Tay Lautner: The Realities of Pregnancy

What is up, Daddy Gang?

“It is your founding father, Alex Cooper.”

We call her Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Tay Lottner, welcome to Caller Daddy. Thank you. We both just start crying.

No, no, no, no, no guys. We just got in the room together. And the pregnancy hormone, both were like, I feel so safe. Yeah.

I know that if one of us has to pee during this. Yeah. Because right now, I last-- with time I was with my doctor. She was like, oh, girl.

Like, that baby is right on your bladder. And I was like, perfect. Yeah. So it's a safe space. Perfect.

Whatever you do. I will let you know. I realized last time we were together, you and your husband came on. You guys were newly wedged.

And Matt and I weren't even married. That's kind of crazy. And now we're probably-- We were like in completely different stages of life. Right?

Yeah. And now look at us. I remember when you announced. And I was obviously so excited for you and Taylor.

And my first thought was, oh my god, I'm so happy for them.

And then my second thought was, oh my god. Our our kids going to be like friends at the lake together. Kids, I can't see them. She's crying. No, literally.

Oh, I saw-- I know. They're going to be like little-- and then a little life, little vest jacket thing. OK, yep.

OK. Next point, keep going. So I just was like, oh my god, so for anyone that doesn't know, Tay and I have lake houses like right, basically next to each other. And I just couldn't help but think like, oh my god,

it's going to be great. So summer, you're going to be by the lake. Talk to you about what an ideal lake day looks like for you as my pregnant friend. Oh my gosh, I mean, I'm feeling like I'm kind of turning

into more of a like girl than a beach girl, 100%. Like I'm really enjoying the lake. I honestly think like a really nice-- I love a sprite. So either like a crisp little sprite, with lime,

or like a cute little mocktail. My mocktail game. I have been thriving. I said the other day, when I was like, I just miss a spicy margarita and they're like,

you can make it without the alcohol, Alex. And I was like, you're so bright. What the fuck? On the rim? No, my tailer just made it's a leechie mocktail, I don't know.

He looked it up, but it's literally like a leechie soda thing. Like soda water. And then it's pineapple concentrate and frozen pineapple. With a teen rim. I also, and I don't know about you,

I've been like loving not drinking. Yeah. I will say though, being around people that are drinking, I'm a little bit more like, okay,

this is good to remind me never to drink again in my life.

Yeah, because we're taller and just like, to be around the whole thing. Okay, if you're by the lake,

“is Taylor cooking, are you cooking like, who's the chef?”

Oh, Taylor's definitely cooking. To honestly, Taylor, there's hot dogs on the grill, because I've caught dog has been my new. Hot dogs and hamburgers. The hamburgers.

Yeah, okay, what are some random cravings you've been having recently? Yeah, I think the most recent one has been Girl Scout Cookies, because I just got Girl Scout Cookies and it's kind.

I can't even let Samoa's the one with the peanut butter thing in them. Any Girl Scout Cookies is gonna hit right where we need it. Yeah. Another thing that Matt said, and I thought it was so cute,

is when I told him that you guys were pregnant, he was like, oh my God. I feel like me and Taylor are really gonna bond, 'cause I feel like we're both gonna be really good with kids and activities.

And I was like, why are they so giving camp counselor like Taylor's out there getting the boat? Like I feel like that's gonna be the vibe. They, I feel like they will completely thrive in that. What kind of dad do you think Taylor is gonna be?

We always say he's gonna be the parent

that gives the kids what they want. Like I say no, and he says yes, really? Yeah, so I'm really curious to see how that plays out if that actually happened. That's actually interesting 'cause Matt and I've talked about that.

“And I'm like, I think in the younger years,”

I'm gonna say yes, and Matt's gonna say no, but then the minute they get into like socializing in terms of like middle school to high school, I'm gonna be the one that's like psychologically analyzing like you're not going to the party because of this.

And then Matt's like, I don't care, do whatever you want. So it will flip at one point. Yeah. But for now, you think you're gonna be a little bit more of the art. I think so.

Hey, yeah, I think so. Why do I also feel like Taylor is going to teach my child how to do a back flip? Probably. Let's start with a cartwheel.

I know. Okay, tell me everything. Like when you found out what was your reaction? Yeah, so it was honestly special because so I guess before like rewinding to finding out I was pregnant,

we weren't trying. I mean, we weren't doing anything to like prevent it and had it honestly for a while. And I was just like, you know, I wasn't at the place where I was like,

I'm ready, I wasn't tracking my ovulation, anything like that. And I have PCOS, which is now PMOS, but PCOS. And so my periods have been irregular for a long time.

So like I literally went 40 days without period. And then this next one happened, and I was on day, you know, like 36. So I wasn't technically like late.

“And I wasn't really feeling anything weird.”

But I had a microneedling appointment. And you can't do that if you're pregnant, you cannot. And I was just like, let me just take a test just to be sure. I was like, I'm not gonna tell Taylor, I'm not gonna like, 'cause I had a pregnancy scare last January.

Like I fully thought I was pregnant and like cried to Taylor after a podcast sleeping. I was like holding it in for like two weeks. I was like, if I don't get my period by this date, then I'm telling Taylor and we had to go to CVS.

I did not being pregnant, but that showed me that the next morning, I woke up and I wasn't pregnant. I was like, oh, I'm actually like sad that I'm not pregnant. I think I'm ready. Took me a whole year, fast forward to the following January.

But anyways, I didn't tell him and he like went to go, he's the chef. So he went to my butcher shop to go pick up meats for dinner. And I took the test while he was gone. Peel the stick.

I go to my whole like skincare routine of like the face, like just like very in depth like everything. I don't, I like forget that the test is there. Like I'm not thinking about it because I don't think I'm pregnant. But I'm like, let me just make sure.

“- Right. - 'Cause he got our microbe to leg.”

- Yeah. - Yeah.

There can always be a chance.

And it said pregnant. And I was like, interesting. No, I literally was like froze for like five seconds. And I was like, okay. And then I Googled, can you have a false positive?

And it basically was like, no. And I was like, okay, so I took another one. And then it also said pregnant. This whole time Taylor's gone. I'm not texting him because I'm not gonna text him and tell him.

And so I'm just like sanding there just kind of in shock. And like obviously excited because I know that's, we're married and that's what we want. So I'm literally just like frozen. And he gets home.

I literally he breaks like the groceries in. I throw everything in the fridge and I just pulled the test out and handed to him. And he's just sanding there. And he's like, what is this?

And I was like, ah, he goes, how did this happen? And I was like, okay, well, you know how that happened. How did you say it to man? I know. How did this happen?

How do you think it happened Taylor? Like, well, this one day, so we didn't get to experience finding out together, which after the fact, you know, telling him it was like, we still got to like celebrate and have like, you know, four days of us just kind of like

being in shock and being like, okay, like we're doing this. So when it came to the gender reveal, I was so excited to get to like, do that together. And it truly was like the most, like the most fun thing to get to do.

I love going to gender reveal parties

but I literally could never like have one for me.

“That pressure is just like, okay, so how did you do it?”

So we literally just looked online on the test. We got the test. We actually had it for probably like, I really go weak. And you didn't look at it.

We why the minute, the minute I got mine. I was like, I want to know. - I think it was just 'cause like I don't even know. I feel like we were both kind of just like, not scared but we were just like, oh my gosh,

like it was just gonna make it so much more real. That's so true. I think, but a finding out in like saying girl on there, Taylor really wants girls. Like he's like girl dad, he wants all girls.

I was kind of, I didn't really care. But it was like truly the sweetest moment ever. Like it was like the most, like the coolest thing I think we're ever gonna get to do. Obviously when I birthed the baby, that's of course.

- Very special and probably even more special. But it's the coolest thing. - It makes me email when you're talking about this because I agree with you, there's something so nerve wracking when you're going to find out the sex.

And I was similar to you, I found out without that. And so I was in the bathroom, same thing. Like took the test, like wasn't really sure. Didn't think it was gonna end then when it happened. I had that same thing where you're like,

it's a little bit of mix of shock. And I think it doesn't take,

it takes a second to like set in.

- Yeah. - But the gender makes it so real. And I cannot believe you sat on that for a week. When I tell you, my doctor was like somewhere that there wasn't good service.

And she's like Alex, I tried to call you to talk 'cause I told her, like just call me. - Yeah. - And she's like, I feel bad, like I don't want to just text it. You know, it was like text it.

And she's like, no Alex, like she's like texty back, like no no, I can call you in about 20. I was like text it. Like you don't do it. - I was like, and so I'm laying there.

And I remember I got the document. - Yeah. - And I'm like, okay, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. Click on the document, I see the sex. And that's in a meeting.

And he's like, I've got a couple more meetings

“and I was like, do you wanna know the gender of your baby?”

And it calls me immediately and he's like, what? I'm the middle of the meeting. There's like 20 people in the room. And I was like, do you wanna know the gender?

You better get in the car. He leaves the meeting. So like, I got my racing home 'cause I was like, I'm not telling you over text. So the fact that you guys got to be together,

so, oh my god, I'm so happy for you. That's really exciting. Oh my god, oh my god, I got it. After you and Taylor found out about the pregnancy, who did you tell first?

We told, first we told to of our couple best friends.

We were actually going on a birthday trip for Taylor and I was like, very much in first trimester trenches. So we kind of had to tell them we were also going somewhere where there was like wine. So like, then I wouldn't be drinking.

So we kind of had to tell them, but I also did want to tell them because I've walked through, miscarriage with multiple of my friends. And both sides of like not knowing they were pregnant

and them having to tell me that they lost, they were pregnant and lost baby. And then the other side of finding out they were pregnant and then getting to like have that together and then them having to tell me.

So after kind of like walking through those both Taylor and I decided, I need to just tell like a couple of my close friends because God forbid, like anything does happen. I don't want to have to deliver like the happy and sad news

at the same time. So we were gonna tell them anyways,

but that's who we told first.

Isn't that so, it's so crazy, just the emotional aspects. And I think everyone has to do it at their own time. I think it's so crazy when people are like,

“you should not tell people before the X amount mark.”

And it's like, I think anyone to do whatever they want to do when it comes to that because I'm also similar to you like if something bad was going to happen, like I would want the people closest to me to know. So I'm not gonna like,

hide it in case something does but like just being open with the people you love. I think for me was also similar like of just like a mindset. Yeah. Your pregnancy announcement back in April was beyond gorgeous.

And you captioned it, what's better than two tailor lotners. I screamed when I read that caption. Who came up with that? Taylor, so like on day five of knowing we were pregnant,

he was like, I have the best caption. And I was like, great, you obviously don't have to share, but do you have a name picked out? They are definitely some, you've got some of the works. Yeah, okay.

And is it like, you've got like 20, or are you like in that like 10 to five category? Like three. Yeah, like three to five. Okay, yeah, was there any consideration

of naming your child Taylor? It may be in the mix. We will find out when the baby comes. It's also just like so much pressure naming a human. Like this is like the name of this human's got to have

for the rest of their life. And there's like so much public like conversation already around it for you guys. It's like, no, I feel like if I know a name maybe a tailor then or that's literally a good cancel me.

I'm gonna get into like you had the perfect opportunity.

“But I'm like, guys, are you really gonna want that name?”

I think you get a little confusing because it's already confusing. Right, like do we have Taylor and then we have Taylor? And then we have Tay, Tay, Junior, baby. We show, we show, that if we're having a boy,

we'd name him Taylor and call him TJ. I'm, I'm so stressed for you guys, I know. I know. I'll see.

What did it feel like, finally announcing

and sharing your pregnancy to the world? 'Cause friends is one thing girl. Yeah. And then hitting upload on that, talked to me. It was truly like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

I think I was just so stressed someone was gonna like leak it honestly. I think I was a little scarred from our wedding because our like first look, someone was like photographed us having our first look.

No. I didn't know that. Yeah, and it came out like the day after the wedding and it was like, that was the first time I'd ever experienced, obviously, you know,

paparazzi and stuff has followed us around before. But that was the first time I was really something that was so intimate and so personal, so personal. So that was like, that was not fun for me. So I think that kind of was like,

understand, it was like, it was making me nervous. Like, every time I go see my OB, like I, you know, a Taylor has come with me to every appointment. And I'm like, there's obviously like girls my age in the office.

And so I'm so happy that you were able to control the narrative and do it that way because I agree with you like you have having an experience that is it's an invasion of privacy, right? That was like a moment between the two of you

Yeah. It's not even like a shot ended like the after party.

It's like your first look between the two of you.

So pregnancy and that, oh my God, I'm so happy that it didn't get leaked for you. Let's talk about the first track master. Because I don't know about you, but no one could have prepared me.

No. And there's like, almost, give me one word to describe your first track master. Terrific. It's wrong, literally, just help.

At anything bad, tough. Yeah, one symptom I know you have talked about on your podcast is your nausea and I also had I don't even like to talk about it on those because it just brings it back.

Yeah, that nausea was so traumatizing truly. Like it felt hard to live my life while experiencing that. Can you talk to me a little bit about how it impacted your day-to-day and just overall the first track master? Oh, yeah.

“I think that, and I honestly feel like since I've been pregnant,”

I've kind of been shitting on pregnancy, but I think that's just because I had such a skewed view of pregnancy from what I saw online. Like, I just feel like it's supposed to be what I saw and what I was thinking it was gonna be,

to be like, you know, this most beautiful thing and I'm gonna be glowing and I'm gonna feel the best I've ever felt and be so confident and blah, blah, blah, like all that. I have not felt any of those things.

And it took me a while to feel comfortable to say that, but I really think 'cause the internet is just so quick to be like, oh, you're not grateful for your pregnant. Do you know how many women would like kill to be pregnant? And I completely understand that,

but I think two things can be true. Like, obviously I'm so grateful and excited to be having this baby with my favorite human in the world. But I don't like it when it's doing to my body, like it's not an enjoyable experience.

I feel like in my life I've seen so many women obviously be pregnant, right? And you see them on the street, you have friends, you have family, but nothing prepares you. And now I look at pregnancy so differently,

like when I see a woman on the street, now I'm like, I need to do something for her immediately. - No, it just changes your perspective. And I agree with you, there's so many hardships that come with it.

And it feels weird to talk about I agree because of how many women struggle to even get pregnant. So to be pregnant, there's this pressure to just shut up and be grateful. - Yeah.

- Talking about the nausea because I also was like, I don't know how women work in their first trimester.

“- No, I'm like, can the mat leave needs to be there?”

It needs to be like a first mat leave. And then maybe there's like doing months where you can do stuff at the middle and then the mat and leave needs to like, yeah, because it's like hard to do anything.

- No, my best friend is a labor and delivery nurse. And I like, I mean, I couldn't imagine still like working in the hospital having my nursing job doing this. And I'm like, she's like, my best friend's literally

holding like women's legs up as they're pushing a baby and she worked until like maybe like two weeks before she can. - Oh my gosh, she is. - And I was like, but the whole time she was in her first trimester, she was dying in the hospital and like,

she's throwing up in between like seeing her patients. And I'm like, how, how does this work? - You, you talked about, 'cause yes, there's the nausea, but then there's the hunger. You shared that you would wake up,

starving in the middle of the night. What meals were you able to have during your first trimester? And then what were you also like, repulsed by?

“- Yeah, I feel like there was a good three weeks”

where I had like food versions to literally just everything. And all I could eat was carbs. It was just like crackers, a grilled cheese, toast, and watermelon was my, that was like the refreshing, like I needed cold.

I also never drink ice water, but my first trimester,

like I just, I just like poured glass of water. I've never been like I need ice. I was like so much ice everywhere. - I would even chew on ice at times. I was like this shit slaps so far. - Yeah.

- No, I lived in my migraine cat. They was just like, I just was not present. Like you're literally just trying to get like through the day. And then it's like you can't even think about the next day. What pregnancy symptoms have surprised you?

Skin tags, the little things. I have like a couple of my neck with their tiny, like you can't see them, but I can feel them. I feel one like I was feeling one on my side today, and I'm like, what is that?

- Good to know. - No, that's apparently something they are supposed to go away. After that one, it's just like something your nipples changing so early on. I was not expecting my boobs.

I'm like, no, I'm a double-dead. And I are still milking me here. And I'm really scared. (upbeat music) You and your podcast were open about,

you have always been open about your own mental health struggles

and then recently you kind of alluded to this low moment

are you comfortable kind of sharing a little bit more about that moment? - Yeah, I'm kind of like on a mission to talk about this more because I obviously share so much about my mental health and everything I've walked through

and having PTSD and depression and everything I've gone through that. And when I talked about this,

“and I honestly didn't even like really share much,”

it was the most like DMs and messages from women I've ever received in my entire time doing the internet. Like truly, it was so crazy how many women really feel that same way and I think it's because we're not expecting our bodies to change as quickly, especially for me.

So like first trimester, I have a medaphobia and I hate throwing up, like I have a fear of throwing up. So every time I look at not just I would eat.

So I never threw up in my first trimester,

but every time I was not just I would eat. And so I gained like 12 to 15 pounds and like three weeks maybe. And so nothing fit so early on and I was just felt just like, I mean I cried.

I was like literally standing naked in front of the mirror. I think it was like about to get in the shower and Taylor was on the bathroom and I literally just started crying. So you just so recognize yourself. And I think we don't talk about this

because we're not supposed to talk about the first trimester because you're not supposed to talk about it till, you know, everything is safe and fine. But then you kind of have a median forget that that even happened

because you just have pregnancy brain and you're thinking about the future. But I mean it continues to happen to me even now. Like now that I fully like have a bump, it feels better which sounds like funny.

“But I think first along it was just kind of like fluff”

and I just like could not recognize my body. Like it was just everything. Thank you for sharing that because I agree with you that like again no one, I don't, my whole algorithm I feel like right now is pregnancy.

And there's so much that is so beautiful that I'm seeing. But I'm also like, oh my God, like I, I'm not seeing any of the more honest shit that I'm talking about with my girlfriends. You have had children who are pregnant right now

and that reality of looking yourself in the mirror and being like honestly like scared because you're like, and I'm not saying you're thinking again, like I'm prefacing it because it's like, we're grateful.

But it's like, I'm not saying that you're not saying, like, oh my God, I don't want to be pregnant. But you have that feeling where you're like, what did I do? Like this is so scary.

Like what is happening to me? And you're so, it's so out of control of your body. And you're really, are out of control with your emotions and like your mental health and everything that's going on. And it's hard like my husband's been amazing.

It sounds like Taylor's been so amazing but there's also only so much that like a man and also just someone who's not in your body can do for you. Like how has he been supportive during this time? - Yeah, no, I mean, you know Taylor.

He's literally just like the nicest human and is so. It's been, it's honestly been so cool to walk through this time together 'cause I'm, I think similar to you, like we are both like very independent people

and even even my therapist is like, you should rely on Taylor more. But I'm like, I'm just like only child. I'm like hardworking. I'm like, very driven.

I'm like, no, like if I can do it, I'm gonna do it. Like I don't want to, even if, you know, I should have Taylor do it, I'm gonna do it. So it really made me,

because I just could not, I couldn't move for a while. It really made me have to rely on him to do stuff for me. And it was the first time, like, obviously, you know, we have a great partnership. But I just, I just do things on my own.

And it was really special to get to do that with him. It was sweet. - It is beautiful to like watch your partnership evolve

in a way that you could have never anticipated

'cause you didn't know you were gonna be laid up and like down bad. And then all of a sudden you're looking at him in a different light, it really makes you just so appreciate the partner that you choose in life.

Oh my God.

“- I think that's like the one of the biggest things”

I would scream and Kylie Kelsey talked about this on her podcast and I heard it like some time last year. And she was just like, your husband is the only person in your family you choose. Like you don't choose your siblings,

you don't choose your parents, you don't choose your kids. Like you choose who you're gonna marry. And I always say like when I marry Taylor, I married him because I know he's gonna be great with kids and I know like he's gonna be like that's like I see that.

- Right. - I wanna talk about body image a little bit more because something I was thinking about is and I saw a woman post about this I think on TikTok and it made me just have an aha moment where it was like

she basically said I have never had more people comment

and it's either like oh you're carrying well or like oh my gosh don't worry like I gained 20 pounds

and my first trimester so you're like sorry you're calling me fat.

Like oh you're your face doesn't look as like there's such a commentary that people feel so comfortable. Oh the bump is this or that and you're like wait and so it's such an odd feeling where everyone feels entitled to kind of comment on how a woman is carrying.

And it's very strange not that we don't already do that to non-pregnant women but it feels heightened when you are pregnant and so I wanna talk about I know you were just kind of like alluding to like you know when you were looking in the mirror and everything

but like did you have expectations of your body and your pregnancy that ended up going very differently and like what are some examples of that for you? - Oh yeah everything.

I didn't think I was I mean I've already gained 35 pounds

so I'm like I didn't think I was going to gain that much weight

“which I don't even I think also just because my mom”

she was one of those people that you could not even tell she was pregnant and had a great pregnancy and just like from the back she was just like I wear dressed as she wore when she was pregnant with me like not pregnant like in before pregnancy.

- You're comparing. - Yeah no there's I think there's so much comparison and I still do it now I mean obviously I have a better relationship with it because the more I've been open and talking about it, the more I feel better about it but still like I just was not

I wasn't expecting to like almost not even fit in Taylor's jeans like it's just it's yeah it's just a really interesting thing my girlfriend and I were just talking about she's also pregnant I'm still thankful I have a few girlfriends that are pregnant and we're like right around the same time

and so it's been really special to like be able to like text each other like how we're feeling can we eat this? Like it is to say anyone have this happening yet so I'm so thankful for it but she was telling me how she would just something mean or other

front of both experienced of people telling her like oh my gosh I knew you're like when like after she announced oh my gosh I knew you're pregnant and like she's like oh like how and they're like I could just tell like and not get in like just commenting that she's gained weight

so it's like okay so you're telling me that you thought I like look fat yeah and it was just like so many people and I've the more I talked about this with so my girlfriends the more it actually like really does because when you start to tell people your closures snug on you so it's just like

why are we like given another like given another example like I thought me and my girlfriend Natasha we both we both knew how to feeling the other was pregnant because of the symptoms we were having we would hang out and we were both just like but like not telling the other one yet

or like it was just very similar vibes of what we were doing or we were texting about bloating but we hadn't told each other we were pregnant so we were like given example of like don't just say I just had a feeling like you looked you looked pregnant I also am kind of struggling with the glowing thing

I feel better with it now but when someone's like you're glowing I'm like now I just have gained 30 pounds and my face is fuller no no no thank you but glowing because I'm like I know my skin doesn't look great she does not look like I woke up this morning

“and I was like I think there's like five pounds of makeup on this one”

just giant situation at the right here and I'm like I know it's not I'm actually physically glowing yeah so explaining what you mean by that yeah what am I glowing why let's get into that no that's such a good point and it's it is so crazy because I also understand to anyone that's

watching that isn't pregnant it's like oh my god you're you're probably thinking like and maybe I don't know

I've never I've never made a comment about a woman's like pregnant body before

but I'm looking back before I experience pregnancy I don't think I had an appreciation for the amount that a woman is going through with her body and so I now look at those comments as a pregnant woman and before I would have been like oh she just said you're glowing like it's but like yeah but now I'm like no no no no no you what you don't understand

about a woman who's pregnant is like everything is in turmoil in her head and in her body and so for you to say anything about her physical appearance it's just even if you say like she's looking great and she's not feeling great yeah just shut up yeah but it's hard for people to not comment I feel like it's kind of like you know people don't really know

what to say if someone's grieving if there's been a loss or something

“I honestly feel like there's some similarity of if you haven't”

walked through it I also have been getting really stressed out when people are like it's gonna go by so fast and joy every moment because I had a full blown panic attack the night before our wedding because so many people like had told me they're like tomorrow's gonna go by so quick it's gonna be over and I was like

so panicked because I was like I don't want it to go by like I wanted to

I'm like like I told I think it was probably like a couple months ago I like I now have like I'm normally a very chill it takes a lot to make me mad I'm like so even kill like nothing pisses me off and now the hormones I'm like

I'm done very like goodbye I snapped a tailor for the first time last week

and I felt so bad over what literally nothing literally nothing it's just it's I know literally we were leaving my

“obese office and I hadn't had enough food I think was”

partially the problem and he's just like so sweet he drops me off and I run in and like grab the food and then I run back out to the car because it's a busy street don't where everyone he would get the he would be getting the food if it wasn't a busy street so I run and grab it and then I run back out and the door is locked and he rolls the window

down and I'm like standing there trying to open the door and he's like you're gonna need your grab your tads as I was like I did and I was like going out my car and I was like oh my gosh and he was like for the rest of the ride I'm your show for it we're not gonna talk in five minutes go by I was like I'm sorry and we also I love that that's the version of

snapping at him I did no I'm not I'm like so I'm the most you guys

tailor and I have never like been in an argue like we know like I'm just like

I just like talked to things it takes a lot to me I'm even the demonize I know I did he in it like I give like you can you can you can you're over to the way to shocked face I was thinking about that too I know and I remember when I interviewed you guys Taylor has publicly talked about his own body image struggles has he been able I know it's not

comparable but like has he been able at all to talk to you and and relate

“with you in any capacity that's been helpful in that realm yeah no I think”

there's definitely a level of relatability there even though it is something that's completely different but it is something that I've struggled with you know posting my body publicly or like how I go about that but it's really sweet I was talking about laying out at the lake and I was saying how I'm just I said something along the lines of like I'm just gonna be a big pregnant lady laying

out there and he goes no you're just a pregnant lady and I was like oh that's really nice I was like I need to talk to myself that way more I think that's honestly the biggest thing and that's something I keep trying to tell myself and every time I don't I just like smack myself on the wrist but when I see other pregnant women

I've actually never thought some like a pregnant woman was fat I've never been like

look at her arms look at the cellulite like I've never thought that and that's all I see in myself like so it's I'm really trying to like talk to me about the negative self talk and like some of the darker thoughts and then how you've been able to pull yourself out of

“them yeah yeah I just I think it's hard to because you're so hormonal and you can talk”

with people obviously I think having my girlfriends that are pregnant too has been nice to be able to talk about but there's so many things that I noticed more now and it's something that I've never really struggled with so like to this degree and so it's been just a really unique experience to try to walk through it and try to also walk through it somewhat rationally because there's no rationale I wouldn't know I went through a phase where like

I really like was not wanting to look in the mirror and I would be like if I was unchanging to like change for better something like in the past maybe I'd be like naked brushing my teeth and I was like avoiding it and I remember like I was also like really not wanting to look at my boobs like it was freaking me out just like everything that's happening and I was and it was almost like subconsciously happening and I wasn't aware and then I remember one night I was like

in the bathroom with Matt and he was coming in and I was naked and then I was like oh my god I want to go put a shirt on and Matt was like what's wrong and I was like oh my god I was about to like cover up yeah because I don't know like I just don't feel confident or sexy at all right now yeah and Matt was like oh my Alex like you're pregnant like you look so beautiful like why are you not and I and in Matt moment obviously started crying and to have my husband just be like similar

to that Taylor comment of like you're a pregnant woman that was so helpful but I need to do that more for myself is what I guess we're saying towards yeah and I also think I think to the more I've been trying to like I had that same thing and I've been trying to be naked more in front of Taylor because I'm like I need to just like I need to like accept it because I think it's also hard to and thank god my girlfriend like I texted remember I texted my girlfriend's

in the first trimester when we were like maybe starting to feel better but not and I was like is anyone having sex because I'm like I remember one of my friends saying to me like oh my god

can't even think about anything literally sorry but going inside of you while you're like everything wants to come out like the whole thing but I've had women be like put that second trimester you will

“be so back you'll be so and I'm like I don't know if that's how I'm feeling and also then getting”

comfortable I felt like with when I was then like in the mood getting comfortable with being pregnant having sex and you're like also how does this work no it's tough it's a weird psychologically aside from the body actually and like all the things that we're going through psychologically it feels like you're trying to like reattach your brain to your old brain to be like no we're still here this we are the same person it's just gonna feel very different and for me that's been like a journey

of like I felt a little bit like my brain was over here looking at myself yeah almost from like a third POV and I'm like whoa whoa we got a real line here I just have to remind myself that Taylor it's which I'm sure Matt is like the most like reassuring of everything so I honestly just have to be like brain shut up like Taylor loves me and doesn't think these thoughts that I think about myself

“that is why because I want to talk about parenting now but again that is why I think having”

a partner in your life that can be the light in your dark moments like that has been so

eye-opening to me of like Matt always been supportive and and similar to Taylor like but it's

that like added level I feel like they're stepping up in a way that is just making me be like okay I always knew Matt was gonna be a phenomenal father but like I'm not even focused on that right now I'm like whoa you are such a supportive partner to me yeah and that has been instrumental in keeping my mental health where I need it to be okay let's talk parenting yes as you are getting closer to meeting your baby have you found yourself just thinking more about the type of parent

that you want to be yeah I I feel like I've thought about this for like even before I was pregnant because I'm like I want like I don't want to be best friends with my kids but I want to be able to have like a close relationship with them and them to feel like I can come to me for anything

and as they're older even the same thing so I always like think about all the time or I talk about

like Taylor and I would be like what's parent do you think they're gonna be like annoyed at more who's gonna like do that like we always just talk about that so I feel like it's good to kind of like

“I've always been like thinking about it being aware but I mean I I think I think I'm just excited”

really excited to be a parent I mean I've always wanted to be a mom growing up I'm an only child so growing up I was like I want to be a mom I want five kids I don't want five kids anymore now honestly once I went through nursing school and I watched a vaginal birth I was like I literally went home and I told Taylor I was like I were not having children until I forget what that looked like because this is the only angle I ever want to see the receiving end is like as a 20 to

year old I think it was in schools like seeing that like I was like I was like oh my gosh didn't know it's it's eye opening you're like I didn't need to see that I would live it yeah and like just like pretend I yeah I don't want to see it yeah um I feel like I agree with you that as you get closer like you start to for me I've also started to think about like what did my parents get right yeah that I want to emulate and then what are things that I want to do

differently like is there anything from you and Taylor's childhoods that you guys are like oh we really loved how our parents did that or like oh we want to like try to like change it up on this angle yeah I mean I think just putting our kids in as many like sports activities as possible I was just talking with my mom because I both my parents worked like my whole life and so I went to after school daycare for until like I was in high school junior high um and Taylor didn't have I

well I mean granted he also started working we just had very different childhoods so he wasn't going to have her school daycare but my mom was talking about it she was like you know obviously we were working but also we didn't want to just put you home with a babysitter because you were like you were an only child so you had exposure to playing with kids and having all those interactions and I did like every sport under the sun and I think that's something that we really like want

to just introduce our kids to like everything and I completely agree with you I also think

with the rise of like technology for kids I have never felt more adamant of like we need to

put our kids in sports because I think there was so much that it taught me like even if you're not good at the sport like there's community and there's resilience and grit and determination and like just there's so much that a kid is taught through that experience that I feel like I am very grateful to look back on the amount that my parents but it's also a sacrifice from

have your kids in that sport that means you have to like travel for it or that means you have to like

you can't go away for the whole summer and my mom was like well my kid loves it and there were certain parents that were like no no we wouldn't do that like we want to go to the beach house or like we want to go to the beach for the summer and so that means kids don't have a summer

“sport and I took every to each their own but I think that's where I want to knowing how much”

my parents invested in us as kids to do what we loved I feel so fortunate that I'm like I want to be there on that sideline with the cooler shearing like a psychopath yeah so on the other day I had like packed I don't even remember what it was for oh golfing um I had like packed bag with like all of my snacks and stuff for Taylor and a friend we were with was like uh he was like you're gonna be such a great soccer ball and I was like oh that's like the best couple that I've

ever had truly like thank you so special we played the game who's more likely to when you and Taylor came on the show and now I want to play parenting addition and you're gonna either say mom Taylor or dad Taylor okay who is more likely to be down to go all out for a family Halloween costume dad Taylor do you think you could ever convince Taylor to do a family Twilight costume

“it's a good question I mean honestly if I would I probably oh my gosh we would just”

would not we wouldn't post it it would be like a I could convince him to do an imprimant for sure and share with our close friends honestly I love like let me know what you need like let me down okay who is more likely to be more calm during delivery oh I would say me mom time because I'm very calm and high stress situations but also I could see it being like a played opposite and Taylor just really like comedy I was like we had to like figure out like some breathing like I

have to he has to figure out how to like how do you figure there I have I started so many questions so much to go like how do we practice that like how does how was he a quit I don't know I'm also a picturing Taylor to anyone that doesn't know this and I remember when we were at the lake and we were talking and I literally pointed this out and he was like oh my god you remembered it Taylor has his tendency to stretch when he's like what do you say like not anxious but like just like

it's like he's thinking it's either when he's nervous or he's like thinking because I had put him on the spot to tell you about his show and he then just like spread I can't tell you that's actually one of my favorite moments to ever exist like it's so sweet that you even remembered that and when you were like oh my god he's doing it and I was like wait he actually is doing it

it was like the first time I ever interviewed you guys it was like after the interview basically

Taylor was like or hey you were like he like does his thing when he gets a little anxious and he like stretches like a year later I see you guys again and I'm like watching this man stretch like on deck and I'm like you're stretching right now and his leg was up on me like ledge and I'm like Taylor Lotner put your leg down and calm down and he literally was like oh how did you notice that

“and how did you remember that and I'm like well first of all you're growing his up you're growing”

up he's like his up he's so funny why can I see him doing that in the delivery room he's like stretch him down like pain oh my gosh I'll let you do so funny okay who is more likely to spoil the kids oh dad Taylor who is more likely to document every milestone mom yeah who is more likely to be

the first person to volunteer to change a diaper oh I have mom I've changed diapers before so I

think that's I have like a who's more likely to cheer the loudest at your kids activities dad Taylor is there a specific sport or activity you guys like really want them to try I mean I obviously want to put them in dance because that was like my main thing but also Taylor was telling me because he do you know that he's like a world champion martial artist of course I do you know that he's gonna teach my kid do you know I like forget that was the thing but he was like

we could put our kids in martial arts and then I was like them and like the little whites so yeah probably running around and her little yeah no all of all of my girlfriends are like we're putting our kids like because they're all they're all gonna be so close and age so we're just gonna like put them in the little sports and soccer too I think that was I did soccer for like that was like soccer I did both at the same time and then I had to pick lines so I picked dance but

I think just like seeing them like run around seeing your child at a martial arts class with Taylor Lawtoner oh my god and then one day them like doing bye yeah um who is more likely

because everyone's like just don't don't stress because you're gonna I honestly I haven't had one person told me like to buy everything like everyone's been like you're gonna use a quarter of the stuff you actually have it's actually weird because I feel like I'm such I'm so type A planner

but with this I've been so like not doing research and not like doing stuff I finally went into

baby list and like if you haven't gone it's like actually getting to like see a stroller because I'm like I don't know where to start and I'm reading the stuff online and like this is so convincing I don't know what I want I don't know what I want right and also like there's that and then also like I'm having I'm fully preparing to like I'm gonna try to breastfeed but I'm fully like I'm going into it thinking that this may not work because everyone the main may not

work so I'm having formula just like ready so I'm I'm prepping for both I love that you just said that because from what I've understood and obviously we're not there yet but everyone talks about how there is this enormous pressure to breastfeed and I have had friends who are like the

nurse that I was working with even pressured me when I was like it just doesn't feel right and they're

“like you have to do it you have to do it for six months and I just feel so passionate of not even”

being there yet but knowing that you need to do whatever your body is telling you to do that's where I think it's like why do we do that to women it's like we're already gonna be going through so much post-partum that to then put that pressure and like shame on a woman of like I've had friends so I'm like oh I would like go to mom groups and they're like oh were you breastfeeding you know like no and they're like oh yeah that the piss is it makes me so bad because it's like

it's also I was talking with someone about this recently it's like you your baby will benefit from a mom who is present and mentally well in the head and if breastfeeding is has is having

a negative effect on your mental health then you need to listen to your body then you got yeah

marriage in terms of bringing a child into this world I think there's a lot of changes that a relationship can go through have you and Taylor just talked about the impact on your marriage of like okay we're bringing this baby into the world how are we gonna still prioritize ourselves like what do you think yeah no I definitely think that's something we're trying to implement because that's been a really big thing that a lot of my friends have told me is like you're like people say like

say goodbye to your marriage say goodbye to whatever and I'm like no like actually like Taylor and I've been together for eight and a half years like I like hanging out with just him like we do everything together so that's something that we're definitely preparing for I think to we're also just talking about it more like we have good communication but I definitely just like hold things I'm like a pusher downer with things and it's actually funny because before I got pregnant

I was telling my therapist that I want to get better bringing things up when I'm even it's weird because I'll bring things up if I'm struggling mentally with something but if it's something that I want to like something that Taylor and I need to talk about or something that like something deeper I really struggle with like bringing it up I don't know why like I didn't

“come from my family it's like conflict so I think that's why but he was like my therapist was like”

this is a muscle and you can work through this and like we're gonna start working on it and now with the pregnancy hormones I'm like great this is like I just gonna like say whatever's on my mind because I feel like more like I just I don't have as much patience or I'm just like I feel not I don't think I feel more confident saying it but I'm like there's less of the like me being scared to say it so I feel like we're having a lot of just like we're just talking

openly about what things will look like and we're have like we're just talking so much more and I think it's bringing us even closer before the baby comes which is gonna be special and I want my kids to like see see a marriage that is like a healthy marriage and see like I'd see you know my parents are high school sweetheart too so like it's cool like I want them to see a marriage that it's the husband and wife like and the kids like it's not just us not together and that's just

“giving everything to the kids such a good point like it's almost like that's why parenting is so”

crazy because when you are young and you have or you're having a young child in your head people understandably could be like we need to pour into this kid and then you can lose sight of your partner right yeah but then the kid grows up and is like I didn't really have an example of love in my household it was like my parents were very present but like they were a little disconnected and so it's like everything affects the child at different stages of life until you're so right like seeing

love in a home especially when this kid is high school college out of college searching for a life partner like you talking about your parents I feel so fortunate I have a similar situation they weren't high school sweetheart but they're still together they're so in love and I know

that we're so fortunate to have both of our parents still together but with that comes a lot of

“fucking work and a lot of communication and so like I love that your hormones are making you be like”

and another thing like that's great. Taylor loves it too because you know it took us a while

because when we first started and he's just someone that knows who he wants and he's very confident

when he wants to say what's talk about it and now the first time that ever happened which I also didn't have conflict in my previous even dating relationships I was like oh like it's the end like it's just the brain turns off it's the end of the world I can't even process a thought like I'm just frozen and shock and I need 24 hours and when Taylor and I first started dating he took my silence as like oh so you like don't care about what I'm saying and really it's just

quite the opposite like I can't even really process what he's saying and now now it's really suit because he'll like he'll talk to me like okay do you like Nina minute like I'm gonna go take a shower and then we come back down to finish you don't talk about it now what do you like it's just it's really cool and we have such an amazing relationship where we can communicate how we're feeling that is the best and I hope for everyone watching and listening that you get to that point where

like you know you're in a really positive healthy relationship when you learn each other's patterns essentially and you learn how each other coaps and how you process things and I was the same with Matt we're like I needed a minute and he would be like let's talk it through and I think I can't talk about this right now and that in the beginning of our relationship was our like thing and now we do the same exact thing that you guys are saying yeah he's like okay like

let's give a second and I feel like I've had a lot of people write in that we'll always say like

we just can't seem to like make it work in that category and I think a lot of that just comes from genuine respect and willingness to see the other person and recognize that in order to

“actually progress and get over this argument or whatever it was you need to respect the other”

person and how they process and you have to meet in the middle of the summer degree and sometimes it also means you need to be the one that is a little bit more lenient and the other because when you look at it as like wins and you can't go into it being like wanting to like dig the dagger and deeper and I'm so thankful Taylor and I have never like I we just we just want we want to be hurt we want the other to hear us and I'm not trying to make him feel bad for something and even

if one of us does something that the other doesn't like it's like like this you did this like I don't want to make you feel bad but this is how it made me feel like just like productive fighting is I think what needs to have like you can't I want Taylor to feel happy and I want to feel seeing it hurt I don't want to like make him feel worse no and the goal is resolution yes a win yes we're going to do a little rapid fire to close out are you ready yeah my dogs have been

very extra needy do you think your dogs know your pregnant that's a really good question and that's

“not a rapid fire answer I think they knew that I was really struggling in my first trimester because”

they were really coddling because I was not leaving the couch and they were like really chill but I am trying to figure out if they do if they do that yeah one of my dogs definitely wouldn't know because she's like a house cat and I feel like she's not that with it the other one yeah okay what is something you cried over while pregnant that you can laugh about now oh god um like everything oh god just like even the smallest things honestly probably me crying for

the first time seeing myself in the mirror like I'm just I I can I can laugh about it now because

even though I'm still there it's just like just laughing through the pain okay perfect what is something you wish people would stop asking pregnant women excuse me how are you feeling but I don't know what a better question I did it's good like how do you think I'm feeling oh I have had some people that I don't know touch my belly though and I'm like oh and god bless my my close friend like even my mom every time before she touches just like can I touch your belly and

like things mom like and I'm fine like my girlfriend's not like I have like my close friends I'm fine if they're they touch my belly but if I don't know you being like oh you're like that is that is such a good one it's similar to like how people feel so comfortable to talk or about our bodies when we're pregnant the touching is fucking crazy you're like do you want to touch my tips too I'm just realizing this I actually can relate to Taylor now because women

would just come up and literally touch his abs you're gonna go home be like babe another thing we relate on that we're gonna connect to a different body shapes you're abs yeah my abs that are like now separated have yours separated yet I have my legs up on the wall the other night and I like sat up to grab something and right here goes down but this is like squishy in the

oh yeah the heartburn that I'm experiencing under like my tits yeah here in the right

in the right here oh my god like I've been like rubbing my rib this episode is like it's happening right here and I'm like I don't like the way that this feels yeah um what has been your experience with pregnancy brain it's been a struggle I actually was even gonna ask you this because I feel like I taught for me obviously one being someone who's so driven I've really had to I like pride myself I'm being able to do like five things at once and like remember all of these things

do all this stuff and when that stopped happening I was like oh okay like it really made me have to like sit down and just accept it I think that's probably something I cried over and now I'm like okay with it and I think it's good that I'm it's making me chill a little more because I need to but even like with the podcast like how every time and I feel like it's harder for you because

“you have to paper I have my laptop so I will erase a question if I ask it because I then can't”

remember if I ask a question and I was just doing an event yesterday with cue cards and I was like moderating these two panels and I was like you bouncing around you know like if there's if I bring up something then you go to that topic and I was doing that and I was like wait I actually can't remember if I asked this who said what like they didn't know I will say like I I love that you brought that up because it's almost like I haven't wanted to admit it to myself yeah I remember like two

specific interviews I had I was so frustrated with myself because I was like trying so hard to lock in and I couldn't lock in the way that I'm used to and so every day is different for me like yesterday I did an interview and I was like oh my god I'm so locked in today I'm more relaxed because I'm like I knew I could flip up I know I could be like who you sit here in silence like I'm also comfortable with you but it is frustrating and I I agree with you I'm not there yet

“and I need to get there of like giving myself more grace because I love my job so much but also”

my job is weird where like my whole goal is to make people feel comfortable and make it feel seamless and flow and not have them even feel like I'm interviewing them so that has if anything but something where it's like when I have interviews now I'm trying to make my days less of like I had meetings in the morning meetings after the interviews that I can just the whole day is focused on the person sitting in this chair and giving them all of the brain power I humbly possibly have

because the minute after I finish interviews now I'm like goodbye everyone anyone need anything for me okay perfect it makes me feel I'm like I am paying attention but it's like I just like can't it's not there it's it's hard and part of me you know I used to at the beginning doing stuff in first trimester like it's easy because like you know this this is our job like this it's it's sitting like we're not like my best friend you know delivering babies for a living so like

that's something I'm so grateful for but then it's like oh like I actually like this does require

a lot of brain power and I never actually then told my life's that no we are doing ping pong right now

and I feel like we're doing okay I have two pregnant ladies sitting here I mean we may go wherever everyone's gonna be like I mean we're like in our own world of productions of the back like me already forgetting I'm gonna be doing rapid fire with you I'm like wait oh okay what has been the most recommended pregnancy item to you by friends I think the I mean my biggest one of my biggest savior has been like the migraine cap because I had the worst headaches in my first trimester

and even now I'll like do it if I'm feeling overwhelmed or just like I would sleep with it every night even if I didn't have a migraine because I was so warm I would just would like sleep on it that I have like a little nauseous stick that's like a scent thing which I actually originally got from boating on the lake because I would get like seasick but not on the boat it was weird it's

“like the after when you have like the sea lake that's what would get me and so I had it for motion”

sickness and I literally have one and like every bag everywhere it's the best thing a little part of can oh yeah I like that yeah is any part of you nesting yet and like what are some things that you're preparing I finally cleaned out the room that's gonna be the nursery which um I took me to the finally do but then I was like you know people like it's just maybe even really use the nursery like in the beginning so like if it's a little late it's fine um yeah definitely

nesting but then also part of me is like I'm always nesting because I that's what I do when I'm

stressed as I clean and organize and do that's kind of stuff of course um you have your podcast squeeze and I know you said that not all of your episodes will be pregnancy related but also that is the reality of what you are going through how are you gonna continue to like share your journey yeah I think I yeah I mean it definitely is starting to be more pregnancy heavy

ironically um so no I'm just I think it's so special and I haven't enjoyed sharing about my

“struggles this much ever before because it's just it's it's such a unique experience and it's so”

special and um kind of like how we were talking about earlier like I just did the you don't know what to expect and I even say now like I was I was such a bad friend to my friends that happened pregnant and our moms because like you just like you truly don't know and I used to roll my eyes all the time with my mom would say that to me like as a kid and now I'm like oh no there's actually

like truth to that I will never be able to unsee it and unfel it it's like whoa this is so much more

than I ever understood again because the glamorization we think of woman just oh she's pregnant she's great pops out oh when you get underneath the hood of it and you mount that goes into living the experience down um last question to anyone who is just finding out their pregnant this week last week whatever it is they're entering this first trimester what advice do you have

“for them honestly just go into it a prepared I think I just wasn't prepared I was expecting it to be”

a lot less worse than it was and I think if I was better prepared then I would have been able to maybe mentally handle it a little better and I would I would also add that and to give you some grace like again I think the mental and physical toll it takes I also think that there's only so much

preparing you can do yeah and I as women I we are so incredible because our bodies we just forget

and we keep it moving to survive and I believe that like when women talk about birth and they're like

“right after like that was the hardest thing in the world and then you asked them a couple months later”

and they're like it wasn't that bad yeah we there's an amnesia part of it that during the first trimester it's literally just like day by day just get through but when I got to like my halfway point

I like forgot I had to do like vaginal protester on for the first month which was just weird I

did not like having to do that um I had like a weird heart thing like I had so many things happening that I'm like oh I like I forgot I wore a heart monitor for two weeks like I'm like there's just so many little things that I like forget now and I don't say that to like minimize how anyone's feeling but it helps get through yeah just you gotta you gotta just hold on I can't thank you enough for coming on I we didn't cry go us we I love how we sat down and we almost started crying just

by talking like we were like hi and then by the end we're like we were so strong yep we were so on it but seriously thank you so much for coming on I'm so happy for you I just oh my god your little girl is going to be the cutest ever and I'm just so happy for you and Taylor and just all the good vibes and energy to you on this next chapter of your guys my gosh same I can't wait for a little like babies so fun I love you