Lizzo

I'm Dan Sheppard, I'm joined by Menacam House.

Hello. Hello, today we have...

“It's always an honor to have someone that's a one name artist.”

That's true, we call that up. You want to be pretty good to be a one name artist. I think that's called a mononym. A mononym that would make sense. Today's mononym is Lizzo, a four-time Grammy award-winning Emmy award-winning superstar

singer songwriter rapper and actor. Our albums are 'cause I love you, special, bitch, and her new book, which is adorable out tomorrow. Call Lil Lizzo, meet Sasha B. Fluten. This is great.

Wonderful, cute little children's book. It really is. About her love affair with Sasha B. Fluten. Yeah. It's lovely.

And Lizzo, what a party. Really fun. Yeah, buckle up. Please enjoy Lizzo. .

I just wanted to dance with you for years. Yeah, I wish I had more coffee, because then I would have really... We can rain check it. I would have brought the movie. Don't ever stand.

I see. Yeah, what is that? Cream top. Oh, that's coffee. From where?

Kmart. Kmart. Kmart. You don't have to look this? I don't know.

I think in Mexico they do. The fun. Get comfortable. It's a really good coffee shop, Mario. I don't know.

Okay, I've never had it, but it's very good.

Guys, when do you guys get this? I got like 40 minutes ago. So it's melted. So it's like... I'm just kidding.

Oh, I didn't know high maintenance like this. I was not prepared. I thought we were both from Detroit. I'm a diva, honey. Okay.

I'm a diva, honey. I'm a diva. Okay. Good. And in fact, I know we both lived at the same time.

Really? Yeah, because I grew up in the suburbs, but as soon as I graduated high school, I moved downtown. And you were there, because you were a little child. Oh, I was a child when you were downtown.

I'm 100 years older than this. Oh, that's right. Okay.

What part of Detroit did you live in?

I was the East Side, I grew up till I was about nine, and then I moved to Houston. So my memory of Detroit is more so like family, but I lived off a Chandler park drive. I don't know if you know about that. I know the East Side.

“Do you have any memories of like going down to Detroit River on for the July?”

We were going up hard. Where else? Belial. That's where it's at. We would do Belial.

Balled up park. Okay. And then it was horses after that. Did you do a family reunion on Belial? 'Cause that's the move.

Yeah, and did you wear matching shirts? We actually do have Kirkwood, family reunion, shirts. And we would play volleyball and baseball. Yes. Do you ever go down that insane slide that you go in the front of a potato sack and get

hearts? Yes. Wow. Oh, no. So you really, you're really great.

What up, though? And Belial is the most life affirming half square mile in America. Why is it? So it's a little island in the Detroit River. It was a public park and it was pretty good size.

And you would go on Friday nights and crews, or on Saturday and Sunday, it's family reunion time. That's what we did. Okay. And then you've got the matching shirts.

So as you're driving by all the barbecues, it's like orange, orange, yellow. Oh, funny. Yeah, yeah. And then in the winter, they would water down the trees. And so it would be like ice, tree, and we would like play.

And I had the most wild imagination. And I imagined there was like a family of polar bears in this tree. And I would slide in and I would be sitting at like ice tables. It's a real memory. I have.

Yeah. I just remember it was like one of those big pine trees and it was just frozen solid. And we would just run and slide and play. That's so fun. On ice.

I don't think kids today play with three with their phones.

“I think they have a video game where you slide under a frozen tree.”

I'm a best friend that was a willow tree. Indie Troy. Okay. Thanks for an off the channel parking bishop. There was this giant willow tree and it was my best friend.

And I was sit in the willow tree and talk to the willow tree. And I would use the leaves of the willow tree. Wow, it was a kid. I didn't know no better. But I would pluck them off and use them as a tail.

And I would pretend I was tails from Sonic and then one day, they drew a line across the tree. And I was like, what does this mean? And my mom told me, she was real, she was like, they're going to cut it down. And I was like, why?

And they're like, it's blocking. They told us that it was like a hazard and robbers were like hiding underneath it. So the city couldn't find them in the helicopter. So I was like, no, I'm not going to let them do this. So I was going to stand in front of the tree and be like, if you're going to cut this

tree down, you have to cut me down.

But first you got to go to school, honey. No. I know what happened next. I was like, okay, but it was a stone. Oh, no.

For weeks, I was inconsolable. That was my best and only for him. Giving trees. I was going to say, are you able to read the giving tree without getting hysterical? on fact that book is about me know that there was one night of the year that you were

not allowed to go outside after dark and that's October 30th. Yeah. Yeah. That was not so crazy.

“I remember that's not a thing anywhere. No, growing up there you think everyone in the”

country's got bevels and I am in the out when I moved out here. I've never met anyone that's

a nice new Texas is an open carry state. So I was like, surely they'll be driving around shooting events in the air on October 30th. Torching things, but absolutely not, but also I was a kid in Detroit. So Halloween even was a little dicey because it was like, oh, that was when I was putting razor blades in the chocolate. Which by the way, is that true? It's not true. It's an urban legend. I learned this in a class at UCLA.

There's never been a razor blade in a piece of candy ever. The only time there's ever been poison or something naughty and candy is a parent putting it in the candy of their own child. Oh my god. But there's never been a stranger. There's just dull and out poisonous or razor blade. Okay. So how did this happen? Right? Because I feel like back in a day before like social media, there were just commonly known urban legends. That was our social media. But that just

“means that social media is it's something deeper. It's something real. We had an expert on”

on these at one point. There is a math to them. There's something about the details are sticky. So like they went through like 10 that almost everyone had. It's like there's this famous one about a girl who goes on spring break and she meets a boy. She has sex with him, unprotected. Oh my god. And then when she's going to fly home, he gives her a present and he says, don't open the present until you're on the airplane. Do you know the punchline of this

one? Is this ring bell? She gets on the airplane. She unwraps the box and inside is a miniature coffin. And when she opens it up, there's a piece of paper that says, welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS. Okay. I think maybe because you all were super little there in the title of the AIDS thing. But when I was in high school coming up on spring break, that was being circulated. My school like listen, this happened to a girl two years ago on spring break and

Cancun so don't fuck around. And the expert was like, it's these details, the little coffin. That stay with you. I mean, it's stranger than it's like there to protect you. I guess, but it's all made up. Did you know the one about the needles in the chairs in the

“movie theater? No, that's what I was going to say. You're the same age. So that makes it. Yes.”

And I still look. Yeah. And it's because you just never know what could be in there. I agree.

Right. So with you on this. Now, what about the myth about? Okay. Now, I don't know if this is a myth, but our public toilet seats. Can you catch something? Anything. Any type of illness or sickness or disease from a public toilet. If you're a married man and you mysteriously end up with HPV. Yes. What are you doing? All this. It was made up by married folks to explain why they got an STD somewhere. Oh, they were saying they were saying like, you can get herpes from a hot tub.

Wait, so you can't. No, you can't. You're not going to get it. Well, you're going to rub the inside of your vagina on the seat. You think your blood cheeks are going to pick up some of the most of these STDs die when they're airborne. STDs, but what about like, um, you can get some fecal matter. Yeah, but that's not a dream. Right. Yeah. But again, you're going to have to explain how it gets from your blood cheek that you move it somehow internally. I don't think you want to write in

if they've experienced this. Well, it's going to be a married person. This is true. People get in the hot tub naked. Yeah. And then it can. And then they have sex. The heat kills it. But again, it's in 102 degree chlorinated water. Good point. Now, the other one that I was most fascinated

by, and by the way, had I never transferred schools. This would have never occurred to me. But I

went to an elementary, then a junior high, then transfer districts to another junior high. And then went to a different high school out of a different district, right? And every one of these schools had the exact same three rumors about the kids they didn't like. So there was the girl who got hot dog stuck in her vagina. Yep. I knew her. You know that one? Have that. The boy who got his dick caught in a pop bottle or a vacuum. And I would go to the school and they'd be like,

you know, Brad got it. And I'm like, no, there was a kid Trevor and my old school. They said that about there's no way both kids did this. Because you kind of believe the hot dog went about the girl in your school. She was a friend of a friend. I don't know. I went to like a black country kind of high school. So I feel like our stuff was like, there was a girl giving blow jobs in the annex bathroom and there was a long line. But I don't know if that's

under the bleachers. No, I'm more powered to her. But I'm really hoping she's okay. My god,

Jesus, when you think about like being in high school, when I was in high school, I really thought I was grown. I really thought I knew everything. But now I think about high schoolers. Fuck, I think about 20 girls. I'm like, they're babies. I know. They don't know anything. Protect the babies. Yeah. No, no. The girl who gave a blow job under the bleachers in my middle school was in six the grade. Jesus. And it felt fine. It was like, oh, it's happening. She's doing stuff. And now I'm like,

that's Delta's age. That makes it want to die. Yeah, don't bring her into it. But yeah. No, we're like, you start doing like, wait, yo, same fifth and sixth grade. And I was like, out, like you think back now and you're like, oh my god, my heart feels for babies. Yeah. A couple different girls left my eighth grade because they were pregnant. Oh, I had sex in the middle school. Oh, you're, I just saw you shave your eyes. No, I'm going to sludge shame you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, you're eyes betray you. You go, you go, oh, what? It's also, what are we talking about? The show's called Urban Ludges. I mean, I can buy

“a minute back. You should have listened before you can. And you're hunting.”

Okay. So what did mom and dad do in Detroit? They had multiple businesses. The most prominent business where I was born, I knew was a credit card business. So they sold credit cards.

My parents are always owned businesses together. As long as I've known them, you know,

before I was born, they probably had jobs and stuff and worked for people. But they've never worked for anyone. Since I was a kid and I have memories of passing out flyers to this credit car company on the weekends and putting them underneath car windshield wipers and making it fun with my brother and sister like a race. I couldn't get rid of their flyers first. So yeah, that's what they did. They're very collaborative. Where the siblings older younger older. I'm the baby.

I'm the mature baby tall sister short. The oldest is the run. You know, the little one is upside down. So why did they move to Houston when you were nine? I always say for the mortgage business. Okay. The mortgage business. Was there some heat on everyone? Listen, you know what it's like.

“You have to evacuate Detroit. You leave Detroit casually. You have to like flee. And I remember”

one day I was like in Detroit and then the next day I was in Houston. My mom was like, hey, we're going to move to Houston. I was like, no. And then I blinked and we were there. So it happened damn near overnight. Not a lot of history. That's why I'm asking him was maybe there's some heat. Maybe we're these credit cards. Some of them were maybe a little. No, I was just out of the credit cards. But I'll say my dad was a very infamous person. You either love somewhere you

wanted to kill him. Okay. Okay. Big personality. Yes, Libra. Okay. Yeah. What does that mean, Monica? Well, big girls. Yeah. Good at lying. Good at lying. Yeah. You might be a rising. Yeah. Well, that's what he might be. It gives that or maybe a little Pisces or Erie's a little bit rising. That's my rising. Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay. Gary. Oh, I have a double Virgo otherwise. So great. Yeah. What I love about you guys do like a astrology is like no man. You know, matter what. Yeah.

Y'all who like astrology and believe in it. No matter what it is, you guys are equally pumped.

“That's what's neat about it. It's like there's no strad of what's good and bad. It's just your”

Pisces. Oh, great. Oh, you're a capricorn. Oh, because it's good to know. I think you can tell who really is into the charting of it all and who's just like early horoscopes kind of into astrology because they'll be like, oh, oh. That's because you have a very basic understanding of the signs, but all the signs are great because we're made up of all of them. We're made up of the stars. You know, it's really that. And I think we really nerd out because we like, I'm speaking for you,

but yeah, I like Sailor Moon. It's an anime. I thought it was one of y'all's gurus, you know, is a lot about it. That's it. It's not like an astrologist's name. Sailor Moon. That is a fireman in the crowd. Yeah, Sailor Moon, like as an astrologer. You can take it. If Nile could take a Gucci will let me have the name Sailor Moon, they're not going to come after you on Instagram, he is locked in. That IP is Barbie deep. They probably already own the handle on Instagram.

The Sailor Moon handle stake. It's taken. We haven't looked but we're feel pretty confident to take it. Master Sailor Moon, there's something there though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's something I know all your things. So you had you had cornwall click. Oh, you know my music thing, Scotchard. Yeah, we're girl,

always three hours. Girl, three hours. Yeah. I spelled it a lot today. So I'm like, two hours or four

hours. I used to lie now. It's very thin. So was it Sailor Moon? Sailor Moon girl. Sailor with three hours. Get the mouth here. You guys now call on it. We have a lot of witnesses. I know, oh, our, our, our,

Sailor Moon dresses a cow. And actually, I was going to be Sailor Moon for Halloween. I was going to

be a cow dress to Sailor Moon. That's a lie. That is fantastic. That is fantastic. You're leaving here today with something. It'll have been worth your wife. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you

“land down in Houston. And do you remember that being a overwhelming transition or did you take to it?”

Of course, I've read little Lizzo and Sasha B. Fluten. Yeah. So I know that version of the story, but what was your overall, did you feel fish out of water? Yes. I think that it was a culture shock because I was like, I don't want to see horses in the road instead of cars. And then I was very dramatic. And I did see horses and was like, oh, shit. Like, hey, so that was big. But also, my entire family is in Detroit. And my church was my whole family. Like, versus in Houston,

there are mega churches where it's just a congregation of the people from the city also by the way,

the pastor is flying in on a helicopter coming down, preaching, getting back in the helicopter flying to his other mega church. So he can spread the word quicker. Exactly. But our church, the main room was the size of this. Was there music in that church? Yes, the choir of my cousins and aunties, the bands are my cousins. The pastor is my uncle. It's all my family. It scares me. I say this all the time. I'm not religious. And in fact, religion scares me a bit. But I do fear it's decline because

like, yeah, we just had Anderson pack on. He learned to play drums at the church. Yes, we're all those kids in the decline of that. Like, were they going to get the music education

“scares me a little bit? That's what I'm worried about, too. I don't even think there can be”

another Whitney Houston or anyone close to her because church is so formative. You're born with the gift, of course. But in church, you kind of learn how to release your inhibitions. There's something about catching the spirit and there's something about a Holy Ghost and there's something about church music that allows you to express yourself in an unhibited way. And that's what Whitney brought to secular stages. She brought the church to the club. You're also already in community

which is already a heightened state. And then you add on music, which also is a heightened state. And it kind of can reach a level that otherwise it can be. And everyone's rooting for you in the church. Like, no one's at church. There's no haters at church. That's bad. Because it's not like, not, I'm sorry, somebody calling me. Oh, you can answer it. No, it's my driveway. Can we peep this case room? Oh, it's really nice. No, I didn't know why your person is so big

and now I do. Because what other person with that phone fit in? Wow. This is from Sailor Moon, it's her crescent ones. So she's like, you really are under. Make up. And then the power has come out of it and she turns into Sailor Moon. Yeah, but I also hate touching phones. It burns my fingertips. Sorry. We were talking about something. Church, church. People rooting for you. People rooting for you because it's not about that. It's about God. So we're singing for God.

“We're using our talents and our gifts for God. And I think that's the difference.”

There's a humility in it. Yes, because when you think about pop music and in the pop space, most singers are singing for the coin. They're singing for the check. They're singing for the glory, the approval, the approval because they have to. But when you see a person who was anointed and who is singing for a higher purpose, it just hits differently. I don't see it anymore. It's declining at a rapid rate. So in Houston, what church should you end up at? One of the meggos?

We ended up at a meggos. Uh-huh. Did the pastor ever have a scandal while you were there? Because what did they also like to do with the private chances? They also like to get in a little trouble in the sheets, it seems. You know, I went to a few churches. I'm not going to name names because we don't want, but I went to a few meggos, but I will name what I went to like wood for a while. I remember when Pastor Joe's father had passed away because he was the head of like wood.

And I remember when he passed away, there was a huge billboard. It was like, we're going to miss you. And then Joe begrudgingly took over. Oh, yes, he was like the young cool pk. Oh, my. Oh, my. But I remember he took over and it just started going crazy. He bought the Charlotte Hornet stadium, right? That's Joel steam. Well, he bought the arena that I know about. Yeah, this dude on Zorinas. Yeah. And then moved the church into that arena and I was like, what a big ball. And now I was driving

by him on a highway. Just let me see what it's all about. And I checked it out. So I did a lot of church

hopping. But my family, I think they were very turned off. Our first year there, we went to church.

And it was a mega church. And it was New Year's Eve. Actually, I remember we went to church. And, you know, we prey into the New Year. There was a lot of issues. I feel like my family was very uncomfortable. But it's a weird story. There was a huge power outage at midnight. And everything shut down.

And when that happened, he was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like that was a sign that we shouldn't be going to these churches. So my family stopped going to church when I was very young all together. The only one who continued to pursue church in congregation. And eventually with my best friend, I found a church in was very small. And we would go together. And it was so small that like, we would have to move locations. He would rent out buildings. And sometimes they wouldn't make

rent. So we would move to another building. But wherever we were, we would always come together.

It would be the same congregation. We would sing and we would play. And it was very, very grass roots. And I loved it. Because I was hanging out with my best friends on the weekend. But I also

“loved it because it gave me a place to be sacred. I crave that. Yeah. I think it's important.”

And so how did you do with the other kids in the school? Um, you said they were country. Were you in a rural area? Maybe I was in a swat. I wasn't a South West I leave Texas, which is Southwest of Houston. So this is Houston and the H as we like to say. And then there's the North Side, South Side, West Side with Katie. And then there's East Side, which we don't really

go over there. Because that's basically Louisiana. And I was down here in the swat. Okay. So it's

all the greater Houston area. But we was in the swat down here. Mine's you 30 years prior. It was all cows in that area. Okay. So there's still fields. Down Highway 6. There's just fields. Oh, plantation. Yeah. Prison. Yeah. Planned. Yes. Exactly. And very much that. And so when we moved into our neighborhood, we were the second house. I remember when the neighborhood was being built in our house was being kind of put up. It was all grass. And then it developed really quickly. And it

became real country urban. The culture moved very quickly. My sister ordered me. We went to the same high school. Ellsick was very kind of artsy. By the time I got there, it was the trap.

Yeah. Like four years for it to be the trap. It was fun, though. I love high school. Middle

school is where it was rough. You was out here cracking and shit. That was my funny enough. Mine was born 87. You were born an 88, 427, 88. And that is my peak year of my entire life. And I've had a charmed life. But sevens grades the best year of my whole life. It went all downhill in high school. What happened in high school? Okay. So in eighth grade, I was 5 11 160 and ninth grade I was 63 150. So I lost 10 pounds. Group four inches. This nose came in. But this all didn't come in.

So it's just a huge nose terrible hairdo. My brother had me get a perm and it was long and bad with a perm up top, huge nose, acne, rake figure. It just was a bummer. Brand new school. What's wrong with being tall? It's okay if you're tall unless you're 150. And 63, that's not enough weight on that frame. You can only, yeah, I was real being pulley. Also, they were calling you being pole and shit. Well, I fought so they were fighting them. Yeah, I fought. Yeah, my body shaming goes both

way or worse. Nobody likes what they got period. Yeah, but also if somebody's mean enough,

“they'll find a way to make fun of you. Oh, of course. If you want to talk about my nose,”

I was devastated, right? Or my act. Well, I remember it was my shoes. There would be like, oh, slouchy shoes, your shoes, slouch. Oh, like, like, yeah. And also that means nothing. What does that mean? What's a slouchy shoe? I don't even know. I'll have wide feet. Oh, so my shoes were kind of slouch on the side. And it's like, back in, I don't even know. I used to bind my feet. I found that like Cambodian women, but I find their feet in middle squads, binding my feet with tape.

So that my shoes went slouch. So my airs forces would stay crispy on the side because if I had a little slouch on the edge of my air forces, somebody would see it and it'd be the end of the world. You're binding for with those gals were binding for lying to generally. Yeah. I think they're binding all around. They're trying to have the tiniest teeth. Oh, they had you've seen those x-rays. It's all of my feet. Oh, of course. I had with the call and her own toenails. Oh, okay. I have no arts.

All right. Actually, I'm real. I was probably why heels hurt so bad now. I thought it was much

“enough. No, I think they've heard that. Yeah. I'm trying to not be slouchy girl. But middle school”

was, I think, the worst, you know, in Detroit, black people, we have what's called the Detroit Proper. So if you talk to my cousins, it's like, why are y'all doing the day? How's everybody doing? God bless you. I mean, I mean, but in Houston, everyone's very country. And if you don't talk very country, and you talk proper, you talk white. So I was getting the white girl. I like the anime. I wasn't wearing my hair like the other girl. I can't vote in feet. I can't vote in

I can't vote in feet. Oh, my goodness. My interests were just different. Japanese interests. Yeah.

hell. Uh-huh. Well made it cool. But like before that, it was like, why do you like that weird stuff? I didn't conform. I didn't shave my legs because my mom and my sister, they don't shave their legs. So I didn't learn how to shave my legs. And I still to this day, don't really need to shave my legs. But the girls were like, your legs are here. Why don't you shave your legs? You're weird. And I'm like, why are y'all just finding anything to say about me? So most of my bullying was

middle school. That was the brunt of it. But it was also the height of my delusion. So I didn't really notice because I was in a fantasy world. Yes, me too. Like I couldn't find my clothes after gym one day. And I was like, hmm, my clothes just disappeared. No, girl. They took your clothes and threw it on top of the locker so you wouldn't find it. See, we walk around the old gym clothes all day. Okay, so you were saved by your obliviousness of living. That's the word. Because I'm a

“oblivious to this day. I can't pick up on certain signals. I'll be like, wow, how did that get past me?”

That can be a blessing, right? You can save you a lot of pain. It might be learned. It might not be something you just are. Your brain might be protecting you. It might also call it disassociation these days.

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to the point where like the teacher would ignore me. I was the only more raised in my hand. And I remember at one point when I raised my hand in class there go, dude, and everyone will start laughing. I was like,

“oh, you're laughing with me. Yeah. Yeah. You always make it fun to me. I kept raising my hand. So I did have a”

little bit of obliviousness with the teasing, but when I looked back on it, I was like, oh, no, it was really coming for me. On the other end of the spectrum, there was the very obvious, like, somebody called me fat ass every day. You know, it was like, what's up, fat ass? I had teachers, kind of make fun of me too, because I had really sweaty hair y'all. Well, he's in the beat down. Yeah. Yeah. And I was sometimes at the walk to school in humidity, because I wasn't far.

My brother and sister, my sister has very, very long curly, mind you, this is a weave, but really

long curly, Alicia Keys like hair, right? So she would always just wake up, winter hair,

and scrunch it in some moves. My brother very same. So he would just scrunch it with some moves. I'm the last baby. So they would tell me to scrunch my hair with some moves. It did not look like that. My hair's way more coarse, way more fine, way more kinky. I got like a actual afro. So I will wake up in the morning, wet my hair and scrunch it with some moves and look at how to ask Matt. Oh, no. And I will put my hair in these little uncalled wet ass pony tails. And I will go to

school and be like, this is so embarrassing. And I'm putting myself all the way out there. It was not matted. Okay, but it will mildew. Okay. Sure. Because I was sweating my hair and it's humid. And my hair was wet all day in the bun. Oh, no, it was in a bun. Yeah. It wasn't itchy. It wasn't itchy, but it was just a wet ass mildew-y ass bun. It was a wab, wet ass bun. Yeah, I know. You got that. From the top, make it dry. But I had to learn real quick in middle school, like my hair's not

like my brother and sisters. My hair's not like my mother and father. My mom had really long here touching her butt. My dad had a ponytail, Rico, swabbing. We did. I'm the only one with an afro.

So I'm like, I have to learn how to jazz it up. And I did. I got my first weave the last

day of eighth grade. And I remember I was walking through. And it was the last day of middle school. Because we were going all the high school. And they were like, oh, Melissa. Oh, Melissa. Like, everybody was gagged. I remember I had this little chocolate brown weave that I glued in myself. And my mom helped me glue it and flipped out the ends like this. I had a little fair of boss and I was like, yes. And it was very sandy and grease like. Yeah. And they were like, wow,

she's actually pretty. Wow, she actually looks nice when she does her hair. And so I took the energy in, went from Melissa to Lizzo. And so it was a big reset for high school. Yeah. You were shaving your legs, you had your hair right. Yes. So you had my legs for no reason by the way. Just a fit in her hair. Just a fit in her hair. And we stopped buying in our feet.

“And I was not buying it. Okay. We started getting wider shoes. I think I switched from”

air forces to what's the one in the strap? The reboc, Adidas? No, no, no. Which is the one that Fila, because I had a little rounder sit your way and I was like, I'm in the fila. It's like, y'all know about this. You don't know nothing about this. Yeah. You were you were bringing it back

They did it at my. Yeah. See, you're wrong. Oh, look at you. No, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, it's the fila's. Anyways, in the fact that well, yeah, we'll do it for the fact that. Okay. So you start playing the flute at 10 years old. Yeah, fifth grade fifth grade and you play all the way through to college. You go to college. But be even before that 14-year form the corn row click. How many of you three? There was four of us. Okay. And you were rapping. I was rapping.

So flute and rap happen in simultaneously. Flu first, rap second. And then you went to

university of Houston. Go cooks. You major in music performance in flute. Okay. And you did what three years there? I did about one and a half years before I chickened out. It didn't correlate with your father dying. Um, hmm. Yes, they were very close together, though. Yeah, no, same time. Okay. Same time. Yeah. That would explain it. But it was like, I dropped out and then he passed around the same time. It was like a year before he passed. I dropped out. And what can I ask

“what he died of? That's a great question. I don't know. How old was he? I think he was like 53. Yeah,”

way too. He was a baby. Like when I think about a non like, oh my god. Oh yeah, that's in five seconds. He had had strokes hypertension. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hypertension. He had congestive heart failure.

But like was always trying to like manage that. And honestly, he was like doing better. And I was

actually shocked. So it was quite sudden. You didn't have any sense that was coming. And where you guys close? I would consider myself a daddy's girl. You dedicated the book to him. I did. He told me that I was going to be a great flu player before I even thought I would be a great, but he was like super into the flu. And mind you, this is somebody who was very strict on his kids because he wanted us all to be very successful. My brother, he was like, you've got to do football. My brother's like

65 in high school. And he was like, no, you're going to play football in my sister. He's like, you're going to do this. And they kind of rebelled my sister and my brother wanted to do more arts. My brother, he can draw. He's like super talented in my sister is extremely talented in music and arts. And they wanted to do that. And I wanted to do this flu thing, which is music and arts. And I was like, sure, he wasn't going to fuck with it. But he was like, no, this is great.

Do this. Do this. Do this. And in my wrong world quick, I can name like seven great jazz sex role players. I can probably name like eight great trumpet players, even clarinet. I can't think of a real famous flutus, right? You know, black people, we don't say Chris Martin, we say co-play.

So he would always say you got to be like Jeff Rotal. Okay. But I didn't realize I thought his name was

Jeff Rotal. It's just a band. Yeah, that's common. His name is Ian Anderson. But my dad would always

“be like, you're going to be like, Jeff Rotal. So yeah, I think that was a big part of it. Because”

eight, there was a huge gap for what I provided. Oh, I just realized why you're saying Jeff Rotal, heavy flute in Jeff Rotal. Yeah, the Ian Anderson. He's the flute player. Yeah. And my dad would be like, you're going to be like, Jeff Rotal. I did not, I thought there was a black man because Jeff Rotal is a black man. Yeah, especially down in Houston. So I said, oh, Jeff Rotal, I'm going to be like Jeff Rotal. And I'm like, so I will always say that I just got a book of Ian Anderson flute solo and I'm like,

oh, that's his name. Oh, wow. But like that was our only kind of contemporary flute personal start that we knew of. Because everything else, there was the classical side that I was super into like Sir James Galway is my hero. So there was that side. But you think about yo yo mile besides Sir James, where is the yo yo mile of flute now? Where you're going to want late night shows and shit. Yeah, yeah, I can't think of a super famous flute. Yeah,

flutus. Is it floutist flutist? Yo, my whole life, I grew up. It was floutist. Yeah, literally recently, I'm telling you right after college, it was like, it's actually flutist. I think that's a Mandela effect.

“I think it switched from floutist to flutist. Yeah, because I remember us being like,”

no, no, no, it's floutist. Correcting people. Yeah, and now it's flutist. Okay, tomato floutist. Hello. Floutist sounds better. It sounds more fancy. I'm a floutist. Like one team, too. It like shares some DNA with flot. There's a little better problem around. If I was in a group of flute players, I would say flutist because I would be afraid to be looked down upon. Sure. Okay, well, they need to look up to you. But yes, but then talking to the lay person, you might say floutists.

Yeah, a muggle. You're like a muggle, like a non-music-free individual. Yeah. Well, the Harry Potter punched through everything. God, it got everyone in it. It's universe. What happened? Oh, just my reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think in your y'all's age, you love Harry Potter. It had no borders. Someone asked me recently. Why do you like Harry Potter so much? But it was such a young person asking a millennial. And I was like, oh my god, this is like a moniker of what

our generation. What was your answer? Because it's to me quite obvious. Oh, he did ask me because

well, because I read the books. And I was like, and I was present when the movies were coming out.

And it was like a really big deal. And he was like, so when did the books come out? And he was looking up the year. And I was like, oh, look up here. You like 1990s. Heaven. I was like, oh, look at that. Or as my kids say the 1900s. No literally. I was like, no, it was like 2005. Like, that's when the last book. Yeah, I was in line for the last book. I was also in line at the Barnes and Noble. Yes. Or like,

“sometimes you pre-order them, but you have to get in line. But I think part of it's because our”

generation, we were their age. Yes. Give or take a couple of years. But the main characters were our age. So we were growing up with them. Yeah. Yeah. The reason it was so successful is the same reason that you love goodwill hunting. And he's story about someone who's normal and average and finds out they're incredibly special. Is the most wishful film. And not even normal. They're

downtrodden, right? It's like, yeah. He's getting shit on by that terrible family lives with.

And then you find out, no, I am special. I kind of had a hunch I was special on that. And we all feel that way. We all think like, I think I'm special. Why doesn't anyone see it? So this book is about someone seeing how special you are and then getting to go with the other special folks. And we also want to find our tribe. So it's like, it's also like every story has this as Cinderella. But I don't think it, you know, I think you could go. It's the magic. But that's just the fun stuff. But the real human

stuff is like, hey, I'm really special. Why doesn't anyone see that? Like, if you want a successful children's story, start with child who doesn't feel special, give them purpose, make some and feel special. And then add your own magic to it. I think that's the true story of childhood and growing up. Yeah. And by the way, we all deserve to feel special and be seen as special. But

it doesn't happen. And the more relatable your hero is, the more you can see yourself in it.

“And that's why I wrote little is on me, Sasha, be floating. Yes, even the kids we thought didn't”

feel that way for felt out, right? Yeah. You know, even the kids that were in the cool click, there were four kids cooler than them and they couldn't figure out why it was. You know, it's kind of a universal human. We all just think everyone knows what's going on, feels like they've got it figured out. But no one does. Those kids, like the cool kids, who are fortunate to be cool and feel special at that age. I think eventually, though, they have to learn how to find their special

that's not external validation. And oh, because you're so hot or because you're just so effortlessly cool, you're just the guy. They have to figure that out later in life. I was a nerd. So I didn't have that at the reverse. But yeah, I think that can be harder in some ways when you've lived a whole life with other people telling you something. And then you're like, who am I? Yes. Okay. So back to college. Was there a specific thing that had you leave? Yeah, pressure. College was wow.

When you are a music major, you got to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and you're actually extremely independent. You wake up at the ass crackdown. You all have like a big recital that you have to complete midterm and at the end of the year. And so every day, you have to log hours in the rehearsal room, which is this scary little room by yourself. Because there's all these rehearsal rooms, but they're pretty thick because they're like foam booths. Yeah, because you don't

want to bleed the sound. Everyone's rehearsing. So I'm in this room in this old ass building, which I know was haunted. I hate ISO booths now when I record music. Like, I don't go into the booth. Okay. Like, I record in the control room with everyone else, with a mic like ETSD. Yeah, because when I go in those rooms, I'm like, so I'm just realizing that's what that's from. You weren't even pumped about the size of this room. Too small. You commented.

I'm cool. You look like a big space. No, she said the church was this size. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. It wasn't in a pejorie. It's not the size. He's it. Okay. When you guys done this, I think you've done a great job. The hymn cameras are nice. Yeah. Meta ain't got nothing on y'all. Yes. Anyways, you're waking up. You're hitting the marching band field at like seven in the morning. It's

one band one sound. Then you break and then you have to go and you got to find the practice room. You got to log hours. You got to rehearse rehearsers. Then you have to go to like regular fucking school. And that's the part that really pissed me off because I felt like I was in fame. And I was like, I'm waking up and I'm doing music. This is the thing. I'm an independent woman.

“And then you have to like go to math and English. And I'm like, why don't I do one this again?”

Yeah. I did this for 18 years. You needed to go to a conservatory. Yeah. That was the plan. After you of age, I was going to go to the Paris Conservatory because that's all I wanted to do. And I was kind of getting exhausted of that because then it was like, of course, the conservatory was great. But then I'm also a jazzy black girl with friends. Yeah. I went to college with close friends. And so there was parties and I was wrapping with them.

And I was in a wrap crew, the nightlife. And then waking up at seven in the morning. And it was like wanting to be in a sorority. And then waking up at seven in the morning.

really stressful to me. That was like one of the hardest times of my life. I feel like I just kind of

gave up. And then so you had the shame of quitting probably. Yeah. Do you have regrets about that or not? No. Good. Well, worked out. Yeah. You worked out. But I bet for a year didn't feel like for a few years. I just yeah, gave away my one shot at making a living at this for a few years. Because if I had had any ever kind of degree, if I was pursuing like a doctor or nursing or teaching maybe to this day, I'd have regrets because I'm like, it'd be nice to have that. But I was pursuing

“music performance in flu and now I'm performing music in flu. So I really honestly think I deserve”

my doctor it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure if you get this speech, so I'll give it to you. I played with the National Symphony Orchestra last month. Have they not invited you to give a commencement speech? I would love to do that. University of Houston. Get your shit together. Oh, duh. Go down there. Brookfice, honorary doctorate. Yeah. Okay. Why miniapolis? Like if I'm you and I'm thinking about moving somewhere to pursue music, I guess I'm probably thinking LA New York Atlanta.

Hello. Outside of France, why are we going to Minneapolis? Which I wasn't even aware of. I didn't know he lived there. It's a really funny story. I was in the indie side of things. So I wasn't on the industry. Like if I wanted to be an industry girl, maybe I would have moved to New York or LA, but I was in a rock band at that time. And I had been going back and forth with this producer via Zoom and I was like writing with him and he lived in Denver. And I was still in this rock band.

And I was like, man, working with this guy's pretty cool. And he was like, hey, I'm going to move to Minneapolis. He was like, you want to come with me and be in my band. I was like, many apples. I didn't really think anything of Minneapolis back then as far as like music because I was in my own Houston bubble. I went to South by Southwest that year, which is a music festival in Austin, Texas. And every fucking person I met was from Minneapolis. Oh, really? Every band that performed,

every rapper. I was afraid from and they're like Minneapolis. And I would like link up with them. And we'd run around at party and have like the best time. And they were like Boofing vodka up their ass. And like eating Molly off the floor. Like it was just great time. I was like sleeping in my car and then they all like slept in the car with me because that was only but we didn't have a hotel room. I was like, these people are fun. And I was like, you know,

when I will move to Minneapolis because I had already made a bunch of friends at this festival. And I was like, I'll just link up with them when I get to the Twin Cities. And I did. And I still have my hesitation.

And then I played a show there. And it was like our first show. Oh my god, the varsity club.

We played the varsity club. Anyone who knows Minneapolis knows. And I remember I performed and

“afterwards someone came up to me. It was a girl. And I remember she was like, do you live here?”

And I was like, no, and she was like, you need to live here. We need someone like you. Oh, wow. And I was like, easy. Okay. They're all like, you know, got to tell me twice. I was like, wow. I felt so appreciated and loved in that community. But you know, they love on their artists. They love on their local artists. They have such a rich local music scene, especially when I was there. I felt like there was something in the lake water,

man. There was rhyme sayers. So there was atmosphere and doom tree. And you could sell out every venue in the city with just local acts all in one night. And we would like bike and run over to the different venue. I don't know what it is about the Twin Cities. But it's not just the music scene. It's the restaurant culture to the mom and pop shops, the family owned restaurants. There's so much love and support in that way. It seems like it's kinder than some of these other

big cities. Yeah. And it's got like a Portland kind of feel where like they really just

“give into community. I think it's super, super community-based. There's nothing like it.”

So you got big there. Yes. You got big. Like you had songs that were big there. And they wrote about you there. Yeah. And you kind of were a queen there. I feel like that's a great place to learn how to do all this. I felt very appreciated. I also feel like I wasn't anomaly because I was this black girl raised in Kojit Church. Who could freestyle rap like a Houstonian or like Mike Jones. And I was up in the Twin Cities,

just this anomaly of a person. But I could also jam and rock bands and I played the flute. Yeah. And they were just like, "Who the fuck are you?" Like it's so weird. And I was in like 12 bands. You know, I played flute with my friend who was a rapper. I was in this noise band. I was in two girl groups. I was in an electropop band. I was in so many bands. And I would pop up on stage and collaborate with the other rappers. I was doing anything for free. How did you end up

recording with Prince? I was on my second girl group. That was fun. Those were the days. But

our group was featured in a documentary that was on NPR, the current. And they were highlighting

in this documentary. And then I remember we got a call from the radio station. It was just like, hey, somebody wants to work with you. We were like, "Who?" The rest was history.

“So Prince is using the radio station to book his stuff? That's how he found us. Oh. By the way,”

the current is an incredible station. It's the NPR station there. And just be love it. When you

heard your song on the current for the first time, it was a big deal. We would pull up and we were all in the car together. And the first time they played our song, we turned the volume up. We were like screaming. It's like being on morning, it comes eclectic back in the day. What is that? That was the L.A. NPR morning becomes eclectic. The garden state soundtrack was the current running sound intractive morning becomes eclectic when that movie came out. The guy who would curate all those songs

has now done a lot of music supervision and shows and movies. Because he says impeccable taste and it was where you would go to discover the coolest new bands that would become these huge bands. So I'm imagining it's the same thing as the current. Wait. You're known at now? Hold on. Your garden state, am I tripping? No, but people think I am. No, my doppelganger is Zack Brass. Zack Brass. I am not Zack Brass. I was sitting my brain was sitting. Yeah, you started getting

“scared. Like, I was like, I got the wrong guy. Podcasts. Have I been on? Is this entire time?”

No, this is for me. He gets asked to take pictures all the time as me and vice versa and we just do it. Is those names have the same? Zack, Zack, yeah. Yeah. White voice with big noses. We're at our names. That's just really fucked me up. Use that. Use that style. Yeah. Use those who don't get it. Anyways, have you seen scrubs? Let's change subjects. Have you seen scrubs?

Look at that. I'm hearing none. And without a pat on the phone.

But I for a second, I thought I didn't. I said, oh, shit. Now it's confusing. No, you fucked me over.

Intentionally. All right. Rewind. That was what you asked. You didn't say, like, oh, yeah, I love your movie. Oh, yeah. Okay, Captain, my rap. Yeah. If you rewatch this tape, you will see. No, look on your face was very genuine. You got really scared about time space. You were like, where am I in the universe, right now? Yeah. Okay. Anyway, we're back. Those scrubs. I don't know. Check it out. It's a new season. Yeah. We brought it back. Anywho. Stop. Okay. 2013. First solo album, Lizo Bangers.

This is the one that got really big in Minneapolis in particular, right? Yes. I was able to sell out first avenue. And the song, "Batches and Cookies," that one was getting played on like, BBC radio. This whole Minneapolis chapter is really fucking cool. Because I don't know if you went to New York if you had forgotten all this encouragement and like started fortifying your confidence.

“Or if you'd gone to LA, if you'd gone to Atlanta, like, I think there's a special accident that”

happened that you go to South by you end up there. And then you're loved there. Yeah. And you kind of learned to be loved. You got to learn to be loved now. You do have to learn to be loved. And I also

feel like I'd never felt like I really belonged anywhere fully as an artist. Because when I was in

my rap crews, I was still writing pop music. And then I also was listening to rock. And then when I was in my rock band, I still wanted to shake ass and freestyle rap. And then gospel music don't let you do none of that. Yeah. And flute really don't let you do none of that. Yeah. And then I got so many apolis. And for some of my reason, all of it was okay. Prince is the fingerprint of the city. And Princess doing crazy guitar solos on an armbees song. Yeah. And the 80s. He's going to a

Bob Seeker concert. And go, why is that guy in arenas? Oh, he does bail. It's I'm going to do bail. It's he's a neat, you know, Malcolm of all these things. And so I think the vibe is like very embracing of something that's a little left to center or avant-garde. So there's like a beautiful place for you to learn to do this. Like weird was okay. Yeah. Right. Right. And I was like, oh my god, it's okay to be weird. I would say that all the time. I just feel like Minneapolis, the people

there are so supportive of black people. I just felt loved and appreciated for who I was. And it wasn't called white girl. I was actually the blackest person in the room with that. That's like, oh, you kind of country like me. Yeah. That's a first for me. That's a first for Elmo. So yeah, not I loved my time. It was magical. At that time when you were kind of a big thing in Minneapolis, did you ever think like, yeah, this is good. Like this would be a

enough. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh my god. Like you made it. Making it. I hate to be that person. It's like, no, not actually making it. I hate those people. But I have to be very clear about

I could play this show and I can pay my bills really well. I can tour and make money. And I can give money to my mom. I can help. My people out. And if my people need to come stay with me, they can come stay with me. And I can eat wherever I want and the nicest restaurants and many animals. That's it, boom. You do whatever I want or a nice flight. You're nice version first class. Yeah. Sometimes it was really that. You have a nice car then. You care about cars. Hold on,

give me a second. I did not drive for a long time. Oh, I broke. Did I get around. Yeah. How the fuck can I get around many after they have buses or trains? I can't believe. I'm sitting back and realizing, I don't know how I got around because I stopped driving because I heard a little little device. My life was not the UI. Okay. Sorry. That's a very common reason to lose your

license. So I've never know the UI. Nothing like that. But you know, she was the HPD. I like to

fuck with me. And my license was basically hot for like a decade. My license got unhot when I moved to LA. Finally I say, can we? Let me hire a lawyer to figure this out. So I go to the DMV. I'm scared to go to the DMV. I don't know if that's an experience for you. But I have a fear that if I go to the DMV, I'm going to get arrested and put into prison because I know that can happen to people.

“That's how you get. Or they'll be like, hey, everything's fine. You might just stepping out of the”

vehicle for a second. Everything's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, shit was hot for a while. So boom, right? I'm like, okay, finally, I have enough money to pay off whatever this weird thing is why I can't get my license was holding my license up. I paid off. My shit's still hot. I was

sorry. Chest out. I finally get a license. I walk up. I was like, oh, no, sorry, you can't get one.

My job scared. I'm like, yeah, I think it. You have Marshall's. No, like, no, you just can't. So there were two Melissa Jefferson. Two drivers licenses out there with my face and my name and they both had a record. Somebody got your ID and started having a good time on the highway. To this day, don't know. Westwood. It's him. It was you. I was right here three times. I had to do something. I imagine the gang. So I finally paid that one off and now I can drive.

So I did not have a car. I did not drive in Minneapolis. I wrote in the back of people's cars. You know what Minneapolis. I love you so much. I wrote in the back seat of people's cars. I slept on people's couches. I slept on people's floors and food tons and guest rooms. I ate meals at y'all cooked. I ate free. Poutine for playing shows, drink free beer for playing shows. That city really did take care of me. Perhaps Blue Ribbon. PBI. Puget in the North. Puber. That's right.

“That's out too. Is it? I think it's just big. Yeah, when you're driving, I've driven a motorcycle”

across the northern part of the country. When you're going through Wisconsin, people can have a bar in their house. The liquor license is very weird and everyone has a perhaps blue Ribbon sign hanging off the floor. Yeah, I love that shit. In Minnesota, we get a bit of that too. You do get a little bit of PBI. Yeah, yeah. And then there's to Katay down south to Katay, Lone Star, beer, right? I don't think people fucking would be in a more. In the south, they're still. They're going to breweries and stuff. I was

just there. You was at a brewery. I'll about to say some wrong with people who are brewery, but I don't want to go. I don't mean the judge, but you don't need a judge. I thought you were tasting nasty after nasty. But I don't like beer, but my friends still like it. Who are there? I carbonated piss. It doesn't taste good. We're having our first dust up because you're wrong. Beer's delicious. It's been with us for millennia. He does have a beer come, so I shit like

you. But nasty. That's a good car. I'm sorry. But beer's delicious is a crazy statement.

Okay. Beer's never been delicious. The only time beer's delicious is a crispy,

a concrunchy blue moon. What's the orange juice? I do like it. So I guess you do like it. With orange juice, you got to sweeten it up a little bit. Orange slices of ice? I will squeeze the orange peel and then dump it. But you don't actually need proper can of dumped in there. You just want the orange slices. But I need that orange flavor. You want all citrus pop? I can do that. I could do all citrus pop a little sweetness.

“Sure, sure, sure. Sweetness. They call it a Colorado Mamosa. Oh, that's what it is.”

Okay. And you'll fuck with that. I'll fuck with that. Yeah. Okay. I want to talk about some important. Okay. Okay. Come on. So in 2014, in the wake of Lizzo Bangers, which is like very well reviewed and you're kind of really getting some traction and some momentum, you do this interview for style like use what's underneath. Yeah. Yeah. And in this interview, while talking about your body, you start taking your clothes off, which then leads to my skin. And I do wonder, when you look

back on your life, don't you think of some of these decisions that kind of came out of nowhere?

magazine, maybe I end up there, but how much longer or how much later would have that been? I have a very auspicious life. I think toruses do though. I think we are like the forced gump of the zodiac. Okay. But like, I think about all these things, so that just taught a self-love class on Twitch. And somebody asked me, how did you learn all this shit about self-love? And I was like, my heart was broken in a million pieces. And I just started desperately

clinging to books and crystals and candles and prayer. And then I discovered self-love in my desperation to love people without conditions. And then I started writing all these songs about self-love. And now I'm the self-love guru. And now I'm teaching the self-love class on Twitch. It was like this weird, full circle thing where like, when I go back to 2016, clutching a fucking rose quartz and a black terminally in my apartment as about as big as a space.

I love using the spaces. Yeah. I would have never imagined the life that I have now or needing

that moment to have the life that I have now. It felt so impassing or not important. Just like the style like you, when I got that interview, I didn't even realize I was unprepared for the interview because I didn't know what it was. That's not what I was just doing. Pressing. I was just doing shit. I was like, I was kind of rolling up hungover to things, not in like a dark kind of way. But I would party a lot. And I would be like, what are we doing today? What are we talking about today?

“And they're like, you know, you have to remove articles or clothing. I was like, I don't have that”

many pieces of clothing on to remove. That's part of the interview. Yeah. My wig. Yes, part of the interview. So it's called What's Underneath. So you're slowly taking things off of the asks you question. So a lot of people come with layers of one. Oh, yeah. The people that know where they're going, come in later. Yeah. Yeah. I'm over there. I literally had to take my wig off because I had nothing to take off. I'm boring you with these Anderson packs stories. But another Anderson pack thing that's crazy is

he thought of the idea if I want to play tiny desk. You want to fuck Anderson pack. So bad. He really does. Dude, I think he is Prince. I think he's our Prince. He is unreal. That's smile. I know. A million times. He's a toxic kid. He can't not smile. He said he can't get his teeth in his mouth. Like really is a permanent mind. But you know, you can trick yourself into being happy. Yes. Yes. And he's done it. But he had the idea of I want to do tiny desk. And then he got fucked up and he

woke up and he was hungover. He doesn't want to go and tries to get out of it. And they basically force him to do it. And as you know, that's the biggest tiny cover. And then the find them. People are like, oh, he plays the drums and crazy. So yes, that same weird thing. It's like, you almost missed it. My tiny desk is also very underrated. Okay. So anyone listening. Just go watch my university of Houston. Get her to the commencement page. Go watch tiny desk. Watch scrubs. New season.

Wow. There's a new season for real. Yeah. For real. They relaunched it. It looks like it's really good. Yeah. Stay tuned for our share expert. If you dare. Why isn't big girl small world non-spotifier Apple? Damn. I was trying to listen to that today. And I couldn't find it every time. I get all live. Somebody go, I want to listen to humanize. I want to listen to humanize. Humanize is a music video. That's the one line. That's from

“that album. So you can listen to that. It's very Bjork. Well, me trying to be Bjork. If you want to know”

the unsexy answer. Yeah. Oh my god. This is I'm who fucking cares. It's over now. I already won the Grammys. So to be eligible for the Grammys, I had to take down previous works. Oh, why? Because best new artists. That's new. You could only have a certain amount of submissions or

whatever. Or not even submissions, but bodies of work out. Because I never submitted for the

Grammys before that. But bodies of work. And I had so many bodies of work out that they were counting them as albums. Or I don't even know if it was albums or songs out in the world. So I had to take down a shit ton of songs to be eligible for best new artists. If you then put them back up, they would take it back. I didn't even win it. So okay. I'm good. You know, I think Billie Eilish won actually which much deserved because I had been out for like a thousand years. But I said all that to say,

I changed the rules. Because now the Grammys came out and said, hey, now you can have X amount. It

“doesn't matter. You have to only have a certain amount of like well-known pieces to be eligible for”

best new artists. So that's why I have to gave me the rule breaker award. Because that's not the only

rule I broke songs that came out three years ago never went number one on the Billboard charts.

Like that just was unheard of. I was telling Monica that. Good as hell. No, it was truth hurts. Oh, truth hurts. Good as hell as well. That had been out for a minute. That came out in 2007. And I said to Monica, can you imagine having good as hell? And for a couple of years, you're

I was in it is for again. But my career was like top 10 billion. It hurts. Number one billboard.

“What is that like to have those songs that you must feel in your soul? Are worthy of that?”

Later confirmed, but in the period before it's confirmed, are you going like, well, y'all, I don't know what else to do. Well, here's the gag. Well, first off, one thing about me, I don't care if I flop or have the biggest song in the world. I'm a songwriter and a performer.

So I'm always going to be okay. There's more where that comes from. I'm like, I'll write one.

I got something to me. And I do think that there's a sort of scarcity mindset. What a lot of people because they're given songs. And when you're not hot anymore and you flop, they won't give you the hot songs anymore. So you're a trouble, but because I'm a songwriter and all these songs I wrote myself, I know that all I have to do is keep going and being myself. You know, so back then when that happened, I wasn't thinking like, why isn't this number one? Why isn't I was like,

once in the next, I was honestly first off, I thought where to help my phone was going to change my life.

“When I wrote, where to help my phone, where to help my phone, I'm like, y'all, let's go up, y'all,”

scared her. Nicki Minaj. You're like, everyone needs to get a hold of my ego. Okay, from paid attention, keep me in check. She, you know, we're all so we go with it all vaguely. No, nothing happens to this day with that song. You know, good as hell, true hurts.

I loved them. I believed in them. I thought they weren't credible, but I'd never known any

greater success than they had hit. So I just kept living. And they were all step ups anyways. Yeah, truth hurts was devastating for a lot of reasons. So truth hurts was devastating because I was like, yo, this song is actually really good. I love this video and I felt like a lot of people went dark on me who was supposed to support me at that time. And they kind of broke me down. And I was like, oh, I quit music. And then they were like, hey, don't do that. And I was like,

all right, I'm just going to make music and just talk to my fans. And not worry about nobody else. Not worry about no Grammys, no number one. Nothing bigger than what I got. I think that's actually incredibly good advice for anyone that's artistic to hear. I had two different people that helped me one time I had written a sketch while I was doing sketch comedy at the groundlings. And then I saw almost the identical sketch on Surian life. And some of the folks

that were at the show were writers on Surian life. And so I got all spun out. You know, I'm living in like a one-bedroom apartment. I've not made any money. I'm about size of this room. It's a big deal to me. And I remember talking to someone kind of higher up than me at the groundlings and saying like, two to a fuck. And this person said, if you think that's the only great

“sketch you're going to write, then you should go get a lawyer. Yes. If you think you are an endless”

well of great sketches, then keep a movement. And I heard that somehow. I don't know how I'm pretty whole headed. But I heard that. And yeah, I think it's just like, if you're an artist, just keep fucking you don't be a volcano man. Yeah. And now you look at the biggest artists in the world are people who have been out for a long time, putting out music consistently for years and not getting the appreciation they deserve. And then all of a sudden one day just pop in the fuck off. Yeah, yeah.

You know, thank you to the internet, thank you to TikTok, thank you to the fans who like consume it. So just keep fucking going use it. Oh my god, I use so much emotion. I use anger. I can't wait to hear the song that comes out of this interview. I'm so sorry. Oh my god, all the anger. I thought he was Zack. Zack. Zack. The tension between those. Zack. The song should be called Zack. Zack's a phone. The man. You signed in 16 to Atlanta. Good as hell comes out. 2019 you're in ugly dolls and you're in

hustlers. Also, first movie you're in mix of 160 million dollars. It's crazy. It doesn't have an

anybody. Wait, really? Yeah. I made 160 million dollars a big movie. You know, guys, I never really

paid attention because it's not your thing. You weren't setting up to me now. If your life was acting you would damn well know. I didn't really appreciate the music shit either, bro. Like, oh, really. I was performing at the AMAs and stuff and I was just kind of breathing through everything because of this obliviousness or as a self protection. It might be a combination of both. I really didn't smell the roses a lot. I just started appreciating and smelling the roses lately, but for the

most part, I'm like, I had all that going for me. I realized you feel like you missed it. I did miss that because that particular part of my career is never going to happen again. The discovery and the rise. That's never going to happen again. And it's scarier to be the person who's already famous and built in because there's one way to go. People want to bring you down. I'm so proud of you. I survived that part. Yeah. It's been inside. And then what's your Phoenix? You're good.

of impenetrable. Oh, but I now feel like a mama bear for other artists. I see when they like start blowing up. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's coming. Yeah, no, no, no. They make it. Yeah. At the peak of that, once you start touring in 2022 with special, you've hosted us. And I'll now, it's like, you're really at that peak kind of everyone in the world is singing to you, dancing you,

“watching you on TV. Didn't even really, really. That only down to you, really. I mean, that's what”

was happening. You know, but I know that you much, you're not a god. I'm comfy. I want to know how you do on those tours that are really, really long. Of course, we lots of doc love the doc. Do you get lonely? They're their waves. Are you happy then you're sad? I don't like to describe this. Being on stage in front of 20,000 people who came to see you, who love you very intensely. We got baby sitters to see you. I know. Oh, my gosh. Do you don't even get me started on that

part of the sacrifices. Yeah, you know. But the energy that they're giving you, imagine every person,

you love all in one room, screaming, affirming you. Yeah. It is the most incredible feeling.

And then you're not up there doing something you don't like. I'm up there singing songs that make me feel good. And I love my music. Yeah. So we're doing this together and it's this incredible high and there's these lights. And then you go and you sit afterwards. There's a massive come down just chemically. I think there's why so many performers are addicts because the only way to sustain that moment on stage once you're alone back in your room is to get

“fucked up. Yeah, I'm not calling you an addict, but I'm saying I think that's why so many are”

I mean, I probably have an addiction to food or something. Okay. You're going to have something you regulate. Yeah. And then I would just get very moody and like sad until it was time to get back on stage again. And then it was awesome. But I love touring. Like I love performing. And now I'm a way more balanced person that touring for that long, you're kind of raggedy. Like I was pretty raggedy. I know it looks so glamorous being glittery and diamondy and made up on singing songs.

It's just the wear and tear of travel. Anybody who goes on vacation knows that when you're done at vacation, even though you had a ball, you got to recover from the vacation because this travel is taxing on the human body. So you're into planes, you into trains, you into automobiles, you into buses, time changes, you're going faster than a human body should go way too

“often while I'm going as fast in a pressure fucking tube in the sky. And then you're in the next city.”

And then you're, ah, every fiber in your body you give to people and back then we were doing a radio promo because I don't think they really do that post COVID. I don't think meat and greets and all of that. But it's like radio station meat and greets. You got your real life meat and greets of your fans who came to the show. You got your soundtrack parties. You have your press. You have your promo post show. You got to talk to the suits and the ties. Yeah, you got sponsors.

So much interaction and energy and talking and connecting. I'm really good at that. I love that shit. But the human body only has so much. Yeah. And so I'd be really tired. But I would feel like I'm not allowed to admit that I'm tired. I'm in a very privileged position. Will you feel you'll be ungrateful if you acknowledge. Yes. Which is the great crime and sin of people who aren't eternally grateful if they've made it. Which is not possible for a human to feel eternally grateful.

The human version of me is like, Oh, I need a day off. You need a day off from your dream job. Exactly. That's great. No one's going to feel bad that you're tired on a wall tour. I don't even feel bad for myself. It gets yourself together. Yeah. Get up. Girl, get up. Yeah. So after that height, there was a valley. And I'm not attempting to relocate or get in any of the reasons there's a valley.

But I've certainly been in valleys. But I've never been on a mountain as high as yours before I was in

the valley as low as that. And so what emotionally was happening there and how did you regulate during that period when you're going going going going on a super high and also I wasn't even really perceiving how famous I had gotten. I feel like a regular girl in the Twin Cities walk into the bar going to get some cheese curds in a beer. I still feel like that girl. But the whole world is like everything I did was news. I had been going full throughout. It was like clothing line.

It was like TV show tour album actually really doing well. Like, oh my god. I didn't even know how well that album was doing. I wasn't paying attention. I was just doing, you know, making

my little TikToks. I had always planned to just like stop. My last show was in Japan on that tour.

Yeah. And I was not about to spend some time here. And I wasn't going to tour. I was going to take time to work on the next album. I had really planned to just like stop. But I also stopped while the world stopped fucking with me. And it was really weird because it was just like,

“yeah. And I was like, whoa, this feels like my life is over. Yeah. Okay, no quick question here.”

Because when I've had these things, some part of me goes, yep, I knew it. But she was going to drop. It's too good to be true. I didn't deserve it. I've had that fear. My whole life about everything.

And I don't know why it's a common thing with people who are successful. We are always looking

over our shoulder because I know with me personally, it started when we were in Detroit and then Detroit got taken away from my family, got taken away from me, church got taken away from me. And then after that, my dad died when I was 19, taken away. By the way, every time something kind of good's going, yeah. Right. Like you just found your shit in high school, your in college. It's taken away. Yeah. And so with the same thing and the success and the public perception

being super positive and being overly loved and people understanding me, I wasn't looking over my shoulder for a shoot-of-drop because I really genuinely was moving so purely. I really, which they say you shouldn't do just really show the whole world my heart. Uh-huh. You're like, your guard down. There was no guard ever. Yeah. You know, type deal. Like I came into this thing myself. And I was like honored myself. And I was just bumbling around as myself, unabashedly.

“So when everybody started hating me, I kind of didn't understand. And I think anyone in this position”

because it happens to a lot of artists. Like I happen to every artist. And especially now,

you look up and it's like, oh, now everyone hates them. What happened? Yeah. We never expect

that's going to happen to us. Do you remember there was a fight in high school? And like you'd see a huge crowd of kids running to go watch the fight that that happened in Houston? That was like we're ungrossed constantly. Like you'd get your locker and also the big mob is going, oh shit, you know, someone's going to get their ass kicked. They fire. The internet to me is that it's like it. The pile and you can see the big mob coming, you're like, oh, I got to get a piece of this.

I had experienced little waves of it, but this time after my tour ended, it was like legitimate. So I really did feel like my life was over because music had been my life. And I didn't feel like anyone wanted me to make music anymore. I only signs who a major label so I could help people, because I was cool with being an indie artist. But then I was like, but I'm making music that makes people feel better about themselves and seek love for themselves. Especially girls, especially

black, especially big girls, folks that deserve a champion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People who felt other. So I was like, I'll sign to it, Lannick, because if that means y'all will get my music out to more people, I think of my music as medicine. So I was like, oh, wow,

“did I cease to exist? He, right? It was really heavy. It was really heavy. And I think you have to”

kind of go to a very, very, very, very low place to be able to kind of float back up to the top. I had to stop making everything external about me. Everything I was happening outside. I was like, that don't got nothing to do with me anymore. Like who am I? Who's in my real life? See day to day.

Let me tell you something. It was nobody for a while. But can I ask this? Here's what I've been

guilty of. At moments that we've had great success that has been something I can lean on when I'm doing some other shit. Like for me, it was I had a relapse, right? And it was like, oh, this isn't good. We know this isn't good. We know that me using that good. I'm not an idiot. But then I go, man, this other thing's going so good. I'm just going to think about this. Like I had something to lean on that was pretty powerful for me. And I think if in the wake of me also

collapsing on that, and then also I don't even have the thing I had been leaning on, we're at a very lonely, scary spot. Like I don't even have the crunch now of success. Oh, my God. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I can't even really articulate it, but I understand what you're saying. Yeah. It's like just keep myself above water because I know I have this thing that's really quite special and good. But by God, if you took that for me at that moment, I would, I don't know. Like,

again, I don't know if I can exist at that moment because it's all I'm using to keep myself afloat. You know, where I came to it's like knowing who you are and not like what you do. And I feel like I had been identifying myself as what I do for so long. Instead of remembering who I am, because that's my job. And everyone in the world might not actually know me. Like I thought they did. Yeah. I was like, oh, my God, there's not no false. It's like realizing, oh, this thing I

thought was real is actually kind of false. Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, only I know me. Only I know who I am. And I need to remember that and not allow someone to change that because I can do that too.

a lot. Actually, to this day, I kind of still, because I'm so like sweet and understanding and forgiving. Yeah. Yeah. You're taking advantage. Oh, my, oh, my God. Yes. I need protectors around me. And so now, I feel like I have all these protective people. And what I'd be right to guess you're not great at boundaries. No. Yeah. But now I am. Yeah. Yeah. You know what's so crazy? It's like, when you're a famous person, the more famous you become, the more boundaries you have, the more

people look at you like you're a bad person. It's like, hey, that's fucked up. But I'm like,

but I have to protect myself. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I was always like, no, you have access to me.

Everyone has access to me. I will never be that famous person. And then no one can talk to you and no one can like, no, no, I know why. There's only so much of you. You have. Yeah.

“And you have to save some for you. Yeah. So I learned that as well. Did you come to that on your”

owner? Did you have therapy? Did you have help? I did have therapy. I've had the same therapist since like 2017. That's kind of helpful because she got to see the whole, oh, yeah. I'll go and show a lot of it. I'm like, actually we're like trauma bonded now. Okay. You're not going anywhere. Yeah. I feel like I have that. And honestly, I'm not going to hold y'all like I was talking out loud to myself into God. But I would just be like one day things have to be better. One day,

I'm going to wake up in a reality where I don't feel like shit where I'm happy. And I was saying

these things. And then one day after the next you look up and you're like, oh, I don't have to say this anymore because I'm here. Yeah. It was a lot of self work and a lot of self awareness you kind of have to have. It's like, hey, you know, you shouldn't do that or you shouldn't give this person access to you in that way or you shouldn't put yourself in that position or you know, you've been putting yourself in this fucked up position for so long. You know, this person

been kind of box new out and manipulate you and you thought this was going on, but really this was

“going on, you need to watch people around you. And this is the biggest thing that I learned from”

therapy is my inner child had been leading the show the whole time. My inner child was like, I don't want everyone to get along. And we're all going to just naively optimistic. And now grown up me is protecting baby me. I'm like, no, stop. You can't, no, give it back. Yeah, the girl with the bound fee and the fucked up hair. Yeah, the mold and the bun. Okay. No, no, that little girl you got to protect. No, we got to protect. No, you can't trust these people. So I am proud I'm not done though.

I'm learning new shit. We all learn how to wake up. It's not over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So how do we end up writing little little meets Sasha B. Fluten kind of give you the description I wrote out of it. It's so adorable. Of course I did. It's such a sweet book. It is it's about a little girl feeling lost in a loan in a new school. She's a room full instruments gives them all a world, but none of them land. Then Sasha B. Fluten said, what about me? The two you go on a ride,

stopping in the jungle to see in the sky. And every time you try to make the sounds of those places,

nothing comes out. But when you and Sasha look into yourselves into your heart, a sound finally comes

out. And that is the sound that brings all the kids together. It's the sound that you make that let you know you belong. Oh my god. Is that a good description? Yes. With the cutest little drawings. Oh, I know. And the cutest little imaginary world. I just feel like this book makes

“me emotional every time I think about it. And I was like, I fucking wrote it. And I did ask wrote it.”

Like, no funny shit. I got video footage of me writing this motherfucking book. I mean, sketching little lizard to give to my pet. Like, I'm really hands in this book. But I get emotional every time I think about it. Because everyone's interpretation of it. And every person I sit with as they read it are I read it to, it elicits a different person. I'm the same way with my music though. I could play a song for somebody in a different person, a different person in a different every time.

The way you surmise it with going to the space and the sea and the jungle. And like you try to play those sounds with those sounds. We're not you. Oh my god. I'll break out because it's true. I wanted it to have a weird a while. Things are kind of surrealism. Yes. Where you know the walls de-materialized and suddenly he's like in a boat. Well, again, you already told us like you lived in La La Land. I said, with your train. And so this is the book is the La La Land. Yes, exactly.

And when I would walk into the band hall, it was like nothing outside of that room mattered. Only band kids understand the intense feeling of family and importance. It was so fucking important to us. The music that we were playing, the march that we had to do. Anything outside that room, we just drowned out because we were so focused and we were so in tune with each other. And so when she walks in that room, she's like, well, what's all of fuss about? I want to know. And she finds Sasha

Sasha called to her. The flu picked me when I was in fifth grade. There was something about the

such an overachiever, just point extra. So when I was chosen, she was like, you, because it was just such a magical moment. I just she looked down on me and smiled and was like, you know, I was like, yeah, that was my Sasha being like, you're gonna sleep on the flutes. You can't believe what I'm supposed to say. They chose each other. I do like drawing the parallels between my actual childhood experience with the flu because that's the reason why I wrote the book. I wanted to tell the story

in a colorful way. I've been playing a flu. When did our first pull it out at the BTO wars and

taught in Rihanna stood up? 2,019, BTO wars, 1819, they've been asking me about flu since then. We're about to be about a decade of the reality. So why flu? How flu? And I was like, here, let me put it down for you. Yeah. Our friend Molly, when we were all of the height of our Lizzo obsession, Molly was obsessed with Sasha B, right? She talked about Sasha B all the time.

“People have a connection to Sasha separately from you. And I think this book is going to do”

that even more because of her personification in the book. He's an outcast too. Yeah, I'm an outcast too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's beautiful.

And Sasha's so funny and brassy and like, got a little hands on our hip and her little rainbow

buttons and she's a fun girl. Yeah, she's being played wrong the entire time. And in the end, it's like, and that's when you create the sound and it's like breathing. And I wanted to throw a little bit of mindfulness in breath work in there at the end so that you can sit with your young ins and you can be like, okay, now sit and take a deep breath white when you get to that point and they take a deep breath. A deep breath makes anyone feel good. Sometimes when you say

deep breath, it makes you want to yawn. Okay, the very last thing I want to talk to you about is I was watching the gale king interview and she wanted to talk to you about your use of the word bitch. Oh, yeah. Look, I love gale king. We don't love gale king. But she's like, you're going through, you know, we use it a lot. Okay. And then she said, you know, what about a little girl hearing that word? That was part of it, right? And I just want to say that one morning probably four years ago,

“I think Lincoln was nine, our oldest daughter. She came into our bedroom. It was one of those days,”

right? She just did not want to go to school. She was just feeling defeated by everything. And she said, I can't do it. I didn't feel as she was sad and all this stuff. And I said, come with me. And we went to our mirror. I've told the story in here before. But we went to the mirror and I said, I want you to repeat after me. Okay. And she goes, okay. She's nine. I go, I'm a bad bitch. And I'm all fucked this day up. And there's a little nine year old goes, I'm a bad bitch. And I'm going to

fuck this day up. Yes. In reverse. Very James like you can imagine on a dime. And then I told that story on here. And then all these kind of women in our life, it became a little anthem. I'm a bad bitch. And I'm going to fuck this day up. And then this was given to us. Oh my god. Look at the little baby face. So I just want to thank you because our family anthem that gets us through our bad days is I'm a bad bitch. I'm going to fuck this day up. And that's because of you. Really? Yeah.

Wow. What? Because my little girls, they got introduced to that word as a powerful word.

It's something that makes you feel like you can walk out on strong. The way that I feel about that thing with profanity and children is I don't like to cut around kids at all. I grew up in the church.

“I don't get around my mama. Okay. To this day. And I'm a grown-ass woman. So that's how my”

mind is. But I also feel like we live in a world where it isn't in the affordability that they're going to hear these words. Like I was hearing cuts words when I was, and I was like, what is that? What is that? First grade on the playground. You hear every one of this word imagine. You're going to hear it. So it's like better to disarm some of these words so that younger people cannot have the negative effect. Taking the power out of fat. Taking the power out of bitch that

someone can hurt you with. You're giving the power back to you. Get into the way you neutralize them as they go bitch. And you're like fuck yeah. And I don't. That didn't have the effect. I want to hurt you and minimize you and reduce you. I was so fat as she on my ass as fat. Yeah. Exactly. Like okay. And you want to bite it. Yeah. She wouldn't be talking about it. Yeah. Right. So much. So yes. I do think that in the inevitability and a part of my work is disarming words like that and toxic words like that.

Because I want people to be kind or to each other. But that's not realist. No, it's not gonna happen. We have to disarm the bullies. That's right. I love that. No, it's just a judo move on at all. Yeah. Well, I've been wanting to do this for five

wanting you forever. I hear that so much. I'm like, guys, I promise I'm down the street.

Well, now you got boundaries. So we call you when your boundaries were dead.

“I think years ago, we probably would have been doing Soquila shots. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe it”

is the timing was perfect for this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So funny. Are you guys? No, you drink beer. No, I don't. I haven't drank in 22 years. It's because I just love it. I just love it. I don't know how to behave. Oh, I don't know how to behave, I don't know how to behave. Okay, I don't know.

Do you all know, don't know, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, You all know how to behave. You don't know how to behave. You don't know how to behave. I've got to hold this up. It's the cutest book ever. Please. Little Lizzo meet Sasha B. Fluten. I was September 9th. September. You guys, it's a great. It's a great one. It is. Get it for your little beautiful girl. And there's a flute song in the end. I did it. You can hit the QR code and go listen to a special flute song. Lizzo, I adore you. Thank you for coming. This was so fun. Yeah, I had so much fun with you. I could talk all day. Come back.

Okay, let's go out with us on. Oh, okay, here we go. That's not going to work for me. I'm going to focus on you all the big fights long nights that you've been through. I got about to let's keep out and say, will you boss up and change the light? You can have it on a sacrifice. Oh, yeah, you're wrong. We can make you right. So go and let it all hang out tonight. You don't know. You're right. Oh, you wanted that. Oh, wow. You better lock your eyes out the door. Okay, I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom

this is Monica comes in and tells us who was wrong. Okay, you have a story. Yeah, I have a clip. But you have a clip. This happens to us in real life occasionally.

Yeah.

“Where I see you, normally I'd hear some fun story and then you have to reserve it.”

The fact, yeah, I too, actually. Oh my god.

Okay, but I'm going to start with this one first.

Okay. So happy birthday, Jess. Jess is 50 today. That's a big, old number. That's a big boy.

That's a big boy for a big boy. Uh-huh. And he's finally grown into his age. Exactly. Right.

Ageed into his growth. He's aged into his size. The size. Statue. Yeah.

So we went to Palm Springs for just like 36, 38 hours. Um, I was told by Anna, you were blessed with no traffic on the way there, which is rare on a Friday. It was great. Maybe because it was 126 there.

It was hot. Yeah. It was really hot. So it was me, Jess, Anna, Eric, and Charlie. We kept a small for many reasons when it was very impromptu, but Jess, we wanted to go

“to this very specific restaurant that I think Max is five people, the tables.”

Would the only of five customers at once? No, no, sorry. Like each table, you can't have like more than five people. Maybe six. And I think five.

They don't have big. Yeah. Exactly. Um, so we went. It was so fun, um, restaurant and carnival.

What kind of cuisine? A marination. Palm Springs. Something's few. It was a huge.

Like I had a burger, I'm going to have a pork chop, steak free. Okay. We're here again. Yeah. And then there was a really cool bar attached to it that we went to.

Anyway, great. But like chill night, like we breathed the pool and we did this dinner, and oh, and I

walked to shopping, which was the first time I've ever thought, no, maybe the second

time. The other time was in Georgia when you're in your, your family really wanted to drive you. You were going to take a walk. Oh, yeah.

But I don't regret that. That was like that. You said you got on the walk and you were like, gets too hot for this walk. No, okay. I don't regret that.

Okay. I had some regrets in Paris when I'm out when I was out there in the, he wave and he bubble. But then this was only, this was a three minute drive. I was like, I'm walking.

This is crazy. Yeah. So it was like a 16, 17 minute walk. I get out there two minutes and I was like, oh, wow, I'm like so hot and I'm getting nervous.

Like it's, then I'm talking to the camera. Yeah.

But I made it there.

You're back and soul cycle.

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But I made it there to the store and then two minutes later, the store closed. I didn't look up the timing.

So that was really upsetting. Anyway, easy, great day, fun day. Now this hotel has two parts to it. It has a normal part with like rooms, great rooms, a big pool. And then there's an area, the special area called the bungalows.

Okay. In their extra and it's like kind of its own private area.

“So if you don't have a key card to that, you can't get in there and it has its own”

waiting pool. This is what you posted a photo of. I have an image of a long rectangular pool and then seemingly bungalows on the side. Yes.

There's bungalows on the sides. There's like six or so chairs that are in the pool so you can like lounge and be wet. It's so nice. I mean, the pool's like 18 inches. Okay.

So there's no diving. No. There's no diving. There's no swimming. You just like lay in there.

No hold your breath contest. Yeah. And it is kind of funny when people are walking because they just like splash. There's walking through. And it must have been so warm as well.

I mean, they would maybe even have to cool it at that depth. And that heat.

The first day people thought it was could be a little bit cooler.

Okay. Not me. Yeah. I like the heat. The second day we thought it was nice.

Okay, great. Anyway.

“So we get back after dinner and we decide to get in the pool.”

The pool closes a tent. Okay, interesting. For Palm Springs, I feel like it would be open later. But continue. Lovely.

You saw that. Yeah. The tent is eight, forty when we get home. And we all get our bathing suits. We're all drinking water.

Like no one, we are not rowdy. I guess is the whole purpose of me saying this. We all get in the pool. We're hanging. We're chatting.

We're drinking water. And somebody opens the door to the bungalow behind us. Opens it. Like. What's this?

Yeah. And he said, he's a guy. He was probably, I would say, 60 or younger, but had, you know, some hard miles. Thank you. Okay.

And he said. All right. Just fall down with it. What happened? Oh.

Scared me. Yeah. I thought he was being attacked back there. I thought he had a seizure. Yeah.

Okay. Take your pick. Okay. So he opens the door and he says, I can hear you. And we laughed.

Like we thought he was joking, being funny. To remind people who don't know Charlie, so we have Charlie, Charlie, yes. Charlie just meet Erica Anna. Charlie is huge and muscular. And just as huge as well.

Just as intimidating when he stands up, right? Yeah. But we're all in the pool. So he comes out and he's like, you're waking everybody up or asleep or asleep. And then what's so interesting is the way everyone starts behaving differently.

Right? So Erica, I can feel how I would. I know the feeling that would be in my body. Yes. Which is similar to Charlie.

Sure. Okay. But Erica was like, don't worry. We'll move. And I know.

And I was like, no. Yeah.

“And Charlie was like, hey, you need to chill, man.”

Okay, yeah. Sure. And he said, I need to chill. And Charlie was like, yeah, man, you need to chill. And he, like, turns around.

And this guy's like, I would never do this to you.

Did he have him sit Charlie's? Was this him? Is it all like, the way could them up? Or something? It was like, we're a sleep.

I said, I said, it's nine. Yeah. And Charlie was like-- Charlie was like-- Charlie was like, Charlie was like, the pool closes at 10.

Yeah. It's nine o'clock. And he's screaming at us and getting closer. Oh. He's starting to walk towards--

What is his physical stature? Uh. You're not great at this. I'm not good at this. Yeah.

He's not tiny, but OK. So then Charlie gets up as it's kind of colorful, because it's like 18 inches. And he's just-- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my god. It's like, you know, watered his ankles.

He's like, you need to go back and say, you know, Charlie's like,

“you need to go back and say, he's like, oh, oh, look,”

with you and your tattoos, you think you're tough, man? I was like, oh, my god, what is about to happen? This guy hasn't been punched out. He's been too long. Been too long.

He's been acting like this to people and getting away with it. And we heard a woman inside, say-- She's so sick of being this guy. Exactly. Yeah.

Glenn? Steve. OK. Steve. Steve, come to bed.

She said, you could hear inside. And then Charlie was like, Steve, go to bed. [LAUGHTER] And then he was just carrying on, carrying on. Finally, he went inside.

OK. And it was a real showdown. Showdown.

And I did not expect to feel what I felt.

OK. Yeah. OK. It was really interesting. So what were you feeling?

I was like, I can dome this. Yeah. I can dome Charlie. But Charlie didn't-- He didn't like escalate.

He did not cross the line. And he said after he was like, I just told myself, do not get out of this pool. OK, all right. Because then there weren't enough or another situation.

Yeah, enough police or maybe coming up. And like, yeah, so I didn't want any of that to happen. But I was glad that he was saying stuff and standing up to him. And I also, I was like, it's nine. I was like, sir, we are allowed to--

he didn't hear me at all. He couldn't hear me. Yeah. But I was not afraid of the confrontation. And then I was like, whoa, this feels not natural for me.

Meanwhile. So it's happening to me. Meanwhile, Erica Jess and Ana have moved in another area. And Erica keeps telling us she's like, come on, guys. Come over, like, come.

Charlie, come. Like, you know, she's obviously-- Steve and Charlie. Yeah. Yeah.

The wives are like, come on, everybody, let's just-- But drop this. But no. No, to dropping it. Like this guy, like I did feel like moving felt like he won.

Uh-huh. And it was nine o'clock in Palm Springs. Oh, I think I said something like, we've all paid to be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we're all-- what makes you think you can come--

I like, if you, I understand if it's loud. First of all, you could come out and say, hey, guys, I'm so sorry.

I mean, whatever, there's a million ways to do this.

We go to bed so early. Exactly. We'd like to go to bed at 7. Yeah. But you could do that.

“Or you need to really take it up with the hotel.”

You also don't get a room next to the pool. But all the bungalows are right there, or that's not for you. Exactly. So this isn't going to tell you. You need to see the tucked into the corner,

and you visit the pool, and you want to. Yeah. Like, this isn't the hotel for you. This is the way it's-- Beeps with the architect, my friend.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So then-- Yeah. And so we were all like a little like--

and it didn't kind of fast. But it is funny. Everyone behaves so differently in these situations. And I'm sure so much of it is childhood. So much of it is just personality, I guess.

Like, I was kind of surprised. Like, I was surprised. Erica wasn't more confrontational. Uh-huh. Because she's very strong and speaks her mind and stuff like that.

Yeah. But she's also in public relations. So she's really, really good at de-escalating tensions that are rising. She has this big event.

You know, so she's got to be a master judo expert at redirecting these hostility, you know? Yeah. She's really well practiced. She's like dealing with the public, a ton, and clients, and--

Yeah. And Anna was sort of someone in the middle, because she was like, what? Like, she was saying, kind of some stuff. But then not enough for her to really hold her around.

And then just, you know, kind of gets up and then staggers away. You know, trips my time literally. You had one's nothing to do with confrontation really. That's interesting, because he often does. I don't think he does.

He does. My experience with him, and one time we got enough fight about this. Yeah, yeah. That's like someone called someone gay or that's somebody on her. It wasn't Anna, it was somebody else.

But yes, some thing happened, and she was really upset, and then just like, went inside to go deal with it. And then he came back and had done nothing. And then I was really annoyed. So we're all just so different in these circumstances.

“And you know, normally I think I'm like, no.”

Walk away. We just don't-- who cares? Who cares? Just need to walk away. That person is nothing to do with us.

But I didn't feel that way. Interest. At all. How do we describe it? And I was like, this is your new thing.

This is your auntie vibes coming out.

I don't like that. I don't like that.

I-- now I'm trying to wonder why I ever thought--

I don't know, because I am fine in confrontation. We do know this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know why I ever thought that I-- Well, I'm imagining you think you are anti-physical home.

It's physical comfort. Yes. Which I am? I am too. Until someone forces physical confrontation.

And then, yeah. Then I go, OK, this is how you want to have this confrontation. I can do either. I'll-- I'll-- I'll-- I'll argue with you. Or if you want to get down, I'm--

I'm your Huckleberry, like, let's do that. I know. That'll be conclusive. That's why I like it. I still don't like it.

I don't like it. I'm really proud of Charlie for staying in the pool. I'm glad he did. Yeah. But when this man is coming towards this screen--

Yeah, it's screaming. --and screaming, and screaming, and he's so aggressive. I was like, wow, I do feel like maybe he deserves

to get hit, which is-- I've never felt that.

So it was really wild. Then it's a good thing we're transitioning you and I. Like, now you're into-- and I'm kind of like, I'm retiring from all of it. So it's good that we weren't ever out on the scene

for both of us that way. Because again, I have this chip on my shoulder about guys who have power in their jobs, and they're used to, like, fucking screaming at people. And doing things that would otherwise get them

into a fist fight, like, you can't just do that. Unless you have some bullshit arbitrary power you're used to, and you literally can't click out of-- Yeah, you're not in your office, bro. And I don't work for you, and you can't talk to people.

“Yeah, I guess, because I think I live with so much”

like, you can't talk to people like that. You can't treat people like that. Like, I live with a lot of those feelings. Yeah.

So I guess I was just like, yeah, this--

Maybe it was the heat ahead, yeah. I mean, also, he was just so clearly obviously had been drinking like all day long, obviously. Who knows, but it was insane. As you said, 10 p.m. is too early.

Yes, yes. Yeah, it's revolved springs on a Friday night. Yeah. Yeah. So that was wild. And then it led to a different conversation, where I-- So then Charlie went to the front, and he just said,

hey, just so you know this is how this unravels-- Exactly. And I-- and this is also, I guess, a way that I act. I was like, someone's getting an email. Someone's getting an email tomorrow.

And hotels getting a stern email. And I said that to everyone. And I was like, I'm telling the hotel like that this was completely unacceptable. And then we were kind of split, OK?

Because some people were like, well, it's not-- they are a fault. And I was like, it's not their fault. It is absolutely not their fault. But this happened at their hotel.

It ruined a section of the night. And it could-- and maybe did have an impact on whether anyone's we are ever coming back here. OK.

“So I think it is up to the hotel to say,”

like, I'm so sorry that happened here. You all get to come back for a full week for free. I'm just kidding. No, not like that. But still, I do think it's a responsibility

of the establishment to do what they can to make you want to come back. Because I did think like, oh, well, if it is too loud for people, that's a problem. Yeah, yeah.

And I don't want to have dealt with that person. I hated that. You know, I kind of liked it. But I hated it. Yeah, I love it.

He liked it. And yes. So then we got, we were all in a debate about that. Me and Charlie, of course. Of course.

Yeah. He's the great email writer. Yeah, he loved it, exactly. But to be clear, we both, we're not like, oh, this is the hotel's fault.

But-- So I'm on the side that came front that guy. And then not on the side of like-- it's too bad you guys had to deal with that guy. And now these people working there

got to deal with this guy downriver.

“Yeah, but here's the thing that's also true.”

They might need to put a flag on that or say to him, like, hey, if you come back to this hotel, that can't happen again. No dust up to the pool. Well, they need to know--

Go ahead and call us if you think someone's being too loud and we'll look at you. Exactly. Yeah. So did you write an email?

I did not. OK. Because then I got in my head about it a little bit.

OK.

Because I was thinking like, OK, if this happened at a restaurant.

OK, because Jess was like, no, like they don't, whatever. And I was like, Jess, if this happened at a restaurant in some patron screamed at another patron and like stormed over and stuff. Of course, it's not the restaurant's fault.

But the restaurant is going to do something. The restaurant is probably going to-- Cinema dessert-- something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like--

pay for their coffees. Tell the guy like you can't do that here. You're not welcome here anymore. Yeah. Well, maybe when Charlie gave them the whole way of the land--

I know, but then we would have decided-- He didn't say it to anyone. He said to him about hop. Kind of. Like there was no one there.

Oh, they were.

“So that's why I felt the email was really necessary.”

OK.

Because I wanted to speak to a manager of the hotel owners.

Sure, sure, sure, sure. Don't front that. Because I agree with you there, right? I'm like, what's this front desk person going to do? She's trying to get through their shifts.

So this is more of a higher-up situation that I want to-- I want to-- I'm going to-- OK. OK. OK.

Yeah. Let me know how that goes. OK. It just was wild this year. And then I can be really bad for the wife.

She, yeah. I mean, that's-- she's linked to this guy. You think that's not a stand alone. That's not someone's first time acting like that. Do you come back to bed?

See, we can't do this again. That's what you mean. See, I'm not going to bail you out again. Although, let's just devil's advocate. Yeah.

Maybe she was in there going steam. Go fucking tell him to stop.

“Go get-- she could have been goating him.”

And then he snabbed because the wife's yelling. She could have-- yeah. That's a scenario that happened sometimes. That happens. That could definitely happen.

I love friend whose wife's always getting into fights.

And he's just like, he can hear it from the car. And he's like, oh, God. She's yelling at the construction workers. How long before they call her a bitch? And then I got to get out of the car.

So yeah. No, she could definitely could have been. I just felt like, oh, this is a tough, tough situation. And then the next day, we were at the other pool at the bar. And he-- and this is like at two, or one, or something.

And he comes up. And so we're all just kind of like standing there. And he doesn't say anything to us. And orders his drinks and then goes. So we think he doesn't remember.

OK. Yeah. So he might have been heavily intoxicated. OK. One of the many reasons he would have lost that tucile with Charlie. Oh, yeah. You think you're a big man?

I couldn't-- he started saying that. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, who do you think you are? Like, who? I mean, it's crazy.

Because I was just like, yeah, you're asking for him to hate you. When you go up into space, you're taunting a bear. Yeah. Oh, with your tattoos. It was wild. Wow, exciting.

It was exciting. Yeah, very exciting. But the hell was her money back? OK. OK, great.

So that was one of two stories? Yes. OK. This is a different male story. OK.

I was on the west side on Thursday. And once you get to the west side,

“depending on your timing, you have to stay there.”

You're there for the day. You're there for the day, and to the night. Yeah, so traffic dies down at 8 p.m. Exactly. So I was there, and then I was like, OK, where do I go?

Kill time. So I went to a place called Balter. It's a restaurant. It's in Broutwood. And I've been there before.

And I was like, they have like a loungy area. So I was like, oh, I'll do work there. I have my computer. So I went. And they were like, have a seat wherever that doesn't say reserved.

So I went. There was one table on the back that didn't say reserved. So I sat there. And there was like, obviously some sort of gathering happening. Like, kind of like, maybe it was like a work postwork or work thing.

Anyway, I'm sitting there. And then this guy comes up to me this man. And he was like, I haven't met you yet. How old? I would say he-- OK, I pretty much think everyone's 60.

Yeah, sounds like people are your age or there's 60. No, people are 25 or they're 60. And he came up to me and he said, I haven't met you yet. And I was like, oh, I'm not part of your party. And he was like, oh, and I said, but they told me

to sit wherever I wanted if it didn't say reserved. And it doesn't say reserved. And he was like, oh, it's all reserved. And I was like, oh, oh, and he was like, but you're fine. You're not bothering anyone, like you stay.

And I was like, how did he build up at this point with all the reserve tables?

But like, people work coming here. And I wasn't at a very-- I was like, I got a big table, but that's because I was all alone. You're at a six-stop or something. There was only one that didn't say reserved.

And I was like, well, no, I don't want to be-- I don't want to like intrude. He was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're fine. And then like, the bartender server lady comes up. And she's like, this server was like, OK, yeah, it doesn't say it.

And so I sat here, but where should I go? And she was like, do you want to sit at the bar like the actual bar?

“And I was like, oh, am I allowed to with my computer?”

He said, yes, it's like, OK, great. I go, I sit at the bar.

Now I am the first in the front seat.

For people who are putting cocktails to your right, like the server. Exactly, except, OK, but it's on the left. And there was one seat there. But yeah, it's like on the corner.

I'm not sitting there, you know? So I'm workies, and it's great. Getting my edits done. I always wonder. I'm like, people can see.

So they're just seeing me and you and Lizzo. Oh, oh, it's like my computer. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I'm sitting there, I'm doing work. And then I look over, and the bartender

like comes any puts down this place mat, this leather place mat at the seat next to me. No one else has this, by the way. And he puts like a knife in a fork. And I thought, who is about to come sit here?

Yeah, the president, maybe. Exactly. So I'm kind of keeping an eye out. And then a man comes and sits there. I don't recognize him.

But I'm noticing that everyone, the staff-wise, is coming up to him, and they're all really engaging with him, hugging him, 60. OK, great. It feels stupid asking.

And I'm like, who is this guy? You love this, this is happening in New York. This happens, is it me all the time? Yeah, yeah, it's someone very VIP enters this. Yes.

Yeah, that's like, you're intrigued. Yep, I'm intrigued. People are, and then I think, but I've had funds and so I can't hear that well. But I hear something about sports.

I was like, maybe this guy owns a sports team or something, and he was wearing a suit. Oh, OK. So then I'm intrigued, and then I take out my headphones to get a drink, right?

So I'm just like, I take them out, and I'm waiting for a second. And he says, he says, it was like 540 or something.

“And he was like, you have to stop working at 545.”

And I was like, well, I don't think that's going to happen. And he was like, well, they're going to kick you out. But he was being very playful. I was not like nervous or anything. But I was like, oh, I guess I'll be on the street

with my computer and my martini, then. And then he laughed and laughed. I was like, so yeah, yeah. And I was wearing a-- Amy Schumer, Joe, oh my god.

You're not going to believe what she said. Kate, updent, ding, ding, ding, ding, updent, ding. I was wearing a band, Dana, that day.

I've never worn one before.

So I think I was feeling like a new personality. Yeah, a person going. Yeah, yeah. And she was cool this girl. Meant.

So then, you know, we talk for another second or whatever. Get my drink. I kind of put my headphones back in. And then all-- and then this other person comes up to me. Extr-- a shout out.

Extremely attractive man comes up to me. And I take my have as I said, are you Monica? I said yes. He said, I'm a huge armchair. Oh, my god.

And he was extremely attractive. Yes. Yeah, to me, James Marsden Energy. Whoa, that's huge energy. And I was like, then I-- my band-in, it was doing nothing for me.

I was-- You were back to-- Yeah, I was being an ugly girl. Like, we learned Monica. And I was like, oh, that's so nice.

It was like, you just had a birthday, a birthday. And I was like, thanks.

I'm editing-- I always tell people that.

I'm editing right now. Yeah, sure. And behind the curtain. Yeah.

“And then he said, he said, can I take a picture for my wife?”

Bummer. Yeah. And I was like, sure, of course. And then he looks at this guy and he says, can you take a picture for us and he hands the phone to him?

Yeah, exciting. Now that now the old time is like, shit, this bitch is famous. So he says, yeah, takes a picture. I say, by the armchair, he walks away, and this guy says, okay, well, I need to know who you are.

Uh-huh. You just said, I own the cardinals. [LAUGHTER] And then-- Stay tuned for more armchair experts if you dare.

And he was like, oh, well, what is it?

And I said, it's called armchair expert. I hosted it with Dax Shepard and he was like, oh, he's like, you do look familiar. I was like, well, I thought you were going to say, you do look like Dax. I thought you was you, Dax. No, he said, you do look kind of familiar.

I was like, well, I mean, if you don't listen to show, it's probably not. He was like, well, I mean, I know, of course, I know Dax and I was like, yeah.

“And he was like, well, then I think I put my headphones back in or something.”

And it's so much action happening, he's like, yeah, this is like sitcom pacing. Yeah. Like, cheers. Now this person enters that person exits, they open the door to this conversation. Yeah.

Exactly. And so then I think I take my headphones out of the can or something. And he sees this again, he's quick, he knows, and he's like-- It's like sitting next to someone on an airplane. Yeah.

He said, I just doom scrolled you. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I said, doom scroll, I was like, well, that's, I think, a bad thing.

And he was like, well, my daughter-- he has a 24-year-old daughter. So my daughter calls it that. And he was like, you're famous. And I said, I think you're famous based on what I can see has been going on here for the past hour.

Yeah. And I said, who are you? Yeah, nice. Yeah. But my bandiano is doing a lot of the heavy life.

Yeah. You're back to Bandana mode, yeah. And then, then things start going wild, right? Like, he's like, oh, no, I'm just a regular here. And I was like, mmm, doesn't feel like that you have your own place, Matt.

I know how this works. And then he said, he works for some people. OK. And then the bartender, this really nice bartender, Carlos. I learned about Carlos.

He comes up and he was not 60. No. Carlos is not 60. I had a hunch. He was in 60.

And Carlos is joking with this man. And he's like, how do you get her to talk to you? I've been trying to talk to her. Well, Carlos is saying that now. But you are the head of his ball.

You should go here all the time.

I would never leave this place.

Well, listen, so balter is a very specific place. It is a specific vibe. People are there to meet people. Oh, great. Now, to me, it's a, it's a type, so west side.

“And so I think that's also like, the cultures in LA”

are very different. The west side's very different from the east side. So I think I felt kind of like in a fun way, fish out of water. Uh-huh, yeah, yeah. Because I'm in a bandana, a, like, Terry Cloth, Susie Condy,

great shirt, green shirt. You know, people are in, like, loose pants. People are there in, basically, they're underwear. You know, like, people are there looking sexy. It's very specific.

And I guess this is Thursday night. And Thursday night is live music night. And so it was like, so packed. Yeah, okay, wow. And I think it gave me confidence.

'Cause I was like, oh my god, like, what is this? Is such a scene. Yes, yes. And I think this person was intrigued by me because I was not doing this.

You know, playing as band before a season's with the tattoos. Like, right. Yeah, but you were enjoying it. I was enjoying it. And I wasn't on the prowl, like, if I was on the prowl,

then I would be like, oh, I look crazy. Uh-huh. But I'm saying you got to experience thing.

I'm always trying to say it's like, oh, yeah,

I kind of dig that everyone. Yeah. I'm not participating, which removes me from the stakes of it all. That's, yes, definitely.

It removed the stakes, but also, yeah. There's some really confident my band down. Yeah, great. So then we start talking, I talked to this person for, I leave it nine.

Uh-huh. And then we talk the whole time. And then we have some other friends next to us that we may, yeah, great.

“And there's like an hour and a half of talking, or more?”

Like three and a half hours. Wow, this is a me cute. And then like, I eat some of his steak and I order a potato. Yeah, wow.

This is so fun. It was. You were being handed all over. I was, 'cause then I ordered a burillo, shout out if anyone wants to send me burillo,

it is my favorite wine. Oh, that's a wine. It's a type of wine. And it is very rarely on the menu as a, by the glass. They want you to get the bottle.

Yeah. So, but they had it by the glass. And so I ordered a burillo, and he said to Carlos, he said, oh, the perfect woman.

The man was, not Carlos. The man. Okay.

This Carlos would go either way.

I was thinking Latino. Oh, he actually could be Spanish. Yeah, Carlos signs. Exactly. Anyway, he, so that was fun.

And we talked about everything. We talked about dating. He's looking, yeah, he's divorced,

“but he has a great relationship with his ex-wife.”

And his unfortunately his house burdened out in the palaces, which is very sad. But now he lives in Beverly Hills. And we talked, and I asked him what happened in this marriage. Oh, yeah.

And I asked what he's looking for on a partner. All these things. I told him about the Dairy Queen story. Uh-huh. Yeah, so we just chose.

And Albert was he being, was he going like, well, that's crazy, because you are so beautiful. Was he going hard? He didn't say you're so beautiful.

But he was giving me compliments.

Yeah, yeah. And we discussed Tris, we discussed everything about me. Wow, exciting. I was just enjoying him so much. Yeah.

And I was like, oh my god, this is my new friend. Like, he's a fun friend. Yes. And I got his name. We exchanged numbers.

Yeah. Yeah. And he paid for my, oh, my dream. Sure. Of course.

He lives in Beverly Hills. Well, it was actually really cute. Because I obviously wanted to pay.

“And I went to pay and then Carlos, you know, gave me my check.”

But it was just a smiley face. Oh, man. Really? He gave Carlos the wing.

He probably got it all like, oh, he has a little dialed.

And at one point, they gave me a placemat. Oh, my goodness. Oh, I said, I said, oh my god, I mean, he's a little hanging out with him again. Because it's the, the elephant in the room is I'm sure he'd love to make love to you. Oh, how do you?

I'm not, I don't want, I would like to keep it as a friendship. But I also like kind of like that it was like a, it was a, what's that called in the pan, flashing the pan like it was like a really fun, just nice one off. Yeah.

Yeah. And I like really just have a fondness for him and for that evening. Yeah. And I don't really. This is how these older men will you say they just, they're just a good time.

And then all of a sudden you're like, I mean, he's definitely listening to this. Oh, well. Oh, this is your, you know who you are, I did over here, I'm saying he's buying a house in Puglia. Where the hell's Puglia?

Oh, she's. I know. You're going to be on a wooden crisp bread boat on like this is how it happened. Yeah. This is exactly how it happened.

And so like, and also he's great.

“Like he, he had a great personality with very, very enjoyable to talk to funny, understood”

funny. Yeah. Which was great. And so like I said, I would keep my eyes peeled for someone for him. Uh-huh.

More in his age range. I just, I don't know what he's, but I, I, I, I, I don't know. I just, did you ask him what age he dates? I did. Yeah, what do you say?

He said he doesn't have like, he doesn't have any restrictions on that 25. He can't believe it. He's like 20 or 40. He was just like, it doesn't matter as wanting to give me some requirements, which were good requirements.

He likes that people had their own thing. Yeah. That's of course. Which is what I also like. Me too.

Yeah. Exactly. So anyway, I, um, they don't want to pass and you're. Exactly. He didn't want to pass and you wanted stuff, but he also did because he was like, he's

ready. He, you know, he's like, lived a big life already. Uh-huh. And he's ready like travel and do a bunch of things, so he kind, he wants, he needs someone.

This is putting this out there for people who are interested, and I can set you up. Okay. Um, he is 20 to 60 here listening and someone with purpose and has their own thing going on, but he also wants to travel and stuff and want a partner. He isn't a little bit of a pickle.

Yeah, yeah. But there's going to be someone for him. Well, he sounds very charming. He was. He got through to you.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Extremely hard to do. Yes.

I'm blown away by both parties. It was really fun. Okay. These are both wonderful stories. And I have a tiny one that's just not wonderful.

It's just me telling myself only because it just came up in an armchair anonymous. Oh, wow. And I wanted to tell you, just because it was one of the more awkward things I've ever done. Oh, no.

So this is back in Tennessee over the summer, um-huh. Delta had a friend flying in. Uh-huh. And that's a whole process. If an unaccompanied minor is flying.

Oh, right. Yeah. You got to go to the airport. You know, you got to, you declare yourself and you know, this information on you. Great.

And you got to get there really early to get a, not a boarding pass, but a pass that can

Yes.

“So I left the house and I was like, okay.”

I got to go pick up my, um, high-flector 2000. That's my. That's a happy instrument. Mm-hmm. And because it required signature, I had it delivered to Walgreens because I was afraid

we wouldn't be home. So smart. Do you want to do this? I don't want to do it. I hate signature.

Just to everyone in the world. No more signatures. Okay. Did Delta go with you? No.

Oh, it was just you. It was just me because it was ours, right? I was going to have to be there early then, whatever, and she wouldn't have been able to come through the gate. Oh, she can.

Right. So in my leave her and the blobby of the airport. So anyways, I leave my house and I, I'm on the edge of me being comfortable. I got to get to the airport and check in.

And I want to make sure this little girl isn't getting off of the flight for a first-time

flying by herself. And I'm not standing there. Yeah. So I'm a little stressed about that. I probably should have tried to pick up the thing.

But I'm going to just turn left, just a mile and then I'll be back on track. So I go into the Walgreens and I say, like, hey, I'm picking up a package and he's like, okay, the name. And I say, "Dak Shepard." And here's the address.

And so she can't really find the box. But I can see the box. We're already in that situation, right? Right.

“Yeah, but I think it might be that one, right?”

So so she gets the box and then she comes up and I show her my license. And it says, "My name on the box." And she goes, "Okay. The tracking number." And I go, "Oh, I don't know the tracking number."

And she's like, "Well, I can't give you this unless you have the tracking number." And I go, "Even though it says my name on there and I'm showing you my life." No. I go, "Okay. Let me go out to the car to get my phone to see if I can find this tracking number."

And so I go out to the car, I get my phone. And you would think it'd be easy to find it. It's not easy to find. It's so many emails from FedEx and UPS. I don't even know which carrier it's been sent by at this point.

I'm going through forever. And now I'm starting to get like, "Oh, fuck me. And what if I can't find this?" You know, I'm getting a little stressed. Yeah.

Finally, I find it. Oh, my gosh, I find it. And as I'm turning to show her the phone, she doesn't even look. She's like, "Okay." And then she grabs this tablet, right?

And I'm already like, "You didn't even look at the tracking number." And I just like, "I don't think we have to do that." Like, what is this protocol? Doesn't make a ton of sense to me. And then she gets out this iPhone-y type thing to sign.

I go, "Okay, no problem, my sign." And I go, "I'm about to grab the package." Because we got to initial some places. And then so it's like two finds and one of the places to do an initial.

I do one of the initials. I go to grab the box and then she goes, "Oh, hold on. We got more." And she's now, she's scrolling through the thing. And I just kind of snapped.

I go, "It misses-- I go, I go, I go. I love you. But I'm taking this box. I got to go." And I just grabbed my high-factor and I walk out.

And I get in the car and I go, "I just said her. I love you." But I have to take this box and I have to go. Okay. And I'm like, "Why did I say that?

Why did I say that? I love you." And then I was like, "Oh, it's almost every time I have to-- we get to that point with the kids." And I got to go, "I love you, but we're not going to that restaurant

at 9 o'clock at night."

It's always, "I love you."

And here's terrible news, right? And I'm so muscle, man. Just imagine your her and I go, "I love you." But I'm taking this package. Yeah, that's pretty wild.

It's so weird.

“I do. I think a lot of people are used to hearing that.”

I love you. I love you, but-- Oh, okay. So maybe you turn her or she did not do that. Like, I say that.

I got to get to the airport and pick up a little girl, you know? Yeah. But I love you. If you said that, I love you, but I got a little girl from it. I shipped in a little girl from another state.

Wow. Now I have a question. So you picked up Delta's friend? Yes. And how was the car ride with you in this little girl just you too?

Well, I know her so well now, she's around non-stop. Yeah, so I know her really well. She's at our house non-stop, and I drive her home.

Well, Delta, obviously, it always comes when I drive her home.

I actually think, like, I'm putting myself in the position of her. For her. And that did cross my mind. I mean, you got to ride with somebody's dad for 20 minutes. That was scary.

I was scared of her dad. When she was getting-- I'm starting to get panic because I'm watching everyone come off this flight. And you know off, and there's these huge gaps. Oh, I know.

Someone can't get their bag out or whatever. So I keep thinking, oh my god, she's not on this flight. Now what am I going to do? Like, I have five mini panics. Yeah.

And there was a huge gap. And I'm certain I'm watching the last person get off the plane. Then this long, long gap. And then I see her coming at me down the gangway with a flight attendant. And she looks at me and throws up double-piece signs.

She didn't care at all about flying on her own.

“We both had taken this, I think I told you.”

I took her to Disneyland with Delta and her birthday. And she's the one that wanted to ride the rides with Ryan and I over and over again. Like, the ones that were too scary. She's on fire. OK, well, I love that.

Yes. So she was fine. But that's good for her because I would be so scared to ride with someone's dad. Sure. Yeah.

And like, what are we going to talk? Like, do I have to talk to him? I already had prepared, like, I know she where she had been and that's summer. I know who she's with and I don't know if they only remember. So I have many of questions to keep the ball rolling like the double ride home.

And it was a lovely ride home. And yeah, it wasn't awkward at all. Good. That reminds me when I was little, little, in middle school. I would go to my best friend Gina's house a lot.

And her dad and mom were around a lot. But her dad picked us up a lot. And he was still a very cool person, cool dad. But like, yeah, I would be really quiet around her dad.

“And then he said once to Gina, he said, what's going on with Monica?”

Like, she's so quiet. But then when she's in the room with you, like we can hear her, like, she's like so exuberant. Yeah. And I was so embarrassed about that observation in the mind.

And I didn't like that, you know, because I was like, well, now I don't know what to do. Like, I guess I need to be down or turn it up. Yeah, I think I'm trying it up on the dad side. I mean, over time, I'm ended up knowing in my whole life. So like over time, he did get the full me.

Yeah, yeah. But I was just taught to be like, don't talk to people, adults, you know?

It'd be my preference I'm never with a kid by myself.

Yeah. But I just, I would prefer to not be, you know, I don't like, you know, there are times when I'm taking her home and maybe Delta's been told it's time to get ready for bed. And I always go, no, you're coming with me.

I'm not like, I don't want to be alone. Yeah, I just, I just, you know, I agree. It's just preferable to me that one of my kids always present if I'm with someone. Exactly. That's why.

And I would imagine the parents would prefer that too, as I would prefer. Yes. I'm joins or the friend joins. Yeah. So interesting.

It really is. Okay, we do a facts. Okay, great. This for Lizzo. Okay.

Some facts for Lizzo. Yes. This came out still exist, and then you said, in Mexico, maybe. Yeah. Three locations do remain worldwide.

Okay. Miami. Oh, wow. But it's a small format store operating in a former garden center. So it's not.

Oh, kind. Okay. Charlotte, omelette, US Virgin Islands. Wonderful. It might even be worth me planning a vacation around that.

It says a larger department store. And then Guam. Guam. Also a larger department store. Great.

But it says it came out family. Yeah. I hate when things go on. Go on, durian. Yeah, it sucks.

I told you I said the came out mansion was for sale.

“I think it's maybe even how that even came up.”

No, I don't know. Yeah, there's a mansion for sale and Michigan. Oh, my God. I think maybe even Jack White owned it or saw the sound Detroit famous person owned it.

In bought it for like, I don't want to say 10 or 12 million dollars at one point.

And then now it's for sale for like three, seven or something. But it's this huge castle on like all this property. Why is it just declining in value? I think the same way these castles in England, they cost so much to keep up. They're just like, you know, they're everything is 120 years old inside and it's all separated

by concrete and stone, you know, it's not easy to access. I just think it's a beat down to keep these things. That sucks. Operational. Okay.

It's Devils Night only in Michigan. Yes, using the specific name Devils Night for the night before Halloween, October 30th, is primarily a Michigan tradition, especially a center-round Detroit. It says there are, well, other places do not call it Devils Night. Many regions across the US and the UK have a similar night of pranks and minor vandalism.

They use different local names, mischief night. Okay, not as fun. That's common in New Jersey, parts in New York, Pennsylvania and parts of England. Goosey night. That's used in parts of New Jersey.

Sounds like New Jersey. Well, we know New Jersey, New Jersey. Yeah. Babbage night, common in upstate New York and parts of New England, gate night, used in places like Bay City, Michigan.

Oh, okay, Bay City. Okay. And then beggars night, observed in areas like Des Moines, Iowa. I got to say we have the coolest name for it. That was night.

Well, it's like a hard quote. It's like a hard quote. Yeah.

Or the pinch people buss. Why? That's what you call goosey in someone. You do? Yeah, like it feels like a goose bit your butt.

You never grew up here in that.

My mom always says it. Oh, she did. Yeah. And he gooseed me. Oh.

Yeah. Or you can say goose the throttles too. I think pinching butts is out of favor. It's very cute. I think it was an 80s thing.

There was huge in my junior high and elementary. So 90s. 90s. Yeah. Like no one was doing that.

And I just loved those at my locker and so I felt so in pinched my butt. My turn on was one of the Rask League girls and I loved it. It was so fun. I know. I just don't think it's in anymore.

I don't think you're allowed to cut you grab anyone anymore. Well, if they're your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure. Sure. But even that I'm saying I don't think is like a thing.

Delta does a lot of butt pinching with her friends.

Oh, he got that from you.

She didn't. Oh, I think she did. Okay, I was looking up some urban legends because we talk about urban legends. Now, what do you want to hear?

“Do you want to hear 50 of the spookiest urban legends from every state?”

We go pick some states. Just a list of urban legends that sounds dumb. But then the others are like from a long time. I want to do this one. Okay.

It's from readers Digest. Ooh. Blast one past came aren't readers Digest. Exactly. Urban legends.

Okay. Do you want to pick a state? Yeah. I do. I want to pick Florida.

Okay. Which probably saved that to last, but. Okay. Ready? Yeah.

Florida is Captain Tony's since 1852, Captain Tony's the oldest saloon in

Key West has been known to be haunted.

Dors, slam for no apparent reason, and there are inexplicable banging noises and frequent ghostly visitations. But why? Well, the building itself has a long and storied history. One that includes being built around a tree that the town wants use for hanging.

And for being the side of the town's original mark, many died around that tree including a young woman who allegedly murdered her husband in two sons. She was hanged in a blue dress, covered in blood, and she hasn't left the scene appearing to patrons as the lady in blue. Oh, wow.

So that's more of a ghost story than urban legends. Yeah. I think these are those ghost stories. It says urban legends. Let's do Georgia.

Do Georgia. Okay. Yeah. Because let's see if we know. Yeah.

I'm waiting for a hot dog or Pepsi bottle or a vacuum cleaner. Uh, I don't know this. Georgia, the song of the cell. Okay.

“As urban legend goes, in 1848, Ellic and his wife Betsy, was this going to be in Savannah?”

Probably. Yeah. Both enslaved people. Okay. Bad start.

Yeah. Cut Georgia. Oh, yeah. We're in their home one night when they're, this is a bad, this is bad. They're, they're master.

Yes. We're in their home one night when their master drunk in belligerent crash through the door. He attempted to attack Betsy, but Ellic fought him off. Undeterred the master. I hate saying that.

Uh-huh. Ellic up a ladder into a loft as a struggle continued. The master lost his balance fell out of the loft and died. I don't, I can't say I miss him. Even though Ellic turned himself into the sheriff the next morning, uh, explaining that

what had happened with self defense, he was still charged with murder. Oh, boy. A common occurrence in the Antebellum South, Ellic was in prison in the old Lawrenceville jail. Lawrenceville's near me.

And later. And later. And later, executed unjustly for the crime. People say they can still hear his sorrowful song through the walls of the old jail. Oh.

Oh. These are like ghost stories. All right. Let's look at Michigan. I hated that.

And I'm disappointed. Yeah. The word master, you know, it was, it has so many different meanings and applications. And then this one, uh, gross one. And it's got the power to take down the word entirely.

Like they dumped it from master bedroom. I know. You got master cylinder.

“You got, uh, you know, but what if you're a master master class?”

You got my master, right? Yes. That's. That was a funny joke. Okay.

Ready, Michigan. Yeah. But what about people like that are masters at things? Don't you feel bad for them a little bit? No.

No. That was a good distinction. I know. But he's a master carpenter or she's a master sail. I think you just say expert like we do.

Okay. All right. What have this had been called Armchair Master? No. Okay.

Okay. Ready. Michigan. The name Rouge ever heard of it? Well, Rouge.

We have the River Rouge, which is red, right, in French. Mm-hmm. Do you know what name is? No. It's dwarf.

The red dwarf? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. This is one of the urban legends still recognize today and is celebrated by the people of Detroit every year.

They say there's a, they say there's a devilish creature known as the name Rouge. Orange for red dwarf, who causes mayhem in the city, small and red.

He's thought to be seen when disaster is about to strike and is even said to be the reason

“for the Cadillac companies downfall in the city.”

Oh, wow. Oh. Okay. Why does he drive for the country? Why does he drive for the city?

I guess he hates the city. He's a rascal. Yeah. He's a devil. Okay.

Well, those were really urban legends. So. That is not as we normally think of them. That was annoying. Now a couple, though, bloody Mary, we know all no bloody Mary.

Do you know what I mean? You don't know bloody Mary. Where you can't say in the mirror. Famous mirror ritual, we're chanting a name multiple times in a dark room summons of vengeful spirit.

I once had a sleepover and invited my friend and told her about this and she had to go home. Oh, God. You spooked her that much. Yeah. Oops.

The hook handed killer, a cautionary tale about a maniac with a prosthetic hook attacking young couples parked in secluded areas. I think I've heard that one. Yeah, started by the moral majority to prevent you. I definitely heard of this one.

Okay. The lick tan. A story about a girl who thinks for dog is looking her hand at night only to find the animal murdered and then intruder under her bed. I heard that.

That feels familiar. Yeah. Again, like I was saying, the expert that was telling us about it is like it's these weird details that end up being sticky. So it's like licking the hand.

Yeah. Right. That's what makes it memorable. Awesome. With the note.

That's your face. Yeah. Like why would he if where would one get a piece of woodworker, he made a miniature coffin? Oh, Slender man.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I saw a doc on that. Yeah, me too. Okay.

“Now, can you catch things from a public toilet seat?”

You are extremely unlikely to catch an infection or sexually transmitted disease from sitting on a toilet seat. Yeah. Unless you're married. I know.

That was what we already started. Okay, it's his fragile germs. Most bacteria and viruses that cause STDs or illnesses die very quickly when they leave the human body and hit a dry hard surface. Healthy skin acts as a strong protective shield against germs to get sick live germs from

the seat when you did directly enter an open wound or your mucous membranes, which is rare from simply sitting down. Also, no.

Because we've never gotten your vagina on the edge of the seat.

I guarantee people have got there. The vagina on the seat. Have you? I hover. But a lot of people sit and I could see what they kind of fall in the seat.

No. You'd have to sit on the corner of the toilet to accomplish this. No, like. And then let's just do the math. Yeah, you got a like side saddle that seat, which is insane.

I just don't see that happening. Additionally, the person before you had to side saddle it to get the SCD on that area of the toilet. No, not side saddle. Okay.

For the listener Monica's pointing at the little this is good toilets. Yeah. The you. So. Okay.

The outside of your cheeks go on. Oh, but. Yeah. Now.

“Because you would have put your butt cheek in the big hole and you would have fallen”

over to the side into the water. Look, I know. So if you're hovering, you're hovering. There's no. You would have been touching the front where there's no seat.

No, the seats. I'm looking. I'll have to take a picture. I don't. I'm interested in why you're incentivized for SCDs to be contagious on toilet seats.

I'm not. I'm just trying to talk things through. Okay. As a woman who sits on toilet seats in your man, you hover, but I mean, I have mine I sit like you're a man you stand.

Yeah. So when I go number two, right. So. But that's different. Okay.

So also, it does say toilet, what you might actually encounter gut bacteria. Yeah. Yeah, okay. toilet seats can carry small amounts of bacteria like ecoli or strap disgusting. Okay.

Can you get an SCD from a hot tub? You cannot. From just sitting in or soaking in the water of a hot tub. Yeah. Let's show Mary.

They die very close. That's a great deal. They die very quickly outside the human body. They have a chlorine. It says you do not catch an SCD from the water itself.

You'd have to be sliding down the handrail. Yeah. Oh. So you're saying you could. If you slid down and someone else had just slid that.

People have done that for sure. And they're doing it. No. And then Virginia would rip it apart. You know that.

You're drunk a state you would never think it was a good idea.

Job. Job. The handrail. I wouldn't. But I've been around so many people who are drunk and then they're trying

to impress boys and then the boy sighs out and like, I'll be fun. Okay. And then they do that. Okay. Okay.

What does Joel Olstein own? Oh. What does Joel Olstein own?

A 17,000 square foot mansion in Houston, Texas, valued at approximately 10.5 million dollars

to 14 million dollars.

“His net worth is estimated between 50 million and 100 million.”

He does not take a salary from Lake Wood Church. His wealth comes from best selling book royalties. Making engagements and media projects. So he, his mega church purchased and moved into the compact center originally known as the summit in Houston, Texas, arena that was the home of the Houston rockets.

Did he ever own the Charlotte arena for the there? No, thanks, though. Oh, wow. So there's another mega church owner that has the Charlotte arena. Okay.

Unfortunately, you were wrong in run DMC. They wore a deedus, not fielus. Make sense. They did have a song about it. Yeah.

What are who wore fielus? Well, Lizzo did. Okay. How to pronounce flutus, floutus. So it's based on region kind of chef's choice.

British English is flotist. American English is floutist. Uh-huh. Hotest is also used, and it says the more common North American alternative pronounced flutus.

So I guess any, but I would say floutists. I'm going to stick with floutists because it took me the longest to learn. You can't learn that. Okay. Now we talked about morning becomes eclectic.

And you said the guy that runs it, like ended up doing a lot of stuff for his supervision. Mm-hmm. Was it Tom Schnabel or Schnabel? Mm-hmm. He was the show's originator.

I know the person I'm talking about did some music placement on parenthood. And I'm embarrassed. I don't know. Was it? Would you know it if I said it?

It Chris Doritos. Doritos? [laughs] [laughs] It really sounds like that.

That sounds like that. Good morning, Chris. Doritos. Nick Harcourt. Nick Harcourt.

Jason Bentley? Um, I'm just not really sorry. I'm not going to do that. And lit. Novina Carmel and Anthony Validus.

So lots of people were programming, I guess. Well, these are over the course of time. Yeah. But if you were, if it was parenthood, that would have been-- It was in 12.

That would have been Jason Bentley. Okay. That sounds right. Yeah.

“I'm trying to remember Larry telling me his name 14 years ago.”

And I just don't have it. I understand. Yeah. Okay. Um, what's a Colorado Mamosa?

Often called a Colomosa. Hard side or base twist on the classic champagne cocktail made by mixing traditional hard side or with fresh orange and lime juice. Yeah, me. Okay.

The top most viewed tiny desk concerts, because you said Anderson Pax was the biggest ever. You were just saying sports. Yeah. Do we'll leap up? Is the biggest?

142 million views. Wow, sirs.

Then Mac Miller, 137 million.

Then Anderson Pax. At what? 118 million. Okay. Let's get Anderson up there to the top of the door.

Well, that's a list of members. She said she has a-- Yeah. Wonder what? Yeah.

Watchers first. But also, let's get Anderson. And the number one slot. Um, all right. Mac Miller, that--

That was my introduction. Yeah. Somehow when--you know, as I told you before-- The desk is so great. It's so cool.

Good for them, man. I know. I found a phila. Two Pax or Phila? Two Pax and some phila's.

Okay. That's cool. And he's in front of a Jaguar XJS. Yeah. It was for an insert of one of his albums.

He wore them. They were Grant Hill sneakers. Ah, Detroit, Ding Ding Ding. What a player, Grant Hill.

Always let the league in triple doubles.

Something just happened with two Pax. His murder was convicted yesterday or the day before. Wow. Some 18 years later, whatever it was. I don't.

Just think about having murdered someone and you've gotten away with it for like a decade. When do you start thinking like, well, I guess I'm probably-- Yeah.

“I think 14 years in, I would be like, I guess I got away with that.”

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Whoa. Can never get comfy. That's the one of the--

Scary. Prices you pay for mean of murderers. Prices your life, you're like, am I going to prison? Yeah. Do you think they like it kind of like what happened with Steve, the pool?

Like, they kind of get off on like-- Well, you know what? I have a little bit of a moral conundrum. Sometimes these people get brought to justice like 30 years after the fact you read about them. I know.

It's like, when you read an 82 year olds getting sentenced to life, I kind of don't like it.

Well, as they did like Robert Durst.

Yeah, for sure. So, but I agree, if it's like a one-end, but it's still like-- It's just like, well, fuck, they were already out for 30 years. And then it caused any more wreckage.

“Do we really need to now spend money to make an old person die in jail?”

It gets tricky for me.

I want to-- it wouldn't be tricky for me.

It was my love one that was hurt. Exactly. But although-- Maybe outside of that dynamic, I just go like, what's this all about?

What's the point of this?

So this guy can die in jail? It depends on someone the crime. Yeah. I think, maybe. I don't know.

Yeah. Not saying anything, but just-- Okay, I'm not gonna say anything. But do you want to tell me you kind of? No, because you'll be mad.

It could be a spoiler, so-- Okay, okay. Oh, wow.

“You know, I've got a cork case, I don't know about--”

Um, all right, well, that's it. That was everything for Lizzo. Yes. One time coming, I'm glad we got her. Me too, so fun.

All right, love you. [BLANK_AUDIO]