Giggling about fashion week, think tanks, and per se

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I have a mobile phone connection. Your whole phone is connected to me! [LAUGHTER] I'm not talking to you! I'm not talking to you!

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Inclusive EU roaming. And also in Switzerland. Frank? No. Frank.

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Hello, my glitzzy gigglers.

It's fashion week. It's fashion! Wait, let me get my shades on. It's fashion week. It's too much.

And it's got to be up at 8.30 a.m. I just opened my eyes. I do have to say. The reason I'm so awake is woke up to humble brag. Name drop.

Voice message from Chelsea Handler. Did not realize I was going to be with so put with me. Handler calls me in a tizzy. She's like, wait, I don't like remember how the text went. We somehow miscommunicated with Chelsea Handler

that we're going to be with so open. And she's like, I'll see you tomorrow, pick you up at 3.

“You know what we don't talk about enough on this pod?”

That I miscommunicate with everyone. That you just like flex on us randomly. Well, I'm feeling a little insecure because you've been hang out with Kendall Jenner all week. So like I had a plug.

I had to do a plug. I met her for two and a half minutes. Yeah, but the way she looked at you, I didn't like that. She loved you. She literally was like, oh, that's my girl.

We didn't talk about it because she is Brunette. Yeah, she loved you. And it's like when you hang out with people, you're hanging out with blondes. It's kind of like when you have a hot boyfriend.

Like I want girls to look at him like he's hot. Like I want other girls to want to be friends with you. But I just want them to nir, put in the time and effort. Right. Anywho, oh yes, so somehow you guys,

I'm going to the U.S. open tonight with my mom. What are you wearing, doll?

I didn't go to the, this is the first time in 10 years.

I haven't gone to the U.S. open 10 years. Yeah, I've gone every year for like 10 years. Oh my god, and you just learned the rules last year. You know, you want to know what 10 years. Wait, do you want to know something?

And this happens at every sporting event in my life because then I sat down and I thought about it. And I'm like, why is it impossible for me to retain this information? You don't care.

Every year, the Super Bowl comms are like some playoff games comms that people are like, big game. We're doing a party or we're going somewhere, get an outfit. And every year, I relearn the rules of football.

And I think I got this, this is easy. Not to defend you, but you have so many algorithms in your head for outfits. You're putting together for the event. And by the time you get there, you're burnt.

You've nothing left to get. I have to go to the Giants game on Sunday. I can't figure out what to wear. It's killing me. I'm doing all fashion week stuff.

All I care about is this Giants outfit because it's stumping me. Wait, 'cause it's nighttime. I don't know what the weather is. Like, it's a nighttime game vibe is very different.

And then it's like, if the sun goes down and it drops to like 60, I'm gonna be freezing. But if I'm there for a tailgate, I'll be sweating my balls off. I feel like ESPN, like here's about us.

Like, someone's like, in the network meeting, they're like, okay, the numbers are good, but giggly squad, the number one sports podcast in the world is really good. Like, we don't try to talk about sports.

Do you think I can find a red track jacket

“anywhere to get shipped to me in less than two days?”

This is the problem with shopping. I can't go anywhere and get anything immediately. Track jackets are trending. They've been trending for six months. Why the fuck can I find a red track jacket?

Hmm, interesting. I want a windbreaker. I want like, I want something that I can curl under that I can wear with a black capri. And then I can decide if I want to do a flat

That was my vision for the outfit. Look. But now I'm like, I'm thinking everything. One in doubt, windbreaker it out. Yeah.

That's what we said.

So what we said, 'cause the truth is,

you're never too cold, you're never too hot. You can blow in it. You look like you're leaving at any time, which is cool girl. I can wear a comfy tank under it.

Oh, I love it.

“And then if you want to show a low deck of Taj,”

you can, but then if you want to be stuck up, you can pull it up. You do a stud and a track jacket, and you can put her up. If you want, you can also put a cheese rich, but she's not throwing it in your face.

Yes, well, that's why the YSL windbreaker's so fucked up. At track jackets just has so much. And also you are the fastest kid in the fifth grade, so it's just like, is a great callback, fourth grade turn. And I owe it all to these one pair of Nike sneakers

that I really, I feel like they never remained. The bottom of those sneakers are the best bottoms. I remember the ones that had the wear bones. A little bit, they were rippled all the way down,

and the side was a pink Nike sign,

but Hannah, it was metallic. It was like hard. It was like 3D, like you could touch it. It was pink metallic. I'm just envisioning you winning the Olympics

and going on stage and everyone's like, how did you do it? And I'm like, you're like, the pink metallic Nike he all that I wore was so like on it. I'm not kidding, I love them so much.

I got them the next year in silver. Every year before school, my mom would take me to get my smoker for the year, and it stumped me. I love so much of you.

Every year, I was like, I can't do this again. I don't know. I would call one of my friends who was like sporty, and I'd be like, what's in for sneakers? (laughing)

I actually think like, what's in your world? What are the sporty, what are they doing? Sweaty girls wear now. Did you have like different gym outfits each year? No, we wore gym uniforms.

“So the only thing I was in charge of were the sneakers.”

You would have hated our gym, uniform at MS51s. It was yellow and blue. I don't mind. There was no gay behind that.

It was a big yellow shirt and not like cute butter yellow. Like inner face yellow and then blue. It was shorts. It wasn't go with my skin tone, but let me just say, I loved some class.

Yeah, no, okay. So every year I learned the rules of the U.S. Open to Super Bowl and like horse betting. So my theory that I learned. Wait, so now I'm worried as you guys know.

My dream is to be friends with Chelsea Hammer. Like that was my dream. It's happened. But now it's like I've to deal with the consequences of my actions.

If I'm with Chelsea men semi-finals, Tiafo Ben Shelton, I might get hammered. I think if there's ever a time for you specifically as Hannah Lucy Burner at Scorpio, wait, you're birthday.

No, we had your birthday. (laughs) By the way, still haven't gotten my present. You want to know why? Because I look at your present every single day.

And you want it. No, and I want to like mail it to you. And I'm like, that's my friend. I need to give it to her in person. I'm gonna see her in person.

Last night I was like, (gasps) (laughs) Wait, wait, wait, wait. And I was like, Stember, October, November.

And I literally was like, we have to start Googling. I was like, cool girl present. Do you know once a year I text grace at or it could be any month of the year? And you're one to birthday.

And I go, one is Hannah's birthday again. Oh, well, yours on Google's wrong.

Like I always know it's August,

“but every time I, I think I gaslight myself”

into like changing the day in my own head. You know, doesn't I have the same day? Like I'm August 12th, he's November 12th. And I don't know what that means, but I can make it up. Definitely means something, right?

For sure, yeah. There's like all this different stuff. Like you can do like your life path number. Oh yeah. And you can like add out sort of 12 and 12 definitely

means something. Well, that's the only math you do. You're like, if you add one plus two, equals three. If you think I have been written down, 1999, I don't know certain.

They're like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you need a creative later. You had adventure, adventure discoverer. No, but they're accurate. You're like barren.

Okay, so what are you going to wear to the US Open now two days in a row? This is my thing. My dream is wearing some like really cool vintage, preppy, like tennis inspired,

like fucking sweatership. I don't know, but I've been told by the people around me on my team, I have to be more subdued. I can't dress like a clown, like they're like, you're 35 now, like, they want me to wear more black

and like, be common.

but like when I'm on the word carpet, yeah, that's how you are though. I'm on drag race. Yeah, that's fine. When, look, not just sound like 87 years old,

but like, we're not always going to be on red carpets.

Well. (laughs) Look at Jane found them. I'm sorry, I feel like red carpets are for any age. Yeah, no, but I'm saying like,

there might not always be a time where you're like, I want to go on this red carpeter. I want to throw a fit on this carpet.

“I think do it and do it now, how you want to do it.”

How fun. I do have to say, 'cause this is so less minute, it's up in the air, and I know it stresses you out, but you, if, where's the scenario? I skip the carpet.

If the outfit's just like, not outfit- Oh, yes. You've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're actually like, kind of murdering me.

Okay, but there's going to be pictures of Chelsea handler sitting here. Hey, it's Hannah, shall we? Let her, wait, it's going to be so embarrassing when the jumbo trons going to go to Chelsea handler,

and I'm just going to be sitting next to you. Yeah, that's why you have to have that least a good outfit from the waist up. Wait, should I make out with her on the jumbo tron? (laughs)

A mansion? That would be iconic. That would be a really good promo for a tennis movie. That would literally be Madonna Britney Spears in comedy. Like if you and Chelsea handler wrote a tennis movie together,

the tennis lesbian commentator movie, and you starred in it. Tennis lesbian sports broadcasters. And the way you did the first promo of the movie was at the U.S. Open on the jumbo tron,

and everyone picked it up. Like they thought it was real, and then everyone was like, "Actually, it's a promo for a movie." We use this podcast.

It's just brainstorming. It's a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. This is Silicon Valley for girls. Wait, not even speaking of, but it's actually been on my mind for like the past two days.

I don't know why.

“Are we just never getting Taylor Swift's wedding pictures?”

Was that the gag?

Hey, I'm having a thousand people, you'll never see it.

Well, people were commenting, apparently Travis said, apparently, he said like the show was great. Like he called it a show, which made people feel like that wasn't actually their wedding ceremony.

It was more like a, but this is the thing, if you're gonna have a big Shabbang, don't you wanna publicize it? Well, I don't even care about the wedding per se. I love when you say per se.

It tickles my fancy. And I think more companies should be named per se. Every sentence should start with per se 'cause it makes sense per se. It's like, it's like millennial LOL,

you can end every sentence with per se. It's also kind of like a really cute girl's name. Oh, he said that, say it. - Per se! - Per se! P.S. so cute.

Think about the theme to birthday parties. P.S. just like they're all little writers. - You think about their embroidery? - So cute. - You have to think about these things.

- What were we saying? - Wait, I have an invention for our incubator. Actually, this is so page-coded, but I have to remember to bring, I have this one pair of black or preys

that fit me, right? That I might wear at the US Open, but I have to remember to pack it and I'm jumping on that. I just have to remember to pack it.

Okay. And that's the kind of thing that I know I'm gonna forget. And I realize, people will be like, "Hey Siri, remind me, that doesn't work for me.

I don't talk to Siri.

I've actually never spoken to Siri in my life."

So industry-staying. So also, I don't know when I'm actually me walking out the door. And if I put it in my notes, I don't click the notes. So it's like, I want an app on the phone

that's like, put it, calls you? No, I just want it, like, sorry, it's lowest. - And happy birthday, lowest. - So cute. - I want it to just like be popped up on your screen

“like permanently, like when you have important things”

that you can't forget at any time. - Wait, I have to go sign for a package or he's gonna take it back. I'll be right back to the emergency. - Go, girl, go.

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Marin had just shipped me a bunch of clothes and I had to... Oh my god. I had a haul last in the door. Wait, your forehead looks really shiny.

Thanks, I did a medicube sleeping mass last night and I also popped up at them all. I feel like you've already started fashion week, but we have our first fashion shows together.

“Yep, how are you preparing for the fashion shows you're going to?”

Like, tell the good gloves. The only preparation I'm doing is like picking out my outfits. Like, I got invited. This is the first time I've ever gotten invited to like a Chanel anything, really.

And I got invited to this dinner tonight

and so I'm like, I've never tried on more outfits.

More Chanel. No, I don't even have any Chanel. So I'm like, I'm like, does this give Chanel? And then I'm like, is everyone gonna be wearing? Chanel is that like, not cool shit to be like one thing?

It's just relatable issues. Just stupid problem after I. But I'm so excited to go. So I don't even care what else I'm doing because that is my first thing this week.

But I haven't really done any preparation, skin wise. That's different from my usual routine. I was gonna get a spray tan, but I like don't have it in me. In sometimes, I can't do it. And I'm like, tanish, it's just,

I don't know, I can, I know. I'm 35. I am going to LA at the end of the month, but and I am thinking, already thinking about the spray tan I'm gonna get.

No, you make me feel like I should have gotten a spray tan. And let's just point out to the Googlers, you've been sending me pics of red hair. Oh, okay, well, you're (laughs) you're a demon.

Yeah, you're an actual demon. You waited till the last second of the last podcast.

Like, every I was like, amazing, good, good to see you.

Love you, bye. And you go, wait, wait, wait, wait, one more thing. One more little, tiny thing. She goes, small thing that you'll think about for the next three days.

You look like shit. And then things up. And I was like, okay, my hope. I thought she was like, into the vibe I was bringing to the function, so then I'm looking in the mirror,

like, this is all wrong. This whole time, this is all wrong. And then Des agreed with you. That's when you know we've plotted. And I couldn't understand it.

Did he start it? No, he takes it, you can kind of please change her hair. Hugh, I'm no better than a man. I'm looking at pictures of girls all day. Yeah.

All I do is look at pictures of women. And I admire them.

“And I think, like, what are cool things that I could take”

from their life and put it into my life? And one of the things that brings me joy is looking at different red heads, just red head. It's like me looking at white cats. Yes, it's actually the exact equivalent.

Yeah, when I look at red dog cats, I'm like, this is Paige's culture. Yeah, I'm like, my friend could do this. And I'm like, oh my god, she could rock this shade. I think I will go a deeper red.

But I also had a moment where I was like, do I just fucking go back Bruna?

Well, I was like, forecasting, because, you know,

my casting for auditions, it hasn't been going while the last three months, because of my acidermation. You're, but you're dealing with something. And I don't, and this is exactly what happens to women when they can't change one thing.

They want to try and change another. And it's not the thing we're changing. We also, this is so stupid. But when you change your hair color,

“you have to get like new extension colors.”

No, they are going to say, oh, a whole new person. You have to get a whole new wardrobe. You have, you're a, you are a different person. I have to walk into rooms differently. I have to walk differently.

I talk differently. Me with bangs, much more anxious.

Oh yeah, no, you're more neurotic with bangs.

You have to be like, girls with bangs are smart. 'Cause they prepare. Girls with bangs have something, something hiding under there. Also, I love how you only bring them out like when you want. They're not for every kitchen.

I just pretend I don't have that. It's giving snooky right now. That's me, it's just being like, and I'm 33, and I don't give a fuck what you say. Do you know what I love?

It like, I can't pull off, but I want you to. I love when they take the bang and they do that side, like, slick side, like short, like. Okay, well, it's funny because I didn't know anything that I was gonna wear to the Chanel dinner,

but all I wanted to do was like a slick back bun, like all the way back, like no part. And then just like one bang. I don't know why that was my vision, but 'cause I don't even have my outfit yet.

Well, the bang just be like, like I'll fall for. I want just like one. Would it be slick down, like, like, curled? No, not like slick to my forehead, just like that,

but like, that was my vision. But I go on pinch, all I do is Pinterest. Sorry, this is pretty privilege, and I have to call it out. She's like, what if we just, like, a random bus

and a random bat, and it's like, yeah, you look pretty 'cause you have like a nice, symmetrical, beautiful face. Meanwhile, I was on a zoom yesterday with Grace, my hair in a bun, and I started playing with these hairs, and I was just like, braiding them.

New growth. That looks like a new growth, Hannah.

“What have I show up at the Chanel dinner like this?”

With the right outfit, it's actually really chic. I have a bone to pick with you because and I have, and have actually been keeping it in because I haven't even wanted to broach the subject with you.

It's only 8.53 a.m. and now you wanna start show with me. Come on, let's go. It's not, it's gonna end up working in your favor, though, but a couple months ago, you brought something up, and you said,

and we all made fun of you, and we said, you were crazy and outlandish. If I had a nickel, if I had a fucking nickel, we're really, you were right, and he was a monster. But Hannah, I can't stop thinking about, like,

a pixie cut, like a really short, like a super, one of my girlfriends has a super short haircut, and she looks cute. - I got goose bumps, like I'm gonna cry. - Peter, what a cry, that's my dream for me.

- I just can't stop thinking about, like, okay, like, what if I got a bob, and I'm like, but what if I did a different kind of bob, and it was really more just like, he, like, I don't know. And then I'm like, that's a pixie.

- Audrey Hepburn, like, and you just do all different, you could do all your weird little fucking bangs. - Yeah, I know. - But, like, not, it needs to commit. Like, I want to see the shape of the back of your hat.

- Here's the thing, here's the thing.

It's not just changing my hair. I need new friends. I need new, like, I need new restaurants. I need new outfits. - She goes, you're the first that's getting cut, babe.

- And if you're not fire engine red, I'm sorry, we can't, this, I can't walk in with a pixie cut,

“and then just my brunette friend, you need to miss him.”

- Wait, if you walked into the Chanel dinner with a literal pixie, ever grown New York City, would we have a pixie cut by the fall? - No, I mean, that is so extra. I'd have to really be going through something

to just, like, do you have a stream? But I've been thinking about it. There's just so many factors. - I'm inspired by my mom, but maybe do it when you're pregnant one day.

Like, it's summer, you're pregnant, and you want to cut it off. - I just feel like a massive round face matching my stomach, the last thing I'm thinking about is cutting my hair up to here.

- Yeah, your tongue is gonna be too swollen. - Because I game weight in my face.

- The first place I game weight in my face. (laughing) - Don't, I do. - When I got my wisdom teeth out, my dad said, don't look at me.

(laughing) He said, I'm sorry.

“All I have to say is it's giving your cat journey”

where you told me, at one point, you were like literally go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself. And then one day, you were like, I have an idea. - I'm no better than a man.

- You're no better than a man. - I'm no better than a man. - But it's gonna take longer, 'cause even when you first said I wanted to cat, it took a lot of time.

- One thing about me, I have to do things on my own time. - I know. - And that could be three minutes. That could be three years.

- And that's the only one thing I've never,

I've never pressured you to do anything, but I want to have recommendations. - Yeah. - Where you on the other hand will be like, you look like shit, I can't do this anymore.

You look like a clown. By the way, the beginning of summer house, I was blonde. - And no, it talks about it. - I didn't know I was blonde. Can we talk about that?

Do you ever not know that you're blonde? I thought I was just getting highlights. - You know what? - I didn't realize you didn't know you weren't blonde. Until one day you came in with like a super low light

and you were like, hey, I was blonde. - It's 'cause I can't communicate with people. - Remember when like, J-Lo, when, give me a bit of a said J-Lo. - Remember in Jennifer Lopez went like super blonde

or like kind of blonde for her. - Like a Kardashian one blonde. - That's what you were at that color. You were like honey-ish. - It didn't say no bad.

I am a communicating with all I fucking do is talk to people all day, but like I can't communicate

and I never wanted, I always wanted warm.

Like I like warm tones. Anyway, I have a really bad miscommunication problem. I went to a chiropractor yesterday. Shout out to all my good glues in the DM. They're like, hey, I went to Harvard.

“I'm physical therapist, this is what you should do.”

I am physical therapist number one, by the way. I don't recommend chiropractor or physical therapy. Chiropractor was just me having some fun. Having some whimsy.

- Yeah, just testing it out, seeing what works. But a lady like, my biggest fear is when I do stuff, it's gonna make it worse. Like, I've got a massage, it made it worse. I'm going to chiropractor.

I'm like, please don't make it worse. I got Botox and my master is in my life worse. This is why I don't do things. This is why I don't leave the house, right? So I go, and I've done this thing.

They put the stem machine on that you're back. And what they normally say is like, let us know when we should stop. Don't describe the contraption. - They put this cold stuff like an ultrasound on your back.

And they put these stickers on and it adds electricity. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But they don't want to electrocute you, but they want to do it strong enough that it's doing something.

So you tell them when it's strong enough? - Is it like instant relief? - It feels like a deep, deep stimulation. - I did something like that, but it was for to get abs. - You're like, I did that on my clip.

I'm sorry. (laughs) - I like to make me go and do that somewhere. I'm like my butt in my abs. - Did it work? - I mean, maybe, I don't know, not really.

- I've got it felt good. But I've done this before.

They always say like, tell us when it's strong enough.

- She didn't say that. - How many levels, like, it goes up to, like, love it. - You just hear like, be, be, be, be, but it's just keeps getting stronger. But she didn't verbalize, like, say something.

- Okay, and like, in that moment, by the, I'm like, she should say that. And then she's like, just doing it, and I'm like, does she know? And then it gets, like, really fucking strong.

And then, I guess I like, can't be assertive and find the, I'm like, that's good. And then she's like, great, leaves the room. It's way too strong. - Oh my God, Hannah.

- My back is like, spasming. And then, as my back is spasming, I'm like, do I yell from this office? But then I'm like, that's so embarrassing. I'm not yelling from this office.

- Hannah, you're literally, I bet I'm like, I'm not trapped, like, getting electrocuted. Like, I'm getting a lobotomy. - How are the patches on you? Are they like stuck to you?

- Yeah, they're like stick, you can rip it off. But like, I'm not trying to create a scene. - No, I would have ripped it off. See, that's, I can't be, no. If I'm uncomfortable, I'm screaming.

- I have a high tolerance for, my back is like, like, it's literally, I could feel it spasming.

“And then I'm like, okay, she'll come back to check on me, right?”

She'll come back. It's spasming. And then I hear someone come into the office and it's like an old employee. And they're all like, oh my god.

So then there's like stuff in your happy birthday. - He's like surprised. It's been 20 years and everyone's like, how have you been? Tell us everything.

How's your, how's your kid? Did you have married? What was the wedding? - Well, when I left in 2004, I'll start there. - Like, what?

Every employee is now like in the lobby talking to this person.

if I was gonna cause a scene like now, like this is the way to, yeah. - I can't, so then she eventually came in. I was like, can you make a little less? And she's like, okay, good news.

I woke up this morning and my back's not fucked. But that's just a glimpse into the life of me trying to butter myself. - How long realistically do you think you were laying there with it turned all the way up?

Like, five minutes. - It fell? - Like two hours. - It was probably like eight minutes now. So you would have like escaped.

- Before she left the room, I would have been like, actually let's lower it a little. - You know what that's what it is. I don't listen to my first instinct.

“- You have to, you have to, you have to.”

They see only thing I listen to. - Do you know what I want to say though? Now, I'm 35, I was voice learning someone and I knew Tee about someone that they knew. And normally, I would just be wanting to be liked

and just like tell them just to be a fun friend. Did you tell me this, Tee? - Yeah, you know this, James. - Okay, proceed. And then I stopped for a second, I said, you know what?

You can't just tell everyone everything. You can't. And I live my whole life telling everyone everything. I'm trying to be like, okay, she might not think this conversation

as fun as it would have been, but I don't need to spread information to people who might, I don't trust with it. - Well, what people don't realize truly, the art of gossip is to actually not gossip.

Because so many people will tell you things 'cause they'll be like, who's she gonna tell?

She's never told the single.

So you have to have one person that you tell everything, too. But you can't say it to everyone because then not everyone's gonna tell you stuff. And so you need to keep your mouth shut

so that certain people feed you the info. Like, I feel like I've stared people straight in the face, listen to a story that they've told me about themselves and in my head I've been like, I already know.

Like, I already know this gossip. I was a gossiping with someone not even. I actually wasn't gossiping because it was about myself. I was telling someone about myself.

And this person started to cry. And I was like, oh my God, why are you crying? Like, it's a truly, you don't have to cry. Like, I'm not upset. Like, I'm just like, I'm telling you this story

if that happened in my life. You don't have to cry about this. They stopped crying. And they said, yeah, sorry. I actually don't know why I did that

because I already know this story. She was acting too hard. They're like, I couldn't have heard it before. She's like, it was one of those moments.

“I remember where I was, what time it was,”

what day of the week? I sobbed out of my tracks.

I go, never have I ever had someone admit to me

that they were like, that they were scamming me, like that they already knew the gossip. Now if I know something, I'm not saying, I'm not saying, yeah, I know so and so told me, especially you're telling me like a vulnerable story.

I'm in the moment with you. I'm forgetting that I even knew this. You don't want to give away your source. Yeah. I do feel like there's a lot of comedy gossip

where like when I'm in the road with my openers, I haven't been in the clubs in a minute. So that's the best gossip because like, I'm not there. So I'm like, it doesn't have to do with me.

Yeah, so that's like the best kind of gossip. Gossip about other people? Yeah, it's the best when you're not involved. Your friends are involved. That's the best kind of gossip.

I think people open up to me and then I have this wealth of knowledge.

I would never tell, if someone says don't tell anyone,

I wouldn't tell. It was insecurities of my own that I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough, just existing.

“And you have to have unconditional love surrounding you,”

not based on good gossip that you figured out. Sometimes I've gotten some of the best gossip in the world. And someone has called me and been like, I know you have this gossip and I have been like, I really don't, what do you like, what have you are?

Also think I can't lie. Yeah, you're, you're better not lying but you're better at poker face. Yes, because I feel like I deep down in my core of my personality is, who are you?

I don't owe you anything. Who are you to ask me something that I know that you think that you should also know? Where you're nicer.

One follow up. Where you don't, that you don't have that. No, I am, you know what is, this is what it is. I'm too trusting. And you're not pessimistic about anything.

Where I am. When I meet someone, I assume their angels. I assume they've been brought to me by God to be a beautiful spirit in my life. And then I get fucked.

And nine times out of 10. And it's crazy at 30. That's what it is. I'm so trusting that I see people like savor the information the right way.

Not use it against me, not use it against other people. 'Cause I'm just having innocent fun.

Because the first person they're calling,

they're saying, guess what the fuck can a burner just told me?

“That's how they're starting out the story.”

And I don't know if it's also because I am like a tennis nerd. We're like, my social stuff was like me playing mine games with girls on tennis courts. It wasn't like friend drama. Like my drama was competing.

Your all-girl school, like that's 101. You use information as power. My boyfriend and high school got asked to prom from by a different girl at a different school. At like two in the afternoon, I knew by two, 15.

Like I, there were no bounds to my web. Like I knew I was in years everywhere, babe. He was like, I just left that class. How do you find that out? You go also, it was me who asked him.

I was testing him. I go, it was me in a wig, in a mustache. This is before we had DMs, okay? We were old school. We stalked.

We stalked. Like cyber stalking, get a grip, get in a car, drive by his house. Look at what? Also, this girl, I posted on my story.

This, this great time this player actually who works for the USDA found. We were in the Eastern section. Wait, the USDA. You would have loved this.

The United States Tennis Association. USDA, why did I just think, like, worked for, like, meal, like, the USDA? I'm like, wait, where he's for, like, a farm,

which honestly sounds amazing.

So you would have loved it 'cause Tennis was divided by section. So there was like, there's Eastern girls. There's the Southern girls. So like, we would have these thing called Zones where we'd be, like, the Eastern girls,

who compete against, like, the Southern girls. And it was fucking crazy. But also, we, the Eastern girls would compete against each other. So we also would be with each other. So it was just, like, really complicated and layered.

But they, I guess they'd have these, like, little magazines where they'd put photos of, like, the rankings. And she found, like, in 2004. I guess I was number one in girls doubles in, for the Eastern section.

“And I saw that photo, I remember, like, the young Hannah”

that, like, that was everything. Yeah, to be in that little magazine. And my face, and I'm just like, but, like, when you're in that magazine, you're, like, how, 2004, 2004, you're, what, and, like,

I guess I was, like, 12, 13, yeah, I was 12. Wow, time really flies. No, I know. (upbeat music) - I have heard, you will,

then, "Mobile, Fungva, Trake, Königen." But so, actually, I didn't come from there. - We were with a XXL streaming app. - A 2-termly? - No, no, no, no, no, I didn't even have a word. (laughing)

- Just a little bit. - Then, "Mobile, Fung, in real life, "Kine, Alptrond, Frank." From the beginning, "One, Mind, Trake," left, "Monathlich, Könpa." For "10, Euro, Immunat."

Frank? - No, Frank. (upbeat music) - The "No, how I know I'm old." - Mm. - This new thing is happening to me.

When I see another girl, especially if she's younger, I like wanna call her an nickname. - Don't do that. - Not like a, like, nice, sweet hunt.

- I wanna be like, "Hi, honey." - Like, I want to be like, "Oh, yes, yes, yes."

- And I've never had that urge,

“but not each. - What age, what age are you starting?”

Like, "Where are you seeing a girl in your life?" - Like, like, early 20s, I just wanna be like, "Oh, hi, babe." Like, "I want to baby them." And it's funny 'cause when you're their age

and older women say, "Honey, do you? You're like, please don't do that." - Yeah, please don't do that. - It's something that just happens when you're older. You just like, wanna, give them money.

- Wanna nurture. - Yeah, it's, I think it's mother nature. I think it's our biological clock. - I didn't consciously decide this though, it just started coming out.

I'd be like, "Hi, honey." I think it's the thing that I'm trying to weaponize against us. - Yeah, I'm trying to take it, take it back. - And that's how I feel honestly, sometimes watching certain reality shows

I'm like, "Oh, what a good, like, I need some message."

Do you know how many times I've had to stop myself

“from DMing people on reality TV that are younger than me?”

And honestly, I have any, I don't stop myself sometimes. - Oh, I said, "I fully DM people." - Like, sometimes they actually need to hear. - There was one girl I wanted to DM a couple of years ago and just be like, "Don't let him gas like you, don't you dare."

But I was like, "I can't get in." I can't get involved. I can't get involved. - Not to tease, but my reality show that I'm hosting, they were moments

where I was like trying to make eye contact with one of the girls. And I was like, "I won't play, I looked at her and I'm like, "You're right, it's okay, right." Like, I was giving them,

like I was trying to coach them through my eyes 'cause like, definitely not part of the job description for me to take sides.

But I was like, "Girl, look at me, you're good.

"You're good, don't talk anymore, you're good." - Don't say anything, they're trying to get it out of you. - I think one of the reasons I don't do it more often is because I'm like, "Oh, what if she, like, "screen shots this and post this?"

And so, and like, "How many times do you write it out "and then delete it?" - I, oh, so many times where I'm like, "Girl, do not." Under any circumstances. 'Cause I felt moments where I wanted to, like,

write whole paragraphs to Whitney from, for help, how so I was Mormon-wise. (laughing) Sorry, slow, what is it? Slow Mormon-wise, this is secret.

- This is the secret of why? - Why is it so many fucking words? - No, it's really, it's, it's actually infuriating. The secret lives of Mormon-wise. I want whoever, whoever put that through

and said, "Yeah, this is the name." - Come to the front 'cause what we're thinking.

“- So that's coming out, but there's a lot of drama with it, right?”

- Oh, I don't even know, I'm not even, I'm not in the know. - Wait, I feel like it's coming out like today. - Oh, is it? I feel like, did I ever see any promo? - There's something weird with it.

- Oh, honestly, amazing, because...

- Yeah. - Oh, I'm gonna make breakfast. - I know, I feel like suddenly I have a purpose. I have a pepper-mised up. You wanna know something, though,

that I think is a good learning lesson for us because we are getting older and we do have these urges to reach out. We have an urge for human connection. (laughing)

We've been virtual for too long. - We forgot that we could actually sit together for this podcast. We haven't been in this same place. - We haven't been in the same place.

Starting in the beginning of October, that's it. We're back. - You're gonna be so sick of us at the table together. - We're coming to the table. - Elbows on the table, baby.

- We keep coming up with spin-off shows. Now, what was I saying? What was I saying? - That we're learning for human connection. (laughing)

- As we yearn for human connection,

“I think one of the, the one of the most amazing things”

about getting older is you get that urge to reach out to someone who may be younger, do it. Like I think that is the whole point. - So like sometimes when I do stop myself, I mean, I stop myself for like different reasons

because like it could get into the wrong hands. But like if I'm in person with someone and a girl bring something up to me, I'm grabbing her hand and I'm giving it to her straight. - Well, if you could change someone's life, do it.

- I'll get a lot of normal DMs of like boyfriend and girlfriend's fighting and they'll give me the scenario, should I break up with them? And I don't respond to some of them 'cause I'm like, this is normal,

you're gonna figure it out, I'm not worried by you. But sometimes I'll get like a really insane one from a girl and I'm like, if I don't respond, this could be the whole rest of her life. - She could have gone with this man.

Like there was one, I can't even like really remember the details but I was like, get out, get out. If you don't get out by tomorrow, like a message me. - I do get messages from girls where they're like, I know I should leave, I know I should leave

and I feel like they just send it to me. - Where I know that they're just like a fan of response, it's like, they already know they should leave. So then I just go, yeah, you know what you're doing. Like I'll just like agree,

kind of what's like, excuse me, where they're like, yes, you're on your path. - Yes, man, it's very improv. - It's very improv, it's very, but also my favorite though is people being like, I found this cat

and the driveway should I keep it. And I'm like, yes, here's an Amazon list for all the things you need to buy. It's really not, it's affordable. Like, just what food, I got you, I'll help you name it.

I'll be raised it, also a thing with getting older. You know when you're younger and your aunt says stuff to you and you're like, why would you say that? Like, do you know even though things like Greta family reunion and someone goes up to you

and they're like, can I sit next to you? And you're like, yeah, sit, like, I don't go fuck, sit.

And then I'm literally going up to you.

(laughing) - No, but you know what, I was like, is it okay if I sit next to you? - Yeah. - 'Cause this thing take it, yeah.

“And you're just like, yeah, why are you going to go?”

- You're like, no, you old bags sit down. But then I'm literally like lowest will be like finger painting. And there's like a seat next to her. And I don't know where it comes from.

It's like a gutteral thing I just go. - Can I sit next to you? And she looks at me, she's like, "Bitch sit down, I'll go fuck." I'll go fuck.

Which why are you asking, sit the fuck down? And I'm like, it's a little cave, anti-hand, I'm gonna make splap of swan next to you. - She gets out of my, there's a suit taken low, low. (laughing)

- I am every older person that asked me where it should.

I'm doing, you got so big. You got, you big. Oh, that's not saying that to people. (laughing) You were so little and I used to big, you know shit.

(laughing) (laughing) I think it low, this is a really good reminder for us that like we're not geriatric. We're not moms yet to be half to remember like.

- Get it together. - Yeah, get it together. - It was low as his birthday yesterday. She's four years old. - Time flies.

- And Genie's TikTok time flies. - Time flies viral. - When you're unemployed, truly.

“I wanted to text her so bad, happy birthday.”

Like I search low as in my phone. And then I'm like, oh, I have to go through her mom. I'm like, Genie, give me the phone to low as. I know you're her legal guardian, but getting past the phone.

(laughing) Also, she was just stuffing her face with spaghetti. I'm like, you're so, you're such a good girl. - That's so, such a birthday energy. - Because we come up with business ideas on this pod.

I was like, Genie, I have the best fucking idea. Like the best invention. 'Cause they'll eat their spaghetti. And then they take the phone, it gets everywhere. But this spaghetti, all over the house, they were staying at.

- Why is that? Do M.I. delusional that I think like-- - Your kid's gonna be neat. Your kid's gonna know what he's a forking knife out of the wall. - I just think I'm like so delusional.

Not my, not maybe my son. - No, how much agonistic of me? - Oh my god. No, I just think that my daughter's gonna come out. Like perfect.

- What are the classes they take to like know how to use which fork to use?

“- She won't have to take them, she just knows.”

- Like etiquette, she teaches them. She's a four-year-old baby genius. She's like, "Tuck, you're sure that." - Obviously, it's gonna happen if I'm gonna have kids and they're gonna make a mess.

But I just feel like my daughter's gonna be like the least messy of the messy kids. (sighs) - The gig last time I saw you. - Cannot wait to see what comes out of you

because there's a 50/50 chance. - And neither can I. - Oh yeah, I was like spaghetti's in the red sauce. Like it's everywhere. I'm like what if we invented a sauce

that didn't die close. And she was like, yeah, it's called "Pass with Butter." And I'm like, "You're fucking good." - I thought you were like gonna try and take the red.

I'm like, "How are we taking the red out of tomato?" - And that's just clear. - It's just gonna fall. - It's just gonna fall. (laughing)

But no, like kids' favorite food is like the most diabolical, it gets everywhere. - Yeah. - The marinara sauce. That's the one thing Italians need to work on.

- Passed it with butter.

I mean, I'll always come back to her.

- Do you put a little Parmesan on it? - Or no. - A little. - Oh, you, you, you drown it. - Honey, I'm using so much butter

and Parmesan cheese. Your head would spin. Yeah, it's almost like inedible. - I love that. - It's the best.

- I love that. - I don't know if this is on your algorithm and it's probably not, but I feel like it's going a little bit viral, but there's this teenage boy.

I think he's a teenage boy. Honestly, I haven't looked into it, but he said that he made like a serious video that he thinks he could beat like a chimpanzee in a fight. - So why are you trying to hurt an animal?

- All these people were like stitching the video like in no situation, could you beat a chimpanzee? And I feel like it's becoming the new like, I can land a plane. Like, you really think I couldn't land a plane.

Like I could land this plane. And I don't know why I, and I almost like my comment got deleted. - What did you say? - Like he made like a follow up video

of like, no, this is why I could beat a chimpanzee and I just commented, then do it. - Quit making tick-tags without it. And like the plot of Planet of Apes.

I tell them to watch Planet of Apes. The world is gonna be run by Apes, 'cause all the men try to fight them in Apes. We're like, what are you doing? - But what are the reasons I love

when things like this happen on the internet? When these like niche random videos are like viral, is because some of the comments are so funny. - And somebody commented and I don't know why this made me laugh so hard,

but he was like a chimpanzee absolutely park you, dude. Like, and I, you just imagine a cheap chimpanzee, like let me go, bro. Let me go. - He would put you in the ground.

Like there's also, what's with the violence?

“Like, no, men like, that's how they measure.”

I think that's something in their own insecurity to like measure their worth based on how strong physically they are. - The other thing I like about older men is like scientifically they're testosterone

is leveling out. - Yeah. - I would say I have the same amount of testosterone as any man in their forties. (laughing)

- You are just a 40 year old man. - Hi, Loki, I am, it's actually gross. - Speaking of testosterone. Actually, this is not a segue, I was trying, but I can't, I can't, I can't, I send it.

I'm a little nervous about the fashion show tomorrow 'cause there's something wrong. And I'm with you in public settings, I get giddy. Do you know when I get like, I look excited, I'm talking everyone.

And when I'm at the show, like I feel like I'm gonna cheer. - Dare I say we drown out that noise? - Yes. - We did as you and I, one word there.

- Do you have any rules for me, etiquette wise? 'Cause I don't want to embarrass you and front of people. Like I know I do, but you can't cheer. - But like if I like something, I can't be like, "Yes, honey."

- Okay, this is actually a really good debate that I don't think I've seen anyone truthfully talk about.

“- I think you have to go with the vibe of the show.”

- Yeah, it's like the way it's open, like see what other people are doing and follow the salmon. - It's more like it has to be an internal vibe check of like I could yell right now and it would be received well.

- Yeah.

- I would never even if it was.

- Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - Yes. - Like I'm never sitting on a runway show and yeah. - But like if you make eye contact

with a model that you know, as well. But I'm a clapping, I'm always clapping. I'm not not cheering them on. - Oh, like that's my bow. - I'm not like sitting at them and being like,

"That's your walk." Like, no, I'm cheering, but I'm not making it vocal. I think that's, I think it's a little like, "It's the sports in me." Where it's like, "Yeah, you have to."

You're like, "Yeah, let's go babe, come on." Like, one time I was at a fashion show and it was very, very, very intimate. Like, it was not a lot of people at all. There was like two separate rooms.

- It was a dinner. - Yeah. (laughs) - It was an event where people were eating. - And this one girl was like yelling the whole time and I'm like, "It's not even the vibe here."

- You could just say my name, but they didn't have a slide in her all the way. But this is the thing with fashion shows, the music's loud. Like, when we went to Michael Cores, it was loud.

I think 'cause it's not my first show.

It was just my first show. I was unaware that people don't react.

“- Like, if I'm at the Victoria's Secret Fashion show,”

- Yes. - You're yelling. - Yes, yes, yes. - But also, we don't have to be on a win tour. When people walk down and you don't have to like,

have a poker face. - But also, I'm rarely raising my, I'm rarely, name another situation where I'm yelling. - Like, you've literally yelled at men and there's not gonna be any, like, men.

- And that's it. I'm only raising my voice out of man. In any other situation. - I'm only yelling. - I'm not making no.

- Yeah. That's such a good point. But also, like, Michael Cores, this is the third year they've invited me, so like, I clearly haven't offended anyone. I love them to death, I love the team, love Michael.

Like, sometimes it's good to be in the background. - In certain situations, yes. - You're really good. You know what to step back. - Yes, sometimes I'm like, I'm actually leaving.

I'm just so in the background, I'm going home. - Sometimes it's okay to be an extra. - Before we leave, I just wanted to say, "Daphne is launching a St. Jude T-shirt because I am the childhood cancer awareness ambassador

and I've partnered with St. Jude. And we're gonna do a bunch of different things throughout the year.

But the first thing was Daphne making this T-shirt

so they're going, they should be online today. And-- - Is it a Hannity? - It's a Hannity with the St. Jude logo. And I just have to tell this really quick story

because I love Daphne, the label and the cat. Because there's so many different things that happen that are fun and just funny that you're just in what world. So we were like mocking up this t-shirt

And at one point we like wrote like,

"Okay, St. Jude logo here."

“And we're like, "Okay, let's see, like how that would look,”

"let's make it." And when we got it back, it said, "St. Jude logo here." - Okay, Nike once did a like tennis thing where it said like logo here.

And it was like iconic. It's how like the Mark Jacobs where they were like, the tote bag? - Yes, so maybe it's like, look, someone-- - And I was like, right, I don't know if this is gonna work,

but there were just so many funny things like that that will happen at Daphne. But-- - And that's a startup, baby. - And that's a startup.

And I'm so excited about this

because when I first started Daphne,

“I was like thinking about what charity would make”

the most sense for us to partner with. And someone, something happened and someone had said St. Jude. And I was like, that's so weird. I have an email from someone from St. Jude

for something so different. And it just felt very like universe telling me. So I like reached out to them and we partnered together until I'm really excited about this t-shirt.

- I love that so much.

“- And because it's the Hannity, let me know on the events”

I can come to to represent my brand. - In your involvement. - Well, that's amazing. Final question. Shout out St. Jude is a fringe for fall.

Are we doing it or not? - Fringe for fall.

I feel like fringe is always fall for fall.

- Okay, it's not, it's not two whims of goal. Like you know if you like turn and like hit someone with your fringe. Like is it too much? - No, you can do fringe.

- Okay, here's what I'll say. I haven't bought anything fringe yet. But go off, pop off queen. - Okay, you heard it, you heard it from the source. Guys, we love you so much.

Have an amazing weekend. I'll see you at the US Open. I'm there all weekend. - Today's the never. - Love you guys, talk to you later, bye.

- Oh, can, can, can. Now, now, you're a bit of a real... - Oh, no, no, no. - What's the idea? - I think you're a lot.

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