Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day

No, not at all. I'm so sorry. You're so sorry.

You're all right? Yes, exactly. I'm so sorry that I'm just a part of the studio. I'm just a part of the studio or a part of the studio. I'm sorry. I'm not as sorry. I'm sorry. - You're right.

With what? I'm sorry. I did an Asian girl, you too are disgusting. I'll eat you, or something. I'm a bad friend. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I'm just a part of the studio. I'm so sorry that I'm just a part of the studio. Happy birthday, fancy, happy birthday to fancy be it's his birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Okay, enough.

“Enough about your birthday. What did you get him for his birthday?”

What, what, Maddo, homo? Maddo, homo. - That's a good banger. - Maddo, homo. Carlos left. - You pay him. Maddo, homo. That's the best you could do.

My dog died. Let's talk about it. What's that?

That's you on the cruise.

Look at how much fun you were having on the cruise. It's just cruise, Bob. Bob, you're on a boat cruising. Who are these two friends of yours? The cruise I can't do. - I think it's a good idea.

This is what happens. Which are the girls? - I don't know who they are. Which of those girls did you end up being rude? None of them. None of them. That's a good friends. What's that, Bill?

None of them used three times. You appeared out of nowhere. That's a funny thing you ever said. Oh, that's funny. I have no idea who they are. It looks sweet.

This is what happened. You have your mom's eyes. I'm Bobby Mommy. I'm Bobby Mommy. Yeah, yeah.

What happened that night? I did a show.

“We did that Rolling Stone shirt I have on.”

I did a show. Did we talk about the cruise? No.

Oh, there's the first time we've meeting.

We haven't been together in weeks. Oh, weeks, weeks. Can I take this off? It's like somebody's a distracted. Leave it on.

You're a bull. Okay. It's actually a line perfectly because right above the tail is your face. And that's where that should be. Okay.

So what happened this night? All right. So let's talk about the cruise in general. Yeah. Adam divine.

And Anders and Blake did a cruise called. This is important cruise. Yes. And all I did was the only person I saw mostly was Swartzon. Yeah, Nick called me a lot.

Yeah, yeah. We ate a lot. And then sometimes Eric Griffin would show up. Right. And we were like a whole fuck.

Because I have to pay for it. When you're eating.

“When you show up, you have to pay for it.”

You're like, oh my god, here goes the pill. Wait a minute. It wasn't $5,000. It wasn't free on the cruise. No, because you have to pay extra for the good stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before the cruise, I'll tell you this. Get this out of the way. Okay.

Okay. My dog guy, right? Right. Your dog guy. Right.

You say what? I love you. I love you. I'm sorry. I broke my heart.

Right. Andre has nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Carlos.

Nothing. I meant to say, who were? How tasty. And then? What?

How tasty was it. Okay. I don't know the whole. Let that sit. Let let us ponder that.

Right. No one say a word. Okay. And I'm going to answer that question. It's changing right now.

Yeah. I'm going to answer that question right now. Very cake. Very delicious. Very good.

All right. So we didn't know. And then McCone, right? Asking for money. What?

For the polar plunge. Oh, right. Yeah. Asking for money. Did you end up giving him money?

No. I refuse. I refuse. My dog died. I'm sorry.

You're dog. No. No. No. No.

I like it when it's on. Take it off. I can't keep it on. Keep it on. It's really funny.

It's sweet looking. You're a bull. I'm a mathador. I'm a mathador. All right.

So I'm the cruise.

What happened? On the cruise. Okay. So I show up on the vow. And then Nick goes.

So you know you're doing two shows.

You know that's right. He told me. When I go, well yeah, just five ten minute spots at these like showcase. Really. You know, like the comedy story.

He thinks he's at the store on a cruise. Yeah. Yeah.

“I think it's going to be twelve guys on a line up.”

Oh, you're up at nine forty five to fucking nine fifty five. Mm-hm. There I mean. And it goes. No, you're headlighting a feeder.

Yeah. They give you money to play a show. I had no idea. Okay. Right.

So I got off the boat. You left. I got right. I got right off. Okay.

Now I'm calm. Yeah. You're calling your agent. I can't. I didn't sign up for this.

I didn't sign up for it. Yep. I didn't know. Well, you okay. Yeah.

So when you don't know, you don't know. Right. Right. Right. We don't know what we don't know.

We don't know why we're in. We don't know why we're going. I can give you some hints. Yeah. I know.

We're not a political show. Yeah. We don't want to talk about it. We're the same things I ran. I don't know what I don't know why we're doing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a blooming enough.

So we don't know why. We don't know what. Yeah.

“So I get back on the book because I guess I have to do it contractually.”

And then you already said yes. You signed up. They paid you. Right. So we go to.

I go to the first show. Yeah. Packed theater. It's a fucking theater. So now.

But it's rocking back and forth. I don't know if you know this. You're a midshot. You're a, it's wave. We're the middle of the ocean.

All right. Yeah. You're, you're, you're, you know, stand up like this. Dude. It's insane.

Yeah. But you could, you got physical too. Right. So you're doing double things. Right.

You're balancing and doing physicality. Double duty. Double duty, baby. Yeah. And I have to say.

Right. That that first show. Fucking. Crush. It was incredible.

Incredible. One of the best shows you've ever done. Probably. Wow. I get off.

I'm like. Oh shit. I'm a cruise comic now. Yeah. You're mean.

This is, I could do this forever. Bobby on the high sea. Yeah. On the high seas. Right.

And then the second show happens to be.

What happened? The same people come. Same show. The same exact people come. No.

How many people are on the boat? Thousands, right? All I know is this. The first eight rows that I could see. It was the same eight rows in the first.

Wearing the same close. No, but I know their faces. Because you run into them on the ship. Right. You know, you know everybody.

Right. You know what I mean? Hey, jam. Hey, Cliff. Samantha, how was the little pool pool?

Oh, whatever. The pool pool? Yeah, yeah. Right. Tanya.

You know, you do. Right. People are gambling. All right. You'll come on over play, Blackjack.

Okay, Frank. Nikki. Okay. Frank. Nikki.

Yeah. What's wrong with you? Yeah. They're on the boat. Okay.

Same show. Same show, right? I go up there. Right. One minute in.

Ask anybody that was there. Silence. Tanking. Tanking. Why?

I did see that already a day before. But how much time did you do? 45 minutes. Okay. You're sinking.

Okay. Well, you. Yeah. I was sinking. It was bad.

Yeah. It was Titanic for me. Then three minutes, and I was like, I just stopped the show. You didn't. You acknowledged it.

Oh, I had to. You had to be like, I stopped, I go. Everyone's heard this before, right? The whole audience goes, yeah. And I go, well.

You're just going to see the camera. What else did you do? You did the same act again. No. I started doing jokes.

Like, so it was. So in the first show, there was like three of my pretty good jokes. I completely forgot to do. From your special. From my special.

Okay. Right. So I put those back in. Those killed. And then that would go back into these other jokes.

And start bombing again. Because they already heard it. They didn't laugh again, even though they heard it. And here's the dude.

The photo was incredible.

You sent me your dog.

“What is it with you guys taking pictures of dead things?”

It's like he does. Dad's dad sends me a photo immediately. His dog guy sends me a photo immediately. Yeah. By the way, the photo of the dog is.

It's so sad. It's beautiful. He's wrapped him up in a little like swaddling, like an imager. Yeah, yeah. He's like a little baby Jesus.

Baby Jesus. Yeah. So, um. Bojo. Anyway, I, uh.

Bojo. No, it was Remy. It was Remy. Yeah. Say anyway, um.

I continue to bomb. And um. You're bombing bad. bombing bad. And I just take my clothes off.

Yeah. You know how I do it. There's always. I get sir. What?

There's an answer to every problem. There is. And when that problem is tough enough. You take your clothes off.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's an adult cruise.

“And you've got a great body now because thanks to.”

Life in prison, right? First day, right? Take your clothes off. Take your clothes off. Yeah.

Don't fight. Problem solved. Take your clothes off. You accept. Right.

And you get stretched. And you got stretched. I got stretched out.

So you killed on the second show because you got naked.

I bombed. No. The first show killed. Second show. I had to survive.

And you did. Yeah. You fought and survived. I had to do bingo night. Make it.

No. Bingo night was fun because I did with Griffin. And I decided to do, you know, my prayers. Oh, yeah. For Thanksgiving.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so I told the whole audience. We're probably 255, you're there.

Or I get on your knees. Right. Everyone. Right. I did a prayer.

And I took the mic. And I did the longest prayer about the ocean. And I have the sea dwelling. We can't even go deep enough. Yeah.

Because it's the mystery. We haven't even discovered the species down. You know, and went on and on and on. It was so far. Well, that was fun.

So you killed. Kill that. And then so this photo. Let's go back to this photo. Yeah.

This photo for the people at home. So there's this thing. You wonderful women are there. One of them's wearing lingerie. So it's seen.

Mm-hmm. Uh, and this is where this after hours. Okay. What are you zooming in my hand for? You just want to say.

It's above the waist. The positioning is right. Yeah. The positioning was very. Correct.

So give us this.

“Give these two young ladies that are on the bow with you.”

Okay. So this is the night eye bombed. Is that the captain? That's the captain on the left. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the captain's ship. We drove the boat. Yeah. And then one of the writers.

Yeah. We hit three icebergs. There's four. Yeah. Yeah.

So. Yeah. So what? So that. I don't know if you.

I've you never been on cruise ship.

Never. Yeah. Well, also. I'm going to pitch you. Please.

Yeah. The bad friends cruise shell. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's so fun. I don't want to be on a boat.

It's so fun. All right. I'll do it. I'm telling you right now. At the end of the day.

I'm glad I went. It was worth it. Oh, my god. It was so worth it. Because you're.

You know, you're with all your friends. Yeah. And that area is called the Haven. So it's like, you know, we're. It's separated from everyone.

Oh, you're in your private. It's like, it's. So it's like eight luxurious. You know, me and cabins. Cabins.

Ah. And in the middle of it is a pool. Steam room. Jacuzzi open 24 hours. And 24 hour catering.

Just for you. Just for me. Comics. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

“I mean, I mean, Griffin was down with everyone.”

No. Was he really? Wow. Oh, my god. Yeah.

Griffin was up. He's a friend of the haven. And he couldn't get up. He didn't get to the haven. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. I never. He was complaining the whole time. How do these girls get to the haven?

I have no idea. But I was just sitting there and. After I bond with the wings. What do you say? With the wings.

They got into the haven. They seem like they had passes. Got to do it. Yeah. But when you're.

For your birthday. You're all. Yeah. I don't know how. You know, I think it was the manager.

Hmm. Of the boys that part them up. Right. Just sitting there. They got, can we take a photo?

Let's do a funny photo. How about, you know, we, you know, the brass thing. And I'm like. All right. So I did a funny.

I think.

And I never saw them again.

You never saw either this women again. No. This photo got on the internet. It's a great photo. Yeah.

I mean, you look good. Yeah. This looks like a fun night. Yeah. Well, I mean, it was.

You killed it. It was, it was a fun experience. And then you went to Mexico. And we mean, Eric went to a little. You went to Haleesco.

Talk, talk. We got tacos and a little restaurant walk back. And then you turned around and came back. We came back. And then, um, went straight to Philly.

Yeah. So, guys. Let's give it up for this guy. And I want to ask you a question. As a friend.

Hmm. And as a comrade. Hmm. And as a brother. Okay.

Okay. And as a. Um. Search. That's it.

What's your searching? Yeah. Yeah. Love her. Okay.

Okay. Is this. Is. I can say this. I did a scene on a show.

And my scene was opposite. Stavros. Love. Funny. More funny, guys alive.

Killing it. Yeah. Right. And I. In the scene, there was a lovely actress.

Hmm. In a mean. Sitting on my lap. And we're having a conversation. In between takes.

Right. I look at that. And I go. Excuse me. Can I smell your armpit.

Yeah. Yeah. So I smell that. And the Stavros goes. You can't do that.

Why? That's why.

In the middle of the scene.

No. It was between. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

You can. Yeah. You can. Middle of this. If it's in the middle of the scene.

No. It wasn't a part of the show. No. Oh. That's an interesting move.

No. I asked. Hold a minute. What? I asked the question.

Can I smell your armpit. Now. I go. May I smell your armpit. As a joke.

As a bit. And she goes. Yes. You can. So what.

And the Stavros goes. You can't do that. And you did. I did it. It was a rift.

No. It was fine. But my point is. Is that what you think? I think you shouldn't have done it.

Why? Why? You know what? I support you always. I know.

But why? Why? It's not a.

“What did you need to smell her armpit for?”

Okay.

Would Andrew have done it?

No. In a million years. No. In a million years. No.

But we had already. We've already hung out. There's no flirtatious. No. It wasn't a flu.

She's married. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It was just a joke.

I was like. Because she was. It was right here. Can I smell your armpit? Okay.

To your credit. She's sitting on you. You're in the scene together. Yeah. Arm is around.

They say caught. Right. They're setting up a different thing. But like don't move. Because we're just doing a little adjustment.

You want to know if she's. What you want to just. That wasn't even in the thinking. Anyway. It was just something.

As a joke. I go. She laughed. Stavros goes. You can't do that.

He's jealous. That's a pure case of jealousy. Thank you. That's how I would like to be able to smell her armpit. But I can't.

Yeah. Why can't we smell things? We should. We should. If you ask nicely.

If you say may I. Yeah. And you said may I smell. May I smell. She gave you one big huff.

Yes. What did it smell like? Purity. Purity.

Purity as a essential oil.

Like an essential oil. You had a lot of fun. The last couple of weeks you've been cruising. My dog died. You got three more.

It was the worst. It was awful. It was awful. Bring the girls in. Bring the girls.

Yeah. I feel bad that the dog died. Broke my heart. Wow. Look at this.

For fancy's birthday. Wow. And you guys wanted to sing your song that you guys wrote. Broke. In Spanish.

And you've been rehearsing it last night. I was. They were watching the Harry Styles thing. Yeah. It wasn't.

Who wasn't? I thought that line is foreign on Melrose. Yeah. Yeah.

“Do you come talking about the he likes watching you?”

Look up line in Los Angeles on Melrose. Yeah. I thought somebody told me he was for Harry Styles. But there's been a line for like four days straight. What's going on?

A line on the streets of Melrose for Harry Styles. Is he releasing an album like signing or something? He already released his new album. But it's on Netflix too. Okay.

Look at this. For Harry Styles, L.A. pop up. Dude, it was around the block. Because it's scary. But you just waited outside to do what?

Just to. He's not there. But maybe merch. Maybe merch. Maybe merch.

All right. So sing fancy be this song. Well, so last night they were watching the Harry Styles thing. And then I heard them say, well, I know that is Andreas's birthday. It is.

Let's write. Get him in a song for his birthday. And I heard them rehearse. Let's hear it. And I can't wait to hear it.

So. Right. Yeah. And I know that. I know that.

So let's go. Let's go. I'm so excited. Happy birthday, by the way. Here we go.

Here we go. Happy birthday to. I'm just. Me am. Me am.

We love you. Happy birthday. Hey. Hey. Yeah.

Now you guys were hurt. That. Yeah. Now you guys were hurt. Yeah.

Yeah. She wrote. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She sat down and wrote it. It was beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. We should give Andreas his gift.

We bought him.

“You guys know he's been wanting a new car for a long time.”

Yeah. We decided. We decided. He's going to get a Tesla. Yeah.

I got it. But we got you a cyber truck. Is that okay? Yeah. But it's up 21.

Right. There we go. Thank you guys. That cost. You know how much that cost?

$4.95. So. Yeah. Happy birthday to you. And your daughter can go right here in the back.

In the back. Be pretty. Be pretty. Thank you guys. If you look inside, it's one of his android's.

No. Yeah. Yeah. He's in the other one. Yeah.

It's great. Yeah. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Okay.

Happy birthday. What a good song. You guys song. Yeah. Look.

Look like you might be. Let's see. Yeah. You might be. That's a compliment.

You more than you though.

Yeah. Yeah. Because the style is right. Well, she put all the effort. She did the whole thing.

Yeah. He did the whole thing. Yeah. You're more like. You're like more like Hollywood.

What an Mexican would look like. You're like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. She looks like she busts his tables at Casa Vega. Casa Vega. Yeah.

Yeah. Heems. I love him because they take care of all my needs. They do.

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Girls talk about the dog. We're sorry about the dog. Who found the dog? You were out of town. No, I was here.

Oh, it died when you were here. So what happened? Yeah. I thought you were gone when the dog died. No, no, no.

I was here. I was there. Didn't cry at all. What? Huh?

Didn't cry at all. Why not? You didn't cry. No, I didn't cry at all. You were sobbing.

You're wailing. Oh. Like a black person. Right. Why do you take up?

Hey. That's right. I was doing like roles. So you were shocked. You were numb.

So this is what happened. Confused. Yeah. What happened was. So Randy is a dog that we've had for.

I don't know. Fifteen years. Just come here long. Twelve years. Yeah.

One of the fires. He was left at a pound. Yeah. And they said, you know, they had such an influx of animal. It was one that they were going to euthanize.

Right. So collilet. Collilet and I went and got picked up Remi. And we as a foster dog. Yeah.

And we would give Remi to a family. That dog would run away from that family. Come back. And run toward our house in our direction. Let's cue.

Right. And he did that twice. So we kept him. You have to. Yeah.

We have to. And Remi is. What a beautiful dog he was. And so on Friday. He was at.

Because he. He. He sometimes says that our house. And then sometimes that collilet house. Right.

And at this time he was with a collilet house. And she. She killed him. Yeah. I knew it.

I knew it. I knew it. Just wringled with that. Just wringled with that. I knew it.

I saw that coming. Yeah. Yeah. So he died at her home. No.

No. No. Go ahead. She told me when I was babysitting there.

“Like, oh, I think Remi is telling me that.”

It's time. No. And he was just. She was just crying and Remi was just like. He couldn't even move anymore.

He couldn't be like on his own. I'm breaks my heart. And yeah. And he couldn't. Yeah.

He wouldn't eat. And then she's called me. She's like. She goes. I go.

Can we do it Wednesday? Can we do it Wednesday? Can we do it Wednesday? The death of like not tomorrow. Yeah.

Can we do Wednesday? I'm free Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because Thursday have therapy. You got stuff to do. Yeah. So I can process it. Right.

Let him die on Wednesday. Yeah. And she's like tomorrow. He's got to go. So we go to Colala's house.

And the whole process is weird. Number one. You know, I've never.

The seven animals that I have are the first animals I've ever bonded with.

I love them so much. Um, I spent a lot of time with the animals. I, you know, and I, um, so I don't know what the process is like. So we're at the house and why is it so quiet in here? We're listening to you.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, a lady comes over. Right.

And. There's. He started to work. He started to work. He started to work.

He started to work. He started to work. He started to be so hot. Yeah. You're so grateful.

The nurse that came over. That came by. That came by. It was like, that's my wife. Yeah.

Yeah. Immediately. He started to make jokes. He's. Yeah.

“And everyone just like looked at him weirdly.”

Yeah, but she was beautiful. And you were in a time of need. You were stressed. I understand this. Yeah.

I was like, do it. He was vulnerable. No, but we were crying. And then he was crying as well. But he was crying for pussy.

He was crying for help. Yeah. I was going to do a, hey, grasshopper walks into a bar. Hey, we were named. Yeah.

You have a grasshopper. It was Steve. Whatever the fucking joke is. You got it. You got it.

That was it. And whenever the joke went wrong. Yeah. So I was doing that. And then then she gets serious.

And she's like, this is the process. Do you know what the process is like? No, I don't. I'm sad to not know yet. Do you want to know or no?

I guess. Yeah. Yeah. There's two shots. Yeah.

Two gunshots. Yes. Yeah. One to the heart. One to the head.

One to the heart. One to the head. What? Who'd you do? One?

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I was. I was.

Yeah. And he was still going. He was still like. He was hanging in there. He was hanging in there.

He was hanging in there. He was hanging in there. Yeah. Yeah.

So the first shots fill a value.

Other things. Senators. You know, the real nice to calm. Yeah. I mean.

And he did a face like. You know, like one of the peace at peace.

And then. Yeah. What? No. I'm not done.

Oh, sorry. The fuck bro. Sorry about that.

I assume the second shot was kind of.

That's not the end. It's like an A24 movie. What? All right. Sometimes the ending.

It just goes off.

“Like, you know, lower the rings the third one.”

So a little too long. It should have ended when you know, I mean, they all bowed to the hobbits. Remember that? No, no, no, no, you don't bow.

We bow. And everyone bowed. And then you're crying. Each of the end of there. Yeah.

But that's not what this movie is about. Yeah. Yeah. This movie is going to continue. It's not going to have a point.

Got it. I'm logged in. Yeah. He had to do a speech. When.

What? When remedy? You said you wanted to do a speech. And that's when the vet was like, okay. You can do your speech.

No. No. It wasn't a speech, Juliana. I went up to remedy. I whispered something.

It's ear. That's not a speech. What did you whisper in? But you're making a big deal out of it. Well, it's dead.

It's a big deal. What did you whisper in his ear? This is pissing me off. This is. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke.

Was the vet still there? Yeah. This is pissing me the fuck off. I know what's going on. No, you don't know what's going on.

It sounds like they're telling the truth. Yeah. They're pan-bondying it. They're pan-bondying the situation. All right?

Down 50%. No, listen. What's your doing? So check it out, okay? I wanted it.

I wanted to whisper something into Remi's ear because what I was doing.

“But before that, you were like, can I just say something for everyone?”

And what did I say? You were just like, this dog has been. You just did a whole thing. And then you just kept looking at the fire. I'm not.

I'm not. Okay. Anyway, I did a speech. What did you just say? I think I did a speech.

I'm kicking this off. Fucking kicking this off. I'm kicking this off. I'm okay. What'd you say?

What'd you say? What'd you say? I just recently said, thank you. And I love you so much. And I'll see you again.

You know, when death occurs like my dad. You said the same thing to your dad. And they did a selfie. When death occurs. Yeah, I believe that when death occurs, it's a weird feeling.

I always believe I'm going to see them again.

You will. I always believe they're still with me. I'm going to see them again. And so it's almost like I'll see you soon. Maybe because I'll die soon.

I don't know. I hope not. Yeah, I'm either, but you know what I mean. But I just feel like I'm going to see them again. And I don't know, man.

That was one of the toughest. When we're making light of it and stuff like that. But it was tough, man. It was really hard. I wailed.

I wailed. When you, you put him in that swaddling picture that you sent me of him. And like a bed. It was like a bed. Mm-hmm.

You made? No, they bring it. They brought the bed. Yeah.

“And they take it away or do you want Remi on your property?”

What do you mean? Well, people bury their animals in their yard all the time. No, no. They're being committed. They live in an apartment.

I'm going to get the ashes. There's a-- I'm going to bring Remi back to my house and bury him in my backyard. People do do that. That's a very--

Yeah, I have his hair. Yeah. You did. Yeah. But that's not abnormal.

People do bury their animals in their backyard. But they're here between like the sack and the bubble. I wanted that hair. You wanted that hair. Yeah, for some reason.

You wanted it. It was very-- it's not even funny. It's not even funny. You know what I mean? But they pre-made it.

Yeah. And he's got the ashes. I think us. I think us. Yeah.

You don't know? [LAUGHTER] You don't know where the ashes are? Yeah, we do. It's us.

No, we're-- [LAUGHTER] We just set it, dude. Okay, I got it. All right. Get with it.

Yeah. No, they bring their own bed and then they-- it's their own blanket and-- Yeah. And they flowers. Yeah.

Right. And they just kind of take them away. Yeah. And you go, uh-- You don't want a part of, dude.

This is-- because I didn't post about my dog dying on TikTok or Instagram, right? Yeah. You want a part of--

This is a photo when we first met.

That one dot-- right? This is the last photo taken together. I fucking hate that shit. Hmm. Well, do two months later, the skeleton.

You know what I mean? [LAUGHTER] I mean, this is two years later. I mean, why do you keep going with that then? Right, why not?

Yeah, yeah. My point is is that it's not something to-- Yeah. I don't want-- you know, maybe people to go, you know, go. Oh, I'm so sorry.

I know we're talking about here on this podcast. We're going to get a sympathy. A lot after this. For sure. But that's not where-- I mean, this is the podcast.

And, you know, we tell our fans what really is going on. You just didn't want the attention. Yeah, but to-- to post it, I felt like it was weird.

Not us. I'm just saying when people do it. People lose their dogs and stuff. They post about it. Yeah, they do a thing.

Yeah, they do a video. They do a video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But bring light and everything. Yeah, but it was--

There it is. First and last photo.

Yeah, first and last photo.

Oh, my god. I do cry when I--

“Well, see, that-- those some of these are workers both died.”

The person and the dog and some of these. Oh, they did. Yeah, that kid died tragically. [LAUGHTER] The dog still alive.

Oh, it is. Dog is thriving. [LAUGHTER] That's terrible. Yeah.

Well, you know what? A wonderful run. And you're going to get another dog again? No, I'm not. You got to get one.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, I'm down to six now. Get it up to six. No, no, no, no, no. Six good.

Six isn't enough? Yeah, we have three cats and three dogs. It's a perfect family. So it's a good number. It's a good number.

And-- What are you going to miss most about the dog? Oh, my god. About Remy. Uh, I love one dog's--

We have one dog. Um, that's a betrayer. Ooh. Oh, stubby? Yeah.

Because stub loves everyone.

Just not just you. Yeah. If you walked in the house, stub would hop on you. Best friend. Best friend.

That's great dog. Yeah. Right? But Remy wasn't like that. Remy's like, no, you're my guy.

Loyal just to you. Yeah, yeah. Who Leo's like that, too? Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Goonies, not like that. Our cats are orange cats. Yeah, goonies are slut.

“Yeah, cats are either slut or they don't talk to anybody.”

Yeah, yeah. Um, that's why I love Bojo. My white cat because he only loved me. Mm-hmm. If I'm laying down, he comes right to my chest and lays there.

Just for you. Just for me. Right. So Remy was like that. And so I had a special bond with him in that way.

And, um, I don't know. I'm going to miss him a lot. Where's the joke? Where's your joke, aye? No, I didn't.

Yeah, I wanted you to get that out. Oh, yeah. You should have a joke, there, guy. Yeah, but your dog died. Think that off.

I'm really like that. Mad homo. I'm sad that your dog died. Yeah, I'm, it's devastating. And also, you know, I, you know,

I played with my dog a lot when you told me your dog died. Do you really? Took her outside and went nuts. Yeah, better extra treats. How old is she?

She's eight. Oh, my God. It's a good number though. She's a good, it's a good number. But she is eight.

Yeah. She's not young. It's, you know, no one ever told you know, when you buy, when you, when you, when you buy, when you, when you, when you get a puppy, you're like,

you just go, oh, but you just don't, you know, I had no idea that you could literally bond with it. Like it's family. Yeah, it is. And then all of a sudden, oh, it's like my kid almost.

Yeah. I kind of connection. Right? It's, it sucks. It sucks.

It just sucks, man.

“Well, I think there's millions of people that,”

oh, that are, oh, well, the fans who had that experience, they know it sucks, but we'll, uh, good memories, good memories. Can I get some towels cleaned? Oh, my God.

I will. When was the last time you did laundry? Mama, our mom did laundry two days ago. But no towels. No towels.

I'll do it tonight. Will you? I will. Does that sound real? Well, who would happen to you?

You, you wash you fold? Yeah. Just like the old days. I've, can I guess, can I be honest with you? And this is not a joke.

Right? I've never seen them do. Oh, my God. This is not a joke.

You've never seen them do laundry.

I've never seen them do anything. Well, the mom does. Except mom lay down and watch, you know what I mean. HBL. Right.

Oh, you're always in your room. So how could that be? That's what you had never seen us. What? You're always in your room.

Yeah. And so how could you see us? Guess what guy? I'm like Daredevil. Okay.

I have seven senses. He knows what he knows. I have touch, right? Right. Right, Carlos?

Right. I have touch. I have vision. Right. But I also have hearing abilities.

Right. And I know what a fucking, you know what I mean. Wash your sounds like when it goes off. And a dryer. What does it sound like?

Yeah. That's exactly right. So when I'm in my room, my other senses don't. We see that those sounds. The frequency is.

Okay. I'm Daredevil. Yeah. Okay. I have hypersonic.

You know what I mean? I'm like a bat the echo. No fucking dryer. No dryer. Yeah.

Okay. I'll wash tonight. Okay. My senses better feel it. My senses better feel it.

I'll hold it nicely too. Like your mom does. I will. Do you know how to do it? In the circular fashion.

No, it's kind of like that though. It's like a circular like, I don't know where they learn it. It's great. Maybe from the islands or something, but it's a beautiful way to do it. Well, when they on the right over it.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no. I want fucking circular.

“Perfectly in the fucking, you know what I'm saying?”

Ah, that's my mom. We'll call her. Um. It is outside.

And she's in the middle of a hot summer day in Mexico.

She's getting into it. Yeah, no, I love that. Yeah, getting character. And then we, uh, another thing is we, I showed them the movie. What movie did I show you?

The edge of tomorrow. Yeah, pretty good movie. That's a great movie. You guys watch that together? Mm-hmm.

You see it? I watched, uh, have you ever seen that movie? Yeah, years ago. Yeah, yeah.

“I watched the George Clooney movie this past weekend with my parents.”

Where he's an actor, he's himself.

He plays himself. He's a sailor in it? Yeah. Oh, there he is. Good. Good.

Jay Kelly. Good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I was okay.

I don't, it's hard. It's just Clooney being Clooney. Mm-hmm. It's like literally him playing. It's like a narrative as real life.

Mm-hmm. And it just made me think how good it's got to be to be Clooney. What's that? Oh, what's that? Someone here? Is there a delivery? I tell you, we have another delivery.

Another, another birthday gift for you. Another car? No, look. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Taco Bell.

Yeah. I got your taco vendors. What's the order that you gave him? I got beef potato griller chicken bacon, Chalupa, large fries,

another large fries. But I already ate the fries, so you-- Thank you. You ate both of the fries. Yeah.

Smart. Yeah. That's the best part. Have you ever had Taco Bell? Not really.

It's not a Spanish. It's not. What is it? What is it? How's it not Spanish? How's it not Spanish? Taco taco and Belle and

There's so many bells is spanned dude. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food. It's a food

There's so many bells in Spain dude. It's a food. It's a good treat. That was invented. I think the bell. Take a bite. Yeah, take a bite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so disrespectful. She went out of her way to buy it. Yeah, take a bite and give us an eye. Is that a Golita? Now, this is a chicken bacon. What did you get? Chicken bacon. Chaloupa. Chicken bacon. Chaloupa. Yeah, yeah. Take a bite. Let's see. Oosterfreude for all at all, the price. Ferrero, Kinder, Oosterhase. 5 and 50 grams for 99 cents or golden seafood roachalax XXL. 220 grams for 0.3, 0.970. All the good for all.

You like it? It's like the homeland. No, okay. You don't like it. We'll give it to McCown. He'll eat it. You know, he'll eat anything. What is Chaloupa mean? Right tortilla, the shape of a boat with a spicy feeling. But it's made up. It's a taco. It says right there in Spain and Latin America. It's a small light boat or canoe. Isn't that what a taco is? A little light boat? A little baby boat. Yeah, yeah. But it's Chalupa is a thicker boat. A thicker boat. It's a thicker boat. It's a fried bowl. I see, I see. A fried boat. Like you were on a Chalupa at sea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're on a little boat. Two chaloups on my face. Yeah.

“Chaloupas. Chaloupas. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, it means little boat or canoe. How do you not know that? Chaloupas. Look on the horizon. Chaloupa. That's what they would say. Yeah. A little tiny boat.”

Mm-hmm. Also what I've been doing with for these girls is I set up the VR sandbox. Yeah. Do we talk about that already? What's the VR sandbox? Get with the program guy. What is it? I don't know what it is. Yeah. Google BVR sandbox. These guys don't know. Sandbox VR.

Oh, that's where you guys went and fought shoot zombies. I saw that video. Yeah, yeah. That's so fun. Amazing. Did you guys do that?

We did that on La Sienna. Like more centricity. Yeah, that's us. Your position. Good. Yeah, my position is great. Look. Yeah, look at my position. That's even put the gun down like a soldier so he doesn't shoot friendly fire. He even knows. That's how you reload. Reload. Yeah. Reload. You're reloading a lot there. You shoot. It's a lot. The two girls, the girl I'm seeing and us and you know who got number one. You did it. She didn't you bought the laser gun. Obviously you'd win. It's all teenagers and then this 54 year old. Yeah, with the laser gun.

You got the opportunity to get it. There's two things going on here. That may be mad. Okay. Okay. Yes. Let's do two things. Let's do two things. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I cheated. Yeah. Okay. I cheated. I bought the laser gun. Did you guys have access to the laser gun? I mean, the girl I'm saying got the laser guns.

And she still couldn't win with the laser gun. She took second. Okay.

You're only allowed to have two laser guns. Right. So I go, what do you want? Oh, I guess I'll take the handgun. [laughter] You're a miss. I'm like... Yeah, spray and everywhere. No wonder why. Look at play the video. Look at the stance. Yeah. He's got the kids going in. Yeah. On the left. On the right. Yeah. On the right.

Yeah. Yeah. You guys screaming, bumping into each other's funny. That's the funny scream.

It was only her, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. And then let's address the second thing.

One, fifty, four-year-old. Do you don't think I forgot? You don't think I forgot that comment? A fifty, four-year-old. Yeah. Oh, you don't want to do it? I'm a child. Okay. I play whimsical games. You do. You have a, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You liked it. What do we do yesterday that I set up? Is that key for you? Escape room. Why do you like those? It was fun.

It was fun. Such a white person thing. I know. But I set things up. You mean, I'm, I'm a guy that plans. Did you escape? Yeah. We did escape. Yeah. We did escape. Yeah. We did escape. What? Who figured out the escape? The people that worked there. [Laughter] It's like, hand-tanned, hand-tanned. Yeah.

All right. We didn't do shit. They told you. Oh, yeah. The Bobby, the Bobby, wasn't the team leader. Yeah. Actually, we did a lot.

“And then the only thing you were doing was like, I think you got to take a hint.”

[Laughter] Who took the, stop? Who took the wire? Who took the wire with the hook? Who took the wire in the hook? Put it in the hole. I think that's a lot of con-con-con-con-con-con-con-con-con-con. But you were screaming. Yeah. Did they work? Okay. Who did that? You. That was complex. Okay.

[Laughter] You were gay angry. You were so angry. You were screaming at her. Screaming at her. The girl. Yeah. My date. Yeah. Your date. Yeah. You were so angry at her. Yeah, because she wasn't doing it right. It's one of those, it's one of those things. What, why are you smiling?

I'm listening. All right. So basically, what, what this situation is, is it? Okay.

It's like a gigantic fish kind of like a fish bowl. No, like, yeah, bowl. gigantic one, with levels to it. Right. It's like a fiberglass with little tiny holes in it. Right. On the bottom is a key. Right. You stick a- [Laughter] All right. He's stick. The little, you know, I mean, metal thing with a hook on it.

“Inside the tiny hole. And then there's another hole. She has a stick. [Laughter]”

All right. She has a stick as well, right? I got it. You got to bring your, bring your stick over to hook mine. So then I can stick it out and stick into the other hole. So we can bring it up. So we can get it out of the bigger hole. I'll top. Got it. Right. Yeah. That's all I was doing. She couldn't do that. We eventually did it. Okay.

We eventually did it. Did you got it right? Fight about it. It's not a fight about it. It's even air. I go, you're not doing it right. No, that sounds like a fight. That's no, that's just me being a leader. Did she get upset? It's me being p-hex-half. You're hex.

Yeah, yeah, I'm worn it out. You know, you got to be a commander. You got it. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we did get out. Yeah, on time. Yeah, on time. Yeah. Speaking of touring comedians, this guy big tour coming up announced the finally tour. And then I'm done. And then I'm done. You're done what?

Torium. You're done what? Done. Don stand up. For a while. I stink. That smells like bullshit. Yeah, you stink too. No, you stink. Okay. Let me smell your armpits. No, but it looks awesome. This is your first time doing theater tour. I wanted to- I wanted a theater tour. I never done one.

“Well, I wanted an announcement. I think it's important moment in comedy because most times,”

you've never done a theater tour. It's amazing. It's my first one.

It's incredible. So, I think it's so cool, dude. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. What are you guys excited about? Coachella. No, you're going to go. Are you not going? The device going without me. I had to buy them.

That is very interesting. I have a body, yeah. No, we have a big bill. I know. It's expensive. What is- How much is Coachella to go to? I don't know anything about it. This, guys. Google, what is a regular Coachella take a cost right now?

Well, right now. What is that? What do you already know? Yeah, because they're at a thousand right now. A thousand dollars a person to go to Coachella. Normally, they're 500. Yeah, no.

Holy shit. That's just a regular admission ticket. I went the third year it existed. If you and I went, just you and I went, it'd be free. Yeah, yeah, just you and I, but you just want to go with just you and I.

Yeah, but you didn't have to get from me for my birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Yeah, yeah. Who's the headliners this year? Oh, I don't fucking don't give a shit.

I'm a greener. That's in me, where. He's the old man going to go with the Tesla at the Tesla. Happy birthday, dude. Okay, so wait a minute. Which weekend are you going?

This is what we can do.

So this is the second weekend.

So you guys are going to see Sabrina Carpenter, Justin Bieber,

“and who's Carole G? Am I out? Am I gone? Am I stupid?”

I don't know who that is? The strokes in Interpol. Carole G is bigger than young thug. Yes. Who's Carole G?

She's like a Latino artist. Why are they putting all these Latino people all over our lives? Do we? I get it. Is she playing the Super Bowl next year? He's really good.

Carole G. Do I get Interpol and strokes? Yeah, yeah. Because we know Paul from, you know. Love.

Yeah, yeah. And I love the strokes. So I mean, that'll be good for me. Zoom in. Yeah, you'll be there.

What does it feel like to be on the second night there after Bieber? Go zoom in the second night there. What does that feel like to be Yamaguchi last on the list? That would be bad friends if we had lines on something. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We'd be after Momant Orban and Reardon. Yeah, yeah. Despits and what a more.

Gency, bad friends, and Yamaguchi. Hello. Is this Yamaguchi? Are you still coming? I don't know.

Why you pump your left? No, no, no. Your first. No, no. In your country.

Don't you read backwards right to left? But still in our country. If the last name is the last.

“You should go, you should go Justin Bieber.”

And then Yamaguchi. I don't know. We'll work on it. Okay. That's crazy.

That's crazy. David Burn. This is really good somber. There's some really great stuff. Yeah.

Royal Otis love. You guys are going to have such a fucking fun time. I'm so happy I won't be there. Yeah. What is it?

April 11th. March 9th. March 8th. April. Yeah.

Next month. Oh, my god. I'm so excited for you guys. You have to come. That's awesome.

You gotta go. What? Why? Because it's a long drive. It's an absolute nightmare.

It's an absolute nightmare. It's a nightmare. Yeah.

I would never do that one year.

Do you remember that one year? So funny. I know we talked about it before. If you guys got stuck for like five hours. No.

That's what it was. What is it? Can I say tell the story again? Oh, I remember. Yeah.

You called you. So I called. I called my agents. Yeah. And I go.

You know, Kalyla and the girls want to go. Right. And they're like, yeah, I pay for it. Right. Which was.

By the way, ungrateful. You guys do the towels tonight. You do the towels tonight. All right. You want to go to a fucking the desert.

Towels tonight. Do all of them fold it. It is sort of a faction. Fashion. Okay.

So anyway. Yeah. All right. And you know, I pay for it. Right.

And the day of Kalyla goes. You literally have to be there to pick up the tickets at the box office. And I go. I have to drive four hours into the desert. And then drive back.

You do. And then she's like, yeah. And I did that. And you found out when you got that that you didn't have to do that. Yes.

Maybe the, maybe the best part about all of it. You didn't actually have to do that. But you should go to this. Because you can have a blast. You're going to go see some great bands.

Interpol is going to fucking rip. I mean, think how many think there's a lot of bands that that you definitely want to see. Moby. Okay. Okay.

So here's the thing. Well, it does. This is the. This is going to be the first. And the last time.

I go to fucking cook. Yeah. Okay. You already went. I've never been.

Yeah. I went to pick up the tickets. And I go back. Yeah. I never went in touch.

I'm going to go inside. Yeah. I'm telling you right now. I don't care. If next year every style is going to be there.

there. I don't give a fuck. I ain't going. No. All right. So are you sure this is the year you want to go for that weekend with Justin Bieber? I know you're going to love Justin Bieber. You're going to have so much fun. He's like, I'm not going to see Justin Bieber. What do you mean? You're going to, he's on the main stage. I know, but I'm not going to like physically be around. No, but you're going to be dancing. You're a little hard out to just

I don't know what even, send me a song. Baby, baby. Oh yeah, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. - I will be. I will be. - And the other one I like is... - If you, no?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, - No, no, no. (laughing) (singing) - No. (laughing) - What is it?

- Okay, so, um, we'll all be there. The girls, too, right? - Okay. - Right, we're on a boat, okay. - On a boat.

- And all of our fans are gonna be there. - All the fans are gonna be there. - Yep, okay. - I'm already... (laughing)

- It's already shaking. - It's pretty good, right? - I'm shaking.

“- I think my proposes is good so far, right?”

- Yeah, okay, here's the thing.

- All of our fans are gonna be there. - On a boat.

- All right, you and I will perform,

we'll just do two shows in the main stage. - One show, one night, one show, the other night. - If the boat is Sunday through Thursday, we'll do a Monday night show, and a Wednesday night show.

“- Is that what they usually are, Sunday to Thursday?”

- Yeah. - I mean, that's what we did. - Okay. - Although when we landed, we saw Chelsea Lin. - Getting on the boat.

- Yeah, they're like ours, our next. - Oh, they're doing a boat. - The same boat that we were on. - Oh, well, they just, they clean it so close. - So close.

- Flip these boats. - They flip them, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I have a better proposal. - No, no, no, I'm not done with my proposal. - We take, how about this?

- Okay. - We take a flight from LA to San Francisco. - Yeah. - Our fans can buy tickets on that plane. We'll do a little stand-up.

It'll be a 45 minute flight. We'll get off, and that'll be it. - No. - Okay. - Bad friends for air flight.

- Okay, so, and then we get to control the line-ups. - Okay.

- So we'll call our friends in.

- Mm-hmm. - Hey, Gillis. - Hey, you won't do it. - Yeah, Shane Gillis. - Already, no. - No, we'll call Shane Gillis.

- You know what, you're right. I'll call Sandler. (laughing) - Heavenheart. - Yeah, yeah, guys.

- Gilbert. - Gilbert, yeah. - Louis. - And I'll go, guys, we gotta go both things, yeah, yeah. - I get nervous on those things.

- I know, but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to really see your fans.

“- I believe in multiple lives, so I'll do,”

I'll do it in a life. - And also, there's gambling. - I do love gambling. - Yeah, so there's a casino. - Ooh.

- And I was playing Black-Shock all night long. - It was so. - So I do love that. - Real money? - No, it's real money.

- So you're actually losing money. - You're losing money on that. - Oh, yeah, I lost about three grand. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but. - Notable incidents of boat rides,

2025 carnival horizon had somebody kill another man. Man over board on the Morella Explorer. So November, twice in August, passengers drowned, carnival's new celebration, key resort in the Bahamas.

All 2025, passenger died aboard the carnival dream. This feels like a lot. - These are old people, though. - I would hope so. - Yeah, yeah.

- But I don't know. Well, by the way, we want our fans to come on this boat, but you have to be over 65 to do it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The show's right, 330 p.m.

- Yeah, I'll tell you the negatives, though. - You'll tell me the negatives? - I'll tell you the negatives. - You tell me the negatives for it. - boat.

- Okay, okay, all right, that's good, that's a good negative. - Okay, that's a really good negative. - boat at sea, trap, nowhere to go. - Okay, do the diary. - I very good.

- It takes out six something breaks. How to put it off the thing. - Yeah. - Middle the ocean. - Okay, hi, Chris.

(laughing) What did I just say? - I love you. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - What are the negatives? - Give me the the negatives, 'cause I already feel it.

- I'm scared. (laughing) - It's the food. - The food's terrible. - It's not good.

- Yeah, it's cooked on a boat. - It's cooked on a boat. - Even like, even the fancy Italian restaurant you may have to make a reservation, it's all of cardio, you know what I mean?

It's not good, you know what I mean? And then the tepanyaka, you know what I mean? - The tepanyaki wasn't good? - No. - Oh, no way.

- Yeah, yeah. - The boat, tepanyaki wasn't good. And then there's this thing, where it's a 24 hour free, just, you know, everyone's there.

- It's a buffet. - buffet. - Right. - And those are my favorite. (laughing)

- It is herable. - It's bad. - Oh my gut, it is bad. - Well, you're not pitching it well to our fans. - No, those are the bad aspects.

- Oh, so they can, okay. - Yeah, they can't. - They can't expect. - Good as a great spa. - Wonderful spa.

- Great spa, great that the pool, right? Pool's great. - Pool, fun. - Yeah. - Right.

(laughing) - You have a pool. - I have a pool too, yeah. - Oh no. - I can just go to your pool.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But here's another thing I was like, (laughing) - There's another thing that I would like to pitch to you. - Yeah, yeah. - It's a, it's connective tissue.

(laughing) - It's the listing, I'm listening. - Yeah, it's people that love you, right? - Our fans, at us, connecting in a way, right? - It's a very special experience for our biggest fan,

because only our biggest fans will be on the ball. - So you're saying, because I will say this, all joking side, we adore the fans. We appreciate them so much. I love the fans, I love seeing them.

I love it a lot. - Yeah. - But you're saying the way to really get close to the fans is to make them pay to come on a boat to see us. - It's not just the pay to get on the ball.

- Oh, so it's free. - No, you have to pay. - Okay. - You have to pay. It's them being with us.

- On the boat. - So it's like after a show, it's like going out and sitting in the middle of the audience after the show. - But it's wavy. (laughing)

- It's wavy too, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm gonna be honest to say this. - Yeah, yeah. - Let's do a boat. Carlos, do it online, whatever we can do it.

Yeah, if people would, if they would come. Let's see how many people would come. - Okay, you know what this is like? - Yeah, yeah. - You don't want to say, when a buddy does coke,

and somebody does coke, and they come up with like a hair-brained business scheme,

and they're like, it's gonna be amazing.

And they pitch it to you when they're sober,

“and you're like, I don't know if you should do that,”

chicken shop, laundromat, you were thinking of. - Yeah, but sometimes YouTube. - Sometimes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that Chinese guy and that other guy, right?

where everyone wants to buy?

“- Because every comic I know who's been on these cruises,”

sports and included, just to the exact same thing. - Yeah, what? - I wanna do a cruise. We should do a cruise. Sports and stuff, the exact same thing.

- I know. - He was like, I wanna do a sports and cruise. - Yeah. - And every other person that's done him and goes, I wanna do my own cruise.

- Yeah. So everyone gets this bug. Yeah, because we did it, we had fun. I know. You don't know anything about it. That's why I think you should do it. - I'm not fun. - Here we go, that's the truth, right ladies? - I'm a who's funer, a Tito Bobby or Tito Andrew.

- Tito the wrong. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fun, yeah. - So do a Bobby Lee cruise, and I'll wave from the shore. (laughing) - And there's Andrew right on the side.

(laughing) - Okay. - I'll get on the boat with you. - No, you won't. - Just in no way.

- That was the thing that we talked about on the boat, I mean, I imagine Andrew here right now. - Why wouldn't I do it? (laughing) (laughing) - Yeah.

- I'd rather do a show on land for the fans.

- Okay, good, it's different, it's a different thing, but anyway, let's move on from it. - Yeah, yeah, let's move on from it. - And you're trapped, yeah, yeah. - And if would you guys do it? - Yeah, that'd be fun, right?

- Fancy would not wanna do it. - Carlos would do it. - Oh yeah, Carlos.

“- Carlos some of Com would do it because they could be a little bad boys.”

- Yeah, yeah. - Rome around, look at for girls. - It's every STD. - Yeah, imagine a little bit. - Yeah, he's fucking a mermaid.

(laughing) - How'd you get a mermaid? (laughing) - In a siren. (laughing)

- How about this, if the boat doesn't go far, I could do it. - Yeah, it didn't go far. - No, I'll do one here to Catalina. How about that? (laughing)

- I'll do a Catalina boat tour. - A ferry. - I'll do a ferry. - I'll do a ferry. - I'll do a ferry.

- I'll do a ferry. - We can roll boat. - Yeah, we can roll boat. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Come sail away, come sail away with me.

- And then you have to raise the bow. - I will. - Okay. - I just have a legitimate fear of. - We could do like the end of Titanic,

where I'm just a non-affucking. (laughing) - You're on top, right? - And I'm about to die. - And I'm just, let's do that. (laughing) - Anyway, if you can find a more clever way to get our fans together,

I am down. - Okay.

“- Not a boat, but I would love to interact with the fans,”

just not on a boat. - What do you guys would want? - What? - To interact with the fans. - Do you want a bad friend's boat tour?

- That's the best. - I hope to ship dude. - Yeah, I will. - How about this? How about we get you two on a boat all the way back

to the Philippines? (laughing) - Yes, one way. - But that's it. - Yeah, we fly back.

- Yeah, we fly back. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - We send you and then we fly back. - Yeah, yeah.

- Now, we could, you could convince me. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - There is ways, there is ways. - To do a boat. - Do you could convince me if it was,

if it was a short trip and it was, yeah, you could convince me. - Okay, what's the shortest trip that we could do Carlos? - Well, going to the Philippines.

- Salem to the Philippines takes four to eight weeks or more. (laughing) It's gonna be pretty tough. - That one, that one's gonna. - Imagine.

- Imagine Andrew's just in his cabin. (laughing) - And they can't get me off the hook 'cause I'm swinging. - Yeah, I don't know.

(laughing) - Imagine. - Okay, wait, let me say something. - Yeah, yeah. - I would, I would shoot a TV, a reality TV show

of you and I, and then taken a boat to the Philippines. That I would do. That would be fucking hilarious. We'd have to live on the boat for how long? - Four to eight weeks.

- I could do that for four weeks. - And us four, if the speed. - Well, it'd be with other people. If we'd be going to the Philippines, it'd be a lot of like, "Buck, buck, buck, buck,

"everyone's going to the Philippines." - I know, but like, our fans do it can buy tickets. - Why would the fans in the tickets? - It's just, it's just for us. - For us to go to the Philippines.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I have a connection with my fan, Dave. - Stop it. - I'm sorry that I'm grateful for their love. - This is good, turn out the gas. - All right.

- This is good. - I'm grateful. - I'm grateful to them. - You know what? - Some people aren't, some people are,

watch, some people are. - That's what they're doing for. - Am I not right? - Yeah, that's right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That's the reason I do. - Don't get angry, are you angry? - No. - No, no, look at me, are you angry? - I'm too tired to be angry.

- Oh, okay, good. - You tired, bud. - I'm so tired. - Why? - I was with my parents for two weeks straight.

- Oh, that's right, how are they? - I don't know. (laughing) - That was great, we spent time in Arizona. We did that whole thing, then I brought them back here to LA.

The problem is when people come to town,

you have to do things all the time. There isn't a day that's off. - I bet you all your hard work with your parents that they're grateful. - Yeah, they're.

- I bet at night, they think them to self, what a great son that we have. - I hope so. - Yeah, and we're grateful for his effort. - I hope so. - Yeah, we love him for him playing ahead, right?

And all the things that our son does for us. And we're willing to do anything to make our son happy. - And then the very next day they called 'cause they couldn't log into Apple TV and we yelled at each other on the phone for 15 minutes.

- Yeah, exactly. - He's like, why can I type my fucking name in the goddamn Apple TV? - Is that what you're dead, did? - Yeah, and then I had a face time.

so I could watch what he was typing.

“And he incorrectly put the password in three times.”

Instead of just doing back space, he cleared it every time. So he had to redo it every fucking time. - Wow. - Lovely people.

- Yeah. - I love him so much. - So, you know. - But the stress of family is hard. - It's hard.

- Is it not hard? - Is it not hard?

Is the stress of a family-hard?

- No. - Yeah, yeah. - For me it is. - Yeah, right. - It's a weight.

- I'll clean the towels. - Yeah, that's what I was saying. - That's what I was saying. - That's what I was saying. - I'll clean your room.

- You haven't cleaned it yet? - Yeah. - I told you to clean it. - Because we got to go here. - Yeah, we had to come here.

- Oh, yeah, that's right. - Okay.

“- Well, we didn't have fans at any time whatsoever.”

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Talk about fans in it. - Can I just, I'll be honest with you. I swear to God on my mother's life. - Cool.

- On her left half, 'cause you can hear her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - My mother's right here. - Yeah. - Okay.

- Yeah. When I was on the boat, some guy pulled me aside, he goes, "You know what makes the show?" And I go, "Me and Andrew?"

And he goes, "No, fancy." - He's right. - He goes, "He makes the show." He's the bind. He's the adhesive.

Without that, I don't think he's the... - Are those surmaccone?

- Never mention their names.

- Yeah.

“- I swear to God, that's what he said to me.”

- Mm-hmm. - What'd you say? - Best middle man. - Best middle man. - Best middle man.

(laughs) - Yeah, I don't even know. - He's the best middle man. - Yeah, but I just don't. - Is it again?

- Best middle man. - Don't say it again. - Best middle man. - Best middle man. - Okay, good.

- Do you have anything to say for your birthday? - Yeah. - Feel good, you feel more... - Yeah, I don't know. - Yes.

- How was it, bitch? - Okay, go ahead. - I feel so lost. - Thank you for being a bad friend. (upbeat music)

(upbeat music) - Yeah. (upbeat music) - Yeah. (upbeat music)