Crystal | Featured on ABC's Betrayal: Secrets and Lies

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“I'm Lori Seagull, and this is mostly human,”

a tech podcast through a human lens.

This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman. I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world. An in-depth conversation with the man who's shaping our future.

My highest order of bid is to not destroy the world of AI. Listen to mostly human on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Ready for a different take on Formula One? Look no further than no grip.

A new podcast tackling the culture of motor racing's most coveted series.

Join me, Lily Herman, as we dive into the under-explore pockets of F1.

Including the story of the woman who last participated in a Formula One race weekend, the recent uptick in F1 romance novels. And plenty of mishab scandals and sagas that have made Formula One a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to no grip on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. A screen good down, good down, those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that may or may not have been political,

that may have been about sex. Listen to Worshack, murder and city hall on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2023, Bachelor Star Clayton Eckard was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax.

“You doctor this particular test twice in silence, correct?”

I doctor the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Regal espiond, Michael Manchini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap.

Laura, Scott State Police.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Listen to Love Trap podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Andrea, and we are re-releasing some of our past weekly episodes, and there's a good reason why. For the last year, I have been working with ABC on turning some of your favorite episodes

of Betrayal Weekly into a TV show. The show was called Betrayal Secrets and Lies, and it airs every Sunday at 10 p.m. on ABC. This week, we are re-releasing Crystal Harris' story. Working on Crystal's story was both challenging and incredibly inspiring. At the time, our team was deep in season 5 of Saskia's story.

So we were already sitting with heavy material and Crystal's story lives in that same space. To me, she's fearless, even though she lived in fear for a very long time. What her story really represents is something we talk about a lot at Betrayal. What it means to prioritize her pain over your abusers' potential.

Even when there's evidence, even when you have all the documentation, your credibility can still be questioned. And when you come up against systems like the criminal justice system or civil court that don't protect you the way they should, you don't have to accept that as the end of the story. And Crystal did it. She used her voice, she pushed back,

and she worked to change the system itself. That's the power of testimony of speaking and of just doing the damn thing. If you have not heard this story, I won't give any more away. Hearing Crystal's story is fascinating, but seeing it unfold is a whole new experience. So please check out Betrayal Secrets and lies on ABC and Hulu to see Crystal

and wear her story takes place. Enjoy the episode. Hi everyone, it's Andrea Gunning. Before we start this episode, I want to let you know that we will be talking explicitly about the realities of domestic violence and sexual assault. So please, be mindful with this episode.

I came up with my plan, which was, "I'm gonna buy a gun."

“That's my way out. I still remember walking into this gun store,”

thinking that I cannot believe this is my life. I can't believe this is my life. I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal.

I have a thick skin. You're not gonna be able to offend me.

“I don't ever give off a vibe of it's okay to mess with me.”

That's Crystal Harris. Her story is one of an intimate and personal betrayal, but it's also a story of an institutional one. Crystal grew up in the 70s in Southern California. Which at the time was all orange groves. We lived out in the middle of nowhere. And my parents were hippies. From an early age, Crystal was confident.

I have pictured myself as an adult since I was little.

I mean, five years old. And the vision that always came to me was

a "business woman." You know, I saw myself with a briefcase and high heels. She's always been the kind of person. Visualizes what she wants and makes it happen. I had my life all planned out.

“Just as I saw myself as a business woman, I also saw myself as a wife and mother.”

My plan was to graduate at 21. Hopefully I would have met my husband at some point in college and we would get married around 23 after I started my career. And then I wanted to have kids when I was 30. That was my plan.

Crystal's parents divorced when she was eight and she moved in with her dad. I saw my mom after the divorce. She didn't really have a profession.

She had married my dad when she was 18 and she never went to school.

And so she had to like scramble a little bit. And it made me realize I would never want to be left in that position where I

“had to rely on someone else for my financial security.”

So I entered my high school in college years thinking, "I've got to have a skill. I've got to know how to do something." It was a formative lesson for Crystal. I was 16 years old and I said, "I'm going to be a financial advisor." And so once I graduated from high school, I got accepted to college and chose finances my major

and was off from there. During her last summer of college, Crystal was at home in Southern California, working as a server at a restaurant. One day, a new guy showed up at work. There was this buzz in the restaurant one day, everyone kept going,

"Oh my gosh, Sean is back. Sean is here. Have you seen Sean?" And I was like, "Who's Sean?" I finally see him over at the bar and I was just blown over. I thought he was gorgeous. He was so good looking. He was strong, tan and blonde and muscular.

Sean quickly became one of her favorite co-workers. I was a waitress. He was a bus boy. And like if I was just standing at a table with a cup or a plate in my hand,

he'd come up and take it from me. He would never let me walk all the way to the dishwasher.

He was her type and he caught her attention. An all-American boy and a former college athlete. He attended a private college and he was on their baseball team. He was the pitcher and I was impressed. And then I learned that he was a math major and I was impressed by that too because I thought,

"Well, you can't fudge it on being a math major. I respected it." Chris Lanchon spent the whole summer flirting. When night we all decided to go out after work, we had been dancing all night and we had been hanging out with our other friends from work and we were kind of bar hopping and there's a little bench outside and we were sitting on it and he just kissed me.

That led into us having this really cute, fun, almost magical relationship that first year. Chris still still had a year of college left. She drove the hour home every weekend to spend time with Sean. I would race down after school on Friday and it would just be like, "Oh my god, I missed you. It felt like every weekend was a vacation." Every time she was around Sean, I was totally smitten. He was different.

I had never dated anybody that I thought was smarter than me, but I thought he was smarter than me. After she graduated from college, Crystal turned her attention to her next goal, getting a job. She'd gotten her degree in finance and she wanted to be a financial advisor.

all the major firms on Wall Street. Then, she found a firm who gave her a chance. But she would have to work for it. They said, "If you can open 25 accounts and bring in $500,000 in assets, then we'll put you into our actual training program." And I said, "Okay, fair enough, I worked my ass off and I was able to get that done within four months." And so I got hired. The firm had a branch in her and Sean's town, but before she started working there,

they sent her to New York City for a training program. Sean and Crystal have been dating for two years, and Sean visited her in New York when he could. They would do New York for the weekend, as tourists. At some point, we were up at the top of the statue of Liberty like in the crown,

“and that's where he proposed to me. I quickly said, "Yes," and I can remember saying,”

"We can get married when, next week, or a year," he said, "whatever you want." She planned their wedding in six months. Everything was falling into place. I felt totally sure. I love him. He loves me. We're starting life together, and I was really in a happy place in my life. Her wedding day was picture perfect. It was lovely. Beautiful. I was happy to be married, but it just felt like, of course, I'm getting married. Like, this is

what I do. It's my plan. This is a day that's supposed to come. It's here. Let's do it. Next on the list. We got married in January, and by that June, we purchased our first condo. It started us like building our life.

“Sean's dad owned a used car dealership in town, and he got a job working there.”

For Sean's career would be temporary. Early on, the couple made an agreement. When they were ready to start a family, Crystal would be the breadwinner, and Sean would stay at home with the kids.

Neither of us believed in daycare. So, he had always said he'd be happy to stay home with them.

And I just thought to myself, "Wow, great!" That lets me have my career, but I could still have kids knowing Sean would be a stay-at-home dad when the time came, allowed Crystal to focus on building her career. The stock market opens at 6.30 a.m. West Coast time. It was my job to manage people's portfolios, to figure out what a client needed, what their goals were, what their risk tolerance

“was, and invest appropriately. You either make it or you don't, and so I always liked that aspect”

that the sky was the limit. Her husband supported her career wholeheartedly. Sean, literally from the time we first met, he seemed so proud to be with me. He just loved that I was ambitious, and that I knew where I was going. I'd close some new account and I'd come home, and he would be just as happy as I was. We would totally celebrate together. They were a regular couple in their 20s, spending weekends with friends,

that even joined a rex-off ball team together, which was especially fun because Sean could show

off his college baseball skills. We played every Wednesday night, and then we would always go for

pizza and beer after. It gave me a chance to watch him be amazing, because he really was athletically amazing. He could run faster than any other man. He could hit the ball further, I was like, wow. I know he loved me, and I loved him very much. That was the base of everything. At home, he was affectionate, doting, and for a while, things were really great. Living together, she began to notice they had two different approaches to conflict.

I'm the type of person if I'm mad at you, I'll tell you right now. But one minute later, I'm fine. It's out. It's over. But Sean would do things where let's say he got off work at six.

He wouldn't come home until like nine or ten or whatever. And he finally was just like

stroll through the door, and I'd go, what the hell? Why are you late? And he would be like, well, do you remember last Wednesday when you said such a such to me? I've been really mad about that.

Two years into the marriage, one of their cars broke down, so for a week, Crystal and Sean had to

“share a car. They both needed it to get to work. Crystal started her job at 6.30 in the morning.”

She would take a break around 8.30 to pick Sean up and take him to his job at the dealership. Within just a few days, the car became a source of tension. Every day, he'd say, come pick me up. Let's say 8.45. And I would get there, and he would still be in bed, or still in the shower. Whatever it was, he was nowhere near ready every day. And I had had it. I was pissed. I didn't like how he was just so dismissive of my time.

But one day, the fight over the car became something different. We got in a big fight over it. Eventually, we get in the car, and I'm driving him to work. And we're still fighting. He's in the passenger seat. Next thing I know, he took his left hand, it was in a fist, and just sort of

"bocked me in my eye on my cheek." And I just was reeling. I pulled the car over, and I'm trying to get my head together, trying to figure out

which has happened. I had never been hit before by a man in my life.

“I just remember thinking, "Get him to work, and then you're on your own. You've got the car.”

You've got the safety of the office. Don't provoke him anymore." I just shut my mouth, not fighting anymore. She had an instinctual reaction, which was to stay calm and get him out of her car. Once she was alone, she knew what she had to do. Get back to the office, call the police, call an attorney, call my mom,

this is huge, and my marriage is over. That is what I did. I told everybody, and I hired divorce attorney, and filed a police report, "I did everything I ever said I would do if a man hit me." When Crystal got home that day, he had broken the whole sliding glass door. But Sean wasn't home. He'd been arrested for assaulting Crystal. She wanted to be far away from him,

and I got a restraining order. By the end of that day, he was not allowed to come in the house. They were separated for some time, about a month or so went by. Then, Crystal got a call from Sean's dad. I respected his dad very much, and he was telling me how devastated Sean is. And how this was such a huge wake-up call for him. He knows he did wrong. His dad kept saying, "You're a part of this family. We love you." Sean's already going to anger management classes.

I remember thinking, "That's great that they have such a thing. It was court ordered, and it just seemed official." This was 1998 when court ordered anger management was still new.

This was Crystal's first time learning about it, and she was relieved to hear he was getting help.

Despite what Sean had done, anger management sounded like it was just what he needed.

“I really thought that could be the key to us getting back together. After talking to his dad,”

she was open to hearing Sean out. She wanted his apology. I was willing to talk to him on the phone. It was trying to get a sense of if he understood how bad what he did was. He really seemed like he was sorry and he did wrong. I thought, "I love him. He loves me. I love him. All he needs is a little bit of help to figure out why he did that, and we can still have our life together."

But she wanted to let him know he'd messed up, and he would be held accountable for what he done. I slowly let him back in the house. It took two or three months. We had our divorce proceeding in everything. I dropped everything. Accept what I did not drop was the actual police charge.

So he was prosecuted and pled guilty, and that did go on his record.

“And the consequences he faced were long lasting. He was on probation for three years, and I felt”

sufficiently satisfied that he was getting that help he needed, and that we were going to be okay. That moment in the car felt like an outlier and there otherwise steady relationship. There's not like an infidelity issue. There was not even a jealousy issue. I thought that was good.

We'd never thought about money. He was not a drinker. Never took drugs, didn't smoke.

And I just thought, that's a great foundation for a good marriage. And we loved each other. Over the next three years, they slowly rebuilt trust, crystal felt grounded in her relationship with Sean. I just heard thinking,

“we should start thinking about having kids, and it was part of my plan anyway. So the following January”

of 2002, I went off the pill, and we started trying to have a baby, and I got pregnant immediately. Crystal was thrilled. I couldn't wait for Sean to get home and tell him in person. Like I call him immediately, and I'm like, I am pregnant. He was happy. He was so happy. Sean and Crystal found out that they were going to have a boy. They felt really connected through her entire pregnancy. He's treated me great. It was a very sweet time in our relationship.

And in 2002, their son was born. Sean was there. He was crying and loving and proud of me and cheerleading and being perfect.

“Their son became their whole world. That's when Sean quit his job, and like the”

couple had planned, became a stay at home dad. He was home with the baby, and I was on maternity leave for like four months, and then I went back. I thought our plan was working out pretty well. But once he quit working, something changed in Sean. The whole thing about putting me in my place and the past of aggressiveness and that kind of stuff seemed to pick up a lot. When Sean and I would fight, it would be bigger.

Things would escalate further than they ever had. It just got to a different level after our first son was born. Like one time, a fight got so intense that Crystal had to escape to her neighbor's house. And he followed me. He comes in there. He grabs me. He opens their fridge and takes milk out of the fridge and just pours it all over me right in front of them. He had humiliated her in front of her friends and he didn't care. Crystal felt exposed because up until this point, she'd been

living with Sean's escalation in private. After I took Sean back, I never told anyone of my family

that my life was anything but perfect. Part of it was not even just protecting Sean, was protecting my own ego. Crystal wouldn't dare engage Sean after an explosive fight. She'd wait for him to cool down, but sometimes that would take days or weeks. I wasn't happy, but I felt like I could tolerate a lot to keep my family together for my kids. Like I could put up with the bullshit. Incidents like this started happening more frequently, and often times

Crystal will get the police involved to help de-escalate the situation. Never did I get physically assaulted. It was just like more scary stuff. And I called the police a number of times. Things went on like this for two years. And then Sean's dad got lung cancer and died a month

before our second child was born. And it sent Sean into deep, deep depression. He was playing

video games all night, and then he would sleep all day, even though he's the one home with the kids. Crystal was doing everything she could to hold their family together, but it was getting harder. As time went on, I would throw out the divorce word pretty often just because I would say I can't live like this. My intention in doing that was to hopefully have him go well. Oh my gosh, I don't want to lose her. I better straighten up. Crystal was still in love with Sean. She wanted

for five years. Shit was happening more and more and more. And finally, it gets to the point

“early fall of 2007. Something happened. We got in a fight. After the altercation, Sean looked”

the house. He didn't come back for days. Crystal had no idea where he was or what would happen next. Eventually, he showed back up. And when he came back in the house, he was different. So calm. It was like he had been meditating on this whole new plan to keep me in line. He came in with intent. He tells me that he is sick of me calling the police on him.

He is sick of me threatening to divorce him. And that is all ending now. That's never going

to happen again. And if I ever do it again, he's going to kill me. He was serious and it was terrifying. I believed him. I had never felt so helpless in my life. Usually, I could come up with a plan. I had no plan. That decisive planned out person who's got her act together found herself in a box. I'm Lori Siegel, a longtime tech journalist. And consider my new podcast mostly human, your bridge to the future. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app.

And it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future. And we're going

to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. What I come to realize is that when

people think the day of dating these AI companion, they're actually dating the companies that create this. We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations in human history. And let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you. But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly human, we'll show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook, so you can benefit. The reason I say agency is because like

“if you can give power back to people, then I think that's part of the best thing we can do for your”

mental health. Listen to mostly human on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You know Real Doll, the writer who thought I'd Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy? Was this before he wrote his stories? I'd must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Real Doll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary controversial life. His job was literally to

seduce the wives of powerful Americans, and he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either.

Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, because that was a spy. Did you know Doll got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Play poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a Congresswoman. And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney, an Alfred Hitchcock, before writing a hit James Bond film. How did the secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever,

“and what darkness from his covert past, seeped into the stories we read as kids?”

The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to The Secret World of Real Doll on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why hasn't a woman formally participated in a Formula One race weekend in over a decade? Think about how many skills they have to develop at such a young age? What can we learn from all of the new F1 romance novels suddenly popping up every year?

He's still smelled of podium champagne and expensive friction. And how did a 2023 event called Wagged Getting change the paddock forever? That day is just seared into my memory. I'm a culture writer and F1 expert Lily Herman, and these are just a few of the questions I'm tackling on no grip, a Formula One culture podcast that dives into the under explored pockets of the sport.

In each episode a different guest and I will go deeper into the wacky misshaps scandals and sagas both on the track and far away from it that have made F1 a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to no grip on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

From I-Hard Podcasts and best case studios, this is Worshack, murder at City Hall.

“Could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that!”

July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest. Both men are carrying concealed weapons and in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead. Oh, no! Eh, not everybody in the chambers of dogs, a shocking public murder. A scream, get down, get down, those are shots, those are shots, get down.

A charismatic politician, you know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon, and I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was effective, but flat now.

That may have been not have been political, that may have been about sex.

Listen the Worshack, murder at City Hall on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. After Sean lost his father, he mentally started to unravel, worse than before. Verbal abuse was a constant in the Harris household. When things escalated, Crystal would often call the cops.

But after one particularly explosive altercation, Sean left the house. And after a few days, Sean came back with a clear message. He was in control, and if she challenged him, he would kill her.

“I remember just trying to play it cool at first, thinking maybe he's still really mad.”

But whenever I went to revisit it, days later, weeks later, months later, and just say, like, you didn't mean that you're just mad. He would double down on it and say, no, that is what I mean. So Crystal fell in line. She avoided doing anything that could upset him.

I thought I'm going to be so nice to him. If I'm so nice to him, how could he be mean to me? But then, he said, "The meaner I act to you, the nicer you act to me." Anything she did to try and regain control backfired, she needed support.

For the first time in my life, I start going to church,

because I am out of answers, I have no plan, I feel helpless. Crystal leaned on the church and its community. There she felt less alone.

“A few months later, the church was hosting an Easter icon.”

Crystal wanted to take her sons. They were five and two at the time. I begged Sean to go to this thing with me. It's like the kids will have so much fun, do it for them, and he did not want to go, he finally super begrudgingly agreed to come.

The whole time, Sean was miserable. He would wonder off or snap at her. What was supposed to be a fun holiday event, ended up being really stressful. After the event, Crystal and Sean were pulling out of the church parking lot. Crystal sat in the passenger seat exhausted with the two boys in the back.

Sean is starting to flip off these cars and stuff. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed because these are people I go to church with. I just said, Sean, do not flip these people off. And I had a snow cone in my hand, and I was looking out the passenger window. Next thing I know, the whole thing just explodes because Sean's hand has come across and

whacked it out of my face and hit my face a little bit too. And then he takes his finger and he puts it right in the soft part of my throat like right in the front and he just starts pushing really hard. And I'm trying to back up, but I'm crying and I'm yelling and I'm telling him to stop and my son is diagonal from me and my other son's behind me and hearing all this, the oldest one.

He's telling his daddy to stop. Nothing had ever happened in front of the kids before. And I just realized at that moment how delusional I had been thinking that I could keep any of this under control. She needed to get out, but she was afraid for her life.

And now she was afraid for her kids' lives. In that moment, crystal-mated decision, I'm gonna buy a gun. That's my way out to get out of this marriage and stay alive because I knew he would come after me. Let's say I called the police that moment like that night. I truly believed that he would just be out the next day and come and kill me.

I felt like I could not make any moves for safety until I had that gun.

Crystal wasted no time.

“I went that very same night. I still remember walking into this gun store,”

thinking that I cannot believe this is my life.

I can't believe this is my life. In California, there's a 10-day waiting period between purchasing a gun in taking possession of it. So for Crystal, it was just a matter of getting through those next 10 days. Once she did pick up the gun, she would take her and her boys and leave Sean forever. But within a few days, Sean started threatening her again.

She wanted evidence of the threats and violence against her, in case she would ever need it in court. This was 2008 before iPhones were mainstream.

Crystal had to be resourceful.

I thought I'm going to need proof. This is happening to me. So I decided I was going to get a tape recorder. As a note for listeners, Crystal is about to describe an instance of graphic domestic violence. If you'd preferred not to hear this, you can fast forward three and a half minutes. And so we get to Friday and I get home from work and he immediately says to me,

“"I can't stand to be around you. Either you need to leave or I do."”

I still had my high heels on and my business suit and my nylons and everything and I just was like, "Okay, fine." Crystal decided to give Sean some space. She went up to her bedroom. She'd stay out of his way for the rest of the night. I had just gotten in bed and next thing I know, he comes strolling in the room and wants to have sex. And I said, "No, no, we're not having sex."

And he starts in on me like, "Well, we are married, aren't we?" And then he starts saying, "This is not up for negotiation." I can remember a flood of adrenaline going through my body like, "Oh my god, what is happening?" I'm not able to talk my way out of it. He's 220 pounds. I was 120 pounds. I couldn't hurt him if I tried whereas he could kill me.

And as I realized I'm not gaining out of this, I remembered I've got that tape recorder nearby. I couldn't physically stop this from happening but I could at least have proof that it was happening. And so I started big and him to let me go to the bathroom.

And it took me a little bit but he finally let me go to the bathroom.

And as I came out of the bathroom, I stopped at my underwear drawer and acted like I was getting something out and I hit that play and record button and then I closed the drawer and then I decided to just try and act like, "Maybe you didn't mean what you were saying before, I'm going to go check on the kids." I was just trying to get out of there, put this off in some way shape or form and he got super mad that I didn't come back to the bed.

Then I tried to leave and he jumped over the bed and grabbed me by the arm and warmthed me upside the head and started choking me and pulled me back to the bed. He raped her that night. When he's finished, I'm thinking he's maybe going to feel bad. I don't know. I'm walking to the bathroom to clean up and get a hold of myself and I'm still reeling from my happened but I said something like, "I can't believe you just fucking raped your own wife."

He comes into the bathroom and he hits me again upside the head and he's like, "Don't fucking lie to me." I kept saying, "Okay, I'm sorry I was confused." Okay and he's like, "You're not confused. I'm going to carve that on your head when I dump your fucking body in a ditch."

“And he even starts to taunt me about calling the police. He's like, "Are you going to call the police?”

Go ahead. I wish you would. Please do. Give me a reason." Later that night, she checked the tape recorder to see if it had captured anything. The audio quality was shit but it was there. Not only did it catch the rape on tape, it caught his death threat but caught everything. I kept it like it was the most precious jewel ever. I didn't leave it anywhere in the house. It would go with me wherever I went.

Now Crystal had proof. This was a serious escalation in violence. Wednesday was five days away

I'm just going to be super nice to him and just get to Wednesday.

“The next day I take the kids to Lego Land. That day was fine. I had no interaction with Sean.”

Sunday, I took the kids to where my mom lived and visited with her and that was the first time I told

anyone what happened because now I have a plan. Like now I can tell her this is what's been happening to me but don't worry. I've caught it under control and so of course she didn't want me to go home to him that day but I said I have to just have to play along until I get this gun on Wednesday. And she agreed. She went back home and went to work on Monday. The day passed without much interaction between her and Sean. I want to mention here again that Crystal is going to

describe a final escalation in violence. If you'd prefer not to hear this, you can fast forward a minute and a half. Tuesday, I had a long day just in the office and when I got home at like 6, 6,

“30, he just started in on me immediately. Like, where have you been all day? What have you been doing?”

And he tells me that he was tracking my phone that day and that I'm a fucking liar and he just put his hands around my neck and he started choking me so hard and so long and he would not let go. I kept having this thought process in my head like, is he trying to kill me? Is he going to accidentally kill me? Either way, I'm dead and his eyes were black. He did not care at all what I was saying. Nothing I said mattered. He raped Crystal again. This time he was even more violent than

before. He finally finishes and I just remember getting up completely naked and just walking like a

zombie almost to the bathroom end just getting in the shower and crying like the most time I've

“ever cried in my life because I just couldn't believe all this happened to me. I also had like a”

complete revelation which was, I'm not going to die if I leave. I'm going to die if I stay. Crystal was right to believe that her situation was life threatening. A report from the journal of the emergency medicine in 2008 shows that strangulation is one of the strongest predictors of future lethal violence. Victims who have been strangled by a partner are 750% more likely to be killed by that same partner. Crystal was violated, almost died. Sean seemed unbothered. As if it was

any other night, he logged on to play video games with his friends. Sean was playing this online

role playing game called World of Warcraft. He always played on the third floor wearing headphones,

so Crystal hoped he wouldn't be able to hear what she was doing. He thought I was going to bed like normal. I put pillows in the bed, then I just walked out the front door. I went all the way out of our gate and I hid in some bushes and I called 911. I'm Laurie Seagull, a longtime tech journalist, and consider my new podcast mostly human, your bridge to the future. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur, anyone can build an app,

and it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future and we're going to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. What I come to realize is that when people think the day of dating these AI companion, they're actually dating the companies that create this. We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations in human history, and let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model

hallucinates a story about you. But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly human, we'll show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook, so you can benefit. The reason I say agency is because, like, if we can give power back to people, then I think that's probably the best thing we can do for your mental health.

shows. You know Roll Doll. The writer who thought I'd Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy? Was this before? You wrote his stories? I musta been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Doll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters

of his extraordinary controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful

Americans, and he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. Okay, that was a spy. Did you know Doll got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Play poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took a sound to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney, an Alfred Hitchcock, before writing a hit James Bond film.

“How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever?”

And what darkness from his covert past seaped into the stories we read as kids? The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Roll Doll on the iHeart Ladywap, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Why hasn't a woman formally participated in a Formula One race weekend in over a decade?

Think about how many skills they have to develop at such a young age? What can we learn from all of the new F1 romance novels suddenly popping up every year? He's still smelled of podium champagne and expensive friction. And how did a 2023 event called WagaGetting change the paddock forever? That day is just seared into my memory.

I'm a culture writer and F1 expert Lily Herman, and these are just a few of the questions I'm tackling on NoGrip. A Formula One culture podcast that dives into the under-explored pockets of besport.

“In each episode, a different guest and I will go deeper into the wacky mishab scandals and”

sagas, both on the track and far away from it, that have made F1 a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to NoGrip on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 10-10 shots five city hall building, a silver 40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene. From iHeart Podcasts and best case studios, this is Warshak, murder at city hall.

Could this have happened in city hall? Somebody tell me that! July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest. Both men are carrying concealed weapons, and in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead. And everybody in the chambers of dogs, a shocking public murder.

A scream, get down, get down, those are shots, those are shots, get down. A charismatic politician, you know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon, and I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was a victim of flat down.

That may have been not been political, that may have been about sex. Listen the Warshak, murder at city hall on the iHeart Radio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. After surviving multiple violent attacks of the hands of her husband Sean, Crystal knew she needed to act quickly.

That night, while Sean played video games, Crystal snuck out of the house, hid in some bushes in her neighborhood, and called 911. I had left the door unlocked, and I gave him permission to go in,

and I told them where he was, and they just went up there to the third floor and arrested him.

Crystal called the police at 9 p.m., but her night wouldn't end until noon the next day. I was with police, and we were waiting on search warrants, and we were getting the kids out to my parents. I had to go to the hospital that night for a sexual assault rape test. After finishing the medical exam and filing a police report, Crystal's attention turned to her kids.

They'd been home during both attacks, but they were in their bedrooms. Crystal was confident that they hadn't seen or heard the attacks, but they had been in the car a week earlier after the Easter egg hunt. Immediately, when I'm back with them, I tell them the truth.

“Because here's the thing, my son who saw Sean hit that snow cone out of my face,”

and kind of choke me, kept saying, "Are you going to do something?" We need to call the police, but I kept telling him, "Mommy has it under control, so this is now like a week and a half after that, and now his dad's in jail, and I just linked him.

And it just made complete sense to him. He was like, "Okay, yeah, I shouldn't have hurt you."

“Then, Crystal had to tell the rest of her family and close friends what she had been through.”

My dad was just devastated. Everyone just couldn't believe the way that my life had been for so long. With Sean and Jail, Crystal felt relieved, but she was surprised to find that there was another emotion. "Greath."

I made vows to this man. I spent my whole adult life with him. I made children with him. I actually mourned for quite a long time after he was arrested. The life I thought I was going to have with him. In order to cope, Crystal threw herself into work. Work was keeping me sane, and things were so crazy every day at work.

Crystal had always been the breadwinner in her marriage with Sean. She managed the family's finances.

So when Sean's bail was posted, Crystal was the one in control. When they first arrested him, I canceled all of his credit cards. So it made whatever was in his wallet not work. Because I thought his bail would probably be like 25 grand or 10 grand or something. He had like a million 350 bail. I felt safe with that.

“Sean's criminal trial took multiple years. The worst thing that happened during those two and a”

half years is Sean finally did make bail. He's living with his mom. He becomes a cab driver.

While they waited for the criminal trial, Crystal and Sean were duking it out in family court

to negotiate in custody of the kids. And on top of that, Sean was demanding money. Sean wanted spousal support, and we haven't had the criminal trial yet. And so my word is the only evidence in the case at that point in family court. The judge rules that, yes, there was domestic violence and rape in this case, that's just one factor though. And the bigger factor is that I'm the breadwinner and it would be sexist if I don't

order some spousal support for the husband. I was just so outraged. I remember leaving court that day. Sean passed me in the car and had a number one sign like he's the winner. He rubbed it in my face. He was like a laugh when we got out of the courtroom. And I kept saying, he's a violent rapist.

According to the family court judge, Crystal would have to pay the man that raped her. Violated her. The man that almost killed her. At the next hearing, the judge ruled on how much Crystal would pay Sean in spousal support. Sean normally would have been awarded maybe $3,000 a month. But because of the domestic violence finding in this case, the judge said, I'll knock that down to a

“$1,000 a month. And I remember someone saying, what is that? The rape discount?”

And not only did I have to pay him spousal support, I also was ordered to pay half of his attorney's piece. Another $47,000. Crystal knew this wasn't right. Survivors shouldn't be forced to pay their abusers around that same time. I had happened to see a date line where a woman in California was ordered to pay spousal support to the man who was convicted of attempting to murder her. This woman had to pay the man that wanted her dead. But instead of accepting the ruling,

she had worked to change the law in California. Crystal thought that survivors of spousal rape deserved the same protections. And it got her thinking. The next time she was in court, I can remember saying to the judge, I said, if you order me to pay this, I am going to get the law changed. And he was like, you're going to change the law? When Crystal sets her mind to something, she gets it done. She got to work right away. I went to my local assemblyman.

And when I went into the office, I said, I'm a constituent of yours. And I just told them what happened. After hearing Crystal's story, her local representatives agreed the law needed to be changed to better protect survivors. They began the process of writing a bill and sharing Crystal's story with other California lawmakers. Every single person that we talked about it to would just be horrified and stunned to find out that this could even happen to someone that they could

Almost immediately, there was like 20 different lawmakers that had their name on this bill.

“The district attorney also agreed that this law should be changed and volunteered to write the law.”

The fact that the district attorney wrote the law, and it was backed by the entire California District Attorney's Association, lended us a huge amount of weight, but the process of introducing the new bill and changing California law would take time. While Crystal and Sean's

family court case dragged on, Sean's criminal trial finally began. Crystal gathered all the

evidence she had, including the tape recording of Sean's violent attack. I don't know what I expected. I kind of maybe expected just to go in and be like, here's the tape and ask me whatever you want, and just have them believe me during the trial. Crystal discovered a horrible truth. When you are a rape victim, you are on trial too. Your cross-examined and every move you made, every decision you made, is scrutinized as much as his.

Crystal thought the trial would be quick because she had a recording of the attack, and on that tape, Sean could be heard making explicit threats against her life. The recording was played in her trial. The fact that I taped what happened to me, just for that same reason I'm thinking, God, how is anybody going to believe this? It just was like, wow, in 2008, it was just not done. Nowadays, everybody tapes everything, as for Sean's legal defense, what's the only defense

you can come up with if there's an audio tape? Oh, we were role-playing, of course. You know, that's his defense that he goes with. Their defense was so insulting to me. Sean was facing three very serious charges. He was charged with four-storal

copulation, spousal rape, and sawdemy. When the verdict finally came down, the jury only found

him guilty on one of those three charges. The jury convicted him of the four-storal copulation, which is on tape. But the jury was deadlocked on the two other charges, sawdemy by force and forceful spousal rape. Even though those acts were caught on tape, too, the jury wasn't fully convinced, so the court ultimately dismissed the charges. I was mad, I was mad at that verdict. It raises the question. If Crystal hadn't recorded the attacks,

would there have been a trial at all? Because she was married to her rapist, Crystal felt like the courts treated her case differently. After the verdict, he was sentenced to six years

“for the crime. And I remember thinking, what am I going to do when he gets out? Because like”

it all starts again. My fear of him killing me, my worry for my kids, everything. It just will begin again. She started thinking of ways she could protect herself when that day came.

And so I got a security protection train German Shepherd. He was amazing. That moment on,

I knew I was safe. Like between all the other stuff I had, but the dog, like I knew Sean couldn't be hiding in my house. It finally gave me peace of mind. Sean would be locked up for five years. While he was still behind bars, she worked hard to change the law, so she wouldn't have to pay him spousal support once he got out. In 2012 after a year of lobbying, California passed a bill which introduced exceptions to spousal support payments in cases of spousal rape.

The bill of protects spousal rape victims whose abusers have been convicted in criminal court from being financially obligated to their attackers. Crystal was instrumental in getting this legislation passed. She told her story again and again to help lawmakers understand. If they can't put a face to the bill, it doesn't mean anything for some reason.

“Like you can't just introduce this in theory. Like this could happen. No, you have to be like,”

no, it happened to her. And she's sitting right here. At the end of it all, I'm so proud of what I've done and what I've been able to get done. But the story doesn't end there. Six years after Sean's release, Crystal got a call from the district attorney's office. The deputy district attorney was sort of like, "I'm so sorry to bother you. I know this might be upsetting, but I wanted to let you know that Sean Harris has been arrested."

After Sean got out of prison, he was arrested for raping another woman and sexually abusing

how dangerous Sean was. She was in rage that it took him harming two other people for his violence

to be taken seriously. He is a fucking criminal rapist and he did it to someone else.

“But here's the thing, when Sean was arrested in 2021 again for the same crime and charged with”

five felonies in that case. This time, he was sentenced to 100 years to life because the conviction in my case was in the record. It all counts. If Crystal hadn't pressed charges or hadn't documented his crimes, Sean's sentence could have been much lighter. You have to get it on the record. Abuser's, they don't stop. They're going to keep doing it and they're going to get worth they're going to escalate and they're going to get caught and you need to have it on the record

all along the way so that they can finally get what they deserve like Sean finally has and he's sentenced to 100 years to life. That sentence gave Crystal a sense of relief to live the rest of her life without fear. I'm not sure I would be where I am mentally today without that because there's just this

level of I would never, ever have let my guard down if he was out, ever. And that's just a hard

way to live. Crystal never expected to become an advocate for survivors of spousal rape and domestic violence. At this age of 53, I just have a compassion that I didn't have when I was young.

“Life is hard. I've learned like everybody has something and it's shocking how many people have this.”

Have domestic violence or some aspect of domestic violence in their life. After she left Sean, she needed a break. She wanted to prioritize herself and her kids. So she decided not to think about dating until her kids were at least 18. I ended up going 12 years without dating. In 2020, I let myself go on a dating app for the first

time and I met an amazing man. We're married today and he could not be a better person.

In the past few years, Crystal has been thriving. She and her husband lived together on a beautiful hillside in Southern California. We've got 10 acres and built a custom house. We can see all the way to the ocean. All the city lights below. It's amazing. I feel like the life I have today is everything I sacrificed and planned for years ago. We end every episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

I loved him. I wanted everything with him and the fact that that same man is the one who made me so afraid for my life. That's the betrayal. I feel like women are not that well-served by the common advice that's given of just just get out.

“I feel like that's too simplistic. You have to have a shield of some sort when you get out and that”

shield is documentation. You have to think like a chessboard. Think all the way to the end. I just feel like women need to hear that. They're not told that by the official sources because it's a little bit counter to safety sometimes. You could get her doing the recording. You could get her by staying long enough to get the documentation and it's like not the legal thing to say. But I'm just telling you that's what you need. If you are victimized the way that I was and the way

that so many people are, you should not be the one who is living in fear. On the next episode of The Trail Weekly, we pull out of our house. We get about two blocks from the old house and he looks at me and he says, "I think I'm getting ready to be arrested." Within seconds of that coming out of his mouth, the squad card lit us up and told us over.

email us at [email protected]. That's [email protected] or follow us on Instagram @betrayalpod.

“You can also connect with me on Instagram @itsandrayagunning. To access our newsletter,”

view additional content and connect with the betrayal community, join our [email protected]. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple podcasts and don't forget to rate and review betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Patrial is a production of glass podcasts, a division of glass

entertainment group in partnership with iHeartPodcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy

Glass in Jennifer Faisin, hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning. This episode was written and produced by Olivia Hewitt and Monique LeBord, with additional production from Ben Fetterbent. Casting support from Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Cringcheck. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio, additional audio editing by Tanner Robbins. Patrial's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by my music.

And for more podcasts from iHeart visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Seagull and this is mostly human, a tech podcast through a human lens.

“This week an interview with Open AI CEO Sam Altman. I think society is going to decide”

that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products with that out in the world. An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future. My highest order bit is to not destroy the world of the AI. Listen to mostly human on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Ready for a different take on Formula One? Look no further than no grip, a new podcast tackling

the culture of motor racing's most coveted series. Join me, Lily Herman, as we dive into the

“underexplored pockets of F1. Including the story of the woman who last participated in a Formula One”

race weekend, the recent uptick in F1 romance novels and plenty of mishab scandals and sagas that have made Formula One a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to no grip on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. A screen get down, get down, those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that

may or may not have been political, that may have been about sex. Listen to Worshack, murder and city hall on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2023, Bachelor Star Clayton Eckard was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctor this particular test twice in selling stress? I doctor the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern, two more men who'd

been through the same thing. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is LoveTrap.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to LoveTrap podcast on the

iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.