Ep. 10: Dear God, Show Me How to Love You More (Sr. John Dominic, O.P.)

Jesus is truly present here." And I'm going back to this understanding, like, I believe that.

“So, I need to do something about this. So, I express that to sister. And as I really think,”

I want to become a Catholic. Wow. And my closest friend, she started thinking about a religious life. And we shared that together. Okay. And when my mom and dad began to see that I was starting to think about that, they were like, "Whoa. Is there only frame or reference was a cousin of ours that was a Harry Cruciner in California?" So, it was like a cult to them. Oh, seeing the goodness of my sisters inspires me to greater goodness. Right? Because you could be really

easy to see the, they're not so good, you know. Hi, and welcome to Dominican Sisters, open mic. My name is Sister Miriam of the Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother the Eucharist, based out of

“Ann Arbor, Michigan on our podcast. We're talking all things Dominican. And today have a very”

special guest special because she is one of the Founders' of our community, Sister John Dominic. Sister, thank you so much for coming. Thanks, Sister. It's great to be with you. It is an honor to be with you. And we want to get a little bit of information about how you came into the faith and also some of the work that you're doing. It's in a little, that's a long journey. And so, we'll keep it short. Sister, what do you want me to start? Let's start a couple of biographical details. So, you're from

originally born in California. It's right Berkeley to be exact. Berkeley and in the sixties. In the sixties. And then you move to Tennessee. Yes. Okay. Nashville, Tennessee.

“Tennessee. And then you enter the comment, I like to give just a general. You enter the comment”

in 1982. So, you've been in the religious life for the quick mental math. Quick mental math, some 40 years. Right. Right. Right over 40 years. And you are a teacher. You have taught many grades.

Can I garden through? Not kindergarten, but first again. No, no. You wouldn't want me to teach you

in the garden. So, first grade is the lowest I've done. So, first grade is great. Yes, great. And then you've also been principal for 20 years. Over 20 years, you actually founded our schools here in Ann Arbor, Michigan, spiritual scientist academies. Right. Of course, you founded the Dominican sisters of Mary mother. You're just like to start things a little bit of a start-up. I like to start things up, which is great. And now you're the director of Open Light Media as well, which is the reason why

we're here. I know. So, bless you in this podcast. So, thank you, sister, for all these things that you've been involved in and got going. And I know you've done it for the Lord. Yeah, I'll figure it out. So, yes, and he just kind of pushes you on. So, yeah. So, sister, tell us about growing up. Your life growing up. You were in California. And was your family Catholic? No, no. So, I'm actually to this day. I'm the only Catholic in my family. So, we moved. I would describe my family. We

came from California. So, naturally good, more of a secular mindset down. My dad is a Christian today, which is wonderful on my sister. But that's a whole long journey for everyone. My mom has since passed away. But when we moved, kind of imagine moving from California to National Tennessee, which is the Bible Belt. So, that was a little bit of a transition for us. But I had really just a more of a secular mindset, but just good. And, but what's interesting is that

they, in National at that time, instead of going to a public school, I went to, I went a couple years of public school, and then we moved to a private Christian school. Okay. And that's common in National. There are a lot of these small schools that came up around the many of the churches. So, the church was a method of church that had the school that I went to. Okay.

So, would that have been your first exposure to prayer and scripture at that? Yeah. So,

when we moved to National. Okay. So, I had a lot of separation and anxiety from my grandparents. They were, they were very loving and my grandfather. We love the San Francisco 49 years.

Yeah. And he used to take me to go watch him practice. You know, like the shrine was always like

theirs candlestick in the candlestick park in the distance, which is, I don't think it's there anymore. But when I went to the Christian school, we would have assembly on Fridays. Okay. And on Friday, they would sing this song about the end of the world. Like, and people would be in left behind. And it scared the bajeebies out. I mean, it's just like, what is this about? You know, I mean, we were doing some Bible and then, and so, I started falling my mom

“around the house, because I was afraid. And I think it is probably was rooted in some sort of”

separation and anxiety. It made him probably deeper, you know. And she was like, you know, why are you just like this little shadow? What's going on? And so, she talked to a neighbor who said, well, why don't you have, why don't we make arrangements for her to come talk to our pastor who was the Presbyterian? So, we went to the church. I could still remember walking in and it was very plain and the pews were empty. And my mom walked in there with me and sat down and talking to him.

And he was the the kindest, most gentle man. And I think they must have told him a little bit. I had it about what was going on with you. Yeah, because I think he was prepped a little bit, you know. So, he got it out of me. And I was just expressing the spirit that I had. So he said, this is my suggestion for you. I want you to get a Bible and put it beside your bed so that when you're afraid or you begin to feel this fear, just pick it up and just read the Word of God. So I started doing that. My mom,

you know, I didn't have a Bible. So my mom went out and purchased me a Bible. And I kept by my bed. And so when I would start being nervous or afraid or having this fear, I'd read the Word of God. And I'd be peaceful. I can't tell you there was a verse that I would ever say, but just the Word of God calmed me. And then I started saying this little prayer, this is a little bit of spoil, a little Lord of my story. But, you know, dear God, show me how to love you more.

So that prayer, did you just come up with it? I mean, I just made it wrong. I didn't know what, no one taught you to say this particular prayer, but it's a beautiful prayer.

Yeah, I don't know. And you would have been pretty small. Yeah, it was like a third grader.

“And I was like, it's kind of, I just like keep it simple. Do you God show me how to love you more?”

And, and he just kind of, that's that was kind of like the beginning. It's gradually, you know, throughout my life has shown me that, you know, that path, as I've grown older. Yeah. I wonder if you did you tell anyone about the prayer? No. No. It was between you and the Lord. There was between the Lord and He. And then even I don't even think I told anyone until later, you know, of out my conversion that I'd even had had the Bible there

to pick it up, you know, that I was, you know, a little embarrassed about being so afraid, you know, because everyone else was kind of fine. They were seeing that song all the top of their lungs, but it was scary to death. So then going into high school, it jumped ahead a little bit, but going into high school, what were your aspirations? Do you have a career in mind? You were thinking about marriage or, well, what was on your mind at that time? None of those things. I don't think,

I mean, like I went from, so it's interesting. I went from the Christian school, and then at that time in Nashville, there was an option between the all-girls Catholic school that I went to, and there was another all-girls private school. And I had a lot of friends that went there, but we made the decision just for distance, and people that we can carpal with just practical reasons that I went to the all-girls Catholic school, whether they're going to the other one.

I never, I didn't even know what Catholics were, and I had never seen a sister before in my entire life.

The sisters were at this school. Yes. The National Dominicans owned the school around the school,

“and I can remember, like, look into them, like, what are they, you know?”

Let's go on. They were your teachers. They were the, yeah. So they were some of them were the teachers, and they, since I was non-Catholic, they would put the nine Catholics in one class, and the Catholics in another class. That was for the Philharmonic theology. Yes, so, yeah, so my friends, we had scripture in this older sister taught us. She was the sweetest thing, but I didn't, you know, I didn't go there to, to be a Catholic, for the, I went there really just with academics and to play basketball.

shocked that I can still actually, you know, sink it. I don't get involved with basketball when

it's going on. Your first-year year of first-year, you don't do the basketball. I'm just, yeah, but I can

still make it. This is a bit of a tangent, but when the sisters are playing basketball,

“it's pretty competitive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so I think it's best for me to stay out of people's”

way at that point. Well, I do that when we're playing all kind of hangback a little bit. I don't get underneath, you know, but yeah, they're very competitive. Yeah. So you're playing basketball. This is where you got your skills. You're developing your skills. In high school, I mean, how did you, how did you move towards Catholicism? That's a, yeah. So my first experience of ever attending a Catholic Mass was a Melcide Wright. We had a priest at a bishop that was there. And it was in the gym of the

school, and, and then that Wright, the Melcide Wright, they had lots of incense. So I think I kind of walk in, and there's all this smoke, and everyone's there, and I was like, what does happening here? You know, and it was, it was very unusual. That was my very first exposure to it.

Okay. So I managed, we would have masses, but I don't think, I don't know if I always went,

I always found someplace else to go over there, but the truth comes out. You were somewhere else. A maskipper, right? So Sarah, I busted people. I know, well, yeah, there you go. I would have been the first one. So really, it wasn't until my sophomore year that actually steered just Ranger was my teacher, but again, I could just on the Catholic and the non Catholic. Okay. So just the background for some of our listeners. So Sister Joseph Andrew is also one of our four

founders is of our community. So you have worked very closely with her over these last 30 years, right? But she was at your high school, right? That time. Yeah. So she taught me, yeah, she taught me morality, and she was there actually all four years that I was there. She taught at the high school. Wow. Okay. And mother, Sumpto, was the priors general at the time. Okay. And by

there, Sumpto was another one of the founders. Right. She was the first one of the times. Yes.

So where you were spending time with Sister Joseph Andrew? She was, yeah, all the sisters were around. Okay. It was really, it was really beautiful because it was an all-girl school, and they were very, it was very natural. But I didn't, I didn't like choose it. Like, like, I was, since I was on the basketball team, the sisters were smart. They'd be like, okay, I need, they'd ask the coach. Can you get the girls to come volunteer directly? So can you come do this? That is so classic.

“And I was so mighty. And then I was a freshman. And I get there and be like, where the seniors?”

And why am I here? And I'm not here. And so I finally figured it out. Yeah. Dan, so just being around the sisters and getting to know them had had an impact on your spiritual life. Right. Right. So I think just, it was a gradual, again, you know, you think about that prayer. You know, dear God, show me how. Yeah. That was the extent of my prayer. So I made you pray five seconds a day, you know. But then as I began to, in the class and the, the moral theology,

I think is what we were studying. Sister was really smart because she would, she had a more wish she would just pose questions. And so she would be like, what's more important? Think in her feeling. So my dad was a very, it was a very practical man. So my sister and I were taught at a young age to think, you know, be a real logical. So I was like, of course, thinking is more important than

“feeling. I mean, you have to think. So that was kind of like a little debate that we had. But I'd say those”

are those type questions and those discussions. It began to stir in my heart. This understanding for what is true. You know, and I thought, oh gosh, well, I believe what this, I didn't know. You know, there are a lot of things we would talk about, but I like gosh, I believe that. That's true, you know. And it really wasn't until, again, this is one of these things that we would go, we would go to the motherhouse and they would take like a whole class for retreat. So my sophomore year, I don't know how

inspiring this is to people, but my friends, we went to do the retreat. And it was on Saturday night. This was like a mandatory retreat at all. Go. So they take the whole class. So I brought my little TV so we could make sure we saw Saturday night live later. I might get a second. I know in that terrible, you know, but I had just true confessions. But however, on that same retreat, so the

in adoration. And I remember writing down, sitting here in your presence. And I thought, wow,

“I believe that Jesus is truly present here. And I'm going back to this understanding, like I”

believe that. So I need to do something about this. So I express that to sister. And I was like, I really think I need, I want to become a Catholic. Wow. Yeah. You know, I want to, you know, I believe he's present. I want to be able to receive Jesus. And you know, this is something, you know, I just it was a gradual understanding of the truth. Yeah. How do you, how would you describe, knowing God or coming to know God, how, how, how did that impact your life at that time as a high school student?

Right, coming into relationship with the Lord. Yeah, that's a great question. I think as this

under this gradual unfolding of what's true. And then if I'm moving towards this relationship and

believing that Jesus is there, then my life needed to be, I need to live and conformity to that. So like my junior year, I couldn't take my TV to watch it. You know, I mean, like I had to start making decisions. No more sketching out on that. Yes, and again, you know, it was all girl schools. So it was fun. You know, we had great friends. We, you know, we ran the streets of Nashville before. We know everything in Nashville at that time and every end. But, but then I would just have to

make decisions. But I mean, I could still have fun, but I just wouldn't, you know, engage a lot of the other things up. Right. You know, we would do. And they respected me for that, too. As a matter

of fact, my senior year, when we all went to Florida for spring break, most of the parents were like,

well, if I was going with them, they were going to shap around. Wow. Sister, good for you. No, I don't think many adults would do that today. We all went. I was like, we all went, but no shap around the university in your year to Florida. So now, tell us about the process of becoming Catholic. You are making that decision around junior year. Yes, my sophomore year. So the software and the sisters, I think the sisters began to see that I had a vocation and you had to be a Catholic

two years before you could enter. Of course, I didn't know any of this because I had, it was like the thought of becoming a sister. It was like the furthest thing. I mean, like was like, even was it anywhere on my radar. My mom worked on the music industry, you know, and so we had a lot of fun. I mean, she, we could get tickets to any concert. We would want to go to, I mean, it was, I mean, there's a lot excitement being Nashville. Yes. And that was like the furthest thing for my mind, but the sister arranged

for their chaplain to come and give me instructions. So I would go once a week in me with him and he was so sweet. He'd be like, the good sisters will teach you all you need to know. And I was like, I don't think they're teaching me because I'm that ready to get confirmed and I don't know what confirmation is. So they had to teach me. So yeah. So when did you actually receive the soccer? And I did. So, I mean, I knew enough to receive the soccer, but at that time,

there wasn't like the RCA or there was CIA. Oh, yeah. There wasn't just the formal instructions.

“So, I mean, between that and having the classes every day, I mean, I think that's what he meant.”

Yeah, you're, you're getting, religion class days a week. Exactly. And so I did, you know, I knew when I received Holy Communion, I knew when I went. So I was baptized. So I received everything in the month of May. Oh, so I was baptized. I did a conditional baptism. Okay. My family, we didn't go to church. I remember asking my mom, I mean, this, this desire was kind of in my heart. I remember asking her, you know, do we, do we want to go, if she would go to church? And she's like,

well, we'd be hypocrites if we went. You know, because we don't go like it's like Easter. You know, maybe we should go, you know. So, I mean, there's a truth in that. You know, she's like, we need to be true. We don't go any other day. So, I don't know. So I was like, okay, you know. So, but I, you know, they were fine when I wanted to become. I mean,

“this is the advantage of coming from California. I was like, okay, you know, that's that's what you”

want to do. You know, you need to be responsible to getting you to yourself to church and take responsibility for that. So I did. And so I was baptized, uh, conditionally. And I don't know why they did this, but I guess they want to me to get used to it. After I got baptized, categorically, this makes no sense. They have me go to confession. Oh, because when you're baptized,

Basically, I had that down. Okay, whatever. And then I received my first Holy Communion the next day

“at the Motherhouse. Oh, okay. And then a couple of weeks later, there was a confirmation at”

one of the parishes and somehow they got permission for me to go there and get confirmed. Okay. So I think I learned about confirmation afterwards. Oh, wow. I mean, more about it. Yeah. Right. Did you know that the sisters of Mary offer more than just this podcast? Our Apostolite called Open Light Media offers a wide variety of resources for faith formation, for chew education, and catacusus development. One of the programs that we're really excited to

be able to offer is called raised in grace. It's the only Catholic social emotional learning program

that explicitly integrates faith with modern neuroscience. Raising grace is for both adults and children, and it invites them to participate in their own neurodevelopment with strategies based on cutting edge neuroscience. To learn more about raising grace and open light media, please visit Openlightmedia.com or click the link on this description where faith meets learning, you'll find us at Open Light Media. So then it's still, it's still a big jump to entering the comment.

So, sir, do you enter the comment right after high school, right? Yes. Yes. So how did you go from,

okay, now you're baptized in your Catholic and you're living a Sacramento life as a high school student

so going from that to, okay, I'm gonna enter the comment. So again, we were, we were around, it was really natural for us to be around the sisters and the sisters are so joyful. I mean, they were present at our lives, you know, they came to our basketball games, you know, they had plays, it was just really natural interaction, and they were just a present. So all of us enjoyed

“being around them. And so I think that's what kind of caught my parents off guard because”

it was just normal for like a group of us to go to the motherhouse and do something when the sisters be in present. And my closest friend, she started thinking about religious life and we shared that together, okay, and but when when my mom and dad began to see that I was starting to think about that they were like, whoa, because they're only frame of reference was a cousin of ours that was a Harry Cruciner in California. So it was like a cult to them,

which makes sense. I mean, a lot of it looks the same, right? Or something different, you know, rules you're gonna follow. So, man, fairness fairness to them, they had no frame of reference because they had no exposure to the Catholic Church or even what religious were. So, but my friend's mom was very encouraging of us and helped us. And so we entered a she and I entered another person from her class or three of people from my class at entered

right after high school, both of them left. As a matter of fact, my friend who left, when you enter, you have clothes that you wear in. So she went to where my clothes weren't she wore mine as she left. She said, I liked yours much better. And she said, I knew you weren't gonna leave. Really? She knew, you know. Wow. Yeah. So, so they eventually, my family came along, but it was very difficult for them. Yeah, it was very challenging. And from my little sister as

she was younger and year after I entered my parents divorced. Okay. So that was very much of a trial for me personally, worrying about my younger sister and how that was going to impact her. And then and I just had to just trust the Lord. I can remember kneeling and everything like Lord, if this is my vocation, you're gonna need to take care of my sister and I'm gonna need your grace. But I, I mean, divorce is a very, very, it's just a deep source of suffering. You know, it's very

difficult. And that's a whole other show that I love. So, what would you say something that you

“love about living as a sister? Golly, you know, I think, you know, as I look back and you go back”

to that moment, you know, dear God, show me how to love you more. I think that that prayer is kind of like the thread of my life. And that every day you have that opportunity, no matter of, if you enter it right after high school, if you're teaching whatever you're doing, you're living in the

at this time, there's a peace and a joy that comes with it, you know? And he shows us in that moment, he shows us in the people we encounter. This because this is all we have. This is all we have control over, you know? And we can't, you know, get stressed out about the past, we can't stress out about the future.

“It's just right here and now. And I think there's so much about our life that provides that. And”

you just learn that what I'm doing this moment that I'm living in God's. And what God desires for us is our happiness. And it's not like a happy birthday, happy. It's because I also would say it's a joy. There's a, it's more related to a joy because joy comes from suffering. You know, and when you're suffering and you move through those difficult times, you, you step back and you know that, that the Lord is with you, but He's the one that brings that deep consolation within.

So it's, I think it's, it's, it's that. So it's every part of the life and in the moment. Yeah. Is there anything that has surprised you looking back over the years?

Well, I never, I mean, like I didn't answer the community to become a teacher. So I mean,

which is kind of crazy. Because now times, you know, people are thinking about if they have a vocation, there's so many, maybe they just go on the internet and they'll be like, okay, I want to be a nurse. I, I love pro life or whatever there's communities around to support that. I didn't go in thinking that I was going to be a teacher or a principal. I just, like, this is what the Lord was calling me to do. I went in responding to that and wanted to do

something for the salvation of souls. And this, this was the path. And I didn't really know of any other religious community. And because that's all I ever knew, you know, was the sister. Such turns out you love teaching. What I did, I, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I loved, you know,

it's funny because when I said, I struggled as a first grade teacher. I let those kids. I love the,

I love the children. But if you know me well enough, phonics is not, was not my strength. And so I had to teach these. But I looked at those sweet little first graders and I thought, okay, you're going to have these teachers that follow me. And they'll kind of, they'll pick up for where I

“left. Sister, and I think, I think many, many sisters would, I think it's true for me that many”

sisters would say that God knows what's going to make us happy. And maybe you haven't thought, okay, teaching is the thing. But our Lord knew that that was, that would be for you. Right.

Yeah. And that was, be fulfilling for you. And it's amazing to think now, like looking back,

all that you've done through teaching in your leadership, founding schools. And I think this is a good segue into your passion for teaching virtue. Yes, very much. I mean, I think what I know about virtue and my, and my passion for teaching virtue at the high school level comes from or flows from what I learned from you and what you have given us. Right. So tell us about your passion for teaching virtue. And as part of that, I think would be good to flash out like,

why do we want to help people. Right. Thank you. That's a great question. I think, well, of course, you know, virtue is so much a part of the Dominican carism, so it's just naturally a part of our life. But I think when you get down to really to the heart of it, is that every person we're all created in Gaza, mentioned likeness. And after God created man, you know, he said, and it is very good, you know, and that in every single person, there is goodness.

“You know, and that's, I mean, that's what I even, what I would talk about, my family or my extended”

family now, you know, where they are in their faith journey. I don't know, but they're all they're good. They desire to be good, you know, and my patron saying, John Bosco, you know, so there's no such thing as as a bad boy or a bad girl. You know, there's goodness. And I think that's really would, would, would, when was with the driving factor as being a teacher. It's like, how can you pull this goodness out of the student that's in front of you, you know, in that moment?

And, and what virtue is, very, you know, virtue is like this habit of doing good,

What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ? How do we, you know, we, you know, we named it a

“disciple of Christ's education, virtue? How do I live as a Christian? You know, what does that mean?”

And Jesus is the perfectly virtuous man. You know, he's, he's the, you know, the son of God. And when we live virtue, virtue is what it looks like and sounds like to be like Jesus. So, if, and when we're, when we're baptized, we've been infused with the virtues. We've been fused with the gifts. We've been immersed into the life of the Trinity. You know, we become, you know, you know, temples of the Holy Spirit, you know, and so if we're not teaching the young

or anybody about virtue or how to live virtue, we're not really showing them how to live

fully of their baptism, how fully to become the person God's creative and to be because everybody has a purpose, you know? Yeah. So, what we've taken with virtue is we've taken all these virtue words, that same Thomas Aquinas has given us, you know, that we can use. And we've shown people like this is what it looks like and sounds like to be courteous. This is what it looks like and sounds like to be a magnanimous. This is what it looks like and sounds like to be generous,

you know, to be prudent, to be patient, patient, you know, and make it really simple and concrete, very practical, practical, exactly, that you can do it. So, it isn't like this, something this, and in what, what happens when this language, I just talk about like the language of virtue is infused into a school or to our home or into somebody's life. We have this way of like, I can look at you, sister Miriam, and I can say,

I don't know what your top virtue is, but what I experience in, in sister what you're really good at is, usually, right? It is, is sincerity. I mean, sincerity is like you, just like, you're sincere, you know, anybody you meet, no matter who the person is, that you are present to that person, and the other person experiences that, and that's a gift,

“you know, it is something you are good at, you know, but that's what we want to look for”

in the people we meet. You know, God, the father told St. Catherine of Santa that he's gifted us with everybody as a primary virtue. I would think, right, you know, everybody in the world should, you know, we that's why we did the Virtue Quest survey, you know, right, discover what that is in yourself, and that's true humility and truth, you know, God has given me something that that is a goodness in me, and then I can lean into that you need. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

So to know that and let children see that, you know, they're all trying to figure out, they're especially, you know, middle school in high school, what's my identity? Who am I, you know, I'm a son and daughter of the father. I'm loved by God, and these are the virtues, the good things that

“he's gifted me with to live from that place. So that's what drives me, you know, that's what drives”

all that we're doing, is that so that people can see that and recognize that. And yeah, I work with the high school students and amazing job that I love the high school age and we teach them the virtues. I think there's about 40 some virtues, I think, right, sister that that we cover and teach them the the words to the language of virtue and practically what it looks like as a high school

student. And I've always found that the students, they love learning about it, they love the practicals,

and they love to rise up to it. Right. Yes, because it's because there's so much, you know, and there's so much that it's coming down and if you, we need to raise the bar, right, you know, and to give them something that like, and what's really neat, you know, we know from the neuroscience, right, is that this neuroplacicity that's going on is the brain's ability to wire and rewire itself. So virtue is this habit. So when we begin to intentionally think about

saying thank you or, you know, being grateful or being generous, you're really just wiring, you know, goodness into yourself and also because, you know, vices or addictions, those are all wiring to or something that leads, that leads to isolation and virtue and right exactly and

you know, and if you have youth or people that are together and they're

“desiring to be fully alive, I mean, I think that's what I, you know, experience even in high school.”

I mean, we just, you just had fun together, you know, and whatever it was. And even as sisters,

we're always working on virtue needing to work on virtue and seeing the goodness of my sisters,

inspires me to greater goodness. Right, because you could, you could be really easy to see the, they're not so good, you know, because you live really close with the frustrating thing. You notice everything about the other person. I mean, we see the beauty of centuries of the little flower, right, that, that, you know, being next to the, being next to the sister, there was on the, doing the laundry with her, the kept splashing her with the water or the

sister that kept playing with the rosary bees. We can give a list of things to drive us crazy. But if you, if you begin to have this worldview of understanding virtue and look for the good

in your, the sisters or as a teacher, look for the good in your students or spouses to look for

the good in each other. I mean, it's transforming. Yes. And the good outweigh is whatever the frustrating tendency is. I, I, a question my students like to ask is, is there drama, you know, is there need to drama in the comment? And here we are 140 women that we live, we live together. And on a natural level, there are things that came around either wrong way. We're, we're human,

“and that's why we have lots of silence. We have a lot of silence. Yes. We're human and things”

frustrated us, but to be able to see the goodness of my sister and to appreciate it, really brings brings our community life together and it makes it whole and celebrating the success of my sister

is, is worth it. And that's a success for me. When, when my sister does something well,

then I want to celebrate that too. And yeah, it's, and it's true that you're, because it, it stretches you because if sometimes you can look around and you think on a natural level, I wouldn't really pick these people to be my friends. But what you do in community is you learn, if you, if you have this lens, you, you begin to look and see the good in your sisters. And you're like, Lord, thank you for bringing me together with you. And you learn so much from just the

diversity. There's a unity in the diversity. And that's a blessing, you know? And you know, that, again, you go back to that present moment like wherever I'm in a mission or I'm teaching or whatever I'm doing. This is who I'm, at this time in my life. This is who I'm with. And I need to be with. And I could either spend my time looking for fault or I can spend my time looking for the good.

“And looking for the good is so much more life-giving and refreshing. That's what I, that's what I desire.”

So that's, that's what really drives this was virtue to, to like, you know, let's get this out there in the culture. There's so much negativity, so much divisions, so much, you know, things that are separating us. Why, why can't we just refresh it with the language and in a school or in a classroom or wherever it may be that we begin to see each other and to see the good because there's good in every single room. And sister, you worked a lot with practice, just practical tips on growing

in virtue. How can we get better at it? We want to. And it's good for us to get better at virtue. One of the things that you developed was the virtue survey. So I wondered if you could tell I was nervous about that. Yeah. So if you're curious, so like you're listening to this and you're thinking, oh my goodness, I want to know my virtues. And you do, right? So we developed, it's called virtue quest. And this was a team of people. So, you know, I oftentimes I can have an idea and

but I didn't have the skills to make this happen. We had a team of people. So it's a fully valid data survey. So we went through ROB board. And I think it's, I say, it was a Claremont University in California. We had people that are experienced in this field and our website, you can read some bios about them and see it. But so we had to like for the for the youth survey, we had to have thousands of youth across the nation to take it. So it's validated. And then we have

the same survey for adults. And that's fully validated. That just happened recently. Okay. So you can take the survey. You go to the website as free. You know, you take the survey.

We can't, we don't do that for the youth because there's laws and things that to protect

their, you know, protect them. So that's we honor all of that legally. But if you you take it and you answer the questions and you get this little print out and it tells you your virtues. And I tell you it's spot on for people. It really is. And I've watched, you know, when I've done what I've gone to do a faculty meeting, I've watched the faculty and staff do this. And then they take it and they find their strengths. And then I'll ask them to share with each other. Like they say,

“wait, this is my top virtue and they say, why? That's hard for us to do. But this is so important,”

so important when you begin to understand virtue is to recognize that God has gifted you with that

virtue. That's your strength and to celebrate them and to give praise to God for that because he's

the one that gives the growth, right? But then you say it and then the others will say back to you. Yes, I see that in you. So you do that at the faculty and staff, but also we've seen this change of classroom of students. I've seen this is a good idea to do out there if you're a teacher, especially at a heavy eighth graders. We did this one year before they graduated and went to high school. All the students in the eighth grade class wrote down the virtues that they was seeing

that one particular student and the parents made a word cloud with the virtues. They got that

“frame when they graduated. And it's like, so when they went to high school when they were like”

eighth grade, they were king of the school and you go to high school and it's a huge transition.

But I just imagine a person having that on their dresser and looking at that and saying, "This is what my classmate saw in me." And if you can live from that truth, you know that, but then also to take it a step further to be able to see to another people we call that virtues body. Again, we talked about that saying good and others. I find it very helpful. Again, I work with high school students. So when they know their virtues, they become less focused on

trying to be the best athlete. I had to have the best grades. I mean, we want them to work hard to have excellence in those areas. But when it becomes affirmation about who they are as a person, it's deeply meaningful to them. And I've had students, I've given them little shout out virtue shout out cards. And I was going to say, "Oh, I just want you to know, I recognize your kindness. I'm so grateful about that." And they were supposed to put it in a drop box because

they could win a prize. But they weren't putting it in the drop box for the prize. And I was tracking the students out, "Why don't you put your card? You're virtue card in the drop box." Because I'm doing my prize, giveaways. And the students said, "Sister, I put that shout out card in my shoe box at home where I keep all my most special things because it's about who I am." And that's, I mean, because that's one of the things so much too, why? Because the young people

need to be seen, you know, for this path to secure attachment, you know, Dr. Dan Siegel talked about that they need to be safe, seen, sued, and secure. And young people need to be seen, you know, and they need to be seen by the adults of their life for who they are, not for who everyone may think they may become. And I've had even parents share that same thing with me, and we want to give that gin as so beautiful that you would give them that feedback. I've had them tell me,

they'll put that card next to their bed, you know, in some place, because some other adult

“in their life or even a classmate has seen them and seen the goodness. So that's why we want to just”

just, you know, just spread this, because just, you know, I say, like, you know, goodness radiates. You know, I sometimes I wish that I had, like, you go to, I've, you've gone to the airport now, and I have this thing about, like, keep it going. These campaigns, like, with Oprah, or they had to all be part in some place. There, these big billboards on the airport, which is I travel. And I'm like, how can we start this campaign with virtue? You're like, you know,

goodness radiates, you know, and you have this, because that's so much what our culture, we just need that, you know, and in people need that, there's so much isolation and loneliness and it's so sad to see the youth that are anxious and depressed. You know, how can we, and they, you know, if they're

everybody else instead of stopping, and like, what's, what's good in me? So I'm so happy that

“your high school students are so blessed to have you. It really is fun. Yes, it really is fun.”

Any other tips for growing in virtue? So we have the virtue survey that people could do just to learn about what their strengths are and what they might need to work on in virtue. Yes, so right. So what a couple of things is one thing really quick is that, you know, what we do with the looks like sounds like. So if whatever age level, that's so when we teach and you can even do this at home, but you take one of the virtues, and you say, we would, we have had the

students or, you know, draw a picture of what generosity looks like or what does affability look like

and sound like. And then the sound like is, you know, can I sit with you at lunch,

laughability, you know, affability is friendlyness? Oh, hi, what's your name? Welcome. Exactly. But having those examples, those practical things. It's a very practical things. Yeah, but another

“way, another thing I'd like to emphasize is that again, oftentimes we can get into this rut of just”

seeing everything in ourselves as bad, you know, like, you know, we, we, we stone ourselves, you know, we beat ourselves up and we play this script of, well, I'm not good enough or I'm not matching up, especially if we're just kind of, you know, getting into that, comparing ourselves to others, and what's so wonderful and free in about the virtuous life that is that, you know,

if we, let's suppose I struggle with jealousy or somebody, okay? And no matter what that person does,

I just have the surge and, you know, jealousy is a feeling, you know, it's a different, you know, and so feelings are inertial, you know, neutral in themselves. It becomes sinful when we try to deliberately tear down the person we're jealous of, but I may be having these feelings, which can lead into envy of another person who may be better and something to me, you know, basketball.

“Yeah, yeah, right, right. Yeah, and there are some sisters that are better than I am, so”

I will, you know, I'm pretty good on the outside shots, but there's a lot of really good on the inside. But if, if we see that, we tear that down, right, and we rejoice on other people tear that person down. And then we try to say, oh, I shouldn't do that again. So we're, we get in the cycle of like, I shouldn't do that again, as opposed to working and cultivating the virtue that's opposite of that. So let's say it's kindness, kindness is a virtue, you know, that I, that I need to cultivate

in myself to be more kind and looking for the good and of others or in particular this one, but I may not be able to do it to that person. So I start praying to God, because he already sees I'm struggling with that in my heart, Lord. So that's an act of kindness to pray for this person. I'm struggling with jealousy. And you allow God to enter into that struggle into that messiness and to that jealousy, we're inviting him into that. And what is he going to do? He's going to,

he's going to free us, right? Over time, he's going to let me struggle. He's going to, you know, untie what's binding me from that. And he's going to enter into that to where I can get to where maybe I can smile or maybe I can eventually get to the point where I can recognize the good and that person not enslaved by that by that jealousy. So focusing on the opposite, cultivating that and inviting God into that, that's another way when you really want to get down to the practice

part of Louisia. Yeah, that's the heart of it. And it's, it's a much freer way to live. And I love, you have a motto, I heard you say so many times, God gives the growth, right? Yes, yes, God gives the growth. He's the one. And just turning to him and asking for the help and for the grace. Taking a man to his word, he said, come to me all you who are laborers and heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take a man to his word, you know, there's many times I've been up

at that tabernacle, like, are you in here? I'm giving you a given you the struggle, you know? Yes. Are you taking it or not? You know? Sister, you have a big project you're working on right now. Do you want to give us a quick overview about what you got going on? Oh, there's a lot of things. So, well, I mean, in particular, well, there's this, I mean, there's this great things that thankfully, you know, you've come into be able to really help us to get out of the word about

with the podcast and we have the the Torch app, which is free for people, but in particular, making this connection with virtue and neuroscience and really giving Catholic schools or Christian

comes from the core of who we are, and but really in just to say it in a nutshell, what we've done

“through this whole curriculum that we developed from grade three up to eighth grade and we're”

doing cartoons and everything that's in it, but really inviting the youth just like was virtue to invite them to participate in their own character development, and which we would say in the church is becoming saints, right, to become a saint, but also inviting them to participate in their own neural development, so they understand their brain and their nervous system, and so that they can self regulate themselves, or when they're getting these these feelings of anxiety or, you know,

or anger or whatever that we're giving them the strategies and the skills that they can do to give them that agency that they need and that and help them along that path to secure attachment. So Dr. Karen Billa is a clinical neuroscientologist who's going to their fall. She is she's worked with me with race and grace is kind of the program we say and these are the curriculum that we have to kind of follow them, but we have that for adults, we have for students and everybody is

it's all encompassing so that we can come into a school community or a parish community and you know bring everyone together, but you know, I couldn't do it without the sisters, you know, the sisters contribute so much and then the wonderful staff that we have to make everything happen. Yeah, it's exciting. Yeah, so I don't know how you do it all really, but I don't know. God gives the girls, right? Yeah, I guess so.

When I look at this picture in here and as Jesus showing the mustard seeds of the little girl, he's the one that takes it and makes it happen. Yeah, so I want to get to this speed around, but but just as a last question, do you have any worth of encouragement and spiritual advice you want to finish off? Yeah, so I may have said a lot of things that may sound complicated, but this is going to be really simple. Okay. It's going to be like my prayer,

“like dear God show me how to love you more, but I think I think of first John for 19,”

where he says, God first loved us so that if you can imprint that scripture verse and

mind upon your mind and your heart, you know, John was the evangelist with the apostle that leaned up against the heart of Christ at the last supper. He heard the heartbeat of God, and he couldn't write it enough to say that God, God is love. God first loved us, and that you, you, all of us are just immensely loved by God that we, he can do nothing else, but love us. With every beat of his heart, every beat of our heart, as I love you, I love you.

We don't even need to earn it, you know, it's there. And so oftentimes we can get complicated about prayer, we can get complicated about what does that relationship look like? And so I just encourage

people really, really simply is to think of that that that God first loved me, and then when you

start your prayer, just say very simply, I love you too, because in any relationship that you have, your best friend, if they say I love you, you're going to say I love you too. So if you say to God, I love you too, you're recognizing this relationship. And this is so important and so foundational to remember, especially when you're thinking about living in the virtuous life, because you don't live virtues of the God or loving, he already loves you. You're living virtues because it's

you're becoming the person he's created you the year becoming the person who he loves and sees, and you have a special purpose in this life. And the virtues of what gives shape to that, and what it means to become, you know, like Christ, we're creating God's image and likeness,

“and that's how we are, or do this. I'd be a little bit longer than what you said, but”

just remember, I love it. Start out by saying I love you too. Thank you. Okay, are you ready for speed round? I'm ready. Okay. And these need to be one or two quick answers, right?

Yeah, just the first thing that comes to your mind, basically. What's your favorite liturgical

season and why? I don't have one. There's all of them. If anything, I'd be boring to be ordinary time. Sister, do you have a hobby? No. At the moment, what is your favorite game? I know can change over time, but at the moment. The only game I would like to do a scrabble. You do play scrabble. That's the only thing I do. Cart games are too complicated for me.

I just like scrabble. Give me my seven dials and let me spell words.

Okay, so do you have a book that's in Pack and Do your spiritual life that you'd recommend besides the Bible? Oh, one book. I have a father. Bye, father, father of nature. I'll be. Okay. That'd be it. And then that flows naturally into the dialogues,

“the St. Catherine, Oceana. Okay. What is your favorite title of our lady and why?”

Oh, gosh, there's so many. The first thing that comes to my mind is help of the sick and I have no idea why.

Oh, it just pops in, help of the sick. I wish I had something more to say. I mean, that is beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yeah, I don't even need healing. No, that's in different ways. Maybe I realize I should help you lady. If you could have dinner with a saint who would have be in what would you ask them? Oh, my goodness. Okay, it definitely be one that didn't eat. Like a winga had with something. Catherine, she didn't eat. That's hard because the saint's fast is so much.

“So many of them. I want to have one that enjoyed a good meal. So that would have to be”

Saint Thomas Aquinas because he was larger. So I need us a little bit of a tagin. So let's say Saint Thomas. He's going to stay. Okay, I'd want a good meal. Good to have you in meal. Yeah. What age group do you most enjoy teaching in why? That was middle school. Okay. Because they were just fun and they were different every day because they're going to this difficult time of their life called adolescence and some days or harder for them and others

and just loving them in the moment. And yeah, I'd love them. They were just great.

“What is an activity that brings you peace and refreshes your spirit walking?”

You used to be running, but now it's walking because I don't want to have to have any replacement right around. Sister, I really want to thank you and also to take this opportunity to say my gratitude just for your role in my own formation as a sister that I entered in 2006. So that was nine years after you founded our community and seeing your example and your zeal for souls.

Thank you. She has always inspired me. So I'm I'm so grateful to you and thank you for sharing

your thoughts as well on our podcast today. And we got to have you back. We can talk more topics. There's lots of things to do with our community. So sure thank you. Thank you for hosting each of these and it's just been wonderful. So thank you. Thank you. And we want to thank our viewers for watching today for listening. If you would like to learn more about open light media or some of the resources that we have discussed, please click on the link in the description to learn more.

And also we wanted to encourage you that if you know somebody among your family or friends who might benefit from hearing our conversation today from hearing sister's conversion story to the faith and our discussion on virtue, please pass along and also know that you are in our prayers, you and all your loved ones. This is just pray for you daily and we wish you the best may our word bless you and keep you have a wonderful day.