Ep. 9: Journey to Priesthood (Fr. Seamus Kettner)

and I just have to trust myself. You know, that's not a good place to be. I was anxious,

I was on fulfill, I was restless, and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, and I was angry too. You throw that in the mix, it's a bad combo, that's a bad day.

“You know, and you're 21. And I remember, you kind of have in this thought, like, well,”

everything I've done isn't working, so now I get to just try anything else, her persistence, her annoyance, if you will, right? Like, oh my goodness, like, for her sake, I got to go. You got to go, so you stopped asking you the questions, you just stopped. (Music) Welcome to Open Life Media. I'm so happy to have with me a wonderful guest who we're going to

introduce you for the first time in, and Father, I just know you as Father Shamus,

so is that your first or last name? That is my first name. It's an Irish gaelic name, meaning James, and then my last name is Ketner, KET, T, T, N, E, R, that's a German. Oh, well, that's an interesting combination. Well, I'm sure we'll find out what all that means as we go throughout here. So as we begin here, if you kindly start us on in a prayer, that would be awesome. I'd be glad to sister, and then the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.

Father, we just thank you for this time to bear witness to your saving grace, to your son's death and resurrection, and Lord, you have called your apostles and disciples to share testimony, to share one story of coming to encounter you, and to bear witness to you. And so we just asked for an outpouring of grace and the Holy Spirit upon this conversation that we may oldly proclaim your good news and share the good deeds at work in our lives with joy,

with surrender and with peace in our hearts. We pray for our blessed mother's help and guidance in this time that we may just use the words wisely in which God wishes to speak through us. We ask this in Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, Father. Well, for those of you who are new to open-night media, you may just found us here. What we do is we produce some educational material, inspiration, material,

“and we also find ways to make connections with other people. So I think here as we're having this”

conversation, I believe you're going to find a very inspiring, and if there's anyone out there, you think, how could this handsome young man become a priest and how did that vocation come about, you know, and so young the youth and everything that we see? And I find that, you know, so inspiring, myself, you know, many years ago, when I entered religious life, I was only 18 years old at that time. Well, and then I'm a lot older, but you're not going to know why I'm now. That's going to be our

secret, right? Okay? But here, just really just in this local Ann Arbor area, it's really alive

with the faith, and it's amazing to think that here he's been a priest for a couple of years,

and this is the first time we've actually met, no, and we're able to sit down and have a conversation together. So what I'd like to have Father do is to share with you all how God, you know, you've heard me when I've talked, and maybe another times with Dr. Villa, when we talk about this beauty of graduates and how God really works within our lives and very slowly and gradual. And I think the call to, it wasn't like we just wake up and all of a sudden say, I'm going to be a sister or I'm going

to be a priest or I'm going to marry this person. It's a gradual process. So perhaps you could maybe go back to tell us the gradual process of God calling you, really, to your vocation to the priesthood. Yes, I love that sister, you know, with that law of gradualness, you know, being in a half an Irishman anyways, you know, shameless, I love to tell a good story, a few stories, you know, my German, you know, ethnic heritage with my dad's side, I like to be, you know,

“brief into the point, you know, so it's quite a contradiction at times. You must be battling a lot,”

great. I know we're hearing battles all the time. You know, like I, it takes me a lot to get to the party, but then when I get to the party, I don't want to leave, you know, and, you know, my vocation is kind of like a story of that, right? You know, battling with the Lord at different times. As you mentioned, when I look back and reflect now, after many years, I like initially beginning

you know, in a small subtle way, the whispers, but I was a little resilient, you know, or a little

“resistant at first, not resistant, and hearing that, and so it took, you know, a moment that will”

get to, but I'll just start, you know, by, like you said, our diocese, the Lansing, it's a beautiful diocese to be part of here in Michigan. You know, I grew up not too far from Ann Arbor and Pinkney, you know, a small little town there. I attended St. Mary's in Pinkney, you know, but I, in my own vocation story, I like to share bits and pieces of my, my mom and my dad's story as well. Here, my dad with the German heritage, the Dutch other side of him too, heritage. He's from the

west side of the state near Holland and was born into a Missouri Synod Lutheran faith tradition with his mom and his dad and practice the faith more or less pretty regularly until college. And my mom, she was born in this area in Farmington Hills, Michigan, raised to a parent's Irish Catholic tradition. But, you know, they stopped practicing as a family, you know, when she was a young teenager and then lo and behold, and God's Providence, my mom met my dad at Thomas Aquinas College

on the west side of the state and their first day, I like to say it was playing basketball one

on one of my, my, they're both athletes, my, my dad was on the baseball team and my mom was on the basketball team. So they love playing sports and my dad was score keeping that, you know,

“one of the games and that's how they, they got to talk and, and so, you know, my mom had me,”

I think she's about 30, they got married and had me about when she was 30, my sister, my younger sister, Mackenzie when she was 32. But at that time in their life, they still hadn't began practicing regularly their faith. And it wasn't until thinking about sending my sister married grade schools when it started to kind of register with them like we got to, we got to maybe do something about this and, you know, pink, he's not too big of a town ahead, you know,

the public school, picnic public school or St. Mary's. And so, as very grateful, you know, when I look back, that, that, that pastor, Father Ken Cofflin said, oh, you guys are more than welcome to come to school, but, you know, have you got your kids baptized yet, you know, and that was the whole beginning of the faith journey was when they began to speak to him. Wow. And I recall, though, you said that they both like basketball and St. Mary's picnic, we used to play

them in school and they've always had a good basketball team. Yeah. And I don't know what is like

today, but they were always a big rival of us, you know, so did you play basketball when you were

“there? I did. I did, you know, I remember my mom was coaching. And so I was a gym rat, you know,”

I was there for a second, third, fourth grade before I could even be on the official team and then fifth grade is when I began to play and played up until a three, played through my high school years as well. Okay, so you play, okay, so now you've won, St. Mary's, it's a wait, wait, you're baptized, so how many were you when you were about? In 1997, it was Pentecost Sunday. John Paul II's birthday. St. John Paul II birthday, right? No, I, I loved it. This

my claim to fame, you know, height under his holiness, Pentecost. I was four and a half. I was going to be five that August. So people asked if I remember it, I wish I could be like the same treasure, the Child G's in Holyface where like she vividly recalls memories from two, three, four years old. I, I'm not that bright. I don't, I don't have that vivid of a memory. But I do have a picture of it that I keep in my daily prayer journal.

It's just a visual gratitude reminder that like my, in a special way, my, I'm walk to the, to the fathers came to begin that day. It became adopted, spiritually speaking. I had a seal on my soul marked forever. And spiritual twin is my sister. You know, they people joke about having Irish twins, you know, but my sister and I share the same baptismal birthday, you know, and so I, I don't like to. So that was all the sacraments of that time. So no, we, they witted out. So I was almost five.

So then second grade, first grade goes on, second grade goes on and regular preparation for first

confession. Okay. Second grade, my first Holy Communion, May 5th, 2001. And, you know, and then, you know, yeah, go through St. Mary's all the way up until 8th grade. Okay. We're going off to, uh, to Catholic Central. No. Why did you guys have, did you play basketball there?

that place is 90 guys in the freshman year. Right. You know, and I was scrawny, skinny,

“little guy and, you know, just trying to fit in. I, I always found sports as a mean to, you know,”

just fine friendships and be part of a group, um, you know, and in basketball was, I would say my real passion. I loved it. You know, more than football, um, you know, and perhaps I, you know, I look back at, I idolized a little bit too much. You know, it, uh, it's funny. Even in Catholic spheres, um, you know, where we can put other things or people on the throne, um, you know, and when I reflect back and, and look back into my own life, um, you know, with the light of the Holy

Spirit, I, I realized, you know, my emphasis was, you know, on things that, you know, you know,

weren't on God, ultimately. So let me ask you this in Catholic Central. I know when you walk in,

first thing you see there is the chapel. Yeah. Yeah. So that you, and then you've got that shield on the floor. Yeah, just go straight. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So how, how was that like, if you look back, having the bless a sacrament or like Jesus there in the present, you know, in their school or right there at the center? Yeah. Would you think that that there could have been any seeds, cultivated at that time, you may or may have not have known or just an awareness or, what do you

think about this? And this is where you like, the law of gradualness, um, because I'm humble and seeing this, like, you know, sister, I'd like to pray at hour every day in my priesthood, you know,

“and I do my best, my best to do that. But I can honestly say, um, you know, I didn't walk into that”

chapel on my own volition, my own will, a single time in those four years. Um, you know, I, I was hardened, you know, I think, you know, there's moments of suffering in all of our lives. Um, and I think a particular wound that I was carrying at that time, you know, my, my parents, you know, unfortunately divorced when I was going into seventh grade. Okay. And that really hardened me towards, um, God. You know, it's, it's, I, I, I, I say that I didn't consciously, but like,

in here in my heart, I, I kind of, I can't trust God and I can't trust my parents, um, and I just have to trust myself. You know, that's not a good place to be. Um, yeah, that's hard. I mean, I understand the same thing, but just when I was one year into religious life, my parents divorced, you know, and I, I totally understand what you mean by that pain and the suffering. I mean, it's hard to, it's often times they think, you know, as you get older, you're going to be

resilient or you can move through it, but it's like, everything just kind of, let's open for you, you know, and, um, at that time, I, I had to like lean in more, you know, to our Lord and to trust him. But I feel like even the fact that you're saying, you understand that that hardness, but that was a way to, um, protect yourself in a way. Yeah. Because that's a very important time in your life, and you had to, you know, grit through it, grit through it, stress through it is funny. And that,

that we'll get to that too, perhaps later in the story about a priest eventually coming at, like, the age, too, you know, 12 or 13, um, you know, and he, he shed light upon that reality, um, as well, um, you know, because, you know, you're going to an all-boy, all-male Catholic sphere, a good school, right? Like, you know, men, like, we're, you know, we, we, we, we, we like adventure,

“we like, uh, you know, identifying ourselves through the work that we do, what we achieve, right?”

I think that's just part of our challenges, men, you know, we shy away from, like, just being present, or who am I, really, right? But like, what have I done, whatever I cheat, how can I make myself known? And, and that's where, like, I think those ninth through 12th grade years I was really looking to do was to find an identity, um, and in the two ways that I, you know, more or less, in those years, found that was through academic achievement and, in my, in sports, playing sports,

playing basketball in particular. So I, I'd work hard, right? I, I, I, I studied, you know, my mindset, how much money am I spending to go to Catholic Central, you know, work, you know, you got to, she, oh, we're my discipline discipline discipline, you know, you got to work hard. So she instilled that in some, you, in the classroom, as well, on the court, um, and, you know, I was blessed to, you know,

the first two years, I, you know, it's more of a chance, come from Pinkney, going to Wixham,

35, 40 minute, can you say, that was not an easy, that was, you had to be dedicated and to do that

through South Lyon to just make it a slower ride. But, um, yeah, it was a challenge in a different way,

you know, but after two years, I felt much more, you know, within the community, you know, fellas were coming from, you know, all GC, Saint Mike's, all saints were like, they knew each other two, so trying to find that, that connection with other young men, you know, took time. You know,

“God was there. I was like, that's what he was working, even though you may not have walked in there.”

Yeah. As you're walking past, he's starting to till the soil of your heart. So you went there and then wherever's the next, where's the next step on the beauty of graduate. I went down to the

dark side. Oh, okay. Went down to Ohio. Oh, boy. Okay. I regret you're going to do 11. That place down.

Go to the Ohio United State University. Okay. Yeah. But I still went down to Ohio. You know, I went down to a small Lutheran liberal arts school called Wittenberg. You know, it's in Springfield, Ohio, technically, like 20, 25 minutes from Dayton. Okay. So South of South of, okay. Yeah. Good three, three enough hours, probably from here in Harbor. You know, I received a pretty helpful scholarship that, you know, made it like very reasonable, you know, to go there. My mom said,

you know, shameless. I paid for your high school, not paying for your college. So it's, you know,

I love it that now. I wasn't so happy going down to Ohio, you know, initially. But I look back

and it was, it got was leading me there. You know, it's a liberal arts education, right? So

“I remember that first semester, you had a sign up of, you had to for a religion class or for a”

philosophy class. And I said, oh, I'm definitely not taking the religion class. You know, you've done it. You said, I got it. I got it. I got it. Right. No, it all here at all. See it all. And I, I'm not taking a religion class. I'll take this philosophy class. Oh, God, he, it's sense of humor. You know, he knew, because it's going to get you know it. Get you to start thinking. Yeah, start thinking. Yeah. Do we have a soul? Do we live forever? Why is there evil in the world?

Why are there so many world religions? What is truth? You know, the soul question is what really for some reason, um, peak my interest, like do we live forever? Um, you know, I took a, you know, one class led to another. I thought I was going to be a study psychology and work in therapy in some way or another. But, you know, I'm just going to minor in philosophy. This about my sophomore year at this point. And but one, you know, the mystery of self and soul, you know, that the human

person really being a mystery. I can't even figure out my own self. You know, how can I figure out somebody else? You know, and is, is where philosophy just, it's, it's, it's fascinating. The one under and all that can come with it when approached, approached, humbly about truth. Um, and so I flip flopped from a psych major, um, in a philosophy minor to a philosophy major to a psych minor, um, you know, about my sophomore year. And, you know, at this time, sister, I got to be honest, I,

so I had those identities to lean on in high school, being a good athlete, being a good student, you know, the student part was still, you know, um, they're for me. And as a college student, but the, you know, I, I still, what's, what's my identity? Who am I? And, you know, I, I was falling into temptations, biting into the culture of what makes us happy, right? The carefree, lifestyle, um, you know, not treating women with dignity and respect, you know, going to parties,

and trying to find amusement, um, you know, and so that's like when I look at that, that was a part of my, my story that, you know, just, just thinking of college students now, right? Like just thinking

“there's nowhere else to go to find friendships, um, because deep down, that's what I was looking for,”

right, right, right, for friendship, right, looking for people to, to live with as looking for, um, joy. I was looking for God, ultimately, but, you know, it, I, I couldn't, the way I was navigating it was not, I didn't seem to be working, um, but the, you know, the, the kind of the pivot, and this, this was, uh, this was a, this was a pivot moment, um, my junior year, you know, you're starting getting closer to graduation. I didn't know what I was going to do with a

and, and all I knew is that I was miserable, to be, I was anxious, I was on fulfill, I was restless,

and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, and I was just, I was angry too. You throw that in the mix, that's a bad combo, that's a bad day.

“Right. Um, you know, and, uh, you're 21, and I remember, kind of having this thought like, well,”

everything I've done isn't working, so now I get to just try anything else. And, you know, I remember calling my mom, I just went to my, you know, this, um, you know, on campus, they had this guest speaker from Ireland saying, "Come and come to Ireland and study abroad for some Esther." And this was like, whoa, like my, there's something, like in my heart, my mind, say, like, yeah, go, go.

And this is out of my character, you know, I'm a man, like, discipline, like my, my regular rhythms,

the German side. The German side, right? So now, now that I recite and starting to call you, you know, I recite and try to call me from across the Atlantic, and my mom has the Irish heritage. So I remember calling her, I said, my, like, um, I think, uh, I think I should go to Ireland for some Esther. She jokingly, you know, Shamus, you just want to drink Guinness, don't you? I just said, "Mom, that's only half true." You know, I'm 21 anyways, you know, but, um, I joke, but she,

“she really sensed, like, I think you should do this, Shamus. And, and so it, like, within two months,”

I come from October, you know, to December, like, I was, I was going to Ireland. And I was just like, wow, how did this, you know, transcend. How is this happening? But God was, was moving. He was behind this, you know, this script, if you will, before leaving a very important, you know, event occurred, the priest, you know, that baptized me. Father, can, the priest that had absorbed my sins for the first time. Father, can, the priest that had given me Jesus and the

Eucharist for the first time, you know, the priest that saw me confirmed, you know, was this priest that sense, right? Like, I was away from the Lord, even not practicing the faith. I'd say for, like, four or five months, he reached out with my ma's, you know, guidance as well and, and gave me two things.

You know, he gave me a rosary, which I had never prayed on my own. I'd been around it.

Our family, we weren't the rosary, a day praying type of family, but I was around it. And then you saw he gave me that. He blessed it and a green one, nice Celtic one. And then he said, two, you got to go to our lady of knock. I never heard of her, sister, you know, the story, yeah. I don't know the story. I don't know of it, but I don't think I know the story. I do not machine. I'm a little embarrassed to say I don't know the story behind it. Well, it don't because it's like,

it's a quiet or known, right, and, you know, it's not as well known as Fatima Lourge, Arilay to Guadalupe. And so I don't feel as bad that I had no idea what he's talking about, you know, I'm just like, Arilay to you, you know, but I get over there, you know, in that January of 2014, and I'm, you know, living with with other Americans that are just in this exchange program more or less, and I remember meeting a couple of non-denominational Christians who really witnessed

to me, their faith. They, they read their Bible every day, they journal, they prayed, and when they went to the pubs, they weren't acting like fools. You know, they had a drink or two, and they handed themselves with class, Jordan Beaver, and Lina Gonzalez, I remember them both. And I was really, it was a witness for it. God was showing me something, you know, my mom would Skype me every week. Sheamus, have you been to knock? No. Sheamus, are you playing on going at mom?

“No. Sheamus, I really think you should go to knock. You know, I would just as like mom,”

stop asking, but her persistence, her annoyance, if you will, right? Like, is like, oh my goodness, like, for her sake, I gotta go. You gotta go, stop asking you the questions. She just stopped. Did you know that the sisters of Mary offer more than just this podcast? Our apostolate, called Openlight Media, offers a wide variety of resources for faith formation, virtue education, and catacusus development. One of the programs that we're really excited to

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at Openlight Media. You know, so it is 12 months in or 12 weeks in. You know, I was only there for

another couple weeks. You know, January February March, there's April, April 4th, 2014. I'll never

forget the day. It was a Friday in Lent and miracle life and got there. I mean, is the long bus ride I'd printed off the wrong timetables. It was for April not for March. You know, this cross over bus helped me. This, this other, the Irish people are great. I don't know if you've written that they're, no, I don't know. Friendly help you. Help you get to the bus station. If you won't make this cross over bus, I'll drive you there. It was just like, wow, thank you. But get to our lady

and knock. And, you know, I went some, I heard church bells. As soon as I got off the bus,

“and I was in mass, I thought it was a good sign. Go to mass. And I remember receiving Jesus in the”

Eucharist the way the priest presented the body of Christ. The man or even the speech in which he said it, the body of Christ, he fully believed that was the body of Christ. And I heard that. And I was convicted of that, convicted so much in the sense of like, really, I need to go to confession. And I need to confess my sin. And so I remember leaving mass that Friday afternoon, Friday evening, I'm looking at the time tables for confession and they had them 11 o'clock the next morning.

And, you know, I stayed in a little hostel with these sisters, you know, they're so friendly. You know, you know, little lady would help me out. I got to the priest at this thing. You know, you know, the Lord is close to you. You know, I'm like, who are, I, this town is so small. Rink and ink, little small village, really. You know, not much to it. I'm like, I have no idea why I'm here. You know, but I am. And I go to Massette Saturday morning before the 11 o'clock of confession,

I'll point my new. I had to get to. And I knew I wanted to go to for confession. That same priest, right, that said the body of Christ in a manner in which he fully believed it. So I weighed around. You know, I'd see him show up. There's two or three other priests hearing confessions. And I wait for this other priest. I waited to everybody else went because I knew I might take a while. And I'm so glad I did because, you know, that confession, I'd say I lost track of

time to be honest. Oh, it's probably about 20 30 minute confession. He was not in a rush. And we, I could tell you verbatim. But I'll just share as you mentioned earlier, you know, he, at the last question he asked me was, uh, Shamus, how was your early life? And I was 21.

You know, I was 12 when my parents had divorced, but that was never like,

you know, that wasn't something I talked about, right? Like, that wasn't something that I go to and share my heart with. You know, I was guarded. I was resilient. I was like, I'm a man, right? I, I can't share. What do you, so I really, when he first asked, did I just played it off? I said, thinking, like, I wasn't physically abused. You know, I wasn't sexually abused as a child. Like, my parents fed me. I had never went hungry for days. They provided me with education. I

closed, right? Like, like, what does he mean? I was my early life. I said, Father, I don't know what you want me to say exactly, I guess. I don't know. Was there any suffering, any trial that,

yeah, you know, he's just gently probing. And to the point of like, I finally, I finally just said,

I said, Father, I guess if there's one thing, you know, I, you know, I struggle when my parents divorced when I was 12. And then to add it on top of that, in my high school years, you know, I was so mad at my dad. I didn't speak to him for almost four years. From my freshman year of high school to my freshman year of college. And for me to share that at that time, my life was like,

“that's huge. I think God for the seal of confession, right? All right. But no, I really share it”

because, you know, same Paul Wright, he boasting in your weakness, boasting in your sufferings. And he says something I don't ever get. And you confirmed it, you know, it is from the Holy Spirit

And I think you've been a little too hard on yourself, a little too self-critical.

And, you know, for a penance, you know, I just want you to say three Hail Mary's, one for your mind, your body, and your soul. And I just remember, I was like, really, that's all you want me for, for, for, for do for penance, he's at, yes, that's all I want you to do for penance. And I remember leaving there with this, just sense of peace, right, washing over me. You know, I didn't see Jesus. He didn't, the clouds didn't open up from the high heavens. But there was within me a peace

that I knew I couldn't give to myself. Like, I had tried for many years, many years,

and now that is something else that's coming from someone else. And I was just kind of scratching my

“head, leaving that confessional, like, like, our lady, who, what is this plate? Like, where am I?”

You know, she's knocking, knocking on your heart, knocking, knocking on your heart, right? Yes, so I, I loved it. So I went into the museum after, you know, this with this peace. Our lady, yeah, our lady, not like August 21st, 1879, right? She appears to 14 or 15 witnesses from the age of 75, all the way to five, you know, to the Irish. On a Thursday evening in August, rainy, of course, and in a small village town, and, you know, they all very clearly see her.

All, as well as St. John, the beloved, and St. Joseph, her spouse, and not too far, and the

distance is an altar with a lamb. And, you know, she really appeared with her family when

“her spiritual son, whom Jesus entrusted with, beloved in her spouse, St. Joseph, and then her son,”

Jesus, and they, the scholars and the theologians marvel, you know, as to why married and say anything, right? It's a silent apparition. She's just pointing at the, the, the, the Eucharistic table, the lamb signifying the body of Christ. And, someone say, well, we know the answer. The Irish people would have just argued with her. They would have just told her, we don't know if you know that to bless me, you know, the Irish love language to, to

banter and to to wrestle and speech, right? Like, you just can't meet an Irish man without at least a little argument, right? But, so she, she went speechless. She, she went just pointing to Jesus, the healer of body and soul, the healer of families, you know, feeding us with his body and his blood. You know, this is just after the potato famine in 30s and 40s, people are physically starving, and her point in our lady, our mother reminding us that, like, yes, that, but we're spiritually

starving too, you know, sickness on. So I'm struck by that because it's like, you think if you want to think about it, our lady of knock, but also like knock, you know, that what, what drew you to that priest was the way in which he said body of Christ. Yeah. So she's in the background, I mean, it's like she almost had her, her hand on you, like in the background, pointing you, like to this priest, and then you felt this call to confession, and then to the same priest, you know,

who the way in which he said body of Christ, and then giving you three healaries, which is like, how beautiful is that, you know, and that just, it's just like she's has her, like, our lady has her, she's, she's been guiding you all along and, and holding you without you even probably knowing it. I know. I know. And you think about, I'm going back, I'm sorry, to call the central, but you, you know, you guys are the sham rocks, right? So that's even

that other same little Irish connection with the Trinity, and yes, all those areas. Yeah, there's a game-winning basketball shot that I had, and, you know, the tradition to sing Mary Alma Mater was

“always done at the football games. Okay. Every single one. And, you know, I remember it is my,”

you know, senior year against Orchard Lake St. Mary's, as blessed to have a game-winning shot, over Alan Robinson, who's a phenomenal athlete, you know, eventually played NFL football, you know, a great receiver, and, but we, we sang the Mary Alma Mater after that game. And, you know,

but I'm an introvert, I'd say, by nature, and I was so, I don't want the attention. So I

“was already in the locker room. I, I didn't even know, you know, I ran back into the locker room”

with a few couple teammates, and, and, but we, they're singing this song, Mary Alma Mater,

Mary, our sweet mother, right? And she was, she's always been there in the background.

Yes. I'm pointing me, leading me, caring for me, you know, in a very real way, but like the Lord, she's gentle, she's not going to force her into your life. That's quite pointing. Okay, so then, you're drawn. So at some point, this must have been what kind of opens, the knocking, knocking opens the heart. I even, at the very last thing I did in knock, was there's a, um, pre-intention board. And I knew it would be in three miles away from home,

and writing an anonymous letter that nobody, and nobody was ever going to read this, and no, it was for me. So that's when I wrote an intention about discerning my vocation. Okay, you know, like thinking, like, there is something that happened between that Eucharist and that confession about like, am I called to that, right? Like, um, it's kind of like, I put it like this, like, father can give me all those sacraments to the young, I was attracted to him, right,

like to his joy of his priesthood. It would always make me have a second glance, but I just don't

know if I had ever thought, like, me, though. I'd never made that, like, to me, to do that for others. And I'd say it was in until I was 21 at that moment, I'm like, okay, like, I, I can't deny that, right? Like, if I tried to deny it, it'd be like denying my hand is right here, right? If something's so real. Um, and so I wrote that intention, um, you know, I, I got back into my senior year of college, you know, I was in a relationship with the young woman too, so that that complicates

discerning. Right, a little bit. Yeah. You know, you're just like pushing that to the side and all Lord, um, wanting what you want, I was going to get my degree that that May of 2015, which I did, but the, I couldn't deny that the Lord is persistent. He's gentle, but persistent. Yeah.

“Um, he kept knocking. He kept, like, inviting. So there's just no peace, right? Like, right?”

There's no peace in the relationship. Um, so that's when I finally, um, I broke off the relationship, um, and began talking to the vocation director that spring of my, my senior of college, and, uh, and then in the summers when he told me, you know, it'd be a little, I was too late to go into seminar right away. So they had me live with the priest, you know, the same priest that father can that's him. Oh, how wonderful. I live with him for a year to begin my discerning. Okay.

Yeah. But working at Tropical Smoothie. I don't know. In picnic, was he still a thing at the time? Clio, Michigan. Okay. North of Flint, 10 miles north of Flint. Okay. Yeah. As a sign with him at St. Charles and Helena. It's right off 75 there. And then you got the Tropical Smoothie on the, on the west side. Okay. So then after that year, did you, um, did you go to Sacred Heart? Oh, what did you, so then I began to get in a regular prayer. I made a marrying

consecration, um, you know, that August 15th, okay. 2014 and then renewed it August 15th, 2015, using Father Mike Gatley's 33 days of glory. Okay. That was huge for me. Right. Because like you said, Mary had been in the background. But now reading that book, I had a little knowledge of that explained to me what she was doing. She's leading me to the Lord, leading me to the sacraments, leading in my vocation. So that just, I mean, talk about spiritual consolation. You know,

“I remember that, like that was just like, wow, cloud, cloud nine, right? Like the delight of being”

in spiritual consolation. And especially with, it's like it's such a first time, you know, you're, you're coming in from a desert, from a big journey, and you're just being dosed with grace. And so, you know, that was the beginning of my time with Father Ken, and then I began to discern

as like, I never even thought about religious life. So, um, I actually made a visit with the

Mary and Father, so they magically conceptual. Okay. Um, felt so much peace about that. Um, discerned, you know, after retreat, my first retreat, simple three, four-day retreat. Um, that's it. The Lord wants me to go. Um, so I'm going to go. So I was a, I was a postulent, a year novice with the Mary and Father, and then one year of temporary vows. Okay. Um, but that formation must have really been, I mean, you can't, you can't change that. I mean, have us to been such a, once you

get that pattern down, when you, so now it's probably just a part of your DNA, you know, is as you go

those fathers and brothers are great. You know, they, uh, um, right. I love their, their ministry,

“their devotion to Mary, you know, if it's so well, I was very, it was hard to me to wrestle with”

the Lord a little bit like why he wanted me to leave. Um, when the community was so great, but, you know, it's like kind of like the being a runner, like, you know, they tell you to go, when you go into a running store, you don't think about the brand, you don't think about the price of the shoe. You put it on with your eyes closed and you feel the shoe. Right. And it was like, yeah, it's just, it was a little tight, little snug of a shoe. Um, not by much, but like, you know,

is discernment progresses, you can, the little notches, right? Um, God can begin speaking more subtly.

And my heart was just moved at a, at a, at a parish that is setting like that. That's wonderful.

And so, that's when I reach back out to the vocation director, Father John Linden at the time,

“and, uh, and then would have began that August of 2018. That's a very hard major seminar. Okay.”

So then you had, um, you had the philosophy and the theology and all that. So, um, what year were you, when were you ordained? Yes, I was, yeah, it's those seminary years, those desert years. That's going to say, redest one you need of the resilience. Yeah, I afforded to it and all the virtues that go. Yeah. And the, the, the discernment that retreats, you know, we had a 30 day retreat. That was really blessed. Um, you know, and, and that's when I, I'd say, like, when I tell

young men, share about, in their vocation years, the discernment years, that 30 day retreat was really like the, the moral certitude that I felt called to be a priest as 27. Seeing my friends being married, starting to have family and kids have beautiful, wonderful that is. But my heart still being, you know, moved to, to be a priest, um, so theology 2, 3, 4, June 10th, um, 2023, as our day in the priest, very grateful. Yeah. Oh, that's so wonderful. And then you've been here in, at Arbor, at, uh,

same for instance. Yes, yes, same for instance, C.C. Paris, you know, that, um, I want to, you know, the best day in my life. I mean, other mean born. Yeah. Right. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I got it. It, uh, um, being, you know, on that floor, laying down my life in a physical gesture, um, you know, and then being, you know, lift it up and, and then, uh, Bishop lays your hands on your head and he says the constrictory prayer. And then the priest, you two do your priest to me, my spiritual director and

then Father can, right? I remember him placing Father can placing the stole over my shoulders, um, and I just received the gift of tears, right? Oh, right? Like, um, I mean, it was something like, you know, again, baptism, confession. First, you could see me confirm, you know, placing the stole the priestly stole on my shoulders as like, you know, the Lord, my yoke is easy in my burden as light, um, the washing of that piece, um, and then the love, really, that the love of God. Like,

location is a gift, pure gift, um, you know, and I was just so, um, moved, um, with God that day.

“I was so grateful, um, you know, and that's why I'm grateful anytime to testify, um, to share the”

good works of God in our life, right? It's a, it's a, it's a time and opportunity to, um, to recall,

to ponder. Like, our lady always ponder in me says heart, um, you know, and I, uh, very, very grateful

for that day, very grateful. The Holy Spirit moving me to, um, Saint Francis of a CC, parish and in Ann Arbor, um, got a wonderful school there, Pastor Father James, very grateful. Yeah. So, as you're talking, I'm, I'm thinking about Father Ken, you know, what a wonderful, you know, Father's spiritual father, you know, he's been, been to you, you know, and that, that, you know, and you think about, I mean, this is my experience to, you know, when, um, and you

of course, our relationships with our parents over time after that, they divorce, you know, there's the healing and all that over time that takes place, but we still need people that are going to help nurture that spiritual part. And, but then I, I keep noticing on your wrist, um, your consecration to Mary. So, if you could just share here just at the end just what your consecration, your love. I mean, I, I keep kind of, I'm also, I'm kind of seeing in my mind,

when you're talking about it, even with our lady of knock, it's almost as if she's been in the background just pointing you to her son all along the way, you know? Yeah, you know, and St.

you know, he makes it clear, the end is God, the aim is God. Yes, um, you are giving yourself

“to him, your body, your soul, your possessions, your interior and exterior goods, everything,”

your whole self, your whole heart. And when we humbly recognize how hard that is, you know, that's a good place to be, and to do any, to ask anyone, to help us and do that. Like, there's no better person to ask than Mary, right? You know, the mother of God, the one who did consecrate herself perfectly to his divine will at all times, through the gift and the grace of her immaculate conception. You know, every member reading that, it's a lot, it's dense a little bit.

You know, Father Mike Gaitley opened up a little bit more with 33 days to morning glory.

And his birthday, you were baptized on the jump all the second talked about how he had to read

“it twice. Remember, yes, so it's never, you've ever tried to read to a devotion and you've had”

struggle, don't worry, you're in the good, good, it's a struggle club, it's good. Right, and keep going, given a second try, a third try, you know, because it's so rich, I, you know, what does Mary do in her spiritual life? I mean, there's so many, I love speaking of her about her, just because I know how much she's, she's helped me. But she, what I say, she tunes our ear to hear the voice of the Lord, right? She removes obstacles that we struggle with.

She, she clears our vision, right? She's a windshield wipers, right? Like, she's just a servant. She's a humble, humble, humble hand-made doing anything for us to help us see and to hear the Lord. And it's, it's a mystery, like how God chose to use, is the immaculate mother to do this. But,

you know, with that consecration, you know, I, I took it, it's serious as good as the first time,

but like, what I love about is I renew it every day. First thing I upon rising, I get on my knees and I make my act of consecration prayer, it's really an essence, a promise to try our best to live out our baptism of art, right? Just to avoid and reject evil and to choose good to choose God. And again, when we're humble enough to like, not like, that's hard every day, every moment of every day, the just man falls seven times a day, you know? And so she, she teaches us humility.

“She teaches us to rid ourselves of self-reliance, I think, and to totally depend on God at all times,”

I still have so much to learn in that, like, I still try to pick myself up for my own bootstraps, you know, work harder, sort of speak. Thank you. Thank you so much, Father. And I appreciate you coming and I'm certain that anyone who's watching or listening, there's no way you couldn't be moved and to know that this is how, you know, the beauty of graduates, this, even even the fact that, you know, he may have spent those years in high school walking past

the chapel, there was the knocking, you know, this is our, this knocking, our lady of knock. And God is continually looking for us because He loves us and to bring us back and to relationship with Him. So thanks again, Father, and thank you for listening, and God bless you all, and we'll see you next time.