Bad Friends
Bad Friends

Privileged Bottom

1h ago1:20:4015,721 words
0:000:00

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Bluechew, Avocado Green Mattress, Rocket Money, Kachava, Shopify & Quince • Bluechew: Right no...

Transcript

EN

Hey, bad friends.

You got to go. You got to go. Please, I want to see the best comic in the world. You got to see me, baby. I'm at the Maristar Casino, September 7th there in St. Charles/ St. Louis, Missouri. That's my last show of the year. So come out and see me go to Androsanthino.com for those tickets. That's Androsanthino.com St. Louis, St. Charles, Missouri.

Hey, guys, we have new merch. I love these shirts. These are my favorite ones. Look at how great this shirt is right now. This incredible amazing, bad friends artist made this for us.

And we want you guys all to be wearing it on your person right now. You can buy these shirts right now and redder black at badfriendsmerch.com. That's badfriendsmerch.com. Go get the shirts. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. - Oh, something. - Oh, bad friends. - Christine.

- Oh, don't, don't, don't, don't. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

to? Yeah. Phantom is black. Is it really? Yeah. And he has a white, a half-white face? Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. White face. I like that. That's the Phantom is black. I want the black. Okay. Yeah, yeah. What? Sure, man. I want my Phantom's black. Me too. All right. And my Grim Reaper. Reaper. Phantom was fantastic. Wow. So it makes sense. Is it opera? Oh yeah. Okay. It's called Phantom of the eye. I understand that, but there could be not.

Christine. Oh, come to my lair. I love it. That's what you are.

Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Because I will not go. Yeah. Yeah. You would never go. Yeah. I went to the

Lion King one time. Is it the same? Same. It's just a play. Yeah. It's still an opera. What you say? They're singing though. It's a musical. Oh, it's a musical. What's the difference between musical and an opera? Fancy knows you went to school for this. Yeah. For real? Yeah, for real. Yeah. He wants to know. Music is a mother and opera is our generally sung-through classical performances utilizing non-amplified

operatic voices. Sure. You have to sing like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But if I sing like this, this is a musical. Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. I see. Come on. I understand now. Kind of bummed he got his eyes done. Now he can see everything that's on that screen. He said

not be able to read it. Not but now he can see everything. I can read it. It was incredible.

The whole cast did a great job. It was really cool. Did you go backstage? No. I sat in the...

I don't know. I thought, you know. I don't know. That's why you don't go.

No. You went to the wedding. How was it? You said there be IP. Oh, it was the wedding. I didn't go. Yeah, you did. I know you went. It was fire. Yeah. I saw the photos. It didn't go. Yeah. How was the wedding? I threw up on Taylor Swift's dress. Yeah. Everywhere. Was it star-studded? Yeah. Yeah. No, dude. It was just cousins. It was all. It was a thousand cousins. It was a thousand cousins. I see. So are you... Christine?

When you're in that situation, are you nervous or are you having fun? I haven't a blast. They're just certain people that aren't allowed to go. Certain people aren't allowed to go. Or are not friends in that. You know, that's fine. I'm not, you know. If like, there's certain weddings I would probably invite it to. Who's? Like, you know, Joel that drummer from the comedy was a door, man. Joel, him, NS. Yeah, Joel, you would. Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, but I don't

think huge, you know. I think that maybe I would get invited to certain... McCones? I know. But

that's the level of... I can't think of anyone in the level. I'm not get to McCones. I don't think so. You know what I realized today when I was swimming? That if I was thrown over board in the middle of the ocean, like those on a cruise or whatever, I would survive for six minutes. Because I tried to test it. I timed it. And waiting in a pool for six minutes, that's my limit. I would have drowned. Six minutes is pretty good. Yeah. Without any, like, platform or something

to hold on to. Every time for the Coast Guard to come get you, it's like an hour. Yeah, what's the

Average time?

I would die. See, he says, "Hyperthermia depending on where you fall in." You fall in down on the Bahamas. You're in me, I'm listening to me. My pole is heated. Okay. There are no waves. Yeah. There are no sharks. Yeah, probably. Orcas. I timed it. Six fucking minutes, I'd be dead. We should stuff, we should put sharks and stuff in your pool and make a wave machine in there to

see how long we could last. Yeah. Well, without the sharks first. No, put the shark. Okay.

Put the sharks. Okay. Put the ones that don't budge. Two minutes. The ones that just tickle you. Like a tiger. Yeah, tiger shark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 50 to 60 degrees. You could last one to two hours. Wow. In 50 degrees. You'd have to have something to float on like jacked and rose like a door. We'd let's rip a door off in your house and put it in the pool and reenact Titanic. Oh, I could jack it. I can rose it. Oh, hey. Yeah, yeah. You can rose it. Yeah, I'll jack it.

They're they're going to come soon. Yeah. Yeah, goodbye. I can I be honest with that is they could have both fit on that door. Not only that. I would have jacked it. You would have killed yourself. No, I would have been like pushed her off and then got on the state on. That's reverse jack. Yeah. I would have reversed the jack.

What's the other guy's name that's not kind of the the family the women and children vote? That guy.

Her ex husband. Hmm. He's the guy. He's fiance. He's fiance. All right. He's snuck on the women and children vote. Yeah, who plays that? Billy Zane. You do. Yeah. That's all. I would do the Billy Zane. Hey, yeah. You would have gotten on with it. Well, it's small. Yeah, you're like a little bit. Yeah, they would see that I was women children and Asians. Yeah, I had no. Yeah. Is that an Asian woman? Yeah. I have no red heads just jump in and die. Yep. Speaking of death, I think Mitch McConnell

still alive. Yep. Is he? He doesn't know he's alive though. He's talking about that. Yeah, I don't think he's alive, but yeah, I'm he I think he's brained it by things to live. Hey, go to the first go to images. Yeah. How bad is his PR team that they're not trying to get rid of these pictures?

Just get rid of that. Just be like, don't publish it. Don't publish that. That's what he looks like.

I know, so cut it out. Yeah. You know, sometimes you can Google someone and only show his photos of them when they were like 40. Yeah. If you don't, I mean, it's like this guy they're letting them put every get it on there. I mean, is it me? Is he not hot? I don't think he is, brother. All right, good. I just don't. I don't want to shame the guy. I just don't think that like I don't know what is he hot? Not even when he was young. Yeah. As a young guy, he was on hot. No, didn't work.

Never had like a so he always was in an awkward face. Yeah. He was like, oh, god, out of it. Yeah.

And then he also marched with Martin Luther King. Did he? I don't know. You're not using him. Did he? I think it was Jason is that true or no? Yeah, there he is. Where is he? And there's his wife right there next. Back guy. Which one is? That is not Martin Luther King. That's just a black guy. Yeah. You think that's MLK? No, I heard that it's not TikTok. That is not L. Bro, someone on TikTok was like,

that's MLK. That's just a black guy. He attended his march and he went to the march. That doesn't mean he marched. Yeah, attended. Wait, he attended it. That's dope. But there was like a big gathering. He probably showed up to the gathering to be like, how can we get this guy? I'm trying to get him.

Oh, I see. Clotting and planning. I thought he changed through time. I think people do that. I doubt it.

Yeah. Like black people. And then as they get money and, you know, power and stuff. I don't walk on anymore. For some reason. It's a so-called such. How old are you? 90s. What? He's 84. No. He's 90 by now. No, he's 84. Michigan should not be able to load. And also Barry Manolo. It's like, it's like, it's over. And it's what you had your time. You had your time. Yeah. It's like, why don't you want to just land a beach?

Have you seen their mouth? The mouths don't move. It's the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. That they've got him like, propped up. And it's like his teeth are done. I'm like, this has been true. I think Jeff Dunham is is doing Barry Manolo now. Yeah. You know the best white song is. Give me the best white song. The the best song you has ever written and Christopher Cross-Sailing. See. It's like the best white. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that photo of him. I know.

Nothing else. They didn't have any other pictures. Here's why I like it. You can imagine yourself right being the black eye on a boat with three other white eyes. Well, right. You sail in. You are

sailing and rolling, right? Yeah. And then when the boat comes back, right? How are you on the boat?

Because you wanted to be on the boat? Yeah. I want to be on the boat. The mine orders are gone. You know? Oh, you're a black eye on the boat with all white guys. Yeah. Yeah. Just like what happened. Just I was trying to do a reference of that black eye. We got it. We got it. I don't think you did. I got it. I don't think it's a good joke. It's a great show. I don't know why I said that. I apologize.

It's fine.

Yeah. I don't think bars. I'm concerned. Yeah. I like the color of that be any by the way. Thank you.

I tell you what. I think retirement is key. Yeah. You hear people's talk about retirement.

Oh, you're not going to like it. It's a repetition. There's no goal in life. That's when you start dying. Sounds great. It sounds great to me. I want to represent it. Yeah. Let's get out of here. Just being on a beach all day. Like drinking sweet drinks. You're going to be in Hawaii 100%. Yeah. On a private little beach. Not private amongst everybody. Okay. He needs recognition. Yeah. No. I honestly believe that. Is that Bobby Lee? All day. That sign that says it's me, Bobby Lee.

There's no way. There's no way. So, um, a small little place here. I mean, I want to grow farm. Grow farm. Yeah. I'm going to farm. I'm going to farm. Melons. What do you want to think? Melons. What did you farm? Whatever they have. Like hurricane, you know. Well, they pineapple these you dole was there for pineapple things that in that environment you can grow something through. I want to learn how to grow. I like that. Yeah. I want to learn. I want to have like a big yard for like cats and dogs and stuff. I love that.

And just like, you know, lay on a beach. Now, would you ever split a farm with me or no? Yeah. What?

Cannabis tobacco, cocoa, kava and nut palm. These are drugs you can farm. Okay. Probably Kava. Hope you're. It's maybe. I love Kava. Why are you doing that? Yeah. We don't. We're not going to do it. He's going to farm legal substances. He can distribute it. No, he can relapse once he retired.

Okay. What? Yeah. What? Carlos. First of all, you know, the idea of the process of from

cocoa to cocaine. Oh, you would, it's so higher people for that. As someone that has hired a few people to do that, it is still very hard to do. Yeah. Maybe I can gentrify cocaine like they're doing with sardines. Oh, you can get the leaves in those feelings. Yeah. Like the plants. And you know too much. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a little nervous. I think if you gentrify old school drugs, that's my thing. That's cool. Because they're doing like, you know, with fish wife. You know what fish wife is?

No, is it a new restaurant? No, no, it's a sardine. So back back in the day, right? Teach me, baby. I'll tell you. Right. Thousands of years of people like poor people would eat sardines in cans. I like it. But it's super good for you. Yeah. It's really good protein. And she, you know, kind of gentrified it and made it like cool. It's like what they do with lobster. Yes, exactly. Serve it to prisoner. Right. So she's that fish white smoke Atlantic salmon is so good. It's just a brand of fish. It's a brand of fish

in the tin in the can. Oh, got it. Right. So why don't we do it with opium? Okay. I think you're right.

Yeah. I won't do it because I'm sober, but that's like, you know, hey, right here. I'll do it. Yeah. I'll do it. What would we call it? Smokas of men. Summer school. Summer school. Yeah. Oh, summer school is fantastic. That's a fantastic. It's all everyone in the room had to take it. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a summer school. Yeah. It's phenomenal. Damn. Dude, we got to be credit for that. That's not. Yeah.

Bobby, what should we call it? Summer spring. Okay. No, I'm sorry. Lake Lake Lake Lake boat. No, Lake Elson. Lake Elson or Lake Elson or. That's a cool. Lake sale. No. Say a lake. Say a lake. No. Say a little way lake. Say a little way lake. How about, how about um white lady? Co. Boy lady's two little that call it on the streets. Yeah. Yeah. White sale. Yeah. White coast. They are usually. Yeah. Yeah. Except for fanom this weekend.

Anyway, we'll fuck up. We'll get more of the team. But I got a new family for you to hate in the farming world. I had this discussion with my in laws at the house about farming in Central California. The rest of the family. Do you know these people? The wonderful, the wonderful, you know, pump, you know, they own all of the water, like literally all of our water. Yeah. Check this out. Half of the world's nuts come from this family right here. And these people look up the

click on his Wikipedia. Majority taking the current water bank when a California's largest

underground water storage facilities, cable of storing 500 billion gallons. Okay. Check this out.

Every single year, they use 120 billion gallons of water. Two thirds on nuts. This is enough to supply San Francisco's entire population with water for a decade. That's insane. Kill these. We don't need not know what we got to do. We don't need nuts. We got to do we need pistachios. I mean, I like walnuts. That I think this is our stashers and almonds. But they're using the water for to sell to sell water, right? They're using the water to make almonds and pistachios.

It takes a ton of water to make them. Oh, I didn't know anything. I don't need pistachios or almonds anymore. Give it a go. Yeah. Yeah. It used the same water that, uh, fracking waste water. Right. They got criticized for that. Oh, really. We should capitalize on air. How do we bottle air? We got a bottle air, I think. I think you can do that from concerts. You can get like a tailor-swift air bottle. Well, you, hey, well, you buy the website bad friends air and we'll start

redistributing air. What we need to do is take the air out of the world and then like sell it

Back to the world.

a trip to air away. We could sell it from the bad friend studio like Bobby Lee breed this air or air um buildings. No, dude. He wants to own baseball. I want to air all I want to own the air. Bobby wants to own the atmosphere. Yeah. Yeah. So we, we gobble up all the air, right? Take the air out of the side in the world. Yeah. Right. And go, oh, you want to breathe? Hey, rain for us. You want to breathe? They're like, we have trees, but it's like we got to take them away. No, no, no, they create oxygen.

Yeah, but I'm high velocity fan. Okay. How about this? Okay. Why don't we just start on and gravity? Let's go a two week on the earth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're out of here. Yeah. I already here. Come down to earth, pal. Yeah. That'll be all right. Well, let's get the double down. Once we get gravity, let's own black holes. Okay. Yeah. We'll get it all. Yeah. We'll get it all. And bending space in time. Carlos heard black holes and piped up real quick. Yeah. But once you get the air,

something called the Bernelli effect happens when all the air you get like you're immersed by it.

So you're, yeah, of course you're immersed by it because you're alive. You need to give it to it

a five feet of space. Well, Bernelli will be the the the the the brand brand of our air. Yeah, you can barely brand. Yeah. See all the gaps obviously. Because imagine we hire him to seal the gaps.

None of them are sealed. Yeah. We lose all of our air the first day. It's a crazy to think that like,

you know, everything is monetized. Yeah. Even simple things like water and well, people have owned the water and food. Oh, I know. So long. It's like, I know a lot of these water companies. You don't realize only that good for you. Oh, you mean with micro plastics and and and and such. They just caught that fancy olive oil company. The one in the where you squeeze it's the little tiny droplet that comes at the sell mad fancy places. It has forever chemicals all in it. Olive oil company.

They just got caught with forever chemicals. That's why I buy pretty high end olive oil. I make my own you evolve trees. Yeah. Yes. I do. And I see one three and I. Oh, you hand. I hand you and squeeze a hand. I just I do all the milk. You do. Yeah. You all men's and I squeeze them as hard as I can. Peep fast baby. Yeah. Yeah. We got them in all of our blood. They got sued two hours ago by the New York Attorney General. Oh, really. It just happened. Yeah. Wow. Nice. I put a hair kit.

What? Yeah. What are you talking about? Like Alan Tiktok. It was like, you know, I mean, we send us your hair and we'll tell you what's in your body. Stop sending people your stuff. Why? DNA. We

don't want to send your DNA. No, it's a credible company. You know, you should do send your dogs

hair. Oh, I see. And they're like, Bobby. This is a huge problem. This is a problem. Pick all you. They're like, Sir, can we have a conversation? Yeah. Are you have, are you primitive? You're like, I mean, I do feel I'm awake all night. I do yell at the moon in the middle of the night.

Yeah. There's a going to be that new movie coming. I'm excited. What? Because there's never

really been where wolf. Oh, a where wolf movie. Yeah. Teen wolf dog. No, one of my favorite Eggers. Scary one. Oh, oh, a scare. Oh, a horror. They didn't know Staroff through that. He didn't know Staroff do he's doing this. He's doing well. Staroff do. Let him say it the way he wants to say it. Yeah. You're fucking Spanish. You Spanish. God. Yeah. Well, wolf and it spelled like fancy would say it. What wolf. Exactly. Because look at that. If that's not a world is not the liver king.

That guy. Wow. The word wood. When does this come out next year? Probably the end of this year. You see, watch the check out the trailer. It's pretty good. There's some good movies coming out, man. Who's in it? Zoom in. Well, him to fall. He's always in a robot. He was in a light house. He was in No Staroff do. Wait. Is that right? Aaron Taylor Johnson, Lily Rose Depp. Yeah. Ralph innocent Simon. So they gave. Yeah. Cool. Lily Rose Depp. Well, she was in No Staroff.

Why am I saying it wrong? Yes. What is it? How do you spell it? No. Fair. Right. No. Fair. You say it. However you want to say it. No. I don't want to say it correctly. No. Farato. No. Farato. No. Farato. No. Farato. Now, Lily Rose Depp. She was also in Johnny Depp's balls at one point. Yeah. But she was okay. Let me say something. If you watch no

Farato, right? She's amazing in that. You would be. Yeah. You would be if you're step mom pooped in

your bed. You have to have some kind of. Yeah. You have to have some kind of depth. Some trauma.

Yeah, some traumatic depth to be a good actor. Yeah. Who's here? Uh-oh, uh-oh. What are you doing? Are you a crypt now? Are you a crypt? He's a crypt from Compton. Like magic in the house. Bluetooth. I'm almost 55 years old. I have a girlfriend. And I have to admit, I have to use sometimes Bluetooth. That's not something should be afraid to admit. Many, many, many, many, many millions of men need to do this in

Bluetooth.

that can bind four ingredients into one powerful solution. Two ingredients are going to get

your heart physically boom boom and two support arouse a woo woo. It makes you desire it. It desires it in your brain in your brain. And it's time to make your bedroom noisy again. Nothing says hello neighbors like a bedpost knocking. That's the drywall at 2 a.m. That's your bedpost. That's Bobby's bed. That's my pacota. Yeah. I'm a big head. I'm Korean. And I'm telling you there's a reason Bluetooth number one brand for better sex

experience of yourself at bluetooth.com. It's so good. Bobby is using it and he calls me right after and goes, let me tell you something, dude. I'm juiced up, bricked up to the ceiling. And we got a special deal for our listeners right now when you buy two months of Bluetooth

gold, you get the third free with promo code, bad friends. That's promo code, bad friends. You're

also going to receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order.

Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We're going to thank

Bluetooth once again for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom avocado green mattresses. I'm so excited to tell you our sponsor avocado green mattresses because so good. You know why wouldn't you use, why would you use any other matches when the avocado is the best one? It is kind of remarkable when I switched because avocado was nice enough to send us a mattress. You can feel it immediately, the quality, the quality that they put into this is so nice. They're designed to provide comfort

and proper support because you know old Andy's got a bad back over here. And they help my backstay aligned while still feeling cozy. So you don't get that super soft without any support. They've got em both. It's made, not manufactured. Avocado focuses on thoughtful craftsmanship creating products that feel intentionally made rather than mass produced. So you can feel good when you buy. Well, here's the best part. Sustainable choices that you can make with natural

certified organic materials were responsibly sourced and built to last, which means less waste over time. Because a lot of times what do you do? You throw out a mattress that's goes in the junkyard of piles. I'll probably sit for hundreds of years. No, they've taken care of that. Avocado products are made, not manufactured. Thoughtfully crafted, real materials to deliver lasting, comfort and support. You can experience them in person at Avocado Showroom or Premiere Retailer

near you or shop online at AvocadoGreenMatchress.com/Bad Friends to check out their mattress and their furniture sale. That's AvocadoGreenMatchress.com/Bad Friends. AvocadoGreenMatchress.com/Bad Friends. Rocket Money. I'll tell you this. The best gift you ever give me is Rocket Money because I've

saved so much money on my subscriptions on my gadgets and so funny how you had. I think this guy

had 12 things you didn't even use. I was bleeding money guys. It's so stupid and they're saving people so much money. I don't even know why you don't want automatic savings. You download these apps. You pay for a subscription. You forgot you did it and Rocket Money is going to save you money. They're going to save you over $70 on average within the first 30 days. They've saved

users over $880 million in cancelled subscription. That's insane dad. The app consolidates everything,

checking savings loans and investments into a single dashboard. You can look at everything in front of your face. It gives you a clear view of your financial picture and it automates savings by the way so you can grow with adjustable amounts of frequency. You can set it and forget it approach, which is awesome. If you're saving for something big, take the money back from all the unwanted unused nonsense on your phone. Save it for that rainy day for the thing you really want.

Well, the app consolidates checking savings loans and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. That's exactly right. Rocket Money's a personal finance app that helps to find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join it. Rocket Money.com/badfriend. That's Rocket Money.com/badfriends.

How are you doing, Black? Magic. You're looking good. You look good. Ladies and gentlemen, Black magic is back on the show. Good to see you, baby boy. So I've been getting into the alien thing a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah. I don't understand it. So the higher glyphics in ancient times, in the cave drawings, they show alien heads and alien things.

So do you think the Egyptians and these kind of people witnessed and met aliens?

100%. You do. Yeah. What are they? What are they saying? Aren't they the aliens? Not a good guy. See, I think they were the aliens. When we said the aliens built the pyramids, that's who was there. I mean, because look at the songs and things and just the sirens behind them, we can't figure it off. They keep, I can't figure it off. I can't figure it off. I've seen all these videos where they try to emulate how to do that doesn't work. Exactly pointing to true north.

That's true. No. Why are you laughing, dude? That's not true. It's just a Bobby gun. Such a TikTok ring. Yeah. It's pointing to true north. It is. True north,

West, Kanye's child.

that we were, it was trying to talk about how we're in the age of Pisces, but we're about to be

in the age of Aquarius. Oh, well, we should was Sagittarius. Yeah. And in a half or gift 150 years, the age of Aquarius is going to happen. What the fuck is that? You're supposed to

know that's why I'm bringing it up, dude. I feel like black people always know that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But the, what? Age of Aquarius. The fifth dimension. My aunt was happy to introduce. I know. Yeah. See, that's not the reason why I'm so into this. Yeah. He's teaching me this shape when I was young. And I'm, I'm still fucked up. I don't, I don't do it. Yeah, I don't either. That's what I'm asking. What is it? Are we in the age of Aquarius? In a home for the years? And then what happens? And the Egyptians have seemed to hit at it. Right? And they have

all these like weird like higher growth glyphic, I can't say it. Hi, is it? Hyro glyphic? Hyro glyphics.

The Egyptians of Aquarius is an astrological era characterized by shift towards collective consciousness humanitarism, innovation, and interconnectedness sounds good. The astrologers calculate its arrival based on the position of the Equinox is roughly 26,000 years cycle, while the exact start date remains heavily debated. Many believe we are transitioning into this new dawn right now. That's insane. We're in the age of Aquarius now. Well, we've been in the

in conjunction with AI and all these other things that are happening in CERN, you know, that machine that they shut down and what was it switched from another one. Where is it?

But they just shut it down just for maintenance. For for, but that's what they told. That's what

they told you. They told you for maintenance. But you know, it's really, you're not, you don't do work at CERN. Black holes in the midges. These are not fun. Yeah. You probably didn't even know what the shit came in. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. They had no idea. Do you know much about CERN or no? Yeah. I don't know. Not a whole lot, but I don't know. Tell us about it. Look, it's CERN. CERN is just particle accelerator. It's just them colliding particles. What's that statue

about? What's that? In the front of, that's right in front of the CERN. Yeah. Explain that. That's the, that the alley Wong was a part of it. What's going on here? Who is that? You're in Goddess? I don't know. Which one? Which one? Under thousands. Yeah. It's like, I forget, man, I'm shit. I won't be. Sheva. When it comes in, is it sheva? Is it sheva? Is it sheva? Is it sheva? Is it sheva? Is it that sheva?

Is it that sheva? But why is it in front of the CERN building? Why is the sheva statue in front of the CERN building is what we need to know. This is the kind of stuff that our fans really need. I figured it out. I don't know. I'm being talking about something. Oh, no. I'm being talking about something. Oh, this is something. I think you're being disrespectful. I'm more of her. Excuse me. Sheva statue stands out. I'm the one that guest it was sheva.

Sands outside of the CERN building is a symbolic gift from the Indian government to celebrate its longstanding scientific partnership with the laboratory. Thanks back to the 1960s. Wow. I can understand it. I'm more of a Christianer guy myself. Oh, you like Christian?

Yeah, I'm a Christianer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like more than one arms. That's what I support.

But our Christianer is the most like described God in the Hindu in the Hindu. What do you mean? Described. He's like, if you go go what God is the most most described God in the and the the haters, the better. Oh, let me describe a God and you guess what it is. Okay. All right. He's wearing robes. He's got a beard. Long hair. White God. Who is this? Who is it? He's got a robe beard. Yeah. Two fishes in that basket sounds like my guy.

There's a snake. What's going on? Oh, that's Jesus. Okay. All right. He's fat. Asian. Right. Good. Happy. Exactly. So I mean, I'm more of a Sean D guy. That's why. Who's a who's Sean D? Who's on D? He is their original. Describe it. What's your name? Describe it. She has my cousin. Yeah.

Don't have a second cousin. She's the original Chinese god. That's the supreme god. Can you just

describe it without looking at the photos? Change the name of Tia. Huh? You describe it without looking at the fog. Tungi. Uh, fucking like, uh, like the sun. Look it up. Light. Uh, cause me. I don't know how to fucking describe me. He's just like Gargoy. God in Jesus, the God of Jesus. He's a hard to describe. Beautiful. He looks like him. Me. Yes. Yeah. That's Sean D. Yeah. That's Sean D. Yeah. Chinese, though. No. That's what you mean with a beard. Imagine we with a beard. Good. Go to all real fast.

Is that impregnant, go on. Whatever. Let me zoom in on Sean. Supreme deity and ancient Chinese theology dating back to the Sheng and Zoo Dynasties. Initially viewed as the ultimate ancestor of the Shengro family. He controlled victory harvest weather. Hey, weather. He's like storm. Someone else took that over years later. Yeah. Later Protestant missionaries famously adopted the term to transit the concept of the Abrahamic

god into Chinese. Hmm. So he was the original from the Sheng dynasty. Right. So he was before way before Buddha. Oh, yeah. He's the original. Not only that, but he's also is Tian of the same god too.

They're one and the same.

from the North, but what city? San Thiago de Compostela. Oh, San Thiago de Compostela.

I was going to go visit. Yeah. And then everyone told me not to. Right. And I was in Spain. They were like too many bells. Don't go. Are there bells there? All in the race. It's all bells. The whole place is made of bells. A little tiny bells. Is yaming clot? He lived close to where you were. Yaming is Chinese. Yeah. The basketball player on the mean. Yaming Lamar. There you are. It's super talented. That can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's your all-time? Who's your all-time of what?

on Ray, on Ray, on Ray, on Ray, on Ray, I think is my Burcamp, yeah, yeah, yeah, if legend Dennis Burcamp, yeah I can't I Yeah, you It's like edging

Suckers like an edge the whole I'm an edge her aren't you an edge her what is that it looks to get close to coming

But you never not yet. Yeah, that's what

Sucker is painful to watch The only time that ever happened is like when your mom walk in when you beat off. No, right. Oh, I don't know that Finish it I don't know I don't know about you know you didn't hear anything you got some privacy and she's like Hey, you won't pay a case like

You've done that how many times does that it happens okay? You do got the pancakes afterwards. Was that traumatic? Yeah, yeah, it's pretty traumatic. Mom, she just You know, she just pretend like it don't happen. She just say okay She's

How old were you went without was I about 28

Oh boy, I hope you grow up a little bit doc. I saw what was going on in there

But she didn't want who gave me the the sex ad book instead of just sitting down sitting me down and talking to me

Yeah, it's like a page in there is like photographs in it on a toilet and he's like this and it's like it's okay To masturbate and I was like really and there began my point at the pastor view Wow So what did your mom go I sit down talk I want to talk to you about to give him a book You gave me the book, Bob. Oh, okay book on your desk. Can you read it? And I was like all right and what in the book

It had masturbation at those a chapter. Yeah. Yeah. I discovered it on my own. How about you? You didn't need a book. I didn't need a book. No, it got hard. I'm like you discovered it differently than everybody Oh, wow, yeah, for sure for sure. Okay, when I was molested I wasn't hard Oh, I didn't say you I didn't even talk I wouldn't even talk in about

He's talking about the spirits of the joy. Yeah, wait a minute. What's their joy? Just ask

Interesting my dad kind of said something. I think my dad said hey get oh hey kiddo. Yeah. Yeah. What else did he say? What are you doing? What do you don't?

Yeah, yeah, come over here. Okay. Well, I might all right make it. Oh, yeah, it's come over here Okay, yeah, look at this you know what this is oh, that's yours. No, this is a this is a magazine. Oh, what is that? It's you know Pretty good magazine. It's called hustler. Oh, nice. How you doing? Yeah, you don't look better now. Yeah. Yeah. No. Do you feel any kind of thing down there? No, you don't know look at this What is that?

A colon advertisement. Yeah, smell it. Yeah, dracar now. I'm hard. Yeah So your pops introduced you I think he just thought no, no not like sex not jerking off stuff. I think my dad said something about If you're gonna do stuff with girls you go get a condom. I think that was like the most that he said was like You're gonna do it. I will you're probably gonna do at your age. Just don't don't don't don't be dumb Just go get a condom. So when y'all got a middle school and my mother would just would have waited one more year. They taught us that because he has sex aid and

Yeah, and there wasn't circle jerks. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah No, I don't know I don't know We didn't have a community circle jerking up or I mean, you know, we just yeah, you did you gotta you just covered on your own So what happened was my friend Allen's dad had video tape

Right, and so what I would go I would go he can you steal one of his video tapes Can I borrow it? Yeah, yeah, I love the videos and back to that it was like a movie called Debbie does Dallas. I love Debbie does Dallas. Debbie does Dallas. Yeah, it's a classic It's like porn's you know vertigo or whatever Buckle it's now. Yeah, yeah, but um, so that was what what year was Debbie does Dallas

She was before our time had it been 87 78 Yeah, so I'm that's perfect. You know, I mean, so I'm like you know 10 years old. He has Debbie does Dallas And I take it home, right my parents at work was a week-end and I you know, means you're off to have real quick

Three pumps watching Debbie does Dallas and then it's a little thing came out...

And I was like it felt so good and I was like wow like a it's just like a like a volcano No, I think it wasn't like the over the side it made that's more like a it made that someone you're walking to a Korean store

Yeah, but I just remember that I must have been like 13. I don't know 13 13 13. All right, yeah, 13

Your parents didn't have a porn. No, no, don't talk about it. Yeah, yeah, you're good You're dead. Yeah, yes, your mom did you found your mom's my dad You did have it as she was all over the place. I thought he had a worse fucking hideer ever I was finding porn under the couch

Under the shelves and I was like, dude, this you got this shit happy with it. Yeah, mom never said anything about it

I'm quite sure she watched it with him. She had it too because I'm just like I can just do much porn. Yeah, my father. They're watching it together Well, okay, that's a good some people use Jurassic Park as a family Gather around family if we're gonna watch Jurassic Park or whatever, but not you guys I guarantee yeah for scum everybody come on in you know, but

You pause probably had porn in someone. No, we didn't for sure for sure. I didn't for sure Yeah, my parents were tradition my dad did for sure, but he but it's not like it wasn't in like the cupboard It wasn't like near the cereal. Did you look for it? No, because I had my own like I had ours. All right, but what I'm in by the shelf is I was like One tail under the carpet being is it dried basil? I mean

Such a shelf. No, what I'm saying though is I became like Inspector Gadget. I was looking chimney. I didn't give a fuck I was like where's he keeping his shit? And I was finally his dad's like this motherfucking Man, it was like a man marathon to be nervous. This is he's a little guy That's a clock Your dad's just trying to make you a detective. He's like yeah, not gonna be a detective

You found it eventually. Yeah. I was like the riddle he'd leave clues Like a little card Welcome doc If kids saw what you're looking all right let's stop the flower. Yeah, the three main spots was underneath the college behind The couch underneath

I was lifting the couch isn't shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the couch. I got it if you're parents watching together

Why would they just keep it in their bedroom? Yeah, because that's why I was fighting an issue - it didn't matter

It doesn't matter. I just kept it in their bedroom. I don't think my mom. I think my dad was the one He just was just in today. Yeah, he just was hiding it. There's the way he was at my mother. We did that But my my five I'm like he's the one. Hi, and this is dumb shit. I'll find an issue everywhere He wanted you to find it. Probably. Yeah, yeah. He wanted you to find just hope in that you were entry and they had a master bit I mean a king size king bear

Yeah, that most parents have that. No, but they yeah, yeah, parents don't have my parents don't have a single bed. Yeah, yeah, my dad's gonna call two our men The headboard yeah, but it's the headboard. It's like it's the couch beneath the couch The triple couch situation yeah, but oh, but the head would not that It's like I don't even know how what to call it because it's like it was a mirror, right?

You never say you know shit like this. Oh, all right, so there's like a bed. Let me like it

Bad a dresser and there's a mirror in the back Thing that goes with the bed. Yeah, so like the bed frame in the headboard right, but this is like Sort of headboard is actually a mirror with drawers and in his gut. Oh, that is that it? Bigger than that. Oh, bigger than that. Yeah, yeah, we can visualize it. No, I have a window that one is like a whole contraption

They had like it was very oh, I say I don't send because that's what my friend Allen had in his parents had a water bed

But in behind it with the recabnets and a mirror and those are some mirror on the ceiling for some reason. I don't know Silly I end up with the yeah these people had parents like what is that about what is people There you go. What do you mean? See that one right there? Yeah, some kind of like that Which one all the way on the end that one with a blue or you just know with that blue one what that blue one I don't know go back with the arrow. Okay, like that. Like that. Okay. Like that. Oh, like it. It's all like that. Oh, okay

There's a microwave above there. What the fuck is going on there? There's a whole bunch of shit What is it Santa rent a center? Who's it yeah, wow

You're never seeing it. Yeah, I remember seeing you mean I've I think seen I've seen with 70s versions of that, but yeah, yeah

Yeah, so there's a contraption.

Yeah, he used to how it tapes in the area. Yep, right up in there. Yeah, I used to call DVDs or tapes Lacer. Yeah, in all of America you feel the old film thing that they put the real in Real the real was was funny too is it just was

Pin house hustler. Yeah, he had a couple playboy but playboy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy was always weak. He wanted to be one of the

One at nasty. He wanted that and I showed it. I said I'm dumb. Oh, this dude like for the last time You're a weirdo. Yeah, I don't yeah, I don't but um, wow So you you he he hit on in that backboard. Yeah, and also the couch behind the couch Where are some other areas kitchen? Okay, so we had a they had a kitchen behind the kitchen. Oh, they did. Yeah, two kitchen In a timing system in the dinner

It was underneath The shelf it was just the way you could just barely slide anything under there. Okay, so it just squeezed underneath it

There you go. Yeah, like that like that. So it would be you have to live like that whole thing

Big enough. Okay. Okay. Okay. We had like that like that like that but better. Okay. Okay. High level. Yeah, and it was underneath like that Okay, like that. So and you like to lift that as a kid to get to it. It was like It was a space Elevated enough off the floor where he could just squeeze him in and he would try to push him all the way to the back But this guy yeah, yeah, yeah

Wow, you probably felt like you know excitement finding it, too like my dad's gonna hide it I'm gonna find it's like a you know, it's a little game you're playing with your dad

Yeah, it's an Easter egg. Yeah, wow. That's amazing. And what kind was it?

It was that's our gun to taboo Come on back me I tell you what guy. Oh my guy. I'll tell you I I drink the stuff. It's so nutrient dense It's all the nutrition your body craves and one delicious simple shake and let me tell you something right now Kachava's got its new cinnamon French toast. It's so good. It's so good. You love you really love the mint chocolate

Mint chocolate chip is one of your ultimate favorites. I have them all chocolate vanilla chai Macha coconut a strawberry coffee chocolate mint and of course the new cinnamon French toast. It's pretty incredible The best part about this is man energy digestion strength metabolism cognition immunity kachava supports literally all of these things If you haven't tried it you really should the flavors are so good It doesn't taste like one of these shakes that's filled with all sorts of like powdery nonsense like it's stuck in your no GMO

Dude, no soy no animal products no gluten no preservative no fillers no nonsense Yeah, this stuff is great and it's clean nutrition if you'll wherever your day is gonna take you

So you need to take treat treat yourself right now to a childhood favorite go to kachava.com and use our code bad friends

For 15% off your first order. That's kachava k a c h a v a dot com code bad friends

Shopify Shopify is where you go to start your business with everything you need already there from day one I'm telling you they they they they've changed our lives. They have because we have an online business Yes, we do we sell shirts. We sell merch right now great shirts at bed friends merch.com. Yeah, we love Shopify Shopify checkout it it's it does something that most of these things can't do it means more customers are gonna Actually buy return and returning ones can do it in one single clip because Shopify checkout makes it seamless

Okay, and the questions are gonna come up people that are shopping online Shopify has built an AI assistant sidekick It's ready to help you build troubleshoot and keep on moving so you get back to what you're doing Which is shopping for what you love it Shopify handles the setup and check out the more time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it with them They kind of make everything seamless for your business so you can sell whatever it is you're selling

Well, the power millions of businesses worldwide from household names like metal and gym shark to small businesses

Just getting started like bad friends. They helped us out since the very beginning We've been using Shopify handle everything since the jump on this show and we want to thank them for helping us out That makes our online store seamless and easy to use all you need is the idea Shopify handles all of the rest start your free trial at Shopify dot com slash bad friends you heard him. He said start your free trial at Shopify dot com slash bad friends Quints. Oh my god. I love quins because it's like high level fashion nice material

But you're not paying as much, you know for it. I'm telling you dude. This is so soft. It's so soft. This is like your little tushy This is like Bobby's little smooth tush. I love it. I keep going back to these guys They sent us a bunch of stuff and I was like yeah, let me try it on 100% European linen pants They have shirts are very breathable easy to throw on summer upgrade Knees to happen in your clothing rotation and this is the best part Bob said it. Yeah, they started just $34. Oh my god

Their tears are soft enough to live in all day. Yeah, and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when summer nights cool down

It is so nice men and everything at quints by the way is price 50 to 80% less...

They worked directly with ethical factories cut out that middleman that nonsense middleman so you're paying Exceptional quality not for the brand markup because that's where you get taken and it's not just clothing quints right now It's become a trusted favorite for everything from home to travel to everyday essentials They sent over some travel stuff for me, which was very nice. Thank you quints and now I've got all the clothes I need from my little trip plus all my little essentials for my on the go make your summer wardrobe easier

Go to quints dot com slash bad friends for free shipping on your order in a 365 day returns Wow, it's not available upstairs in Canada too. That's quints q_u_i_n_c_e_ dot com slash bad friends for free shipping in 365 day returns quints dot com slash bad friends You know, it's it's better to be a dad now. I think it's easier to hide it. Well, we are getting later as a kid That's what you do But also now

We're the streets always didn't get it in

Usually seven year olds are not getting late. Yeah, but you tell me there's a sex epidemic now with 20 year olds You know, I mean there's a it's bad. So they say no. It's true. Who's polling that and who's saying yes or no?

I think it's college campuses. Where could they get that? I mean like who which colleges?

I mean there's polls and stuff people call. I don't buy the show me a poll show me the poll that kids are having less sex than ever Because I don't buy it. Who would say yes? You'd lie you'd be worried the kids are having less sex. Yeah, they say they are now the youth risk behavior Today's high schoolers are reporting lower rates of sexual activity than previous generation Yeah, because they locked in on the youth risk behavior survey 30% of high schools who's taking that imagine they go to your school

Like you just want to take a survey about sexual activity everyone will be like now fuck that So the people that said yes of the nerds that aren't fucking so though. No, I think he talks right. I think the dopeening in hits Right that normally kids would get are now Exchange with video games. No. I don't think it's dope. I mean I think the fear of the internet is what's real. It's not the dope I mean there. It's big we had dopamine hits

We played what duck hunt for a thousand hours of fucking day real talk the problem is

You they're afraid of the internet of like a girl being saying something about them like Tommy Martin's cock is good his sideways then passing it around everyone in school All right, there's no there was no community kid when we were kids it was word a mouth and half of that shit was not true

You know like I remember this girl. They they said that this older guy we were we were what

Sixth grade and they said an eighth grader She poured syrup on his weiner and lick that off and then in high school someone asked her she was like We've never even hung out me in that yeah, but it was like people just made up shit cuz you're like You heard the my girl those are girl. That's in my class I forgot her name. I feel so bad about that But there was a rumor that she took three bunnies and put it in the microwave and

They exploded in a microwave, right, and I remember at school. I don't funny killer I know by me saying about good. No, yeah, this is real. Yeah, there was a rumor right and I called her bunny killer Right, and then the teacher came up to me and yell at me. It's like you have no proof You have no you know, yeah, these are just alleged, you know allegations, but it sounded real It sounded real and then I fight saw her now. I'd be like I know you didn't kill bunnies

Yeah, by the way, now she's doing it after all those years. Yeah, maybe she was What was a bit rumor in your high school that got around a big rumor that like everyone was saying In high school I'll tell you what our high school did they tried to elect twin brother and sister prom king and prom queen That was like the meanest thing ever

They did that had happened. Yeah, yeah, I was never in the taboo. Yeah, I was never even in the running were you in the running for prom

Yeah, no, yeah, I wasn't even no even the the funniest guy in my high school was a guy named Matt, you wait

Where's he at I don't know, but and I remember when him getting the you know prom king or we're no

He got do we had a funniest guy like different like oh Oh, so you got funniest guy, you know, I mean in our class and I remember in the yearbook You're seeing it you had a front page like a page Right, and I remember going I'm so much fun here. What did you get nothing?

I got nothing. He wasn't there enough He would probably you probably were absent a lot. Yeah, I missed junior year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's kind of like you can't get voted if you're not really around Okay, all right, what did you get anything? Me either I was popular, but not like that most likely to go to the NBA Imagine he was taller than everybody at one point and they were like man Docs doc is gonna go, man

I actually leave the JB team see I got kicked off. That's insane like his day kept growing It's a little weird. It's like they come back from the summer. They're like damn doc just on your look You look like a boulder Yeah, yeah, he's nasty. I got a ball. I got him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know he's nasty a ball. I picked you do you roll a skater? No

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All football some way to everything we're stuff is close to the ground

Yeah, that's what I love roller skating. I go by myself. Yeah, if I fall it's way or it hurt

You know, you're not jumping a lot Basketball that's too far for you. Yeah. Be crazy if I was a pole voters You have an alien updates or a I'll tell you one and tell me Doesn't have to be alien you could just not even give me up dates of your life

What's going on in your real life? Are you still working now? I haven't worked in about two years How do you so right now? I'm like in between us where am I pick up another job? I'm depending on if I have this other project that might go through and Like a podcast. No, no, no, no, okay this is act, but um, okay I'm like working on my stand up more

Let me say I've been going back at four of two New York. So I want to go to New York this month good and it ended this month and Keep building the stand up. I ain't really been the one too much and I'm just that and you know being with hanging out with my cousin Trying to give him some time to you. Do you collect unemployment? No, not why not? I did when I first left Because you can't get it now, but Amazon Doug don't they have an unemployment program for as long as you work there Don't you get benefits when you leave? Yeah, I got those already and you're done

How about this Wednesday? I do a bellyroom show this Wednesday's new joke night You want to do one of these door in the bellyroom upstairs upstairs

Come do it. It's always hard. Yeah, it's not him. It's my it's my show, but I'll like you know

On reagins on it. There's a bunch of people on it I know you do but go come upstairs and do the bellyroom. I will I'm doing brand new jokes Best thing to make up the stairs and not see anybody. Yeah, yeah come this Wednesday night. I'll put you up All right, yeah So you can get some rounds in yeah, you know

Wait, what what what are you doing when you wake up in the morning? You give me the routine the doctor routine I wake up by eat what time check my email what time is it? It's like seven eight o'clock in the morning Yeah, and wow do that Then I go walk the neighborhood around 11 12 o'clock doing what stocking Prep things called prepping. Oh, I'll probably wrong rooming

Cruising he's cruising. Yeah, he's cruising. Yeah, he's creeping. He peeping. He think Okay, all right, so you're walking around the neighborhood. So once you found your victim than it's not No, so you're walking on them walk around a neighborhood Then I come home And then I just chill in the career make lunch. Yeah, and I might go do a micro if I got a little small show to do something like that

I do that and I just talk on the phone and family in friends

I'm telling you my life my friend they'd be like man your life is boring as they all stop calling me

Yeah, but it sounds very easy and nice man Cause I'm 52 so I don't but more can you really do like I'm not a party. You hardly would drunk You know like Bob. I'm just Silver almost five years Almost yeah, yeah, so that's insane. Oh god damn proud. Yeah, yeah, but I'm 55 as well

So we're you know getting older Maybe you're just slowing down physically. Yeah, well, you know what I was gonna say though is you don't only person that ever

Drink and get fucked up and don't party. I you've never heard it is guy like party anywhere. Who is guy? I did it alone

Hello, yeah, he was like that alone I'm gonna alone I've it is hotel room. Yeah. I'm not one of those guys. I'm gonna go to the bar or you know That's me. I love the bar. Yeah, you do. I love a bar. He loves a bar But how did you get drunk? I'm not like fucked up alone like is it like a What makes you just go fuck it?

Just me and I'm just going because for me. It's like it was it was always just hiding. I like I knew what it was It is me covering up feelings and

Not wanting to be here and it's like why would I do it in front of other people?

You know, so doing drugs alone and drinking alone privately in my bedroom is my thing It's it it is the person you know I remember when I was detoxing I thought I was gonna die the last time and I was waiting for a room to open up at a place in Phoenix, but I and I slept by the door away of the hotel

Because if I had died, then they just they can discover my body sooner What the fuck You gotta be waiting for so much Why why people didn't walk in and see you fucking no, I just thought that I thought like I was gonna Die

I feel like I need a medical or something All right forget it I'm sorry, I say it's like one of the most vulnerable things that have happened to me in the last five years I think you think his death was like Was influenced by his need to be seen as a famous

Yeah, I won't define me dramatically like on the ground

You didn't do it at night as in Maryland. I don't feel well No, I was just I took a look at it. Oh Okay, yeah, I just would sleep by the door with a pillow. How you feel now? I feel great. Yeah. Yeah, I feel great But I don't like the way you mocked me. I just yeah

I've never I've told that story before I've never had anyone laugh at it. Oh, I'm sorry

Yeah, yeah, that that didn't seem like but we could get doctor to go to a movie just laugh every story. Yeah, it was just like my bottom It's so crazy. Oh, it's so crazy to hear a famous person's bottom It's like what the fuck yeah I wasn't in like a nice hotel. I was just it was okay. Yeah, it was not it was a nice Very used to borrow a poor kid in a third world countries like I wish I could be

Very lucky. I'm very lucky that I got that stay in the nice hotel waiting for a room to open up at a rehab I'm very lucky you know, yeah privilege bottom. Yeah, it's a privilege bottom, but for me it was my bottom. Yeah That's the name of his new special privileged bottom

When does your special come on November? Yeah, remember why I don't know. Yeah. Oh, for who the relations. Yeah

Okay, you know what we're good. Yeah, yeah, you're pushing, but I like it. Yeah, I did it already Okay, well he shot it already. I shot it already. Oh my shit have been done it. Yeah, yeah, but I already did it Yeah, yeah, I mean it's I did it All the fans was looking for it. They've been looking for Yoshi it and it's coming out Why are you angry all of a sudden

I'm like this guy like he's like one of the guys that just Won't give the people what they want it's like fuck you They've been won the shit for a long time Bobby it's like stop this bash you move on even I want it Yeah, but he wants to He wants to make it's a real special a special special special special. Oh, this one is dear to you

I didn't know I'll get it out get it out. I like it get the frustrations out. It's not for a station Yes, yeah, what is it? In Vino Vettitas and wine there was truth Okay, well, it's it's a admiration yeah, yeah, he had Myers. You admire me You you you you funny dude like Kevin Spacey in the movie seven, but you know what I'm gonna And I are you from afar

Yeah, man, he come braff. That's the wrong

Remember that's what it sounds like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a little psychotic. It's called finally you've already done with three five

No, I've done I've done three right. Yeah. How did you feel about this? I don't know you know I saw it a couple times I go. I can't watch it again. You guys I I get you know I told the producers just whatever just cut this my laugh out a lot Oh, you so you're going to New York. Well, I show you're gonna go try to live in New York

No, no, no, no, I'm just one of just I've just been going back or over the past where are you staying when you go to New York in the whole town Oh, you don't see like a friend or anything. No, the Chicago tells are just one do like three or four about almost a month out there Just one That's gonna be so expensive Why don't you just stay with the friend. There's gotta be comics

Well, my family, but the problem is is I like to just be in out gone now the last time I'll stay with you know

Lee Say it that does the Podcasts you show your ideas is show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They still do. Oh, oh, yeah together So he here. I was staying with him the last time I was there and Jersey no Oh, he lives in a city. Yeah, he just recently got married to slept on the couch

Yeah, I said why I can slip in the bed. I had the whole apartment to myself because he has this This I like so defensive I don't really get a spare about maybe kind of yeah, yeah, but I didn't sleep in his bed It's weird even though it's like

Because you never know like I know he probably washed, but sleeping in another man's jeez is weird

Yeah, well, yeah, oh, you're assuming a lot, but yeah Yeah, you think he knew Inspector Gadget was coming to sleep over so he left him Black in a spectacular gadget Yeah Oh, that's you talk

Yeah, he's got a gun. So it's important some money. It's a great

To be no winner. We're the Vino right there. Yeah. No, no, no, no Will he find his bitches? Did that be a good look for you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, where my bitches? Don't don't don't

Wow, how am I here expecting man?

Could you have a bit become a detective you think you know what are you recently just tried to

Apply for being a police dispatcher because I just wanted to see if I can do it I failed to hold more fucking I failed as you say wait wait. How's that hard? No, you just answered the phone? No, no, no, no like so when I bring you in They gives you all recordings, right? So it's all emergency calls It's like, yeah, such a but it's like so much shit going on and once you got to try to memorize this shit

All right, let's I'm Paul Ian. Hello That's why I'm sure I'm fired it now. I'm on one of my chair emergency. Yeah, yeah, you're that right ready. Go trying to tell you I won't go ahead What so you start 911 emergency My cat is stuck in it. No, you're the fucking you're the guy. I see what you say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh I'm bigger. Yeah, you're the I won How may I help you how much your emergency? What's your emergency? It's like the literal. Yeah. Oh, this is what I'm trying to tell you

I came all my came all my parents my parents the they're not breathing

What you guys just relax. I'm always on the side getting arrested

Let me see the test they've to put the test online. Yeah, what it's like if it is online whoever put that up They gonna get arrested. What was it what was the what was the test like the test is all recordings So I listen to a call and then you have to jot down an information that's happening

And you have to make sure you take the most crucial points in vint they do a month

What the choice question and you failed those I fail. Yeah, here. Here's here some right, so um, but wait a minute What I'm confused about is don't can't you they're writing stuff down aren't they in a computer while they're on the call? You can hear them. They're typing the names addresses, so you write it to memorize it because you got a When when you're under pressure, right? You have to retain the information. Yeah, you have to know what okay? Ready to take Yeah, you do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm on one is a joke in your town

Already, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't wait yet. Okay. I'll do it 911 what you're emergency hi. Yeah, my my son just broken into the house and he shot my brother and my mother in law And they stole my dog three of our dogs. They stole a kibbles a whiny and poops me and He's wearing what is something something I poops me? What is that poops me? What is that poops me was a name our four-year-old gave our four-year-old is in the house to he's upstairs He's trapped

I any damage your brother. Please come back fast. Please come by is gave your brother. They're gone. Oh

I'm the cop ready. Yeah. All right emergency. What's going on?

Oh, I'm a man called I mean and the brother broken the house shot the brother a name gave stuck in there Gabe yeah, and there's animals. How many a couple what are their names? I don't know I didn't know this was just gonna be this kind of time That's what you had to do Is just a my dream

Fucking just what's that your dream. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm trying I just put an application I didn't think they were gonna call me they call like come on in I was like what the fuck they yeah, yeah, they need people That's a tough gig. That's a caught couple. You're listening to the sad shit all day. I can't do it It's to try to try to try to traumatic you know what I do. I told him be my eyes. I do be my eyes. You know be my eyes Is this it's great. Look up be my eyes my friend Hillary signed me up for it's an app where blind people call you and

They say like hey can they show you their their face timing you and they go hey man What am I looking at like I'm look like my last one was a guy working in his garage and he was like hey What part is this is this and like what size is this? What is this so I was telling him what the parts were they were in front of him that he needed That's not the same thing. This is bullshit What do you mean I'm how no you help you help these people by the mechanic

No, so man just fixing something and it's garage Yeah, you call Ikea call. Ikea they'll bring over so they'll come in help you Yeah, this it's not landing. This is a good thing. This is a very good thing. So a blind person. Yeah, you guys. Oh, it's a blind person

Not a blind person. Yes, I did. You did. Okay. Tell me again the first thing out of my fucking mouth here blind people

I think they should call it something else be my eyes. Yeah, pretty literal

I do not fake I'm a eyes with other face without a face No, it's great because blind people if people if you don't know. Yeah, I they're blind not that most people that are blind can't see Anything that's like a common misnomer. It's not like you see blackness. That's actually super rare So they see, but they can see distorted so a woman called me and goes, "Hey, what's bag of vegetables in my holding?"

I can't tell which one this is you can't catch a GTP it shout out to me I'm hurt. How is Chanchi PT gonna tell her what it is? I'm because you can take a photo of what kind of vegetable is this? I don't know Maybe she has one news chat you they used to be my eyes. Okay, so so I be my eyes a lot

I like that that I do they call and it goes blah blah blah.

That wouldn't work. No, so that failed. Yeah, yeah, so what else are you trying to do? I got 49

out of 799 that's supposed to get 79 you had 49 out of 79 the test was out of 79 No, 79 was just a pair. I got 49 on it That doesn't sound like a hole because I'm going to record and came on I left the whole section By the way, he goes I got 49 out of 79 and I'm like that doesn't make sense. You got 49 out of a hundred But I just try to make it better. Yeah

When he said seven I go, what a weird what a not too much number Fort 49 out of a hundred is wild. They give you like 30 put in your name on it Yeah

The recording was so fast it's rapid and they tell you they say hey, you're not going to get everything just jot down

Which you can't so it gets it goes from slow and then it goes Progressively like just to dot god damn top speed like where there are people in there taking it with you at the same time Yeah, it was like 50. Did any of them pass, you know

God, I'll be if you've got to be if you've got to be 49 if you're of that's how many how many people do you think audition? I'm going to be honest like I didn't even want to jump

audition Did you meet the director Please slate place. Yeah, interview the interview how many people interviewed at the same time you did Take the test. It wasn't it's just about 50 people 50 and you think they'd be too come up I was going to honor to get it. Yeah, it's got to be someone that's really good at like retention and rigour the 40%

But chick next to me was so fast maybe half the chick next to me was so fast I see she's just doing she's just writing she down is no way, but if she was that fair She didn't pass. Maybe she did. Yeah, if you're a fan of ours, and you do nine one one operator Please by the way, and I'm an operator. So funny. They're listening to our show instead of taking calls Please let us know down below reach out to Carlos and the booth at gmail.com

We want to hear your story. I would love to hear you don't I mean I'd love to find a person But there's some nine one operation out there. It's a fan of your show You know why I think our biggest contingency of fans what? I buy far huh people who call nine one one Okay Probably but very good. Yeah, very good drivers. I passed the typing test drivers. Oh, there's a typing test there

Yeah, that's how I got to the next thing. How many were for men?

I think I type 43 and you only had to do like 30 and 5 that's good. You send you you thought oh my god I got this Yeah, we're able to type in big, but milk.com quick Below 40 is not good. You just got it. You just 40 to 50 is average 60 is good and 80 is advanced. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm 20. I got to be 20. Do you type? I voiced text. Yeah, I don't even fucking time

We do a lot yeah, like spade type it wasn't a curriculum or must yeah, when we were in high school Oh, yeah, I don't know the numbers though I don't remember what mine was because I just did whatever they needed. I think if I if I wouldn't know what the T and the HR Right, I have my index fingers on those. I think I can do it. Well, no, I can type like this. Yeah You don't need well, you know the home or keys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's not a NFL whatever the yeah, yeah

I know no, he doesn't type yeah, he hunts and packs. He does this. Now. Hey And I think I do it and then he goes Yeah, delete delete. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys know how to type you know the home or keys. Yeah, okay. What about you? Carlo, I mean, I know how to type yeah. Yeah, I can't like list the keys by from a SDFL. What is it? I don't I see it, but I don't know. Yeah, yeah, this is a question for you guys. Would you do neural link in the future? Oh, yeah

10 years from now. I don't even know what it is. I'll do it chip in plantation and you're oh fuck. Yeah, you Sure, I'm doing all of it. I don't care. Yeah, I don't have kids Yeah, yeah, I'm not valuable. I'll be the first guy to do it I'm not a valuable guy. I can get out of here and known what it it's fine. Yeah, put it in my head 10 years from now. That's why it'll be way more

What does the risk thing is that funny everyone in this room is childless except for you. You would never do it

I wouldn't do this see what I mean and Carlos, would you do it now two early for 10 years 10 years if we so advance And 10 year it didn't even seem I don't know they don't seem like what how far we've gone in 10 years from now Yeah, I think about 10 years ago and how far we've gone from then to now and then it's exponentially getting fast Or every year we can't even predict 10 years could be

In the same I think 10 also remember that AI is also

Big contributor to the technology advancement. Oh, I see so now would you do it? Probably not still on it. Wow, wow. What's the hesitation? I wonder I already got something on my head

You put oh, you don't want to fuck up your hair.

We're gonna have to go through now and they do newer link now for people with hair trans they have different you got his hair done Hey, shit there. What were you you really got something done? It's more Yeah, when did you get it done? Come here and show them up close. He can towel up close. It's grunts ago It just started too much to go. It takes a long time, but he gets there look at it It's going dude. Look look at how much better that looks. Well, I would face him forward. Yeah, there. Yeah

Look at that look at how much is there okay?

Yeah, I don't know what touch it. I never touch it. Yeah, yeah, you wanted to touch it. Yeah

You've gave you consent who's going to tell them folks? I didn't tell them all Yeah, it's a cheap air. Yeah, we'll get you money back It was free. It was free. Yeah, yeah, that's what you get one on it free. Do you feel do you feel the confidence coming back or How do you feel? No, I forget about it all the time. It will be a couple months. He was confident when he was bald

Did that it doesn't matter. That's what I like about there. It never mattered to him forever. Would you get it done?

Plucks. Yeah. No. I'm gonna go on here and just yeah. Me you shave your head anyway. Yeah I mean, I don't shave it You I'm saying you but you you wouldn't have bought it short. Yeah, I could. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so my shit is like wait

Who cut your hair me you cut your own yeah, I used to be a barber. I didn't tell you

The president you broke a fuck you with everything Baker barber anything candlestickmaker wasn't it isn't it hard for you to line yourself up though Isn't that what they said no? No, not as my eyesight is a isn't as I got to tell you one side is higher than the other But my hair don't grow like straight everybody's I know. I know. I know. I know. It's a little crooked. I guess That's okay. No, I'm so you line your shit up in the mirror. Yeah. Wow. Wow Do you have a do you have like a template to line up? Do you put on your head you've seen this when people put the you know

Yeah, you're not a bull, but you know what I mean. They have like they have guards and guides now. So you can line up yourself

You've never seen them are cheers. Oh, okay. Rookies. Oh, yes, he's in bed here

Oh, you got the looks good. I don't think he's power of peace up. No, I'm not used to blend it

But you're doing it wrong. They do say it's hard to do on your own because it's in the mirror

That's got to be tough. Look at that fade for beginners. Well, if you take a three shave or like you know me The whatever the Level three I don't know what that mean. Oh, you mean the The clip number the clip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you just do it. Why would that not? No, no, he he has to line the line The pair lines and ones and no guards. I'm I'm deep in a trench. We're talking not the whole head

We're talking about lining up his hair line. Yeah, right here. Okay. Right here. Black guys black guys get their edges You add your I wouldn't add it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're an edge. You get your shit edge too. Look to beer. Yeah. We at shit Yeah, I have a bar because I have you know because I have a little bit of flavor time Not better the boss button the middle and the bed, but now wow. He's strong. Wow. You're gonna shave You get this guy above the Josh, and he over here

I know we're not on you. I'm today's you know what I get today? I go I go we need to talk today Yeah, yeah, I did because I just today I was doing other podcasts. I was a brain fried How do you know do that? It's so hard bounce in the park. I don't like it Yeah, it's hard. I barely like doing this shit Thank you, bro. Yeah, thank you

Like when you get the call do you get do you go fuck now you yeah, sometimes I but I'll tell you why you two are very gifted

You know, I don't think you got really let me do no kid. That's why you're rich, but let me tell you something

I'm a dance you two go do the way that you do voices and accents and shit like even when I came on here I'm like I don't know how you're doing I'm going to be the Jimmy's Mollies Is that the gift you're speaking it's just but even in the character work that you two do yeah It's funny. It's believable. Yeah, and it's it just crosses it can be it can be yeah Sometimes I think I think is we have our it's our little play place

This is where we get to like a Fucking goof it's like our little goof. It's a goof room. It's a goof room. I See the same two dudes on stage though cuz I grew up with you guys. Yeah. No, I know you mean we are yes We did yeah, no you're right. Well because what oh, I don't know yeah, I mean we're polar opposites in many ways very a lot Yeah, yeah, of course X is more alpha except our comedic dials seem to be on this it's like

What's that thing done? Control loves it. You know the thing that's like Shout out the beat. I love that dude. You know he he has that like it's like a trick. It's like electric waves between your hands And it like do you don't talk in them? Of course. I don't know the name is Aliphon is Alamo Is Alamo, I don't know what it's called but I mean like you can have these different sounds and they're so different

Somehow they like blend well.

Frequency we're two different frequencies, but for right. Aliphon right or no. No. No. No. It's like with the hand. It's like with your hands

Yeah, what do you call that? You call that let me Yeah Isn't that wild as fuck yeah You're doing that with taboo. I know

Oh, be nice guys. He has Parkinson sets. That's it has nothing with the music. Oh, god. You know

Yeah, it's beautiful. Is it not you've heard that in music a ferman You're using two electros. Oh, yeah, there is no strings. It's all it's all because of a electric So it's a currency. It's a current. Yeah, it's the current. You're interrupting the current. Oh, okay You know pop this Have you heard of a dizzy do

What year was this even? Well, what year is the ferman invented probably in the 60s 50s 60s. I don't even know It's a cool instrument Because he's doing the fucking theme song from when is it from 1920 good not 20 dude from from fucking that was somewhere somewhere over the rainbow You were in that movie was it a vise. Yeah. What's your pop cute you weren't total

Little black bands. Yeah, unless he went so much the flyer monkeys because they know I would

I'm not gonna go I'd be the scarecrow I think you can go there because you don't want you have no harsh. That's a tin man

No, no, I have no soul no brain no brains. I'd be I'm yeah. I'm delete the scarecrow You're the no brains. Yeah, what am I then? I'm probably I'm not the coward that line. Oh, I'm the man behind the curtain The whistle yeah, you're the winner. Yeah, yeah, and you're Toto that would be me. Yeah, and I would be the guy behind it

No, no, no, no, because of my voice cuz remember he had a powerful ass. Let me hear a curtain in the slain

Just a little bitch. You know the whizz was a black as wizard of us no. Yeah, best of it Yeah, that's the weird the Asian one wouldn't work because of the yellow brick road. We just disappear Well, Toto would only been for one scene. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the tin man it would say made in China And then see yeah, and see yeah the movie would be five minutes long. Yeah

In the whizz the yellow brick road. It was Martin Luther King Boulevard of the Got to go yeah doc look into the camera sign off for it. I love you. I love y'all Thank y'all for checking all bad friends. We see y'all soon. No, that's not one of us. Thank you for being a bad friend

Always fucking up. Yeah, you got it. All right. Thank y'all for being a bad friend

You give a beautiful voice

It's a peanut talking ass. Yeah, yeah, oh, and she will be love and she will be love okay?

(laughing)

Compare and Explore