Matt Groening

- My name is Matt Granting and I feel honored.

(upbeat music)

“- About being Conan O'Brien's friend and why?”

Because Conan, you are the Bob Hope of the 21st century. - Oh my God, yes. - So I'm gonna have a huge deal with Texaco. (laughing) Stick around and show business for a really long time

and confuse the younger generation. (upbeat music) ♪ Fawn is new ♪ ♪ In the old, back to school ♪ ♪ Ring the bell, bend his shoes ♪

♪ Walkin' loose, climb the fence ♪ ♪ Books and pens, I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪

♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪

- Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien. He needs a friend, Son of a Session, hello. - Hello. - And Matt Goroly, how are you? - How are you?

“- Driving to work today, I saw so many whamos.”

- Right, I think I'm right. - I saw, I think in in one minute, I saw six different self-driving whamokars zip-by, Chris Crossing, going this way and that. I started imagining that they were ghosts commuting.

- Oh my God. - Oh my God. - It made me really happy.

It made me really happy because I just thought,

okay, there is an afterlife and you're a ghost, but you still have to get around Los Angeles. You have shit to do, you know what I mean? And they have to sit in traffic, you know, they have to stop and get gas and man.

It's a life's cost and a lot right now. Straight some poor moose or clothes. And so that, yeah, they're just invisible. - They don't fly? - No, they don't fly.

- Okay.

“- What are their ghost jobs that they're going to and from?”

Well, you know, I saw one, it was probably a podcaster. Son of a one who works at Lowe's. - Oh, you know, in the gardening department. So, yeah, they just have jobs like anyone else. And it's funny 'cause sometimes they get into,

you know, there's a little road rage and the ghost will flip someone off, but nobody knows. And so we're just thinking this on the way. - I was thinking all of this while I was driving around and it was making me happy 'cause then I'd see another one

passed by and I'd go like, oh, there's a ghost. He looks like he's late, but they're still on their phones. So there's just a phone floating. - Yeah, there's a phone floating there. They're watching their phones.

They're buying shoes on the internet when they can't wear shoes. It's just sad. - I was on my way to work here one time on one block. I saw a waymo and then one of those cocoa delivery bots and then I shoot you not an orthodox Jewish person

on a hoverboard. You know, those one week they'll show or all on one. - But wait, if you're orthodox, Jew, you can write a hoverboard. - I think something--

- Maybe that's better than after certain traditions. - That's not a Sabbath. - Just on the Sabbath, you can't write a hoverboard. - Right. - That says that in the old times.

(laughing) - No hoverboard on the Sabbath. - Yeah. - That's incredible. You know, those little robots, those cocoas.

Yeah, Coco's. I'm just going to admit that I'm, whenever I see one of those, I want to hit it with a bat. Oh, I don't have any hostility towards it, but it does look like you just want to give it a whack. Because it's going, oh, it's making it. It's making it. It's doing his job. Yeah, he's delivering stuff. I have a lot of, yeah, a ghost just ordered some tacos. I love those little robots. I have a lot of sympathy. But it can't work. I can't believe it's going on. I just think that, you know, it's so hard to get people to follow the social contract and not spray paint over something or not park terribly or not smash something that's nice that's sitting out.

It's very hard to get people to just follow that rule, but once you have a little tiny little robot machine, I'm a lot of that excuse me, excuse me, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I just, I mean, I'm a law-abiding citizen, but I want to smash that, you know, you're not alone as the former operator of a moving trash can. I can tell you a lot of people's instinct was to kick that thing. Not just kids. And just back up in case people aren't aware of your origin story. You, uh, this is your origin story.

This is your being bit by a radioactive spider. You were, your job at Disneyland was to control a robot trash can that would walk around and say, you know, feed me letter and you were sort of in the background with a remote control in your pocket. Yeah, and a lot of little boy kids would come and just start wailing on it. Of course they would. And to the point where I would say in the trash can voice, like, where are your parents? Why aren't they doing anything? Somebody please help me. And he has a bird voice. Did you ever say, oh,

they humanity. I did. He admitted literally. Did you say that? Of course you did. Oh, wow. How am I not? How mad? If you cut me, do I not bleed? A pound of flesh. Oh my god. That's incredibly good. If I had that gig, the things I'd be doing would get me thrown out and maybe Disneyland shut down.

And, you know, saying, like, don't divorce me and things like that to the other trash cans. Like they had a prior relationship.

Yeah, or why wouldn't you talk to me? Did people, did they have to have conversations with you if you cross the line? Was there like a manager, like a trash manager? Yeah, no, no. He had, he weren't goofy. goofy was, oh, I gotta talk to you. He's got his art behind a department of sanitation. And what company gave me acting notes? No, I they left us alone because it was just a one person job. They often forgot about us. So I was just out there on my own for the most part. I just occurred to me, what's trying to do something where we have a little cocoa bot,

call away my way and then get in. Wouldn't that be great? Try to get a cocoa bot. Calls away, man. Yeah, we call or we call a waymo for a cocoa bot. And then, and the waymo pulls up and then the cocoa bot. And we put a little ramp up and it gets in and it goes cocoa bot, it has to deliver something inside the waymo. So that's why it thinks it has to go in and then, I mean, I would just love. Yeah, then it's a robot driving a robot around. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, my boys are at the age where they're always just going to know robot car. No, it's crazy. Isn't that nuts? I think about that all the time. Yeah, I would say that to Glenn just look no one's driving the car and she's like, big deal granddad big deal.

I don't know father, where's my father? Who's this guy? Yeah, talking trash can. I look Glenn bullying you. I think that'd be fun. We're there other trash can guys. We guys are crew. Well, we never worked together because it always said, you know, it was a solo job. Are you friends? Yeah. Did you watch and we're like judge one guy who was better at it than you and you're looking at a man. You're looking at it. You know the best one. It's the only brag I can do. You were the best I'm kidding. I wasn't. Nobody. Is it a brag?

I don't understand. There are other people that you knew that also operated trash cans and you would watch them do it. No, we had to originally to learn the guy a guy came from Florida that built this thing and showed us how to do it.

But I think we all here on the west coast went a little loosey goosey with you. You know what I mean? Sure. Who are you really let loosey? You're in that to hide now, bitch.

Yeah. And the thing would break down all the time and just die. The battery would die in the middle and it would be left. So you like the voice was losing battery. So it'd be like, Oh wait, you'd blow your cover if you walked over and started. You had to. You had to because by then the people were like about to light it on fire. Oh my god. You know what? Everyone's instinct is to trash a robot. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Why?

Because I think they're instinct is to trash us. You know? It's killer be killed.

“Oh, I don't know. They just want to deliver food and drive you place. That's what they want you to think.”

Yeah. Why us? I heard the way mo cars are being controlled by it. People somewhere else. Wait, where did you hear those? I don't know. They're autonomous. No one's controlling them. I think there's a guy to helicopter saying take a ride.

Why is your conspiracy like not the opposite of a conspiracy?

It's people are controlling them. Like radio. Yeah, the food delivery robots, the cocoa robots are controlled by people. And the way mo's also can't have people take over when there's an issue. Yes, yes. They can have people take over. No, but that's different than what you said. Okay. Do you know who deliver robots are controlled by people?

But what do you mean they're controlled by people? Where's the person? It doesn't matter. It's remote. It's remote.

“That's why if you weigh that in, say hi, the person will say hello and it'll wink and stuff.”

Because there's someone sitting in a terminal. Yes. And they're seeing a blinking dot that says it's going down or do they have a camera? They have a camera. It's like a remote control car. So now I can't trash one. No, no.

Because they'll be footage of me on the internet. Yes. I'm being saying, hey, little bitch butt. It's time for you to taste Louisville slugger. Couching.

And then that's all over the internet. Yeah. Those way mo cars too.

“I mean, what's stopping people from just taking off their pants in the back seat?”

What? Who would want to take off their pants? Sounds like you've got a little fantasy. What do you talk about? Oh, my fantasy is to have my bare ass on a commonly used car seat. I can't wait.

And I think people that want to do that prefer a driver in a car. Yeah. I don't know. Or like, you know, just do drugs or do, probably do. Do they do?

Right. Is that, I mean, like, who's stopping you? I think, well, I think they have, like, a spray that activates. I don't think there's a certain variety. Yeah. It's a calming soothing gel.

I don't know. Makes the penis shrivel. Oh. That's true. I've heard that. A calming soothing gel.

Yeah. Well, first it comes.

You and suits you. Okay. Then it makes your Don Johnson take a little holiday. Yeah. Turns your Don Johnson into an already done.

Yeah. I think so. What? And already Johnson reference. God bless you.

God bless you. Yeah. Yeah.

“I think your rough time wasn't already Johnson reference.”

Yeah. That was your recent. All right. Let's do this thing. My guest today is an Emmy award winning writer and animator who created one of the most iconic

animated series of all time. I'm going to say the most iconic. I'm going to go on an limb. Yeah. I don't have any skin in this game or do I.

That's right. The Simpsons. He also created the Hulu series Futurama, which is currently airing its 14th season. Having him on the podcast is, well, it's just been so long overdue. I am ecstatic that this gentleman joins us today.

Matt Grating. Welcome. It is so great you're here. Thank you. Because the fans are going to freak out.

You're a big part of my life changing in this amazing way.

My origin story for people that don't know is I was working on Saturday night live. I was in a funk. I love that job and I loved everyone there. But I thought I need to go. I'm just in a bad place in my life. So I walked away from SNL with no job.

Two of your writers. I think it was a recent gene. I heard that Colonel Brian might be loose and available. So the next thing I knew I was submitting. I don't know some of the sketches.

I had written on SNL. And then I was told you've got a job on the Simpsons.

“And you need to be here like in four days.”

And it really saved my life. Wow. It was as magical part of my life. So I thank you. God do I thank you.

I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't gone there. I want you to know that your old office has been preserved. It is used for storage. And it's right next to my office. And yesterday I asked my assistant Violet.

Let me see Conan's old office. I can talk about it. And she said, no, no, no, no, no, you can't. You can't. I said, and you cannot mention it.

And I said, come on. Just let me see. Please don't talk about it. Please. I beg you.

And I opened the door. And it is floor to ceiling with Simpsons merchandise. Oh wow. Yes. In fact, this is the merchandise that popped out.

Oh my God. Mr. Sparkle. Oh my look at this. And I'd like to do one. Thank you.

These are amazing. Oh my God. That's after your time. This is 1997. But those are.

Love, Mr. Sparkle. Is it like Louzo? What's value if I open it? Yes. Don't.

Okay. You know what I love?

“On the back, Homer's head with bubbles coming out the back is saying.”

Mr. Sparkle. First of all, it says, Mr. Sparkle, I guess, in is this Japanese. And it says, Mr. Sparkle is disrespectful to dirt.

I love these translations that never make sense.

And this is what Homer's saying. Join me or die. Can you do any less? This is a children's toy. Well, what it is.

What it is, Homer found a Japanese detergent box in the Springfield dump. Yes. And he didn't understand why his name was or his face was on the cover of the box. I just love it. It's one of the great episodes.

For Lucky Best Wash, use Mr. Sparkle. I'm disrespectful to dirt. Can you see that I am serious? This is fantastic. Thank you so much.

I didn't mean to tell you not to open it. We should see one. I'll open it. You want to keep ours for steam. You guys keep yours for steam.

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I can think of in all of show business. Because... I saved my rags. Those rags are now in the fortune. I see your rags on eBay all the time.

“You moved to LA in 1977 to become a writer.”

While you're waiting to accomplish that, or even while you're doing it, you're washing dishes at a nursing home, clerking at the Hollywood licorice pizza record store, landscaping in a sewage treatment plant,

and showfaring, and ghost writing for a retired director of Western films. That's right. It's just incredible. Well, so that last job was... I wanted to be a writer.

Of course, looked in the LA Times wanted ads for help wanted.

“And it said, "Wanted writer, chauffeur."”

And so I applied for the job. And I was...

The writer chauffeur for this old movie director who you've never heard of.

And my job was to drive him around during the day. And we'd look at the sides, go through Beverly Hills, and whatever, and he'd say, "That's Tom Mixis House." And then we'd drive by the same house the next day and he'd go, "That's where Laurel and Hardy lived."

And I'd say, "I don't think they lived together." Shut up. [laughter] And then I would listen to his stories. And at night, I would work on his autobiography,

which was this high. Is there a number of previous writer chauffeurs? And in fact, there was one guy... Well, I was out driving around. There was a guy sitting at his house

and the dining room table typing it up. And I just remember reading this. The guy was obsessed with his mother because today was the day I met Cecil B. DeMille. Immediately I ran home to tell mother mother.

I said, "I met Cecil B. DeMille." This sounds like sunset boulevard. Yeah, it's very much. Yeah, it's very much. Wow.

At the age of 88, mother lost control of her bowels. That was the lead sentence of one of the chapters. I thought that was a whole chapter. But getting back to Schwarzschweller, one of my favorite lines in one of the detective novels is

the attached detective up to a lyditector. And they say, "Does it hurt?" And he goes, "Yes, a little." And they say, "You're lying." [laughter] They're unhinged.

They're unhinged in the very best way.

“And I think one of them starts with the detective just getting the classic thing”

getting beat up, but then it turns out that he shows up for his beatings. Because that's his job. In an alley, I mean, it's just... The first line was, "My story begins with me getting punched in the face." [laughter]

You know what's interesting to me is, everyone knows, of course you do. Your first goal was to be a journalist. Right. And what's fascinating to me is,

Mr. Giggs was, if someone was getting a stir on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, if I have this correctly, your job was to, okay, you know, don't not, it's getting a stir on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. You do some research about that, but then you would go out and try and find out exactly where the star was going to be.

And what business it would be in front of, to let people know. Right. Which no one did, right? You'd say, like, "Oh, it's going to be in front of this tobacco shop on Vine." And I tried to get the most degrading store that was closest to the...

[laughter] And there's plenty of them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Trevor. Trevor some Hollywood and, you know, all sorts of... Jill, Jill, Jill, though, Emporium.

Emporium. And you would say, whatever.

“Yeah, this, you know, Miss Mayfield will be getting her stir in front of the...”

Jill, though, Emporium. [laughter] And you kind of got in trouble for that. Yeah, well, they called me up and asked me, "Please, don't say what the store is. The stars are in front of."

Yeah.

And of course, I never stop.

No. [laughter] So, what's interesting is, again, these moments fascinate me. You time travel to, you get a star on the Hollywood block of fame. And you could never ever imagine back when you were writing the stories.

Well, someday I'll have my star. It's... Right. It's ludicrous. Well, it's really fun is to take visitors from out of town and walk down Hollywood Boulevard into it.

Oh, look. Do you like to fight those? [laughter] You're up on my polishing gear, scraping urine off of it. There's a lot of Hollywood stars now.

There's a lot of them. Like, they sort of doubled it up. It's not just, you know. Oh, no, there's... Do you have one?

I do not. No. And nor will I ever have one. I'll see to that. I'm going to work on that.

Oh, please. Do not do that. [laughter]

Promise me he'll never do that.

So many great memories for me. But you couldn't have been prepared for the success of the Simpsons. Because you make a show you hope it just stays on the air. At the time, prime time animation that's, you know, the brainchild of a underground, you know, subversive comic artist.

This isn't going to work. Maybe it will work a little bit, but then it becomes a phenomenon. Yes. And how quickly did you realize that you've hit one of the biggest gushers of all time?

The first indication was that the little cartoon started on the Tracy Home and Show. And they were... They told me at the beginning they brought me in and they said, "We want you to do a two-minute cartoon for the Tracy Home

and Show every week." You can't do anything in two minutes. That's not enough time. And then they called me and said, "No, I'm sorry. I mean, it's one minute."

And then they said, "It's four 15-second cartoon." So the whole thing began with 15-second cartoons. And so my feeling was, well, sight gag, that's always, you know, really quick, quick, quick, sight gags.

is they put some of those cartoons on the, on the beginning of Fox movies.

“And they got applause when the titles came up and they go,”

"Oh, so people are watching already." So that was the first indication. And then when the show came on, we did 13 episodes without a pilot. And Fox first they wanted to do one show.

And we, Jim Brooks refused. And said, "No, we want to do 13." And they did it. And the whole thing, the whole run, was built on those first 13 episodes,

which we had never seen. The results of the animation before they were all written. Because it takes six months to do all the animation. And so we locked out, that's all.

It was an incredible lucky situation.

And then there was the Fox Network brand new, which didn't even hit the entire country. It was regional. Right. And so, but even with the fact that it wasn't in every market in the US,

it was still extremely popular. So that was amazing. I mean, was it the first episode of the Simpsons or the second, what point does it become clear? I mean, I don't remember how quickly,

but I remember it was very fast. I was writing it Saturday night live when the Simpsons debuted. And we were all aware instantly that this was-- Yeah, I think probably second or third episode.

“Yeah, we just knew this is the best thing ever.”

And I think every comedy writer was just, "Oh, my God." I wish I was over there. That's the place to be. And as much as I loved SNL, it was just a phenomenon. And it's, you know, when I leave,

I remember thinking, "I mean, I even think about it." Part of my experience has been, "I leave a show and think." This probably runs for a little while longer. And then it will find its natural endpoint. I thought that about SNL when it was like,

when I was there and it was 14 years old. We had a 15th anniversary special. And I thought, "Well, you know, this pony is going to be put down soon." I think they just had the, now it's 51 or 52 years. And the Simpsons is just, is it--

How many? It's seasons? Oh, my God. We've done more than 800 episodes. That's a lot of pencil mileage. How do you get an animation term?

How do you guys guard against repeat jokes or even themes? Is there someone cataloging an archive as to come in and-- Well, if I were Conan, I would mime an invisible gun. Yeah. We do repeat.

“Our motto now is try not to repeat recently.”

Yeah. Yeah. We know we try, you know, Al Jean is sort of the living frame. Well, he's a living. He's a hippie. I can watch episodes from last year.

I don't remember a single moment. Right. Because when goes in and when goes out. Yeah. Very homery, Simpsons style.

Yeah. And people like Al Jean. And the internet help us say, "Did we already do that joke?" Yeah. And yeah.

I mean, now it's going to be easier and easier to track it down. Yeah.

Because of a little amazing thing called AI.

Just a quick plug for it. No, no. No. Okay. Stop as an AI son I can use.

And now we are-- Because of the internet, we are being congratulated for predicting the future. That was the next thing I was bringing up, which is I've had people ask me.

How is it that you guys, meaning any Simpsons person? How is it you guys, we're able to predict the future? And I'll say you're not being serious.

They're totally serious. They think that the wizards work at the Simpsons. As opposed to it's a volume business. You throw out a lot of things. Maybe you make a joke about yes.

And the president in the future will be real estate, asshole, Donald Trump. And it's just a quick laugh in the room. And then later on, it's a chilling moment of what will-- But there've been so many of them now.

Well, Dan Green, the writer of that line about Trump being president, we've done in 2002 or something. And then Elisa was president. So we don't get everything right. Yeah, exactly.

And he's taken that the heart. And now he dresses up like a prophet. And Dan does. And he's running for president. So I mean here, Dan Green, he was running for president.

Well, vote for him. Yes, of course. Sure. I'm going to see the outfit for us predicting he wins by the way. [LAUGHTER]

These days I would think anyone would have a chance. That's the world we're in right now.

Let's talk about Futurama because I've always believed that there are two really fun things to write.

One is someone who has unlimited wealth, which is why writing from Mr. Burns was my favorite thing. And I think all of us loved it. And you know what? You're doing the voice. I love doing the voice.

And you also attended your finger. I've attended my fingers. Yes, yes. Seems to me. And I loved-- I used to pitch in the voices.

And I thought that's what people did. And people were like, what are you doing? When I first showed up, and I would do the different ones. I don't know. Oh, me.

Maybe. What are you doing? What are you doing? And I thought we'd pitch in the voices and like, no. You don't pitch in the voices.

No one does that. I loved writing from Mr. Burns because it's a kind of silly writing. You can do where he can-- if a character has unlimited wealth and is evil, they can have anything. Anything that can be built by man can exist in that person's dungeon basement.

They can have hyperbaric chambers. They can have escape pods. They can all kinds of sinister things can happen.

The other fun one I always thought would be writing about the future.

It was one of the miracles of the Jetsons I think that made it so much fun to watch was the world's your oyster. You know, you can just writers are completely free to imagine anything.

“And to me, that's why Futurama always made so much sense.”

Was that part of the initial appeal? Well, part of it was looking at the Jetsons, which has the greatest theme of all time. Yes, yeah. He said such things. These apartments and stuff that are unstilks.

And you never see the earth. And I thought, well, let's do the future. What's going on down there? Yeah. It's got to be pretty bad.

Yeah. I love that. It did feel like it allows you to use a whole other area that, you know, the Simpsons can dabble in every now and then if someone's imagine the future. But Futurama just felt like--

It was really fun. And it turns out that science fiction and comedy don't necessarily work together. I mean, you can make it funny. If you're just a piece of advice, if you're doing a science fiction comedy, don't have the rocket ship beef shaped like a salt shaker, for instance.

It's funny the first time, maybe. Right. It's irritating the second time, and it's infuriating the third time. Right. Anything that you see over and over again, make sure you can live with it.

“When the series begins, who are you creating it with?”

It was David X going. Yeah, that's right. Yes. David X going, because there are other David coins in the right field. Is that why you put the X in there?

I always just knew him as David Cohen, but then he put his name in.

He's David S Cohen, but there was another David S Cohen too. And X is pretty kind of futuristic. He's changed to Conan X so Brian. Yes. Sure.

There are other Conan so Brian's out there trying to-- You're wife, but he did change into an X so Brian. Nice. Yay. Congrats.

You're fired. You're fired. By the way, you know, Homer Simpsons seems like a pretty random name. But it turns out it's not the most random name. And we did get a letter once saying, "Thank you for ruining my life."

I can't order pizza. I can't do this. I can't do that. Signed. Fuck you.

Signed. Mrs. Homer Simpsons. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. There's a documentary about all the real people named James Bond.

And what they have to live with is they walk through the days terrible. Well, the other thing is that I, you know, I named the characters after my family. So my father's name is Homer. My mother's name is Mar. I have a sister Lisa and I have a sister Maggie.

And I kind of wrecked their lives. You know? Now, Marges' hair. I know it's kind of model done right at Frankenstein. But also, did your mom?

My mother had a very tall beehive when I was a kid. And from the angle that I was looking at her, it really seems big.

And she always denied it, but I do have photos.

So, and my dad loved the Simpsons except when Homer was mean to Marge. He did not. He got... He called me up. He called me up after there was an episode in which the Simpsons car breaks down in the desert.

Well, the family is sitting under the shade of a big boulder. Marges has to carry a tire back to town. Yeah, yeah. And my dad was so mad that Homer made Marges carry the tire. Yeah.

And I said, he strangles his kid and my dad said, I don't care about that. Do they make you stop the strangling at a certain? Because they know early on there was Homer would really throttle Bart, grab him around the neck and go, ah, you know.

“And I think that went away at a certain point.”

No. It went away in that we got tired of repeating the same joke. But then it wasn't out of concern for chimpanzees. No. We wouldn't do spanking because that's too real.

Yeah, the strangling was very good. That was a very, never bothered me. And by the way, I always didn't pulse it. Yeah. It's always why you little.

And then in general, Bart tries, you know, we just were a frying pan and hits him. Yeah. And Homer gets his come up and there was one episode in which Homer went, why you little already comes over very slowly and strangles him. It was so freakish that we that we cut it.

It's only for some impulsive. So impulsive anger. Impulsive. Impulsive is funny.

In which Homer and Smithers got into a fist fight. And they were hitting each other.

“Smithers had an old fashioned rotary fight.”

He was hitting him in the face and they're back and forth and really harsh. Yeah, harsh animation. And I remember coming to the sound mix. And it's just horrifying. And it was not funny at all.

And we could not figure out how to, you know, we're stuck with the animation show. There's this on a Thursday, the show is going to be airing on Sunday. And we tried, okay, let's make the sound effects funny. You know, Boeing, you know, no, it made it not funny at all.

And so finally, as an experiment,

we took out all the sounds of exertion. And just letting it let sounds of pain. You know, all that kind of stuff. And that made it fun. That is that is my comedy tip there.

Pain is funny. And one of my scripts, I wrote that Mr. Burns wants to kill someone with a baseball bat. It's sort of that thing that's, it's that old trope where Al Capone is walking around the table with a baseball bat. And we got teamwork when he teamwork. And then he lets loose on one of the guys who's a trader.

But my thing was that he's so weak that he's going. And that bat is just barely touching the guy. And the guy just says, "What are you doing?" And Mr. Burns says, "I'm thrashing you through the initial year life." But he's incredibly exhausted.

So my way out is that he's incredibly violent and homicidal in that moment. But he can't do anything.

“And the other thing I remember is going back to the Foxlot a couple of times I've gone.”

And I'll walk up to the old writer's room, which is it looks like an old 1940s hotel.

It's two stories and there's a staircase that goes to the second level.

It looks kind of dilapidated. And I pushed through the same old creaky door. And some of the same faces from when I was there. Everyone's got gray hair. And they look up immediately.

And, and, and, and, and, and, but now I would hang out and shout with them a bit. And then I would say, well, I got to go, please. [laughter] Now I'm going to go shoot a travel show. I'm going to, you know, Paris.

I'll see you later. Oh, you'll be. You'll be before you go. But as my show, I showed my my tenure all the time old episodes of Andy Griffith. And he liked him.

But he said he really liked Gomer Pile. And I said, well, Gomer had his own show. And he goes, wow. What? Yeah.

And so we watched like 150 episodes of Gomer Pile, USMC.

Yep. Huge hit. And in the background is that writer's building as a barracks. Oh. There you go.

Yeah. They filmed it on the on the fox lot. Or at least part of it. And someone told me across from where we did on the fox lot. Across from our sort of old rickety building.

There was a little bungalow. And we would sometimes meet over there. We would look at animatics. We would look at, oh, now the color corrected versions come back. We're going to look at that.

We have meetings over there. Sometimes. And someone told me that that was once Marilyn Monroe's dressing bungalow on the fox. Yeah. I heard that story.

No idea if that's true. I don't know. Is either where it's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's where he's. Sadly, that room is still where we watch animatics.

Is it really? Yes. Yeah. So nothing's changed. Nothing.

Nothing has changed. And then these little odd things pop up. I remember we were writing an episode and everyone's sitting around. It's Patty and Selma. Marges Sisters.

And their voice also by Julie Cavener. And one of them.

“I think it was Patty or Selma has a iguana.”

A pet iguana. And at one point we needed to know the name of the iguana. And so Algin just said, Oh, no. We need a name for this iguana. And I remember the whole room is just like thinking.

And I like having a spasm. I just said, job job. And I remembered Alwin. Okay, job job. And then it's one of those things where people real Simpsons fanatics will come up to me.

Sometimes and go, job job. And I'm like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. But you started using that phrase all the time. I would all the time.

You could have a fictitious product or something called job job. Yes. I built a whole religion around job. Yes. That's right.

I was saying job job a lot. And then it's one of those things where it's annoying to everybody all the time. And then the one situation came around. What do we call this iguana? And I just went, job job.

And they're like, OK. But yes, that's actually the way it happened. Yes. Something was wrong with me. Glad it all got fixed.

Oh, boy. Well, there were throwaway jokes that then become part of the vernacular.

I may be wrong.

“But he reached over and grabbed something and said,”

"You ain't." Yes. And so now that became a thing where you say the sound effect of the thing that you're doing. Yes. And then George got sick of it.

But we still use it. Yeah.

First of all, there has to be a part two.

If you've got the time, you're welcome here any time you want to come in because we barely scratch the surface. There is so much to talk about. So it's an open invitation. Anytime you want to come. Thank you so much.

It's really nice to see you relaxed. The last time I saw you, I visited the office here. And then you came out dressed in a German sailor suit. Yeah. I do remember that.

I have a very strange life. Yeah, he did. And he did it acknowledge it. Yeah. And that's going.

Never acknowledge. He didn't know. He didn't know. Yeah. I'm a comery, I often forget.

Completely who I am and what I'm doing. During the German Navy. No, you, I mean, clearly you've brought the world so much joy. But me personally, you changed my life.

And so I will never thank you enough.

I honestly don't know. I don't know if my life would have unfolded the way it did. If I hadn't had that time at the Simpsons. It was really perfect. Well, you were great in the room.

And I wasn't surprised that you went places. In fact, when you were, it was announced that you were going to be the host. New New York Times called me up and said, Who is this guy? Is he funny?

I said, he's funny. America will love him. And, and they printed out on the front page because I was the only guy who knew who you were. That's right. And this is back when every other quote was him.

You know, he looks like an idiot. And so the fact that the knives were out for you. Yes, they were. They were a writer. Yeah.

“But I remember that quote because I was desperate for anything that would keep you.”

You came back to the, the, the, the one. Yes. That was a beautiful thing to do. He's very, he's very appreciative. And, and, and, and congratulations.

Oh. And I know I, I've seen everything else you've done. [ Laughter ] Yeah. No, but anyway, thank you for your service.

Oh. You know, and, and also, again, about the Simpsons and Futurama and everything else. It's a collaborative effort. Yeah. You can, you know, it's, it's a combination of great writers and great actors and great animators and great musicians.

Oh, come together. So I'm the spokesmodel. Yeah. So, yeah. Well, sir, I thank you.

And I'm desperate to get you back here anytime you want to be here. Thank you very much. Any reason. Thank you guys. Good night.

Thank God. Bless. [ Music ] Hey, I have something to talk about. Yeah.

Which relates to us, Sonah. Uh-huh.

“A couple days ago, I'm hanging out at my house.”

It's a weekend, everything's chill. And all the sudden Sonah sends me a text. I looked down and what did the text say, Sonah? This, the text said, hey, your car is going to be a few minutes late. And it's very matter of fact.

Yeah. Oh, your car is going to be a few minutes late. Yeah. Which is the kind of text you send me if I've got to go to the airport. Right.

You know, I'm, I'm supposed to go to some function. I'm just got to do some work thing. And the car is going to take me there, you know. Can I just say, because I was your assistant for such a long time. And I used to book all the cars for you.

Yeah. And then David took over, but it's still my phone number. Right. So without even thinking, when I get a text about his cars, like either coming or information from his thing from his drivers, I just text it to David and Conan without checking.

I don't even know what he's up to. Uh-huh. So it's really funny because Sonah, Sonah has no connection really to the day-to-day stuff. But then out of the blue, when I do get a text from Sonah, it's either a picture of her two twins hot wearing a car or it's, it's to tell me that a car is waiting for me out front.

And then I go, okay, I'm supposed to go to the airport or I'm supposed to go. Make an appearance on this show where that show and they've sent a car for me. Let me see if I can find this. How is this going? Okay.

Hold on. So I get a thing. I'm going to read it to you now. Sonah, your driver is running a few minutes late. I text back for, like, question mark, like, to take me where.

And I, for a second, I'm just thinking, Sonah just decided I need to go.

So your driver is running a few minutes late. Sonah, for Sonah. Um, I should've wrote text it. Um, comma. I don't know.

I just got a text. And I just texted back, I hate going nowhere and Sonah texts. This is fun. Now David Hopping is on the thread. And he's suddenly pipes up.

That's weird. And then I text feels like a kidnapping plot.

And Sonah texts, I think it's a scam text I fell for.

I'm embarrassed. And then I wrote to Sonah, now they have your nudes. So you gave that a nice double as commission point. Sonah wrote back, who doesn't? Then listen to this.

Then Sonah texts, oh wait, I ordered food. And it's about my food. And it's about my food. And it's about my food. Then Sonah texts, oh wait, I ordered food and it's about my food.

Then Sonah texts, I'm sorry, but this is hilarious. Then David Hopping texts, this is my favorite text thread. Yes. I text, that's great. David Hopping, what did you order?

And then I text, we got to read this on the pause. Yeah.

“Then Sonah writes, this might be the worst thing it's ever happened to me.”

It was awful.

Then Sonah texts, goop kitchen.

And then that's what she ordered. And David Hopping writes, when it really knows what she's doing with that kitchen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I write, if you charge my card, I'm having you arrested. And then I said, they have turkey meatballs that are shaped like ovaries.

And then Sonah writes, I don't charge your personal card. I charge your company, and it's a write-offs, so you're welcome. And then Sonah said, I'm proud of you for typing ovaries. I know it's difficult for you. Yes.

I wrote, I cried twice. Sonah said, I enjoyed picturing that. David wrote, #growth. Yeah. And then I wrote to David, David is, I wrote it to both of you.

David's headed to Vegas to see Kelly Clarkson and Sonah's ordering soup on my dime. You guys have made it. Meanwhile, I've been slaving away in the art for two hours. Well, you're doing in the yard. I know.

And then I shown us as what we're doing in the yard.

And I say, I go into my yard to men'scape. Oh, that's pretty much the gist of it. This is the bullshittery that goes on. The three of us aren't doing anything separately. And it's like you set off a room full of mouse traps.

It's just, I was like, oh, okay, I'm doing my job. Like your car's a few minutes late. And then why is it? Why do we even on these? No, I do.

“But you didn't remember that you had just ordered soup.”

I completely forgot. And then the guy, he sent me a taxi. He goes, your driver is on their way now, but it's running a few minutes late. And so I go, okay, I'll let him know. Thank you.

Let food know. Yeah, exactly. How many animals have you had? No, no, no, this is my sober seat. And then afterwards, I was like, wait, who is this?

And he goes food delivery. And I go, okay. And then he said he's on his way. And then when I realized it was the food that I ordered and the driver that I had requested that was about me.

I was like, do I even tell Conan or can I just pretend there was a mix up and that the car company messed up? But then I ended up telling you. You know, which made me feel really stupid. A strength of son is as she's honest.

Yeah. She's very honest. I might have just said, oh, some kind of error. I just chewed the car company out and let them have it. No, yeah.

But you didn't do that. No, yeah. And they're a really good car company. So I don't, I wouldn't want to. And come.

Well, anyway, good to see that you're on it. Yeah. How was the good kitchen? It was good. It was really good.

I don't know. Oh, man. It was good. I was just embarrassed. And embarrassing myself in front of Conan is the worst type of embarrassed.

Slash, best thing. It's the best thing that ever happened. Good for the show.

“I think we all learned a lesson, which is trust, but confirm, you know,”

or verify. Terrible. Just terrible. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and MacCorley.

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