Andy Daly Returns

Well, I got news for you, shouldn't be really, because I'm gonna rock your world today.

You're gonna leave here a shell. Yeah, I know. I already feel that. I'm gonna be friends. I'm gonna be friends. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Sona is not with us today. She's on an extended vacation.

“I think it's gone on quite a long time, but she's in Hawaii. She's having a great time.”

Of course, not me. Here, holding down the fort while she gallevants and probably promotes her new book, which she'll be talking about soon here on the podcast. But I am sitting here with Matt Gorley. No vacation for you. Yeah, you can't go on vacation. Why not? Well, because you have a newborn. Yeah. Well, pretty newborn.

Yeah. Six months now. Almost six months. Oh, by the time this comes out. Six months. Okay. Yeah. And we will have already gone on vacation by the time this comes out. Now where do you go? Sona went to Hawaii. Where are you gonna go? We're going to Carpentaria, which. Beautiful. Carpentry California. I spend a lot of time up there. I love it.

I love it. I love it. Beautiful place. It is gorgeous. Wonderful people.

Chill vibe. Yeah. David, you're never to go on. David, a hopping is filling in for Sona.

David, you were never to go on on vacation. You know that it's in your country.

“Oh, I don't know why I didn't read the contract. Where would you go?”

Well, you can't read David. That's one of the reasons. But I knew I had to learn. Yeah. It was still time. Yeah. And I've been all over the place, traveling a lot. The Mick Jagger interview, which was just such a bucket list thing for me, came out a couple of weeks ago. And I was so happy about that. And I went to London for that. Because when one has a chance to

interview Mick Jagger, you, you know, you go to the mountain. Yeah. You go to Mick Jagger. And so I went there and I was really envying one thing about London. What's that? I was walking around and I was noticing that people dressed like adults and, you know, people were wearing jackets and, you know, starting to heat up a little bit. It wasn't too hot yet. But I've been to London another times of the year where it's chilly, crisp air, people wearing

pea coats. People were dressed like, you know, James Bond and a James Bond with the guys, dress up. The women look great. People are wearing clothing. We live on this. Yes. And then I come back to LA. And I'm going to say it right now. I'm looking around and I'm looking at you

first of all. You look like your mom just dressed you for summer camp. I'm wearing a t-shirt.

You have a Han Solo jacket on. Yeah. Yeah. At least I have that. No, I'm trying to put on some kind of clothes because I don't want to just walk around. I mean, here you could bump into, I don't care what station of life they're in. Everybody is just wearing jeans and a t-shirt and big, puffy sneakers. And then you ask them, you know, what are we doing? We'll just talk here. They're too big first of all. Okay. But sneakers in general and I just think I don't

want to spend my days like this. And so I'm starting to think that maybe I should just start wearing suits around. But then heat, it just looks ridiculous too hot. It's not just the heat.

“No, I'm saying it just, but that even if you want to forget the heat, forget the heat for a second,”

because yes, it's going to be hot for a couple of months in the summer. But most the year, it's, you know, 72 degrees here. You can wear a light suit. Can't you? Why aren't we doing that? Why aren't we dressing like adults? Whoa. Why aren't we picking people children? I feel like I act like a child because I'm dressed like a child. Wait a minute, in New York, I act like a child as well. Okay. Scratch that. But I do want to start wearing a p-coat and I want to walk around and I

want to meet people for a gin cocktail. You know, it's like five o'clock in the afternoon. Oh, right? It's all in one. Well, you're an angle, file you. I do this. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I don't you. I mean, I know you're a bond fanatic. When you like to dress a little better than you do. 100%. I want to wear a sweater any day of the week, but you can't hear. You just can't. I get really irritable when I'm hot and I can't do it. So we're seeing you when you're not irritable.

Hey, fuck you, man. Okay. All right. I'm glad I get Mr. Sunshine here. I think if I could offer a different opinion about why people dress like they're doing LA, I think a lot of people in LA are very concerned about their appearance and they work out a lot. So I think they want to show off their hot bodies. Oh, really? Yes. I think that people are wearing a lot of tank tops. They're wearing a lot of shorts because they want to show off their glutes and their pants and they're not sure that's it.

I was just for us. He wore suit every day. And then we came out here and he was still the producer of

our show and the next thing I know, you know, he's wearing grandmothers. You know, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. I mean, he's, uh, you know, and he's, he's got those sneakers that don't have laces. You know, you're opening those, oh, I just told me crazy. You know what I mean? It's guy fought in the Korean War. And he's, and I'm just wondering what the fuck happened. He, the minute we we got here. He was here like 10 minutes and all adult clothing went away. And he was writing

home letters to his parents saying we went on a canoe trip today and I'm like, what happened to us? If you had it your way, would you be in a bowl or hat? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not a bowl or hat or a peat coat and I'm just a boots. Yeah, I mean, you can get a lighter suit. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I am, you know, of an A. I agree. I agree. And I think that sometimes the clothes inform your attitude and maybe, you know, I'm a guy with grown children and I'm still walking around. You know, dressed like I work at a bowling alley. What are we? What are we doing? What are we doing?

When it starts with you, you know, that's what they told me. That class I told. We do like a team Coco, like shopping trip where we all, and then charge to the show.

“Yeah, I think we should just remake Jeff Ross. That's what we just experiment with. This isn't about me. I'm realizing now this is about Jeff Ross.”

You know, like an extreme makeover situation. I just think it's time that we started, you know, what happened to that? Why did we, you know, and, and play, I'm sorry, but, you know, you say it's all about our bodies, but you don't have to wear a who-farted t-shirt. You know, you close it up. First of all, to defend myself here, defend yourself. Go to tacking. Go to youtube.com/chemecoco and look at every rehearsal video you were in, which is you wore the same Guinness t-shirt for like 25 years.

I know, I know. And you know what, that was just because I think Guinness is an amazing product. If they want to send me some free Guinness, that's their business.

That's not the reason I'm saying anything about Guinness or something. But can I just point out the fact, if you look at like all the billionaires, look at Bezos, this guy's just wearing a t-shirt and like none of the, none of the richest people in the world are dressed up. That's my point. That's my point. This week, Rosa. We, the tech pros aren't. So what, I may be everyone.

“First of all, this makes me, this makes me, this makes me, and I think the tech pros, I have no problem with them having most of the world's money.”

And spending it eating bald eagles. That's their matter. That's their concern. You got to let the free market do its thing. Okay.

But when they walk around and they're wearing these gap t-shirts and short cargo shorts, I think they're letting the side down.

The West has been casual Friday. Yes, the entire Western civilization has been casual Friday, and I think we need to pull it back. And maybe this starts to lead to better behavior. Maybe there'll be more consideration for others. Maybe people will start to have better manners. I mean, this might inform, and I'm not talking about, you know, you don't have to be spend a lot of money to change the style of dress a little bit. You know, I mean, maybe people accuse me of being in a bubble, but I don't think a prodigy could cause that much and everyone should have one.

Just kidding. That was a fun joke for me. I enjoyed it. You see, I said I'm not in a bubble, and then when I did is revealed that I am in a bubble. But no, yes, play. I can play the agree. I think, you know what? I think if you, I think if you look good, you feel good. And I think that's crazy. I don't care if that at all.

“Because many people to start with you, if you want to see that you got to be the work change you want to see.”

You have to be, and then glad you brought this up. If I'm going to open it the other day. And she's going, and you need to be the change you want to see. And I said, okay, maybe I'll use it on the pod. So on a day like today, where it's 90 degrees you would wear a pure focused about the weather. I'm just saying you can tell me if you wanted to do it. Yes, you can. You just sweat a lot. I'm that serious about it. I want to get a big long tweet code.

I'll get him with this one. The doctor who might wear it. Oh, yeah. Not a doctor who got it. Oh, wow, a discerning. I'm going to discerning consumer of jewelry for me. He traveled in a phone booth. Anyway, it's a tardis, dude. What's that? It's a tardis. He's not a phone booth, direct doctor who isn't it a phone booth? No, it's in the, it looks like a phone booth.

This is angry. You're on the inside than the outside. You're as angry as someone would be in like a drive by shooting. But you're a bit because I misidentified the phone booth that the goofy science fiction doctor gets into. I know. Please wrap. I'm going to wrap this up. He wears a suit by the way. Doctor who wears a suit. Interesting. I what I need to do, I guess, is start dressing like I'm James Joyce.

Okay. And I need to do that. I just need to own that, own that and do it. Yeah. And so I need to do it. Okay. And I will do it. Well, I look forward to that next time I record you be coming in. Sweating. Yeah. Okay. I will. All right. Let's get into this.

My guest today is an actron comedian who hosts the Andy daily podcast project, which is available exclusively on his Patreon.

“I'm going to need to make something clear. I think pound for pound. You can't be funnier than Andy daily.”

I just adore the man. And he's been involved in so many of my projects over the years. And he's been in so many great iconic television series. And he makes me really happy. Thrilled these here. Andy Daily. Welcome. I'm going to start very quickly by telling you that your comes first of all.

I was shocked when the daily show first came on. He sued the daily show. He said that they had stolen his name. Well, they did. No, they put an eye in it to make it sound like it's a show that's happening every day. It wasn't show that happened every day and still is. I thought that was one of the most craven things you've ever done.

And because I said they don't want he got six million dollars.

Yeah. And he's been pretty much living off of this. He's also sued like one day daily supplement. Yes. Oh, that's the best. The most supplement brands can aren't safe anymore because so much money has to be that would normally go into research and development go to Andy daily. It's terrible what you've done.

It's not terrible because people, I don't want people to think that I'm responsible for those vitamins. I have nothing to do with them. Okay, but it's felt differently. If I want to come out with my line of my whole line of vitamins. And which I'm very well might.

Daily daily. Daily daily daily daily daily daily daily. Yeah. I can't have a confused with everything else on the market. I'm going to make it perfect sense.

I'm going to make it clear right now. Andy daily is one of my favorite people. You're your style. Let me just say it. No.

Just a little more. Just a little more. No. Very funny. No.

Stop. We used you. You used you like a pack meal on my different late night shows over the years to do really funny things. Okay. Just a.

Just a gentleman. Also. Listen. No, but like a pack meal. Were you funny?

No. But you can carry very heavy loads in very dry temperatures for a long time. Very narrow canyon in clients. I was concerned coming in here that you were going to pay me too many compliments. No, no.

No, that's it. Oh, Karen. But you know, every time you're on something, whether it's Silicon Valley, meat, modern family, blackish, you show up in so many great comedies. You're always excellent.

Now that's it for the nice stuff. Now we get into the real one. What happened last time I was here, you paid me so many compliments and I was just basking in them. Yeah. Really enjoying them.

It was a great moment for me.

“And then at the end of it, you said, and is there anything you'd like to say back to me?”

I was like, and you had nothing. I had, I really had a work. Yeah. I went back and listened to that. Nothing.

Because I've asked many guests. I mean, I just, I just interviewed Mick Jagger for an hour. I know. And I listened back to it. 40 minutes of the interview with Mick Jagger is me demanding to know what he thinks

about me. Okay. And it wasn't good. Do you know, I listened to his interview with the New York Times? Mm-hmm.

And I think he kind of sub-tweeted you because somehow they got onto the topic of comedians. Yeah.

And he said, you know, there's some comedians who had just always on the cat stop.

He said, he didn't mention you by name Conan. And you sure were trying to Mick Jagger or was that an old British semen in 1780? He's proving Jagger's point. Do I need to work on my Jagger impression? Literally the first time I've ever tried to impersonate Mick Jagger.

I mean, I thought I was in the room with him again. Yeah. I really did. Oh, I got a tattoo, something. Right.

It's the post, post. Favelling, noise, the travelling noise for me. Uh, oh. Probably me? No, I'm just sort of taking it back by by your, uh, anyone but Jagger impression just now.

That was my Jagger. Oh, it was. And I just talked to him at wrong hour. Okay. That's not a humble brag.

That's just a brag. Shut up, Conan, talking to himself. Well, it could have been more than an hour. Oh, it's just about, uh, more expect. Yeah, yeah.

Let me tell you something. All right. You're funny. You're fast. You're a chameleon.

But who are you really? I've known you many years. And you know what? There's no one in there. They're just a good question because we're friends.

Yeah. And I don't know if I know you. Well, exactly. Your friends with Gorley. Yeah.

Gorley and I are buddies. Same higher. [laughter] It's just your sing. I'll go all the other side on that.

You could do better. Well, you think his name was a great director. But that was I was what I gave him right there.

“And I think that was worse going back for.”

[laughter] I love a joke that you first stepped up to give a preamble. I should lecture on who and what the subject did. Of course. Maybe people don't like him because he ratted out.

Some other artists.

Yeah, you always bring the blacklisting.

But anyway.

Like, that's going to hurt the ultimate punch.

“If I take a digression into the blacklisting.”

All right, tell you something. Again, back to this theme. Any daily is the comedy pack meal. You're so good. Again, carrying dry goods.

Beef jerky. Thank you. Through desert climbs. But also, you're a shapeshifter. You're always funny.

You're an always funny fellow.

You know, I did once. I was once offered a roll on something. There wasn't much on the page. And my agent told me like, But this, this is what you're good at.

When there's like not much on the page. You, you can really bring something. And I thought that's a bad reputation to have. Like offer me parts that are poorly written or underwritten or just no good at all. Yeah.

And this guy can do something with it. So you'll probably end up in bad. Yeah, a lot of times they just send you blank pages. And then sometimes if it's commercial, they just ask you to make up the product.

And then they'll go make it. I don't know what to make it. And it's a daily. Oh, come up with some with quizzle gum. You get a spazzle of a quizzle dizzle bezel.

Okay. Let's make it. Sounds fantastic. Andy. Can I call you Andy?

Yeah. Okay. Andrew. You, I like that better.

“You, you and I have known each other for how many years.”

Would you say it's been 30 years? We've been working together. It feels like 50. But I would say probably 1996 this one week. I would say that.

And we have some things in common. Okay. I know you're an animal lover. You have a dog. I have two dogs.

Yeah. Really? See, we're going to have a good podcast interview. Great. I think we got it.

Are we done? That's right. Well, this has been Andy Daily. Speaking of things we have in common. Yeah.

I was recently misrecognized as you. No. I'm not. Yes. I gentleman walked toward me looking like he knew who I was.

Like we were friends or something. And you're like, here we go. You've got your autograph pen. Exactly. And there's no one watching autograph pen anymore.

But then as we got closer, he disengaged and smiled and said, I thought you were a Conan O'Brien. Oh, Andrews. Yeah. Wow.

And I thought I did nothing to earn that insult. Hey. That's terrible. Well, I welcome you into the bosom of my bosom. And you called him a pack meal.

That's again. That's a compliment. When you're done with a pack meal, you shoot it and leave it for dead. Yeah. Trust me.

You're over. I'm putting one right between his eyes. And then we're moving on. Yeah. But I did explain to him.

I did say he's really the first thing you noticed about Conan is how tall he is. Just FYI. If you're out there in the world looking for Conan. Yeah. Rule out anybody of like a normal thing.

“That's why people who know that often think I'm Jane Lynch.”

That happens a lot too. I mean, I get. I have occasionally get misidentified. But not often. Mostly people just know it's me.

Or they know. I know he's famous for something. And I love it when people say you want to those movie stars. I say. Oh, no.

No. I am not a movie star. Not at all. You couldn't be more wrong. Would you say if somebody says, hey, are you famous?

You could say back if you have to ask the answer is no.

Right. But then they might get offended. I know. They might think I'm being snarky. That's why I say nothing.

I turn around and walk in the other direction. Well, that's really really. Well, then I don't know what to do. Oh. It's just puzzles me.

Well, I got to keep this going now. Listen, you. Oh, what happened? Are you okay? You're just suddenly realize that I have nothing to live for.

Oh, my God. Wait. It's coming. That's sometimes just comes on me and I just have to wait it out. Hold on a second.

How long does it usually take? This could be ours. Oh, dear. No, I've gone. Oh, I'm good now.

Okay. Phew. How did you feel during that? Were you worried for me at all?

But I can go for a second.

Did you think I'm going to stop and talk to Conan? No, not at all. No. I just, I was just completely thinking about myself. You have two dogs.

I have two dogs. Oh, yeah. I heard that you got a dog when you quit drinking. Is that true? Oh, yeah.

That's about right. Well, let's hear what was the thinking there? Um, because I got a dog to have someone to drink with. I've had seven golden retrievers. Dive cirrhosis of the liver.

Yeah. But when is very common in the breed? Don't blame yourself. When? So, what was the thinking there?

It was more that I kind of realized. I guess I was sort of had more time on my hands and was a little bit bored. But also, I felt like I'm not going to screw it up. Like, I can take on some extra responsibilities. Okay.

Now that I'm sort of not. Um, uh, uh, in biving. Yeah. And sort of, you know, having a being a black out drunk three days a week. Oh, okay.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Okay. How long ago, did you make this switch? Do you get so many four years ago?

Oh, good for you. Yeah. First response of when he met you.

Wow. Yeah.

Um, but that's an incredible achievement.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. Okay. I need a lot of chocolate. That's okay.

I just replaced the one with the other. Yeah. Yeah. No. Thank you.

Yes. It was like, but the dog help you get sober or does it was more and more of those things where, um, because I find that my animals, we have two dogs and three cats and there's just animals everywhere. And I love it. I just love because as you know, I'm very tactile.

I just like to grab a golden retriever and wrestle with them on the floor. Yeah. Me too. You might not guess that about me, but when I, I wrestle with the dogs all the time. And I bite my dogs.

I bite them all the time. Oh, I'm constantly biting my dogs. Okay.

Your dogs have put out a complaint to do the shit.

Be great if you took your dogs in, they say this dog has human rabies.

“Remember that time you bit a bat in the bat got rabies?”

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every time he brings it up. Uh, what part of their body do you bite like their faces?

Oh, wow. I just constantly, I, um, they love it. We can't get enough of it. I do a crazy thing for years. I would see my golden and I would wrestle on the ground.

And sometimes I would yell at the dog. You shot my president and wrestle him and wrestle him to the ground. Like he was in a saline. And people would hear me do that and go, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" And I just thought it was so great.

And another thing I would do is it's really funny to, I would point at my dog and go, "Im bezler." And they make this guilty face. Yeah, they do. Like, I know you've been stealing funds.

And just the idea of a golden being caught and bezling. And it could take some finesse for a golden, you know, to get into your books and manipulate money. But they could do it. They could do it.

I often will get one of my dogs like we're down on the ground. And I'll just get face to face with her. And I'll say, "Come away with me." And the other dog understands us. They don't understand what we have. And you have two dogs.

You know how does the other dog feel? When you say to that dog, "Come away with me." The others don't understand. It's simply happy to be off the out of my sights at that moment. It'll be me next time.

“I think my dogs understand how comedically needy I am.”

And so they are. And golden's are bred to absorb all of your stuff. And I think when I leave, they just apogos across their forehead. Like, "Marsh, you're off to my dog." 75 bits this morning.

One of our dogs is a golden retriever. Yes. Yeah, they're great. They're great. And I don't mind the hair all over the place.

You know, people get all these doodles now. They're hypo-allergenic. Not me. No. No, I like dogs.

It'll make me really sick. I was just thinking this morning. I wouldn't like it if when I reach into my drawer to get a new, an article of clothing to put on for the day. If it doesn't at that point have dog hair on.

Yeah. That's my comes out of the dryer with dog hair. No, but just in the process of folding it and all that. There's hair everywhere.

If you come visit me at my house, which will never happen.

You open the door and just golden hair comes pouring out onto anyone who comes to see us. Yeah, I don't mind that if I wear it for two seconds, it'll be covered in hair.

“But if I can take it out of the drawer, not hairy.”

No, this is why I primarily buy clothes that are golden. Oh. [laughter] That's my house painted gold and all gold rugs. It's very Trumpy, but for different reasons.

[laughter] Trump came by and he was like, "This is pretty good." Anyway, it's for the golden's. He's like, "Okay, yeah, yeah." He drops in a whole time. He drops in a whole time.

He drops in a whole time. He drops in a whole time. He drops in a whole time. [music] [music]

I'm curious, because I like the origin stories. You must have been an odd young fellow. And I can relate. You're just a perfectly normal kid. And amazingly normal kid.

And amazingly. [laughter] You played, you were quarterback for the Rams for like eight years. You know what, actually, when I was in high school. I want to find out how alike we were when we were,

when we were little comedy freaks. Yes. Okay, well, this is a story I actually told once on the TBS show. And I gave you this piece of information for me. That's okay. That's okay. That's no no. No one destroyed.

No, I know. But I gave you this piece of information about myself. And your response was to say, "What an ass." And so I'm gonna get fully in stick with you. It did. And I would like to give you an opportunity to just, I'm gonna tell it to you again.

Okay. And give you an opportunity to have a more supportive and empathetic reaction to it. Okay. I think I can do it. Okay.

When I was in high school, I wrote for the student newspaper. And because I did, right, for the student newspaper, I wore a fedora to school with a press card in the headband. Mm-hmm. That's the information.

Fuck you. Wait a minute. This is what you do, you project because if you didn't do that very same thing,

We established a long time ago. But I attack people for my quality. Yes. Most of my attacks on you are things that I have guilty of.

And I always find that that's the greatest joke of all.

I attack others for things I have done. And now it seems to become a national prey. It's a national prey. It's a national prey. It's trust me.

You know, you're a crook. Wait a minute.

“But I think it's one of my great joys in life.”

It's going after other people for being nerds and freaks when they were kids. Yeah. No. I totally, I remembered, I mean, I talked about it. But all I wanted when I was a boy was not a baseball bat or a glove or a football.

I wanted office supplies because I wanted to like type things up and fire off memos. I wanted a stamp that said void and cancel. And I started to gather these things. And I remember all I wanted to do was to have official papers to write up. I wanted a pneumatic tube, also one of those things you wore.

And it goes shooting off. Yes. So you're firing off memos to other rooms. So I am just as bad as you. And I was, I, bullies should get in time machines now and go back and beat the shit out of me.

More than I was beaten already. Get it bad enough at the time? Yeah. No, no, I got it. More than my share.

Yeah. But I still think when I think of these things now, I think, no, I didn't get enough beating. We need bullies to get into time machines. Instead of going back and stopping World War II from happening or other things, they should just go back and kick the shit out of me. Yes.

It wasn't enough just to, you know, throw the hat in a tree.

“You have to punch me while you're at it.”

Yeah. I spent a lot of time chasing after that hat. Really? So you wore the hat and you were bullied. I'm guessing.

Of course. But I was just looking for scoops. Yeah. You're supposed to not when you're a party. You're looking for scoops.

That's what I said. I'm looking for scoops. When you're a party, you're supposed to not be the story. And you are kind of like exactly your right. So all of your articles that you wrote were reporter a sail.

Hat stolen. Like every time you picked up the Andy Daily Daily newspaper. My column was called The Daily Muse. Oh my god. The Muse.

Yeah. I think I've told this once. But once I was walking with my brother Luke and, you know, I was kind of smart. And my brother Luke is to this day a thousand times smarter than me.

He was just this incredible brain.

And I remember we got stopped near this area. And my neighborhood called The Point where some of the tough kids hung out. And we got stopped by some kids. And there was sort of shove in us. You guys are, you know, back then everyone was queer.

You know, that would be called you queer. Like hey, pushing you and saying that. And the insult back then was you mental. You know, it was a Boston thing. But mental meant, you know, you know, you're mental.

Just means they're all screwed up. Hey, kid, what do you mental? Yeah.

“And they pushed my brother Luke and said, what do you mental?”

And he said, well, mental is Latin for of the mind. So I thank you. The fist flew fast and hard. I remember he's just at my heart thinking when Luke had this super silliness. Look on his face.

So Latin is mental and Latin is of the mind. You could serve. So I thank you. And then when you made an example of a pure victory. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I read about this in your column.

Yeah, yeah. That was the one scoop you ever had. Fellow nerd Beaton after quoting Latin. It was a pure victory. It was a pure victory.

For sure. Yours most sincerely. The Daily News. You goin. I love that.

No, no. I am you and you am I. Yes, I would say in an alternate universe.

Here's I have a question for you because I was thinking about somebody was asking me like the first laugh I ever got out of a crowd.

And I remember very clearly. In fact, I think it might be my first memory that I was in nursery school. And it was a very special job to get to carry the dixie cups full of fruit juice from the kitchen to the room where everybody was. Like that was something every day someone got selected to do it. And it was my job to do it that day.

And I legitimately dropped. I tripped and dropped this tray full of dixie cups and too. And everybody laughed as though I had done it on purpose. And then I played it off like I had done it on purpose because I really enjoyed the laugh. But I wonder if is that a common experience do you think for comedians to like yes to get a lot like.

Yeah, it was not an intentional joke. Yeah, but I had to. It was so much like I got in a lot of trouble for dumping juice on the floor. But that was better. But you got the pure heroin hit of a laugh.

Yes. And no one forgets their first hit. Yes. You know, I mean, I'm in the same way. Do you remember yours?

Yeah, my first big laugh was 1998.

And I remembered saying the Mr. T. Warner, Mr. W. That was the big laugh. No, no, no, no.

I loved my first big laugh.

It was our fifth anniversary show. I had never had one lap. No, I remember very clearly. I was at a little school in Brooklyn, mask called the Michael Baldwin School. We just called the Baldwin School.

And it was just K through three. I would have been, I don't know, maybe second grade. And my dad had taken me to a revival house and shown me a Charlie Chaplin film.

“And I think it was maybe modern times or something.”

I was just, oh, my god, that guy's funny. It was a silent film with the music. And I saw it. And my dad knew I was into comedy. So he took me and I saw it.

So I took a little walking stick to a school. And out in the school yard, I was doing a routine where I was walking with the walking stick. And it was a total accident. I crossed one leg. You know, the way when you used plant a cane.

Like the planter's peanut guy. Yeah. Kind of, you know, cross one leg over the other. Yeah. In a saucy way.

Johnty pose. I was doing a little stick with it. A bunch of kids were around in the playground. And I started doing it for them. And then I crossed one leg over the other.

And accidentally hit the cane with my foot. And it went, went, went, went, went spinning. And kind of planted itself in the grass. And the kids thought it was, it was an accident. Yeah.

But I got the biggest laugh because it looked like I've been up all night. Practicing a really cool thing. And they were just like, that was awesome. And I had that whole floodgate of, yeah. And I just, I'll try to do some of these things on purpose, maybe.

Yeah. And I realized that I needed to be a prop comedian. [LAUGHTER] To this day. To that day.

To that day. To this day, wherever I go, I have my trusty. [LAUGHTER] I, I, I got, the Gallagher estate. And I bought all his props.

So, um, he, there was an auction of Gallagher belongings. Didn't we look over the street? Yeah. You could buy one of his hats that had hair attached to it. That's right.

I remember it. I was watching, I think I was watching Rip Taylor. The comedian, Rip Taylor used to do prop comedy. And he'd be like, oh, oh. And he was on the Merve Griffin show or something.

And I was watching him. And he just, oh, he had a trunk full of just crap. Just junk. And he pulled out what was a mannequin's, and mannequin's arm.

And duct tape to it. And he just pulled it up and held it up and went, "Tennis elbow!" [LAUGHTER] And I remember being a kid watching daytime TV,

and I went, "That's awful!" [LAUGHTER] You can't just, no, you can't just take--

“What was his show, the like $9 beauty pageant, do you remember that?”

I don't remember that. Yeah, it was like a daily show where they would just do a beauty pageant. And he was the host. And he would crown, just-- I don't remember anything of his other than thinking,

"You can't just take two nouns and duct tape them together." Because if you do it so nihilistic, you know, you can just get a piece of glass. And I mean, I'm just trying to think of-- You can just take anything that has two words to it,

and tape them together, and then announce that's what it is. And I remember just thinking, "If we go down that road, we're dead as a species." And sure enough, Rick Taylor died.

Many years later, you probably never have described his act as nihilistic.

I don't think. He wants to do it for that. He wants to do it for that. He wants to do it for that. He wants to do it for that.

He wants to do it for that. He wants to do it for that. I mean, you got him to do something on our show once. And yeah, so Frank's Miley got him to do a bit for us. And I just still had PTSD from his tennis elbow routine.

I take him away, get him away from me. I know that you're doing your own podcast. And have it for quite a long time. And you guys got to know each other. Do you know each other before that?

We knew each other from first from my podcast Super Ego, which you guessed it on. Which is, by the way, so many times I'm with you, and fans come out of the woodwork by-pass me, and they know Super Ego with this guy.

And I'm like, "What the hell is going on?" What am I, Johnny? Yeah. Yeah, you may be. You may be.

“That's why I don't want with Matt Gorley anymore.”

Super Ego is just an hour long podcast. And we're talking about how your chop liver. I think of the case. But no, that's so you guys work together. And I mean, do you have any insights into what makes this man tick?

Because any daily fascinates me,

it's, I've just never not seen him be funny.

And it's kind of it seems effortless. The check is going to come to him on these compliments. I know they've got to be. Oh, you've let us down many times already, too. I'm looking for scopes, looking for scopes.

He's, he's my friend, so I don't even have to say this.

But I find him to be. Don't say the funniest. Don't say the funniest. Don't say it. Don't say it.

You're hanging by a friend. You're hanging by a friend. You're hanging by a friend. You're hanging by a friend. You're hanging by a friend.

You're hanging by a friend. You're hanging by a friend. Along with David Hopping. Along with yourself. Truly one of the funny things.

Hey, I'm, I mean, never know.

“If you put me in the same category with this guy, I'm very happy.”

Yeah. And that's the last compliment today. Now I go after you again. All right. I think you're really pale.

You know what else he is? What? Generous. So funny. I know.

Don't don't. Generous. He's just a generous comic partner. He always gives you room and shut up. Shut up.

This is why I have such a hard time coming up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. If you get one laugh, I will die.

That's always been my comedy philosophy.

If I'm on stage with anyone and they get the slightest laugh, I will immediately die. Of course. Imagine the nose. The emotional nose bleed.

“I felt coming from Andy to working with Andy.”

Shut up. I've been doing this at Andy Richter once, but I've come up with a good comedy character. Let's do it. And my guy just says shut up. So instead of, yes, Andy.

He'd say like, oh, well, this is a nice cookie shop. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. And then. It would work.

And then in prophecy, it would work. These days. Nile. We've talked about this before. But your comedy rants, your monologues, where you tell stories as characters.

I've listened to those. And I don't want to repeat things too much from the last podcast. But you, you inhabiting the body of a guy who's like a leprechaun. And the stories go on for about 25 minutes.

And there's always so much intelligence behind them.

There's the up with people kind of guy who's it. You clearly quickly realize it is whole family's been like murder. And he's sexually assaulted. And he has to show up now. And he's late because everyone was being.

He just got away with his life as always family has gone.

“And he has to be enough with people guy.”

There's a character he does called Don de Milo. That when when we're doing something together, and he goes into Don de Milo. And he goes away. And the posture comes in and the eyes go out and his voice comes in. And I hear little Don de Milo.

The ethical director, Don de Milo. I look at the 80s in general. Wonderful to be here. I direct the rockets in the radio city. Music call Christmas big day.

That's just fed out of you. Is that your big claim to fame the rock? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't mess around with the, you know, the page. The live nativity seed in the baby's ear.

I focus on our all kids. Beautiful ears with legs. All exactly the same eyes. Because that's weird. It's a little strange that there's this holdover from the Zigfeld

Follows in the middle of the children's Christmas show. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I took, we took our daughter when she was little to that show. And it is really funny. It's like, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh.

And they're Santa and there's elves and everyone's having a good time. Bring out the girls. Bring out the girls. Bring out the girls. Kids girls.

Kids kids. You got to give these kids their money's worth. Yeah. We have a rotating cast at 300 girls. All that same eyes.

That treats me out. Like you, you have, yeah, it's very specific. Yeah, weird. We should tour where you do that character. And I do my shut up guy.

Let's try it right now. Let's try it right now. Let's go. Shut up. Shut up.

Yes. Hello. Shut up. Shut up. I just wanted to ask you.

And it works. This reviewer walked out after one minute. The brilliant Andy Daily did his best. But Conan shut up guy. Who was 10 times louder in the speakers?

Yeah. Yeah. We've soon found out that Andy Daily's mic had been cut on a Brian's orders. All right. Ask me some questions.

Come on. I'd like to hear about penis beach, please. penis beach. What? Didn't you write the famous penis beach sketch?

I know nude beach. It's cool. Oh, I thought it was called penis. Let's not be crashed. All right.

To sketch that I worked on with. I think, well, Robert's my goal. It started with Robert's Michael's idea. Okay. I believe.

That was the host. Well, we had it kicking around for a while because we couldn't get him to do it. And there was a big controversy because the whole concept of the sketch was a guy's really nervous.

And his friends telling him, you know, get over it. It's not a big deal. And everyone has strategically covered genitalia.

“And was this because they were just just then allowed to say penis on national television?”

I remember it wasn't clear. You could. Yeah. Is how I remember it? No.

We used to do it. I was in Chicago at the. It was at the Victory Garden Theatre. Okay. In Chicago, summer of 1988, we did a show there called Happy Happy Good Show.

And this sketch did really well. I would. I think there's a guy who's on stage. And he's holding a beach ball in front of his dick. But other than that, we're all naked.

And he's nervous.

It's his first day at a nude beach.

And I think Robert's Michael is counseling him and saying, you know, don't worry about it. It's just the most natural thing in the world. You'll even forget your naked because we just hang out and we talk. And then I think I walk in and say to an advocate. It's strategically placed.

And I walk in and say, hey, Bill. And he goes, hey, this is my friend Steve. And I go, hey, Steve. And I go, hey, penis looking good. And then he goes, I don't think so.

And your penis is looking pretty good too. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm using a new cream, you know, whatever. And then other people walk in.

And all we talk about is penises.

“I believe you're over 30 repetitions of the word.”

I was 30 as conservative. That's in the first minute. And then it gets down to, hey, what, what do you do with your penis? Well, I found a really good measurement for my penis as to, you know. And it's where it's all we talk about.

But as Ziff, we're just talking about the weather. And then I think my big contribution was it should end with, hey, let's sing a song. And it's all about penises. And it's just the word penis penis penis. And we did this sketch.

And it really did really well in Chicago. And we took the show to LA. I did well in LA. And then we took it to SNL. And immediately, we're in a room with NBC brass.

And they're saying, you can't do this. And it took a while. But then I think Matthew Broadrick came on the show. And we had insisted. Yeah.

We took a stand. We fought for it. And we got it. We got it done. Uh-huh.

But isn't it one of the only sketches that was edited out for the rerun? Like it doesn't. I didn't know that. Okay.

But it's not for the tape delay in the West Coast, but for the second area.

Yeah, right. Impossible. Yeah. Yeah. There were a lot of complaints.

And I remember when that aired. Yeah. We talked about that in my family. And loved it. It was a big thing because, you know, later on, people would say, you know, because we

would, our defense was it's part of the body. Uh-huh. And we're not saying anything gross about the penis. We're just mentioning penises. Right.

And so. But yeah. We were, I mean, I like to think we were like Rosa Parks. Oh. Oh.

Can we edit that out? Just take a second. We took a really brave stance. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

We also canceled canceled. But also, I am under orders, Conan, to ask you about the Taylor Swift wedding. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. I don't want to, I take no pleasure.

You know, we haven't talked about it. Uh-huh. My wife and I did go to that wedding. You did? Yeah.

I have, so my daughter's, she's 19, and she's heard some rumors about the wedding. Mm-hmm. Can I run these by you? Okay. I see if they're true.

And I've been very discreet because I respect their privacy and I, uh, I do. I do. I'm just laughing at that. I'm just laughing at the thought of them having privacy. [laughter]

Doing what I'm trying. I'm trying. I know other people have talked, but I'm changing. But I will answer your questions if I can. Okay.

All right. I have heard that some guests were required to arrive at the wedding five hours before the wedding began. That is one rumor I heard. And I don't think that's true.

And I've heard that there were-- I showed up five hours early. Uh-huh. To a warm event. And no one was there.

No one was there. And then someone said, "Can you just start unfolding these seats?" And I said, "Sure thing." [laughter] So, and I, um, I help with floral arrangements.

I got there very, very early. You did. And I do?

“I think that's the reason I got invited.”

Was they know that I'm a good worker? You were willing to help out. And my invitation did say, "Could you show up early and bring work clothes?" [laughter] The dress code is janitor cover-holds.

Yeah. And I was like, "Well, I guess so." And then I was like, "Why is they including on mop in the dress code?" But they did. Bring your own mop?

Yeah. Basically, her rumors all kind of have to do with, like, there was a tier of guests who had to get there early. Did not have chairs and, um, had to spend all this time without their phones, like, five hours waiting for the wedding together.

People gave up their phones, which is, I think, a good idea. First of all, I will say this for me anyway. I would like my phone confiscated all the time. I am so much happier when I don't have my phone.

You know, when I'm with my wife, she always has her phone.

So if there's God forbid, someone really needs to get in touch with us, or something happens, or a kids need to talk to us. Yeah, she has her phone. But I think it's now a great luxury not to have a phone. I agree.

And, um, I think they should be taken away from all of us. Uh, but, um, yeah, I don't, none of that sounds familiar to me.

Everyone had a seat. Why?

These are very important questions.

“They're not boring because they get, they imagine.”

They're a ceremony. They're a ceremony. They're a ceremony. They're a ceremony. No, no, there's a ceremony where everyone is seated.

Okay. Some were punished. I mean, I was dressed as a custodian and did not have a seat. Right, okay. And that was the only person.

Well, the heart of the things that she's heard and is concerned about that. Yeah, I didn't know. There's the part where you sit and you watch this wonderful, beautiful wedding occur. The ceremony and Adam Sandler was brilliant and really sweet and perfection. And I keep bothering him because we're friends.

I keep telling him how it's one of the finest things I've seen a person do. He just hit the tone. He was funny. He was sweet. It was perfection.

They were lovely. I just was very heartwarming. The whole thing was just absolutely beautiful.

And people have said this, but I'll just double down.

It was really sweet and real. And then there's like a reception where there's places to sit. But you didn't want to sit. You know, mostly people are standing and talking. There's music.

There's music. Like musical chairs. And that chair was taken away every 10 minutes. And then if you couldn't find a seat, you had to leave. That is true.

And the weird thing is the person taking the chairs away was Taylor. Uh-huh. Which I thought, and it's just that she was busy taking chairs away. And it was, I guess, a prank that Travis talked you're into. And no, everything you're saying is insanity.

I don't know. It's your, it's a family. It's a family. It's a family.

“Is there any chance that your daughter's daughter's reading?”

The Daily. Is it really cute? The Daily News. I feel like I'm looking for scoops, Conan. Yeah.

Your scoops are so crazy. Yes. It's been well documented that McCartney played and Stevie Nixon. It was just fantastic that he would play. And my favorite thing is McCartney's playing a song.

Yeah. He's playing. I want to hold your hand. And a guy just then went, hey, Conan. I just want to tell you.

So on your podcast. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And I like Mr. Chunk of it because, you know, I'm not going to be, yeah. Yeah.

But didn't he also stop everyone's in a while and then everybody had to sit down. That's true. There was no way McCartney was playing the musical chairs music. He was providing the musical chairs. Oh, yes.

I was here saying. And so she would give him a high sign. And he would stop. Yeah. And then everybody had to play and iconic.

Beetle song.

He's never played live before.

And then he would stop. Taylor herself would rush over. Yeah. Remove all these chairs. And then Paul would say, go Paul and he would start to play again.

And he was on the bed. And then I remember it. I saw Lauren Michaels fall because he thought he had a chair and he didn't. A lot of people were going down. A lot of people got very badly hurt.

And they were, they were helicoptered out, which has not been in the press, which is weird. Well, it was a blindfolded musical chairs. No, that was the fun part. I guess.

Yeah. I didn't get what that was for, but it was so that we would sit. So yeah. A lot of people got hurt. I thought it was a weird use of McCartney to make him sing Beatles classic.

He's doing like side two of Abbey Road. He's stopping everything. He did. He sang for hours and hours and hours. And everyone, the chairs kept getting taken away.

Again, by Taylor herself, who at this point is drenched in sweat. Yeah. And then people just start sitting down and breaking their hips. Everyone broke their hips at night. My wife broke her hip.

I broke the left side of my hip. And then I broke it. The right side later on when I got drunk with my dog. And because you know, you got to talk it down with someone. Sure.

And yeah, it was, that was a crazy night. This is the kind of, well, you know, you go. He's like, who won the musical chairs? Great question. The great question was Bradley Cooper.

Bradley Cooper won. And then he was such a dick about it. Yeah. He anticipated he was going to win because he's very good at musical chairs. So he had these two shirts made that said, I won fuckers.

Wow. And he's had a T-shirt cannon. He was firing them, but not into a crowd. He was walking up to people's faces and point blank. T-shirt can you?

Yeah. And so I saw him shoot.

“I think do a leaper right in the face with a T-shirt cannon.”

She went right down. She'd already broken her hip. I mean, it was, and then one point, they opened, I didn't know they could open the roof of Mass Square Garden, but they opened it up. And it just, it was all helicopters, hell of acting, people out.

Half of them hurt with because of the musical chairs. And then half of them shot in the face at point blank range by Bradley Cooper. Because he had won the musical chairs. With T-shirts he had made beforehand and anticipation of his victory. So my point to you is that I can't believe none of this got out.

My daughter has some inklings about it. Yeah. And I saw you at one point, I did want to get some treatment for something else. I'm really at it. These other accidents.

I just had some bad chill fish. So I was being hella backed out. And I looked down and I saw what I thought was you wearing a press hat. And you're on 33rd Street.

Yeah, and I kept waving to you because I thought this was a Finally, a big scoop. And you wouldn't look up because I guess you have neck issues. You can't look up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't, it's just fine. I just can't report anything that's above like. I level. So all your scoops were about, well, I'm still looking right at I level. And I see nothing of concern here.

When most every celebrity in the world is being hella backed out with a dangerous injury. Right, right above you. Well, that's for someone else to cover, I guess. I'm just like whatever the day we use is not going to cover anything that happens that I have to crane my neck up or down.

You can only see, you have no professional vision and you can only see straight ahead. This is her ear reporting. I agree. But there's nothing can be done about it.

Many times you'll be out and something amazing will happen.

And some will say, oh my god, look at that. And you'll say, only if I could.

“Yeah, so that's, you know, I think I've given the most accurate reporting of what happened.”

Is that what kind of wedding you bring a gift to you? Because I mean, you don't have to say I brought a rice cooker. And you know what, it was used. You just when I had in college. They don't make these anymore.

And I'm not even sure it's meant to cook rice. It's a good chance that it's something that you heat, you know, infected scalp with, but it's scalp infected scalp. Yeah. You know, if you get those boils on your head the way I do sometimes.

Oh, so you put it on your head. Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought that was a. A scalp that was not attached to a head.

Yeah, me too. But had somehow become. Mine's still attached. Okay. Yeah.

Um. Yeah. That is a good question. What was gifts? What gifts?

In our gifts. I didn't do a gift. Oh, I think you have a year after the wedding. Yeah. I didn't do that.

I didn't do that. But they didn't have like a little clause in their invitation that's like, please no gifts were mega billionaires here. They were still so. Well, that's just rude.

You're assuming she has a lot of money. And you're assuming he has a lot of money. That's not cool. I don't think that's rude. No.

First of all, that's just.

Oh, everyone in entertainment is just super wealthy. I think they're barely getting by. You know what I mean? And for you to assume that because she sells out tours all over the world and is been one of the probably the biggest star in pop culture of the last 15 years that she has

money. That's a terrible assumption. I guess you know, it is. It's very. It's narrow-minded of you.

And I think. An offensive.

“I'd like to apologize to them because I think you're right.”

And that way, I'm sorry, you're an asshole. Very good. Okay. For a minute. I thought we're losing him.

We're losing his position for a second. He's back. He's back. And all systems go. Okay.

If you ever faint instead of smelling salts, they're going to grab me and put my head right next to yours. And you're just going to be completely out of it. And then you're going to go here. You're an asshole.

And then you'll be. You'll have the same heart rate as an Olympic athlete. Do you want to apologize for anything? Oh. No.

No. I can't think of anything I should apologize for. You. You came here today. Yes.

You know I was asked to. You. Yes. You were asked by our bookers. And then I did try to stop you.

Oh, okay. I didn't know that part. This is my favorite kind of podcast of all because it's all just foolishness. What do you mean? Folder all and fluffy.

It makes me really happy. Well, it makes me so happy.

“This is the most substantive interview I've ever had in my life.”

I know what this talk. You thought this was like 60 minutes. Right. Why are you grilling? This guy's really drilling into me.

I want to mention again. You're the host of the Andy Daily Podcast project. Oh, yeah. I'm Patreon.

And how can you've never had me on that?

What's the problem? I actually did. No, I know. But bananas for bananas. That's part of it.

Oh, yes. Yes. I did do that. But you know, you could have me back. It's all I'm saying.

And I'll tell you something else. Yeah. I don't remember gunning a chat. Oh, really? Yeah.

It's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go.

I just says, yeah. That's probably true. Hey, wait a minute. You never paid me for that. I catered your party.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, I guess it is. You know, all right. I'll send you a check.

And I'll invite you back. And this time I'll pay you before. Also, the scoops I just gave you on a T-swift wedding. They're huge. What do you see the Daily Mail get a hold of this?

You know? The Daily Mail? Yeah. I mean, the British tabloids love this stuff. And everything I just revealed is huge.

Yeah. We should monetize that. How so? I'm not sure. Well, I'm not good at Daily Mail for their name.

Yeah. They should not. I forgot. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You're going to win. I think you're going to win. I'm going to win the lawsuit. Yeah. I mean, it's, say, the Daily Mail.

Andy Daily. It's the same word. And your mail. You know what? Yeah.

Well, you don't even, quote, email Jason.

You don't even need a lawyer. You're going to just get in front of a judge and say that. Yeah. How are you going to dress as a lawyer? If you, as a, when you're a reporter, you wear a hat.

What are you going to wear? You're going to wear an, an English wig. But Daily Mail is a UK based newspaper. Yeah. You're going to have to go to an England.

Yeah. I have to. I got to show up in one of those wigs and a robe. But still put a little press thing in there. Yeah.

We're a, we're a fact. Just wait with a little press card and go. I'm here for justice and possibly a scoop. I didn't know. But in your terrible British accent.

Obviously, for justice and possibly his group. And possibly his group. He could go either way. Oh, I know. Wait.

True or false.

In the second grade, the first CD you ever bought was Rod Stewart's.

Do you think I'm sexy? That is true. It was a, it was a, it was a, it was a vinyl record. You bought the record. Of course.

Why would a kid in second grade buy? Do you think I'm sexy? Well, I had to chew. I was at the same good. And I didn't know the answer to the question.

He just played it for girls individually. And he just played it for us to get there for a minute. I just love him inviting a girl and sit down. Sit down, Abby. And she'd sit down and you would, you'd be wearing your press hat with your card.

And you'd put it on. If you think I'm on it, and you think I'm sexy. And you're just looking at her. And then you take the needle off the record and you go. And no answer the questions to the question.

No next next. And there's a line of 900 girls. Well, I had, I was trying to choose between Alice Cooper's record. Because he had been on them up at show. And I liked his record.

Yeah. And, and Rod Stewart's record.

“And I chose Rod Stewart because that song, do you think I'm sexy was the big hit at the time?”

Sure. And I assumed the whole album was going to be that great. It really was not.

But I did bring it into the second grade classroom.

Probably the reason I remember it's the first album I ever bought is that we were allowed to bring in our, our favorite music to play for the class. And I brought that record. And I had to go for the provocative album. Yeah, do they let you do?

Do you let you play it? Yep. They let me play the big hit. And then you did the penis sketch for the whole class. And you were an interoperative enthusiast.

Yeah. And then catch you extra year of school. A child is thrown out the window. I think later his hat is tossed out after him. You are a force for good in the universe.

Thank you. Andy B. Daley. Close. I just left to give you an nickname. A middle initial.

I have no idea what it is. What is your middle name? It's the letter J. The consummate asks. God bless you.

Please come back very soon. I will. I'd love to. And. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Okay. I'm going to drop guys. It's sweeping the nation. We have some important topics to discuss. And it involves a show called Big City Greens.

Yeah, baby. And I don't know much about this show.

“But Blake, why don't you take it away and lead us into it?”

Big City Greens. A couple of my friends, Chris and Shane Houghton have a great show on Disney Plus. And they asked us. Matt and so on and myself to do voices on this animated show. And we did.

And it was great. Do you realize you punched certain words there? Completely unnecessarily. What do you mean? He asked us to do voices.

He's a voiceover. I thank you. I am emphasizing certain words because it adds to the drama. Okay. All right.

Incredible. That was pretty good. This is an audio medium, by the way. It is. Sure.

Yeah. Sure. We have microphones. It's okay. I just want people to continue listening.

Oh, God. But do you want to say we said right before we started? I just said it's better when I because you suggested maybe you start off the excitement. And I said I don't think that's a good idea because people listening will think it's an amber alert. It's very funny.

Yes. And they'll start looking for that. Tell you how to camera with a certain license plate on the highway. You see, if little Billy's okay. But so so play.

This is exciting. Happy fear friends. They have this show. I love this show. I love this show.

I love this show. I love this show.

“Why, I think there's room for us all to love it.”

It is. No, I mean, I mean, it's like one of those kids shows. It's not. I don't even know if it's a kid show technically, but it's like very funny. And I think adults and kids can enjoy it when my kids were little.

There were shows that I watched with them that I loved because, you know, they were really little and they they wanted to see. Oh, I don't know. Dora the explorer or Kiu. Um, and I say to Dora or Kiu.

Yeah, no, no shade. No shade. Well, I just think they should tell us what disease does Kiu have. Okay. That's right.

You got to come forward.

Kiu. I thought it was creepy.

“They would do that thing where they'd go like, what should we do to find our way?”

And then Dora would kind of look around and look out at the screen.

And this was the chance for the kids to go map and should say that's right. Map. I was driven mad by this. So I used to shout out the wrong thing. Like what?

Okay. Dora would say, how do we, how do we find our way? And Dora would want me to say map. And her eyes would dart and look out of the TV at me. And I would say, you know, spatula.

Oh. And she'd go. That's right. Map. And I enjoyed it because it made it seem like she had lost her mind.

So no, I wasn't having that. Kiu. I swear to God. Needs help. But then my kids got a little older when they started watching these two shows that were just brilliantly funny.

Team Titans go and gum ball. And these shows were fantastic. And I thought these shows are funnier than most of the edgy comedy that I that served up to me. Big city greens is like that. Big city greens is like that.

Well, great. I'm going to check it out. Yeah.

So it's word girl on PBS.

What's word girl about? And I was like, why is this so funny? And it's really short. But it's like Ellie Kemper's in it. Amy Sedaris is in it.

It's like like a lot of high pedigree people. It's awesome. It's on PBS. We also have, they sent a picture of Matt and so on as characters. Oh, cool.

We were, we were like produce. That's our, that's our, that's our. They're the enemies. We do the enemy. We play the villains.

Oh, my God. That is so cool. That's great. You have it. Matt has a t-shirt cannon.

I'm lavender. And I'm, I just have it. Dick, look on my face. Oh, I'm glad you finish it. So they spent hours.

You know what they did? They spent hours studying so on. Yeah. Right. We're best produce.

We're the bad guys. Because the whole thing is about a small farm in the middle of the city. Right.

“And they are at the farmers from what I remember, which is like the Oscars for farms.”

No spoilers and play with your characters. Okay. And then I'm going to say, I'm one. I play farmers, Akariah. I'm in the middle.

But they didn't give me any lines. I think I'm also that guy on the left. Wait, did you start this whole thing by touting your vocal skills and how it's an audio medium and your friends. Yeah.

Your friends wrote a part for you. Well, you don't speak. What does that tell you? What does that tell you? Maybe they're listening to the podcast and realizing,

that's the sixth time he broke my post speaker. They just had me grunt. Just do a bunch of grunts. Do one. Yeah.

I was like. But also I will say to your point, Conan. They had me. This is not a joke. They probably had me do 12 or 13 takes of grunts.

Yeah. So I guess I'm just terrible. No. I'm pretty bad too. Well, how many grunts did.

How many times do I have to do grunts, man? I mean, you could just do a grunt. I mean, you do a good grunt. Hmm. See?

That's there. Well, they're going to take that from this. They put it in the shell. Yeah. You grunt.

You grunt. You grunt, bitch. Oh, that's it. That's a good grunt. That's a good grunt.

Yeah. Okay. Terrible. Uh. I don't trust it.

I love when I do improv. Like, you're supposed to be super supportive. Everyone around you and I'm like, no. Yeah. Bad choices.

Okay. I look at us because I'm in Toy Story 5. We're all getting. You had to. I knew you were going to mention that.

No. I'm going somewhere with this. The point I'm making is that we are all getting voice over work. And it's because of this podcast. People are hearing our moliffulous tones.

And they're like, give me some of that. I want that in my movie or in my TV show. That's all I'm saying. You know what I want to do? What?

ASMR audiobooks. audiobooks? After dark erotic fiction. Oh. The lady was ready.

Oh, my God. You'd be so mad. The lady was like, he was so boring. Wait, with the most erotic thing, you can think of the lady was ready.

The lady. Wait, that's all my wife says it. The lady was ready. The shoe salesman approached. What are you looking for?

I'm thinking of something that's comfortable. But I could potentially wear it to an outdoor garden party. It was precisely for the people. The lady was ready. The lady was ready.

Some were out somewhere. Somewhere out there. There's one person going. Now that's my jam.

“Would you put a lot of like crunching noises and stuff?”

And isn't the idea to have different tones? I guess that's kind of. You might be thinking a little bit more of muck bang. No, I wasn't.

Because I've never heard that before.

Blake, for God's sake, you explained it. You did a muck bang in the Korean episode of Conan Without Borders. It's where you-- I don't know what muck bang is. So how could I have done something that I've never heard of before?

People are eating on mic. It's eating.

It's awful. Yeah, yeah. It was called muck bang.

Yeah, it did me go to muck bang.

Didn't we go-- It was a different thing. Did we go to a muck bang? Yeah. We did.

It's an origin in the swamp. Yeah.

Where the ladies are ready.

You're a fool. Which one are you talking to?

“So Blake, when and where can people see this big city”

Green's episode starring Matt Gorley, Son of a Session, and a silent. Aaron Blair. I'll write now on Disney Plus. Great. Check it out.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

With Conan O'Brien, Son of a Session, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

“Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow.”

Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vavino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Sambles.

Engineering in Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

“Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britcon.”

You can write and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 6669-587-2847, and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

You can also get three free months of Serious XM. When you sign up at SeriousXM.com/Cone. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend, wherever fine podcasts are down.