The Big Bird Fluffer

Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started. - Hey, Michael, welcome to Conan O'Brien. It's a fan.

- Hello, thank you, though. - Hi, Michael, how are you? - Good, how are you doing? - Where are you right now in the world, Michael? - I am in Atlanta, Georgia,

at the Center for Puppetry Arts. - Oh, you work with Puppet. - Puppet, I'm gonna say I don't think I've heard of it, but tell me, this is a puppet museum, what is it? What are we doing here, are we storing puppets,

“are we displaying them, what's happening in your puppet world?”

- Yeah, we're a museum, a puppet museum. We're also a performing arts center, so we have performances that involve puppets on stage, but then I work in the museum side of things.

So I'm the Collections Manager,

which essentially just means I take care of the puppets. - It's a museum. - Okay, are we talking famous puppets here, would these be puppets that I know? - Yes, we have about 500 of the Jim Henson

original Jim Henson puppets. - Oh, we call those puppets, don't we? - Yes, okay, we can. - Well, I'm sorry, we in the business puppetry, call that puppetry.

So you have puppets, you have 500 puppets? - Yes, we do, we have 500 puppets. Ms. Piggy, Carmen, this has any street characters, puppets from the Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. - Wow.

- Among others, so I had the-- - Well, I had the-- - I have the honor and privilege of getting to meet Jim Henson a couple of times. In this is long before I did my late night show or anything,

I, when I was in college, his daughter Lisa was on the college, Jim Henson with me, and he would come by. And he once said to me, Conan, would you, would you, for the college, Jim Henson,

would you guys like to have one of the thrones from Dark Crystal to keep in your building? Just for fun, 'cause we have it in our storage facility and I said, oh, God, yes, Mr. Hansen. And I rented a van and drove down to New York

and picked up with some friends of mine,

“this really cool, I think it was fiberglass,”

dark crystal throne, and brought it back to the Lampune building in Cambridge. And I believe it's still there, really. - So that one's still there? - I think it's still there.

- Mine have to make our road trip to go get-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys should come take it 'cause I don't trust those idiots who are looking after it. (laughing) You know, probably, it's probably just holding a beer keg.

- But a lot of the dark crystal stuff and the Labyrinth stuff is really difficult to take care of, just due to the materials. So, some of it's not around anymore.

- It's incredible, so you have a lot of Jim Henson stuff,

that's amazing. Any other famous puppets that I would know? - Yeah, we have Lampchop. We just got a Lampchop and friends, puppets, which son-in-a-be, you remember from my childhood

I sure do. - Do you have a Lampchop? - I was. - What was her name? Her name was--

- Oh, God, what was the Lampchop, Lampchop? - Sheery, Lampchop, Lampchop. - Sheery, Lampchop, Lampchop. - Yeah, yeah. - And Lampchop was her puppet.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Remember Lampchop? - Uh-huh. And, um, we have the Mystery Science Theater 3000 puppet. - Oh, wow.

- Which you can see behind me. - That's all over there. (laughing) - You just moved your head a little bit and Chucky is there. - Oh my God.

- Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Yeah, Chucky. - You just buried the lead. You have Chucky.

Is that D Chucky? - It is the Chucky, A, D Chucky. There are multiples. This one is from the newer TV show. That was, I think, on sci-fi.

So it's a newer one. But yes, it is the Chucky. All of our puppets are original. It's usually performed. - Okay.

- Before they're gifted to us though. - Yeah. - So, what about an average Joe puppeteer? Can they donate their puppet to your museum? - Yeah, we have a process.

But we do take acquisitions. We do acquire things. And so, yeah, we have, you know, in that 5,000 puppets, we have puppets from all over the world, you know, different puppetry traditions

from all over the world, puppets that they back, you know, 1800s and so, yeah. People can call me right me and offer me the puppets. - This must happen sometimes. Someone comes to you and says,

"I'd like to donate my puppet and the puppet is a command." It's like a paper plate and they cut a mouth in it. And they, you know, it's just not good. Are you in the position of saying,

“"I think we're okay, but thank you so much."”

Do you have to turn down puppet sometimes?

I feel kind of bad doing it, but you're right. I mean, not everything is the museum, or the as much as people want their stuff to last forever. - Okay, Michael, let me ask you this. - You're not the selector.

- Michael, would you ever just despair? They're feeling, say thank you. This is such a wonderful piece. And then when they leave, feed it into a shredder. - Oh boy, oh, come on.

- What? - We can't be shredding puppets? - Well, yes, you can. - No, you can put them in a box. Why are you shredding them?

- Because you got it, you're just gonna run out of space. - I'm thinking you spare the old puppets here.

- You're always shredding them.

- That was the gun book. - Okay, well, all right, well, Michael,

“I mean, I think you're just repeating what Sonna said.”

So, I think you secretly agree with me, but you know you wanna keep the puppet people on your side. Listen, yeah, I just-- - I'm just-- - I'm just suppose of them in appropriate manner, I suppose.

- Sure, yes, yes, we call that burning. - Come on. - Or just bury them. - You know what would be a good thing to do if you wanna get rid of puppets is dip them in like a beef broth

and then throw them into a pack of dogs. - Oh my God, you've never worked in a puppet - I just to see a puppet torn limb from limb. Seconds after it was donated by a kindly old puppeteer. (laughing)

- Yeah, all right. - And then he comes back 'cause he left his wallet and he's like, "Oh no, my little gum gum!" (laughing) - Michael, you're awful.

- Think about it, Michael. It's something you're gonna wanna do and now that you've pictured it, you're going to do it. Michael, let's say it's, you're working there late which I'm sure has happened sometimes

and it's getting dark and you're walking around. - There must be times when you think. - Where's this going?

“- There's a, I think I saw that Chuckie puppet move.”

- Come on. - I saw it. - I mean, it's, I mean, it's every third twilight zone. These puppets come to life and they manage you. Have you ever been a little paranoid

being around these puppets at night and be honest? - Be honest. - Yeah. - Okay, well, it was one time where I did running at a coworker. I pretty sure I heard an noise.

- Of course you did. - Of course you did. - I'm usually in here by myself and the lights turn off automatically. - Uh-huh.

- After a while, if you don't move around. - Yeah. - So, uh, yeah, I did. - Which puppet, which puppet do you think was moving? Which be honest, which puppet do you think was moving?

- Well, none of your lives, none of your lives. None of your lives. None of your chicanery or Tom Fullerry. Which puppet are you quite certain was moving? - I, I think it was one of the skexies

from the dark crystal. - Oh God. - Yeah, the skexies. - I was there in a back room by themselves. - Yeah.

- And the light is always off back there

and I was walking back there but the light doesn't turn on until I'm in the room. - Yeah. - We can catch as my movement. - And as I was walking back there

but before I was in the room I definitely heard it. And was it like, 'cause she comes, 'cause she comes. (laughing) Oh God, she's got beef broth. - Oh God.

(laughing) - I did feel a little silly when my coworker came in and obviously, that was that thing going on. - What, the thing is, these puppets aren't dumb. They know that when you bring someone else,

“they got to clam up, so that's what they do.”

They freeze and they clam up and then your friend leaves and they're like, "Yeah, we gotta catch it, we gotta catch it." (laughing) - Yeah, let's all have Chuck E. right here behind me so that, you know,

I think you're if he's out in the open, I don't have to worry, I always know where it is. - Yeah, why do you have your bag to him the whole time though? - That's the thing you're doing, Michael, that I would never do.

You have him, Locate, Chuck E's right behind you, and I think he's holding a weapon. Is he holding a weapon? - Yes, he is holding a knife.

- Yes. - What the, Michael? - Michael. - But Michael is right next to him. This piggy would fuck Chuck E up, she would.

- How do you know, Miss Piggy isn't, does this an also wanna be freed from her human overlord? I mean, Miss Piggy might help. - He might, there's no chance. - What are you talking about, Miss Piggy doesn't wanna,

would Miss Piggy would never do that?

Miss Piggy would defend herself and everybody there, 'cause she's a puppy, she has a puppet too. - No, but that doesn't matter. She knows who's right. - I don't think she would wanna scare the spotlight

with Chuck E. - Yes, sure. - Okay, Michael, that's the first sensible thing I've heard today. (laughing) She's a diva and she wouldn't want Chuck E to get all the press

for being the murderer. So if anything, it's gonna be Miss Piggy who gets you and Chuck E who's just, you know, watching in horror. - I don't like this blouse of you. (laughing)

- No, when it comes to Miss Piggy. I wanted to, can you ever brush Miss Piggy's hair? - No, I do occasionally have to fix the wigs that don't pop the tab, but I do like weird things. Like, I have to fluff big bird occasional.

(laughing) - When you say fluff big bird.

- What are we talking about here?

(laughing)

“- She gets flat, you know, I mean, yeah, I don't know.”

Oh, I know. - It's good to have a little whip, you know? - Yeah, so, yeah, I have to fluff them all. - No, come on, we got a big shoot going on here, big bird. (laughing)

I'm gonna fluff you up. - It does, it does, it does. - Time is money, big bird. Time is money. (laughing) (upbeat music)

- I'm gonna tell you the most horrifying site I've ever seen, Micah, which is one time, I was asked to do something on Sesame Street. This is, you know, could have been like 25 years ago. And I went over to, I think they were in Brooklyn

or I went over to Sesame Street. And they have to store the puppets wherever they can,

'cause, you know, space is limited.

And they had lash-nuffel suffogous to the ceiling, because it's a giant puppet. And you've got to store it somewhere. And it was lifeless in animate. Limp snuffel suffogous.

And it was lash to the ceiling, like parts kind of hanging, but other parts secured with ropes. And it looked like Hannibalector had gone psycho on snuffel suffogous. And then nailed him to the ceiling in this ghastly

performative, behold my proud masterpiece, my murder.

“That's what it looked like and it was the most horrifying”

thing I've ever seen. And kids were walking around, so kids could see it too. And I had to tell the kids, oh my God. I mean, I had to make sense of it to them. So I told them he wasn't careful and he was murdered.

(all laughing) No! I had to think of something! That's not cool. Yeah.

Well, at least I got off snuffel fluffing a big bread. (all laughing) Yeah. And took us to the mass murder. And it's not great to see the puppets not,

like they're supposed to look. We've got the puppets in somewhat poor condition they had been used. Obviously for years and then in a warehouse. So we didn't have to do a lot of work.

So part of my job is to make sure that they still look like the characters, they're supposed to look like. So we don't destroy children's. So some of these puppets we got have been, you know, road hard and put away a wet.

“They're like, these are fucked up puppets.”

(all laughing) You're not saying they're like a whole worn out. They're all screwed up. You know what I mean? They've got holes in them.

How? Like a whole hole in them? Yeah, mock holes, stuff like that. You know, dismembered sometimes. Yes, yes, you know.

And so I mean, it must be ghastly sometimes the puppets you get, you know? Yeah. Well, you know, they're just puppets, but yeah, I don't want Elmo to look like Elmo.

You don't want him to be like, no. It's like when you make God forbid, but sometimes, you know, you have to go to a wake and the person was in a bomb accident. And you just hope that they, they look like themselves.

You know what I mean? So sometimes you are like the mortician for these puppets. You have to make them look presentable. So they're loved one, see them in the correct state and not like enough love, I guess.

Oh, bachelors really? We didn't spend that much there. Perfection, plastic surgeon. Yeah, we do actually take needles to some of the foam latex puppets, all latex is a lot of the dark crystal

labran puppets and it sort of dries out over time. Oh, trust me, I know. I know. Yeah. So the foam kind of dries up and they wither these puppets

wither and then you guys have to pump them up. Yeah. Oh, my god. I like pop that moutox. Yeah, pop it go times.

Well, and I just want to touch on this briefly because I know we don't have tons of time, but you're also very much into fan fiction. You love Harry Potter fan fiction is that right? So sometimes when you're with the puppets late at night

and you're trying to calm down because you're nervous 'cause you're pretty sure you just saw Chuck East, sharpening his knife. When you're in that situation, sometimes you read Harry Potter fan fiction

and you're a fan of, what is it? Drionum, mini, dry, what did I say, Ron? Drionum, mini, trionum, mini, trionum, mini. Oh, sorry for mispronouncing that. Oh yeah, you're right.

Drionum, mini. That word we all just spit out. Yeah, I'm sorry.

If I'm never pulled over for DUI

and they asked me to say dronum, mini, I'm just going to say, hey, just take me. Put me away for 30 years. Let's not even do the chest. How do you pronounce it?

I was into a lot of audio, podcast, audio books,

And that goes for, obviously Hermione

and who, what's the first part?

Draco. Oh, Draco, mouthful way. And why are you or anyone else? Why do you want to come, what is it about those two characters that is particularly appealing?

“Like, how come Harry Potter's not in this combo platter?”

Oh, I think 'cause, you know, who doesn't love a bad boy? And Draco's story didn't really get finished in the original. So I, you know, it's fun to see people's imaginations

of where does that go after the end of the book, where do those characters go as they become adult? Do you think that Draco and Hermione could have a love interest? Is that what some of this fan fiction's it's going on?

Mm-hmm, although I thought it was a couple that could really exist. I mean, who did you write any ended up with? What's this name? Hubblebee, Wubble, Gubble, Ron.

What's that? Ron, Ron. OK. So... Bubblebee?

I don't know. It's been a while. I know. I'm just saying, I don't know. But I get what she said, 'cause I love fan fiction too. And there's so much stuff that comes out of it.

And it's just fun to imagine two characters together and it's sexy. So it's Draco and so on. And so, oh, this is her fan fiction. We're Draco and Hermione get it on.

Is that what that's something that could happen? Yes, thing.

I mean, there's not definitely the first song

that I read was Manecled, which is sort of a handmade tale meets Harry Potter fan fiction. So if you've read Margaret Atwood, Tamara Manecled, or watch the TV show, wait, sort of that situation.

OK, OK, I'm trying to picture this. You know, it's crazy behind you. But behind you, Chuckie, just made it. Goo-koo, in his hands. Get a load of this.

Oh my god, here she goes again. [LAUGHTER] Hey, does Drumble does Drumble do it? Does Drumble do it? Isn't he the wizard or something?

Doesn't he-- Does he ever-- Oh, yeah, right. But he's like the head wizard. It really dresses like a wizard.

There are some dressed like they go to Oxford College. They're like, oh, look at me. Oh, I'm a wizard. Oh, really?

Yeah, because I'm dressed like I go to Princeton.

So to--

“He's like the guy that's committing to I'm a wizard, you know?”

Of course I'm right. I've not said one thing today that's wrong. Yeah, you're not wrong. So does Drumble do or ever walk in on Hermione and Draco and be like, what the hell's going on here?

Does that ever happen in these scenarios? So far, not red one, we're a double door in it at all. That could be a new one. Yeah. Yeah.

He's not the sexiest character. Drumble do or-- Yeah. Do you want to bend? Some people are into that.

I don't know. Clearly, you are. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I like 'em old and bearded and wearing a moumou. So--

People prefer to see Hermione end up with, you know, potentially attract your character, like, drink, go, it's potentially-- Is there a consensus that Ron is just sort of a dud? Like, people are actively going out of the way to rewrite Harry Potter so that it's not Hermione and Ron-- Ron, it's Hermione and Draco, like, that's much more exciting.

Don't you think? Yeah. I think so.

“I mean, no offense to Ron, but he's a wet noodle, you know?”

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. He's no fun. He drank.

Yeah, yeah. You can keep saying that. I'm just saying, you want-- you want there to be, like, love-- it can't-- they've got to-- I've got to do it. And it has to be--

And he can't love her. So this is the thing. You know. What'd you say? You want the redemption arc.

You want the enemies to love her. Yes. Yes. That's the redemption arc. And you don't get the redemption arc with Ron.

Ron. Ron. You know what I mean? Are you upset 'cause he's, like, the red head and you kind of see-- I don't like the way red heads are portrayed in those tails.

Oh, it's a bunch of brothers with red hair. Where do they do? I don't know. One of them gets killed. And two of them kind of are go nowhere.

You know? You know, their bumbling stumbling, they-- they come from this goofy house? Yes. That's why I'm mad at these books. Red heads are completely ineffectual lovers.

You know? Talk about needing a fluffer. I think you know about Harry Potter's in your running on of human reading. I mean, some Harry Potter family can understand. I read those books, and I burned them because of the red hair depiction.

Well, it's the Weasley's. Hey, what name should we give the red heads? Oh, I have it. The Weasley's.

It's a shit show. All right.

Micah, I'm really happy that you've got your world involved with both puppets.

And a reality where Hermione makes the correct choice, which is the blonde hair, the evil guy, over the red, do good. Micah is salute you.

“And I think of myself as a human puppet.”

And I really am. I mean, most people look up my work, and they think you're just a giant. I'm kind of like a snuffle of, I guess, a big goofy puppet. Wouldn't you say? I would say more.

I mean, your famous for the string dance. So I'm thinking Mary Annette. Yeah, Mary Annette. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I, uh, coming from you, that's a big compliment.

Yeah.

“And you're trying to fool us a little bit.”

Yeah. There's a lot of puppets on the old chill. Tomorrow, the Austria. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, if they need a hole, the Center for Puppetry Arts is here. Well, say. Yeah. Well, can you imagine triumph in your museum?

Well, I would be a disaster.

All night long. You suck. Chucky. You suck. Hey, there's another red head.

Chucky. There's another red head. Rounding out the stereotypes. Our one murder puppets, the red head.

“Well, Mike, it's a delight to talk to you.”

It really is. You seem like a really nice person and I love what you're doing. And I hope to meet you in person someday. That'd be fun. Yeah.

You should come by the museum. We'd love to have you. I want to come by at night. I'll get 'em. Yes.

Yeah. Bring a little beef broth with me and some rockwilers. Okay. All right, Mike. Just threatened your puppets.

I better get out of here. Yeah, I wish you the end on that note. Thank you. I make a thank you. That's really good.

Bye, thank you. Nice to meet you. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gorley, produced by me, Matt Gorley, executive produced by Adam Sachs,

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