Conan Vs. Edibles Part II

- Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started. - Hello Conan O'Brien here. Normally, this would be a fan interaction of some kind.

This is the drop, I call it the drop. - No. - Where, you know, I talk to somebody in the world. And those are fun. Today we're gonna do a little something different.

And this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on my gummy situation. Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation.

And not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies. - Sure did. - And you, they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous. - Yeah.

- And they're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Isn't that true? - Yes, I did. - What were some of the gummies refresh my mind?

- Some of them were to, you know, live in you up, maybe put some pep in your step. - Yep. - They're all, I'm gonna say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet.

- It's probably in the mail. - A better be. - Maybe. - 'Cause I just said it again. - Also, maybe they're on brand

and they're taken their time. (laughing) They can't get off the couch. - Like, they're all stoners there. - Well, it's a fun little riff.

- Oh. - What, do you say so? - Yeah, pretty funny. - Okay, anyway.

“- Do you have to say that you're riffing?”

- They're like, yeah, but make it funny. - We gotta do we didn't send those? I forget, man. (laughing)

- I'm not there never sending you anything.

- So, I sent ones for sleep. They all different flavors, you know. I gave you a bunch of things that it could help you. - You gave me a bunch and I was excited. I was looking at them all and I thought

this could really change my life. Maybe, you know, a lifetime, a lifetime of being on it. - Well, you can fill in the blanks here, type A. - But don't, don't, don't follow the rules. - Follow the rules.

- L seven, L seven, yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know what love, when you go buzz. - Oh, I gotta do it, but don't make a follow the rules. I can't do anything on, it's not love.

- But what is this part? - Oh, put the, put the, put the, put the, put the, put the, put the. - That's how I, I don't, that's my impression of you. It's like, oh, gosh, guys, don't do that. Guys, guys, it can cry, your brain cells, everybody.

- Yeah. - So, you were just, you're a straight lace. - That's a straight lace. - Straight lace. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - It's not a bad thing. - Well, after what you just did, after that whole run, I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg.

Sent from the future to destroy humankind. - Yeah. - So, I need to come clean. People are probably, we think fans are saying, oh my god, Conan got these gummies, what happened?

'Cause he promised he was gonna go off and do them. And this is the hilarious part. It's now been, I think, two weeks. - Yeah, it's been a minute. - Yeah, it's been a minute.

Why did you said two weeks? - I don't know why you did. - And then it is a cool way to say it. - All right, yeah. - Well, I'm not the factual.

(laughing) Two weeks is the appropriate time spent. - All right, here's the update.

“And I think this is gonna have to be a work in progress.”

And I have turned taking gummies into a chore. - I have turned taking gummies into a, I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in. - I know.

- That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently the best gummies one can get. - Camino. - Camino, yes, yes. - He mean, they mentioned this, mean.

(laughing) - Cheat and chong work there? - Yeah, they do. So, I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one.

(laughing) - And, literally, I wanna say less than half.

First of all, they're delicious.

They are. - They are really, they taste great. And I think paired with the right one, fantastic. - Okay. - So anyway, I had, I wanna say maybe I had a quarter.

And I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, let's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you at Wordo. (laughing) At Wordo, basically.

- At Wordo, it's so disappointed. - At Wordo, famously called me a little bit. On the podcast, because he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy. And so anyway, you're being proven right at Wordo.

'Cause what I've managed to do in two weeks

“is I think on two occasions, nibbled on maybe a quarter of one.”

And it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever, a mouse embryo, lived long enough to nibble on the corner of a sleep gummy.

(laughing) And I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So of course I felt nothing so far. And that's nothing on Camino, big supporter. He means me, but, you know, I haven't gone whole hog.

it's called the "Zilleries." - It's called like, no, there's one called "chill." - Oh, yeah, "chill" too. - I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it.

I was born, kind of leaning into life. - In the fair. - Yeah, and I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. "Chill" is the one that interested me.

I have not tried one yet, and I'll look at it and I'll go, well, try and get to it tonight. - I don't know, yeah, go ahead. - When you said that you're treating it like a chore, I did, I think we were on the phone on Friday,

and David was there. - Yeah. - I begged you to take them to try it over the weekend and you were like, kind of grown up. - Oh, because Adam is like, we need this.

The fans he did, Adam is always wielding his whip

“and Adam is like, you need to get to this.”

This needs to be a segment and the fans are waiting and you're about to leave for your next travel show and you'll be gone for two weeks. - And I started to go, "Okay." So I've got a guy on the phone nagging me,

and he could have been someone from the IRS saying, "Do you gotta file your return on the 15th?" And I'm going, "I'll get to it." I just haven't had it. I'm going to go find a shoe box of receipts.

That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from? Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like take a gummy? - I think you have to. - Okay.

- And- - And- - And then I'll be put it in my calendar. - Ooh. - Ooh. - Ooh. - So I'm aside, is that it? I'm like, "Are you kidding me?" - I think you're just, you're overthinking it.

Look, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. We're not, you're pressuring you. Are we, you're pressuring me? - You're just, that's the dictionary definition of what you're doing. - Yeah, we are. - Yeah, we are.

- You are my peers. - You are my peers. - Yeah. - And you are inserting enormous. (laughs) - And where do I call me a little bit? - That is just what I mean. - That is just what I mean.

- That was a peer pressure, that was just an observation. (laughs) Between your little bit, Adam calling me anxiously and saying, "We gotta get on this." Yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure.

But I'm going to, I'm gonna do it.

I'm just, if we can be real here for a second.

I come from, you know, as you know, my dad, a doctor, and he, I mean, I just grew up. He was against us taking anything. I mean, you know, aspirin was like a big leap.

“- Do you know what I mean? - And so, that's why,”

that's probably-- - That's why he was high all the time. - My dad? - I don't know. - Yeah, he was. - You know my dad was, you know my dad was Jamaican. (laughs) He was Jamaican.

He was in a scog group in the 50s. (laughs) He was. - He just got, you know, my dad was in a scog, very good scog band in Jamaica,

and then he emigrated to Boston in the late 50s, and his stage name was O'Brien. (laughs) And then he cut his hair and became, you know, microbiologist

at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston. - Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know, taking an edible than doing, like taking an anti-biotic, for instance. So I think we would have been on--

- Well, no, he would have been okay with the correct antibiotic. My dad was a, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about. - After his scog band.

- Yeah, you know. (laughs) - He's, I'm sorry, his scog band was antibiotic resistance. (laughs) And it was a name that really was on popular Jamaica.

And Jimmy Cliff was telling him, you got to change that, and he was like, hey, man, you know, and it's a whole thing, I mean, I, so anyway, he would have been in favor, he was in favor of antibiotics, this is, my dad was not like an RFK junior,

he was in favor of the right correct antibiotic. He just didn't like what when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem, and has caused a lot of resistant bacteria in my huge issue,

and I bring that up in my dad's memory, and I think he was correct. Obviously, he was correct. But anyway, getting back to the fun part,

“I think that, no, my dad would have been like,”

what, you don't take something that, but you want to relax? That would have led to who it has said. You want to relax? You want to, you want to not be on guard

for a second? What are you talking about?

So that's the culture I come from. You know, we, we've got to go to Catholic Church, we've got to, we've got to stay on it, and that's been my, that's been my way. Okay, but I think it's, it's only because

you've expressed some interest in it. That's why, yes, we think it'll be, and I just do a little dabble. But I just say that, again, no peer pressure. I'm also, I'm also doing it.

Let's do it. I'm also intrigued by the thought of an orgy.

There's a lot of things that intrigue me, but I don't think I'll try it.

“Am I intrigued by the idea of their being nine naked bodies?”

All of us rolling around on a massive bed? You know, and there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things that are flipping and flopping. You know, a shirt, a shirt.

Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have. (upbeat music)

If you grow up Catholic the way I did, there are all these things, the notion of it, titillates you, I just said titillate. That's the same titillate intrigued me for a long time.

And I just said it for the first time.

Things excite you, but you, oh God, you know, it's forbidden fruit, you don't go there. So for me, that's the chill gummy. Now, I think I made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy.

That's true. And you felt nothing. Well, yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand. At all, that's on me, I'm six four.

Yes. 163 pounds, if pure beef, I'm also a red head, so you're beef. Well, I'm sorry, I am. Very muscular.

Yeah, uh-huh. And people are surprised when they, you know. You were in great shape. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligrams would be.

I'm not ready to do that yet. That's okay. Baby steps.

Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery.

That's a regular part of my life. I bought a, I bought a forklift about a year ago. And one of my ways of relaxing is just driving around the neighborhood and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse.

So, you know, you can't, you can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift. But no, I'm gonna get to it.

“I promise, but I think it's, this is unintentional.”

It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited. And I've turned it into something I need, I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious.

It is really funny the way you're over it. Oh, here we go. Well, can I just ask a question, which is, you're doing it right now? Let's go.

Which is, which is, you've had beer and wine and alcohol. And it wears off.

I mean, this is the same thing.

It's not like you're gonna take a gummy and then forever you're gonna be. Okay. Let me, let me adjust that. Let me adjust that issue.

I know exactly what you're saying. And I think it's a fair point. I really don't, you know, I try not to drink a lot these days. And, but yeah, I just been in an altered state

and boy, am I funny? Very funny.

“I'm really, really funny when I've had a few.”

But, but, I mean, God, it's like whole next level. And if you think this was good, you know? We should do a thing where I'm gonna have a couple glasses of wine. And then if people were, but you know, it's gonna be like,

you know, often hires, often time we're seeing the big light. People can't handle it. We're gonna have to put on, no, seriously. We're gonna have to tell people who listen to the pod,

Conan's gonna have a couple glasses of wine. Everyone needs to get into some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little switch. You have to have glasses made of lead, 'cause it's gonna be that kind of thing.

It's fun. And then serious is gonna call and go, you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. I thought, what are we gonna do now?

So any hoots, be that as it may? Yeah, that is a true thing. I think I grew up in that era where, I mean, I grew up in a dry house. My parents didn't drink.

There was no liquor in the house or there was nothing. So I took a brave step by having some red wine. You know, I didn't, so that was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then, but then you add gummies, marijuana.

And it's, what's that? Yes. You add, God, you're here. No one adds to a story like you. I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it.

I, I come from that era where if some, I'm even my uncle, Gavin calling them like jazz cigarettes. Oh, my uncle Gavin came to sat an ant live. And he was, he came to a taping of sat an ant live. And afterwards he was amazed.

He saw it live. He got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue. And he saw a G.E. Smith in the band play. And he came out afterwards. And I remembered Bob Oden Kirk and I were standing there

and he went, Jesus Mary and Joseph, that band. Tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jam down his bootleg. Oh my God, that's the era I come from. Look, you're, you're going to the Netherlands. You're going to the, like weed capital of the world.

Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore. Because I think LA is the weed capital of the world.

Well, they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not there for coming at all? You know who's coming on this trip?

Who never comes on trips? Oh, my wife lives.

Hey, Liza.

“Yeah, but she, you know, what if I say, hey, what's it a cafe?”

And I'll have some, what can you come at me? In my poverty, she's going to say you will not. You know? I don't know. I think she'd be into it.

No, she's not a Bobby McFerran, you know? She's not a, she's not a, she's not a don't worry. Be happy for a second. Oh, okay. She said, you'll better tow the line.

See? And I'm like, yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. So, um, and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely. No, I'm not. Oh, my God.

You think you're going to relax and have fun? Not on my watch. Yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. Yeah, I'd so insane. I know. I won't take this lies of blessing.

She is the mother of my children. She is an angel and I just totally portray her. But maybe there's a grain of truth who knows. I don't think she's going to be the one saying, hey, you better. You'll get fucked up.

That's not lies either.

So, look, if it was me going on this trip,

sans my wife, and Jeff Ross is there going. Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup. Let's go. Let's get fucked up. Just going to have the best time on this trip. Yeah, we'll play too, play.

You're going to enjoy it. Yeah, we're going to have some fun. Yep. Well, okay. Well, maybe you get fucked up in those places. We go. Oh, snapty, daddy. Yeah, yeah, it may even places where he shouldn't be.

He meant it to just have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me. Nobody is the answer.

I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is, wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to? This is why you need a dummy.

You just put a lot of light inside your mind. Yeah, this stops. This, you're just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look, I do your own time.

“Don't feel like you have to, but you should.”

Oh, no. Got it. I did this on Kimmel. People loved it. Where I froze my face.

Yeah. Yeah. It's good for an audio medium. Yeah. Everyone must make.

Yeah, he's. So I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But you know, that whole thing of Amsterdam. I don't think that holds water anymore.

Because literally, this street lights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana. That's true. That, you know, tightly packed, woven marijuana. Um, I partake from time to time.

[LAUGHTER] And if you miss a day, come on. Be honest. No, there are some days where I can't. Because I have to remember.

It was very different from I partake from saying, hey, occasionally, there's a moment when I can't. It's very different from I partake from time to time. From time to time, I partake. But if I ever went to Amsterdam,

I would definitely enjoy doing it. You take gummies the way a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin. Oh, my gosh. [LAUGHTER]

Constantly. What are you talking about? You and shut yourself with gummies. Like what gummies. And I'm not, I'm not a total.

I don't wake and bake. I'm not a total pilot. I have children. I have to take care of. But at the end of the day, after a long day,

yeah, shut you up. You come as it's called gummit up. What's the cool way to say, take a gummies? I don't know, but I don't think it's gummit up. I don't know what it is.

What do you ride the gumtrain? What do you do? Yeah, I ride the gumtrain. Yeah. You know what?

This, it'll help you with all of this. And I think-- Do we want to help me? That's the other thing. What if--

I didn't propose something. What if I take the chill when I really like it? And I take a little more, and I really like it. And suddenly, I come in here. I don't have any of my psychic wounds.

I don't have any of my old neural groups. I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy, based on neurotic madness. And then suddenly, all of this ends. Oh.

All of this ends.

“I mean, I'm coming in and I'm like, hi, son, how are you?”

What about it? Are you okay? Are you talking to me with respect? Yeah. How are you?

Oh, I hate this. What are you talking about? Just how are you? Oh, I'm doing really well for you. How are you?

- I'm very well-thinking. - Oh, good. - How are you like you're lowering your-- - Yeah, but how are you doing? - Scared.

- Yeah. - This is the new cone. I just had some chill and blaze raising as hanged. - I was gonna talk about, well, I guess just the news today, I guess, what going on on the news, so let's discuss that.

- Yes, what's up?

- That's never gonna happen, and I would also say--

- Wait, how are you? - No, I mean, I welcome you on Mike. - How am I gonna tell you what's up? - Oh, go do it. - That's definitely not gonna happen. - My favorite quote, I've said this before on the podcast.

My favorite quote of yours you ever said was, "We were on a flight going on an international trip."

and you come back to my seat, you're like,

"Hey, how's it going?" I'm like, "Hey, man, what's up?"

“And you're like, you should get some sleep.”

We have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane. You're like, "I took an ambient, and it was like throwing "a tick tack into the sun." - Yeah. - And so let me tell you--

- I burned through Mads. - I mean, when Mads meet my system, they just look, "Yes." - You know, except profofal, which is why I get it.

Which is why I get a colonoscopy every week.

(laughing) I tell them, don't even put a camera back there. (laughing) I said, don't just sketch from memory. You don't need a camera, but, you know,

“I'm always in there, and sometimes I get a colonoscopy,”

and then I sit out there and then I come back in, and I put a mustache on and say, "Mr. Jones." (laughing) And then I put a mustache on my bare ass. (laughing)

So it looks like someone else's ass. (laughing) And they're going like, "I go like that's it." And this is my ass. Mr. Jones is ass.

And then I have my ass go, "No, I've never had a colonoscopy."

And they're like, "Why is your ass talking to us "in a lower tone?" And I say, "Just have the profile and get going." (laughing)

“"I have the most photograph colon of all time."”

(laughing) Seriously, they're thinking of running them all together and having its own channel, (laughing) a streaming channel, nine hundred hours of all colon.

(laughing) I love the pro. I love the pro. I love the pro. But yeah, so there will be another episode

where I update you because I am going to do it. Oh, Mark, my words, I promise you, I shall take the chill gummy and I'll take a whole sleep gummy and we'll see what happens.

Okay. You know what I mean? No pressure. All right, well listen. I look forward to this.

And it will be the end of the podcast as we know it. 'Cause I relax Conan, not a fun Conan. That's all I'm gonna say. Who's the little bitch now at Wardell? (laughing)

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Son of Movesesian, and Matt Corley. They're produced by me, Matt Corley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Lyoff. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina.

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