This is an eye-heart podcast.
Guarantee human.
Tomorrow night, our 2026 eye-heart podcast awards
are happening live in South by Southwest. This is the biggest night in Pod Pastig. We'll honor the very best in Pod Casting from the past year and celebrate the most innovative talent and creators in the industry.
And the winner is-- Creativity, knowledge, and passion will all be unfolded display. Thank you so much. I heart-rate, yo. Thank you to all the other nominees.
You guys are awesome. Watch live tomorrow at 8 p.m. Eastern 5 p.m. Pacific free at feeps.com or The Veeps app. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the on-purpose podcast. My latest episode is with Hillary Duff,
singer, actress, and multi-plattener artists.
You desire in family like this picture.
And that's not reality. My sister and I don't speak. It's definitely a very painful part of my life. And I hope it's not forever. But it's for right now.
Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roll Doll. He thought I'd really want her in the BFG, but did you know he was a spy?
“In the new podcast, The Secret World of Roll Doll.”
I'll tell you that story and much, much more. What? You probably won't believe it either. Was this before he wrote his stories? I'd must have been.
OK, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, it was a spy. Listen to The Secret World of Roll Doll, on the iHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Amanda Knox, and in the new podcast,
doubt the case of Lucy Letby. We unpack the story of an unimaginable tragedy that gripped the UK in 2023. But what if we didn't get the whole story? It's just been made to fit.
The moment you look at the whole picture, the case collapsed. What if the truth was disguised by a story we chose to believe on my daughter? I think she might be innocent. Listen to doubt the case of Lucy Letby on the iHard Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is a bonus episode of Betrayal. For this bonus episode, we'd like to share more excerpts from the survivor's group discussion, because these women, Ember, Natalie, Stephanie, and Saskia
had so much more to say than we could fit in one episode. This discussion was moderated by a professional. Having conversations with survivors is really near-endier to not just my heart, but to reins heart. Megan Cutter is the Chief of Victim Services at Rain.
The rape abuse and incest national network. Rain has been working with us throughout season five. Healing is not a linear journey. It's not a straight line. So I want to talk about that concept with all of you,
and would love to get a sense of like, how do you define healing for you?
“And I think this can be a conversation of like,”
how this feels, how's this show up? So let's talk about healing. I think that's the hard part. There's no like a rival. That's Ember. It's been two decades since she found out
her then fiance was drugging and raping her. If you had asked me 20 years ago, I would have been like, yeah, by 20 years in. I think we all better not even think about this anymore. I wish it was something where we could just flip a switch
and never think about it again.
My capacity has changed though. My ability to not judge myself. That was a huge thing that I had to get over was like, why am I not better? So I went internal with a lot of it for a very long time.
I still think of it almost every day, but it doesn't take my feet out from underneath me. When I think about it. Ben, another survivor, Natalie, jumped in. Like you, Ember, I'm going on 12 years.
“That's how long it's been since Natalie found images”
on her son's iPad of her husband assaulting her. I remember they're being a time years ago where I'm like, no, I'm fine. Like I can totally handle this. I can deal with it.
I'll just keep this inside and shove it in a little box and it's fine. And it's not because days would pop up, and I'm like, I'm really not fine. I think, you know, we all share this common feeling
that I don't know how to fix my life after it's completely blown off like this. That's Stephanie. She shared her story in season one of Betrayal Weekly. After 23 years of marriage,
she found intimate photos of herself on her husband's laptop,
It was very empowering for me to share my story
through the Betrayal podcast and the best part
“of what came out of that is that the podcast”
producers connected me with Saskia, who is my absolute soul sister.
Back when we first met Saskia, we immediately saw the parallels
between her and Stephanie's stories. So we connected them via email. Email threads eventually turned into long phone calls, which gave way to a deep friendship. Stephanie even flew out to visit Saskia in Maryland last summer.
They watched TV together, went on walks, and when one of them felt overcome with grief or anxiety, they didn't have to explain because they both understood. Here's Saskia. You know, to see how strong Stephanie was through this gave me more of the,
you know, what I'm going to see that I can be a survivor, that I am a survivor, and that I can help other people with this. We can make sure that nobody else feels as alone as we did. I feel like I'm in really good company. And now to have Natalie and Amber also to join this terrible sisterhood
that no one wants to be a part of is just really, really powerful.
“Like the other survivors, Saskia's effort to rebuild her life is ongoing.”
One thing that was so hard for me is that this was seven years of my life, where I thought that I had a wonderful, has been a wonderful family. And I didn't know what to do with those seven years of memories. We had to not only deal with being raped, but also having our whole lives as we knew them fall apart. I wouldn't wish that on anybody, but I think it allows us to kind of build back up
and take some of our control back. But I think an esoteric part is to gain more confidence, be more aware of our needs and our wants, right? I know I've learned that you do have to be a little bit selfish in life just to survive.
And I always thought that was a bad word being selfish, but I think being selfless, you know,
really enabled me to be taken advantage of.
“I think it's a matter of not selfishness, but self preservation.”
I have learned and I see that in you, also Saskia, we have finally figured out that we need to prioritize ourselves, our feelings, and taking care of ourselves and not just everybody else. Tomorrow night, our 2020 six-eye-hard podcast awards are happening live in South by Southwest. We'll honor the very best in podcasting from the past year and celebrate the most innovative talent and creators in the industry. And the winner is...
Creativity, knowledge, and passion will all be on full display. Thank you so much. I heart rate you all. Thank you to all the other nominees. You guys are awesome. Watch live tomorrow at AP and Eastern 5P and Pacific free at feeps.com or the Veeps app. Hi, this is Joe Winterstein, host of the Spirit Dutter podcast, where we talk about astrology, natal charts, and have a step into your most vibrant life. And I just sat down with a mini driver.
The Irish traveler said when I was 16, you're going to have a terrible time with men. Actor, storyteller, and unapologetic, aquarium, visionary. Aquaries is all about freedom loving and different perspectives. And I find a lot of people with strong placements in Aquarius, like our misunderstood, a son, and Venus in Aquarius, in her seventh house, spark her unconventional approach to partnership. He really has taught me to embrace people sleeping in different rooms
on different houses in different places, but just an embracing of the isnness of it. If you're navigating your own transformation or just want a chart-side view into how a leading artist integrates astrology, creativity, and real life, this episode is a must-listen. Listen to the Spirit Dutter podcast, starting on February 24th on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcast. I'm Clayton Neckard, and in 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
Unfortunately, it didn't go according to plan. He became the first bachelor to ever have his final
Rose rejected.
But what happened to Clayton after the show made even bigger headlines?
It began as a one-night stand, and ended in a courtroom, with Clayton at the center of a very strange paternity scandal. The media is here. This case has gone viral. The dating contract. Agreed to date me, but I'm also suing you. We're such far. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. This season, an epic battle of he said she said, and the search for accountability in a sea of lies. "I am done nothing to get pregnant by the
f*** grassland." Listen to Love Trapped on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Rolldoll, the writer who thought I'd Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFJ. But did you know he was also a spy? "Was this before? He wrote his stories? I must have been." Our new podcast series, the secret world of Rolldoll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary controversial life. His job was literally to seduce
the wives of powerful Americans, and he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either.
Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, because it was a spy. Did you know dog got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Play poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman, and then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever,
“and what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids?”
The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Rolldoll on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Right around the same time Sasuke reached out to us, Jizelle Pelaco's story was gaining international attention. Jizelle is the woman in France who's husband, drugged, and raped her over the course of a decade,
and invited dozens of other men to do the same. Megan Cutter, the facilitator for rain, brought up Jizelle's case with the group. When you see stories in the news in the media over the last year or so, we've seen a lot of conversation about Jizelle Pelaco and her story, what's the impact of seeing a story like
“Jizelle's in the media or hearing on the podcast a story similar to your own?”
I felt like the Jizelle Pelaco's story has been really important in bringing awareness to the whole world that there is such a thing as marital rape, marital sexual abuse. That's Stephanie again. Her country gave her the privilege of having her anonymity, but she still went forward to
bring this abuse onto a national, international spotlight, which was just amazing.
Here's Denver. I go on TikTok, social media, Instagram, and I can come across just in my scrolling so many counts of people talking about sexual abuse, and it's like, okay, people are talking about this in the public square, where that was not the case 20 years ago. But is it where it needs to be? No. Let's not just pet ourselves in the back as a culture and say, look at us, we've become so much better at this. It's like, better doesn't necessarily need good, you know,
and what more do we need to do? Then Natalie brought up another high-profile sexual abuse case.
“One that saw polarizing public reaction. When you sat in the media, I remember Bill Cosby”
and it was listening to that and just listening to commentary from people just being so angry and wanting to stand up for those victims and trying to educate people on how wrong it is. Bill Cosby was America's dad, but in 2014 and 2015, more than 60 women came forward accusing him of drugging and raping them. The victims were torn apart in the press and online. Many were accused of making these allegations up for fame or financial gain. I didn't realize at that time,
but I feel exactly what those other victims were feeling and being labeled as that is just something shameful to carry people give their opinions and sometimes it would just be really hard because, you know, you just have to sit there and kind of take it. We talk a lot at rain about the myth of the perfect victim. We think a lot about this myth on betrayal, too. How it contributes to
Some survivors being perceived as more sympathetic, believable.
The perfect victim, they weren't drinking, they were using drugs, they remembered every single
moment of their abuse and they remembered it in order and they went right to the police and they said, "I need help right away and there's idea of what someone quote unquote should do when the experience sexual violence, which is not at all aligned with how trauma works in the brain, how abusers function, and like it's not real. And when someone doesn't match that idea, there can be judgment, there can be shame, there can be a lot of putting something on the survivor.
Have there been moments when you all have questioned your own experience because of the expectations put on you by that perfect victim dialogue." When you look at like the perfect victim,
I was not a part of your, I wasn't out drinking regularly. I didn't have a fake ID. I never did
drugs even with that. Those deemed unnot incredible witness by the first two police officers that I spoke to. And they're like, "Yeah, your testimony won't stand, you know, the DA won't pick this up.
“If I don't remember things in a linear way. It's so frustrating. I wasn't somebody of ill repute.”
It didn't make any difference in my case." Then Saskia spoke. She knew firsthand what it meant to be held to that perfect victim standard. She lived through it in her divorce case with Mike.
I feel like he was given every grace, every opportunity to just shit on me,
my mental health, my substance use and abuse. We've been so traumatized already to have to then put your life on display and talk about your vulnerabilities and defend them. I couldn't have expected the nightmare. Saskia did conform to the perfect victim narrative in at least one way. She rushed to report Mike. Her abuser, the moment she realized what was happening.
“But I think back, and if I had my wits about me, maybe I would have chose more self-preservation,”
right? I had two step daughters and as soon as I discovered what happened, they were pulled from my lives and the lives of my kids. My kids had to see me falling to my knees, so I have guilt for some of the things that I did to. You know, I don't think that I'm better than anybody because I chose this path. We all have to give ourselves grace for our choices and what we had to do to survive. I'm sitting with what each of you have shared and talked about and I think it's reminding me
survivorship is not a monolith, right? And I imagine for people listening to this too to hear that there are different ways to navigate this. We'll hopefully make them feel like whatever way they're trying to stay safe is okay and is right and is valid. My last question is if there's a survivor listening to this, what is it that you wish for them? My wish and desire for you is that you would know that you are a loved, that you deserve safety and kindness and compassion exactly as you are right now.
I want any victims survivor of this to know that she did nothing to cause this and the shame is one hundred percent on the perpetrator and you're not alone. Carrying that shame is really what kept me from a lot and it really isn't. You're sick
“carry. It's not our sick carry. I think I would share that it's not what happens to you.”
It's what you do with that and how you respond to it that shows the type of person that you are and that's possible to have something so tragic happened to you and still have goodness and hope and not let anyone take that away from you. For resources on sexual violence, visit rain.org/betrayal. That's R-A-I-N-N.org/betrayal. You can also get free confidential 24/7 support through rain's natural sexual assault hotline. Just text hope to 64673 or call 1-800-656-Hope.
You are not alone.
story, email us at [email protected]. That is [email protected] or follow us on Instagram
“@betrayalpod. To access additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community,”
join our [email protected]. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. Don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of glass podcasts, a division of glass entertainment group, in partnership with iHeartPodcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass in Jennifer
Fason. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Leah Jablow with
additional production by Caitlin Golden. Our supervising producer is Carrie Hartman. Our story editor is Monique LeBord, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producer is Olivia Hewitt. Production management by Kristen Melchieri, additional support by Curry Richmond, our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crine Check. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins with additional editing and mixing by Matt Talvecchio. Special thanks to Saskia,
her friends, and family, and special thanks to Will Pearson and Carrie LeBordman.
The roundtable discussion was led with the help of rain. The rape abuse and incest
national network. Thank you to our facilitator Megan Cutter and to Angelina Marcano for her support. Additional thanks to Jennifer Simmons, Khaliba. The trails theme is composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by my music. For more podcast from iHeart is at the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Tomorrow night, our 2026 iHeartPodcast awards are happening live in South by Southwest.
We'll honor the very best in podcasting from the past year and celebrate the most innovative talent and creators in the industry. And the winner. Creativity, knowledge, and passion will all be unfold display. Thank you so much iHeart Radio. Thank you to all the other nominees, you guys are awesome. Watch live tomorrow at 8 p.m. Eastern 5 p.m. Pacific free at feeps.com or the
“feeps app. You know roll doll, he thought a bully Wonka in the bfg, but did you know he was a spy?”
In the new podcast, the secret world of roll doll. I'll tell you that story and much much more. What? You probably won't believe it either. Was this before he wrote his stories? I must have been. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. It was a spy. Listen to the secret world of roll doll on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the on purpose podcast.
My latest episode is with Hilary Duff, singer, actress, and multi-platin artist. You desire in family like this picture. And that's not reality. My sister and I don't speak. Definitely a very painful part of my life. And I hope it's not forever. But it's for right now. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Clayton Eckard in 2022. I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
“But here's the thing. Bachelor fans hated him.”
If I could press a button and rewind it all, I would. That's when his life took a disturbing turn. A one-night stand would end in a courtroom. The media is here. This case has gone viral. The dating contract. A great aid me. But I'm also suing you. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
I'm Stephanie Young. Listen to the love trapped on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.
