had 30 years where actually everyone got double D's. Yeah. The only reason to get implants was like, if you're just going up a size.

What's the point? Yeah. But now the other thing that's challenging is when you get breast implants. I was showing them pictures of the boobs that I liked in the sizes. Oh, good to where did you find those pictures?

Oh, what's really funny is there's a drag queen named Bosco who's a trans woman. And she wore her real tits out on the runway of Drag Race. Oh, okay.

And I said, I have never seen fake boobs like this in my life.

So I DMed her. Oh, and I was like, I love your brush. She wrote me right back. And she sent me a picture. This is the other thing about this fucking journey.

It makes me cry. The sisterhood. She wrote me right back. She sent a picture of the back of her implants card. Then when I spoke to my doctors about it,

they were like, totally, we love that. I'm not sure how a tear drop would be on you in this. And just like, we talked all through it. And the other thing was I have friends who have breast implants.

“And my concern was that because I don't have breast tissue.”

So when you put a breast implant, you would never. But if you did, it would go seamlessly in because you've plenty of breast tissue that go around it. Without the edges.

I could look like I have two half can. Two half canelopes just round totally. And I was like, oh, gaggi. But there's nothing they could do. He doesn't look like that.

If it does, it's because you're on your skinny and your rib cage. Your chest bones are there. Rives ribs, right? Yeah. I'm not right.

Well, one of us has made it to the semi-finals on jeopardy in this room.

That's right. You can only. I was so confident. I was like, your ribs. And then I thought, oh, God, Dax is going to know.

That's not it. That doesn't feel high up for ribs, right? It's like collarbone, right? But it's like that hole. And so now I'm just like a genetic testing person.

We're like, we have this opportunity to find this out. Can someone just ask their normal GP? I want this test. Or do you go online in order it? The myriad one, you go online.

Okay. Learn my risk.com. Okay. It's so easy. Learn my risk.com.

Yep. Go on there in your order. You spit in the tube. You send it out. They send you back.

Yep. And there's an app.

“I had my information right on the website.”

Oh, God. It's devastating. But, you know, there's a big red plus sign in a circle. And you're just like, oh, boy. I have this.

Oh, that's the iconography. You might as well do it on that. Sure. Like a sunshine. You can do imagine.

It's a. It's a smiling baby with a cried hearing. It's so happy. It's hysterical. It's so happy.

I know that certain people, I guess, want. I don't know. They have a different theory of just like, I don't want to know. I'll deal with it when I get there. And that's just not me, especially given that when I got my breast tissue removed.

They found stuff in there. I have a screen grab of the pathology test results and the words are terrifying. Pre carcinomic this and that. And when the doctor castles called me with those results. She was like, almost not.

Shrieking, but almost like we did it. Right. So sometimes we take people's breast tissue out. And there's nothing in there. And that's wonderful.

And who knows if in 10 years it would have been something. Also with BRCA, they recommend you get your ovaries out before 40. And your breast room before 40. And I'm 45. And so it's like, you know, it becomes a borrowed time situation.

Yeah. Because the numbers increased. Right. And so she was like, there was stuff in there. We did it.

That had to be one of the best days in my life. Even though I had to go through all this. I'm like, yo, that's crazy dude. Yeah. I am just living with it.

And we talk about this too, which is so scary. My dad is the greatest. But my dad has been through so much shit. You know, he said, I made it this far. So you could find out he felt so bad about the BRCA.

I feel so bad. You got this from me. Like he went shopping. All right. I regret buying.

Yeah. Those are impulse buy. I regret purposefully putting that gene in you. Yeah. So he was just so upset.

And then when we look at the bright side, it's like, dude, you absolutely saved my life. Yeah. What's your anxiety level out of 10? You feel like that took it to zero.

Or do you feel like, oh, I just don't like that. I have that gene. Well, here's something, which is crazy.

I have a friend who years ago.

“Every single thing that ever happened to her.”

She had cancer in her brain. She was like, oh, oh, look at her. I've cancer. She had a really sore throat for a long time. And she was like, it's 100%.

I've cancer. Everything was cancer. I don't know why. Neither of her parents had cancer. I just was never that.

Not with cancer. I was just like, you know, I have nuts and I can't

testifies, but it was never cancer.

And so this happened, I do recalibrate all of my mental bullshit. Yeah. Wait a minute. Now I have this thing that people get scared of. Their whole life.

I don't God forbid. I have this, you know, predisposition. It's a proclivity. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we are a preclivity. Yeah. Confirm it. I love you that every time I have you knock. I know it's going to make me cry.

I know. You know, I knock. I'm a knocker. I know and I have a lot of time, but if I see you knock, I have to make my heart explode, so you guys are, you know, you're knockers.

“Yeah, well, I think I'm sorry, it's just all, you know, I have something to say.”

It's just, well, sometimes we should call it that.

Do you guys want to think about a side podcast called knockers? Yeah, of course. Oh my god, that'd be great. Just like the sisterhood of the traveling tits of it all, one of my best friends, I'll see, I told her about this diagnosis and she was like, "Oh, my friend has this.

Do you want to talk to her?" And I was like, "Yeah, more than anything." So my whole life became, I met up with this woman Nina. We sit down at Alfred on Vintera Boulevard. And I am kind of hysterical, and I don't know what to expect, but now I've learned my numbers,

and I'm like, "Oh, I got to do this." So now I'm looking for a medical team. I'm past that weird month where I didn't know if I was just going to do advanced surveillance as they call it, and I'm sitting down and I've tears in my eyes, and she goes, "Let's go to your car." And I go, "Oh, okay, because I'm crying and she goes, "No, I'm going to show you my boobs."

And I think it'll make you feel better because they're outrageous. You're going to love what you see. Baby, you're going to love that. You're going to like the way you love. You're going to like the way you love.

So we went to the car. She lifts up her shirt and they're gorgeous, and they don't look fake at all, and they're just perky, and her nipples work, and I was like, "You've got to keep, I didn't know." Yeah. She goes, "Oh, yeah, if you're getting preventative," double-missectomy, and you don't

have cancer, which is why they do the testing, then you can largely keep her nipples. So my boobs look the same as they did before.

“It's very personal, but sensitivity, have we lost any sensitivity?”

I lost all. But, that could return. It could return. I had a facial a couple of days ago, and the woman was at my house, and I felt her pull the sheet up, and my tits were out.

I didn't know. Wow. Wow. This could lead to all kinds of funny future while you're drinking. Your dream albumctions that you don't know about.

I asked her, "Whatever press we just did, I had a low cut thing," and I said, "Let me know if my tits out. I won't know." Yeah. I know.

Okay, we're just going to need to be using a lot of the tape. A lot of the tape, and a lot of friendship, but just being like, "You've been the nipple, you can't--?" No, no, especially the nipple, nothing. So if we punched you, baby, let's go out.

Now is my dog if you had to get punched. But I bet many surgeries, as you know, yeah, my whole shoulder was completely dead. The whole left upper quadrant of my body was just like zero feeling from all the nerves that were cut. They've all come back.

Unfortunately, now I need to get one cut, but they all came back, so you might be shocked. And these doctors, they're out of this place called the Bedford press center. That's all they do. They're just boobs all day. They're not at a hospital, and there's a random plastic surgery they do.

It's the Bedford press center. And so, not that it's experimental, but not all places do this. They do nerve sparing. There's an extra hour and a half added to my surgery because they reconnected nerves after they were cut.

And I was like, is that gonna equal Phantom Pain? And they were like, "No, it actually lessons the chance of Phantom Pain." And so I can feel like here a little bit now, and I don't think it's sighting when I'll be like, "Oh, and this girl, Nina, who famously showed me her boobs immediately," said she was so excited, like a year later, she was like, "I ran into the kitchen and I told

my husband, I'm like, "Evon, I feel my nipple." Yeah. Okay, I have a question, so overall anxiety, this could go either way, because you are an anxious person as am I. Queen.

I feel like I always thought, you know, something could be wrong or something might

be wrong or, and then when I have my seizures, and I got diagnosed with epilepsy, I'm on the edge today, everything's gonna make me cry. Well, that's just so hard. It's so hard. But it really helped my anxiety, because I was like, "Oh, the fuck is wrong with me."

It was like, "Oh, for one, I was like, I knew something was wrong, and then now it's vindicated." That was vindicated. And then it's like, "Oh, but that bad thing, like, the idea of having a seizure." And then it's like, "Oh, I did have it, and I'm fine."

This is exactly what I was saying before. It felt so weird. That we were catastrophizing in life that we do when you actually have the thing, the terrified of, and you figure out the steps to get through it, and you're better on the

If someone told me a year and a half ago that you're an 85% chesian, I don't know what

I would have done. But then when you just tell me, there's not a chat. You have it. Go ahead, figure it out. There was no anxiety at that point.

There's no time for it. Yeah.

“It kind of makes you realize kind of how indulgent anxiety and fear is, because I think”

that's all the time. It's like, all these things you fear. I've walked through many of them now, and they're fine. They're weirdly fine. You show up.

You arrive at the thing. You pick your dad up. You take him to the chemo. You're the he talked to the person while you're there. You make that person laugh.

You just walk through it all.

Yeah, when you think about it, it seems completely insurmountable.

Completely undueable. And what is the fucking utility of it? Like, why do we have such an outsides? So, I think the performance from getting ourselves in situations. The sticky pickles.

Yeah, sticky pickles. But it's too much. But don't they say, like, the reason we have it, we have anxiety and fear is like, from the times when I'll lie in what attack you. And now you have that level of anxiety, but it's because you don't know which cold medicine

to buy. Yes. And you're like, so I'm going to get this. It's going to fuck on my whole thing. I do think in the absence of real threats, all the mechanisms are still there.

But there's nothing real to focus on. Correct. I mean, we're worrying about whether you're going to die at 80 or 90. It's like, what?

“I think it's going to be a teenage day at teenage years in the hunt.”

And then gathering society.

So yeah, I think we have all this architecture for it and no outlet for it. So we just start searching. To me, there are some things like I started that doc. Have you guys seen the doc about the girl who drove the car into a crash or something? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I'm not sure is it going to start it, of course. So this girl drove a car into a wall or something with her boyfriend and a friend. And those two died. And she survived now. She's being charged with murder or something. So OK, I couldn't actually finish it because I started it.

And because it was clearly about teenagers in car accidents and dying, I felt so anxious. And I was like, there's too many teenagers in my life right now. I started to really have some panic. And I was trying to think I can watch this because that's a real fear. These kids out on the road driving around.

These like little babies we had to drove on mushrooms. They shouldn't be out there. I don't like that. But because those are real premium fears, I think your brain can't really handle that level of like these teenagers might end up in these horrible situations.

So it's like, yeah, cough medicine. It like funnels into, yes, because your brain should have a form of sort of handle. Does that mean? Yes. Howard, sir, need to say this all the time, but like your brain can't even focus on dying

for any length of time. You'll think of something else because your brain is not going to let you sit there and really focus on it. It's not a good zone. It's not a good zone.

Yeah, I've been thinking this a lot lately. And I guess the reason I've been thinking about it a lot is because of the fervor of anger and how upset everyone is politically and just kind of countrywide. And some part of me just keeps going, yeah, dude, you're on this planet for a minute. And you literally get to think about whatever you want and you get to get angry or upset

or in love, you're just on this ride and you're going to be gone. And we're here for some period and we'll be gone in this planet was here for a minute. And it'll be gone. It's like, on some level, I think it's healthy to zoom out a bit and go like, yeah, all your concerns, although they are valid, there's a reality of how you're spending

your time on this trip on this planet, which also needs to be evaluated and balanced. There's an old Bob Newhart sketch. This is reminding me of and he was a therapist on his show. And people would come in to his, I feel like I may have told you this already, but people would come into his office on the sketch on the Bob Newhart show.

And he was a therapist and he would sit there with his paper and pen and they would start saying all the things and he would go over to them and shake them and go, stop it. Yeah. But my mother and my father, yeah, and it wasn't good in them, but they did to my stop it. Yes.

And you just go like, stop it. Yeah. This whole country just needs someone to grab by the shoulder and just go, stop it. Exactly.

“You have to say it to myself and I think of that sketch and Jackie stop it all the time.”

But what's really crazy is that this whole journey has not been an anxiety. Yeah. It's journey. It's the antithesis. I am a machine who handles things.

Yeah. I just can't dance. We're in the confidence building. Who's she, bitch? I know.

It's crazy. That's so cool. I want to get really philosophical. Okay. Death.

Yeah. Even if you walk through all of that. Jackie, step in that coffin. Yes. Rob's going to pull out a subcompact machine.

Oh, man. Hey, we're there. I want to help. Even if you work through, like so much of the catastrophization of everything is like

And then you don't walk beyond that.

Okay. Someone died in a car accident, what's after that? And I think you have our own death to think about, which is like truly you're not going to know. Right.

Like you're fearing something you can't experience. So what do we say? Right? Cause you're not going to know. And that's that.

So there's nothing to feel bad about on your behalf because you're not going to suffer. There's no moment you're going to be reflecting and going, oh, I wish I was still there. That's not what's going to happen. So okay. I don't need to feel bad for me because I'm not going to experience any discomfort.

So now we're just talking about the sadness of death is for the people that are left. Yes. They're right.

“But even that you need to think about all that.”

I've lost people. I've lost my father. I kind of love my dad more now than I ever have. I don't know. I don't know if that's where we would have gotten to if you made it to 100.

I don't know. The love and the infusion of the people that are here, that's not going anywhere. You can't take that for me. I can miss my day to day interaction with you, but I think the best version of me will be like, fuck yeah, I got to meet that person on this trip.

So even if you start working through what it'll really look like on the other side of these things were so afraid of it's like, well, the person that died, they got no issues. So people that are alive, but then there's also all kinds of beautiful ways that the people who are then living get to channel that person and talk about the person like, you know, it's all manageable.

We're not so fucking fragile. No. That is my takeaway. People ask all the time. They're like, so are you now like don't sweat this small stuff, and I'm always like,

you know, I am still doing the same thing, but the big difference is that exact thing. There's this perspective shift where I'm not that fragile. I got it. Like, I am, you know, I think in our lives, we're always told, you don't say good things about yourself.

That's conceited. That's that. I am a fucking badass warrior.

“Yeah, you did these crazy, difficult things, and I just did them.”

And if you are going through this, you can do that when I'm deeming with anybody that's going through it.

My first thing is I'm always just like, you got this.

Even if you don't think you got you do, you'll be on the other side of this, I was deeming with one girl who was like, I'm two weeks out and I'm so miserable and I ever gonna feel better. And I was like, Queen, you will be dancing a soft shirt. I do without having breast cancer, I mean, truly in three weeks.

Yeah. But two weeks sucks. Oh, it sucks. Yeah, it sucks. And you don't want to talk about that because I want people to do what they need to

do. But it's like, it sucks. The recovery is rough. I will say the most eye-opening part of my dad's cancer thing was taking him to chemo. And in that room was almost 100% women in their 30s.

And I was like, whoa, this is not what I was expecting. I was going to be a bunch of old men who smoke cigarettes hooked up to these machines. And I was like, oh, there's a real epidemic. I know people have been saying it, but like to see it in person. The gameworms is full of women with breast cancer is crazy.

It's like the numbers of people who get breast cancer. It's like 20,000 people per state per year. Oh, my God. I mean, it's just a massive, that's an issue. So that's where it's 10 or 11.

It's crazy.

And I always say this to it.

But I'm a doctor person. I got a doctor for every part of my body. I go to the doctor for something like this to get past me. Right. It's not like I'm my head and the sand person.

Exactly. I have a girlfriend who was helping me with some interior design 7. She was like, my mom has it. But I just haven't been tested. And I was like, your mom has brakka.

Yeah. You're just raw dog in it. Yeah. I'm judged. In my mind, I did it in out loud judge.

But it's like, you got it. Yeah. I do really have trouble understanding whatever you do with the information. And I guess is your choice. It's just really hard for me to wrap my brain around you.

I'm not that way, but I totally get it. And I'm fine. Not what way. My way is I'd rather know. I thought you were saying not know.

And I was like, bro. No, but I understand. I understand people who choose to not know. I think it's fine.

“And I think I have that feeling because with my dad, I really tried to get him to do certain”

things. And after he was gone, I was like, hey, what a waste of time. That was B was tension. We didn't need. And guess what?

That was his fucking journey to do however he wants. Guess what? It wasn't my fucking business or my choice. And so when my stepdad got it, he made some nuts decisions. I became the spokesperson for the prostate cancer foundation.

So I could get him into a trial. I get him into this trial. No one can get into. He goes, I want to point me, he's like, yeah, and I got to do it. And because I had already had my dad, I was like, cool man, this is your institute.

This is your ride, and I totally honor it, and I wasn't resentful. So I do totally respect people who are like, oh, yeah, it doesn't interest me.

I'm on cool with it. I'm fine with that. That's not what I would do. It doesn't bother me too much because I do think that's all you have for your autonomy. It's really you deciding and whether that to me makes no sense or not.

It's like it's the one thing you have. And you decide if you don't want it.

Apparently, I mean, thank God a million times.

“Again, I don't know about chemo, but it's not uncommon for people to say, I think I'm”

all set. Oh, it's going to be great. I think I'm all set here. I'm done it. I've already done it.

I don't want to do this anymore. In the tool, go on day way, you really do have to evaluate as a quantity play or a quality way. Both are legitimate. What are we talking about for three weeks?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, even if you think it's years, but if you're going to be in a bed the whole time, exactly. Let's compare 18 months to nine months, but nine months, I can go on walks with my family in Europe.

And the other version, I sit in a bed for 18 months and people come and cry next to me. I mean, who's to say, what's going to be like, I'm already gone. Yeah. That's right.

I mean, everyone gets to decide and everyone gets to make their own decision. You occasionally hear these stories where it's like the dad didn't tell anyone. Yeah. It's already everyone's so mad. So mad.

Everyone's so shocked by that. But I did say to Chris, I'm like, you know, I'm not ruling that out because I don't wish to spend the last year of my life breaking everyone's hard. I'm in love with so sue me. I don't want my last year of my life with my girls looking at me with total sadness

and I'm ruining their existence versus I'm still dying on the same day. And I might tell you three months before, so you can do whatever closure you want. It doesn't seem as crazy to me as when I would first hear about it. Like, yes, what? It's my last year of life.

For others. How do I want to spend it being pitted? That's my most hated fucking feeling. So I don't know. So fucking tough ones.

If it's for them, you might want to ask now. Well, I brought up in a day and then go where. How would you want? Because like, I prefer having time being on the other side. Like, my grandfather was basically dying for so long.

Too long. Too long. And it was hard. But I'm glad it happened that way. Because I did get to mourn his death before his body died.

And that was good for me personally. Right. Because then by the time he died, I really could feel gratitude for him. That it was time you were able to spend with him and give you that the information. And really say goodbye.

Yeah. You really feel all the feelings. So if it's for the people in your life, you might want to give that one. Yeah. I'll just say for the record, I don't currently have any terminal diagnosis that I have.

Yeah. And there might be a day when you ask me if I have that when I say I'd rather not answer the axe. No. No.

No. No. I have to carry around a piece of wood. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

My poor dog. My poor good damn dog. I have a good question. Yes.

“When you got the diagnosis, did it do anything or even when you got the surgery?”

Did it do anything to your identity? Did it do anything to your female identity? I love that question. Believe it or not. It really didn't.

Good. It didn't. It's also good. And I'm also speaking with people who are very worried about that. And I feel for them because my boobs are not why I feel like a woman.

I mean, no part of me is really like a woman. I don't know.

I've never been classically feminine in a lot of ways.

We're like a wedding doesn't really speak to me. Right. Well, you weren't talks at your box. I was talking to my dog. I had to learn from a friend the hard way how to celebrate what someone has an engagement

ring. I was like, oh, it's so pretty. And it's called me later. I was like, I don't even know how to have this conversation with you. Everybody but you screamed and went crazy.

Okay, but that's on. I'm sorry. I don't know if that is that's on that. It is a little bit, but it's also like I get it. I'm reacting to it in a way that I don't want an engagement ring.

I don't really care. Yes. It's not something that never meant anything to me.

“I think similarly, I've never been a woman who is like my sexuality and my femininity.”

And I know what would make me lose my sense of self as if I woke up and I wasn't funny tomorrow. I would jump off a bridge. Yeah. Totally.

But if I have to get a life-saving surgery, also, I remember going on a carpet truly way too soon after the surgery because I'm disturbed. And I went to one of the award shows and a girlfriend of mine who was at the award show who been through the whole thing and was who actually recommended the doctors to me.

She DM me afterwards and was like, oh my gosh, you look amazing.

So excited. Let me know when your surgery is. Because she was like, you obviously didn't get it yet. You're at an award show doing amazing with new perky tests. And I was like, oh no, I did it already.

And so because of things like this and because of what an amazing job they did, I think I'd feel differently if I was like, oh my god, I got hatched it. Yeah. And I feel like you know your value is in place there. But for some people, I know a lot of people ready to be too being like, I'm not getting

I don't want to do it. It sounds like a headache. I'm like, okay.

“Yeah, I get everyone makes two, which stay tuned for more armchair experts if you dare.”

Okay. I want to transition to a couple professional questions. Please. One is that I don't think we've talked about any your previous trips here. But when you're 18 after a semester at Delaware, you and Aggie Gold,

you're agent from fresh face, talent and your mother never hated you more.

Came out to LA on a break after the first semester. And you meet Jessica Beal and you end up living with her and her family and Calbassas. But the thing that was, there's so many interesting things to that. I don't know how you could possibly have a question about this obvious thing. The one I'm most obsessed with is it said you guys met at a TV guide awards.

Okay. So just explain to me what the structure was that you met it. And why you would have been there if you're a student at Delaware. The answer to the question is yes, so when I was 18, I came out on this break. And I was friends with Ben Salzbury who was the son on the nanny.

And I have been on many twice. Yeah, playing to remind everyone, young friend Russia. Yes. And then sort of young friend sort of different incarnations. So first I played for second cousin and then I played a girl in the classroom.

That was supposed to be the flashback basically exactly like her. I'm friends with Ben, he's one of my only California friends. And he knew that I loved Jessica Beal. And he was like just, you know, a people call her Jesse. Okay.

So help one day to be able to utilize that. So he was invited to the TV guide awards, which were hosted that year by Drew Carey. Okay. Of course.

But it was the most, I mean, low rent doesn't even cut it.

I would have to Google like what a TV guide award even looks like. So you were his day? I was like his friend day and our moms were friends.

“And so it was me and Ben, I believe his mom and my mom.”

And then Jessica Beal was there who I love. Was she nominated for a TV guide award? Oh, she must have been nominated. I haven't had a TV yet. I was probably nominated for the nanny because that was still on.

Okay. So maybe it was like, you know, best kid the TV guide awards, like best kid actor. They used to also have like the young Hollywood awards. Um, and that I covered, oh, I covered it. Oh, I really really wanted to be involved.

But I wasn't getting hired at that time at all. Okay. So I was Ben's plus one. And then I met Jesse Beal there. Or he was like, Jackie, this is Jesse.

And I just was immediately like, oh, dude, I love you. My book obsessed with you. Yeah. And she was like, oh, thanks to what she has a deeper voice than me. Just crazy.

And all right. Thanks so much, dude. And then we became a media friends. Okay. But really quick, that's already a rare event.

She's already on TV. She was a TV guide awards. She meets you. And she's like, yeah, I have space to start hanging out with you. Is weird.

No? Weird. Yeah. But we were immediately like, our personalities. Similar to me in KB were like, you wouldn't necessarily think.

But then it just works. There's a symmetry. Similar thing with KB. I mean, she wasn't a TV star yet. But when we met, we were like, oh, there was like an immediate game

recognized. Yeah. Like funny, snarky. But very complimentary. You guys are in very defined lanes that are not the same.

Correct. I, for example, I'm not America's sweetheart. Yeah. No, no, no, no. We however are in similar lanes.

So Jess, we became super fast friends. We exchanged numbers. And then the next day I was leaving on like four days. And I was like, oh, what are you doing? And she was like, oh, let's go.

I'm going to tie a bow. Oh, remember, tie a bow? Oh, tie a bow. Really, really, really blanks. Really blanks.

Bebe. I have not heard the term tie bow in 2030 years. Truly. And then she was who convinced me. I don't know that she admits this.

But she is who convinced me to drop out of college. Oh, and it wasn't a hard convince. Correct. I was like, I can't live here. I have nowhere to live.

She was like, live with my family. And I was like, see a you Delaware. So that part is the interest.

“So when she was on seven, having, what ages were you guys?”

I was 18, she was 17. Okay, so that's why she lived at home. And her parents were like, absolutely. Invite your friend. You just met to live in our home.

Because I got to be honest with my girls. Come home from the TV guide or show. And they tell me something. That's what we did. I'm going to go and mess that up.

I think we're happy to see it. It is happening. Chris's course. Yeah, I'll go to West Hill. Yes, and I know where the whole situation is.

And when I first met Kristen, there were seven people living in

exactly. Oh, yeah. At a minimum. Yeah. Same.

I've heard a lot of time. And I was just like, do I dare broach this? I mean, any of these seven folks paying rent? I know. No, no, no, not one of them.

And it paid off. Because those people are Ryan and Amy and other. Get it out. Get it out. Yeah.

Get it out. Yeah. Would you feel awkward living in a family's home? Or did you drop dried in? You're no problem for her.

Yeah.

No. I love giving me soup. Can feel.

Just as Mom taught me how to write a check.

Oh. So literally, like taught me how to pump gas. I moved out of the house so young. I went to college for one semester. I barely had my like drivers license for a year.

I was so young. Oh. And my parents to their credit, well, once they knew I was moving in with this, like TV stars family and my parents met her parents and everything was super sweet and I wasn't going to stay for long.

It was just to like, get me on my feet and get me out here. Oh, I need to stay three years. The seven. It was coming up on seven, it's coming up on 25 at the end of this month. It was like less than six months.

So are you guys just out on the town together? Always. Oh, that's really putting on wigs and dressing crazy and going to friends parties at like UCLA. That's so cute.

That what it pictures from that time are crazy. Also, when she invited me to typo, this is so good.

“I think it's going to be a typo class, like it's like taking a Pilates class and they're”

like, this is Joseph Pilates, you're like, no, it was Billy Black to talk the class. And in the class was Brandy, sinbad, me and Jessica Beale. Yeah. God, I want that. There's a picture from that.

That was on the chart board. Then was that the TV. TV guy. TV guy. For sure.

Now another thing I want to say about your career is I think it started with the question. I was going to ask the question, you've toured both as a musician and you've toured as a stand up. I just want to confirm my hunch, which is, is it easier to do music? Oh, by a million miles.

Like you can even enjoy your free day before performing at night. I was still playing. I'm not doing stand up as much anymore hardly ever. And I'm not playing music as much anymore. And it's a little weird.

I remember when I was a kid in my aunt was like, I was learning guitar and I was like 18. And she was like, I used to play guitar. I remember thinking, like, you used to. You play guitar. You play guitar.

I haven't picked the guitar off the wall in a long time. My guess is I was, as you've known for 20 years, Klein. My whole career has just been this absolute. I was going to say grift. But I wasn't pulling one over and anyone.

It just was like, ha! I'm touring as a musician. I'm touring as a stand up. I'm trying to get on TV. I have an agent.

My agent dropped me. I'm on American. So what can I do because all I want to do is make art and be a professional personality. Yeah. So why do I monetize this?

Yeah. I got on nobody wants this. And like, I just calm the fuck down.

“Even on glow, I was like, hey, hey, hey, how do I get, how do I get?”

What do I get? How of all the people on this show can I be the one who pops? There's 15 of us. How do I maximize this opportunity? Because it's the last one I'm ever going to have.

I don't know. Well, of course. It was for a while. And I lost my health insurance for years after glow. And then finally got a weird energy commercial campaign, which was literally California

only, which made me got my health insurance back in like, 2022 or three. Yeah. So what started is a question about touring. Got said. Well, I got quite good.

It makes me think of, I think the first time I ever cried on the show was Gordon Keith. We were interviewing him live in Dallas. And he was telling a story about he was staying in our house. We were out of town. And he just went through my big book of Alcoholics and Autonomous.

And in the first page, or like all these different dates that have been scratched out. I got sober this time, then I got sober again this time. And so it's funny. I look at that page and I'm a little bit like, oh my god, such a failure. I just can do it right now.

Yeah.

“And Gordon Keith's like, I looked at this thing.”

And I was like, too, this guy who won't quit. And I was like, oh, fuck that guy. Yeah.

Yeah, because I will never give myself that kind of pad on the back.

But yeah, throughout all things, I'm a dude who won't give up. And there's a date that isn't crossed out. Oh, you know. I mean, it's six months. Yeah.

Because I give mine a coat off. But it's not like that. But I'm looking at this long road you've been on now you're touring. And again, I did the same thing where I was just like, dude, I'll do whatever things working slightly better than the other things.

I write, OK, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you stay in my room like oh, that's what it is now. OK, I'll sing now. Yeah, so I look at your thing. And I'm like, this fucking bitch wouldn't quit.

It's so hard. This bitch wouldn't fucking quit. That makes me forget to feel so good. That's something to be more proud of than having succeeded right away. Yeah, I agree.

Understatement, not succeeded right away. Yeah. And it's kind of like a testament to it. It is a war of attrition. Also, most people have moved home by now.

And we've talked about this.

And I talk about you often in interviews where I talk about how the first time I did

your pod, you set a similar thing to me, similar to what your boy said about the crossing the dates out. There was a turning point for you, where when you're 37 and you still haven't gotten the job and you're in your one bedroom apartment with your 15 year old RAV4, no one's

No. Yeah, exactly. They're worried about you.

“That's exactly what you're talking about.”

Yeah. And then the next year I get glow and then I'm doing all this press and everyone going like, your persistence is so admirable and good for you. But six months prior, it was like, we hang in it up, we get into job already. Yeah.

And you pointed that out to me. I was like, oh, yeah. That's crazy. And the other reason when I talk about it in therapy, I'm like, I might be, like, some is broken.

Sure. A good way. Probably in a good and bad way. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, they're not going to, I have family members that went on two job interviews. And it's too much. Yeah. They were told no both times and they were switching careers now because it's just, yeah.

I was not in these situations. Yeah.

And now they're doing something else because the first job didn't work out.

And now I am putting a fucking garlic and a cross to that whole career. One rejection, I couldn't count them with a gun to my head. You can't get thousands. Yeah. You can survive here with that.

Yes. And no.

“Because what I admire about you and I think it's what I did as well, which is like, I just”

kept pivoting. Also, you were like, I'd be happy being a singer at the tours. You want to invite me to that party? I'm there. 100%.

You want to invite me to the acting party? I'm there. 100%. I also think, yes, you shouldn't give up after two. But I also think a lot of people just are willing to keep trying different things.

You're like, so hell bent on this one version and it has to be. The other thing is it's impossible to say if you're not getting hired because you're just not good. Yeah. That's hard to know.

How do you know? Yeah. Really hard to know.

And then it's like, well, it is a little psychotic.

If you're like, okay, you're almost 40 and you still haven't been really hired in any meaningful way. That means. Then you security. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like that same thing happens to people who just don't have the goods. I know. Yeah.

Yeah. It's how got I rate tricky. But with me, I was lucky. Because I was getting enough validation from big people that were like, we're going to give you a development deal.

We're going to make you a shock. Exactly. And then just the show didn't go. Yeah. Well, somebody thought I was cool enough to like try and make something with.

You had bites. It's not like my opinion. I'm like taking in the feedback of this business and near the advantage of performing live. That's true.

That's very encouraging.

That's the ticket, too, is when I started really doing stand up.

It was probably a couple of years before, well, five years before a glow. That changed my whole life, too, because speaking of pivoting, I was no longer waiting for the phone to ring. A joke. Yeah.

I'm just going to be on the pitching for people. So I'm out. I'm on the town. Managers, comedy people saw me. I went and did Montreal.

I'm in action. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the number one piece of advice I give them pivoting is really good, too. But the number one piece of advice I give is like diversify your point fully.

Oh, bitch. Do not fit there. And be like, I'm an actor. I'm waiting. You can't wait for the phone to know.

And if you're an actor, you better start writing and directing and make your own shit, because no one's looking for you. Especially now. There really is no excuse. You can make stuff all day long.

Put it on top. Put it on top. Put it on YouTube. And we will dismiss you as influence. Yeah.

Exactly. And you're going to have to get used to that. Think in that skin. Because it's happening. Okay.

My very last question. Oh. I think about this often. I mostly think about it when I'm at my men's meeting because there's a bunch of men on different rungs of the ladder of the success ladder of the success ladder.

The Hollywood success ladder in the financial ladder is many of status ladders. And I can see for some of these guys, I can feel that they think their position on that wrong is important to me or that I even evaluate it. But when you're having those feelings, you're certain other people have decided you're not high status enough for them.

And just on the other side, I lucky enough now to be on the very high wrong of that ladder. And I've been on a very low run in the ladder. And I now realize from the higher run, I don't think about what anybody has accomplished or how much money they have, like it's all in our own heads. A hundred percent.

“So I'm just wondering, have you had any kind of reckoning with that?”

Because like you and I have been friends for 18 years. I'm not more friends with you now that you're nobody wants this. And I'm not West friends with you. It has no impact. No.

No. I like you then. You're busy. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what I'm talking about and then when you get it, you've got to go like, Oh, I will say what it has afforded me is more of a calm. I'm not so fucking thirsty. I don't have to be funny in all situations. That's very self-aware of you to say, by the way.

I'm impressed by that. Thanks. I also, I remember years ago, meeting like some of my favorite comedians, feeling this need to rise to the occasion. Yeah.

Because I know they're funny. They don't know. And there's that thirst of like, you don't even mean to. And I'm not over there like doing a soft shoe, but I'm being like, Real Bitty.

who's a really great inspiration in this way is Sarah Silverman. If you guys had this genius on, yeah. Well, it's okay.

Well, just something that's amazing about her is like, she's never been a Bitty person.

You're one of the best to ever do it in my opinion. She's absolutely a genius and a trailblazer. And she's so calm. Yeah. For example, you realize that the grates are fucking chillin'.

What are you doing? And then when I'm somewhere now and someone's like, Bitty City, I'm like, Oh, okay. But I get it and similar to what you were saying a second ago, it's like, they feel insecure. So I don't fault them for that.

Yeah. Like if someone's guessing on nobody wants this and they're doing a lot of bits in the hair and makeup trailer. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's me. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not like, Okay, try hard. It's like, yeah.

You want to remember you and the girl. Yeah. And I get that. Yeah. I know.

And it's like, ah, this industry. I know it's a nightmare. It's an absolute psychological warfare nightmare. And I think that for me is what now that I'm here and I'm moderately successful and I feel I'm doing well and I have my health and all the things.

I'm just like, Oh, I don't, you know what's really interesting. I went to Acupuncture.

This woman recommended this amazing Acupuncturist.

She and her daughter. They're this tall. Black, like, Bob hair. Cool. They look like that woman from the Incredibles.

Yeah. I was just thinking that they're Korean, I mean, thick Russian accents. Oh. Yeah. And they are fascinating.

Make a mess. And they're Acupuncturists in Silver Lake. The mother daughter team. Okay. And you want to talk about crying.

I went in there. And the woman was like, the first thing she was asking me about my ailments and I was

“telling her about the breast and everything and she goes, you need to.”

She's just going to like this. She's waving her out. She's like, calm your nervous system and her thick Russian accent. Calm your nervous system. And I was telling her the soul story.

And then she gave me a hug. Because when Jess met me, and she goes, you don't have to entertain anybody. Oh. Well, then I'll help no value. Truly.

I mean, more than what. Yeah.

One of her was fucking seaweed.

People that Ursula turns the mermaids into. Oh. It's big eyes. And I'm just like, what is what? What's the point?

But I just like, it was. Wow. She saw right through. Yeah. So I was probably like, well, I did this and I did it.

And I did that. I did it. I had to do the boobs. But I'm going to do the, like, you know how I'm trying to lighten it for someone else. So they can handle it.

Yeah. So she's like, what have you been going through? And I'm going to do it in the song and dance. And she said, you don't have to entertain anybody. Yeah.

That's one. And I was like, sweet way to say it to you. Yeah. Because where's she been like, just knock off the camera. Yeah.

I'm not enough enough enough. I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not. Just so rude.

Stop it. Stop it. It was just so profound. And like, even though now I'm sitting here being like, so I don't have to do this thing anymore. That was a month ago.

Yeah. And the acupuncturist, I was like, do you want to solve shoe number four? Yeah. Because I just was telling her about my trauma. And so I was trying not to make it heavy.

I could just as easily have like taken a breath and calmly just given her.

“She's like, you need to have a new mantra.”

And it's this. And you have to say it like this. And it's, it sounds so right. It's whatever. I don't care.

In that like, breathy, I also Joan, I were talking about like, when the student is ready, the teacher appears, like how he's acting like people have been like, you want to calm the fuck down? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But this time, you could hear her. I just was like, oh, yeah. I need to breathe, bro.

Yeah. On one. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do it.

I love you. I love you so much. Okay. Everybody, the four reasons that you should be getting genetic tested. rare cancer, repetitive, multiple cancers, young cancer, or if you're an

Ashkenazi Jew, get your test at learnmyrisk.com. I'll probably do it anyway, but you chose to do it. I just do it. Why not? It's so easy to spin a tube.

Exactly. I spit them all day long just from you. True, you really do. You love. He loves it as a dipping.

Yeah. You and Tim. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. Yeah. I love you.

I love you. Just a quick reminder that as part of our summer break, here's a rerun of one of our favorite fact checks. I have an update. You have an update.

What is that? I was right again. Oh, wow. Great. You feel so good to be right, doesn't it?

Yeah.

“So, remember when I said you were right about my period, and you gave you a whole”

thing about that, you were wrong. Oh, okay. So, it's a bad day for me and a good day for you. And I was right the whole time. Yeah.

What I said is the day, which is today. Congratulations. Thank you. It came. So now we still don't know why you had your clothes on backwards.

Yeah. That's still a big question. The original mystery remains. My mom liked me and write so much she made up a song and you'd hear a singing

you're right. Wow. Yeah.

There were more lyrics, but that's the guess the chorus of what I remember.

Yeah.

“Do you think you really like, because you grew up hearing that?”

You really embodied it. I just know it feels great to be right. Yeah, but it's like, do you know because of the song or do you know? I heard the funniest thing once from an editor, a film editor who had cut some, a couple movies from an actor.

And he said, yeah, you know, his thing as if he, if he has his way, his character's arc is that he'll find out he was right the whole time. Instead of learning it, let's say. Yeah. They'll find out he was right the entire time.

That's really fun. It does feel good to be right. It does. It's just important not to gloat, you know, I guess it's all you could do. And I guess it's good to tell other people when they're right, like I do, even though

you were wrong. I was wrong. Yeah. You know, this was just a topic last night in a, in a 12 step meeting, which was in the book that said something about big shotism, you know, like, what's a say?

You know, just like that we have to avoid big shot. Don't be afraid. And I was thinking, maybe the best you can do is, you just don't say anything. Like you're going to think things. I don't know that you can control whether you think something.

It's just like the thought pops into your head and really, again, the space between your

“thought and your actions, they're in lies piece or whatever the saying is, they're in”

lies freedom. So I was thinking, like, no, I still have some pretty grotesque thoughts. I've just gotten good at not saying them. And that's, I feel like that's all I can, I'm capable of and I'm proud enough of that. Yeah, I mean, yes, I don't think we can control our thoughts, but we can control everything

else after the thought. So we must. Yeah, increase our bust. We must. We must.

We don't have to do that. Everyone's doing great. I'm trying to increase my bust pretty regularly. I'm doing bench press, which is for the pectorals. Yeah, but you don't have to increase.

No one has to increase their bust. No, it's not a must. No. It's a choice. But it is from Greece.

No wonder I hate it. Oh, yeah, that's right. I don't like Greece. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. The only person in the world is that because I don't like musicals and even I am like,

it's fun. Really? Yeah. We made out. Under the dough.

Please, don't. Is that song in particular? I don't like any of the songs. You know, my brother, when he was just a young baby boy, he would be crying in the car. He was a baby.

And my mom put the grease soundtrack on and he knew them. Yes, and it worked. And especially this one song. And so we, I had to listen to it on repeat. Okay.

To keep him from crying. I got it. You've associated it with your brothers annoying behavior. Separate. No.

I already hated it. That's what's going on. I already hated it. You know, it's so funny when you think back, like my brother also was obsessed with the backstory boys.

Interesting. That's a little boy. Oh, that's cute. It's so cute. Yeah.

And I'm sure I was mean to him about it. Of course you were. Does he want to go to this sphere? No. Exactly.

I thought about it recently. I was like, oh, he should go to that. That's his favorite painting. When he was six. I still like everything I liked when I was six musically.

I never came to hate anything that I once loved musically.

Right. Have you? I'm trying to think. I mean, I just like so much top 40 that I'm sure, I mean, it's hard to say. Now if I heard it, I'm associating it with that time.

So of course I'll like it. Yeah. But do I like it? Probably not. Well, this brings up an update for me.

So my deepest superstition as you already know, you know, what's my deepest superstition? Putting hats on. One more thing that where it really is like, it's, oh, I'm like, oh my God, can you me a hint? Because I do want to guess.

It's musical. Oh, you have to listen to a song.

“There's a certain song you have to listen to twice.”

If I hear it accidentally, I have to, so my dad used to play this song at full volume and it was like, again, it's associated with like maximum chaos, my brother and him fighting.

And that song was always playing.

And I just got it in my head that like, if I heard it once, I had bad luck and then I had to hear it again. But I was not allowed to touch his record player and he had the album, so I had no control over it. The song is "Jump by Van Halen."

Right. "Jump." Yeah. So I was in Nashville and because I'm in my old cars, and they don't have any way to play my phone through some of them.

I was listening to the radio a ton. Oh. So I was driving down the road by myself and an all of a sudden, "Jump came on." Did you slam?

work around that everyone will call bullshit on.

But I'll turn the channel to another channel then turn it back and I try to count that as a second. Oh. Which is, well, no, that's bullshit. But that's the best I can do.

Okay, listen, there's no rules because it's all made up to your head. That's all I have for nine. Yes. Yes. I don't know why, but this song came on when I was in Nashville and I go, we're done with

this. Good job. We're done with this. Yeah. And I try to listen to a twice and then I go, in fact, I'm adding it to my liked songs.

So now it is in my liked songs, which I listen to all the time and it comes on once and I'm like, it's a great fucking song and you're going to get over it and you're going to love a version therapy. You're going to enjoy it. So I've been listening to it one time randomly a lot.

Did it?

“Does your nose slowly bleed when you listen only once?”

No. It's nice to hear black like Wednesdays and have you had any bad luck since you started this? No. Not that discernible.

Now, in fact, I feel like I'm on good luck, I'm on a good luck wave.

I've discovered this documentary, the Cowboys documentary, not the cheerleading one, which is also great. Right. But a history of Jerry Jones buying the Cowboys. Are you watching it, Rob?

I am not. Buddy, I don't, I haven't liked to dock this much since last dance. You don't, what? You just asked Rob because he's a boy. Huh?

Because he loves football. Because he makes sense, right? Because there is a dock on the row. I go, Monica, have you seen the dock on the row? But I love last dance.

You know that. I know you do. Have you seen him on the dock? Can you? Can you admit that you could have just asked everyone?

I could have. But I would, if there was a row documentary, I want to ask Rob. Rob does like football. That's fine. He loves it.

“He might love to watch the dock on the road.”

Rob, it's really great. It's probably going to be great. I'm going to make it and produce it. I had a really strong feeling you hadn't watched the Cowboys documentary. Unfortunately, I was correct.

America's team, the gambler and his Cowboys, the gambler and his Cowboys. Okay. It's awesome. I do think you should watch it. This was all to encourage you to watch it.

I'm not leaving you out. I just wanted to see if I could get a two way encouragement to you to give it a shot. Yeah. Because you do not need to hear what you want. It's like peer pressure.

Okay. So you don't want me to hear it. Just be regular. You wanted me to ask if you've watched it and then no, not recommended. No.

That's not what happened. I just didn't want you to specifically ask the male in the room about a dock. The ball. When you just equated it to last dance. So we know it's not just for, I don't like basketball.

You don't like basketball, yeah. And the last dance is basically my favorite show that it's ever happened. I know. It's a great one. Anyhow, okay.

I want me to watch it. Or do you think everyone shall watch it? It's incredible. Okay. What characters?

Jerry Jones is such a character. Can you give you a taste of what happens? So he is a very young guy and he is, I guess a wild cat they call him. Maybe that's not the right term, but he is buying oil fields hoping to strike oil. Okay.

So over leverage, he's like $50 million in debt as a young man.

And he just keeps gambling. And when he describes the oil he hits, the noise is it was making and when it just started gushing and then that one oil, well, made him a hundred million dollars. Wow. And then he immediately took that money and bought the cowboys.

Wow. And the cowboys are the most valuable sports team in the world. Yes. I knew that. I knew it was.

Yeah. The go of $13 billion value of that team. I'll. Yeah. And then he grabs this coach out of college.

Jimmy Johnson. And it's just a great way. He thinks it's because he has two days. It makes it really great that they are literations there. But like he is two days.

So he's like the only people like in higher, it's like a small pool because it has to have two days. They were on a championship college football team together. And they knew each other forever. And did you ever watch the you?

Oh, yeah. The 34th. You did. Yes. So he was the coach that was like, yeah, you did.

I did you. I did not. No. Well. Well.

Look at that. If you remember, Jimmy Johnson was the one that was like, yeah. Be black. Don't listen to this bullshit thing. You're a dog.

Right. He's cool. Yeah. And those two, the owner and him. Yeah.

That's tough to share glory. It's tough to share glory. It's tough to share glory. It's tough to share glory. I'm not done with it.

I don't ever want it to happen.

“That's why I love when there's a show like that.”

Yeah. That was too much for me. The show too much on Netflix. Oh. I did start to pre-recommendation and I love it.

It's great. It's so. It does give me anxiety. Okay. Tell me.

Because she's so fragile.

“Like anything could, she could unravel over almost anything.”

And so it does trigger my like, oh my god, if I was around someone who was, oh, like, I don't know if they're going to unravel at this moment. Yeah. It's very stressful to me. Oh, how far you're in.

But it's interesting the way they, I love him. He's so hot. He's so hot. So hot. I listened to this one thing on it that I thought broke it down really, really well, where

they were like, this show does such a good job. Of highlighting the highest, or like the most manic parts of a relationship, the beginning and the end, because she has this other relationship, she has come out of and it's very tumultuous. She's making some really wild.

Isn't she so funny?

Oh, she's, she's incredible.

Oh, my god. She's incredible. And Lee and his great. She's on. Yeah.

It's. It's a really good show. Really great cast. Really great station. Well, that's when I was rewatching girls and I was seeing all these people that she, that

they cast for, I was like, God, yes, some people just really have that neck, like Mike White. Yeah. Mike White had Will Sharpe and Meghan Fayhee on the same season of White Lotus, which means he's a genius.

He is a genius. Anyway, cowboys, you love him. I'm going to watch. It's so good. It's so good.

Well, I am coming off of some good luck as well. You are. Okay. Because it's birthday luck still. Yeah.

I still have birthday luck.

“And people who listen will remember that at the Bowery, I got a tassel 11, 11, 11,”

the room. This is incredible. Yep. Wow, big story, tassel for my birthday. We went to the four seasons and went to the pool.

I had to get a room for that. Yep. So, guess what, my room number was, you already know, 11, 11, 11, 12, 11, 11, again.

Oh my gosh, this should be your first tattoo.

I actually thought that, I thought it, I thought it, which is why I can't get it, because I guess it's a cliche. Do a lot of people have all 11, 11, no, but it's like a few thought and I thought, we all thought it. Or is it so on brand for you, I don't know.

I don't know. I'm not going to get any tattoos. But if I was, I think it might be that. You could get X, I, X, I, and when we so obvious, I know, you know, I'm not really in the room in the world, so that's pretty, that's pretty basic stuff.

It's not even, it's just like, it's basic. It's not for me. It is basic. Oh my god. Wait, is this real?

I think so.

“Okay, so for the listener, Rob just put up a photo of Jennifer Anderson.”

And, and, and seemingly, she has 11, 11 tattooed on her wrist. Oh, or maybe, oh my god, yeah, now you can't, because if she, if we ever interview her

and you have the same tattoo as her, but now I have to, it was always meant to be.

Yeah. I got, should I get one like, because I, since I don't really want anyone to see, you think I could just get a really tiny one in between my big toe and my second toe. Toes are rough. The skin rubs off a lot.

I fingers, digits, they can be tough. Like my bell's not holding up like the rest of my tattoos. Well, I've never gotten one in here. It's hard. Yeah, I guess that skins, it's hard for the tattoo to stay there for whatever reason.

I don't know why. Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. You don't hear my maximum stem of end of my entire life. Other than when I guess this song, you were, you'd made a Xantham gum. That still is like, that can't have happened.

I know. Zantham gum. Zantham gum. Okay, so I wrote this script called "San Lawyers Guns and Money." Right.

And it was about my last week of drinking and kawaii. And while I was writing it, I'm just like swimming in the Warren Zvon song, "San Lawyers Guns and Money." Do you know that song? No.

Okay. I'll cover my face since I see you. I took home the bar main, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like I always do. How's I to know? She was with the Russian toose.

Hey! And it's "San Lawyers Guns and Money." The shit has hit the fan.

And it's about my last week in Hawaii of using "I Decide." I should learn to play that guitar. I should learn to play that song in the guitar. So I go on YouTube and I'm trying to find some footage of him playing that so I can look at the chords. And I find this video of him in a small venue and he's talking to the crowd and he says, I wrote this song after, oh, I got to add, my last week of drinking in Hawaii was I was taking a vacation between movies because I was exhausted and I needed a break.

“It didn't turn out to be a replenishing trip, as you can imagine. So he goes, yeah, I wrote this song after a couple years of hard work and I decided to take an aisle. I trip down to the islands of Hawaii.”

And after a week of improbable danger and something, I decided I shouldn't take vacations. I took home the bar made and I was saying, wow.

What the fuck, this song is about is week and a while. That's wild. I thought it was going to evaporate into the clouds at that point. My dad was helping your sim even before we met. Well, it's all been orchestrated from 1987. You don't even, we don't even know if I existed before. Exactly.

Yeah. Because even for you, that was the best year of your life. Yeah. It's all really interesting. Oh, I can stand here.

Anyway, so birthday luck is continuing. Yeah. Birthday week weekend was really nice. Ended up at the, oh, I wanted to check something. Maybe another sim moment.

Okay. Can I look up when war dogs was? I'm gonna, I already did. 2016. Dang.

Oops. One year off. Okay.

Because in 2016, it was my birthday.

And Kristen planned. You're turning 29? I guess. No. Yeah.

I was turning 29. And Kristen planned an escape room party. For me and her and you and a group of people. It was really exciting. We get there, go inside, ready to escape.

And she had accidentally booked it for the wrong day. Which was fine. It was like, what are we going to do now? Textbook belt. It is.

This is kind of her move. It happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“So, you know, it's like, what are we going to do now?”

And we pivoted plans was your idea.

You said, let's go to the Chateau.

And then dinner. How full an A is. I had never been there. And I've been trying to go for a long time. Sure.

And it was really exciting and fun. Then we saw war dogs. That was like a big birthday. I remember and it was a good pivot. And the bull nays was so good.

And it was very exciting. And on my birthday, it was a lazy day. I said it for a season. So then I like woke up. And I was just lazy.

Cali told me I should order a milkshake. And in my robe room service. I didn't. Oh, okay. But it's a rough way to start your day.

That's why. I was like, it's too early. But it also sounded nice. Yeah. Anyway.

And then I went to sunset tower. Oh, I went shopping. I got myself a cute outfit. And I went to sunset tower.

“And then sunset tower turned into the Chateau where I had bull nays for dinner.”

I did. Did you see anyone? No, I don't think so. You don't see very well. Yeah, I don't know.

And I thought it was a 10 year anniversary. But I guess it was a 9 year anniversary. Right. So that is not as sim as I wanted it to be. Okay.

It's still great. Yeah. That's a fun tradition. It is a fun tradition. Maybe all maybe there'll be a new tradition.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a romantic out. Oh, yeah. Speaking of this.

Okay. I probably shouldn't do it like this with this like long face. It's not like bad news is coming. It's not bad news. Great news.

Great news for the world. Travis and Taylor are engaged. Oh, right. Yeah. And everyone is happy.

And I'm so happy. She seems so happy. It makes me feel really fuzzy. Like she got it all. And she deserves it.

And I love it. And it's hopeful. Yeah. Great. You know, Lincoln said that they like announced it.

That either announced it or like a teacher. The teacher came like into the classroom and told everything. Oh, right. All girls. All girls.

All girls. It's incredible. Yeah. Anyway. But I forgot that the whole reason they're together is their podcast.

New heights.

So he went to the concert to try to give her.

Oh, some right. So number. Yes. And. But he didn't.

He couldn't see her. So then on the show is brother asked. How was the concert?

“He said, well, kind of but her because I really wanted to talk to her.”

But she doesn't talk to people before after shows and wanted to give her my bracelet. Has my phone number on it. Yeah. Okay. That's he owed it.

He put his phone number in the bracelet. Yeah. Oh, that's the door. Yeah. Yeah.

And look. That got him a wife. Yeah. And here we are. One of the more coveted.

What was that? Yeah. Yes. And here we are almost eight years in. Oh.

To this show.

And I have zero husbands.

Yeah. But. But. But. Okay.

So when she did it. She heard that. Yeah. And then she reached out. He said yes.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. There's a lot of people in the comments that are saying your hot name. I mean you.

But see. You. Go ahead. You have said many times you don't want to date a listener. And let's their Taylor Swift.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Also she wasn't a listener. Just got back to her.

Okay. Okay. So who? Like I mean I could on here. You know what's unfair.

I would look crazy and he didn't look crazy. And that's. Well, he had a lot going for him. No. Not going for me.

What do you mean? No. It's. It's. And apparently adorable that this enormous football player.

And this gruff bone crusher made a Taylor Swift bracelet. Yeah.

“So you have to do something as completely out of the box.”

That's what made that so adorable. I was like, oh wow. That guy made a bracelet with his number of Taylor Swift. Yeah. It was really cute.

There's a lot to the product, you know. It's like, does it do like go beat someone up? Well, we got to have stars on and like talk about that. You know what? Get go with a butterfly knife and pull a butterfly knife.

Like you got to. You got to put the same effort. You put it to it. It takes like four minutes to make a friendship bracelet. You have to start by pursuing someone which he did.

Yeah. So yeah, you're going to have to pursue like he did. And then he got the woman of his dreams. Okay. You're yes.

That is all true. This is all to correct. But I'm kidding. And I do think. Maybe I'm wrong.

But I want to be honest. Feeling that you're right. I want to be honest. I think if a girl did that. Did that exact thing.

He did. Yeah. Went to Chris Martin to show. Mm-hmm. Wanted to give him a thing.

Didn't get to when on her podcast. And was like, oh, like I didn't get to give him my phone number. I'm sad about that. I don't think people would think it was as cute as what happened. Again, you're trying to frame it as female.

I'm just asking. I'm not trying to say it's sexes. But I'm really trying. I'm being honest. When you said of a girl did that.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're framing it as those are double standard between men and men. But I'm not trying to make it.

“I'm just being honest about the fact that I think I even would be like that's not”

here. If he had gone to a Shania Twain concert, hoping to bump into her and give her a number, that's not what it was. You really ignoring the fact that it was a huge NFL player that was a swifty.

That was such a, that was such a unique thing. That's what's happening there. It's not that he's male or female. It's that here's the last guy you'd expect to be a swifty is a swifty. Well, then, okay.

So then that's. So if that means like you're going to find some grungy punk rock dude, and you come and bring them flowers or something, you know, that's just not my high. That's right.

But that's why that's not a story. But it's not because you're a woman. It's because it's not this crazy. First time you've ever heard this. Yeah.

Was he a swifty or was he just wanting to date? Or was he just wanting to date her? I think he's a swifty. Well, not to make the bracelet. Now he's a swifty.

I bet he's a swit. A lot of, and a show is a huge swifty. I know. So then if a lot of people are swifty is, then why would it be mostly women are swifty? I've been to a show.

It's a 90 plus percent female. Yeah. I guess. I don't know. Now we're doing it.

It's very female. Okay. Whatever. I guess this is getting twisted. So if you were like, if there is like some punk band that only dudes like Megadeth.

Ew. See? This. I don't even know what that is.

But I'm never going to date a deaf guy.

Pro deaf. Not even pro. We're trying to make this apples to apples. So you would have to have entered into the most masculine scene. And people go like, oh my god, this cute little girl.

Okay. Oh my god.

Oh boy. That's not flattering. No. Different hair. What do you mean?

He's not. I said, on a proactive. That's a story. That's my point.

Is you showing up at that show?

Is it you showing up at a slayer show? And you're in love with the drummer is hilarious. This is I'm now. So there may be a little older. You know.

Yeah. You got to find the equivalent of Megadeth or Metallica of this era. And people go like, oh, that's super cute liberal little podcast host. Love that crazy maniac rocker. That's a story.

But I'm going to push on back on that. Like, it's not. It's not crazy for any man to like Taylor Swift. She's a, she's a very cute blonde. Pretty girl with a talent.

I think it's crazy. And the reaction would substantiate that, that one of the most gruesome NFL players was a Swiftie.

“That is, that's why it was so contagious.”

So a Swiftie versus wanted to, to go on a date with her. Yeah, I'm saying, Swiftie. Yes. When I heard it is like, this guy knows about the bracelets. He made her a bracelet.

He's a Swiftie. Okay. You're saying it. So like, you know 100% and we don't. Because he went there.

He said he went there. Because he was a Swiftie. He's in love with her. He wanted to give her a number. He, he, he wanted, yeah, he wanted to give her.

You're saying he just wanted to fuck her. No, I'm not saying that. Okay. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying he liked her.

Like he was like, I want to date that girl. That girl seems awesome. She's pretty. She's talented. She's cool.

Yeah. I want to date her. Like I think a lot of men think about Taylor. I will say. And I don't know about the mega death community.

But my guess is, um, Great backstory. Dave Mustang was in Metallica in Laft. You got kicked out of the band and then started that band, which became their big rival. Oh.

Right Rob, is that true? Yeah. Yeah. He's in a dock talking about how it haunted him. You know, he's still drove him.

15 million records. Oh wow. Still thought about getting kicked out of the deal. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, um, I'm sure a lot of women want to date and marry them. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. A real choice. Yeah.

You don't want to. And I, I don't know. I've never met them. So maybe I'd love them. They're also way older.

I'm kind of curious. Again, I'm saying the equivalent of mega. No. But I'm just saying. I think that's like a real choice.

“And I think dating Taylor is is like dating, um, Bradley.”

Or like Timmy, or like someone huge in the popular zeitgeist. Not me. Okay.

Uh, they're enormously sold 50 million.

Okay. They're not. Metallica's not niche at all. No, I know. Yeah, yeah.

But no, it still niche today. What I think we have a different opinion. I think what was charming about the entire. Travis Taylor story is that this big NFL player was a sweetie at heart. Cause he was a sweetie.

And I think an equally big story would be that this sweetie liberal little girl is into this crazy off the chain band. That's the story that I'm saying. Other people would also find that charming. And the members would be the guys.

The women that came to shows. I've been to these shows. The ones that came that were attracted to mega death. They looked like they were in mega death. Exactly.

You don't. If you shut up in the row with flowers. That's the story. Yeah, but. And no, no, I think you're crazy.

They'll be so charmed by how unexpected this obsession is.

“If you're right, I guess you're at your right.”

There's an element of unexpected.

I'm just the problem is I'm not unexpected.

Yes, you are in areas that you don't have any interest in. What do you mean? You don't like Metallica. That's what I'm saying. That's expected.

I'm saying I'm not. I'm saying the problem is I'm not unexpected. The things I like are expected. Right. Yes.

This is the problem is my point. Yeah. You'd have to. So I'm not going to be able to. Because you're going to give flowers to the same guy.

Every girl likes already. Should I say it? That it's Joshua Connor. Yeah, I don't know. It is dating.

He's not always going to be dating. Maybe he is. And I wish them well if that's true. Joshua Connor is extremely attractive. And I find him very cute and endearing and fashion.

Yeah. And he is exactly expected for who I would like. That's right. So it's not going to come as a shock. But I guess I'm calling it in.

But I'm not because that's actually rude because he's dating something. Like if you tried to date Ben Shapiro. Dax. I'm saying if you tried to date Ben Shapiro.

He would absolutely notice that happened.

But he'd be like, you're kidding me. She wrote me a letter and likes me. But another right wing. It wouldn't break through the clutter. Yeah, that's fine.

I'm not. I can't go against my values.

“I don't think Travis money gets to his values.”

And I don't think even. I mean, it wouldn't be going against my values from megadeth either. Because I don't know. Well, unless again, I'm not really pro deaths. So maybe it is against my values.

But I think about it a lot. And so today, so that's a good match made in heaven. There's just more mega of what you already are. That wouldn't be a good match. I need someone to.

You need someone. A death talk, you know. That's true. That's true. Should we disinfect?

Sure. You should date a singer of ghost. That's that's equivalent. Or Monica hit on one of the. Oh, I was going to say.

I was going to say. I think they're older. Show a picture of you. Yeah. I know they're too old.

But that guy doesn't look terribly young either. The creeps, Rob. What do you see? Guar. Yeah.

I got a good. Truly you'd stop the whole show.

“If you've got up on stage during war and presented one of them with like a axe.”

Like a custom engraved axe. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm going to have nightmares about that. People that would make national news.

Oh, my God. I take that down. That is truly scary. They like shoot blood. Oh, that's all.

Venus. Oh, yeah. They have like. Here. Wait.

I got one more. So the whole band. Wait. That was a little intense. Oh.

This guy. His penis is out. Oh, he's just several. Venus is out. He's got several.

I mean, it's not written out as real people. No, the prosthetic. They shoot like blood. Yeah. And he's got two of them.

You guys. Oh, there's the whole gang. This is so unfair. I have to date. Guar.

No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying you're big. I'm saying if you want it to be the same story. But it's so unfair.

It's got to be that crazy. Where people go, like, I can't believe Monica likes. Guar. I don't think it's going to work out with me and Guar. Oh, let's put it another way.

Now, he's turned to corner. But there was a period where Marilyn Manson could have been the thing. Because he right after bullying Colleen Vine, and all we really knew is like, Wow, this guy's way fucking smarter and more thoughtful than we knew. And you were super into it.

And you came this little good girl from a podcast in you. Approaching him. Good girl. It would, it would catch his attention. I am not interested in people.

In people who like to scare other people. Okay. So it's not going to happen. Anyway. Guar call me.

Yes. Hit me on Instagram. Okay. So he has nasal polyps, unfortunately. Jason.

Yeah. That sounds rough. nasal polyps are soft, painless. Non-cancerous growth that develop in the lining of the nose or sinuses.

They are often associated with chronic inflammation and can cause nasal congestion, or ready nose and impaired sense of smell. Do you think I have nasal polyps? I thought I had allergies, but maybe I have some. I doubt I have polyps because I get the screen all the time.

The, uh, the, but exam. Coinoscopy.

And they've never found a pallet.

So I'm looking in your nose. No, but I'm thinking if you're a pallet, be person, you're a pallet, be person. I don't want to make that connection. Everyone get a colonoscopy. Um, well, though, that cells are all my symptoms.

No, you have a, you can smell things. I don't know. Remember, I smelled your shirt the other day. And we couldn't smell anything. No, you walked in and you were like something smells funny.

That no one else smelled. And then I assumed it was made. It was smelling my polyps. Maybe they smell musty. Well, that's possible.

Well, anyone can get them there more common in adults. Particularly those with conditions like asthma or allergies. Treatment options range from medications to surgery, depending on the size and severity of the polyps. So he want, he needs surgery, but he doesn't want to get it.

Scary. Very scary. And when you're, that's your career. I know. Get in there and messing around, monkey and around.

Although, you know, it's funny speaking of surgeries in people getting plastic surgery. Yeah. You know, it is like, people are really willing, nearly with their, their face.

And their face is what got them there on the first place.

The money maker. Yeah. It's tricky. I think facelifts have evolved.

“I think they too have like gone through the same radical progress all medicine has.”

I think they're different than in the 70s. When burrenals was getting them, you know.

More people are getting them.

I think that they're different now too.

“I think there's like different versions that you can get that aren't just like, you know,”

the burrenals kind of. I don't know. I think it's still like. It's still in a little burrenance surgery, I think. But yeah, you got to be careful.

Yeah. I keep hearing their very common. Are you hearing a lot of people apparently? Yes, apparently. Have them.

I. Have you had one? No. Okay. No.

But then. I would love one. But one could I do it. One would I be able to recover? Yeah.

Yeah. Every day of the year. Yeah. Um. I don't think you should get it.

I'm not good looking enough like that's not my brand. You know, if I was like a pretty boy or gorgeous, I'd have to. That's my thing. Well. And I'm just kind of like someone wrote.

Uh, and a poem on a common.

I always like talk to camera to explain why the episode wasn't up.

And I got a wrote. Your face looks like a scrotum. Okay. But that's also because is that accurate? No.

It's not. But I did watch the video. And I was like. Why is he holding it like that? You thought it looked like a scrotum too.

I didn't think that but I did think. Um. He is putting. Zero effort into like making himself look. How he actually looks.

Like it was like held it kind of a weird angle. And then you're like rubbing your eyes. Yeah, you know why? Why? Because it was on the couch.

And I'm like, I got a dress this. It's so frustrating that people think we just didn't put an episode out. Right. And then I'm in my house and my kids are running around. I'm not trying to show too much of my internal personal space.

So I'm like trying to find an angle. We're here. No kids are running by. Yeah. You know.

“And I so I think it was a it was a function over fashion.”

I understand. I understand. I understand.

Well, the problem is when fixing it's down now.

Anyway. The episode. Oh, the is you took the. Yeah, did no longer was relevant. Oh, wow.

Well, then no one can see what we're talking about. You were a little disappointed with the angle. Well, I was like. He's really gotten wrecked. She could have talked to me about this before he did it.

And then also like we could have held the camera a little different or something. Anyway, um, because people find everything like what's funny is so I kept seen in the comments like, yeah, shut the door the ACs on. And I immediately get defensive. And I'm like, the door was open.

They think that we had the door open. The AC was on. No, they're talking about a little piece of paper that says on the door. Shut the door the ACs on that they're reading backwards. It's not live.

Oh, wow. I had to dig in this video to see what the hell they were talking about. Oh, wow. And that's what it was. That's why like I had to hold it. We're just, you know, you can see this.

You can see this. You can see this. You can see this. You can see this. You can see this.

You can see this. You can see this. You can see this. You can see this. You can see this.

You can see this. You can see this. You can see this. You can see this. You can see this.

“This space is already exposed to like, like, so it's just like check, you know, just like, you know, just like, maybe,”

check in with me. I have a lot of thoughts about it. I have a lot of experience in um, yeah. Okay, broken bow records.

We said he joined in. 20. Oh, three. Yeah. I was really grateful that he talked about it.

Me too. Because that's a really vulnerable heart thing to talk about. Yeah. And I was happy that he did impress the heat. Yeah.

I was really grateful that he talked about it. Yeah. And I was happy that he did impress the heat. I was really grateful that he talked about it. I was really grateful that he talked about it.

Me too. Because that's a really vulnerable heart thing to talk about. Yeah. And I was happy that he did impress the heat. He did impress that he did.

Yeah. It was in 2017. It was really bad. Deadliest mass shooting. Uh, by a lone gunman in American history.

Oh, horrendous. horrendous. Um, and. I can't imagine being. After show.

Yeah. Being the person that has all these people here. You know, that happened at our, a live of mine. The guilt. I got over.

Oh, my God. Um, but then we talked about us sent him doing SNL. And then he was saying that he wrote his own. Like he was like, I'm not having anyone. Right.

Anything for me. For that. Um, so he wrote with his people, I guess. And he said this. I'm Jason Aldeen.

This week we witnessed one of the worst tragedies in American history. Like everyone, I'm struggling to understand what happened that night. How to pick up the pieces and start to heal. So many people are hurting. Children, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, and they are all part of our family.

So I want to say to them, we hurt for you and we hurt with you. You can be sure that we're going to walk through these tough times together every step of the way. Because when America is at its best, our bond and our spirit are unbreakable. And then he played Tom Petties. I won't back down because he had just passed away.

Lot happened. Yeah. Yeah.

So, um, oh, and it was Gal Gadot.

Was the host? Um, okay. Well, that. Is that it? That's it?

All right. Love you.