Giggling about cigars, cabaret, and compression socks

[MUSIC PLAYING] I'm Frank. Nine. Frank. [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] Such a good room. Here, fix your Wi-Fi.

Man, if that's true, we can't be managed.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my giggly source Rex is, let me just say, I was like, Paige, can we get the party started?

I need to complain about something. And she goes, I have to complain about you. With her long-ass finger, she goes, yo. So now I'm scared alone. No one's on my side.

What did I do? What did I do besides pull out my own back? I'm going to tell you exactly what you did.

“On the pod last week, you said, oh, do you ever dream about hexes?”

And I was like, I haven't dreamt about an X in 10 to 15 years. Like, it's just not something that happens to me.

I woke up this morning cursing.

I laid in bed, I go that fucking bitch. Not only did I dream about the worst X I've ever had in my life, he came up to me with a knife. And if you don't kiss me, if you don't stop, I'll kill you. Oh, stop what?

Who knows? We don't know. Hopefully it's not one of those dreams that's like a Marvel movie where there's a new one every night. And it continues the plot.

Maybe we'll see what happens. Well, you want to know what's crazy is the only reason I got out of the dream was something in real life woke me up. Kitty saved you. Like a sound woke me up.

And I was like, oh my god, I was just having the weirdest dream.

And then I didn't go back into it.

Thank God. Why do I feel like it's worse when you dream good things about them? Like you're like, oh my god, you just hurt her effect.

“And then you have to spend all day remembering all the worst memories.”

And then you're like, I could have done without that. No, I definitely went throughout my day today. Like, yeah, he is a sociopath. (laughs) In every well realm he's fucking crazy in every realm.

He's rooting my life. Also, I do look like Angelia and Joly's cousin who is just not want to be a spy, but like can't. 'Cause she just like can't get her stuff together. But she keeps trying out.

You know what's crazy is? I didn't even notice you were in sunglasses. Because you see me as pure energy. Yeah, I'm just like, that is what ever hurt journey is today. You see me by my aura colors.

You don't, you don't process actual things. You see, I'm not on a good mood. Okay. Mm-hmm. And my PMS and yes, but that's not it.

That's not the reason.

“Well, that's the right that the reason was.”

Look, as you guys know, I pulled out my back. But like somehow it's getting worse. Like, did people know that? Did you say that last? Well, I made fun of these old nine playing tennis with me.

And then I pulled my back, playing tennis, old men. And I do have an L4 L5 situation. I was like, situation, a little bold disc. If any of the good girls are around you. And it was bad.

And I got a, I got a massage yesterday. And it was going well. And then the lady like pushed my knee towards my chest, like as a stretch. And I saw God.

Yeah. But like, or Satan, one of them, and then I, they left. And I told Des, I'm like, I can't find a position that I'm not like shooting pain. Wait, like, the massage, like, fucked you up more?

Yeah. Oh, hand, like, she pinched in her. She pinched in her, like, more. And then I drug myself. Yeah.

And I was, I slept all yesterday. It was so peaceful, like, I highly recommend it. And then this morning, I got a chiropractor appointment. Mid does walk half an hour with me to the chiropractor, 'cause I'm not going to Dr. Spurman alone.

You're too scary. We walked, we'll close off you. We did not, that was good for your back. But I, I was like, loving. Yeah.

But like, I like, like, the drama.

and be like, wait, I'm coming, wait.

Also because he always has a physical ailment.

And you're probably used to that. So now you're like, roles reverse. Roar reverse? Yeah. We get there, places close, perfect.

'Cause it is Labor Day. And I'm like, then why did they let me book and appointment? And he's like, who did you talk to on the phone? I go, let the boy you want him to go.

I don't talk to people on phones. I get books in online. I book to online, I clicked appointment on this day. They shouldn't have let me fucking click it. So then I didn't get a chiropractor.

I'm still in pain. And I'm alone and scared.

“Oh, that's why you were like, I'm ready to record the pod.”

So you never even went to your appointment. Well, you went and did, but you didn't have it. Also then I'm realizing if I want to see like a real doctor, you don't just go see a real doctor. You have to go to another doctor to get referred

to a real doctor. It seems like a fucking pyramid scheme to me. And have you ever tried to log into one of these doctor sites? It's their, they're made up. They're, it's insane.

Like, if someone approaches me and says the word portal, 'cause everyone's like, do you have the portal? Have you downloaded the portal? I'm like, shut your pitch ass up. Whenever I hear portal, I'm like, I'll kill you.

Why are all the portal so different? None of them work. Can we just have a universal portal? That is for medical reasons. Like, you know when you applied to college?

And like, I think it was like, when we got to college or when we got into high school, it was like one app. Remember it was called like the common app. And it was like the same way you applied and like multiple schools would take that application.

Like, come on. Just make it normal.

“'Cause the biggest issue is you have to come up”

with a new username and password for all these sites. And they all have different extents of like, what kind of password? What password said 14 letters? I said 14 letters, no word is 14 letters.

What do you think about 14 letters? And then I'm not, I'm past the point. I just, no, I'm so upset. And then Des was like, okay, well, if it's, is it an online chiropractor appointment today?

And then like, let me check the portal. And then it's like, can you log into the portal

and like, no, can't log into, I'll never know.

And then it's like, can't remember your password so you make a new password. And then they're like, can't be the old password. So I have like 400 passwords in 400 portals and my back still hurts.

Actually, this is added to my back pain. The only thing I know about back pain because during COVID Gary through his back out, like, show bad he was like bedridden. He almost like one crazy.

Yeah. And the number one thing that he did that he thinks fucked him up even more was like putting heat on it.

“Like that you should really be putting cold, not heat.”

Okay, that's good to know. That like a hot pack will make it more inflamed where cold will like shrink it. I was talking to Des about our friendship and I was like--

I didn't know I was there years and des is. Good question. (laughing) I'm like, let's talk about us in my restaurant. I'm in my restaurant.

No, but we're talking about Gigi Squad and I was like the page. 'Cause sometimes he likes checking in with like, where your heads at with stuff. Oh, it's a slippery slope.

But you know, and I go pee just doing well. And I'm like, you know, she wants to do Gigi Squad forever. Yeah. And he was like, really, I'm like, no, no. She jokes all the time about like,

what else we're gonna do? Who would I talk to about stuff going on in my life? And I was like, we're literally gonna be like, welcome to Gigi Squad this episode sponsored by ARP. Yes.

Because I had to have you. And I'm like, she has a new line of dentures coming out. Like, we've planned, we have the future set. Like, don't worry about us. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit

that like, through different phases in our lives. And granted, we've only had this podcast for five, six years. So like, six years, I feel like, there's not that much different. You're be surprised.

But I feel like we do talk about things. Like, a perfect example is nipple hair. Who's out here talking about real stuff? You think we're changing the game? No, I'm just saying like, the day that we become mothers

or like mothers of teenagers or like business women that do, like, the girls will relate. We're growing together. Yeah, we need to continue speaking our truth through all the stages.

Does told me something crazy. And I'm sorry for bringing him up twice as episodes of ARP. But he said something crazy to me because he told me he was like,

your grades are showing. And I'm like, you don't have to tell me that. Like, I know. I just like, I don't look at them. So you don't have to point him out.

Anyway. And he was like, I can't wait for you to be like all gray. But he didn't mean it in like a romantic way. He meant it like a stylish way. Like he was like, it's gonna look good when you're like all gray.

And I was like, hey, I'm never.

I'm really upset by that.

Because I was like, I don't care. Like I'll fucking grow up.

My grades. I don't give a fuck. And he's like, I know you're gonna look so good gray. Hannah, no, I'm not allowing it. Okay, well, I'm glad you. Is he the ray gun husband?

I'm glad you too had that romantic moment. Get it the fuck out of both of your heads. It's not happening. Have you like, okay, Reba McIntyre, Redhead, until older, you were going to be an older lady

who is a redhead. You're a Lucille Ball, like enough. You're not going gray. Well, no, I need to because you don't want me to. You know who I saw on a plane recently,

who is actually fully gray and she does look good. When I was leaving Italy, a giggler came up to me and we were like chatting and she was like, don't look now, but Jane Fondas over there. Oh, I would have puked.

I literally, I don't.

And I've seen multiple celebrities in airports and on planes.

I don't think I whipped out my phone faster than to text my mom like Jane Fondas on my plane. Listen to this, we get on the plane. We sit down, Josephine texts me. Guess who I'm sitting next to.

I go, if you say Jane Fondas, I'm gonna freak out. Josephine Fondas, Josephine doesn't deserve that. I'm sorry, Josephine doesn't deserve it. She doesn't even know. She doesn't even, like, she can't know.

Are you ready for this? She's 12 years old. Josephine texts her, who did she text? She texts her, like her boyfriend who's like aunt is friends with Jane Fondas.

I take back what I said. The aunt texts Jane Fondas and goes, you're sitting next to, like, my nephew's girlfriend, Josephine. Jane Fondas turns to Josephine and goes, are you Josephine?

And she goes, yes, Jane Fondas. Jane Fondas a fan of Josephine. This is huge.

“Jane Fondas is a, which, honestly, when you meet Josephine,”

you can't not be a fan of Josephine. She's like, I love your work, your photos, that you take a page in Venice, where I connect. She was, like, you're so pretty and so lovely. And then, and then Jane Fondas watched the movies

that Josephine was playing on her TV, the whole flight home. - Is Jane Fondas a good girl? - No, they didn't get my phone. (laughing) - Well, Jane Fondas, if you watch it documentary,

like, not only she's an actor, but then she also, like, created the best, like, workout series ever, right? - Mm-hmm. - And then, like, a big activist.

- She's really feeling threatened. - That is. - Why is philanthropic so hard to say? Is it 'cause, like, our enemies are out together, so I would try to help people.

- philanthropic is, like, one of those words that when you throw it around, it's, like, people respect you. Yeah. Wait, but what's the difference between philanthropic

and then, like, Philharmonic? They're too close.

“Remember, we had a whole bit about the Philharmonic Symphony?”

- Who was, like, you know, we should do Philharmonic would change it slightly, and then it's a lot of donating to charities. - Wasn't it the story, like, a girl had an orgasm at the Philharmonic, and then, oh my God, yeah.

- What did throw back? Oh my God. Well, Philharmonic, I don't know, some Latin thing in there. - One thing before we move on from my

that flight to Italy. There's something I've been doing on long flights, and I'm not kidding, it's changing my life, and this is, like, some real AARP shit. Now, any flight over, really, I've been doing it on every flight,

but specifically, ones that are, like, over two and a half hours, I've been wearing compression socks. - You're not, like, life changing. - You're changing again. - Here's the other thing I've been doing.

I haven't been eating on flights anymore. Because my stomach gets so insanely fucked up when I get off the flight, for, like, the next 24 hours, it's, like, bloated. So, I've been doing both of those things,

and when I get off the plane, I don't feel as, like, swollen and just, like, gross. - See, I don't have the kind of self-control to be on a long flight that offers you a meal, and to look in that lady's eye and be like,

"No, I won't take." - I know, it's really hard, I know, it's really hard. - I once was having, like, a full stomach bug, and I was, like, don't risk it being on a plane, and I was like, "I can't say no to a free meal."

- You wanna know what I've been doing though, I've just been going a little bit earlier and getting so full at the lounge, or like, in the airport, like, in Italy. Like, I just ate before, and then I was fine.

- If you wanna nap, it's good to eat beforehand and then pass out, yeah, so that's really been helping me. But I'm like, "Oh my God, how old am I "that I'm putting on compression socks?" I was like, "I literally put them on."

And I was like, "I must add these to the newslighter." - You know, I thought about it.

“Actually, I think I bought compression socks.”

- That's a good thing to me and you. - Okay, Hannah, so I need to talk about something that's genuinely, and I mean, genuinely changed the quality of my life. Let me guess, is it a new serum or like a hair mask?

- Truly, amazing guesses.

It's actually WAMO. If I don't see a man, I just get into a WAMO.

- Time for a PSA, on WAMO. - It's about time. - Raise your hand if you've ever had a bad experience in a car service situation. - I could write a book.

I have gotten out of them, I pull over.

“- That's why WAMO gives us peace and calmness”

after a long night to take me home safely. - And I don't have to check a box if I wanna talk or not, it doesn't exist.

- We're never talking, we don't wanna talk.

- A life hack at the end of the night when you're exhausted, tired and scared, 'cause it's dark out. - Yeah. - Is to get a way mode to take you home safely.

- It is a really good life hack because it actually eliminates so many different things you worry about. So it's actually like at the top of my life hack list, along with like all the things I bring to a hotel room.

- When you get into ride chairs, you're normally so stressed. Our biggest life hack is dealing with WAMO over random strangers in cars. I mean, at that point, I'd rather get my own driver's license

and figure it out. - And that's a scary thought. But we also love to decenter men and WAMO kind of does it for us because we don't have a driver.

So we don't even have to go into the logistics of it.

- When you're with a driver,

there's a mental checklist, like are they going the right way? Are they taking me somewhere and I wanna go? How is their energy? Are they getting road rage? In a way Moe, I can just close my eyes,

take a nap, and not be bothered. - And that's the best feeling because I do want to fall asleep maybe. When I'm on my way to my destination, but in other ride chairs, I have to stay alert.

(laughing) I have to make sure the windows are unlocked. I have to be putting them down every three seconds. Like, what about to get out?

“- You have to put your friend on the phone”

being like, do you know where I am? - Yeah, I'm to tell him that my location is shared with someone else. Just so he knows. - So if you want to be unbothered and relaxed,

and you live in a city with Waymo's, download the Waymo app and ride. And if you live in a non-Waymo city, sign up to help ring Waymo to your city at Waymo.com/updates. - This is us being women and STEM,

bringing Waymo to the women and keeping them safe. - Thanks to Waymo for supporting this segment. - Also, I'm in bad mood because I have a sniffles, which means I keep sneezing, which is like the one thing that really hurts my back.

So I've been just sneezing and cursing and laughing. Like, you are your grandpa. - Yeah, I'm my grandpa. Also, it sounds like I'm going through an exorcism every time I sneeze.

I'm like, do you think you have allergies?

- I never thought I had allergies, yeah.

But I would love to say I have allergies. - One time I told my mom, I thought I had allergies and she 100% dead ass looked me in my face and goes, "To sorbo's, don't have allergies, no you don't."

- I was like, okay, it was like the weirdest flex. I just say that allergies are all in people's heads. - It's like weak genes. - Yeah, as if we are a stronger family than like another family of allergies.

- Wait, I'm so sorry, but my phone is blowing up and do you know who's calling me? - Who? - I don't know one of the 400 medical portals that I put all my information into.

Also, I have like a Pilates class in Vancouver that I took a year ago that calls me every day. - I have like a gym from Albany that I belong to in college that straight up texts me all the time.

- Also, if you cancel a doctor's appointment, they're like, okay, and then they continue to call you every day, yeah. But they won't answer you when you're trying to make an appointment.

But then they'll bother you for the rest of your life. - The medical field is crazy. - The medical field is really like I feel for the girls because I'm sure there's a lot of frustration happening. - Let's discuss, are you going to the US open tonight?

- I don't know.

“- It is a lot, and by a lot, you have to put an outfit together.”

- Yeah, but I'm not stressed because I ordered this navy blue skirt that I didn't think was gonna come until like a couple of weeks, but it's here now. So it's like, it could just by my new navy blue skirt, so I'm not stressed about it.

- Sure. - But also, I am still very jet lagged. - Yeah. - Something's going on. My body's just being really sensitive. This past couple of weeks, I don't know what's going on with me.

And Scorpios are in having a great go of it. - Astrologically. - What did it say? - We've just been having issues. And you wanna know what, remember when I got my astrology red?

And he was like, are you having the worst year of your life? And I was like, no, well, it's in the back of my head because Scorpios are having like a really tough time. We had a tough time this summer, and we're having a tough time this fall.

Maybe it's just in your gut. 'Cause like, I feel like everything else is going well. Maybe you did a little witchcraft, and you put all your pain on to me. - I don't think, I, you know.

Sometimes I'll see things on TikTok so it's like actual girls doing spells. And I'm like, okay, you guys are crazy, but I'll stay a little too long. I've ever seen a candle cord cutting.

- So I'm like, I'm talking about the Putzumans name

in their fridge, Nicole Kidman. She puts their name in their fridge to like ice them out. To be like, you're not part of my life anymore. - That gives me like a little bit of voodoo, and I believe in God, so like, I can't.

I'm not even like going down that route, you know? - God was not happy with your angel visit. - Yeah, but it's like he creates those people, so I'm like, you can't really be mad. You gave them that, those powers.

- 100%. - I do need to see a psychic, I feel like. - Are you do? - Yeah, I haven't seen the psychic medium in a while. - Okay, I actually, I might have a new girl,

but I feel like I haven't gotten like a year. - I have to speak about the open, what? - That what I want to ask you that, something. - Well, everyone's coming for influencers.

- Yeah, I wanted to see what your take was. - Okay, my take was that it was one video. - Yeah. - One video of these influencers that spoke when they're not supposed to speak.

They're really singing something. And, okay, this is not like a real issue. I've watched every single match at the U.S. open. No matches are like struggling. There's more fans than ever.

Also, a guy was smoking weed during Sabolinka's match. No one's talking about that, I saw that. No one's like about that, that's crazy.

“So I think they're making it worse than it is.”

I do think if people want to know, like with tennis, you're not supposed to talk during the point, you clap after the point, and they're supposed to be pretty quiet during the point. But I do think the influencer's story is very clickbaity,

but it's like gone crazy. Everyone's talking about it and I'm telling you, if it's a thing, it'll be happening every match. This was one match in particular, but I also do have a saucepot for like new female fans

that I don't want to be afraid to go to tennis. Whenever there's new fans in anything,

they, it takes a second to like understand it.

Yeah. But I feel like the smoking weed thing was fucking crazy. - I feel like that's so disrespectful. As someone who thinks that weed should be legal, because I think it's, look, I think alcohol's way worse.

I think there are certain, you wouldn't light up a cigarette in the middle of acidity. - This is a pity. - Why would you ever light up a joint at the, I think that's so gross.

- Also, you guys know me and my mom, we hate cigarettes. We'll be walking on the street if someone's smoking a cigarette, my mom will go. - It's really, it really is kind of crazy

how like back they are. It makes me so upset. I do every influence of posting smoking cigarettes. Why are you doing it? Like, what's the reason why?

'Cause you want a young person that is influenced by you to be influenced to kill themselves? - I feel like Instagram is almost leaning a little bit more like tumbler days. - Okay.

“- And I think there's a certain age group that's like,”

but it's kind of like, it's very early 90s. It's like it's just in our hand. - This really makes me upset. - Oh my, no, no, no, no, no. - No, the other day I saw a 13 year old girl

like on TV and full makeup and I got really upset by it. I was really upset. - I wanna know your thoughts. Okay, does and I went to a like Cabaret Burlesque show.

- Were you out on Saturday night? No, I don't. - Because I look at your location. I go, this is not where her apartment is. Where is she?

- I went out. I was wearing like a like crazy top and Caprize. - You know what's crazy? We went from not having each other's locations a couple months ago to now straight up stalk it.

I landed, I think guys, I landed in America. Like my phone gets Wi-Fi.

My first text is Hannah, welcome back.

- No, okay, I swear you got, I actually wasn't stalking you. I went to text you, which is like every 10 minutes and it said queen. So I was like, hello, welcome back.

- I was in Italy. I literally walking into walking into Gucci. My brother calls me. - I go, do you have a goddamn trap? - I was texting you on the plane and I was like,

you're right above Dublin right now. (laughing) - And it was wow, you're in Ireland. I'm like, so we go this Perlesque Show, first of all. - How did you think?

How was that your idea for a date? Like who came up with the idea? - Okay, so to be. - I wanted to go to this restaurant. - Mm-hmm.

- And then the restaurant was like, at this restaurant, there's a Perlesque Show and I'm like, we can't eat or not go to the Perlesque Show. - Yeah. - And then I was like, I don't wanna do anything on Saturday night,

but I'll watch other people do shit on Saturday night. So, and he was like down. I think 'cause the comedy world, he actually would do a lot of festivals, so he became friends with the circus people,

kind of the people that do like Cirque du Soleil and like they do all this crazy shit. So he, I don't know, he's like, no, what up? - That's not all about that.

“- He just looks like, like, if you remember when,”

(laughing) - Isn't it crazy to think of like, insults from like back in the day? Like an insult used to be go drawing like the carnival. Like, oh, she joined like this circus.

- So the circus is actually like really hot people

and they're super flexible. Like a put like fire down their throat, but also like, I can imagine they're all just like having crazy sex. - You're not that flexible and not having three songs.

Like, that's like me getting mad when hot people learn in relationships. If you're that flexible and you're not, you have lady polyamorous. (laughing)

- If I could put my leg bar in my head, I'd have three boyfriends.

“- It's like you have to do more for the beef ball.”

- Yeah, like you can't just leave it to one guy. - Share your talents. (laughing)

- Also why would they always talk about how the girls

have to be flexible? Why can't the guys be flexible? - Yeah. - I know guys. - I'm sure they are, yeah.

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You know, Square's niche was... I have a mobile phone connection. Your whole business has been hacked. Me! [LAUGHTER]

I'm not a fan of you! Not my business! [LAUGHTER] Just a little bit of a dream. With mobile phones in real life,

Frank, a mobile phone for 10 Euro in Monat. Inclusive EU roaming. Also in Switzerland. [LAUGHTER] Frank!

No. Frank! Staying at a place where you can get used to the car. It's for the green, it's for the green. It's a place where you can get used to the automatic protection.

You have the latest mobile phone in the back. With every kilometer, you can get used to it. A rich, expensive, expensive, expensive, and expensive vehicles. You can't wait until you get used to it or get used to it. You can get used to it when you get used to it.

The automatic protection of my car is for automatic treatment. And you can get used to it. [MUSIC PLAYING] I become a sleazy man when I'm there. Because the sex one player comes up on my take off your shirt.

Why is this guy shirt on? I didn't pay to watch a guy with my jeans zipped up to the neck. Take your fucking shirt out. This is like calm down. And I'm like, "Yo, this is like it's not a strip car.

It's a classy, burlesque." But eventually he took a shirt off. I look at does it like, thank you. And then the girls, you can't help. They're all wearing like thongs.

And they're dancing and they're all over the place. Yeah.

“The only thing I kept thinking about was like, how do they shave so well?”

Yeah. Not one hair out of place. My thing is, are they taping or doing some type of like stickyness of tick? For the thong to keep their vagina in. Because like, okay, if you're wearing a thong and you're moving all crazy,

at some point the thong is gonna move a little and you're just lay be out. So they must, they have to tape it down or something. And they're changing outfits, like it's crazy.

Yeah. They're just pure athletes. These girls are amazing. Also the singer. I was just gonna say, are they singing?

So there's one girl who sings and she like hosts the show. She's doing crowdwork. She's unbelievable. And this is coming from someone who's been to the VMAs. I've been to American musical words. She's saying live, better than half the people on those shows.

There's so many fucking talented people on this planet who aren't famous. Which is crazy because everyone's famous. What was the demographic in the crowd? Like, who are you sending with? It was just like couples.

It was very date night. But like, I got some older men in younger women, me and dad's now. But, okay, this is the only drama. Do you think anyone thinks you're a sugar baby?

Yes, or like second wife.

Oh, second wife energy. Oh, okay.

“If he was uglier, I think people would think like sugar baby.”

Yeah. But instead it's giving like, he's trying a new flavor. Yeah. Okay, so this guy sits next to us. And I try not to be judges, especially if men.

I give men so much grace. He sits down. The waitress goes, how are we feeling? And he goes hungry and thirsty. Okay.

Immediately, I'm like, I hate this man. And then she goes, what would you like to eat, sir? And he goes, well, the lady would like. I feel like it's trying to be funny, but that was crazy. He's like ordering for her.

The lady would like this. I'm like, I just don't like this man. Then when she turns around, he pulls out a vape. Oh, wait, they're going to say he's going to slap her ass. I think it's a salt.

It pulls out a vape. It was like, one of these also like bad flavors. Like strawberry melon. Yeah, that you're like this, this could like start a car. Oh, like we're all glowing in the dark after this. Yeah.

It's fully turno ball. Yeah. He fucking hits it. Turns in our direction and blows it at us. Next thing you know, I'm inhaling.

It tastes, so I taste it in my mouth. I'm like, whoa, whoa. So then I pull a mom and I go. Yeah. And does this look, does this like do not?

I'm like, I would never say it, but this is crazy.

And he's like, this is illegal. Like it's crazy. He does it again. That's crazy. So then mid show, then I start to get worried that does might like say something

because like, I don't want does to have to like... It's hard to understand. Yeah. So then the guy apparently turned to does and said, I'm sorry. Like a apologize for it.

But like, it's wild in these streets. How old is this guy? 57. And if someone didn't know your age and they just listened to this episode of the podcast. And all they heard was that like your back is out.

Your chiropractor, you couldn't figure out the portal because technology. You're totally again smoking, especially in public places how dare they. And I don't understand how vapes work. And you went to a burlesque show because that used to be your only form of entertainment 40 years ago. We're all in our 30.

We don't even have kids. No, I'm so much younger than I am in my heart. Yeah. And I had a drink. Oh, this was, I have a drink.

“I turned it, does I go, do you know what alcohol tastes like?”

Rubbing alcohol? He goes, alcohol tastes like alcohol. Yeah. I'm like, it tastes like a fucking like a laundry detergent that I'm about to use to like clean someone's floor. No, it's not good.

It's really not good. Alcohol's bad. You know what I tried? Where was I? That I was like, maybe I'll maybe I have a taste for this now.

And I was like, you guys are psychotic? Was it whiskey? Whiskey? Whiskey sour? No.

It was just like, it was just like a glass with ice and brown. It was just got your whiskey. And I just like took a sip. The guys are, they're lying. This is how I know men lie.

I'm like, there's just no fucking way you sit here and you sip this all night. And you're like, this is a good drink. Well, that's my question about cigars. You're not even inhaling. How do you love it so much?

It gives you a head high. It gives you like a buzz.

Well, you've never smoked a cigarette.

So you wouldn't know that. And I didn't even mean to sound like this. It's great bully. I didn't, that's not how I felt it. Maybe choice yours.

Okay. No, but I'm saying like the first time you smoked a cigarette. And you feel the buzz of what it is.

“You're like, oh, that's why people smoke cigarettes.”

Like, I think maybe the first time I ever tried to cigarette. I was like 18. I was like in college. And I was like, I wouldn't be like so mad at you if I was there. I was like, I don't got it.

Like this is like stupid. What I'm like, Paige, can I talk to you for a second? Then if I'm, then I think I was like in my 20s out at a club. I was drunk. I smoked a cigarette.

I got a head high. And I was like, oh, this is why people do it. Because it makes you feel like a little woozy for a minute. And then you like go back to, so that's what a cigar does. It gives you like a little head high.

And like suck on these very fabric shaped. Like why are they so big? Like they're like, what if we made a cigarette? But it was bigger and fatter. You could just like suck on it all day.

But I'm making a toast. I'm making toast. I was gonna tell you. So he's gonna literally get, every time I record the bond, Joe goes, would you guys talk about it?

And I go, I don't know. I literally blacked out. I'm gonna remember today. I don't need it. Come me.

And then like, the way they judge each other's cigars. Like how, how expensive your cigar. Yeah. Oh, also one more of you has opened thing. Mmm.

Carlos Alcarez. Who I just have to say looks great with his hair long. His hair pushed back. It looks so good. Because he had like kind of a razor cut for a while.

He grew it out while he was injured. He's come back. And Nike's doing this like basketball type of campaign with all their clothes. So he wears this jersey.

And the whole first round, his nipples out.

Like he hits a winner and his nipples.

“Like you know when you go to sleep with a tank top and you wake up with a tittout?”

That was right. Yeah. Yeah. And the girls in the gaze, we were like shout out Carlos like, yeah. Sasha through this match.

You look gorgeous. And he was like a slowmo for him than just like his nipple perfectly popping out. Imagine if he had it pierced. You know. So sexy.

But like also these guys like take their shirt off every like three games. Like it's not that crazy. But then the second round. He had it under shirt on. To be using people like said something.

I think maybe he was. I think he got self-conscious or maybe Nike was like, hey, your nipples getting more attention than the fit. I don't know what happened. But they asked them in an interview and he kind of was like, oh, so Nike's anti-nipple injury.

But it was fun for for a game for a minute, for a minute. But now he's covering his nipples. But the girls are going off with fashion. At the open. Have you seen any?

Like the actual players. Like Taylor Townsend Naomi Osaka. I saw Naomi Osaka. She had like Tom Brown put something together. I think Laura Roach is styling her.

So they have these like runway walks on. I like that. Yeah, it's it's fun. That's fun. Yeah, it's really fun.

Especially because I feel like.

The US open is always around fashion week and it's in New York City.

I'm surprised the US open isn't in like Florida. Hmm. You know.

“Historically it was in Queens on grass courts, so I think it just evolved from there.”

But yeah, there's a Chilean tennis court in Florida. Right, I feel like it just like gives tennis to me. I think Florida. I don't know why. Golf in tennis.

I think Florida. If you go tonight, you could say that to someone. Oh, my goodness. Hey, why aren't we just in Florida? Why don't we just pack this shit up?

Moved Florida. Well, they would have more room. I would assume more people would be able to get tickets. I think half the reason people get were so mad at influencers this year is. Oh, yeah, like the second matches because they were going so late.

You could see a lot of the boxes were done. They were empty, which brands have the boxes, which bring in the influencers. So I think like a lot of fans feel like they get priced out each year. Yeah. And then there's empty seats, and I think that annoys them.

Not to defend all women, but like, get mad at the brand. Right. Also, a lot of these corporate boxes they send an email out to the company like, hey, who wants to go to the US Open. Right.

No one wants to go. And then they have these empty boxes. Right. Which is, that's a brand's problem. But the brands are paying tons of money for these boxes.

So the US Open's going to take it.

Yeah, it's not always the women's fault.

Not always. Not always. Not always. Not always. No, it's really not all women.

You love when the Empire tells everyone to shut up. Oh, because I respect power. You know, until when I see a woman have power, I go, go off, girl. So I like when the Empire is a woman. And she says, over his people should.

And when she's like, shh. I'm like, she goes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Sur in the corner.

I'm going to have to have you stop. Thank you. Did you see the guy?

“I'm the Empire that kept saying, do you really weird?”

So then the crowd would say it back to him really weird. Not to defend a man. But like, he just has a really low baritone voice. And they were making fun of his voice. It made me feel bad.

Cause you don't look like this. But that's like so New York, I feel like. I know. Also, like, let New York, New York. Look, it's chaos.

New York can't be managed. No, they can't. Also, don't give us honey juices up the asshole. And expect us to be quiet all the time. These people are, there's a cake of honey juice.

And then it's like, why is everyone not silent?

Wait, did you see all this stuff about the college like run club? Oh, everyone's mad. All the millennials are mad. And I hate to say this after saying, I don't condone drinking or smoking. But, yeah, part of college is blacking out.

Trinking and spying your way home.

That is your first lesson of life being in a foreign land.

It's just 20 year olds running everywhere. You're puking. You don't even know your name. I don't think you realize what college is for until you get out in the real world. And it sucks.

Yeah. It's basically like life gives you these four years to like fuck around. And like understand that you're about to be an adult soon. And shit's going to get really hard.

“Because then when you get out, you're like, what the hell is this?”

Well, because when you're in college, it's not a problem. It's cute. Right. When you do that shit during college, you're just like growing and learning about yourself. When you do it when you're 32, people start having meetings and interventions.

As much fun as college was, I don't think either of us would ever choose to go back to that age. No. It's quite training. It was really scary. But like, I feel like I look better now, too.

Oh, yeah. No, so scary. Yeah, it's so scary.

Also, I've aged myself to the point that someone messaged me like a dating question.

And I couldn't help them. Because I was like, age down. Like, what? Someone was like, hey, I'm on this dating app. And I saw my coworker and I swiped on him.

And he hasn't responded. So I deleted the app. And like, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, I'm be so real with y'all. I haven't swiped in 10 years at this point.

“So I don't know how the app works anymore.”

But normally, like, he wouldn't know you swiped unless he swiped on you. But like, I don't want to get into it and be like, Tell me the updated algorithm of how like this app works. Oh, like, she was asking, like, did he see it? She, yeah, but she also, like, I just couldn't help

because I don't know how the app works anymore. Because I know how it works in like 2018. Right. I have my shit. Yeah. No, I don't know how that.

I don't know how any of the apps work either. But also kind of think what I would do if I saw a coworker, what I swip on them or not. I feel like I wouldn't. It depends us here, office crush.

Yeah. This is the move. I remember if I saw anyone on the app, I would swipe right to be like, ha ha. Like, you know, oh, I know that guy.

Wait, why is this thing? I feel like I, this was just on Love Island. And they were like yelling at one of the girls for like swiping. And she was like, I just like saw him.

I wasn't trying to like talk to him. Oh, I love that. She's your point. Which she was like a ha ha. Like when I was roommates with Dave and Cory,

when I'd see one of their friends on the app, you'd swipe so you could message them on it and be like, ha ha, you're stupid. Ha ha, but no girls want you. What the fuck are you doing here? You lonely asshole.

Have you watched anything? Okay, there's stuff coming up and something I did watch. It's called Welcome to the Family on Hulu. Mm-hmm. That if I didn't drug myself yesterday,

I would have finished. It is incredible. It's about this husband who gets murdered and they realize that this woman's family might be behind this murder.

It's basically like be careful who you Marion to,

which reminds me of my joke, which it's like, they say you marry the man. You don't marry the man, you marry the man's family, and I said, if you time it right, this does his family's dead.

Just his parents. He's my whole family. He has siblings. But this was one of those things where the parents hated her husband.

Yeah. And they were like going to do anything they could to get him out of her life. And there's also the brother that's involved. And you hear phone calls of the brother

“and the mom talking about how much they hate that guy?”

Yeah. It's basically like, we love a close family. That's Italians. And it's like, I know so many families like this. And everyone talks about like gossiping

within your family's fun. But to actually be like, let's put a hit on. Let's kill. Let's kill that other family. It's insane.

You know what's crazy is like, how do you find that many people that have the same mental illness as you? You mean like, nosiness? No, like, how is the whole family that crazy?

Yeah. Like, John just came up with the best idea you're going to want to hear it. And then they hear it. And they're like, that's the best idea.

Let's mark this whole family. Well, the thing with families is they do enable each other. And a lot of the times they have the same genetic issues. And I find with some of these crazy families

And they do.

“They have one guy who was like, fuck this family.”

One of the brothers.

That's like, he moved like across the country

and doesn't talk to them. And he's going to ask questions and he's like, well, they're fucking crazy, but I didn't think they were capable of this. Right.

So, they're very interesting. I've heard you want your mobile phone number? But it's so easy to come from. Who's with a XXL streaming app? A 2-tambi?

No, I'm not going to let it go again. Just a little bit. With mobile phones in real life, Frank. From the beginning to the beginning,

you could say, for 10 euros in a month. Frank? No. Frank.

In Greek and in Hebrew, you don't have a lot of questions. Today, I'll show you something. What do you mean? What do you mean?

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And that's my talk experience. I don't think people know that.

“When Chad Michael Murray came out, I was like,”

"I'm not everything makes sense." Everything makes sense. Yeah, that's how Stephanie was. She loved him. When he was in freaky Friday, I loved him in freaky Friday.

See, I thought miscast. I watched freaky Friday and I got a miscast. I didn't find him that. He was a pile and blonde. I loved him.

He was just like, "Hey, these men also had no lines." They had no lines in all these movies. They were just like, "Let's do new." Accepting Gilmore girls. The one blonde boyfriend that she had.

Not Dean, not Jess. What was the other guys? This was every guy named Dean who was Dean or Ethan. It was like the name of every single boyfriend. Oh my god, wait.

This is actually like, I feel like I should go to the hospital that I don't know. I could book in a point for you. Logan, oh my god, Logan Huntsburger.

That he was my favorite boyfriend.

I always wanted her to end up with him.

But because like, he was a bad boy. And he like had a lot of money.

“And so he would like take her to cool places.”

And I loved him. And he was blonde. It's like the eight and verse big debate. Yeah. Like you loved big.

Yeah. But this is my thing. I didn't like that eight and was like an artist. He like did furniture. I was like, I don't know.

I didn't mind that. I didn't like that eight and was like a so dramatic and like emotional. Yeah. He was always like shut up.

And you're country house fucking sucks. Like why would I want to be in a country house

when big could put me in a goddamn limo up to a penthouse.

Like the thing he was shining. He was whiny. But really the my favorite character of all time in Sex in the city is the girl that big married and cheated on Natasha.

She's the chicest. She was the prettiest. I love her the most. She's Tom Brady's wife in real life. You know that.

Speaking of Tom Brady. I watched the Earl show.

“They whole plane ride home from my flight.”

This episode is definitely themed because I felt very old. Even though I there were certain things like I could relate to being on reality TV and there were like certain things that I could like pick up on. There was like a moment where like the one sister asked and says like I'm 23. And I was like oh.

No, this is a small little girl. Like people are being mean to her. Like I cause it made me. It made me upset that. Things that they're feeling about being in the public eye.

I didn't feel until I was like 28, 29. And I was just like I feel bad that they they're feeling it right now. And there's people that are so jealous and mean to them. Also there at the point where like that first heartbreak. I heard you talk about Braxton like.

Yeah, when you're in your early 20s. You have the first heartbreak. It feels like the end of the world. Right. Like I wanted to hold her and be like.

Yeah. I could remember him. I also give the girls the two older like Alex and Ash and I give them a lot. A lot of credit for how mature they are in terms of having a step mom and like a whole. They're dad having a like a whole second family.

They're so respectful to their step mom and like mature in like their situation. I just thought it was so commendable.

Like I wouldn't I could never at 33 I could never.

Like certain things the step mom said to Alex. If I had a step mom and she ever said that to me. No. No.

“Like there were certain conversations and I was like what did you just say to her?”

And I will never call you mom. I just I was like I would never be this nice to someone who did something so crazy to my mom. So I like commended them for that. There's a lot of people in line who love to hate influencers. I've seen things just like making fun of whatever like a blonde influencer.

Yeah. Alex are a little smarter than an influencer. Then a majority of people like she's fucking smart. Like say it's what about her but don't say she's this don't. Yeah.

She's a marketing genius. Yeah. We're just doing the Kardashians all over again. It's like what do they have real talent? Okay.

They do. They feed three girls. There's there's smart. There's strategic and very smart. Like this isn't an accident that she's been able to grow her career.

No. Yeah. 100%. But it was like a good. It was a cute reality show.

It's only like eight episodes I watched. I think I finished it on the plane. But it was good. Yeah. That's awesome.

I have to dig in even though. I have trouble with reality sometimes. Yeah. It's actually it's not for you. Oh.

Because it's not as it's not as explosive as like a bravo show. Like there's really not that much drama. I also have a feminist moment. I was just thinking about husband and wives. You know how in the past like husbands would be like my wife is nagging me.

My nagging wife. My wife's nagging me. We have to take that word back and say it about husband. So like when your husband or boyfriend knows you'd be like, "Can you sub nagging me?"

Yeah. Okay. Let's just try it out for a bit. It's really nagging. I don't think anyone's ever said that to me.

They've said much about you. I really get nagging would be like subdued for when I... Like I can sound the piece full of the sounds.

They're so supportive that I care.

I get more along the lines of evil, Satan, witchy. You know I get things that are quite more diabolical. Anyway, I'm making everyone a better person around me. Mental health moment of the week.

I was like scrolling on TikTok and occasionally something about me will come up. But occasionally it's something like nice. Like there's been funny stuff about my mouth going around. Everyone's in a while, you're like, "That made me chuckle." And I looked and I saw that you had reposted it.

I don't know, but it was just a nice TikTok about me. And I was like, "This is like fucking your best friend." Like, "It made me so happy."

“Oh, I think it might have been something about your Lulu Lemon.”

Or something about my mouth.

I know something that was like really cute. And then it just had like pages so burrito. So I was like, "That's like burrito fucking." That's my girl right there. I think I know the word.

I think a girl said Hannah still can't move her mouth. So we have six more weeks of summer. Yeah. I thought that was so funny. I just can't more people need to see this because this is hilarious.

I love why you didn't fully remember. I was like, "It was something complimenting my fashion or something. I forgot and you were like, "No, she's making fun of your smile." And it was so good.

But just spreading awareness for funny women.

I appreciate it. Appreciate it. Now I literally forgot about my smile because my full fucking back is out.

“Honestly, I'm so old, where I don't even think about it anymore.”

I know. And like, it's, no, I think this is Hannah. I thought it's bad. But it's almost, it's getting better. It's getting better.

But now I'm, like, pass the points. Like, not that funny anymore. It's just, like, slightly off. We're getting to the point when people are like, "Okay, is it going to wear off?" I don't know what to do.

I was going to point when people were like, "We got a chicken smile. I'll get a new fucking bit." No, we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. Wait, I have one question before we go.

Yeah.

“For the fall, are you going to do some type of red?”

Like, what are we doing with your hair for the fall? I'm going to send in spokeics. You think I should go different red? No, I just think we need to amp it up and get and do, like, a fall. Yeah.

I think I want a deeper red. You guys see, like, I'm getting off the cone. She's like, "Enroll quick. We're going to change your plan." Can you do it? Okay, see, you're reached for a quick change.

We'll quick around to change everything. But I think for the fall, I just want your little more fire and jeannie red. Oh, I'm down. Like, the summer, I think you give more of like a strawberry red. And I think this fall, I want something a little deeper.

Okay, we'll talk. We'll offline. You're living in my creative director. You're like, "It's not working, but we'll fix it. Don't worry. Have a good day. Bye." Okay, love you guys. Talk to you later.

I'm going to show you the details and the details. Job's not too much. Hey, what's up with you? What's up? It's a lot of fun.

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