Incel Interior Decorator

at part of my take. I want you to hear this, put on your headphones. This is an interesting, interesting thickening the plot over here, maybe. That's here at Indigentino. Bad friends, great show. I don't know, platforms, Apple Spotify, YouTube, great guy. Indigentino, shout to him. All right, so I won't get into details, but if you were to say, you can't pick Bobby or

Andrew Santino as your favorite parts of the bad friends podcast, what would be your third favorite

or one first favorite part? I'll go with a fancy in the booth. I'll have to him, great guy. Wait,

“he's a film producer. Does off on videos? Who else is in the booth? Film producer?”

Yeah, I think I have a problem with that. All men. Yeah, the booth, yeah, a lot of men in the booth, yeah. They have shots of the booth. Do they have any producers? They got, they got recurring guests. I think the lady who plays in the band on Kiltoni is recurring once upon a time. What about the girls who's obsessed with eating on festivals that we could maybe have you go out on a date with? Oh, no, she sits on the inflatable couches. That's not the booth. Oh, yeah, great show. What

is show you guys could all check it out. It's great show. I don't know. She loves them, cross the bulls. Great. I will say great snack choice. Yeah,

across those fantastic sandwich. You have great eyes. I've got a, I actually have a, why don't

know if I have any more, because I did move. I did have a crossbow puncher. So I could make a crossbow at home. Oh, you had your own? Yeah, they, they make ones you could just punch them out. Fuck yeah. Yeah. So you could do with ham and cheese and peanut butter and jelly. Sounds like you guys are making a great couple. I, I, great show. They, they run a great program. Oh, my God, he likes here at the program. He likes it. Really likes it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He got scared.

Yeah, that is true. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We still collab. So, oh, we got to do a coca, pausing on him. Yeah, pausing on him. It's fat andro. They should be a bad friend. You don't know fat andro? This gentleman is a big crush on you. Yeah. And he's, he's perhaps

“shooting his shot is what I feel like it. That's what I feel. He's a really nice kid. I met him.”

So, uncrustables. You like them. I don't even know that. There's an unclosable in the house. She ate them on the bird pod when those guys came on the show. That's right. That's right. She ate like six on camera. Okay. So, here's Zach right there. Um, would you go on a date? Was Zach perhaps Rudy? Um, he, I like his eyes. You like his eyes. That's a good start. That's there at being blue is what I call it. Are you interested in maybe going on a date with

this man? If we set this up, the guy in the left, he's got a big big crush on you. He was too shy to say it to me when I met him. But now we know the truth. Maybe what does he do it? He's a producer for that show for part of my take. He's a producer and he's very good at job. Unlike the producers that we have on this show. I'm not having cheese idea. You like the ham and cheese and crustable idea. So, this is something we can move forward on perhaps if we can

get emerging of maybe where does he live this guy? Chicago. It's not going to work. I think it is. She doesn't like winter. We'll travel for love is what's accent. Okay. So, that's him on the right. Cool guy. Cool guy. Gress as well. Good style, smart, sweet, funny. Yeah. Very funny guy. So, what do we think? Rudy, can we maybe do a date? Yeah, maybe. We love Zach very much. He's the man. And maybe we'll set up a little date for you guys. Because you might like him. His style is cool.

So, is that a guess? No. Wow. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Welcome. You're another episode of Bad Friends. I'm your captain and Robert Young Lee. And I'm on the shore saying pick me up. Pick you up and I'm going to pick you up. Listen, as the fog, woo, woo, exactly. Hey, can we go to an ICP show at some point? Woo, woo. I want to get sprayed with fego and get soaked in sugar water. Have you not seen these

“concerts? They look so fun. I want a woo, woo, woo, woo. You know who I see. Yeah, bugger. What?”

What's ICP? Well, I got it. It's closely related to urinary track infections. Yeah, is it? That's ICP. That's the insane clown posse and the shows are all over the internet again. Yeah. Because they spray everybody with fego. It's exhibit number one. Can we go to can we go to it's pop it's soda soda pop. And that's fine. That's fun. Yeah, it's fine. They're spraying everybody's spraying everybody with soda pop. And they all wear me. I do great. I was at this.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not orangeed up on this. Fanta. I was here. Yeah, yeah, he was fanned to up on this. I was playing a show in DC and someone goes, "There's an ICP gathering at the reflecting pool." Dude, no, this is back in the day. This isn't recent because they went there before and I went and I was there. I was there. Yeah. I got UTI there. You're in it, you're in it,

you're in it. You're in a track infection. ICP insane clown posse. You never heard of them before?

No. No. Well, he wrote, Rudy Jules is back on the show. Give it up. So, yeah, and I want to say, um, welcome back. And I live with her. And I, um, you know, she said, um, what did she say when your mom left? You're going to clean. You're going to do

exhibit number one? This is this is my fridge. Okay. This is my fridge. And my fridge is supposed to be stacked with sugar free red bowls, diet coke, and balls of water. And what we got here exhibit is an ice doom on the side. All right. So, we got one of those ice dunes that you love. And then, yeah, so nothing in there. And an exhibit number two, please. No towels. This is supposed to be packed with towels. That's fake. It's not like re-stock your towels.

Too late. Too late. Too late. I feel like you just take out the towels. No, no, no, no, no, no, you just do it many hours. Exhibit number three, please. You went from A to two. This is, you know, what this is? Worts, footworts. It's a very close. Yeah. Yeah. It's she let Hulu out when my girlfriend was over. So, was supposed to coordinate Hulu goes eight shit crazy and bites her and bites her and the fucking foot and she starts crying. Can I be honest? It's it's it's it's small. It's not that bad. Yeah,

let that's that's her fault. No, that's not Hulu's rabbit. You know that going into it. No, but she was supposed to. I've been coordinating. It's just it was so quiet. I thought like, oh,

we eat quiet. They're all right. We eat quiet. We always love it. Yeah, but at times we are quiet.

Usually you would be like, oh, we're at the that's not. No, I'm not dude. I'm not. I have no you are. What? You can just say, oh, you're the IRGC. Okay. All right. You're going to act the way you're going to act. Right. But I don't like it. And that's not bad. It's a bad reference. It's the IRGC. That's a bad reference. But what is that? What is that? What? The IRGC and Revolutionary Guard Corps. They got that right. Ironian Revolutionary Guard. Are you watching a lot of face the nation? How do you

is? Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps. The IRGC. Yeah. So, I got close. I'm tuned out of all this. I know you are. Not even remotely interested in it. Yeah, but they're involved. My point is is this, okay, that you made my girlfriend cry. I know. I was so sad. And I wanted a public apology for that. Well, here's the time. We're on public, we're on public. Yeah. Not here. Why am I saying sorry? What? Because she's my girlfriend. Apologize to me and I'll relay the information to her.

I've always said sorry so many times and she said it's okay. Yeah.

She just cried because Julio was. It was so traumatic. I saw nobody likes to get bit by a dog. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody likes it. I mean, nobody likes to get bit by a dog. Yeah. This is not a fun thing that happens. It's not a fun thing that. And people who don't have control of the dogs don't

“stock the towels and don't stock. What? Say you should feel better. What? Say you. I still. I clean”

his house every week. It's just I can't do it every day because I'm also babysitting. And he wants me there 24/7. Who are you babysitting? I mean, she's also babysitting you a little bit. So it's kind of it's a baby in a real baby. He doesn't know how to clean the dishes. It's like there's shit stains everywhere. Yeah. There's like blood stains from from my girlfriend's from you. Yeah, not a blood stain from my girlfriend from her foot from being bit by a dog. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot.

And like, I'm also babysitting. So I tell who you babysitting for. Um, Esther's baby. Exactly. Exhibit B dude. Exhibit B. Yeah. Or exhibit two. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's two or be. Yeah. It's to be. So, um, what say you? We're not. We're not or not to be to be to be or not to be us coming homes coming home. I don't care what your mom's coming back. Oh, she has. I love

“my life is back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She has to come back. I got to take her out on a dinner date.”

Yeah. I'll take her wherever she wants. Yeah. Yeah. Good. I'm going to take her on nice restaurant. Yeah. Hey, you know what? She's going to live with me now. She's going to live with me in my wife and she's going to be, and you know what? I need her to because she's doing shit. Oh, yeah. I need her to do it. No, we need to. I'm taking my Filipino. Take her. You cannot see my Filipino. Yes. I can. Yeah. I got on discount. Do you have a contract with him? No. Well. Yeah. Yeah. You ought to get a lawyer

dude. You've never paid rent. Oh, my. Have you? No. Exactly. The free car. No peace for your phone.

I don't know. I don't know. You pay. Exactly. You don't know that. Someone I don't know. I just got it. You got the bill. Yeah. I got it. I just got it. Yeah. I do. Yeah. Yeah. What else? What else is going on in life? Besides, you're not stocking the towels in the fridge. This baby sitting getting cute. How many babies?

“Esther has two kids now. Yeah. Can you watch him? No. Yeah. He will never be them. Why?”

Because it has a sphere. Do you even get there? I don't have a what? That's sphere. I don't know.

kids? It's like a when do you come over to my house? No thanks. I just don't have like pool parties at

my house with kids. Like I meet his daughter because he brings her here. If Esther came on the show and brought her kids. Yeah, but if I have a date, like I have like a pool party, I mean with all the kids, which I do. Not going to that. I go to adult pool parties. I know. Well, that's the problem. That's your problem. Why? Because Colal has a baby comes over. No, put it in the cage. Don't you lock those things up? Put some bananas in there and you can

“walk away for a couple hours. Why kids? That's what you do with whites. Yeah. Yeah. You lock them up and”

you go. I do. No, Brandon. Yeah. No. And then you go do whatever you need to do. Yeah, Chad. Yeah, Chad. Sit. Yeah. My parents used to leave me in the apartment and go to the bar around the corner. And I look at them out the window walking to the car. I would want to white kids live. You just leave it. You do? You can leave whites. And you're going to go climb the cliff. They love the climb the cliff. We live. We're big cliff climbers. Jump it off. Latch key kids. That's exactly right. That's

what we are. Yeah. Latch key kids. I was Latch key. Were you? I was a survivor. I was a survivor. Yeah. We're out in these streets. I were on streets. I was driven to dangerous. Elementary is the mashed potato game. They threw mashed potatoes at you. You did throw a few for sure. Yeah. I got into school by a guy in a station wagon with his wife who could have easily been childhood doctors. We just got put in. They were like people in the neighborhood. Yeah. Not good.

We had no homeless. This is when I was in Chicago. So we had homeless. But I mean,

I don't want to go. I had no homeless. Right. Yeah. And then when I first saw one, it was like

stop, stop, stop. I mean, you want to hug him. It was like running into Cannes. I was too homeless people that were on the news. They were boning right up the street from here. Yeah. They're boning. Because when you don't grow with homelessness and then you come to L.A. And you see it shocking. It's great. Oh, you like movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Voldemort. Well, you heard it here. If you're a homeless person, if you need somewhere to live, we'll put up

Bobby's a joke down below. Yeah. Good Bobby's house. Yeah. You poked one. Yeah. I didn't think it was real. A homeless person. Yeah. Yeah. And I went. You're so highly wood. It's so real. You think it's all part of. I thought it was all part of. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Casting. That was all about the AI movie magic. So you're just babysitting. That's all you're doing. Yeah. Good. Pull the mic closer to your mouth. It's been a long time. It's been a long time. Well, she doesn't have the headphones on so she can't even hear

that she cannot. Yeah. Yeah. Don't put it on. It's fine. You don't want to ruin your hair. Yeah. I want to ruin your hair. I'm she, um, had some romantics. Romantics. Yeah. What happened to that guy? You were dating that guy that was on. He just came back. Wow. Yeah. He came back into the picture. The Belgium guy. What happened with that guy? He came back. Did he not come back? He came back. And that's it. Yeah. Oh, so you're dating again? No. No. That's over.

“No. No. It's not over. Friends with benefits. No. It's just fun. Are you playing the fifth?”

It's just something. What is it? Fauci? Yeah. How the fuck did you let that happen? Yeah. How did you let that happen? Yeah. What is it? So you we're just talking. We're just blah, blah, blah. It's not like there's a label in it. Yeah. Labels are hard. Sure. But especially in that age reigns. They don't fucking. They don't know. Yeah. Your generation even don't. They don't even know how to do it. Yeah. So yeah. So if he text, if he text you, now to hang out, you're going to hang out

or go, no, no, no. Yeah, but he's in Belgium. So I thought you said he came back. He came back last two weeks ago. To hang out with her. He's saying you're a place. No, they get it. She pays for an Airbnb. No, he did. Okay. He did. All right. I don't have money for that. You make you waffles? I mean, that's the Robert. Yeah, they love it. They love strawberries and waffles. He's a white dough. Yeah. He's handsome. Shocked that you're with a white. Yeah. Trader. Yeah. Trader, I've all the after all

this shit you talked about the white. Yeah. Yeah. Now you're back with a white. Not that white. All right. Okay. I don't want to hear about that. Yeah. You like babies? I'm okay with them. She's good at

them. I would never hand you a baby. No, she's so good with babies. Oh, my God. They love her.

Doubt it. Yeah. Yeah. She's like the Filipino version of that one girl. Hi. Hello, Timmy. Who's that guy? Mr. Rachel? Yes. Okay. I go over that one girl. Yeah. She's the kids lover. They do, huh? Yeah. Why do you think they love you? I don't know. They feel good. They feel safe

“around you. Maybe. The babies. Auntie, Auntie. But I got lady to like me. Oh, my God. Yeah. Who's that?”

Oh, my God. You have no idea what I did the other night. What? It was a it was like Lord of the Rings stuff adventure. I'll tell you that. Where did you go? In my house. What's I went to my house. And I it's my adventure. It's a small adventure. And um that's your long and so

And then I had to really stretching the bounds of they are it's a guide. All right. It looks like lady from the trail, lady in the trail. Oh, that's original. Yeah. Yeah, hack. No. But that. Yeah. She does look like that. Cute dog. Cute dog. So um the other day out she was gone. Right. And so this is what I do now. She leaves them in the sparrow. So when she's gone for a long time, I'll transfer the dogs into her room.

He never listens to me. He's so incompetent. It's like crazy. Yeah. And the reason why put her in

it, it gives her a time tick because if she's if you don't get the dogs are going to poo and pee on your bed. Yeah. That's good. It's good. It's a lesson learned. It's a lesson learned. So I keep them in your room and always be at their house. I get home soon because they're going to poo on your pee on your bed. I'm just going for hours. And then you you react like I'm gone for the whole day. No, that's that's not true at all. You you see you got a couple of nights of it. I can look at

you. Okay. We're time. Now eight. Those are the four hours. He's awake when you're gone. Yeah. Dude, you're so smart. God, you got an unlock. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. You need to free yourself from this prison. I tell him. I'm leaving at six. I'll be back around like 11,

10, 11. And then he acts like I'm gone for the whole day. And then he'd never listen to me. And

“then the dogs shit everywhere in my room. And he's like, that's what you get.”

That's what you get. That's what you get. Yeah. The irony being it's your house. But not not all my dogs. But it's your home. Exactly. So the poop is still inside of the home. I understand. So this is kind of a double. It's her room. Sure. It's a her room inside of a home that you own. Yeah. So still your house. When it moved when when you move out. Yeah. The poo house is still your house. I know. Then I do a deep plan. Oh, right. And also going to say this. The other

day, I made a very nice spectacle in your bedroom where the cat cats vomit on it and all the trouble of ants that went to you into your smart. Yeah. That's a little extra flavor that I put in there. What? I told you, don't let the cats inside the room. And you left the door so wide open. Yeah. And then there was so much vomit in and you're like the guy who lights the house on fire with his family in it. And you stay in the house. Oh, yeah. You don't leave the light too. Yeah,

“you have to go down with the ship. I want to those guys. Yeah. I'm finding because the heat”

we have baby lizards are in the house now. They've found their way in. Yeah. But I keep the problem was I keep trying to get them outside and I want to kill them. So I keep trying to like scoop them into cups because if you grab them, they're so sensitive. I tried to grab one, the foot. They're so quick, right? Well, it's foot fell off. Really? No, they can regrow stuff. What are you ripping feet? I want to grab with my hand like this, but they're so sensitive. They're

not good for touching. It's foot fucking came off. Wow. And then my wife was like, it's foot off. And then I try to grab it again. And I felt like another piece of it fell off. Yeah. And so at this point, I sandal-flicked it out because I'm trying not to kill it. Yeah. You killed it. And yeah. Well, he's limbless now. Yeah. You do it limb by limb. I call it. We call him Lutin

and Dan when he comes back. Yeah. The poor fuck though. This is the third lizard we've found in the

house. I've tried to get out. You're so small and quick. But he said because the the pool guy said it's because of all the heat that they're trying to come inside. Keep them in. Yeah, I would say that. Keep them in. Listen here. Poo room. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want the lizards in the house because then other animals are coming in. If the lizards in there that means other animals are in. It's a different house situation. If I room. Yeah. We don't have poo inside of our house. Yeah. We have like flies.

Why don't I don't even poo in our house? We poo outside. Yeah. They have high ceilings. Have you been to a house? We dug a pit. Yeah. We have high ceilings. No, you have high ceilings. They're like this. No. They're mentioned. The why we said you have a man. He would say that. Yeah. You do have a man. It's a regular house. Carlos has been to my house. Not a regular house. Is it like your house? Growing up? No. Now he lives in an apartment. Exactly. It's not like your house. Well,

house and apartment is not the same thing. Guy, you're getting very defensive. They said this. Sure. They're both fucking, you know, lodgings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Rod. It's a normal nice house. Yes. It's a normal nice house. I believe it's a normal. I okay. I really do. Don't get into this. You live in the hills. So cut it to fuck out. All right. I'll leave with hills guy. Who are your neighbors? Corral. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Okay. Hollywood. Your bird.

Bird. Correct. Sure. He lives nowhere near me. What do you do? It's flat land though. Oh, we live in the flats. Yeah. We're flat land. Yeah. You guys are the flat land. We're flat, we're flat land people. Like you. You're flat land people. Just for face. Why don't you just, why don't you just get your own apartment? Just get your own apartment. Well, I need an actual work like job.

“Then he'll give you some money. No, I'm not. You should give her some money. Just clean my house. She can't.”

I'm cleaning your house. I can't just tonight. Oh, no, you're going out. You act like I got to clean every hour.

Does your girlfriend, is she staying at the house a lot or no? You do does. Yeah. Does she do it? She's sleeping over more than nights, more nights than not. She's now. It's getting there. Like you think you'd move it. She'd move in. Is that getting to a close point? Because we are, this is kind of that time. It's been what? Over here. Yeah. No, it's not that time, Greg. It's not that time. No idea what you're talking about.

“You should move in, I think. Yeah. I think she should move in. Yeah. It's been a year or no time like today.”

And I'm going to say this. Okay. You're 55 years old. It's not. It's not. It's not. Dude, that, that, that, that, that's okay. Like sands through an hourglass. I have no idea what. So are the days of our lives. Yeah. That's exactly what I mean. And let me tell you something. These days, they're number. Yeah. And that's why I don't want to do it. I'll have her move in. No, no. I want her to live with us. You do. You love her. Oh, she comes in. You're out.

Never mind. Yeah. Yeah. If you're, yeah, no. If she's in, you're out. That's okay. Because she's the best.

And then we're going to go. I take a look. Okay. Good luck sleeping. You have a nice room now. Yeah. You don't you? Yeah. You're down stairs, aren't you? No, upstairs. Oh. And also, I read designed a room. Oh, you did. Yeah. Interior design. I'll be careful. What you wish for? Yeah. What? It's like what? It's just a quick and in-sell room. You live in it. Why is there no windows? It's just dark. Like the walls are not in-sell.

Darkness is not in-sell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Bring up AI in-sell room. I guarantee it's just a dark room with a computer and a plate full of food and empty cans.

“That's not in-sell room. Yeah. That's in-sell room. That's what this one. That one. There it is.”

That's where your room looks like that. Yes. No. It looks more like, go go up. Yeah. The first one. It looks more like that. Yeah. Dark like that. Yes, it does. Dark like that. This is dark walls. Yeah. And that's your fucking living room. High sea links. That's my living room. I've just had one target on the wall. Yeah. And a bunch of different blankets that don't match. That could have been us. That is us. That's us in our core. Yeah.

That's how two nights ago I went to go see a core-tet play. Michael Jackson's greatest hits.

It was amazing. A cellist, a piccolo, a violinist. And a monkey.

Go do bar. Well, bubbles were there. Bubbles was there. Yeah. Bubbles played. He better. It was amazing. It was incredible. It was hard to not sing along. You forget how many songs that you're like. I know every one of these lyrics. Off the wall's great album Thriller. You just know every lyric like you. It's just,

“I mean, if you want to tell me any, what? Tell me if you want to, Annie. Tell me if you want to.”

Annie, will you spend bit by smooth criminal? You got bit by smooth criminal. Yeah. That's exactly what I mean. That's exactly what I mean. That's exactly what I mean. That's exactly what I mean. That's exactly what I mean. And it don't do it one day. I don't want to. Annie, you've been bit by smooth criminal. Yeah. That's exactly what I mean.

That's exactly what it is. But I love it. There was it. Yeah. He Mikey, Mikey, Skype in to the show. That was in a, um, uh, uh, men and black movie. Yeah, men and black, too. Yeah. That was what that screen shot is from. I'm slow. So nothing new in your world other than babysitting. You're just babysitting. Yeah. Yeah. And what's your career going to be now? Now that you're free and clear of all

schooling. No, I still have to go back to school. Wait, I thought you'd done. No, she's in school. Graduate school. Oh, graduate school. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your degree in hotel financing? You're going to buy hotels. Yeah. What is it? Business management? Uh-huh. Environmental health. I think I'm just going to switch it to nursing. Like a good old Filipino. Yeah. Well,

you're you're going to hate that job. That's a fastest way to get, um, a job immediately. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you're going to hate that job. I know you're working. Well, I think it would be a podcast there after that. Yeah. Was Kalala nurse, yeah? Yeah. She was training. Yeah. At the Kalai, her sister at the Kalai. Yeah. Yeah. You got to be a nurse. It's in your blood.

Yeah. But she's, I can't wait for first day. And she's going to come over. I'm going to go see.

You're, you're going to hate it. You're going to hate it. Work for like two years. And then I'll just know, you just, you have no retirement job. You're going to make it up money to retire for two years. You're going to be running back to podcasting. Ethos. I just got life insurance. Thankfully. And thank you to ethos for doing that. And the best part was, uh, I applied super quick. And I can, and I did it online because back in the day,

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“Say it louder and in the mic. Just watch the honestly next time we talk about it. So Andre's”

texted me. What is that? And there was available tickets for, because I went fishing two nights in a row. That's not it. Oh, it's not? No. Oh, I thought that's the honest. That's not the other thing. No. I went fishing for tickets. And all of the 70 mills are totally sold out. The

IMAX is there's a few, but first row. Can I find me? Find me? You want to go? Find us an IMAX

ticket by it now. You put six in there. You have the problem. Is it when? No. That's really hard. Because I'll tell you why. Because it's going till September 12th. So we can wait until I get back from Australia. Get it? I'll buy it now. Okay. I'm working right now. Yeah, we will. We'll buy them too. But you're not going to buy them. He will. I will right after the show. Okay. 70 mill 70 mill. IMAX. IMAX. Yeah, I'll pay for it. I'm Australia and Hawaii. We'll do it. I travel and man. Yeah.

I'm a traveling man. Made a lot of times. I'm a red. Take me home. Yes. To the West. Place. Where I found. I belong. West patina. Ver. Carl. Mountain mama. Take me home. Take me home. Country around. Country around. Do you know who sings that song? John Denver. Thank you.

“Was that right? No. I was looking. This was one trivia now. Yeah. Do you know that song?”

Yeah. Yeah. No. You know you don't. Sing it. Take me home. Yeah. West Virginia. Yeah. Country around. There's no Colorado in it. Colorado. In the song. It's West Virginia. It's about West Virginia. Yeah, but there's no Colorado. There could be. Yeah, yeah. See if there's Colorado

Country rose. Take me home. To the place where I belong West Virginia. Mountain mama.

“Not Colorado. That's what I just told you. Yeah. You already said that. I'm sorry. My bad.”

I don't ever read it. You know, I just memorize the songs. Like the Annie one. Yeah. You do what they do in Japan where they do phonetics. They just. I love phonetics. So they where they just figure out what they think it sounds like. That's crazy. If you're seeing that when they do concerts from people from American, they don't speak any English, but they medically understand all the lyrics. That's how I listen all my life. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Any are you okay? Yeah. Any are you okay?

What's going on with Annie? She's not well. She's not okay. She's not. I know that from the lyrics.

But is is she heard? It's it seems like it. He's asked her so many times if she's okay at this point.

Yeah, how many times she asked her? Oh my God. Do type in how many times did Michael Jackson ask Annie if she's okay. Yeah. I mean, let's take a guess. I would say she's okay 24 times. I would say it's 50 some odd times. Yeah. 40 times. Oh, in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you okay? I'd say Annie. Any are you okay? Are you okay? Annie. Any are you okay? It's so hard to say. Any are you okay? Yeah. Is that what the lyrics are like me? Yeah. Sorry. Any are you okay? So are you okay? Are you okay? Any? Yeah.

That's a lot. I don't think that's that hard to say. See it. Any are you okay? Any are you okay?

“Are you okay? That's what that's what it says. This is any are you okay? So any are you okay?”

Yeah, but it's show is not in the rhythm of it. That's funny. It go. So any are you okay? Are you okay? Annie. Oh yeah. So any are you okay? Are you okay? Annie. You've been hit by youth. There it is. That's a you've been struck by. Why'd you say hit? Because it goes you've been hit by you've been struck by a food criminal. Someone was such a musical talent that you have. I have no musical credible you had done not a read music. Okay. Or lyrics. Or lyrics. Shut up. I don't know what's going on

today. I don't like it. It's a wild little day. It's a wild. Yeah. I'm lost. So your life's not exciting. It is exciting. She gets a looking. She looks forward to him when she comes. She gets a look. Good. I'm off today. What are you saying? She gets looking. That's brain is off. Like with his vocal cords. Yeah. Something's wrong. Yeah, you like. It's like you need to be reconnected. It's like they fucked up the wires. Yeah.

Like they put one towards the other thing and they were like shit. That was there are our Q wire. Okay. I apologize. Let me get back into your hair. You're here. No, fine. Let me grind it. I think I'm going to take you. Yeah. Take a gab. Yeah. Take a gab. Yeah. I'm going to take a gab. A nerve inhibitor. A nerve inhibitor. Are those ballet shoes? Yeah. Yeah. Are you in ballet now? No. It's just your ballet. It's just a trend right now. Yeah. Is it a quiz? Is that a popular thing now?

Yeah. Ballet flats. How do you know that? Coskim's awesome. They have them. How could you keep up? You know it's funny when she sings in the kitchen and I try to join. She doesn't like it. Yeah. Yeah. You and Ese do this where you go. You're making me. You're doing it for one another for your time. It's a real carpenter. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. And then she's chopping things. Right? Do you want to know when real time? You know that time. Do you want to know in real time? We not every one to know. Yeah. Hey. Go.

Every one to know. Do you want to have a good time? It's choppin' annoying. So then I'll come in and I'll go. Are you ready to have a good time too? Yeah. The backup. Right. The backup. And she goes, "Stop it, Tito, Bobby. You know, don't sing with me. Why don't you let him sing?" It's just his energy. Yeah. It's battering energy? No, it's not. And then it's like,

and then you'll never even tell me who's singing. Like what are you singing?

Yes. You know, as the song. Yeah. He sings that. Do you want to have a good time? Yeah. Here we go. We got nobody on that. Go. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. Everyone knows. They want to know. Do you want to have a good time? You know that song? Go. Go. Here we go. We don't ever want to know. That could be a song. It sounds like a song. It really does. I know it does.

You sang purple, right? I did. Yeah. That was nice. I went like this. I went purple, right? I see why she's with you. Yeah, yeah. I sang that. I'll tell you that right now. Do you ever homed yourself? I sing to the dog a lot. What do you sing? I'm just making made-up songs. Yeah,

“that's what I just did. But I to the dog. I'll just say, so I'm the dog who?”

What? What? Someone in the well? What's wrong? Song song song song?

So you sing song to the dog? Sing me a song. Fuck face. My little sweetie, sweetie,

puppies. My sweetie, sweetie, puppy. We go outside and have the treats and the and she's nice, sweetie, sweetie, puppy. We went swim and yesterday. So fond it. Oh, she goes in the water. She jumps on me. If I'm, if I'm like sitting on like a raft. None of our animals do that. They won't go on you or in near it. No, they don't like the water. Well, for a long time she was freaked out, you know, why we used to have at the old place we had one of those like solar covers that goes

over the pool to keep it warm in the winter and she a ball went on it and she jumped onto the solar cover because it looks like it's stable and she sunk into it. Yeah, they don't like it. And our friend Jeff Dove, I mean like because we're all hanging out outside and I see it out of the corner of my eye and he's already like Superman parallel like mid flight diving. But did it collapse on itself around? No, no, no, he's alive. You've seen my dog. Yeah, but grab their out of it. It was

fucking unbelievable. Yeah, he was a savior. He was a hero. He was a hero that day. We salute him every

time we see him. Who you're your friend. My friend, my buddy. Yeah, I would have never jumped in.

Thank you Jeff. No, you wait for your dog for any for your dog, I mean. Oh, you. Okay. Yeah, that's self. I would have watched. You watched my dog die. No, I would have watched and then I would have processed. And then what I do is I go, what do I do? So there's three little stages then. I'm kind of how you react. Yeah, I did. When she got bit, I I processed it too late. Why don't you just held her leg? I held her leg up like this, but he was still but with him attached to

it. Okay, that helps. Yeah. You didn't say stop or try to get him up. I didn't even know what was going on to be honest with you. When a dog is biting someone, you didn't know what's going on. Discreeming and all that. I have to process all that. You got a process. So stage four is when I do something. The blood when the blood comes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I guess it's good. You don't have kids.

“It might be. Well, because then it will, I mean, if a baby falls in a pool, you have to you can't”

process my bag. My bag. I'm off today, right? It's like someone hit. I'm like a cartoon. He speaks like, yeah, do you fall in your head? I did. Yeah. Yeah. You said, you know what you sound like right now? You sound like right before you fall asleep. You know when someone's talking you right before you fall asleep and you start mumbling, you're like, well, we're in a carpool. You know, you start saying shit. My wife says that all the time should be in full conversation.

I'll be sleeping on the couch and half in an out and she'll be asking me no big. I've got to be a sidebed about that. Yeah. That's where I'm at. I do that all the time. I mean, she's like, do you know what you're saying last night? Before I was like, no, I have no idea. Yeah. Because when I start when I not off on the couch, see, I'm almost impossible to get to bed. Yeah. If if I'm on the couch and comfy with the dog, I'm most likely not going to make it to the bed to fall asleep. I'll probably

just fall asleep on the couch and then I wake up to piss and then I'll come up and go to bed. No, so what time do you use a wake up on the couch to pee? Like if you realize five 30, I wake up to pee. Now, have you smoked weed or drank a little bit or no? No, no, sometimes I'm just tired.

“So you just fall asleep and then when you get back to bed, do you wake your wife up or no?”

She inevitably is waking up because I get, I jump in the bed. I can't unbalance. Right. That's not good. Well, you got to let her know your home. Yeah. I like to make silence. Oh, you're a little ninja. Ninja in the night. Do I tiptoe, right? I do slow, like, blanky. I do the slow blanks. Slow blanks. Yeah, yeah. I got like this slowly getting there. See, I can't do because then the dog, the dog wakes, it's you can't get in the bed. What the dogs are in

her room, you know, peeing and shitting. Yeah, I'm just privately slowly. I never wake her up.

It's impossible. No, no, I've got it on lock. The quiet stuff. Yeah, but she must be a good sleeper. My wife wakes up. She's impossible. She just like, well, if she hears the door, you're a big guy. I'm trying to lose some weight. No, you're a big guy. I'm going to get on my govie. Yeah, just the fucking shadow alone. What are you scary? If I was like in the dark and I see, like, something walk by. So if you're in the dark and then a shadow and the dark comes by, your shadow.

So a dark shadow in a dark room? Yeah, exactly. You think my shadow is so looming that it can, it can, no, because you're not, you're not, you're not getting, I'm not, I haven't given you a picture. Give me the purple picture. When I go to bed, right, I put a mini light on in the, in the, in the bathroom. Like a nightlight. Exactly. Why not? And then, um, so I can see shadows walking by. Why would you want that? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, but if I, your shadow walk by, I would know.

It would scare me. Yeah, big shadow. Yeah. But anyway, don't do it. That's my nickname, big shadow. Big shadows. That's the dog and I fell asleep on the couch last night and she fell asleep on my head. Did she lick your face? She, if I'm snuggled in the corner, she'll sleep in the corner with me,

“but sometimes because I'm fat, um, the cushion will, like lean into the couch. You know what I mean?”

It's like, it, like, it dips in. Yeah. And then so she will slide in and then she'll end up just flopping on my head. Any golf trips you go on, Daddy? That's what she says.

And that's how Daddy takes care of this family. Yeah. I like it. How many golf trips?

“I got to go. What else? What else do I have? It's the only thing I like.”

Bad rot, the way I've been doing. I don't want a bad rot. Dude, I don't want to be in that all. You're not a, you're not a bad rotter. Oh, she's taught me. You've become a bad rotter. She taught me bad rotting. I thought you're up in that. Now you got to babysit. You got to be up. You can't lay in bed all day. But when I'm not babysitting, I'd rather do nothing. Somewhere in the house, there's just, she's like,

a sleep somewhere. Do you eat in bed? No. No. You do. No, I don't. You nibble. Do I? No, I don't. Never.

Profuck you. Hmm. Yeah. Watch your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't. I'm not nasty. I've just started eating bed. Like fried chicken. Let me throw some stuff out and you see, you in bed. Go ahead. Would you eat fried chicken? In bed? Yeah. Kentucky fried chicken. Sure. Oh, an extra crisp. No, not Kentucky fried. Yeah. Pop eyes, yeah. No, but the skin will get on. We're the fried skin. No. When you're bed? No, because I, I made the, a makeshift bowl that goes on.

I tied around my neck. It's like a little bib. Okay. So it catches all. All right. Pizza. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. And I did get it hot with a cheese is dripping. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Three, three stacked pancakes. That's right. You're all the old. Blueberries. Can't do pancakes.

Because the stickiness of this. Yeah. Yeah. Now you're thinking, now you're not kidding. See? Chips.

No, crumbs. Two crumbly. Two crumbly from. Yeah. Yeah. How about this ramen? If you're in bed with me, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah. I'll bring it over to the night. I love those parties. And then um, okay. Well, those are, there's actually a really good idea for like a restaurant that you eat in bed. That'd be real nice. That you eat in bed. We serve you in a bed. Yeah. What was the name of the place that used to be on third treat? Where you ate in like those big comfy. It was, it was like a big,

it was like an Indian restaurant and you ate on the ground, but you ate in like these huge comfy. What's three does on? Some third. No, I don't know. Electrical loaders? Yes. Electrical. Is that right? Well, there was a used to be an electric loader in at Los Files. No, what was the one on third street? Oh, man dude. I used to love that you like literally laid on a big electronic. What are you doing?

Electrical karma. Electrical karma. That's always electric. Yeah. So what's got to be, yeah,

“Indians love to be. They have not got an electricity yet. That's why. Exactly. Okay. That's”

it. No. See, go to the room. Go to the big. What's your favorite thing in an Indian restaurant? Butter chicken. Butter chicken. Butter chicken, man. No. What do I like? I like curries. I like curdy. Curdy. Yalo. I like red curdy. Red curdy. I like curries. I like curries. I like curries. Cochore my like veggie. Cochore my love. I love veggie. What's the level of spicy? Medium. I can't do. They get too hot for medium, maybe. You like Indian? Yeah. Which one where do you go?

Albert. Yes. The first time we went to Rome, we went to the Colosseum, and you wait in these long lines outside. And there were Indian guys selling bottles of water. And I loved it because the way they, it was like a song to them. They'd go, "Water, water, water, water for your health. Water, water, water. Water, water. Water, water. And I had to buy from I was like the water guy's got me. There he is. Water, water, water. Yeah.

But they go up this long. By the way, they must make banks selling bottles of water. They sell for a euro. They probably buy, you know, a pack from 12 for a buck. They ancient Roman trade with India. Spices, they love that. Yeah. They kill it with the spice. They know what they're doing. Yeah. The whole spice trade was through India, right? If it weren't for them, you know,

“whites wouldn't have all the flavor. They had no. Why didn't you guys do flavor before?”

We were scared of it. Yeah. Now you love it. We're still scared of it. Yeah. What flavor did you discover during that trade? Not me, Cardamom. Cardamom. Yeah. What else did you get from their tarragon? Tarragon was a good one. Star Ennis. There Ennis is another one. Pepperica. Let's go basic though. Pepper and salt was huge. That really shook. Oh, garlic. Oh, garlic fucked you up. No, but garlic, I think that changed the world. No, but Italy, garlic already. They had a lot of

garlic. They used garlic on fucking any. Right. They garlic in their cereal. But in England and oh, you're, you're, I'm not British. I, you're Irish and Italian. Yeah, you're. But the Brit's, yeah, they, the British people just got hot sauce about a year and a half ago, I think. The right. Yeah. It was banned. They banned it. No hot sauce in Britain, please. When you say hot sauce. The rise of black pepper. Huge black gold, baby. Yeah.

Cinnamon part of the ginger ginger, big ones. I need to get back to cooking, man. I can't cook for shit. I keep trying to cook at the house and I ruined it twice. Oh, do you cook? I was trying to cook this like muscles, uh, pasta muscles. That's such a difficult thing to do at home.

muscles sounded really nice with the white wine. Bungo. I can do it. I can do it, um, follow me sauce, bowl and eggs. I can do already pre-made though. Yeah, you open a camp. That is not absolutely not. You homemade, you homemade? Yes, you homemade. I homemade that will give me the ingredients. Tomato sauce. Tomato sauce? No. Tomatoes. Tomatoes. Do you puree them? Do you heat them? Do you cook them? Yeah. Well, I take extract it. I extract the tomatoes. How? How? To precision.

And equipment. Use the precision maker? Yeah. So I've all the equipment. You have a tabletop precisioner? Yeah, that's pretty impressive. And liquidates the tomatoes into a liquidator as well. Exactly. So you have all these hot up the garlic. You cut up the garlic. You cut up for the garlic? I don't care what I say. No, it's just shocking. Yeah, I cut up the garlic. All right. Into thine thine thine. Yeah. That's something long.

Whoa. You ever call a business and get sent straight to a voicemail that's clearly from 2015 and just hang up. I ever have a... Well, you've reached exactly. Yeah, I don't like it either.

“Your customers don't like that either. And that's why at some point you just got to say,”

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“I think I'm having a stroke. I think something's wrong. Well, today's first day without Xanax.”

Do you smell toast right now? No. You're fine. Yeah. That smells similar. Why do people smell toast when they have a stroke? What a weird thing to smell? Because I really like toast. They could have made it something. It should have been something bad. What does this say? Phantom smells are linked to temporal lobe seizures every day. Scientists use then a typical stroke. So even when I make toast, I don't smell toast. That's a good thing. That says it's a pop culture myth smelling burnt toast.

It's an even real. Missing brain cells during a partial seizure, especially in temporal lobe-contrigger fall century. What's wrong? Smoke rubber toast. Why? Because I don't have a stroke. Speak, speak a different language real fast to me. He's fine. He's fine. Here's the bell-fast warning signs. Balance, unless a balance, I find face, arms, speech. Raise both your arms above your head. Oh no. Oh fuck dude, I got it. Can we be another one? So in moments of pointing to the sky

are in very indicative stroke. Speak, slurred, strange, hard to understand. Oh no. I'm in trouble. No, I hope you don't have one. That's dangerous. Well, I mean, if it happens, it happens. Well, no, that's not that I, we don't want that. I have to switch it up. You know, we'll get the views. Yeah, well, thanks, Fancy. Here's more about the views than your actual health. Yeah, the death of the soda would be big.

I was mad. You didn't come to dinner with me in swords and that bummed us out. Yeah, you know, we had a lovely dinner. Things have changed, guy. What's changed?

Okay, but we're both married and we both found time to go to dinner together and we invited you because we wanted a little the boys get together. When you say downtown in sushi, I get scared.

And I already know what he's going to get. Scalops. He didn't get scallops. Yeah, he always gets scallops.

Now, this place was actually fantastic, but it wasn't just sushi. It was, we got, um, uh, what's it called when it's on the, let me guess. The grill strips, you know, what is that called the grilled meats on the carbuto? Carabuto. Carabuto. And we got, uh, Yakamanago. Yeah. And it's always about it. It's always about it. Like, you know. Yeah, it's a Kappa Bara. Rara Bara. Yeah. I remember viata. I already, I already beyond it. So we talked about you.

We were mad that you didn't go. He didn't talk about it. I love that story. I know it's so, it's weird. It's weird to see you in love like this. I'm not in love, man. What does it mean? I love her. Slow burn. You say I love you. I do. Okay, you're in love. If you say I love you, yeah, I love you too, though. Am I in love with you? Yep. That's true. Yeah, that's everyone in the air.

“That's not an example of what they are. I mean, who in this room are you not in love with?”

Right. Yeah, I kind of like it, but sometimes I hate her. Well, she got to get back to,

why don't you put up a checklist of things she has to do during the day? You know, like a chores she won't do it, dude. And also, you know what a lot of it. But you got to, it's, it's rewards. Like a dog. Like if she does something right, you give her a reward. Well, she hasn't cleaned my room in a very long time. We'll let it off her reward right now. Four days. I know. So how about this? Can I say this? I want to say this. What?

Before you go out tonight, because you're going out, you better clean it. Where are you going tonight? Are you going out? O.C. Fair. The Orange County Fair. Yes. You get a drive-do Orange County for the fair? Yes. What's at the fair? This is games. It's like a carnival, right? Yeah. It's fun. Who are you going with? Hillary. Yeah. And then she only goes into to get recognized. What? You love getting recognized there.

Do you take pictures at the O.C. Fair with people when they come up to you? No. Yeah, you do. Does anybody, is no one's ever asked you for a photo? Oh, I want to go to the alien abduction, the air raid. Yeah. The big wheel. Do you go on these rides? No, I hate rides. Well, then what else is at the fair? Game. Well, I've started. Oh, there's animals.

“Yeah, animals. Food. Food. Food. Food. I never, you've, have you been to the O.C. Fair?”

I never know. I don't like fairs. I never been to the O.C. Fairs. Yeah.

Oh, there's a grand champion cow right there. Oh, yeah. 2017. We're still talking about that guy. Yeah. Mark it all the after we ate and we talked about them. No, he's delicious. Yeah. He was very delicious. When they win it, then you can bid for it. And we bid it for the 2017, right? Huge. And we got to what? I think, uh, $300. Maybe it's just about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 25. Give her 10. Yeah. Yeah. We bought it. We had a hell of a time.

Just kidding. So many teabones. So many teabones. Wait too many. Side hip. We ate some side hip. Yeah. You want to talk about a weird gig I had let you say. I was talking to Carlos on the phone. Good God. What was it? I did a private gig yesterday. Like a corp. Why do you do that? A corp. Yeah. Well, you don't do corp or a gig? No, I've never done it. Why not? Because it just too many rules. Well, this was no rules. I could do whatever I wanted.

There was nothing. It was just it was an interesting day. Tell me. I did it the Reagan library. How many people? Nine. Nine. How many people are there? Nine. Nine. No. Yeah. Yep. You just stand up in front of nine people. I brought Joey surround from the commissary. You know, Joey? Yeah. He's hilarious. The big guy. Yeah. He's like six, eight, nine. Yeah. I brought Joey. I was like, you got to come with me and do this gig and open it up because I can't

cold open to a room at the Reagan library to nine guys. Yeah. How much time do you do? He did 15. And then you went up. And it seemed like a, you know, eternity. Well, yeah, you know,

“beginning of Star Wars. That's what I felt like I was going to end. Yeah. Yeah. He did 15.”

And I had to do like 30 or 40. Tough, tough, tough, tough. Oh, I can't. I've done, I mean, I've done corp. Nine guys. Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah. So hard. No. So hard. That's a no for me. But we had a great time. Who went? Me and Joey surround. Did these guys go? No. Hell, no. He, he literally sent me the map of the Reagan library. And he's like, you're going to be parking next to an F 14. We parked my car under a fucking fighter jet. Wow. And we walked inside.

And Joey was like, I think I'm scared. Yeah. And I was like, this is, yeah. And then they brought us into a ballroom for which is the green room is massive. Yeah. And he's just a table with popcorn and a mountain valley water. Oh, my God. And then she's like, do you need anything else? I was like, no, just maybe maybe didn't know where the exits are. I was so freaked out, man. Doing these private gigs are so hard to do because you want you to go and be like, I'm going to have fun.

I'm going to make them laugh, but they're so hard. It's nine guys in a room. Yeah. And by the way, guess what time it was at? Oh, my God. Let me guess 2 p.m. 145. Oh, my God. That's even a more run out of nightmare. 145. Oh, wow. And I was like, and I asked I said, why in the middle of the day, because they what? They went to the Dodger game. Yeah. They need to take it out. They need to get to the Dodger game. Nobody was it. I'm not saying anything bad about them. Very nice guys. It's just,

You stand up in the dead middle of the day in a room with nine people and they're not prep. By the way,

“the woman putting it together goes, this is even funny. You're going to laugh. The woman put”

are you in a blue tube right now? It's checking even if it's gold. Yeah, it had to be gold. You're fine. The woman who put it together, the sweet woman that was there, Karen, who I love. She goes, and the best part is, they don't know. They're getting a comedy show today. I was like, that's not the best part. That's not the best part. No. I go, they don't know. They didn't know. I didn't. No one told me that. No, no. I didn't know till we were already there and then Joe.

So they're not fans. No! No! But they can go Andrew Santino and the extra top. That's that's true. Ask Joe, he's throwing a column right now. If you want me to. I'm going to call Joey. Ask him. Wow, Andrew. I literally set on stage. Joey can vouch. I said,

hey, how many guys know who I am? Not one hand was raised. Oh, it was incredible. I loved it.

It's wild. Boy, I had the laugh through it. What are you going to do? It was insane. What's it up, birthday present? No, it was like a boy's trip corporate gig for this guy. Don't have his

“number. Do you want me to call him? No. Okay. Yeah. It was insane. But I, we still had fun. That's why”

you bring someone that you like on the road. Yeah. I went on the road. I bought Jeremy Wildkins once. Two corporate things. Jeremiah Watkins. Yeah. And more as twin brother Jeremy. Whatever his name is. And then I know I'm off today. Your serene. We're calling you serene Branson from now on. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Tarris Tazent head of the pit. Let's go to the pit pit. So um. It's a very heavy burlatory. Jerry. Jerry Watkins, I brought on their own.

You big big dog, Jay Wat. Yeah, Jay Wat. And he bombed so hard. He bombed so hard. He, he'll even if I call him, you'll even pick up and talk about it. He bombed so hard. All you can hear in the distance is my hyena loud. That's all you can hear. Wait. Where were a corporate gig? In Vegas. Yeah. It was nightmare. And um, he was doing physical things. Yeah. You got to try it. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't work. What are you smoking on? What is that? It's like a verb. Sorry. I apologize. Um,

your back smoking cigarettes, too. I tell you I've been through a lot of anxiety in the last couple of weeks. I know, but I thought you were quitting the cigarettes for good. I know, but I was in such high anxiety that I'm like, there's no other way to do it, but then I get it. You got to get through with every need. I had to go through it. It was tough. That's fine. Yeah. Well, you're here on the other side. I went through a mental. Yeah. Go ahead. No drugs. I heard

you're doing drugs again. I'm not doing drugs. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. We weed. One's awesome. You had weed. Last year or January. Wow. Are you when you go out tonight to the fair? Are you drinking at the fair? I don't like to drink. Do your friends drink? Micro does. No. The new generation doesn't drink booze. Yeah. My kids don't do that. Yeah. They micro do they take a gummy. Right. You take a gummy? No. Wow. Yeah. I'm so how are you guys hiding your pain? Yeah. What are you doing

to mask all the problem? Yeah. I don't know. You got to discover it. So in your group of friends, nobody, nobody during spous, huh? They're some, but it's not like they need it for every time we hang out. Wow. Do you don't really drug addict friends? No. You got to get one. Yeah. They're some more exciting. Yeah. Then you can start a podcast with one one day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop. What? Oh, really good. Yeah. That's my favorite thing in the world. Stop. What? I'm a child of addiction.

We relate. Yeah. Yeah. 830 billion dollars in global market value over four year period leading to

2026 Bloomberg tracking. The global alcohol industry has lost that much. They've lost 830 billion. No, kids don't drink alcohol, dude. It's gone. And because of those health influencers online out being like, what are you getting out of drinking anyway? And people are like, all right. So I'm not going to be bleeding. Sardines and stuff. All day long. Sardines and beans. There's a shop on Melrose. Yeah. Like me. Shop on Melrose goes sardines and beans. No. It's pretty impressive, dude. It's,

it's actually, but then they say stuff like, look, look. It's a really a shop like called that. Sardines and beans on Melrose. Is that a real place? Of course not. Oh, no. I was going to go

“now. No, I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's built for you. But I think like with our generation, like, you know,”

I like to have a couple of soda pops. And I like it. But I do think, yeah, it's not great for you. People know it. But, but then the argument is, are you taking away from some social aspects of the world? But also less sex. So less sex less alcohol. Well, less alcohol. Good, less sex bad. Because alcohol with sex. People are having less sex. They are. More fun, more screen, so less. More screens less sex. I hear a lot of like going to clubs. What are you guys doing

to like feel free? Yeah. So music is dead. Art is dead. Sex is dead. Music is dead. Drugs are gone. Yeah. And alcohol is not existing. What the fuck are you guys doing? Use on your phone and bed all day. Yeah. We'll see. We're fucked. You are, too.

it. My phone? Yeah. Tik Tok. You love Tik Toking. On the toilet, I Tik Tok. Yeah, you talk to other

places. One of my talking. You're talking everywhere. Am I taking one, I'm talking? Yeah, you're taking talking everywhere. I love Tik Tok on the toilet. I'll admit it's my favorite thing in the world. We do it in bed as well. No. Can't do it in bed. Do you lie? We made a pact. We can't be on Tik Tok and bed. Oh, you and your wife. Well, we said no phones in bed. Because it's right here in the

“couch. That's why you're on the couch sleeping. That's why I'm on the couch sleeping. Yeah.”

Pull me in, Coach. Yeah. I'm on the couch. Yeah. It's sleeping. Now, I sleep on the couch because you're just scrolling. Because I'm lazy and I don't want to go up. I don't want to go up to the, I see you scroll so much. You're the master. What do you mean you see me scroll? Scroll a lot. I see in your car scroll. When I'm driving? Yeah. Nobody's better driving and scrolling than me. But you do it? No. I do it. You do it. I do it. Do I scroll so much on the, on the right? I put on

tunes. And I focus on the road. That's great. God bless America. I can't get off the talk when I'm in when I'm on the toilet though. I got a hemroid from it. I got a hemroid from the toilet too long. Do you still have it? Yeah. You want to see it? He's still there. I've seen him. He's still there. I told him he's got to go soon. I told him to see you're overstaying your welcome Mr. Hemroid. You got to get out of here. But I asked the doctor and he said,

"It's totally normal. You're spending too much time in the toilet." See, I don't push out. I think that's the white people's problem. I didn't push. No, no, no, no. You can get hemorrhage. I don't know any agents. I have it. Hemorrhage? Yeah. But I know a couple of whites I haven't. Yeah. I think you guys push out too much. I didn't push. It's from sitting too long. He said. You can get him from just sitting on the toilet too long. Boom. Five minute rule. Who just pops out? Because you're sitting

too long. Yeah. Because of the blood and the gravity from the sacs and your toast. Yeah. Sitting on the toilet can worsen your hemorrhage. Main risks include prolonged risks sitting at a toilet, desk hard services. How many hours are you on the toilet? Yeah. How many are you in there? 12, maybe. Max 11 to 12. That's remarkable. No. I'll sit on the toilet. Sometimes I will catch myself beyond the half an hour. Wow. Yeah. No. Five minutes. Wow. It's my escape time. Yeah. And the dog

comes the door and she sits and she watches me and I'll chat with her and I'll go, look at this and I'll show her TikTok and show her. Yeah. And then I'll go back to it. Yeah. I love when the animals watch you poop. It's my favorite thing in the world. Because they do it. I watch her poop. She watches me. I love that. I really like. I make her pick mine up though. Yeah. Go get up here and clean this up. He just opens the door. Yeah. You let him in. Yeah. No. You let him out. You don't look

after them. I'll see who's pooping and who's not. See, I have a little thing. You don't do it. What are you? I do. I have a little note. I got gone with the food. I'll do this. Taking notes. Yeah. Because I care. What's your rule now? Are you finally cleaning up your poop after being called out for years of not cleaning up poop in the neighborhood? No, she doesn't. So you don't take the dogs or a walk ever. They're in my backyard. No, that's happened as it happened 10 years. Because

that's the problem with the hills. You can't take a dog for the walk in the hills. You can't.

“No, when you have a backyard, you just let him out. It's not a walk. You have to take a dog for a”

fucking walk. And that throw balls at him. You've got to take them for a walk. I take them out sometimes

to hike. You don't go up the rails. Yeah. I've never seen that happen one time. Oh my god.

That one time I have a seat. You have nothing new to report. I'm so shocked. I haven't seen you in so long. You have nothing new to report. I have to buy new mugs because it's a boy with the-- That's not true. I bet let go. Let go. Let go. Let go. No. Let go of the dog. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah, I'm going to do it. Don't do it. Let go. Let go. Let go. Let go. One day at a time. You told me that don't like you got our washed the mugs really well because I pee at I pee in the middle of night.

You have a bathroom in your room. You have a bathroom in your room. You have a bathroom. I'll just replace all the mugs and he said no. Just keep the-- Why would you pee in a mug? Just go to the bathroom. It's right there. Sometimes the distance from when we're sitting to the bathrooms too long. Imagine when you go to sell this house. Sometimes. And they're like, it's a poo room downstairs. There's a piss room upstairs. And the piss mugs come with the home. Just so you know.

There is no pool. It's got coffee in it. I mean, who's going to buy that? You said too much on the show about your home. They'll be cleaning, huh? Deep cleaning. You're going to have to set it on fire.

“Okay. You have to burn the fucking thing to the ground. No. He did that in Coachella and I saw him.”

And he tried to say, no, I'd never pee on anything. Oh, yeah. Why? He denied it. Why are you

peeing in mugs? I need to know. These are the same mugs people drink out of it. Yeah, it's a territory. It's a territory thing. You're marking your territory in your home. It's your house. It's a territory thing. You own the territory. It doesn't matter. I think he's burning the boats. What? I'm in shock because I remember Jules talking about that and I was like, I have no shame. It's not about shame. It's it's hygiene. It's

move in. I think her not a good idea. How do you feel about it? I just hate it because I feel like every time I just use a mug, I can like, I feel like I can smell it. But you can't, that's the thing. But I, because I did do a clip. I'm telling you. You do a deep clip. You'll do a deep clip on him. You can't. You won't be able to snark him if you eat like this. Do I can't speak to the people? It's so weird. So weird. I do a deep clip. I need help. I need help. I need to go to the

“hospital. Yes. Yeah. Call it to go into. No, I got it. Honestly, I'm concerned. Yeah, I'm full of”

anxiety. This is day one with, you know, I know you're back. But yeah. But it's like, you know, when did your mom come back? Can she do some kind of like ritual spell on him to get him back to where

he needs to be? Shake some stuff at him. But he always feels better when mom is around.

She does have your mother has such an incredible energy. Your mom is so like, so I love your mom. I love laughter and I love joy. And I feel it with throughout the house, transcending through the walls. When she's there, in general, they passed memories. You know, I mean, the past laughs. These walls can talk. Yeah, they can talk, right? So I can hear the creeks and it tells me a story. Decreeks and cracks. Yeah, crevices and crew in the story involves a lot of trials and tribulations.

And how many trials? Three. How many trips? One. I've only been through one tribulation. But a lot of trials. Three. Yeah. And all in that house. So, um, everything tells a story and everything has to tell a story. Yeah. That's cutting board. You think about that coming board a lot? Like the cutting board tells a story? What does it say? Ginger. Garlic. No, sorry. I'm talking about me. I was like, uh, basil. Hmm. It all tells a story. But anyway, it's really

good to be here. And I'm glad we were able to recap on many issues. We're going to get you the hospital. I think we need to take it to the hospital. No, I feel great. Take off your glasses. Hey, look, fine. Do you want to see my new license? Do I?

“I think it's my best photo again. It's my best work. Do you just go retake your license photo?”

Yeah. Can you just send it in? No, you don't have to do it. I have to go and take the photo because I want to do the best face. Could you like being recognized at the DMV? Why don't you have an effort for? What do you have an assistant waiting for? Look at my new. Oh, it looks nice. Actually, it's a nice. Oh, that's funny doing like a cross sign. Do you look like me? Yeah. By the way, by the way, I got to show you.

I should have sent the picture. The Chicago Cubs sent me a jersey because I never want to fill

me to the all-star game because you know, remember the flights got canceled and they sent me my jersey. And it says Bobby mom on the back. That's amazing. That's incredible. I have my license back. No. Class, none. No, C. Class, C. Thank you. Sex, none. Hopefully. A lot recently. Eyes, brown, hairs, black, eyes, low. Thank you. Eyes, low. 5, 4, 1, 60. Exactly. You're 5, 3. Why do you lie? Give me my fucking license back.

Give me my license back. You lied again. You're holding it like an ice agent. I'm holding it. Look at that. Look at that holes. Where are you coming from? No, it. Okay, getting a fan. Wrong answer. Give my license back. Oh, it's right there. Fuck you. Serene.

I've never seen you so like serene Dion.

Am I the Asian saline? Yeah. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Serene Dion. I don't know any songs from her, but I'll try. Oh, I will always find you. I don't know any saline Dion songs. The Titanic. Yeah. I don't forget how it goes. My heart will go on to give me the tune and I'll sing it after. Yeah, she sings her name in it. Yeah. I don't know why she does that. Maybe to make people know it's her song.

“Sleep good last night. I had about two or three hours of sleep and that's what's coming. I slept so good. I know we do have”

polar opposite night sometimes. Isn't that funny though? Sometimes when I sleep bad, you slept for 40 hours. Sometimes I get night's carries and then you don't. You know what? I do in the middle of the night. Now I I have I put my hands behind my back like an old Asian guy and I shuffle to the bathroom. Yeah, I like the way it feels. Yeah, and sometimes I can just climb the side of my house. You climb this out of it. Yeah, yeah. I have a little rock dentures in there. You climb the roof. Yeah, you just sit up there and think. Yeah,

That's white people. That's where the best of that. You're the best at any of those extreme things. And I have them at that right now. Like the wing suit guys. You guys are great up that. It's probably one of our best things. How do balloons? Yeah. You know what we don't do anymore is movie night. It's just you and I. Monitor you do that. Well, he's busy with his girlfriend. No, she doesn't

like hate spending time with me. I do. But here we I showed my girlfriend on movie that she had never

“seen before. And then, you know, holds up, I think. Brave heart. Brave heart. Yeah, I've never seen it.”

And it's like I tell you what it's like. Willie Wallace. Willie Wallace. His name, the actor's willie. Yeah, willie Wallace. Who's he? He's playing Mel Gibson. Yeah. Willie Wallace. Oh, is that the Jiu Tetsk guy? Yeah. Oh, I love him. Yeah, he don't you love it when he does that. Yeah. And, um, such a good movie. It's just it really is a good movie. So good. Yeah. Although I got one for Scotland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for Scotland. I would have

Scottish people like that. You like that movie? Well, they're not, he's the number one guy

historical figure. He's Australian though, right? The actor is. Yeah. Isn't that weird? It's crazy.

Do you ever think about that that he's he doesn't seem like he's Australian? It's not. Jiu Tetsk. You have nothing new to report. What about your um, behavior with eggs? Your egg behavior. You're gone. We're working talking to a child. You're your behavior with eggs. Yeah, yeah. Eggs. Yes. Your egg behavior. What's egg behavior? You know, I'll tell you why. I had to get new eggs because of the expiration date. All right. So it's like you.

To me, I'll still eat it even. Yeah, but you don't eat eggs past the expiration date. Do you? They eat eggs with birds in them. I know. These people eat bird eggs with a lot with a just

recently dead bird. I'm going to eat expired. That's so kind of in my house, right? We abide by

expiration dates. But there's still good. It doesn't matter. This is August diarrhea. What? I eat the expired eggs. Yeah. In fact, when you get home tonight, you're making me four baked potato. I'm not picking it. You're going to boil eggs. Bake potato. You got to go to the hospital, man. Let's so far away from boiled eggs. Bake potato. It's not with the beef. It just starts with the beef. Unbelievable. Yeah. If stored below 40 degrees egg, you can, you can have eggs for so long.

The expiration dates bullshit. I read the expiration date. I don't get a fuck what you guys say. I'm not going to get some. What does it say? Three to five weeks past that date. They're still good.

“A month past the expiration date. So that's what you do. Yes, dude. Yes. It's bullshit. All right.”

I want four eggs at home. Boy old free. When there's mold on the bread, I just cut the mold off and still eat it and say no. If a banana is bruised at all, I can't eat it. What? Yeah. It's been beat up. I can't do it. Let's see. Well, my stomach. Call my stomach a pussy. Pussy. Yeah. We have to, you got to let bananas go bad for banana bread. Yeah, I don't, I don't make that. Do you like banana bread? Dude, you know what? I think I like banana bread more than most people on earth. I have to

say that. Most people. Yeah. Dude, every time I'm in Hawaii or in my way or whatever, right? And I walk and I do the road to Hanna and there's that one lady that's a little too inconvenient way to my right to pull over but I pull over anyway. To get her banana bread. Yeah, exactly. My wife makes banana bread. I'm going to bring you someone's fucking fucking happy. It can't be good. Oh, it can't be good. I just said that guy. Why? Because she's white. They don't know how to make it. Banana bread was definitely our thing. No,

it's not. Banana bread is is definitely a nylon or thing. No, it's fucking too intricate and full of flavor and moistness and buttery. Who started banana bread? It's got to be the fucking whites. It can't be. It better be. I'll tell you that. I'm changing Wikipedia. Oh, it's not. Banana bread was what? Not invented by a single person in the American, the late 19th and early 20th centuries is a resourceful kitchen creation. North America. Not do I invented it. Early mention of an

adabred in Lawrence, Kansas newspaper. Kansas. There is no black people in Kansas. I just trust it more when it comes to island because they're more associated with the banana. No, they're not. They're associated with selling the banana to the white. The banana right is an island tree.

“Not. Banana. Banana is. It's a white person. Yeah, and pineapple. Here's the thing. Because this”

is where the bananas come from in the islands. Yeah. They get rid of the ones that bruise like you do, but the whites took it on and we said, we'll take the bruises and we'll make something out of it. Okay. When life gives you bruise bananas, you make stick with strawberry. Shortkicks. Don't tell me how to pay. Yeah, stick with strawberries, shortkicks and we'll take the banana

pastry. No, thank you. Asian pastry is the best in the market. No, it's not. You're up first.

“Yeah, that's your thing. No, yeah. French and the whites do pastries the best. Not now, though.”

We took over the game. No, you fucking did. Don't agree it down. We took over the game, dude. No, I don't want

a kimchi fucking donut. Do I have to really kimchi scone? Sounds good. Yeah, in Hawaii, right, at

“what's it called? You got to come up with? Mochalalo. If you go to Mochalalo, is that a kimchi scone?”

Yeah, kimchi scones are so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave it to the French.

Now leave it to the French. Because what Asians do is like, we'll go to John in it. I don't want

“to go to John in a fucking muffin. That's insane. Okay. Leave it to the French. That's why you're”

haven't grown. You're tasting it. You piss and mugs in your house. I haven't grown. You pee inside of coffee mugs in your home. Yeah, and you need to open up your fucking table here and open it up. I'm closing the table, pal. Yeah. No one is invited to table now. It's over. No, just say. When an adult urinating mugs, bottles are an unconventional container is a point to break down in typical behavior psychological and neurological functioning. They may be in a podcast

stumble dementia. They're words dementia delirium. It's even worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I loved delirium. You are delirium. I've been in delirium states before. I've do I've been delirium. All right, we'll close it out, jewels. Look at the camera. Thank you for being a bad friend.