Chloe Bailey: Relationship Red Flags & Redefining Success

And it's been a very long time for us to go to the UNUG's brand, which is a very important part of the world.

We're in the same club and my friend was the one who said, "Look, there are some portal. Gofautenia is a secret." And that was the point. What I could tell is that the family has been in the club for a long time. There's also a hotel, a hotel, a hotel, a hostel, a hotel, a hotel, a hotel, a hotel, a hotel. The last week in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, where we can now have the chance, but the chance to have the chance to find someone to buy.

Start the Dining Spenden auf Ruf nach heute. In nur wenigen Minuten auf Gofantme.com, Gofantme.com, for Dining Spenden auf Ruf. This is a bette Anzeige von Gofantme. Chloe Bailey, welcome to Colorado. I'm so happy to be here with you. I have been so excited to meet you. We, I feel like as a collective to the world, kind of became like, okay,

knowing of you at, when you were 13 years old. That is young. Very. You're 13. You're singing covers on YouTube. You're going viral. And then casually you and your sister, like, have Grammy nominations underneath your belt, like casual. And then you also have a complete successful solo career. Thank you. And you're an actress. And you're doing it all. So I'm excited to talk to you.

I'm so happy to talk to you. Thanks for having me. Also, I realize that this is going to come out.

“I think on your birthday. Oh, my birthday.”

Just my first. Oh, my. I'll be 28. Like 28. How are you feeling? Eating it down. Okay. Is that what we're calling it?

Yes. 28. I'm even getting myself a cake that says 20. 80. It's telling how we're feeling. I'm feeling really good. Okay. Before, like, top of the year, I was like, "Ooh. I'm getting a little up there." But I'm like, "You know what? I am feeling really good. I've been working my ass off."

And I'm like seeing the fruits of my labor, but I'm also realizing what's important and what's not. And what makes me the happiest. And I'm feeling pretty good. I'm healing. I am doing self work. So this is like a birthday celebration. Yes. Yeah. Also, I love how you're like, "I'm getting up there."

28 is so young. But I'm two years from 30. And 30 is not old. I know, but I'm 30, 30, and thriving. I get it. But we convince ourselves that we're old.

“Yeah. And then you sit with your parents or something.”

And you're like, "Oh, I still have a long way to go." I feel old when I watched the reality TV show. Uh-huh. I come 22. I'm 21. But I feel mentally 21.

Okay. Even 19. Well, you look perfect. And then you know, make up. I look like 16, 15 people are like, "Oh, you're so kind.

I was on real day off shopping." And she's like, "Your mother raised you so well. How old are you?" I'm in high school. I was like, "I'm 27." She goes, "Oh." And that, it happens all the time.

It's so crazy how women we just, it's like the understandable concentration on what age we are. And then like, it slowly is nice. I will say, "I remember when I turned 30 and I was like, "Okay, actually everything, I'm alive, I'm breathing.

Everything's actually feels like it's still only getting better." It's just a good sign because we think, as we're getting older, we're like, "It'll decline." But it's only like getting better. Yes.

Do we have birthday party plans? So I really want to be in St. Lucie from my birthday and I'm obsessed with the water. I'm a water baby. I love the ocean. I love swimming. And I haven't jumped off a boat in a long time.

“So that's what I will be doing when this comes out.”

Jumping off boats. Yes. And then I'll prove pictures if I actually didn't. Perfect. Okay, I know you're some of that kind of manifests. Is there anything we're manifesting for 28?

Just to be a better human being. Anything that... You know, because hurt people hurt people. So anything that might be in the tuck somewhere I want to get rid of that.

That's what I want to do. I also love how I feel like you are someone that when you manifest, it happens.

Because you basically manifested

getting signed to be on say's label at a young age. And it happened. Let me tell you, I wish I had my positivity and confidence that I had when I was younger because it's true.

Anything I put on my mood board, any like I would tell because I was like number one be high. I would tell Halley I would tell everybody we're going to be the first artist signed to be on say.

And she used to say, "This is how you know I'm true be high." She used to say, "I was going to sign a boy band and I was like, "No, she's going to sign us Halley." She's going to sign us.

We're going to be the first.

And I would just always say that.

And literally it happened. And then it happened. And then I even put Grammys on the mood board.

I had because I loved Atlanta. I put so many different things have come true from those. And now as we get older, we kind of get a little jaded.

We kind of erode away little by little. So of course, self-doubt creeps in. But if I had, you know, the belief that I had, I'm sure a lot of things would come quicker.

Do we still have a mood board to the set? Oh yes. I got more for like artistic vision. Okay. Okay, aesthetic.

Yes, aesthetic.

Like I made like six or seven for my third album

that hasn't come out yet. But like I already knew what I wanted it to say. And so I was with my family. It was over like holiday break. And I just had like 15 magazines.

And I was just, it's nice. I need to go up and make a mood board. Also to anyone else, like go home, make a mood board.

Like put Beyonce on it. Oh yeah. Like maybe. And just looking at her whole body, like, confident.

Yes. You need to go back. Okay. That's not the first time you met her. You're three years old.

Which is this like kind of a crazy story. You're three years old. And you played a younger version of Beyonce's character in a movie. So technically you met her when you were three. Yeah.

Do you? Because I know three is so young. Do you have any stories that anyone has told you from that time in your life on set? I faintly remember.

I have a pretty good memory from when I was that eight. Which is weird. But for me, there was one of my favorite like yellow pink sunflower dresses. That's what I worked at the audition.

It was my very first audition.

So I was three when I auditioned and we shot it in July.

“And I think it was like a couple days away past my birthday.”

So it was like top of July. That's what I remember. And I remember I used to hatements, right? So I started at the top of the scene. And I had a little cute boyfriend on the steps at the top.

And I hated men's. So we had to wrap him in strawberry candy for me to continue filming. That I remember how discuss it. I was with the men's. I remember Beyonce picking me up and holding me.

And I remember fan-girling because I loved Destiny's child. Then I remember at the rap party because I had a little fighting temptations camera. They gave everyone. I still remember it.

She was dancing at me at the rap party. Picked me up. Swung me around. Then I remember. Sorry.

Now I'm five. Now I'm five. And my baby sister, Hally. She was three in my sister's guy. I think she was.

How old was she at the 12th? She even had a black strappy dress. So I remember specific details. And we went to crawl. Well, my sister crawled and I.

But mainly her. She started it to go CB.

“And I think she had like this diamond dress on at the premiere.”

And my sister's baby locks got caught in her hair. And dread. No her dress. Yes. Those I remember specifically.

And I will never forget. You have a really good memory. Yeah. So after that moment. Your 10 and your sister's eight when you guys start uploading.

Cover's to YouTube. Who's idea was that? It was our older sister's guys. And any like we were seeing around Atlanta in our church dresses. At clubs, at venues.

Anything we could be at. And this was around the time when Justin Bieber was popping on YouTube. I think Grace and Chance was popping off of YouTube. So sky was like, hey, maybe you guys should post up on YouTube. And you know, other little people around Atlanta were like, yeah, that'd be a good idea.

We were always like, no, no.

And of course, best day I never had came out. We were seeing it around the house. We were like, this is the one. This was around the time where we had to burn the instrumental on a CD. We had to put it in a stereo.

It was red and black. Plug it in, put it in there. We had the camera. Sky had to press play with her toe while she did the camera. And since tonight, we put on our dressy ass shirts.

Because we're showing up and showing out on YouTube. We ended up having to change it to more simpler tank tops. And that is the rough imaging that you see of Chloe and Halley really doing the thing. The video I watched him again this morning just so I could like relive it. And the videos are so precious.

And it's so OG YouTube. It makes it even better. Like, I forgot how just genuine and organic the internet used to feel. It really felt like just a home video, right? And then your cover of Pretty Hurt gets 23 million views on YouTube.

And maybe more importantly, it gets Ms. Beyonce's attention. It's crazy. What do you do? I was freaking out jumping up and down screaming. We get a response.

They were like, "Bect." So maybe it took about a month. We ended up seeing be in a warehouse. And this and I, it was dark.

“I think she was shooting some commercial.”

It was dark. She was in this white jumpsuit. Look like an angel. And you know, she saw the picture that we had when I was four. And I think she's like early 20s.

And yeah, she was like, "Oh my gosh." And it was like a sign. And then she told us before she wanted to sign this.

And she was like, "Mom, I already did."

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And you can never please everybody.

So I mean, of course, there are groups,

“like all groups that you all have your favorite or whatever.”

But it was, it hurt us sometimes, like, when we'd see certain comments, like, Hallen and I would talk to each other, like, "Oh my gosh, is this true about me?" And then she'll say, "Is this true about me?"

And we'd be like, "No, it's not." And it's like, "We'd have to uplift each other." I mean, even today, like, they'll say, "I do too much." Or like, my sister does the opposite,

or things like that. But that's the beauty of us. We're, like, fire and water. Did they ever go for it? Was it just, like, career?

Did they ever go for your looks? Or your, "Yeah." I mean, we're two black girls with locks in the industry. It's not, I mean, now it's becoming more mainstream, and I'm really happy to see that I really am.

But, like, it wasn't cool to be young black with short little locks. Like, I remember sometimes being in school, like, it's funny. There's a self-portrait of me. I was four, and we had to do a self-portrait.

And I drew myself, like, I had, like, the straight ponytail. And I'm like, "Clo, now I can laugh at it, but it's funny how we see ourselves when we look at our friends.

“And we're like, that's what I'm supposed to look like.”

That's what I'm supposed to be like. So we definitely have to pull our self-confidence from inside because it wasn't that accepted. And even, like, when we would go on auditions, when we were younger in Atlanta,

our acting agents would be like, "Oh, you know, "you might get more roles if you have regular hair." So we even invested in getting these terrible, lace fronts, like, really curly wigs. And I remember I even went to school orientation in it.

And they were like, "Oh, my gosh, your locks." I said, "Yeah, I combed them out."

Then a week later, it was first day at school,

I was back with my locks, and I was like, "I put them back in." Now, it's so funny. But, yeah, those are different things we went through. And I remember I went through a time. I think maybe 18, 19.

Before I started really styling my locks in different ways, I was like, "I want to get rid of my hair." Like, I want to switch it up. But then I got introduced to wrapping my locks, 'cause I won't ever dye it,

'cause it'll kind of break them off. And like, adding hair and things like that, and I love my locks. I'll never change them. Oh, well, first of all,

I'm so sorry you had to go through that because you're right. Like, hearing that also from young kids your same age. I cannot imagine being in a position

where you are authentically showing up as yourself.

Something you're like, "I can't control this." Little children, that's what gets me. Right? And then to look for a solution because had those people not gotten involved,

you would have just still thought, "I'm beautiful." And I'm with my sister. And when I'm in my household, I feel so confident. Like, that's the part when you're a child

and you're put into those situations with other peers. It starts to be this horrible, self-doubt that you have.

And you're so critical of yourself.

And it takes a really long time, I'm sure, to then get to the point where you're like, "Wait, maybe I am okay as I am." Yes. You don't need outer validation.

But it doesn't make it easy to get involved. Because you're growing up thinking that your self-worth is dependent on what you can do and what you bring. Do you think though it made it easier

“having you and your sister be together in that situation?”

We clung so tight to each other and we weren't alone. Like, we weren't going through the criticism, even the positivity alone. Like we were rejoicing together. And we had a partner to celebrate with.

And even cry with. I'm also thinking too about, you know, coming up like you're having such success because you're naturally talented. And then I do feel like we hear about this often.

Becoming in this industry. Everyone wants you to have a very recognizable image. Right? And you're talking about like, as a young black girl,

like, I'm trying to figure out who I am. And then add on also being in the entertainment industry adds another level of complexity because everyone's going to try to change you. Regardless.

So it's like, how did you, the work through the essentially dichotomy of like, merging to worlds from already struggling with something? And then it blowing up even more as people are like, we need you to look like this.

We need to pose like this. I think the care and the love for the art overshadowed all of that.

“So the joy that we felt when we were creating the joy”

when I'd be nerding out by my computer with my beats to like four in the morning in like our garage studio, the joy of listening to it back. The joy of knowing that we did have fans because at this moment we're very underground,

like we're like two black indie girls at this moment. So the joy of that, the love of it, that is what overpowered it all. I also love what you know, we're saying where you have people comparing you.

And this is your sister and you're like, we're so different but in the best ways that's what makes us us. And then eventually you do decide to go and explore a solo career.

Was there any part of you guys that had conversations of like, what will the world think? 'Cause are we almost like, is this gonna feel more rumors?

Yeah.

So the funny thing is that it was never planned.

And we're not broken up. We're just like on a cute little hiatus. Yeah. And my sister booked the little mermaid as Ariel. Yes, she did.

And she had to move to London.

“She ended up filming it for about three years”

because it was in the middle of COVID. We had our album on God. The hour done. We had the visual shot and everything. But we didn't have a release date.

So then Siss went off to London and we didn't know when we'd ever put out the project. So COVID happens. She comes back home. We get a release date.

So then we started doing tennis court performances and everything during COVID. And on God the hour kind of took our group to the next level. So it was never planned in that time to like kind of go like that.

But of course during the pandemic, it's hard to travel. I couldn't even visit her in London after that because of all the travel restrictions. So I'm just with my little beat machine in my bedroom.

Just making ideas. You know, I'm not with my other half. So I'm like, okay. This is three years. I'm like, okay.

Had that been the longest you'd been apart? Yeah. Okay. We wouldn't even spend a week apart. And when she first went to London,

I went out there with her for two months. Because she's like, Chloe, I don't think I could be without you. So I went out there and any time she'd go to set, you know, with rehearsals.

I'd work out with her in the morning with her trainer. And then I'd be in her trailer the whole day while she was rehearsing. And I'd just be making beats in the trailer until it's time for her to come and we go home.

Yeah. And the days I didn't go, I would do soul cycle. But that was like maybe once or twice.

But I would always go to set with her.

Just so she knew I was there when she'd come in for lunch. Things like that. You are such a writer die. That's when the idea came out look at, okay, I'm making all these ideas.

Maybe I shouldn't just put it out. Because I'm just like, like, building and accumulating all this music throughout three years. So this opportunity for this, like, it was Juneteenth actually.

Juneteenth is a special time for me. I mean, anyways, come to think of it. So I wanted to do a cover of Feeling Good Benina Simone. I love Nina Simone. I always have this little girl.

I think that's where I get, like, my lower tone register in spoke from her in Tony Brex.

So, you know, me with my little electronics. I did it from, you know, I wanted to use my background. It's almost like a synth. And of course, heavy eight awaits. Got to have that.

It's a little weird alternative. I turned it in there. Like, oh, you want to do this late night performance of it. I'm just like, sure. Yeah, we didn't have a place for the late night performance.

So this would have been my first performance without my sister. I'm like, hold on way to minute. Now, the two of us between the two of us, I really love dancing.

Like, all of our on godly our performances and everything. Because we couldn't see a choreographer. I would come up with the dance moves. And I'd teach it to her. So we had like our little dance studio in the house.

“So, I was like, okay, Chloe, what am I going to do?”

So I was like, I want to dance for this performance. So I practiced. I even sprained the left side of my neck because I wanted to really just do whatever the heck on the floor. I was like, let's just do it.

Let's just go all out. And, you know, I shot the performances. And we didn't really have a place for it. And they're like, oh, well, it's going to go on the Juneteenth special.

I think it was NBC. One of those like, new slons. I'm like, because it was a little, you know? But at that moment, it was already shocked. Money had been spin.

You're like, I was like, I'm still proud of my performance. Yeah. It was meant for late night. Yeah. It wasn't really meant for like daytime television.

The, the bombs in America. Yeah. Yeah. But I was like, it's already done. So it airs.

Huge up, bro. That's just so sexy. My job fully closed.

“But yes, I was giant right in the round.”

I'm not going to lie. It's not for daytime television. But you know, I'm moving. I was just really giving it my all. So it made this huge up-row online.

And I'm like, whoa. And anytime I would post, you know, myself or my body or anything like that, they would freak the heck out. And I was like, why? At this moment, I think I'm 21.

Like, I'm like, I don't get the big deal by everyone's freaking out. So there's performance freaked everyone out. I was getting so much shit. So much. I ended up getting this beat because I was posting my beats on my Instagram at the time from murder beats.

He DM me. Yo, let's make some beats together. I was like, bet.

Mind you, I would never answer DMs because there are a lot of creeps up in there.

So I'm like, but he was really about the music. That's how I got Metro's contact too. They were really about the music. So murder has to be about 10 beats at the time. He sent me this one.

Booty's so big. Lord at Mercy. I'm like, who I like this? I'm even getting chills talking about it. I still remember I was in my car listening to it.

I turned it off because if I hear it, my mind will immediately start coming up with creative ideas and it won't shut off. So if I know I like a beat, I'll turn it off until I'm ready to create. And I was like, I really want to talk my shit on this. It's talking about booty so big. But I don't really know if I had the balls to write like that yet.

So this guy, Tyron, amazing writer, has written so many hits. It was our first session together. It was me. I'm in my engineering comes in.

“And he's like, where do you going through right now?”

And I ended up saying, you know, I'm really upset because people aren't letting me be me in the body that I have.

Like, first they tell me, oh, she's amazing.

She's being restricted. Then they tell me, oh, she's showing her body too much. All of this. And I was like, I really just want to use this song to just get my feelings out and talk my shit. We wrote it that day, the scratch demo.

Then I ended up actually recoding it with just me and my engineer and I added my backgrounds and everything like that. And I was like, gosh darn it, this feels really great. I knew this was the first song I wanted to put out. So all this is happening. All of what my sister is in London.

You feel a little mermaid. Yes. And you're like, so did you see that date? Yes. Yes.

So all of this is happening in conjunction with one another. So it's not like I just went on my own. You know what I mean? What did she think about the daytime television show? She was like, oh, it's great.

I love it. Yes, that moves. We're on FaceTime. And you know, she had her cute little extensions, the red.

And you know, she'd always wear a head scars because she couldn't show that she had the red hair because no one really knew what her look would be.

Just like, oh girl. Yes. It was just like that. So it was really great because at that time I'm working with Murdoch, I'm working with Metro. I'm working with all these heavy hitters in terms of production.

And I'm like, they respect my work, they respect what I do. Like, and it was my first time actually believing in myself as my own because I didn't think I had worth or value without my sister. So even now, like, because we were like this, it's you, it's like, you know your special because I can look over at my sister. And I know she has a phenomenal voice. I know she's beautiful.

But it's harder to look in the mirror and say those things to yourself. Yeah, almost like you guys had each other as this crush. Yes. That you came up in this industry together. So to remove that, you're like, wait, what am I without her?

And it's like, no, no time for you both to sort and fly on your own.

“And you're like still grabbing for each other.”

But it's like, you're getting farther away. And it's like, yeah, go to your thing. I'm going to do my thing. And we'll meet back up later. Yeah, very scary.

But what I loved about those lyrics. It was like, why do I keep Boston like I do, floss and like I do. And I was just, I was talking about shit. Like, you know, he liked my laughing tap because all these guys were online talking about my body or whatever. I'm not all my body.

Yes, that's a part of me. But I'm this nerd, really smart, funny girl. But yeah, I'm showing a little booty and what about it. And what about it? Yes.

So I was really, that's what it was. So I put that out on my birthday. It goes viral. Everyone's doing the challenge. The booty's so big.

Lord at mercy. The song isn't even out. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Because my sister and I, we weren't mainstream. We were like indie underground girls.

So I wasn't expecting much from this. Going 100,000, 200,000 videos. 300,000 first. I'm like, whoa. So now everyone's like, put it out.

Put it out. Put it out. So I put this song out through Colombia that we were assigned to, you know, in conjunction with Parkwood. And we release it. I think September 5th.

And because the song was so viral, VMA is called and asked me to perform. Even before it dropped. So I'm in New Jersey rehearsing for my very first debut performance. This is crazy.

From my very first debut performance. And the day the video drops were sitting on the ground and rehearsal.

And it like had 4 million in one night.

It was just everywhere. Hearing you talk about making a moment for yourself and going for something you love. And like, you're such a creative. You hear something you're like, I need to get, I have a vision. I want to do it.

But leaning into the commentary about your looks and your body. I think as women, it's so relatable. It's like, if I, I'm going to call it what it is. And I want to own it.

“Because you're, why do you all get to talk about it?”

But I can't talk about it. They do. Let me make it make sense. Thank you. She got a nice ass, but I can't go in the mirror and go, I got a nice ass.

So, like, why can you? It's like, everyone feels like they have ownership over women's bodies. And then accept the one who owns it. Chloe. [laughs]

Then I know. We're on something here, Chloe. No, no, no. And it's, it's so infuriating. And so I remember, because I'd written down.

Like, I remember when people called you, like, to sexy and they were insinuating that you're using your sexuality to force a rebrand.

And it's like, wait a second.

Who was the person that sexualized me in the first place? All of you. And to hear I am now celebrating. Myself, who I am, I'm coming into my own. And now it's upsetting everyone.

Yeah, I didn't know why it made such a big deal. Because I have, I'm in this skin on my life. And to be honest, like, we can like ourselves, but it's hard to really dive into the self-love thing. So for me, I just, I was confused.

I was like, whoa, what is happening? And so when that happened, it was like, almost taking something bad and making it good. And because of all that negativity, I got my first platinum single.

My debut solo single turned platinum. Yes, you did. And that's insane, because even talking about it now, that's a huge debut.

“And I think I have to remember that and celebrate myself”

in the times where I don't feel like I'm good enough. I think that is so relatable as women where we, I was talking about this with my friend the other day. Like, whenever one of us has a win, why do we not pause and celebrate?

Because the mood board has always been there.

Like, if you told young Chloe this story, she'd be like, huh? Excuse me? No, we can retire. We're done.

That's perfect. That's all we could have ever asked for. And when you're in it, it's so hard to do it. Where can I go to next? And we're so hard on ourselves.

And so the fact, yes, you could, let's take a moment right now, where it's like, look at what you did. In that moment, from that young girl on YouTube, to then having that moment with Mercy, you're like, it was crazy.

And after the VMA's performance, I just broke down crying on the side of the stage. And how he even came back from London. So she was there. All my family was there.

My god mom. My god brother. My younger brother. We were all there. And I just broke down on the side of the stage.

Because there were so many people who told me I couldn't do it, that I wasn't good as a solo artist. People that I knew personally would tell me that. And I just really didn't feel like I was worth much. So to know that I had that moment at the VMA's,

I just literally broke down crying on the side of the stage because it was like, I got to prove it to myself that I was good enough. Chloe, that makes, I mean, there's so much that you're saying that I'm like, yes, yes, yes for women. And I wonder if you have any,

just like a opinion or take now of where you're sitting and looking back on yourself. Like, why do you think people are so uncomfortable when a woman,

and her sexuality?

Because there's too much power in that.

You can control people and confine them when they don't know how special they are. You can keep them trapped in that box. It's so true. It's like, there's too, they don't want us to recognize our worth because once we do, I saw something where people like, oh, my God, the older women get.

They, although they're devaluing us, we actually only become more cognizant of like who we are and what we want. And so they act like we're only worth it, 18 and 19 and 20. When really, they know that's just the, like when we're the most vulnerable and the brink of it, right?

And so to hear you lean into your success and your power in that moment and to see it go platinum, like, that's so rewarding. I'm so, it's so crazy to think about. It's incredible. Thank you.

In the midst of all of this.

Yes. You said that being in the spotlight for most of your life made you tie your happiness to your career and your public perception. When do you think you came to that realization? Years ago, but even more so now.

Like, I'm such a huge advocate for therapy. And I say this all the time, like, we're taught to work out and work on our bodies and wash what we eat, but our mind is a muscle just the same. And we have to do that as well.

There might be some unhabits. We have to learn. We might have to figure out how to squat the proper way, mentally. So we don't hurt ourselves.

“Things like that, but I think because I started it so young,”

it's like it's rewarding when you get an applause for hitting the right note. It's rewarding when you bring in some money for this deal. It's rewarding, but that's not what's all that special about you. It took great point. So do you think a couple years ago, what was there a moment?

Or was it kind of creeping up on you? Where you're like, why am I feeling this way? I think it's creeps up on you. And even now, I'm very cognizant about it. Like, I don't think that ever goes away.

It's hard to unlearn something that has been your blueprint, your entire life. But I think when you surround yourself with people who don't need a damn thing from you, you realize, wait. You actually keep me around because you like me as a person,

not because of what I can do for you. So for me, it's very freeing,

“and I think that's when you get closer to the self-love journey.”

But what I can feel behind that right now, when you just are getting a little emotional, is it takes though realizing, oh, you're so priest of those kind of people, because you had the other kind of person in your life who was using you, or made you feel like, oh, my God, my worth is all wrapped up in what I bring to the table. And so I have to work, and I have to work, and I need to see it, and I need to see it, because if all this goes away,

all these people will go away, and then what am I worth? Exactly. How did getting stuck into that cycle a little bit of your career, and it really getting a meshed with your self-worth, start to affect your mental health?

I think when it started to affect my mental health, it was around when I, after the have mercy success, I have all these eyes on me. And I think because people were waiting on what I was going to do next, and everyone around me was like, no, we have to make sure the next one's perfect.

So even though I was creating music, we waited like eight months till I put out my next single, which if I could rewind it, I would have just kept the momentum going, because it's hard to build it back up.

So I think when I actually released my first album,

and it didn't sell the great amount that people wanted to, but it's the normal amount today. It was 10K, everyone was shunning me. I was like, oh my gosh, am I not as great as I thought? Or everyone thought like they thought I was going to be this big thing.

“So it was around the same time, the best thing that my manager,”

should make it have done was book a tour for me a week after the album came out. And that, at that time, it was kind of unheard of. No one goes on tour to tour an album, nobody knows. So as I'm on tour, as I'm in press interviews, they're like, oh, how do you feel about the low-selling numbers, all this stuff, blah, blah, blah.

But then the first night, everyone knows the song, the song's word for word. I'm like, hold on. Meant and greets, the whole tour will sold out.

Let's see this online that I see this in real life. What's happening? And I think it was really getting to me. I think it was the show before Philly.

And I always get nervous before every performance.

“This specific show, I think it had gotten to me, and I was just like, you know what?”

And that show I had no nerves. It was like, I was watching it happen in front of me in the audience, and I was watching my body and my arms with my legs, and seeing everything happening in front of me, but I wasn't there.

And I hope she doesn't mind me saying this. After that, I go backstage. She raised my manager. I call her mommy, because she's my god mom. She changed me to the dressing room in the back.

I think it was like two of the glam team were back there. She goes, looks me serious. She goes, Chloe, if I ever see you like that again, I'm a fuck you up. Don't ever let no motherfuckers take your joy from you. Something that God gave you that gift.

If I ever see you like that again. So from that day, she would always be at the front of the stage, because I was just not there. I just was like, okay, I don't feel that strong enough mentally to give off to perform songs that people say,

oh, didn't feel well, whatever blah blah blah. So that's when I attached it to myself worth. But then I was like, wait. And after that, it marked from Philly to the rest of the tour. I was on Cloud 9, and it didn't really matter.

First of all, thank you for sharing that.

“Because I think something that is really difficult to talk about,”

especially with social media these days, is what does success actually look like? And when we look at social media, we are inundated with. They got the job, they sold, they went platinum.

Or people see you in public and they go, what are you up to? Yes, you up to. Exactly. Like living, trying to be like,

get my mental health together. Yeah, like leave that alone. But there's so much that we are seeing constantly of people's wins that when you are having what you would consider. Like, oh, I actually think this would have been good.

But I guess by that standard, it's not great. And therefore it's complete failure. Yeah.

Like, we've lost the barometer.

I genuinely believe of like what success actually looks like for ourselves. And the fact that like, you're on stage. You are on tour. You are performing. That seems very successful to me.

But understandably, you're like, oh my god, but everyone had this idea of what I was supposed to be doing. Yes, but that wasn't your path at that moment. And like, and this is still a win. And I look back at videos.

And I'm like, oh my god, I missed tour. But I wish I appreciated it more in the moment because I was so in my head. And now I'm watching videos. I'm like, what was getting it?

So that's what I, now I am learning to be more present in the moment because tomorrow isn't promised. All of these moments are fleeting. I had some time to be like, oh my gosh,

I'm so tired. Press book back to back. There's something. There's nothing. It's like, oh, I missed that.

So now I walk into spaces with a different sense of gratitude. A different sense of appreciation. And knowing that this is my job. And yes, I'm happy this is here. But the same people cheering me on now.

They were quiet a month or two ago. So that shouldn't really validate me. Because it's a facade. Right, it's going to come and go. Yeah.

How do you feel? What, what makes you feel fulfilled? And when you're looking back at yourself and you're realizing, how was I not happy in that moment? Yes.

When that should have been such a great moment. Yeah.

“It's almost you have to start re-regulating how you operate and look at success for yourself.”

And I think that's applicable to everyone probably watching the show of like, whether it's your job or your family or your relationship like, we get so in our head comparing everything around us that it's like, girl, you're missing the moment. It's so true.

And I used to, this is how I know I've gotten thicker skin. I used to like crumble with people online about me, all this stuff. When people talk or have a discourse now, I'm like, thank you so much for giving me great interaction and engagement. Thank you.

Because you're impenetrable now. Yes. And guess what? You're running my numbers up. Brand see that?

Are you putting bread into my account? By talking? Oh, like, no, it's just like a comment. It's like, I'm grateful. You have me trending?

Oh, baby. Let's go. Yeah. That's how I look at it now. Like, people could be tearing my name down.

And I'm like, I'll be home and I'm like, yeah. In the past interview, you referenced reaching a point where you just wanted to say no. Can you share what you mean by that? And what was going on?

I'm a people pleaser. I don't like people being upset with me.

I just love to people, please. And sometimes when you people please, you leave yourself out, darling. And I've learned it's okay to say no. It's okay to say hell, no.

It's okay to say, hmm, I'm not feeling that right now. Maybe come back to me next week. But I think because I've been such a people pleaser all of my life, when I did start vocalizing and standing up for myself, people were like, whoa, who is this?

“And as a woman, you should be able to speak your mind”

without being labeled as the B word. Well, that's what I was going to ask you. Like, how did you navigate that? Because I think that's where all of the struggle.

Where it's like, oh, my God, she's finally standing up for herself.

And what should be celebrated is actually a lot of people who have been able to weaponize your people pleasing to their ability of, oh, my gosh, I'm getting more out of her. I'm doing all this. And the minute you actually put boundaries up to them,

they're like, she's such a bitch now. Yeah, it's like, though, if you think about it like this, they're taking rocks and pebbles and throwing it at you. And the second we pick it back up to throw it back at them is like, oh, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. And you're like, you've been doing this whole day. You're the taste of your medicine, bapes, huh? Interesting. Yes.

Did you, but did you worry though? Like, as a woman, like, they're getting labeled that. How have you navigated being more in your power and owning it and trying to not people please without fear of judgment from other people?

I just am learning to care less. It won't erase anyone's reaction. But if you care a little less, it'll get quieter and smaller and you won't even notice it. So if you don't notice it, it's invisible.

You don't see it, you don't hear it. It's a great point. Yeah. Okay, a few years ago, you talked about how hard it is

to accept love from others when you don't fully love your self first.

Looking back. Let's talk about romantic life. How do you think that affected past relationships that you've been in?

“I think to be able to properly love someone,”

you have to do the proper self work, or you will love them in an unhealthy way because you're loving yourself in an unhealthy way. So you're only doing what you know. You know, I think the hard thing too,

is like dating in the public eye. Anybody I would stand next to or be next to? Oh, this is who she's dating. This is her man. This is this.

And it makes it hard, too, and then you'll go out to events, and the guy's like, "Oh, you're with this person." It's like, "Huh, I don't know him." So then sometimes it'll cock block. And I'm like, "I'd be gosh darn it."

I feel like that's not my man. And I don't claim that either. Yeah, yeah. So sometimes that's frustrating. But what is something that you used to put up with

that you would never put up with anymore

and romantic relationships? Disrespect. Disrespect. Yeah, you're getting blocked. Oh, we're heading to the full block.

Oh, yes, I'm great at it. Give me an example of disrespect. Hmm. Like, talking out of turn, like, if you speak to me in a condescending manner,

or if I'm less than who you are, don't do that. And the thing is is that I can't get pumped out because I have my own. You can't punk me out.

But we're sitting at the same table. So treat me like a human being. It's so crazy though when I feel like when I was younger, the disrespect and like making you feel less than sometimes it's so subtle that at first you don't really see it.

And it can start to wear on yourself a steam. And then it takes you being like, wait, and it says, sometimes it takes you getting out of the relationship

“to look back and be like, how long have that been happening?”

That this person was doing this to me. But then the next relationship you get in, your antennas are up a little bit more because you're like, wait a second, this is a pattern I'm recognizing from that one and the path that just did that to me.

And I see this. And although it's familiar, and I know how to do this dance, because sometimes we can like keep repeating. It does become more clear.

The more you go through the steps. Yeah, sometimes people like to humble you. Oh, yes, they do, Chloe. And the very subtle, small ways. And it's like, is this my lover or a hater?

Oh, it's so subtle. Yes, like you can't, you almost couldn't sit here and give me an exact concrete. You'd have to put the puzzle together for you. Because on this Wednesday it was like a little comment about this.

And it was like a little comment, like my makeup that day.

And it was like a little backhanded.

But it what I thought was like, oh, and then a month later. Yep, it continues to escalate. And it's like, no. You're my biggest favorite. I keep everything.

You're full up living in my house. Yes, I'll keep everything. I might not say it in the moment, but I'll just, I don't forget, I'll calculate this. On your new mix tape.

Yeah, there's a song about catching someone cheating. Hmm. How did you find out? Let me tell you. So this has been a while ago because I've been like on my own for a minute.

Through DMs, they'll DM my god mom. Even sometimes the girls, the girls, or just a random fan. And it'll be all the information. I've seen a lash extension and I didn't have them in the, like, on the tile of the shower floor. Or like a hair tie.

This man was having sex with these women in your home. Not my home. Oh, but his home. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Excuse me. You don't have the keys. Mm-hmm.

“You're like, that's why we don't live together.”

Yeah. Hair tie. That's not my hair texture. And in those moments, Chloe, what do you do? Do you collect it as evidence?

Put it in the little bit block, or are we going on it? It depends on how I'm feeling. Okay. Okay. And when you found the eyelash, I kept it in turn and I took a picture of it.

And I texted my god mom. And she's, like, my voice of reason. Howly, she'll have me crash out. Your god mom's, like, put it in the evidence file. Yes.

Get him when he leaves. Suspect it. Or just walk away. Do you think that was the same girl? I have no idea.

But I do know I peeped it and I kept it quiet until the next morning. And then I walked in the bathroom, like, it was brand new, like I just saw it. Because I still wanted my night of cuddles. I'm that toxic. I don't know.

There is nothing better than seeing the text or seeing the evidence. And you're like, "Uh-huh." And then using it to your advantage when you want to bring it up. Because now it's on your timeline. So it's up to you.

Okay, the fact though, hold on. You cuddled this man. And in those moments, this was me.

“Looking at what the ceiling in the dark.”

You're like, he's, like, dead asleep. You're like, this is me. You're like, I thought I want the cuddles. But now all I can do is the fucking hair tie. And those lash extensions.

Like, you're the bodily get to a place where you can hold that in. And then the next morning you can front it. Yeah. Did he lie? Of course.

Oh, okay. Do not deny, do not deny. I do remember first. You did write a music in the past about wanting to get revenge by cheating back. Oh, yeah.

Did we ever do that? It depends on what your definition of cheating is. Chloe. Give me your definition. So my definition is like,

I'll just start responding to people I never respond to.

No. The literal one. And then once I'm out of it, I just won't text them back. That's my definition.

I'll be like, yeah, take that. Well, that is so relatable where you're like, watch this. And then literally wake up the next morning. I don't even answer her. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So you didn't get the rage out. Mm-hmm. I want to ask you some questions about dating deal breakers.

Okay. I'm going to give you a scenario. So tell me. You're giving this person a shot or you're breaking it. Okay.

Okay. Thank you. Your sister doesn't vibe with him. Okay. Talk in the shot.

Well, wait. Older, younger sister. Both. Okay. We don't have a say.

Even with my brothers, we don't. Like, of course, we'll say a little something, but we don't dictate. Like, we just want them to be happy. I will just peep from afar.

“Does Halley and the past had a big opinion on the guys you did?”

Of course. Okay. My sister will vocalize it louder than I would. She'll tell me. And I'll be like, oh, why do you think that I'll tell them?

She'll be like, girl, don't talk about my man like that. And do you feel like when she says things you probably go the opposite direction of her? When she's like, I don't like this and you're... No, I'll just continue on the path I was going on. Collected as evidence.

Yeah. Okay, perfect. He says, I love you a month in.

I, my first instinct is to say not.

But I am a sucker for love. And a guy has said that to me a month in and I fell for it. No, go. You got so happy for second. I was like, he loves you.

He loves you and you're like, okay, wait. I have been like, oh my gosh, it's a little bit first sight. You just have this strong emotion towards me. Of course it's real. But that's also love for me.

That is love. And then you're like, stop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is. Oh my god.

Okay, so we're like, we're working on that. He says he'd rather stay in with you than go out in public. Ah, shocked.

I love that for you.

“He doesn't introduce you to his family until a year into dating.”

Not. I'm a family girl. I want to be around your family. I don't want to feel like I'm hitting from your family. Like the public is different.

But your family then you might have one, two or three around them. It's a good point. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like a year is a little long. Like what are we doing?

Like if I don't meet any of your family within the three months. What are we doing? Yeah. He has cheated in past relationships but says he has changed. Shot.

I feel people will change for the right person.

I don't agree with the whole like once a cheater always a cheater.

I don't agree with that either. But if it's been multiple relationships, you got to keep an eye out. Sometimes. Or they just might have not been the right one. So it depends.

Okay. He won't share his location. Oh, shot. I'm not sharing my location. You're not going through my phone.

I'm not going through yours. This is the thing about me. I set boundaries for myself.

“If you give me your location, I will be looking every moment I can get.”

And I will be freaking myself out if I see you down the CVS at the street. And I'm like, oh, he's with such and such a CVS. Just don't give it to me. You're like, just help me help you. Yeah.

Don't give it to me. I'm not giving you mine. Oh, I like that. I work. I don't want you popping up on me at my place of work.

Trying to be romantic. Got it. Oh, I like that. We obviously have been referencing the mix tape. Resurrection.

Producer Timberland. First of all, congratulations. Thank you. We've been talking about success and what success looks like. But that is just like--

It's pretty freaking cool. Insane. What was the inspiration behind this mix tape? So it's crazy.

It always starts with me posting my production video online.

Have mercy. This. I've always been such a huge fan of Timberland. And even on my album and pieces, I got a missy Elliott feature.

I've never been shy of creding them to my experimenting with my production. It was around a quiet time. I was just making music and momentum was kind of died when away. And I was just-- there were Legos, making beats at home. My god, Mom again.

She goes, "Oh, I see your pictures, pictures, pictures." Why don't you show what I see you doing online? She's like, "What happened to your production videos?" I'm like, "You know what you're right, fine." So I start posting my production videos again.

I post one, you know, I'm like, "Oh, let me look for it a couple of lyrics to it." You know, I'm making music anyway. So I'll just do this for Instagram. I made this rough song called "Keep Watch It." And I post it, got like 12K comments, went around,

Timberland comments, "Oh, this is hard." Something like that. He DMs me. "Oh, are you doing something with this? I love to hop on it."

I was like, "I'm not." It was just for Instagram. But if you want to do something else, I was like, "Let's do a beat video together." So I sent him a beat.

He gave me his number. He sent me his comments later. We filmed the video. People were tripping out. He faced times me while I'm in St. Lucia making music.

Yo, so I have this idea. How about we do a project together? Would you be down for that? And we could make it just like this.

It's always like, "Yeah, keep sending me whatever.

I make music almost every day." So he'd send me the beats. I'd write to them. He'd send me the beats. I'd send it back to him.

And we made this full project even like, probably 10 more songs along with this in two months. All not in person. Oh, so you guys have just been vibing, like sending it back and forth,

and just coming up with this incredible piece of art. Congratulations. That's really incredible. Thank you. And the crazy thing is the guy who mixed my very first solo album, Chris.

I didn't know he mixed all of Timberland's records. So he was like, "I have this guy such as such." And I was like, "He was my mix from my first album." So it kind of like brought all of us back together. And he's currently mixing my third album right now.

So but everything just sonnically sounds as one. Because one is the same mixer. Two, it just was free flowing. We didn't think anything was really going to come of it. He called Shaman.

He's like, "Yo, you think we could get this dumb above off. She's like, "Yeah, she put it together." And here it is. Okay. So you're just making music every single day.

Absolutely. You're also acting. Like, you have your new movie that's out. It's strong. What can you tell us about this movie?

I shot this movie in Cape Town in South Africa for three months. And I'm really proud of this movie. Like, I'm the one who likes sitting at the edge of my seat. I love the mess. It's a little bit above all of that.

Plus music? I was going to say there is a lot of deceit and lying in this movie.

“That I feel like that's why I was like asking you a little bit about deceit and lying.”

I love it.

What drew you to the role? I loved the role of Layla. It was also the mess. I'm not even going to lie. I was gagged.

The twists and the turns. My whole team was talking about it. We were like, so then you think you know what's happening.

“And then what was the most fun part of filming in Cape Town?”

The stunts. I'm an adrenaline junkie girl.

I've always wanted to be like a superhero or just a bad, you know, like, because I love

doing the stunts. I'm going to adrenaline junkie for real. I think that was my favorite part. I think it's so incredible when I get to sit down with women. And it's like, you started in this industry doing what you loved and just doing it.

Like, I'm going to, you know, throw our videos up and, you know, your sister was like, I'll press record. I hope this works for you guys. And then to see literally you like slowly just continue to establish yourself. And yes, you've had so many high highs.

But I think what's really impressive about you is like, kind of what we talked about today, which I think is really relatable. It's like finding your balance though in the midst of the high highs or the low lows is how you can sustain in an industry like this, which clearly you are finding your way and you're doing.

And so to be an actress to be a singer to have a very famous public relationship with your sister and also to be able to both individually have so low careers.

Like, you're navigating so much and you're doing such an incredible job.

Thank you. You as well though, like, I'm so proud of everything that you stand for and the platform that you give women to speak on. And what kind of makes me feel less of like, like, oh, with my life and the public, whatever, everyone's going through shit.

Everyone has problems. And sometimes I'll hear them and be like, and I have a subset about this.

“So I think it makes me feel better knowing that when I'm walking into a room.”

I'm not the only one going through something. And it makes me appreciate people more too. It's such a good point. And if they do hurt you, you can kind of understand where it came from. And realize that it wasn't you.

It was something they were dealing with internally. Because a lot of times our first thought is, it's me. I'm a burden. I made them react this way. I'm not good enough.

And, okay, my therapist told me this before.

And I shared a lot with all my people I'm close with. Is the stepping on your toe now? Do you have you heard that? No. Okay.

If you're walking and you step on someone's toe, you don't go, oh, my gosh, I'm horrible. I stepped on someone's toe. I'm a piece of-- Right. You know, you don't go, get out of my way.

You were in my way. That's why I stepped on your toe. No, you go, hey, you know what? I'm really sorry I stepped on your toe. I can't promise it won't happen again because accidents happen.

But I really sorry that wasn't my intention. And you keep it pushing. Right.

“That's how I've been approaching life now.”

Because I used to be the person to be like, oh, my gosh, I'm horrible. Nobody likes me. This, the world is ending. So now I take life at this stepping on the toe analogy. And sometimes it's hard.

Don't get me wrong. Like, I'm mentally there, but my emotions won't catch up. Yeah, but I love it because what you're also saying, and it goes all the way back to the beginning of our conversation, was like, in you turning 28.

Mm-hmm. And in as women us just continuing to-- It's not even about getting older. It's like learning more about ourselves, experiencing more life, getting to know what we like,

what we don't like learning our voice, and how to use it. Like, we just said, like, we talked about going from being a people-pleaser to like, actually being like, wait, I can say no. And even if that makes people uncomfortable,

those people probably shouldn't be in my life. Like, there's so much that we continue to gain as we just continue to go through these experiences, even if they're hard. And I think your life and your story,

and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing today because so many themes that we kind of tapped into, I think are so applicable for a woman watching today. And just everything that you've done, I can't wait to continue to follow your career.

Thank you. I'm so happy for you. We're all going to keep following. And with the movie and the mixed tape and then the album, and like, obviously we don't know if, you know,

you and Hallie will be doing another thing together at some point. But there's so much good coming for you, and I wish I received that. Oh, I wish you the best 28th year. Thank you.

You are really going to eat 28th, 28th! Thank you for coming on Caller Daddy. Thank you for having me!