Olivia Munn

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That's so sweet. ♪ When they're used, walkin' loose, climb the fence ♪ ♪ Cook some guns, I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ ♪ The cycles that we are gonna be friends ♪ Hey, everybody, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs of Friend.

This is a very good day, because I'm joined, of course, by Sonom of Session. But today marks the return, heroic return, of our good friend and associate, Matt Gorley, and come on guys, I like the heroic part, just fine. We've missed you, seriously. I miss you guys, really.

We've missed you, and just to update everybody, you've been on a paternity leave for...

“No, I only bring it up, because I think it's a world record.”

It says, you know, no, your daughter was born, I believe, eight years ago. She's a freshman in college. Oh, how's she doing? Oh, she's great, she's great. No, you've been out for a little while, you've been out for a couple of months.

I did, I took a little extended one, and it was the greatest thing. It was fantastic, I mean, I missed you guys, I did, but man, well, how's it going? Bring it up today. It's kind of really well, I was able to spend a lot of time with my older daughter, which was kind of magical, and then my youngest daughter has just fit right in.

And, you know, not to get too sentimental, but you sometimes when you have those moments in your life that you know, to be the best moments, but you only know it after they're done.

This was one I could tell when I was in, that it was just amazing.

Really nice. Really nice. It was happy that you had that. And also resentful. Yeah.

That you took so much time. Let me tell you something. Part of the happiness was I wasn't here. Exactly. When my daughter was born, I took 20 minutes.

I know. And when my son was born, I took four. Now, let me also just add to that. I'm a terrible father and an awful human being. So, yes, this is the way to go. You could have asked for some time.

I could have asked for some time. Yeah. That was on me. I think I took a, it was a commercial break. We were doing the late night show.

The best part is even even up to ask for time. You could have just told people he's taking time. Yeah. I know. I want to say something though about our paternity leave real quick.

It feels like you kept releasing other podcasts episodes. It feels like you took a break only from us. Yeah. And you were still doing all your other podcasts. I recorded those all before the baby was born.

Not true. You can hear two kids crying in the background. Unless one of them is your wife having a nervous breakdown. And you often referred to the day's news. As you are held up a newspaper during each recording.

As you were hosting all the rockin' you were, you know, I mean, first of all.

You, we might do baby walking. No, listen, I understand those are more, those are prior issues. I should record them. All I did was watch World War II movies and dirty Harry movies with my baby while I held her.

“I think that's the best thing for a little baby girl to be hearing.”

He was into it. Make my day punk. And lots of people get and blow it up. He was a great thing for a little forming brain. It was heaven for me.

Has that font now a starting to seal? It was pulsing. It's all they're watching. It's crazy. All right.

I have some questions. Yeah. How is your, your youngest daughter's name is? You're talking about Mel the smell? Oh.

Oh. I think you're going to go. So now. No. Yeah.

How is now different? She is night and day different than my first daughter.

Now I'll just came out smile every time you see her just a big smile. She just sits there. She's a wonderful little lump on the log. So we got one of each which kind of magnifies their differences in such a wonderful way. I don't know.

It's, I just feel great. I feel lucky. Yeah. Yeah.

First of all, you have, you came in.

You seem, seem very happy. You've got that kind of, doesn't he? He not have a glow. You do have a glow. Well, at birth to the children.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, oh. Yeah. It sounds fun.

Yeah.

“That's why he had such a long paternity leave.”

Yes. He's sorry, Matt. You can add it. He didn't say when we were sitting around earlier. He did say that, I forget every phrase that this time around, he gained a little more

weight than the first time. And we were like, for your pregnancy, or I was trying to explain it now, you're going to make me, I'm going to put it in one of your body change. I just want you to know I'm glad Adam brought this in because you're a big fat fuck now.

He, I mean, you're listening, but when you waddled into that, it's fun on 10 pounds. Is that crazy? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I read somewhere that you're going to know you're still going down. It's a coat. Oh, no. I hate to do this coat because what if this is just bullshit.

But that there is this evolutionary sort of process to a men in post-partum that they lose testosterone temporarily. And it's a kind of thing to keep them historically tied to the mother and child from strain and it's a kind of thing that that has evolved over time and the survival of those fittest people because the father was there with the child and the mother.

So I'm sure he's, how does this relate to you? Well, that can be some sympathy, weight gained because of the loss of testosterone. You also walked in. He's got huge breasts now. You know, huge lactating breasts and you're a big fat fuck.

And I don't mean either those in a derogatory way. No, no, no. No, no, a big fat fuck. What's the disease? But when you waddle, when you waddle, didn't you?

Waddle, didn't hear, worrying his, his decub. I was, I did come in. I'm really the bug. Yeah, yeah. But, but see, you gained some weight, but you, you still look good.

Thanks. I don't feel good.

“Do you think, do you feel like your testosterone's from levels had dropped?”

You mean in my out there just pounding it? How do you see? Pound is it pounding it? No, I don't. Okay.

You're right. How do you get pounding it? Hounding his creditors for more time. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah.

Oh, I'm pounding it. All right. You're doing what? Oh, I don't. I think so.

I mean, I've been certainly been like a sentimental mess. You know, in a sort of, like, good way, you know, every single thing knocks me down and I like kind of sweet ways. That's nice. Well, I see.

I don't think I've ever had that kind of thing with me. I was going to say, did you know, do you feel like your testosterone dipped? No.

Well, first of all, after your kids were born, I'm not asking for anything.

No, but, you know, my mother-in-law, Pam, God rest her soul, she did say, I remember

“once sort of talking about how I think I've grown wiser over the years.”

I'm not as intense as I used to be. I was very focused and very driven in my 20s and 30s and 40s. And I said, I think I'm maturing and she just, you know, she was an expert in these matters. And she just said, no, no, you're testosterone level has dropped. Like, I was trying to credit it all to wisdom and she was like, no, no, no, you just

have less of that, you know, asshole juice, running for your body. See, I went through a male pregnancy. He went through menopause. Yeah. I did.

Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. I don't think that I got the sentimentality. I'm waiting for that part, you know, I don't get all mushy.

You don't really ever? I do. I want to come see your kids especially. No. Just want to see old clips of late night.

Oh. Like, look it in without rope or 19, 94, no, I do, I do, I do, I do, I don't know. Yeah, well, I'm just saying stuff.

Yeah, I think, but yeah, I am very, first of all, very glad you're back because you

are a very important voice here on this show, as you know, and I say that with no ridicule or jokes attached to it or seriousness or seriousness or real honesty, you know, but we're really happy here. I'm so glad to be back. I did miss you guys.

I edited the show. I was gone. So it was really interesting to hear you guys kind of feel like I was there in a one-way sort of way. We're just coming in.

Were you ever coming in with your parent did credit, but then realizing that you were

Of course. And I don't have any actual cash with me, but I'm making a hundred dollar bill that I would like to send to Eduardo for his little bitch put you in your place. Yay. Yay.

Well, that was an iconic moment in the podcast. It was.

“When Eduardo called me a little bitch, and you know what?”

Some people say our country is terribly divided, unified the country. Yeah. Everyone.

I don't care if you're a red state, blue state, you know, trunper, never trunper.

Everyone said, yes, that guy's a little bitch. Yeah. It was a beautiful moment. It was a really sweet, definitely. Everybody in the country listening to Little Bitch and Big Fat fuck with Demtidies.

Yeah. Big Fat Talk with Demtidies. We bring people together with our special brand of the truth. Can we give a very special thank you to David Hopping for covered for squirrels? Yeah.

David was fantastic. I did it. And at a time was just like, they don't need me. He's great. You know what I mean?

No, he needs you. He was great. I mean, David, I can take in small doses, and you know, I love David. Yeah. But he works Hillary Duff in every conversation.

And I listen. I like Hillary Duff, but gladly have her here on the pod. Yes. Yeah. Whenever we clear up whatever legal thing we have between us.

But yeah, he is so obsessed with Hillary Duff. Can I just shout out and all honesty my wife, who did all the work, obviously, for all of us. She's been amazing. And so Amanda.

The two girls. Yeah. Amanda. You're wife. Very beautiful.

Very talented. You're a lucky man. I am. Man, you're lucky. Yeah.

Okay. Hold on. Jesus Christ. Jesus. God.

I love you. God. You got to meet my wife.

“I thought it was going to be like a broom with a face painted on it.”

Her name is Amanda. Say hi. Amanda. How long? I mean, come on.

Warly's wife. That's fair.

And this total smoke show comes walking in the TV.

She's gorgeous. The same could be said for you, too. I mean, both of you are really punching up. Yes. I know.

I mean, no offense. Oh my God. Are you punching up? No. People think that Christ, you know, that lies a visit me in the hospital.

Like, what do you mean? They just think of some total accident happen. That's how I got this woman. You know, she just there and then accidentally got married. She had an amnesian.

You came in and went, "I'm your husband." Yeah. Exactly. Thank God. I found you.

Yeah. And you think I'm handsome. No. Yes. We're both very lucky men.

Yes, you are. And you know, so is a lucky fella? You're a husband. Tact, keys in. Yeah.

“I can't believe I'm saying tact to keys in.”

Now, tact. Tak.

You don't even know his last name.

Yeah. No, it's Brian. Yeah. It's tact to keys in. It's not tact to keys in.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, this is getting really nice and everything. So I just want to get us back to ground zero. Okay.

Please do. You suck. You were way too long. Yeah. You're a fat boss.

You're fat guy. Yeah. You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. Yeah.

You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy.

You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. Yeah. I can't do it.

I can't do it. You can't do it. I honestly could not do it. I don't know. You've called me every.

You actually called me a little bit. I'm sure I have. I've called you a dick and asshole. But I can't. I don't know why you called me a dick.

I don't know why you called me a dick. I don't know why you called me a dick. I don't know why you called me a dick. I don't know why you called me a dick. I don't know why you called me a dick.

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“I mean, she's great. What do I do, do I talk to her?”

This is your first day back since a maternity leave. The children are now in their 30s. They've been gone for a really long time. I think too long. We'll figure it out later.

HR tells me I'm not letting it up. But you're tired. You are exhausted. I'm really tired. As I was coming in, John was like, I'm so tired.

I'm so excited to be here because I was saying, like, they're four in 19 months. This crazy thing is that when everyone's there, we're happy to be there to help. My mom is there to help too.

We want to be in the mess. Just be in it with them.

The problem is that just leaves us with nothing on the other side.

We're giving to our work and then we come home. We can do it all ourselves. And it's just, and I just don't have that instinct. When I come home, I'm very happy to see. Because we have a lot of help.

I have eight butlers. That's just me. I have people that carry me. Oh. From the toilet to my other toilet.

I have the bathroom a lot. I'm calling you from one to the other. There's no stop in the other stop anywhere else. And there's a toilet on a little cherry if they go. Yeah, I'm constantly.

“But by the way, if that's what's happening, I think you need it.”

No, no, trust me. I don't think this is like vanity at all. I think there's something going on. That's a really good point. And thank you for taking my side on this.

Because, you know, my wife is always like, "This is really necessary." And I'm like, "You have no idea." But I think that's your problem is saying we want to be part of the, you know, you can meet the children later in life.

Do you know what I mean? You can meet them later. I don't get it. Okay, okay. People like Winston Churchill.

He was raised by people on the estate. And then he was like brought to meet his parents at a certain age. Oh, my God. Come, it's time to go meet your father. Hello, father.

You know, it was a weird thing.

And he was called you by your first name.

Hello, Conan. Yeah. Mr. Conan. Yeah. Super casual.

Just think, um, like every little moment.

“Just like, I think that John and I connect so much to our own childhoods.”

Like we have such distinct memories of what our childhoods were like. And we see our children in ourselves so much. So I think it's like, every time we are, like, the funny thing is like, "Moggle will do something."

And then he and I will both have a different reaction. Based on like what our childhood is. And sometimes they're very, we're very different. He's Irish Catholic, you know, white collar family. And then, I grew up in a military family with, like, my mom.

Your mom, a Vietnamese refugee, right? Yeah. Who came here in 1975. The day the war ended. Oh, my God.

It was out on the last, the last, the last boats out. And, um, and. So you have a completely different frame of reference, then. Then John, Melani, Irish Catholic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like we, like the other day, like, like Malcolm is like, "Why can't we do this thing?" And John was like, "Oh, well, because it's closed now. Everything's closed." And then I was like, at the same time I was going,

"Well, because we've decided that we're not going to do that "because, and then, and we both looked at each other "going like, which way do we go?" You did have your stories straight. We did not, and we do that a lot.

And then, then, one of us will kind of start to talk slower. And that's the one, that's the cue to be like, "We follow that person," whoever.

So we're not going to go today,

but we're going to go tomorrow, and then we're like, "Oh, okay." So your kids now think you're just buyers. That's what she's saying. That's what she's saying. That's what she's saying.

Yeah, she has twins as well.

“Yeah, I think the three of us have kids that are around”

the same age. Yeah, my voice, you might voice from five in July. Yours is October. Yeah. And I think he's--

Yeah, he's from four. Yeah, just from four at the end of November. Okay. I used to tell our kids that Obama canceled it. I used to do that.

I used to tell them, you know, Obama canceled it. That's why we can't do it. And they said, "What?" And I said, "Yeah, it was on CNN." And I think it was my daughter said,

"What is that?" The Conan nonsense network. Oh my God. And I was like, "Okay, well, this doesn't work anymore." Don't report what he's saying.

Yeah, it was a five in turn. She was two when she said that. Yeah. I just said that to John, just yesterday I was talking about something that my mom had said to me that was so, like, flipping

and not innocuous. She wasn't even thinking. I know at that time she didn't think it was anything. But what she said, I knew was a lie. Because it was just like when I was a five year old.

She was like, "Oh, whatever it was was just like a little lie." Mm-hmm. And I know in that moment, it course changed. From being like, "I believe everything my mother says to being like, "Oh, you're just-- you're not going to be

telling me to truth about things." Right. Right. And then I look at myself as an adult. I'll be like, "Mom, my mom knows everything."

She's so annoying. She knows everything. She's always right. And yet I'll still be like, "No." Because that's my default is to be like, "No."

Because I remember when it all changed for me.

You lied one time, and I can never trust you.

Well, I think as a kid, like, you know, I said to John, "We never know when we're creating a core memory." So like, there's that thing that my mom said

“and did that she will never, ever be like, "I remember that."”

Because there was one time when it's like in the 80s, right? So my mom would had as my sister and I. My steps as her same age as me. I came out from school, puts us to nap, and then I hear the door closed. And I look outside.

I go into the living room and she's in the van pulling out of the driveway. Nobody else is going to be home. We're like, "You're alone." At four years old. But this is the 80s when you could like, you know, leave your kid home.

You go run and come back. And I ran out crying and screaming. Well, I thought she was leaving us. And she's annoyed. Now she's got to go back.

Like, "Okay, get back in the house." And then she's just being like, "And then I was so confused. Like, now she's annoyed with me and did I do something wrong?" But she was leaving me and it was just, and that became such a core memory for me. It's bold even for the 80s.

Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty good. Not for the 70s, but for the 80s. Yeah.

Yeah. But we used to also in the pickup trucks, like, you know, sit in the back of the club bed. Yeah. But on the hump, where the wheel is, we could sit in there, like, just, you know, a free ride through the highways. Like, no one got in trouble then.

It was a different time. Yeah. I'm amazed at the things that we did when I was growing up in the 70s. I just, you know, sometimes I wouldn't see my parents from months at a time. Yeah.

I was left with just a map and a gold coin. I know. You're just going to full walk about for three days at your hometown. Yeah. Just come back, a tan and dirt in the outback.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's made an internship. Do you want to know what's in your community?

I don't know. But I don't know how. Then you go to GoFandMe.com and start your own business. The next exciting adventure doesn't have to start in the school or the kids. You can only start in less minutes, a go-fant me exciting adventure.

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I can relate, obviously, to John and I have similar lineage and both comedy obsessives.

“Is he always trying to turn something into a comedic riff?”

Is that something he does at home or not so much? No, I can't see him doing it, but it must be happening because I'll be watching. I haven't seen his stand up until recently we're in London. I was like, you've been like clocking all of this. Or memories, you're making cool memories.

Everything is a poor memory, everything. His latest special is called "Core Memories." No, but I have noticed something with him that you might relate to as a comedian, because I now see it now with him, is that Malcolm said something the other day too.

It's just like, oh, yeah, and his brain is already. It's almost like he's writing it down and notebook in his head. You know, you don't immediately laugh. You just go, oh, that's very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, that can be used later. I enjoy it. But it's not. Sometimes it's really not just like, oh, yeah, that's very good. That's very good.

“I think it clicks, it just literally flips a switch.”

Instead of, like, we're the rest of us. That's funny. I think it immediately flips this other switch. That is very funny. Let me log this down.

Let me not forget the nuances of whatever this whole little moment, right?

So that happens a lot more than I recognize, like, you know, the first year we together.

Yes, not as obvious as John saying, you know, you're, you know, your Malcolm falls down. And he's like, wait a minute. I can use this. No, no, no, no. I keep crying.

So I get down what it's like. We were talking just before we got started. And I thought, I want to ask you about this because you're early life. There's, you know, there's a lot happening. Your mom comes here when she has you, where are you living?

Is it Oklahoma? Oklahoma is born in Oklahoma City. Oklahoma. But then it doesn't work out. Her marriage doesn't work out.

My father cheats on my mother. Nice six months old. Oh, boy. And then she, yeah, she, my sister was two and a half of six months. And my mom was, had his dry cleaning and was going through a suit,

dragon, a found two movie ticket stops.

“And went up and asked him like, did you go to the movie to somebody?”

And he said, yes, and she goes, was it a girl or a guy? Because it's a girl. And he goes, is it a date? And he's like, yes. And then so she leaves.

And then. And she goes to Japan. No, so she leaves. So my, okay, my mom and my mom, my grandmother and her nine children escaped Vietnam in the fall of Saigon.

And in 75, and they came out to Oklahoma because they, um, there was a, um, a Christian university president that was like, I'll sponsor all 10 of you to come to Oklahoma. And they went there and then, um, my mom and her university and everybody still lived there in Oklahoma.

And then when my, when she left my father, she went back home to my grandmother's house with, you know, my uncles and everybody there to take, you know, take care of her and, and us. And, um, my mom would tell stories about my dad coming to get us to, for visitation in my uncles would be so mad and they'd pick up huge rocks and just throw them at him and like throw them at his car.

And like, it was just, they were just, the way Saigon came out and them. Yeah, what a ancient way of showing displeasure. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to say, I can't. No, for the rest of my life.

Yeah, I'm passing requests with you. Matt, but I don't pick up large boulders and throw them at you. But now that we know that's an option. It is an option. But she, so then she goes.

So then, and then eventually she, she remarries, um, my first step father. My mom's been married three times. My second step father. She's been married three times. She's been married three times.

And it's important to note that he is amazing.

His name is Sam. But my first step father was not a good guy at all. It's really, for 14 years of my life from, like, a two to 16. And so she married him and he was in military. And then that, uh, bought us two.

And he was a bit of a, like, a rage-a-holic yelling. Well, what was your call in that? He was very abusive, abusive in many ways. Um, and it's interesting, like, with abuse, right? Like, there was definitely screaming and yelling.

But there wasn't like a rage.

“Like, when you see a movie, is it just somebody coming in?”

Wow, what's going on in here? It was just like that, you know, your, your blood runs cold. You just feel, you know, you can just feel it. It's like, when your kids are, like, dogs, right? Where you can feel things before anything is said.

You could, like, it's raining outside. And I would learn, like, later in life, like, okay, rain that's actually bad. Because he might be late for work or somebody might do that. And then he's going to come home and be really in a bad mood. So you just kind of, like, clocking all these things.

You, you were, um, always at home.

He, where, like, flip flops. And so, like, the sound of, like, flip flops on the linoleum. Because you know, in a military housing, you have, like, the same kind of concrete floors that linoleum on top of it. And just, like, those kind of things that you just kind of perk up and go, like, okay, someone's coming. Or dangerous coming in. Just before we came in here, you were talking about how you, you seem like someone who obviously went through a great deal.

And then at some point had the strength and tenacity to say, I'm getting out of here. Because you talked about getting in your car and driving, this is, you know, when you're much older, but you decided I'm going to go to Los Angeles. You got in a car and you just started driving and you said, you know, your car broke down at one point. And you were looking for a placement part on the side of the road. Yeah.

So this is real fire in you. Like, I'm going to get out. I always want to be an actor when I was like, uh, maybe 17. Some of my best friend gave me this book called an actor's guide your first year in Hollywood. I was like, page one, let's go.

And we're going to make it. And so I told my mom that I wanted to be an actor and, you know, my mom being an immigrant was like, Oh, okay, that's not, you know, my mom and her siblings all came to America with nothing. And they all have, like, you know, master's degrees and PhDs and become, like, top engineers and one has worked for NASA and their doctors. And so my mom was like, you know, we don't have a dentist or a lawyer in the family yet.

And also you can understand where they're coming from.

Yeah.

“That if you, if they're coming from that reality.”

And then you just one generation removed is saying, I'm going to try improv. Uh, and I'm going to throw. Uh, and I'm going to play, you know, some, um, some theater games. I can understand why they'd be freaked out. Yeah.

Because she's like, wait, you wanted to do what, like, she did tell me a long time ago. She goes, you want to be active. You call, only one man can do it. Tom Cruise. You're not Tom Cruise. I was like, what a command. She is true. There is only one man to do it. You're not Tom Cruise.

I was like, I'm not. However, he and I do have the same birthday. So, um, but, uh, and so it was, um, I would ask her a lot. And she was like, if you go to college and you use your degree for one year. Like, then I'll, I'll say, okay, you can go. And now I know at this point, I'm an adult.

But it's an Asian family. So it really mattered that my mom was, you know, they're to support me. And also I didn't have the money to go do that.

And, and I needed a lot of support and permission for my mom.

And so I, um, graduated from University of Oklahoma with journalism degree. And then I worked at the NBC affiliate for one year in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And you were sideline. You know, I was doing the assignment desk. You went into an classroom before. So there's the, we go into a newsroom.

“There's this assignment desk and it's where you answer the calls from people going like,”

I love what, you know, Jane was wearing today on the what color was that suit. And it's also people going like, um, there was a, you know, um, I've got a complaint about, you know, XYZ and what's happening over here on this street. There's also all of these police scanners, paramedic scanners, fire department scanners. And it's constantly all the time and your job is to hear it all. And then to tell people and be like,

Conan, go to 89 street. There's like, you know, There's a fire at McReady's bond. Get over there. Exactly. And they're right. They're in front of me. And I hear nothing.

If I could hear producers screaming out, would you like, you know, they're like, a school bus turned over on 29th. You're like, like, really? They're like, oh my gosh, there's a house fire on Robert's and I'm like, there is. And I'm like, I'm the worst person at this job ever.

It was your job is not to go. You don't say. Wow, it must be some fire. I'd be literally, we should put it on the new. I'd be watching people get up and run and I'm like, what?

They're like, and they'd be like, maybe into the parking lot, screaming, what's happening? And I, I guess, couldn't hear it. And so I took that job for a year. And then then they asked me, don't ask me why. They're like, do you want to stay on longer?

And I was like, well, I told my mom I would only do this for a year before I would go. And I was just determined to just do a year. And then I started thinking, like, oh man, maybe I, maybe I will. I don't know why I talked to my mom about it. She goes, you know, it just won't, you just wait another year.

Just like one more year.

“And then you, then you should go out to California and give it a try.”

But just one more year. So I was like, okay. And then one day speaking of core memories, like not knowing when you're creating them, my sister was getting dressed and she was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup.

And she said, oh, you know, mom said the funniest thing to me the other day. She said, you know, Olivia keeps wanting to go to California to be an actor. And I just told her, like, next year. And if she says anything to you about it, just tell her next year. And we'll just keep saying next year, next year until one day,

she'll forget about it. Yeah. And my sister said it, of just like, mom is so silly. Isn't that so silly? And I'm pretty sure my sister doesn't even know this story.

Because it probably didn't even clock to her. But in that moment, I was like, oh, my god. Like, well, why is this working? Like, why, why, why? Because it clearly worked.

I mean, I thought, well, I'm letting it work. Why am I letting it work on me? Well, because what if I don't make it? And if I don't make it, then for the rest of my life,

I could always say, well, I was going to be an actor

by my mom and it let me. I was going to-- Yeah. In a way, you have an out. I have an out forever.

So I had this old, like, beat up Land Rover Discovery. That, like, broke down, like, every 20 miles or so. And it was not a good thing for the environment to do. But we took out the catalytic converter. Because in Oklahoma, you could.

And the catalytic converter allows more to have more, like, horsepower. And it's really bad for the environment. Because it doesn't-- it lets all the exhaust kind of out. But in Oklahoma, you could do it.

So-- Thanks, Oklahoma. So the mechanic was, like, you know, you take this out. You're going to get-- like, you're going to be able to go a lot faster. Right.

And you're going to get more shoots, gasoline at the back. And propelling you forward. And so-- and then I also had a really better crack in my radiator. And I knew about that. But I couldn't afford to--

You're driving Chernobyl. Yeah. And so-- [LAUGHTER] I mean--

You're low on your-- you're kind of low on your radium. [LAUGHTER] So then I had to drive, like, gotten my-- In the car, I was going from Oklahoma to Texas. And then all the way through, you know,

in Mexico, Arizona. And to California. But it like, it stopped, like, every 200 miles. And because you have to stop, open the gas gets put in the--

you know, keep it going.

“And then at one point, it just was, like, steam was coming out.”

I was in the middle of New Mexico. And the steam was just, like, spewing out. And it's, like, the check engine lights coming out. So I pull over and all my gosh. And, like, the-- the hose for the radiator, like,

I'd blown. And it was, like, like, a crack in it. I'm, like, I'd just am on the side of the road. On the highway, like, look, you know, like, walking for a while going through the brush.

And then I find a hose. I'm looking for something that I could use. And I find a hose. And as I've already had to do these things-- You found a hose.

A hose? A hose? No, no, no, not a radiator hose. Okay. No, it was a hose.

A hose. That was pretty good. Yeah. It was, I don't know what kind of hose. It wasn't a water hose.

It was something. But I did it because in college my best friend, Kara, she taught me a lot of this stuff. And so this had happened once before when we're in Oklahoma during college. And I was, like, what are we doing?

She's like, we're going to go find a hose. And it's like, what do you mean? She's like, we're going to find something. And, like, so we, like, on the side of the road, just keep, like, looking and looking and, like, you'll find something.

And so, you know, I look-- It wasn't easy. It wasn't like, I was like an hour or something. You could just-- I was just like, treasure hunting.

Yeah. I'm just saying, you may have a real talent here. Well, you just search and search and you find something. Uh-huh. And I carried the screwdriver.

And I carried, like, the heat resistant duct tape. I mean, I had the whole thing. Because, like, this was a situation that I had experience for, like, over a year, but I don't do this. So, you'd think, actually, that I would have kept, like, extra hoses.

Yeah. That's the key. Well, you did not hear it. Yeah. Not if you're experienced this.

Just go outside and look around. It's like shopping at minor key. Um. But we found it. And it got me through.

It got me to the very, like, all the way to Altadina, where I was meeting cousins. And so, how long before you got work? Well, it depends on what you, how you describe work.

So, in, in actress guide your first year in Hollywood.

They did really, yeah. They tell you. After the chapter on finding a hose. (laughter) This book is really good.

(laughter) You know, like, they, up, they do, like, a new, a new mission. They, they should do a new mission interview. They should interview me for now. Yeah.

The new edition, yeah.

“So, um, I, uh, it says, like, to become an actor you need to join.”

The union. And how do you join the union? You get your sad card. How do you get your sad card? Well, you book something that gives you your sad card.

Or you go and be an extra. And you can be an actor and you get, like, pink slips. And think it was, like, three pink slips equals, like, one sad card. That's what I got. You did.

Did you get it? Yeah. For being an extra. Yeah. How many, how many pink slips did you get?

And did you get, did you get, uh, speaking parts? No. I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was, no. I was a high school student, even though I looked 38. Uh, and I said, and they, I guess, oh, it's the credits.

It said creepy high school. Yeah. We prematurely aged. Did everyone get one? Or did they just give it to you?

There was, it was, oh, it's show called the smart guy. I'm like, uh, was it Nickelodeon or something? Okay. And one of the actors was someone we knew from an improv group. And so he got three of us as featured extras to get our sad cards.

Okay. What was the, what was the featured part? Creepy guy in a high school. Like, we weren't, like, speaking. You know, I know.

So that's like a game. See, that's the, it is really background work. It is totally background work. Yeah. Yeah.

And, but I, I thought you just go. And then you're like, every background person gets like a, I didn't know. There was like a, a special thing.

“Well, you have to be like, you have to have a featured whatever that means.”

Okay. But so in the book, it says, like, go to central casting. And you bring your passport in another identification. And you go there and you line up. So I go to central casting out in Burbank.

And like, there was a line that goes, you know, down the block, down the block around the block. And I'm there, like, passport in hand, the biggest smile in my face. And like, we're doing it. Yeah. We're doing it.

We're doing it. We're doing it. I'm the new Tom Cruise. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys have the book too. Yeah. And, and I was like, literally, the only person smiling, I mean, tired. So I was like, this is it. And I get to the front.

And the first one I did was Gilmore Girls.

Hmm. I couldn't believe it. I got cast on Gilmore Girls. And I get to Warner Brothers. I see all these people there and no one else is smiling.

It's for a, and I'm just like, guys, we're doing it. You know what? It's the little girl. We made it. And then this one guy brought me over and he's like, come here.

He's like, is this your first time doing it? Yes, it is. He's like, okay. He's like, what color did you bring? It's like what do you mean what color?

He was like, what color did you bring? I don't know. I just have like winter coats and stuff because hold on. He hands me his red, his red scarf. And he's like, you need this so that they can see you in the background.

He's like, he puts on a red hat. And he goes, and you want to make like big gestures. He's like, you know, like, you can say hi to a friend that's way over there. And like, so we had all these tips and tricks and taught me about like, bringing type of wear so that I can like take food home and like,

how we want to get into male penalties. And it's like this whole thing I love. You know, to background. Yeah, yeah. You're first.

Yeah, some of the advice I'm not sure, right? I have a hard time watching Gilmore Girls. Because there's a guy in the background.

He's always flailing like he's on fire.

I can't understand. Rory. But I only did it. I only did one other background job.

“The very first thing I booked was this was it's always sunny in Philadelphia.”

Oh, there you go. So it's my jam. Yeah. But wait a second. Oh, oh.

So I couldn't believe it. I was this is so exciting. Then Monday morning rolls around and I'm waiting. I just went to film on Monday and I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

I'm waiting. And then I try to get a hold of somebody at the agency. No one's answering. Try to get somebody at the management company. No one's answering because it's super early in the morning.

I'm like, I feel like it's supposed to be there already.

And then finally, I get a call from production.

And the woman's like, oh my god, we transpose the last two numbers of your cell phone. My number at the time was 0608. So they were calling 0806. And they're like, I'm so sorry. We had to go audition all of the extras for this role.

And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, we told your managers. But my manager at the time was to busy starring and filming his own movie. Oh, God. That weekend.

Oh, come on. You didn't give me any of the. Oh, yeah, bro. I would give him just a number of more chances. It's not to give him 15 more chances.

Yeah. I was like, I was like, I, you guys, I was like, I'll be right there. I'll be right there. I'm sorry. We've had to move.

But don't worry. We'll remember you for the next time. I thought, of course, you're not going to look back at my start. And there were things I desperately wanted to happen. It didn't happen.

And then later on, I realized that if those things had happened, the real great shots wouldn't come along for me. It would've set me off on a different road. So because you go on this streak of attack of the show, you get. Daily show.

Yeah. Daily show. You got offered a part on 30 rock. Oh, that one. Which you couldn't end up doing.

And then you do the newsroom. Yeah.

“I, um, that was like my first big, like, of being meth to take on, right?”

Like, the Daily Show with John Stuart was a, those both are like kind of simultaneous, like, in their very different in their own ways. Right. I knew that I was, like, just the outlier in that whole cast for the newsroom. And that, you know, and actually after my first day of filming,

the very first scene that you see me in in season, in episode two season one, he came to me afterwards. He's like, you know, we were, he's like, just, you know, we were all watching being like, what's this girl from the Daily Show going to do? And I was like, and I kind of felt that pressure a little bit,

but also at the same time felt like, like, like, I didn't know a lot about, like, the etiquette of, like, filming on sets and like, how, like, I would ask a lot of questions. I would go to Sorkon and be like, can you explain all these little things to me? Because I was like, I mean, I didn't write the character you did.

So I would, I would, and so there was, like, I would ask other actors. I'm like, how would you say this line? And they're like, what, like, you can't? Oh, I was like, why would I just want to use my brain? I kind of, everyone's, you know, help and involved in this.

And I was looking at, I knew I was going, I had, like, such an amazing high caliber group of actors around me. And I was like, oh man, I don't. I just have to, like, kind of narrowing and think about what I'm doing. And I, at that time, in entertainment,

I feel like a lot of times I'd seen characters like that play really, just overly demanding or apologetic. And I just wanted to play it straight. I was just like, there's, like, just, and nothing has come close.

I, I've stopped filming that show in 2007, for 14, 14, 17, 14, something like that, a long time ago. And I, nothing has come close to that because of the challenges that Sorkin put for me in there to, like, really make things really small, but still give it as much impact.

It'd be very hard to act in his stuff because he put so much dialogue in there. It's so dense. It's so dense.

So when I watch his stuff, I'm always very,

he's obviously a great writer and he's really a savante at this. He does great work, but I'm always thinking, yeah, I, I, I couldn't work for that guy. Memories, all that stuff. And, and what you know me, I just be making up gibberish.

And he also loves walking and talking. So that business where, you know, and you literally can't walk and talk. I can't walk and I cannot walk and I cannot walk and I cannot. I cannot do both.

I cannot do both. I cannot do both. I cannot do both. I cannot do both. I cannot do both.

I cannot do both. I cannot do both. But you, I mean, it's interesting because you, you've had kids. I know that you've then battled breast cancer.

And you made a decision to just take time off, but I heard you say somewhere, I'm not going to do some announcement that you won't be seeing me for a while. Yeah. Which is that was cool because when people announce,

I'll be stepping down for my career. Yeah.

Mom and Teralee, I always think no one asked.

Yeah. I'm like, I always think it's so funny. People do that. I'm like, you don't play with the lakers. Like no one's being like, where are they Tuesday night?

Where are they? Yeah. I'm like, you're an actor. I'm like an announcement and it's like, I think if there's somewhere where people are expecting you to be. Yeah.

“You know, then okay, you should let us know.”

I'm not going to be there. Right. It was like, it was a, it was a personal decision. And yeah, I just felt like I just had gone through

No, yeah. The worst postpartum anxiety. Did you have that? Yeah. Yeah.

“I was ready for postpartum depression that heard about.”

I'd never heard of postpartum anxiety.

So it was like about a month after Malcolm is born. And all of a sudden, I just like, I wake up at 4 a.m. My eyes just pop open and I just go. And I just feel it in my chest every day. And it's like that every day for almost a year.

And I, I just, I, I would just have to hold this arm going from room to room sometimes. And that would just be like cool. The reds like sometimes it'd be cool. But it would always be there. And I didn't understand what it was.

I didn't really say anything to anybody about it. Like I don't really feel good. I'm just kind of feeling anxious. And it wasn't until, um, it wasn't for like nine months or something until finally, I like opened up to think my therapist about it.

And I, I was able to make a lot of breast milk. Um, I really tried and my son was struggling because I was not giving him any, any, any nourishment. And it was, uh, so frustrating. So I was like, I'm just stopping. I'm going to put him on for a meal.

He's going to be okay. But by stopping cold turkey like that, I didn't know, even if I made a little bit, what happens is your hormones drop. Oh. And everything, like I had, I was not prepared for this.

And then it just, it just dropped me into like the, the depths of postpartum health. Oh. And I was spiraling.

“And then I ended up getting, um, people would ask me like, what, what were your thoughts?”

Well, the thing is I didn't have thoughts. Think God didn't have any thoughts of self harm or hurting anyone else. Um, and I, my heart goes out to every woman who's experiencing that. And there is not enough sympathy and empathy and understanding for that. It's absolutely, um, horrifying to, to feel those things.

I can imagine. Yeah. So that was a big part of reason why I was like, okay, I need to take some time away. But I wasn't thinking about that yet. Right when I was getting out of that postpartum.

Hey, so it's like, I'm feeling good. Then I get diagnosed with breast cancer. Yeah. And then it was like, was a very aggressive fast moving cancer. That was like all over both breasts.

So I went through many surgeries, five surgeries. And then in that process, I was like, I think I need to step away from. Yeah. Being in the public eye. Wow.

And that's also just important to point out. You had no symptoms. And you took this lifetime risk assessment test. Right. Which told you we had a very high number.

And that saved your life. I mean, that's huge. Yeah. Yeah. The clear mammogram and a clear ultrasound.

And I did clear genetic testing. Um, as well, or genetic testing came back clear. Um, a lot of people ask about braka and braka is, um, is a very well-known breast cancer gene, but there are many breast cancer genes. And, um, I tested negative for all cancer genes.

Yeah. So um, there's a thing, I know. Yeah. The lifetime risk assessment test. And it's a free online test.

It takes minutes to take. It's been around for a very long time. But a lot of people don't know about it. Anything above 20%. Is considered high risk.

And it's a score that will tell you how likely you are to get breast cancer in your lifetime. And mine was 37.3%. Yeah. I went to go with the MRI and the doctor called me that day.

And it's like, I think I see something on, um, on your right breast. You should go get an ultrasound. So okay. I go get the ultrasound and then doctor's taking, you know, some time.

It's never really good when they're quiet, right?

So I'm like, is that everything okay? I just like, well, I see the one from the MRI, but now I'm finding two more. Oh, fuck. Okay. And then she's explains it to me.

So with our women, our breasts are, like, circles. And then they put it across through it. And then there's quadrants. And so multi-focal means there's more than one in one quadrant. Multi-quadrin is that this two different quadrants and it's not.

It's not that abnormal to have multi-focal in one quadrant. But it's abnormal to have it in two quadrants. Yeah. Multiple quadrants.

“So they're like, okay, you should go get a biopsy.”

So I go get a biopsy. And they're like, yeah, it's a very aggressive fast-moving cancer. And it's not normal to have multi-focal multi-quadrin at your age. And then they're like, well, let's go back to your original MRI and look at the other side. And they looked at the left breast.

I go, okay, yes. We got to go an MRI biopsy on this and they did that one as well. And so they're like, so then I was diagnosed with multi-focal multi-quadrin biopsy cancer. And then after my double mastectomy, they sent it off for pathology. And they find a tangerine-sized section of more breast cancer in my right breast.

Because, you know, they look for, it's called clearing the margins. So when they get your tumors, they take the tissue out and you want to make, they want to come back and be like, okay, we are able to clear margins. So whatever tissue sample we got, we able to say we got the tumor because there is clear, there's clear tissue all around it.

And because they did my whole dough mastectomy, they were able to take all the tissue out. But they were like, okay, we weren't able to get clear margins till past like a tangerine-sized section of more.

So, and that was, and I would never have, I would not have found it until it was a much later stage.

If I didn't take the lifetime risk assessment test. And then a year after that, a little less than a year after that, I would have my mom do a mammogram. My mom just turned 70. I had her last year. Yeah, I had her do a mammogram and ultrasound clear clear and I did her lifetime risk assessment score.

And so then we had her do an MRI and she has, she was diagnosed with her two breast cancer. It's a type of breast cancer that can double in size every six weeks. What? So, when she got, when we found it, a few weeks later she has her double mastectomy and it already become multi-focal. Oh, because it was, I got it.

Yeah, you do. It's a really, I'm actually working with Senator Mark Kelly on legislation that will help.

Make it a lot easier for women to have this done just because the owners shouldn't be on us to always know about these things.

“And I think I will, you know, this is one of the biggest missions in my life besides being, you know, a mother and a wife and a daughter.”

I want to help as many women as I can with this so simple, but it shouldn't be on us to know about it. Yeah. When we go into our doctors, they take our blood pressure, they ask about like our cholesterol. And they should also say what's your lifetime risk assessment score. And so we're working with, I'm working with Senator Kelly on figuring out a way to get every doctor in our country to make that part of their standard of care.

Yeah. All right, lifetime risk assessment test. Mm-hmm. That is huge. I'm writing it.

Yeah. I better write it down for you. There's a specific one. The tire accusic one. I have it in my Lincoln bio in my Instagram.

Oh, okay. Because there's, there's one called the gale, something. It's the tire accusic one. They're all a little bit different for some reason. We can put it in the show notes.

Yeah, put it in the show notes.

Well, now you're working on your friends and neighbors with Mr. John Hamm.

And I bet it's nice to be, you know, and it must be nice to be back in it. I would think, kind of therapeutic to be working and making that great show. I really do love that show. Thanks. It's a really like it.

Um, and we're going to do this again sometime. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It just settled in. What else can you talk about?

Well, I, uh, find in Hoses. [LAUGHTER] I don't wait for my friend, Karen, I'm going to make her listen to this. She was the one who taught me that. She's about, she's an architect.

Do you know California, Chicken Cafe out here? Of course. She's like the, the VP of branding there. And she's the one who redesigned all of the California Chicken Cafe's out here. They're like all of this.

That's notice they got a new look. Yeah.

They knew that they have new font and everything.

That makes me like to chicken more. [LAUGHTER] When it's all about presentation. If it's, sometimes it's a really good chicken with bad font. I'm like, "I'm not a shit."

You're a big font guy. I'm very big on a font. What I learned is they did better during COVID than a lot of place. Because everybody's looking for, like, just a healthy easy alternative. So much so that they don't do eating anymore.

Yeah. You just don't. You know a lot about this thing. I sure do.

“She knows her fast foods and your food outlets, right?”

Isn't that fair to say? That's fair to say. It's not really fair. It's not like Carl's Jr. No, no. You're just lifting off the whole other places.

Okay, it is. It's like that. It's good. You don't have to walk in. They have like a window now and you just go order. Is there a one out by us?

There's, I don't think so. If I go to one and one on the other. Let's get to work together. Let's talk. Can I just say the best one of all is poya local because

That's poya local. Please. Okay. I like La poya local. I like to feminize things because women need to be heard and seen.

But also, I like a chicken that's gone insane. I like a chicken that's eyes are crossed and it's gone insane. And then the chicken is telling you, eat chicken. But the chicken's gone insane. And it's this crazy thing where you're like,

A chicken's gone so insane. He's telling people to eat more of my kind. Yeah, I can recognize his game. Yeah. I can just say, all right. Well, my best to to cookie John, you know.

I mean, he loves you. Well, I love him. Listen, be well. I'm so glad that you're healthy. I'm glad that you have these two beautiful children.

And that you have this great family. I'm just pretty happy for you. No, thank you so much. I mean, it really means a lot. I mean, just so happy to be here with you guys.

I mean, we love your show. Everybody loves your show. And they have to. But it's been so nice. I don't want to leave now.

Well, you can stay. This is a nice question. Thanks. What do you guys do next? Just go out for tasty freeze.

[LAUGHTER] I got all the California chicken. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's what I call it.

“Do you guys interview somebody else after this as you have one day?”

No, we tend to record more stuff. Yeah, I don't know if we're doing more. Yeah. We're next week. We're doing, we do segments separately and all that. I think that's it for today.

You know? Sometimes we just do local news and weather. How many episodes do you do a year? Well, this is interesting. You're going to be the 400th episode.

Hey. Me? Yeah, yeah. Which means you're going to-- We're on one.

You're going to plan that, right? I feel like it should have been.

No, please.

It's like, but you get a pair of socks.

That's exciting. Okay. Olivia, I want to thank you. All right, Helen.

“Yeah, yeah, just your clothing and here we go.”

Olivia, thank you very much for being alive. Jordan again. Olivia? Yes. I just want to tell you that it was lovely having you here on Colonel Brian needs a friend.

I do consider you a friend. And I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. And now I say both to you and to people all around America. And I'm a heart-land listening. Thank you.

And good night. All right, now it is time for a segment. We call review the reviewers where we read and respond to real five star reviews. Are you reading a bedtime story to a child? I'm trying to be a professional.

Okay. All right. I'm getting sleepy. Can I have cocoa? What do you want me to do?

Go to Apple Podcast and write us five stars.

And you might be featured on a future episode. Today's a review comes from Kira 8kera who says segment idea. Hey. We're doing a segment. Content and team.

I'm a huge fan. Level listening to your podcast. And it is one of the things that got me through chemo. So thank you for that. Oh, that's a shock for her.

You guys should do a segment where you guys discuss new words that kids use these days. Oh, wow. That's a good one. Hey, Kira 8kera. I'm so glad that you got through chemo.

Yeah. And love the suggestion. It's the new. What the words that kids are using these days. Do you know sure?

There's Riz. I told I've got Riz. By no one. I'm going to pay a name one person. No one.

I apparently I am Riz free.

But it's a good word. Yeah. It's good slang. Do you know what the slang is these days? I know cap, no cap.

And I know cap. Cap is you're telling the truth. No cap is you're telling the truth. Cap is when you are not telling the truth. Okay.

That's right. Because it's all about hiding behind the cap. Someone explained it to me. Oh, so. So use it in a sentence.

Uh. Hey, dude. You got. You got a cap on right now. Oh.

What? Well, I'm trying to use it in a sentence. I know, but I just told you. If you know. Hey, Cohen.

No cap. You degraded the Oscars. Oh, thanks a lot. Okay. Okay.

I don't like that. I. I just think it. These new phrases should be easier to say. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

“That's why like the guy's got wrist makes sense to me.”

Because you're saying a lot in a very short little word. Yeah. Um, that's why I think it's useful. No cap cap just feels like it's. You're complicating something that's.

You know, let's not meant for you. Um, and then I think there's the one about any. I don't they add maxing now to every. Yeah. Yeah, there's all like frame frame mugging, gesture maxing.

Oh, well, that's because of the social media. Uh, star. Um, who, who looks maxing, who, which he helped invest. And I thought of a joke the other day. I ran over a controversial.

Um, social media. Uh, person with my truck. Yeah. I was charged with. Clevicular homicide.

Okay. Well, look, I'm getting mad respect. I wrote that joke the other day. It has, um, I saw him being a douche somewhere. And I just was like, okay, that's what.

I don't like she's going to clean it. I don't know what to can. No, I do a bit on the Oscars that was all about me trying to appeal to young people. Yes. But the whole joke was that's impossible if you're doing it on.

You're doing it on broadcast television, and that was the joke. But someone sent me a clip of Clevicular watching it and saying, Dude, the wasting is time trying to be cool on network TV. And I thought, you know, that's the joke. Clevicular.

But then I realized I'm engaging in an argument with Clevicular. Um, no. And that's when I thought I should use this time for good and write a joke about Clevicular, where he gets hit by a truck. And then I came up with it.

We in, sorry, you're charged with Clevicular homicide. Come on, high fives all around. No high fives. You say so much non-sensical words. I feel like you could come up with a slang term.

I'm not with something a lot better than cap, no cap. Okay, let's say, hey, are you serious? Say something that's like, hey, this is serious. Seriously. Seriously.

No, that's a department store. It was a department store. It was a department store. No, it's a long gone. Seriously, it's so long gone.

We can change it. And it's just SRZ. Okay, serious. What are you going to do? Can you say, I'm serious.

Like, it's 1998. What's that? I don't know.

“Okay, you're, I think I'm better at this than you are.”

And I think you're drifting away.

You're the closest to this thing.

I don't know.

“I'm going to say we Adams probably the expert because his kids are like the perfect”

age. Yeah. I do hear cap, no cap. Tell them it's not good. And to switch to seers, SRZ.

Loki, people say all the time. Well, actually, you're all sparse thing said, which is really funny. And we say it at home now. Loki, can you and Lee? Yeah.

Yeah. Which I think made up. But it's like, yeah, a play on Loki. Yeah. They say Loki a lot.

I just said what Skylar Haley told me to say. That was one where it was like teaching a dog. How to speak by putting peanut butter on its lips. Skylar said, say these words. And it will be funny.

And I went, okay. So seers. So seers. So seers. Hey, seers.

I thought that was a good bit. Yeah. No, no. But what's the. You don't know.

I feel like I don't know. No, no. Blake has one. Yeah. Oh, lots of people will talk to chat.

Like, yeah, chat.

“That's, you know, because when your live streaming, you're looking at a chat that people”

are talking about, but people are bringing it. IRL into into real life and and saying, oh, yeah, chat. Let's go out to dinner at, you know, Chipotle or whatever. Well, I don't know. Okay.

There are reference saying that yes, a chat can can be happening while you're having a conversation online. I'll say chat instead of guys. Hey, guys, let's go do this. Oh, that's okay.

That's bad. Or there's like the silent screen. I feel like Gen Zita. Have you seen that? Or the like.

Oh.

I've never seen that before.

Or also say bet. Yeah, bet. Bet. I've heard that. Really big.

You know what? I want to do. I want to grow even older in ignorance. Okay. That's my dream.

It's just to drift away on the ice. Okay. I don't know about no cap, chip chop, flip flop, squabbley do. I love it. You do?

Do you? Did you not use slang terms when you were younger?

“I think I used slang terms from the 40s when I was growing up in the 70s.”

Oh. Oh. You must have been so cool. I was like, hey. 23 is good.

You know.

I was always trapped in the 1930s and 40s in the late 1970s.

Sure. You know? Yeah. I was a weird, weird kid and no one should do as I did. All right.

I think we learned a lot and also in a way we learned nothing. Yeah. And maybe we now know less than we did before and we've accomplished our mission. Beautiful. Sears.

Sears. Sears. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Mac Corley. Produced by me, Mac Corley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer

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