Cult Psychology Explained: Authority, Dependency & Exit Punishment

considering where we're at politically, socially, spiritually. If we don't address this problem, we're just going to keep cycling in the washing machine forever, and I'm frankly, really exhausted by it, and I'm sure many of you are as well. This is what we will do in the face. Sometimes the cult dynamic does not actually originate from the leader, and I need you to let that sit and marinate for a second. It often originates from the follower. Unresolved

attachment wounds, identity hunger, and authority outsourcing often cause another person

to place someone in a role that they never asked for, that the system doesn't actually

not built around, that's not how the system is supposed to function, and then the end of presenting them for it. Especially when boundaries are introduced. Disappointment starts to become betrayal. Idealization flips into accusations, an obsession reframes itself as victimhood. Your brain is wired for deception, but here's the truth. Patterns can be broken. The code can be rewritten. Once you hear the truth, you can't go back. So the only question is,

are you ready to listen? There's a word that gets thrown around casually right now. And it's the word cult. A word that shouldn't be used casually. It's dramatic. It's emotionally

loaded, and most of the people using it can't actually tell you what one is functionally,

and often the people that are using it are actually missing the plot entirely. They're using it as retaliation, or as a bi-product of projection. Hint. There are certain types of people who are both attracted to and create cults, and it's not the people who just want to help people and let them move along with their lives. It's the people who become fixated, obsessive, and feel they have to be close to something

and proximity to hold on to. But I digress. Today we're going to slow this down completely,

“and we're going to go into something that is very uncomfortable, but I think very necessary to”

the moment in time in which we find ourselves. We're going to talk about what a cult really is,

and how cult leaders operate psychologically, and most importantly, what has to be present for something to qualify as a cult. I'll do my best to make sure that we leave absolutely nothing in the gray. Cults are actually not hard to identify when you understand the mechanics that play, and in today's remnant of the Me Too movement and victim culture, this word gets misused, and it gets thrown around to cloak a much bigger problem that we'll dive into in the episode right

after this. So let's start with the mechanisms, because when you understand the mechanics, your clarity on this matter becomes automatic. This is what a cult is and isn't. A cult is not defined by a strong personality, bold ideas, devoted followers, emotional experiences, or

“people changing their lives. And I want to jump in here and say, I think part of what has happened”

sociologically is we have thrown around this word cults in a different way in terms of like a cult brand-balling, a cult classic movie, right? So we, we, the people are partially responsible for morphing and twisting this term, because we, the people, have used it in these ways in which it's not actually functionally described. And it's important to note that these things exist everywhere from religion to sports teams, education, fitness therapy, right? Think about soul cycle. How many people

came out of soul cycle or potentially were fired from soul cycle or went on to try to make their own version of soul cycle and felt that they had to slander or defame soul cycle and call it a cult in order to, you know, air quotes free themselves from it. A real cult is defined by its control systems. And the cleanest definition of a cult is that it's a closed psychological system where autonomy independent thought and external reality are progressively replaced by an enforced dependency on the

leader and the ideology. That's it. It's actually pretty simple. The leader in many of these cases, if you look at something like soul cycle and other fitness phenomena that have certainly gotten pulled up into this sort of conversation, the leader likely wasn't demanding worship and they probably weren't demanding that their followers be obedient and this their form makes it oddly not a cult. Where I think this can get really confusing is as a business owner, right?

I'm a business owner and this is true for any business that you operate in. There's a clear SOP, right? Like here's how we do things that's distinct from the way they do things, right? Yoga Studio X is different than yoga Studio B. In yoga Studio X, we do this. We do this to this.

“We don't deviate that's what makes our brand unique. So I think what ends up happening is that”

in this sort of SOP, what makes our thing unique, what makes our brand aesthetic unique,

put a pin in this here as we're moving through this because this is something that I've seen

all over. And you can look at this in social media influencers in, you know, air quotes, cult following brands like Soul Cycle. You've certainly seen things like this happen in booty.

“But I think the key here is having something that has done a specific way”

and asking for somebody who is in whatever that thing is to uphold that certain way, that is not inherently a cult-like control system. That is just simply an SOP. If you worked at a bank and the bank said when you close out the bank, you have to do step A, B, C, and D, you can't skip B and C and then claim that the bank is a cult because they're restricting your ability to do whatever you want. That logic doesn't actually hold up.

So I want you to go into this thinking of these specific mechanisms, because the mechanisms of a real cult are very specific and they're actually not hard to identify, especially if you move off to the side, how we've kind of sociologically contorted this word cult over time.

So the first mechanism of a real cult is called authority capture. In a cult, the leader is becoming

the highest moral authority. They're becoming the final interpreter of reality. And they are, in general, the self-imposed center of worship or reverence. In a real cult, a leader is typically separated and they're placed in an intentional position of hierarchy. The hierarchy below the leader is also typically something that is very built on power dynamics to reinforce the authority capture. So this is really important because in organizations, naturally there is hierarchy. Right for

corporation to function, there has to be some type of hierarchy. We've addressed this in previous episodes. One that comes to mind is the power projection collapse of personal responsibility.

As much as I wish, you could run a company the way my brain likes to run things, which is,

you know, everybody just kind of moving fluently as spontaneously through the world. That's not actually how a company functions a company needs systems, a company needs to know who reports to,

“there needs to be some type of organization. So I think it's important to emphasize that any company”

is going to have some level of hierarchy in structure. And that is not the same as a person if you've seen the documentary Wild Wild Country, who features O show, which the object today, people are quoting O show all the time. But I encourage you to go watch this documentary. We watch it during COVID times alongside the Tiger King. It was a wild time. Go 2020. So if you watch this documentary, you'll see that there is a very specific separation. And the separation often includes, for example,

the leader wears this color and all the followers have to wear this other color. So from the outset, there is an entire division that's very intentional and a separation where like the lowly people can't reach this person or somehow have to pay to have access to this person or through some sort of servitude you get access to this person. So I think that's really important because I understand when people are not in power structures, it within companies or haven't worked

their way up the ranks. Sometimes seeing what you interpret a power structure to be in a company, I could see where this would be something that you might kind of infuse with their own lens. But to be really clear, authority capture means that there are no other people that are allowed to give opinions. There's no other sort of consensus body that is working towards something. There's there's no group dynamic. There's this godlike person up here who is in fact demanding

to be revered and seen as separate. And then there's all these other power structures below, which are typically built as like a ladder-based system to achieve the status of whatever this leader is. So number two is dependency engineering and this is very, very important. Colts are built to capitalize on a need and then use that need as a transaction to reinforce the power structure. So typically this is emotional, social, spiritual and some examples of this could be

exchanging basic survival needs for obedience to, you know, experiencing love for eternity. I've worked with a lot of clients in break-methan who have exited Colts and some of the stories that you hear are really alarming. In general, when you're actually in a Colts, you are dependent on whatever that organization is for food, shelter, child care, things that are much more rooted in basic survival needs. And if you're thinking about how free child care can be used, there are

“plenty of examples of this even within kind of Christian Mormon communities. I think there's been”

an understanding that if we give X to Y community, they are going to naturally, you know, pay

builds dependence, not independence. So another thing I want to bring up is this idea here about

getting free child care or something where your kids are being cared for within maybe more of a religious context. And then if you dare ask any questions, then your X communicated in a

“machine filled way. This is an example of this sort of dependency-based system. And the key here is that”

in order to be a Colts, there needs to be a clear understanding that without the group or without allegiance to the group, you face some sort of dire consequences. I worked with somebody who was leaving the Colts of Mother Gosh, why can't I remember what it was? They're based on why it was one of the craziest ones I've ever experienced. But he was led to believe through years and years of literally mental programming and mind control. But if he left the Colts or asked questions,

he would be cast into some sort of dark abyss for two billion years to just wander as a soul. And imagine, they're pulling people into this sort of understanding that potentially are already feeling lonely and in need of some sort of group, thus why they're being attracted to it in the first place. So of course, a great control tactic is if you leave, you're going to be cast out into the dark abyss for two billion years. Does that sound good? No, well actually, that is the most

“profoundly exponential version of my fear, therefore you're getting my compliance. So it's key here,”

a Colts system is always going to force reliance and it will never literally never bolster

independence or personal power. So anything that is helping you find your personal power and your voice, that cannot be a cult. The third one, which we touched on briefly, is exit punishment. And this is the clearest tell of all cults. Leaving a cult is never positioned as neutral. It's often framed with some sort of dire spiritual consequences. So I mentioned that I had that client who, if he left, he was told he would drift off in the black void for two billion years. And he

really believed this. And the point here is allegiance to a cult is often maintained by some sort of spiritual mechanism that instills a deep, deep fear. Most importantly, it's typically tied to you either dying or fearing bad things for your physical safety as a result for questioning your actions. Think about the cool aid cult from back when we're a little right. They somehow, that man convinced people to doff themselves, right? So there's some sort of intentional

capture that typically hits you in a more existential place with some sort of dire consequences for what happens if you leave. So if you have our part of something, and there is a built-in system of punishment with some sort of if you do this, then why will happen to you or you will be cursed? Frankly, I've seen this far too often in some of the charismatic Christian community. It's like, oh, well, if you turn on this, then like, you don't even know what God's going to do to you,

God's going to curse you. Honestly, this is the same sort of cult tactic, just throwing that out there. Side note, a common tactic that I see when somebody leaves a community for a variety of reasons that isn't actually a cult is that they create a false cult narrative to draw attention back to themselves. They know deep down if they just moved on because they didn't feel aligned.

“The only thing that ever would have happened was a simple text of wishy-well in your future endeavors.”

But you know what? That is the thing that agitates in our system. The fact that they could actually just leave and the system would keep doing what they do without them. If they feel the need to leave something or even worse have been asked to leave, the cult claims guaranteed for you are just around the corner. And the irony, the only one acting out real cult like tactics is them, saying things like you're in deception. We can't even have a conversation until you see the truth.

If you can't see that you're compromised, we can't have this conversation. Creating an entire victim story, while about exiting a cult, while ironically creating the same sort of cult narrative around themselves. Here's the deal. I have been around these tactics for a really long time now, and I know this for sure. If someone disagrees and is able to leave freely without drama instilled by the organization, it's visually not a cult. If a leader or a

company or community doesn't put themselves in a position of concentrated power and, in fact, one others elevated, that's also not a cult. Let's dig into the psychological tools that

cult leaders use to gain compliance. The first one is called identity erosion. The most important

thing here is that followers are subtly disconnected from prior relationships, and these prior relationships are deemed to be dangerous or harmful. So an example here, this is something that I see all the time in break. When I'm working with clients, there's often this feeling when you're starting to uncover what's really going on beneath the scenes, where your patterns

clients no sudden moves. It's really common that when you feel like the blinders are coming off,

you just immediately want to shake things up in your life and, you know, cut out toxic people. And this might come as a surprise to some of you, but in break method, we take a really opposite perspective of this. We encourage people not to do this, to actually sit with the

“discomfort and make sure that if you feel like you have to make changes in a relationship,”

that you've done this in a really logical and systematic way, and that you're not just knee-jerk reaction to new information that was introduced. So this is an example in a cool environment, typically you're convincing a person that these other relationships are detrimental or harmful, all in an attempt to actually get them isolated away from any prior thinking or prior other frameworks. So what we are trying to do in break, for example, is to make sure that there's no part of them

that does cause that separation until or if they've really thought their way through it, because I think this is true in a lot of especially like TikTok, Instagram, mental health, there's this sense that you should just cut out toxic people. And if you keep doing this and you don't realize that maybe the toxic person is you, you risk cutting people out of your life that really may not be the problem or should at least be dealt with in a way that has more empathy and

more longevity to it and not just because you're knee-jerk reactioning. So when it comes to cold

tactics, one of the first things that they do is they actually try to sever these connections.

“And I think these connections are really important. And another example would be in break method,”

I think that there's this common theme in traditional mental health that I can be separated from my problem, go work on my problem at a retreat or whatever, and then I can go back to my problem and somehow be better. This is often not the case. You are best served learning how to deal with your problem, right? Whatever problem is in your environment, while you're in that environment. If you leave to go on a retreat hypothetically, you've gained all this new

knowledge, but it's not practically embodied to be handling the problem. So then when you're coming back, you have these new ideas, but you haven't really learned how to manage your triggers in your actual environment. So I think from a break perspective, cutting off prior relationships

is incredibly detrimental, and we always try to discourage from this no matter what. So if you're

ever in something where there's this sense that you shouldn't talk to people that aren't thinking like you do, that should be an immediate red flag. And to be honest with you, I've seen this

“to some extent, and I have not been in the Christian world, honestly, most of my life I was”

raised to, as you might know, from watching my previous episode. But I do see even in some really good like spirit-filled Christian communities, this idea that if you're not equally young, you shouldn't hang out with these people. And I do think that that it rides this line of identity erosion, right? And I think big picture using the example of Jesus, Jesus hung out with the sinners and the people of the day that he wasn't supposed to talk to and connect with,

because at the core of it, right, you're supposed to operate with the heart of love and forgiveness and help transform people by being the example. So this is just to me an example of where even in communities that you may be a part of, there are these subtle lines of identity erosion that could and should be red flags. If you are a believer, and you're going to a church that's telling you literally can't be friends with anybody that doesn't believe exactly what you do, I think you're

missing the mission field personally, just from a believer perspective. But I think this is also kind of writing that edge of potentially cool like tactics. And then I think the other thing that I wanted to address here in regard to separating you from personal moral frameworks is really important because if you were to go into a cult, right, and I got our producers to look up the name of the cult that was trying to refer to, which is the cult of Mother God. I had a client come out of

this one that was really interesting case. So if you're going into the cult of Mother God, right, and if you're listening to this, I just put up air quotes. And previously, you were a follower of Jesus, and I don't know too much about the cult of Mother God and their tenants of what they believed etc. But there's going to come a point where they're going to make you choose, right? You can't hold to simultaneous things true at the same time. So that's another piece of identity erosion

is like you can't be part of our group unless you cast that aside. And again, I think any leader or any organization that does that should, again, be an immediate red flag. I'll give you an example and break method of how we handle this because I think we've gone above and beyond to try to make sure that, you know, because we're working with people who are in trauma states as we're working with them, you have to be even more careful about how you're managing these sort of relationships.

and so this coaching program and that program, like, do you think I should just stay focused on this one?"

“And I think the first and foremost thing to note here and just for you out in your life and”

what you're consuming or a part of, this should be something that you look for in the leader.

I will always say, coming from the perspective of break method, I'm not personally familiar with any

of the things that you're describing. And the advice that I'm going to give you is not coming from a place of judgment. I will say when it comes to break method, sometimes if you're trying to look from four different paradigms simultaneously, that can make it challenging because things are conflicting or language feels somewhat similar. So I'll say it's completely up to you and whatever you choose to do. We honor that decision. I do think that it might be a good time to put

some of those things on the back burner if you feel comfortable for a couple months and then you can always pick those back up when you're done. And it's always framed exactly like this, right, which is this is a choice that you have, whatever choice you have, we're going to honor that choice. And I would be lying to the client. If I said that these things might, you know, not have some sort of just breakdowns and logic is more commonly what I see where it's like, one thing is

telling you to do this, one thing is telling you to do that. I think it would be the equivalent of

“driving a car with two sets of gas puddles and two sets of brakes. If that's what I've got,”

I'll work with it, but it's not an ideal scenario. But again, from the communication perspective, if the leader is like, oh no, no, you have to do, right where it's like, you have to, you have to language, should again be a major red flag. If somebody's willing to explain their perspective

and ultimately say, I always tell me, you're the master of your own destiny. I'm along

for this ride with you. And whatever you choose, I'm an honor that. Even if I'm giving advice on something and I disagree with their approach, but I'm fully willing to get on board with their approach and walk it out alongside them, that's what a real leader should do. And if somehow there's this division of like, you can't do that in this simultaneously without being somehow in error at risk, that absolutely falls into the category of identity erosion. Another key piece here is called

information-gating. So, information-gating is when external sources of information are labeled as corrupt, dangerous, or inferior. And followers are explicitly taught or ordered not to look at outside sources of information. They're also taught not to be curious, not to explore, and any question is positioned as a threat. So, an example of this could be, if you're part of this quote, you are not allowed to read a Bible. And I mean, not to not to pick on the Muslim world

right now, but it's just top of mind because when I was at church the other day, they were talking about how many Bibles have been distributed in Iran. So, it just comes top of mind. But in a country, for example, where even just being in possession of a Bible, you can get in serious trouble. That is an example of a cult tactic, right? That's information-gating. So, somebody encouraging you to explore X, Y, and Z, or, you know, flagging example like in our practitioner training,

we have a lot of therapists. So, I'll often explain, like, okay, you've been taught A, B, and C in school. What you're about to learn here is going to directly poke holes in these things. I encourage you to look at both. And then, again, it's your job to formulate your own opinion. But if you are dealing with a situation, say, like Iran, where you're literally not allowed to have a book or read a book, or someone is trying to control what you can and can't have access to, say, even like

diminishing for a speech in the United States, that is information-gating, and that is dangerous, and that is the behavior of a cult. Another piece is called emotional leveraging. So, this is where fear, shame, or something like salvation, is used to regulate behavior. So, you'll fail without us. People who leave us won't make it. Only we understand you. They don't understand you. So, there's very, like, we, they language. An emotional engagement becomes a leash and a fear of failure,

shame, or in some cases, even death, like I described for this one client, are used to convince the person to stay in the group. So, it's not just like, you can't do this that well without us. It literally has to be one level higher, which is XYZ, terrible thing, cursed, living in some sort of

“dark abyss for two billion years, or death, etc. will happen to you. Should you choose to leave?”

Right? That is the emotional leveraging where they're using fear and shame as a way to control you. Another piece is called artificial scarcity. Access to the leader is restricted and often achieved through sacrifice of money, servitude, or achieving new levels. Right? Validation is unpredictable, and it's presented as synonymous with spiritual access. And to be clear, this whole model is built

to create addiction, not real commitment. A note here, one of the ways that this is almost always

colors, or giving access to certain minions that are falling you around. And if you've ever been

“around this firsthand, there's also often the language that is used to separate the so-called leader”

from the regular followers. This separation is often used to motivate or coerce followers and trying to reach these new levels of access. And immediately, when I was thinking about this, and I know we talked about this briefly already, I thought about this documentary of wild wild country, which I fully recommend. It's a great, great one to watch. Followers would do just about anything to get close to OSHO, even if he wasn't talking to them. So, they're literally willing to like,

give up their livelihood, their families, their friends, just to gain proximity to be in his presence. Right, that is an example of a cult-like environment. And this is why that matters. Not one of the most dangerous cult leaders in history taught people how to think. These people taught people what to think, and often there was punishment if there was any deviation or questioning. They discouraged questioning often with physical violence or some sort of overt punishment. They isolated followers

from their loved ones. They increased dependency on the cult, so you couldn't really do anything on your outside, on your own, outside of the cult. And they framed leaving as a form of death or severe consequence to your personal life. So, I want to make it really clear what a cult will

never do. If whatever you're part of is doing this, not only is it not a cult, but it's

essentially an anti-cult. It's like a cult's antidote, if you will, a real cult will never teach you metacognition. Metacognition is how to think about your thinking. To learn how to observe what you're thinking and most importantly, why you're thinking it. This is completely antithetical to cult tactics. They don't want you to think about your thinking. They just want you to conform and not ask questions. They will never encourage critical thinking. They'll never encourage curiosity or

deeper discussions. They will never invite curiosity, especially in a group environment. Cult leaders never present something as a hypothesis to be discovered. It's like this is what it is and if you don't accept this, you're going to hell or if you don't accept this, you're going to

go into the best for two billionaires. And they never push people into personal autonomy and freedom.

They don't want you to be happy and fulfilled and peaceful on your own. They want you to be completely dependent on the group for those things. And they certainly don't reduce your reliance on the system. They want you as reliant on the system as possible. And they never want to normalize out growing the container. And the last thing, and this is the key, they never want people to leave stronger than when they arrived. And then this is very important because again, kind of going

back, let's go back to kind of the sole cycle example or other fitness brands. Hey, let's even throw on Tracy Anderson, okay? Tracy Anderson has had more people leave her fitness modality. Basically, directly copy her, call it something else and become successful than any other

“fitness personality I've ever seen. And I think this is an interesting one to look up because”

let's use that example, let's use, and I'm surely this is happened with sole cycle, although I don't know too much of the nuts and bolts of it. But it's normal for somebody to rise up in something right from potentially student to instructor, they're an instructor for a while, they build a social media following. And eventually they want to go out and do things on their own.

I personally think that's great. I've always been in support of it. But you know what I've never

actually seen executed properly is that person leaving and doing their own thing in a way that's truly unique and different and doesn't use the destruction of the system that raised them to be their new marketing platform. I've sadly almost never seen that while executed. I've seen elements of that, but more often than not, the person that leaves feels like they have to somehow destroy the family or the system that helped create them and they have to destroy them as a way

to build up their own thing or to somehow be their marketing platform. That is a really sad thing to watch and it's not only happened to me, like I've said, it's happened to Tracy Anderson like so many times, I can't even believe it. And certainly it's happened to pretty much any any

“system like this it's going to happen. And I think what's really important is I, for example,”

in everything that I teach, I always declare and I mean this with every cell of my being. If I'm going on my way to spend time teaching something, my desire is for my students to do what I can do and then more. Otherwise why am I doing what I'm doing? Right? If you are out there teaching

even further than you. That should be the heart of a teacher. And what sad is I think, you know,

I, for example, I don't know Tracy Anderson personally, I only know kind of the little things that I've seen in the news on social media, et cetera. But I will say that at least in my experience, if somebody came up to me and they're like, hey, I'm so grateful for all of the things that I've done with you and in booty and you know, the time has come for me to do my own thing. It's really different. I'm making sure that I'm not like copying or stealing and I just want to let you know

like I'm grateful. Do you know that there's an exactly zero percent chance in my world that I

“would have been mad about it as a teacher? That's what you want. You want that. A real leader is not”

in the scarcity mindset. A real leader is not worried about somebody going on to do their own thing.

I think what ends up happening is that sometimes people through a variety of mechanisms that certainly we've discussed on those podcasts, they somehow don't feel like they know how to separate from the thing that raised them. Like I don't how do I make my thing different enough and maybe I can't make my thing different enough so that I can feel an integrity about that. And you know what happens as a result, they have to demonize the thing that they came from. Instead of just being like,

my thing isn't really all that different, but I want to do it by myself, right? So it exposes, I think another core issue which certainly we can get into on next episodes. But I think the key here is that this is what is actually most common when people throw around this thing is that really many people can't, they can't leave and move on without causing exactly what we're describing right now. It's not that this actually was the system from which they came. It's that for them to somehow

feel absolved moving forward. They have to demonize or weaponize the thing that they came from

“on their way out. And I think it's really important that we learn how to identify this because”

if a system is really trying to empower and equip and they're just trying to follow an SOP like, hey, if you're going to do this for us, just try to do it this way and don't deviate, that's not toxic, that's not narcissism, that's literally how a business is run. And at a certain point if a person doesn't want to do that anymore, they've got really like a couple of options. Option one is I don't want to keep doing it that way anymore and to come up with a truly

unique and different way of doing it in which case if it's truly unique and different, praise God, go do, go do that thing. If it's not truly unique and different and you just don't like to be told what to do, I feel like there's another mirror that you have to look in psychologically there. And I think far too often that actually is more the problem unless the it really is truly unique and different. But in both cases and as I've said, I've seen this happen with so many

different leaders, influencers, groups, communities. The people that are ready to leave because it's their season to move on, they can't do that without creating the sort of system of chaos and drama around them, which all but ensures it's coming from that narcissistic projection, because a healed healthy person wouldn't do that. That's not how you do things. You just say thank you so much. I'm no longer aligned with this personally and I'm ready to go do my own thing

and then you know if your leaders are related they high five you and then you know everyone moves

“on with their lives. And I think key here which I know I've already harped on is for an organization”

to just kind of be like, "K, bye. Love you. Good luck with your life. There's no way that that's a goal. It's literally impossible. It doesn't meet any of the markers." So I think this is the thing that we have to center and on and it's a hard thing to face but I think considering where we're at right now politically, socially, spiritually, if we don't address this problem we're just going to keep cycling in the washing machine forever and I'm frankly really exhausted by it and I'm

sure many of you are as well. This is what most people don't want to face. Sometimes the cult dynamic does not actually originate from the leader and I need you to let that sit and marinate for a second. It often originates from the follower. Unresolved detachment wounds identity hunger and authority

outsourcing often cause another person to place someone in a role that they never asked for that

the system doesn't actually, it's not built around that's not how the system's supposed to function and then they end up presenting them for it. Especially when boundaries are introduced, disappointment starts to become betrayal. Idealization flips into accusation and obsession

projection and when this person retaliates from a place of their own wounds the most ironic thing

“of all is that this is the person that ends up creating real cult like dynamics. They need people to”

align with and support their claims and anyone who doesn't support their claims is deemed less than or indolusion and I don't know who needs to hear this but anyone who talks like that is the very thing that they are pretending to stand against. A person like this can't handle discussion or civil discourse because their psyche knows that their illusion will come crumbling

down. It ends up garnering them more attention which by the way is something that they always

wanted from the outset if they maintain the facade elevate themselves ironically into their own leadership position of their newly created cult. Having been in the business world natural health world yoga world for over 20 years I have seen this so many times. What's more concerning to me though is how many people get pulled into this web that they can't see how their own fears and insecurities are setting them to get pulled into something that actually really does function

like a real cult we are good they are bad division manipulation coercion. Not to mention when these things happen anyone who dares ask questions or calls out these psychological manipulative tactics guess what they're next on the chopping block they're going to get attacked as well and again this is exactly what makes these things actually behave like a cult. If you're all concerned that you may be a part of a company or a business or a religion that may be a cult I put together

five questions that you can ask yourself so that you can safely navigate your way out of it. Number one if I asked the person leader or founder a question would they be open to discussion or dialogue? If the answer to that is yes you are not an occult. Number two is this group community or company encouraging me to become healthier stronger and more autonomous instead of dependent? If yes you guessed it you're not an occult. If the leader or founder moved on or left

would there still be a community or framework that remains in its absence? If yes you guessed it

“you're not an occult. Is moving on or transitioning in a new season treated with punishment?”

If no you're not an occult. Am I encouraged to build friendships and explore with curiosity with people both in the group and outside the group? You guessed it if yes then you are officially not an occult. Real cults actually failed this test very quickly and it's not even a close call.

Most cults will fail this question on question number one. The reality is that true leaders

don't want followers. They want to create more leaders. Who wait? Isn't that a core value of booty? I think it is real leaders want to help raise other thoughtful adults who desire to enhance their metacognition and heal the wounds that cause people to act out and divide others. They don't demand loyalty. They actually want to encourage your personal agency and they don't need you to stay. They love you and they want you to be a part of the community as long as it's the right fit

for you but most leaders that are not a part of cult like tactics are perfectly fine when you're ready to move on and in fact they know it's part of the process. It's a natural process. Example would be I work also with a lot of recruiters using brain pattern mapping and break method and any business owner knows that there is a timeline and trajectory to a higher. You don't usually hire somebody forever. Especially if they're really great candidate,

there's going to be a time when that person is ready to springboard off of whatever opportunity they had with you and move on to the next and that's better to embrace that from the outside. And this kind of goes back to cult leaders, typically real cult leaders, they typically need

people to become obsessive and fixate on them and they want that attention. The reality is what

I've seen on the flip side is that often who people fixate on an obsess over often do not want that attention at all or not those say but people and in fact are much more likely to be avoided

“and they don't want that connection at all. So I think that is what fuels the system and”

cycle in which we find ourselves in. And I think if we don't stop right now and take a cold hard look at how our childhood wounds predisposes to deal with systems of power like this, we are just going

a part of it's sad for me to watch some of my other friends and strong female business leaders go

through because it literally you could pick any five random strong female leaders but we didn't know literally just give me five. If I spent five minutes interviewing them you know exactly how many of them would have experienced this. 100%. It happens. It happens everywhere and I'm telling you right now. It's not happening everywhere because it's objectively true. It's because this is what happens when you have these two different types of brain patterns trying to organize into a system

that doesn't cut this stuff sooner. And if there's one thing I've learned personally throughout the years of being in these businesses and watching it impact friends and other companies

“and myself you have to start things off with stronger boundaries and believe me that I've got”

many learning lessons here and I'm currently in the process of doing that but the other thing

that I want to leave you with in addition to obviously doing your own work to see if there's a way you're engaging with these systems that treats the system that's actually a pretty objectively sound system but the way you're relating to it is emotionally dysregulated and obsessive or clingy or needy and validation seeking and when you desire to leave or move on because it's no longer your season if you are the one that has to kick all the doors and do the FU FU your cool FU I'm out

maybe you're the problem because if you're allowed to do that and nothing happens you're for sure not part of call you are about to start your own call ironically. So what I want to leave you

“with before we close this episode is the importance of understanding seasons of things and I believe”

I talked about this on the episode power projection and the claps of personal responsibility there have been different parts of my career where I've been in this one really specific focus area and I've been learning and growing and potentially I've had a mentor right I told you that a long time ago I worked in PR for a woman named well almost that her name woman and PR who were just gonna call the French lady we're not gonna out it almost came out but the French lady

and there was a season there that was like a full blown hell in my life like so much hard work

exhausted in a level that I've still never experienced in my whole life and about to turn 41

but there was a purpose in that and when it was time for me to leave I didn't leave and like try to destroy her I left grateful for what it brought out in me what it taught me how it set me up for success moving forward and I think sometimes people miss this idea of there's a time and a season and maybe something is for me in this time and I'm going to learn and grow from it and then sometimes that time is expired maybe it's time for me to go on to the next thing if I look at even my career

for example it's so obvious that like for a few years I'll be focused in this one area and then all of a sudden it's like it feels like this big upheaval and I have to pivot and do this other thing that is actually how the world works and if you don't have a more anxious attachment style you don't immediately go into a dysregulated nervous system response and feel the need to attack the thing that's you know being asked to change you just change because change is part of life

so I want to encourage you for those that do have more of this anxious attachment presentation think about change being good and that sometimes changes and things are exactly what you need for your good even if maybe they feel scary in the moment you don't have to turn on something or weaponizer demonize it when it did serve you for whatever season it was for you and also reminding you I have seen this time and time again we're often invited out of a door and if we leave that

with respect with kindness with openness and with gratitude when we need it that door is open again but when you do it the way that I think is more common these days you leave the door with the FU FU FU your cool FU except really now just blanket all that to your cool it's a hard for that door to remain open right in many cases there ends up being you know thousands of people whose emotions get swept up and it's really painful and sad to watch and just so unnecessary

“so remember that seasons call for different moves in your life and it's okay to feel called”

to walk out of a door but do your best to walk out of that door taking accountability

things that you're happy about on the way out too because guaranteed and I've seen this so many times

every time there's been some sort of like upheaval or mouse movement against me in particular within six to nine months most people are like busy I'm so sorry I don't even know what I was thinking I mean still to this day from something that happened literally what feels like forever ago I'll still randomly get people popping back into my DM's like oh my god I just want to save him falling from afar I know I did X Y and Z but just will you please forgive me wasn't

can say this for certain I'm a really forgiving person probably too forgiven I feel like that's

“something that I'm trying to work on and transform in myself because I think I'm too quick but”

it's a good idea as you are feeling called to make a change or a pivot in your life to think about

all the ways that you can do things in a way that is clean that's all if you can do something in a way that's clean and you can either say thanks for the good times I'm going to go try this new thing on my own and the organization of the person is like good luck I wish you well guess what not a cult or if you can just literally leave and move on with your life and just keep doing your life and nobody says anything also not a cult so it feels like given the time and space

we're in today some of you needed to hear that and I hope that breaking down these mechanisms helps you be able to identify more securely what is and what isn't because it's like the greatest

most confusing distorted world out there right now really is like upside down world and you need

to put your helmets on folks it's wild out there every day is like psychomotional spiritual battle and if you don't know how to hold these lines you're going to get swept up in it I keep seeing that people keep getting swept up literally every day I look I'm like another and bites the dust another one another one so you don't need to be another on the bites the dust you can strengthen your metacognition learn to see clearly and not let your emotions

grip you into irrationality and if you are somebody who skews toward anxious attachment hopefully this is a really good reminder to you if you've found yourself in a group that feels comfy and feels like home and you've made friends there you guys are the prime target of this kind of stuff

“so just guard your hearts use your brains and just remember that this is a very tense moment”

in the world right now there's so much going on obviously I'm I'm not at this current juncture going to do a whole episode on the Epstein files but let's be honest that's like out there and everyone's like you right now everyone's getting bombarded with really dark sickening like really really dark sickening images those of you that have followed me for a long time know that I I was talking about that stuff a long time ago so I've already had time to face it and heal from it and move on

but for some of you this is like a big wide open gaping wound and I would encourage you to look carefully to if you have you know a prayer life or a relationship with God to look into that stuff perfectly and not just go looking just to look with no purpose because it can really uproot your entire life and sanity because of that bad so in a time like this where we're being bombarded with all these images and it feels like everyone's fighting everyone's like left

versus right everyone's pointing fingers this is a really great time to root down in your emotional and physical sovereignty and to not let other people or information so quickly compromise you I'm gonna be teaching some more episodes coming up shortly on different tools that we can use to make sure that we're not being coerced or manipulated specifically by social media even just some really practical tools on like if a social media influencer

saying X and you want to go verify the validity of that how to go do that research I'm gonna do a whole episode on that because right now it's just like a big tornado of confusion and I really

“feel I feel for all of you I remember what it was like when that bandaid first got ripped off for me”

it's very intense it's very destabilizing because it kind of makes you question everything about your existence if you're really looking at it and you're not just kind of looking at like the news filtered versions of it so just remember guard your hearts it's a wild time to be alive I'm simultaneously the happiest I've ever been and just so grateful for all the aspects of my life I literally took a break today to go pull my sourdough's out of the oven so just showing you

you with strong meta cognition even when the storm is like swirling around you everywhere and you can

still bake your sourdough bread there's always room apparently for sourdough and I never would have

known this a year ago so just know everybody I love you lots I'm excited to be on this journey with you

and don't take anyone's word for it go research yourself follow your own senses follow your

“intuition and just remember how easy it is for our emotions to get weaponized against us if we don't”

do the work to understand those strongholds and I think to me that is the biggest gift of

break method is understanding how your emotions distort your reality and get you to set traps for yourself so

“if you want to free yourself and actually have your mental faculties about you especially in a”

time like this a great place to start is brain pattern mapping I also have the renewer mind lecture series that we're in right now we're going to lecture to tomorrow it's a 20 week series so

“it's not too late to join us all those links will be in the show notes and just remember if you”

answered just any of those questions you're not in a call you're welcome I'll see you soon your brain isn't broken it's running an old code break method is a system that maps your neurological patterns decodes your emotional distortions and rewires your behavior fast no talk therapy spiral no getting stuck in your feelings just logic based rewiring in 20 weeks or less had to break method dot com and see what your brain is really up to