Giggling about handshakes, bandwagons, and New Yorkers

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

“We're all up to you, punk-kum, on the nap.”

[MUSIC PLAYING] [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] OK, we're doing a social experiment. This morning, we're recording Gayley Squad 8 a.m. Just for fun to see what happened.

I packed a whole outfit to look cute. And then I walked in and I go, "Not the vibe." [LAUGHTER] You're literally my mom, you go. So you didn't clean.

I cleaned for 30 minutes. I got this new maroon top that's like leather on the top. And then like, it has like-- It's not the vibe. Bring it on the bottom.

And I had like white jeans.

This apartment has never seen a fringe.

And I go, you know what? I'm going to stay in when I'm wearing. So we're sitting on my couch because pages are-- It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing.

It's a whole thing. And I'm a whole thing. First of all, Nick's just lost. That's why I'm wearing black. My black, Nick's shirt.

[LAUGHTER] And last night, poor grace. Grace had a whole day with me. We didn't set my ears. We were running around.

I'm like, I'm going to turn and look at you. The one comfortable. Good thing you're wearing sunglasses. Yes. OK.

So she--

“I basically after set my ears was like, what are you doing for the next game?”

And she's like, I don't know. I'm like, OK, I'm going to come over and hang out. Yeah. And I forget that I'm her boss. Because I'm like, maybe she's had a whole day with me.

Right. And maybe she's a one-her-like boss coming over. Yeah. So I come in at like eight, 30. Jump on the couch with her.

And me and these are face-timing you. So her boss comes over. I need shock and all that you guys are hanging out. We're literally on a sleepover. Yeah.

I order pizza. Mm-hmm. And then me and you are loudly face-timing. And Grace is just sitting there like, can I have a day? Can I have a minute in my own home at 10 p.m.

Like for a second, I'm like, maybe she doesn't want to feel like me and you.

At one point when we were on the phone, I was going to ask Grace to look something up for me.

“And then I go, and then in my head, I was like, no, it's 10 p.m.”

And she's on her own couch. I'm not going to ask her a favor right now. I actually wanted her to look up what the weather was going to be like today. Or my outfit that I didn't end up wearing. But my favorite thing is waking up and asking my mom what the weather is.

And I ask Des and he goes, look it up. And I'm like, you've been up since six a.m. Yeah, just tell me what the vibe is. I'm going with the vibes. Also, you can look at the weather app,

but you don't really know the vibe. It's awesome. I go to my window every day. I look at the girls on the street. I go, are they in jazz?

It's just long-sleeve shirts. Yeah. And short-sleeve shirts. Is it a light jacket? Is it a light jacket?

Tell you. Is it a surprise?

And you don't, I never look at the men because their temperature is not.

So if I see a girl in a workout outfit plus a hoodie, it's a little chilly out. Wait, I have to say something about the next. I'm not saying anything negative about the next. Like, I'm so proud of that. I really hope it's their time.

The Instagram videos of all the guys out. So I can't do it. I actually can't do it anymore. Everyone goes, this is their ever's tour. Like, all the men are outside MSG together.

Like chanting and singing. Just singing. Literally just kiss. Because they're fighting each other. They want to hug.

They want to hug. They want to hug. They want to hug so bad. But they're like, they are doing it in like a beat-up way. And I'm like just hug.

So the best part about it is Paige keeps now has nicks on our algorithm. And she's realizing that. Guess who's commenting on all of these videos. It's crazy. I'm like comments and I see your name.

I'm like, go next. Time, laughing. But like I saw a video last night when they lost. And the streets were crazy. And I'm like, women are emotional.

What do you talk?

But you don't, for wearing an outfit. You don't like it.

“You beat up a man for wearing an outfit.”

You don't like the word the problem. Or wearing a guy's name that you don't like. Because you don't like that guy's name. She's like that guy's wearing black and gray. And we're not wearing black and gray tonight.

It's like, okay Regina. No, but talk about me. No, literally talk about me and girls. They're like, I don't like the guys you support. I'm so obsessed with it.

But I'm also like, now I'm nervous for them. Because the nicks have been so bad for so long. And now they're like supposed to win. And I'm like, don't put that on these guys.

My first thought last night was,

or any of them pop a beta before they came out tonight. Because what is like, they're so nervous. I'm like the pressure. I know. But the gig there's were funny.

So there's some spurs fans. Obviously, who are gigglers. And this is a safe space for you guys. Sorry. Where are they even from?

San Antonio. We've been there. Do you remember? No, you don't remember. I don't.

It was a dark time.

“The only thing I know about the spurs is that”

Evelyn Gloria's ex husband used to blame. Sony Parker and his friend. And he's like a hot French guy. And he cheated on her walls. I think he was still playing.

That's the only thing I know about spurs. An athlete cheated. Yeah. My Nana was visiting Grace last week while I was traveling. Everyone's just hanging with Grace.

Look, Grace is like, look, we, she left your family. She left your family. And sometimes I'm like, do you want to rent a grandma? So I was like, Nana, go visit Grace. Calls Grace and goes, I made Pesto.

Do you know what Pesto is? No. She's like, you're fair skin. You have blue eyes. So you probably don't know, marinara.

I'm not scared of life. Have they? Did they know what little gleaming is? But she literally said, do you know what Pesto is? Yeah, better than baby clown.

Have I? Huh? Did they have those in there? You guys like seafood in North Carolina? Yeah, they had a baby clown.

You even put a breadcrum all the baby clown? A little olive oil on the clown. We call it a clumps casino. We call it something else. Where you're from?

And then you take the bread and you soak it. Wait, so Nana? Literally, it was like rent a grandma. Yeah. You know, when you just missed your grandparents,

and I was like, well, you're just out of my grandpa. I knew all of my children. She visited, and I was like, ask them about Brooklyn and in the, in the 30s or whenever I saw, ask them why you weren't getting bigger.

Why is she in there? I said, ask Nana about the apartment. You made a bread and biography. But old people love talking about it.

And it's like, then never get to hear history from the horse's mouth.

Yeah, her story. So that was fun. Oh, one last next thing. So I took my dad to a practice. I was not the game.

We just tried to take him to a practice. And we're in the hallway. And I see Fat Joe. I'm sorry. I know that's his name.

But that sounds like a name that we need. Like my old situation. I think my birthday. No, that's the guy. I'm on hinge in my phone.

Then I'm like, please don't text him again. So I see Fat Joe coming towards me. And this is the New York. It's like healed right now. Like New York people in my face.

In my face. Yeah, like sing. Good morning. One of my girlfriends was on the bus with Fat Joe and Timothy Shalvai.

I was like, oh, yeah. Where are you? - Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

like they've never been nicer.

- Wait, the other day I was getting off the airplane and it was me and Joe and some girl turned and goes, "Are you guys going in the game?" And I didn't think she was talking to me so I didn't say anything.

And in my head I was like, "What fucking game?" (laughing) - Wow, you're turning the guy behind me 'cause I was like, "I don't look game." - Yeah, the game was like, (laughing)

- And I was like, no.

“But that's what college is like when you're at a sports school”

every Sunday, it's like about the game. Like I was going in the game, everyone's watching the game, everyone if we're gonna lose is affected by the game. But anyway, so I see fat Joe and I don't buy this celebrity so you guys know me.

- Yeah. - You know me. I'm like this girl did a TikTok where it's like when you see a celebrity and you think you're cool because you're not speaking to them.

- Yeah, that's literally me. I'm like, yeah. - I'm so responsible right now. - And he's having a walk by Julian Moore anywhere in the city.

I'm like, is that like a regular current?

- He's out in the city. - I've seen her like four times. - And she's right here, so it's LUCIA. - LUCIA, you see her. - Yeah.

- I've never said hi once, but

- Wait, you're so cool for that? - Thank you. (laughs) - I've seen her. - Dinner, I've seen her.

“- In my head, I'm like, well one day when I'm gonna”

movie with her, that's when I'll meet her. - Yeah. - Why force it on her now? - Right. - Why bother her dating.

- Right, but I see fat Joe when I was like, it's the next, like I'm saying hi to fat Joe. But then as he's coming towards me and he's coming towards me with his click. - Yeah.

- Rose with a click. - Those two think he came up with the name fat Joe or do you think someone was like, great question. - Joe, this is the thing. As he's walking towards me, I'm like,

I don't feel like I should call him fat Joe. I feel like, I don't like speaking about people's bodies. - Wait, so then I just go, "Hi Mr. Joe." - No.

- But that's my move, you guys. I've done it before, it works, they love it. I did it to Rick Ross, I said, "Hi Mr. Ross. "Wait, where did you run into Rick Ross?" - Oh my God.

- So many of these DJ Khaled. - Well, DJ Khaled, his, he's everywhere. - That, okay, as someone who doesn't have a fuck about sports. - Is DJ Khaled a new one?

- No, he's a Miami heat fan. When I saw that last night on the TV, I was like, "Fake, I was like, why the hell would they let DJ Khaled sit on the corner?" - No, that's, well, maybe he just paid for it,

but... - No, but the Nixer have been really strict about who's on silverware and what celebrities are at the Nixer. - Yeah, you have to be like, "Fake,

“"you have to be like a hard-tracing Morgan."”

- Ben's still there. Well, 'cause also there's a thing that Jennifer Lopez said. - Oh yeah. - That was like, "Jalo, you're only in New York "or if you're born here."

- This is my thing with "Jalo." She loves a villain arc. - I actually did watch her new movie on Netflix. That was in your tongue like that. - What?

(laughs) - You were just moving your tongue, yes. (laughing) - Well, I was talking, I did not, am I becoming like an crazy old person who doesn't know

what my limbs are doing at all times? Wait, so I see Veggio. I say, "Hi, Mr. Joe." In front of all of his friends. - Yeah.

- And then I just go to dab him up. Pat was there, Pat saw it. And he looks at me and he just daps my ass up. And then, did you hug? - No, but daps are more intimate with it.

- Yeah, because we did a full secret handshake. - Yeah. - Do you know how to up? - Yeah. - I don't lose our hand up.

- Wait, that was really good. But your fingers are so long I got lost and then. (laughing) Wait, that was really smooth. - Actually, that's like a non-sexual thing

that I find attractive. Like when guys like see each other for the first time and they like dap each other up. And one time I had a boyfriend who couldn't do up.

No, he had never daped anyone.

Like his friends would walk in and they'd say like, hey, and I'd be like, I have to run away. I'm like none of you ever do sports in high school. So I have to go. - There's nothing hotter than two guys who just met

smoothly dabbing. - Yeah. - There's like dab chemistry between guys. - They also have levels to it. - Yeah.

- They're not pulling in if they don't know you. - No, I think it's so. - And then there's a sheet. - There's a snap sometimes. - Yeah, that's like they're real good.

- When they snap, that's fully marricated actually. They do a snap. (laughing) They love their secret handshake. - So, you see what the interaction went really well.

And then he walked off. And I think they were doing a podcast. And one of his podcast producers was like, my wife really loves you guys. And I was like, so I'm in with Fetcho.

- Yeah. - Then I just almost want to start walking with this clip. - Yeah, my partner's groupies. - Yeah. I wonder, like his friends definitely don't call him like,

"Patcho." - Hey Fetch. - It's like Lady Gaga, like, you don't call her lady. - But I think they're calling her Stephanie. I think they're just calling him Joe, Joe. - Wait, okay, so back to the J-Lo thing.

What do you think?

“How many years, or do you think you have to be born?”

'Cause you're born New York, so you're a true New Yorker. Do you think you have to be born and raised in New York? Or do you think you have to live here for a certain amount of years? - This is the thing.

I feel like she, I feel like she got annoyed that people made fun of her for the orange soda thing. - Yeah, she's on her own tour. - Yeah, her own revenge tour. - She's on her revenge tour with it?

Okay, I am a firm believer that what makes New York so beautiful is that it's a melting pot of so many different cultures that have come from so many different places. And that's what makes New York so great. - Miss USA.

- And peace. - And moral to peace.

But I always tell people, like, if you can survive New York,

like you're a New Yorker. - Mm-hmm. - There's a girl on TikTok saying, like the saying is like, after you've lived here for 10 years, you're a New Yorker and someone was like,

but there's inflation, so it should be 20 years.

- I think it's like, like, I think Grace is a New Yorker. - I think it's an energy. - You're a New Yorker when you're here and you're...

“- I think if you've gotten into a physical altercation”

at LaGuardia, you're a New Yorker. If you've yelled at anyone at a major airport in New York City, you're a New Yorker. - Yeah, but I also feel like this is the thing. If I move out in New York, I'm still a New Yorker.

- Yeah. - If someone else is not from New York, move it out in New York, you're not a New Yorker anymore. - Right. - That's the biggest difference.

- I would agree with that. - That's the biggest difference.

But like, I always say, you come in New Yorker's gonna cheer you up

and spit you out. New York is crazy. There was every block is insane right now. And if you can just like laugh at it and enjoy it, yeah. - I will say, I'm living in New York

for, I don't think I'm at one of them. - You're of 12 years? - You're New Yorker. - 11 or 12 years. Going anywhere else and being there for longer than a week,

you're kind of like, what do you guys do? - Like what do you guys do every day? - Like there's so much energy in New York that isn't in other places. - It's like so overstimulated.

- And the other place is so much slower. And it's like, oh, this is how you guys live every day. - Well, I understand why people think New Yorkers are assholes because every block, something's happening on that block that would be like headline local news.

- Yeah, but it's not always mean.

Like I've been talking about that. - No, not that. - The country where people have been way mean or to me in the middle of the street. - Yeah, New Yorkers aren't me or.

- New Yorkers are, you just cannot talk to every single person. 'Cause every single person's having like, the craziest thing happen in their life in that moment. - But if you walk down the street anywhere in New York and you're like, with the time,

like someone is responding to you. - Yeah. - You can just yell at and someone respond. Also, there's such a freedom that you can just cry and no one cares.

- And you go wherever you want because no one knows where you're going or where you're coming from. - That is so. - So you could've been coming from a gala, they don't know.

“- I think there's some places where everyone's”

where you're wearing the exact same outfit doing the exact same thing. New Yorkers are so right. You can wear anything. - A VDSM outfit and people are like,

"You know what? - She's going somewhere." - Yeah. - You know that feeling when your ponytail suddenly feels a little fuller or when you head out the door and you realize you didn't even need to do that last mirror check to make sure everything's sitting right.

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Or "où der dich die Straßen eine lebendigen Stadtstelle nern?" "Où der endlich den Moment genießen." "Einfach die Welt mit Tui neu erleben. Mit Tui reißt du so wie du willst. Als Familie zur Zwei-Pt oder einfacherlein.

Flexible, sicher und immer mit den guten Gefühl, dass jemand da ist, wenn's drauf ankommt. Gestalte mit Tui urlaub ganz nach deinen wünschen. Evalent rise, we're all of Tui Pung-Kung, und in App. Wait, since this is a sports podcast,

the next thing I'm going to bring up, that's like really causing me anxiety is the feeful world cup. Where are they putting all these goddamn people? Where is it? It's a New Jersey.

What is that met life? What? But, like, how are they getting there? Wait, foreigners go to New Jersey and makes me laugh so hard. It's like a whole crazy thing because everyone's like,

"Well, we'll just walk to the stadium." "Hey, we're on a New Jersey, it's like, "No." Wait, British people New Jersey makes me laugh so much. Anyone on a New Jersey makes me laugh. Italians and New Jersey, they're going to, like,

fight with the Americans. They change all the Airbnb rules. Like, now everyone's Airbnb in their house. Wow, I'm nervous about that. I'm just confused.

Like, met life is such a man. Because, like, they're like, yeah, like, we can do it, like, wool host shit.

We're going to go to Met on this before.

Yeah, like, we're going to go to Met life's house this weekend. Like, did you get all the necessary, like, drinks and, like, food and Met life's kind of, like, yeah, we'll figure it out when you get here. And it's like, okay, well, there's no way to park. I love that you're in all the New Jersey neighborhood, like, drama.

Are you going to be a New Jersey housewife? No. Sorry, I didn't watch in Rhode Island. Their accent is a combination of New York and Boston. I do also love it.

Don't tell a violin, I'll blow their mind too. Don't tell a violin, where Rhode Island is, the freak out. I can't get myself to watch the violin. I saw that intro, that was kind of catchy. What was that intro?

“What's with the music video that they do for the intro?”

Like, oh, yes, that's it. Is it like this with their arms? See, if I'm Ariana, I'm getting that taken out of my contract. But she loves singing and dancing. Oh, she does.

But like, if some of that's that we're doing a music video before, I'm like, no. Also, are the people like getting in a huge fighting crying? And then they're like, hey, we have to actually shoot the intro right now. Like, you know how reality view works.

You know, they just like, someone just gone to fight. And they were like, now we're doing the intro. Well, no, because it's real time. Oh, wait, did you watch it? The intro.

I just see it on my TikTok and it's really funny. Where the contestants in together, like, it was like separate. Then they shoot it separately. And then one girl was like doing splits the whole time. And I'm like, that would have been me if I knew how to do a split.

Think, God, you don't know how to do this thing. That would have tried to ruin our friendship. No, for sure. I'd be in a split right now. It's being in splits. I would end every sentence with the split period.

Also, do you see Dua Lipa's wedding? You loved it. I love her. Yeah, obsessed with her. Because I love people where I'm like, that's not a real person.

That's not a real person. That's not a real life story. You're telling me they met reading the same book. Yeah. Come on.

Yeah. Come on. I did see some like TikTok drama. I'm lucky if a guy at, like, can read a text. I can't even think of something.

It knows what she's saying is so low at 33. Reading the same book and they were on the same chapter. And he said to her, I guess we're on the same page. Shut up. That was the problem.

Like that together. I think that romantic stuff doesn't happen to me because I would be like, like, if a guy was sitting next to me and we were reading the same book. And he was like, ha, we're on the same page. I'd be like, get away from me.

Not to put grease on blast for the third time on this podcast.

But we love her dating stories. And I'm not going to get into detail of it. Yeah. When I basically went on this horrible date and at the end, he said one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

He just goes after a horrible date. Like, the worst shit you can imagine. He looks at her and he goes, we're going to make history together.

“And I think that's how I'm going to end every phone call from now on.”

Like, how did you not call the police after that? Like, history, am I going to be in a Netflix doc? We're like, I'm fucking. My skin is hanging in a basement. Like, what do you mean we're making history together? From now on, that's how I'm changing my signature in my email.

Like, that is. We're going to make history. He also told her, my dad is paying for this. Which, looking, I'm like, at least I know where the source is coming from. At least, I'm on this page.

Yeah, I'm trying to dig for like info. Yeah, okay, um, uptake. Seeker lives of Mormons. Yeah. So, as you guys know, page like put on a season three, where you had season three?

Who knows? Who knows? But I was like, okay, I'll just start. You watched it in like a crazy format. A crazy format because I felt like if I watched it this way, I wasn't actually watching it.

Yeah, you're tricking yourselves. So I was like, I'll watch. I'll finish watching what page put on. Right. And then I was like, well, that doesn't make sense. So I'm going to go to the season before that.

Yeah. So I finally last night was like, okay, none of this makes sense.

'Cause I'm watching it in reverse. Let me go see them one. Let's just watch season one episode one. But I finally committed. I need to like write Whitney love it. A handwritten note.

Also, Demi is so hard to say. I want to say Demi so bad. Mm-hmm. But I think you can. I respect her culture. Yeah. No one was mad at Demi at all in the first season. Yeah. No.

No, because they hated Whitney so much. And then it, like, immediately flip-flop. No, it's, it's some of the best reality TV. And, but the edit is so clear to me. Mm-hmm. Like, there's this moment where

you would tell Whitney has a reason she doesn't like Taylor.

“Mm-hmm. And you're allowed to like be hurt and not like someone?”

Well, because Whitney really, she's not fake. Because they are all Mormon and a lot of them are married and love their husbands.

I think she takes her marriage the most serious of like all the other girls. Now the girls are like, I will divorce tomorrow if you let me. Yeah, which I, like, I love that too. I love that too. But like, I feel like she, her and her husband, I feel like they really do love each other.

“This is a thing with regard to V2 as you have to be fake to make it work.”

Totally. Well, Whitney, she's like, you told everyone that me and my husband were swinging. He also was cheating on me. She opens up and does everyone. And I'm not saying anyone's good or evil or to root for Whitney. I'm just, when I was watching it, I was like, Whitney's also a performer.

So you could tell that she was giving them stuff. Like, given the fruity pebbles thing, you could tell the producers were like, this will be a great scene. We don't have anything going on tonight. Can you just put this together? She'll think it's funny. She was doing her dinner. She didn't do anything that you,

you could tell it was like, for TV. And then, when there was nothing life ruining. Also, you know, with the episode starts, and Taylor Frenke calls like, I just hope that all my friends show up to this baby shower, even though I haven't seen them all in a year. And last time they saw me, I was getting arrested.

But I hope they all come to support me. And every three seconds, I hope all my friends are going to be there. I hope all my friends are going to be there. You know that the producers told Whitney, like, some people are coming somewhere, like, whatever you don't have to go. Yeah. So then, the whole thing becomes how horrible Whitney is.

And when he's like, I haven't talked to her in a year. That's weird. Yeah. And that's totally that, like, why are you just supposed to show up at the baby trunk at a, at a baby shower? You don't want to go to, and like, I don't want to be here. Look at how my butt is the last. And now in the evening.

And then there's a scene where Whitney and Taylor finally have their talk to, like, work it out.

And as someone who understands a little how the sausage is made, you can tell that the conversation is going too well. Like, they're getting along. They're getting, like, they're understanding each other. Like, Taylor's like, I understand I hurt you, and I'm sorry. And when he's like, thank you for listening. Like, and then they're like,

"Dimmy, go fuck that shit up." Like, "Dimmy runs in and then just starts yelling at Whitney." And I'm like, Whitney and Taylor, it was working too good and producers were, like,

“we got to create a fight. How is there not a scripted show about reality?”

Show. Unreal is, like, the one show. Yeah, but that's almost like, they made that show so serious. Like, that show isn't funny. Yeah. Yeah. And it is, there's a, I think there's like a to it. Yeah, there's a funnyness to thinking about, like, all these people sitting because they do, sitting around like a boardroom and being like, "What's going to really piss her off this summer?" Yeah. You know, like, it's going to really grind her gears. Yeah. So, but then also the fact that,

like, Whitney just kept crying and, like, feeling misunderstood and, like, running away. Like, the fact that people saw that and we're, like, fuck her, she's evil. It's just, the masses can be asses. You heard it here first. The masses can be asses. Well, yeah, also, like, there's something really dark that people that you don't know have the power to, like, change your reputation from year to year. Like, Whitney went from the most hated to then, like,

okay, semi-hated to then the most loved. And she's the same person. And she's the same person throughout the whole thing. But also that's, like, really mental. I didn't watch season two. She definitely stop talking, right? A little bit. Yeah. She was like, cool. Um, guess I'm not going to get to have my talk. It's going to be a thing. Yeah. I'm going to stop talking. So, it's really,

there's, like, such a lack of critical thinking skills for a lot of people. But yeah, I love revisiting

things that in the moment it was everyone joked on the bandwagon. I hate a bandwagon. Yeah, you do. I hate the second I see it. I'm like, I can't support this bandwagon. Like, I don't even know what happened. And I'm like, I don't like this bandwagon. And, but people, it's like, when people see a line outside and they're like, it must be good. I'm going to wait in that line and I'm going to be like, oh, those are psychotic people. Yeah, but I believe they've ever met

“someone that's waited in a line. Like, you see a bandwagon in our line? Think twice. Okay. That's how”

we're going to wait. I have a question for you because this came up and just like, my daily life last night. And then I was like, oh, I wonder what Hannah does. How do you organize like your day? Like, you're, to do list for the day. I have a note tap. That's a shit to do. Like, the iPhone notes app or you have a separate note tap. Okay. And you do have like a, an every day one. I have, like, this is it to do list. And it's like just for today. It's like my life one that I'm like,

because every day I try to get it down to zero. Oh, wow. But the truth is,

we're trying to get that list down to zero. How many things are on that list, we know? What's

what's like, you're like, oh, yeah, then there's a to do now. Oh, my. Then there's a different from the

“other to do. Yeah, long to do, then you have like, I've actually had to do it to do it. Honestly,”

because my specials out, I'm kind of living like, fuck my day today. I'm like, we just got a focus on the special right now. Okay. But my to do list on my phone runs my life. How do you know what, like, what, how do you do your calendar? Um, like, my calendar also where you're saying, do you know, does doesn't use a calendar on his phone? No. Also, I have to apologize. I was mad. He's not a boomer. He's a, a gen X. I apologize. It just boomers way funnier to say. Oh, my God. That's giving,

I'm not Gen Z. I'm shocked. No, people were like, your husband's not a boomer, and I was like,

he's my husband. I'll talk shit when I want to. But, um, whatever, both of them. He just

has a house in crisis. So does it really matter? I said, you don't use your Google calendar, and he's like, I'm like, how do you know what's happening two weeks from now? And he points to

“his head. That's how people used to do stuff back then, though. No, people always had calendars,”

even though it was a native phone. He's not, I don't know how he does anything. If I don't write a doubt, it doesn't happen. It's not happening. I have my calendar. My calendar runs everything. But my problem is if I don't look at it in the morning, like, I'm fucked. Okay, my notes app is also. I treated us like a manifestation. So, like, so I don't have it. It doesn't say to do list. It says, I get to. Like, I get to do this. Isn't that? You told me to do that. I made it up in my head.

Did you really? Yeah. And then each day, I have it. Like, my schedule and then right to do list. Someone DM me and said, I think you might be a little OCD, and I said, hmm, let me look into it. Because that's on your list too. So, I think I, I think I get to be OCD. I think I could be slightly a little OCD. Well, look, not to overanalyze, but that's a, we've made a whole career. Please, I actually have been getting less and less anxious. Like, I socialized all weekend and I didn't

give a buck. But this is the thing with OCD. It's of, it all's combined. So, like, you can get OCD, because you're trying to control the future, which is a symptom of anxiety. Like, I would be OCD

“when I had a tennis match. I would have to, like, do all these, like, I think I didn't want to do.”

I'd make myself do. Or, like, someone would like drop trash, like across the street. And I'd be, like, I'm going to go pick that up because I'll win my match if I do. Like, I would, like, do, like, that's almost like a superstitious. It was superstitious. But, like, if I didn't do it, I'd feel like, interesting. Do you get that when you are going to do your special? Or, like, I get a little, a little freaky, like, right before a big event where I'm just, like, we have to do random tasks.

I, I just, like, sometimes I'll do things I don't want to do because I think it's good karma.

Something a man's never said. Sometimes I do things I don't want to do. I've never done that.

Yeah, I get that. But anyway, I get to, I get to do stuff. I get to. And I think that's a really beautiful. Do you know if you start a book called, I get to, you could be Mel Robbins. Actually, she's going to steal it. She's ready, we're in it. The new, I get to let them is, I get to, I get to be annoyed today. Like, I get to be, I get to be pissed off. Yeah, I get to, be irritated. Like this morning, I was, like, anxious. And then I was like, why?

I get to, like, go hang out with my friend in her dirty apartment on her couch. Yeah. Would just be my, you loves loving it up with me? I love it because I can, like, there's a pressure. My dad visited me yesterday. And he's, we, like, eight Chinese food. And then he started to, like, clean it up. And I was like, hey, it's cool. Children have to do it here. I go mom's not here. I'm out for the night. It's your way. It's the kid to play. You are the definition of that, like at 34.

You're like, I was like, no parents here. You can leave the place in the sink forever. Who's going to, my dad looks at me. He's like, really? No, he doesn't think that's here. Yes, I was like, we could drink as many sodas as we want. But my dad, when actually when I was with my dad, he'd be like, let's get ice cream. Don't tell mom. Yeah. Would your dad do that, instead of ever? Um, no. This was really scared of her. No, my dad's scared of my mom.

The only time that's ever happened is one time my dad took me to the gas station. And they, behind the thing, they had these, like, light up belly button rings. And I was like, dad,

And he was like totally. And so he buys me this light up belly button ring. And I go home. And I'm like, I put it in my belly button. And they're fake one. Yeah. Obviously. Like, this little, like, button thing that you like clicked in it, like, was all these colors. I'm believing in the gas station. And my mom took one look at it. And she was like, what the fuck is that? She was so mad at my dad. She told me like, that's a gateway drug. And like, she was like, oh, she's on a pole.

Yeah, literally she was like, you're never, I could never pierce my belly button. I still

think about it all the time. Do you mean girls were printing their belly button? Yeah. It's actually,

“like, really upsetting to me. I never crossed my desk. I was like, the owl. I, I think I cried”

about it at, like, 17. Like, police. Let me see. Don't pierce their lips. Do you remember the girls are prison there? Look, no, you are a real new yorker. Yes, in New York girls, they had crazy piercing. No. One time I did buy a fake tongue ring because you're a freak. Yeah, and I loved it. But like, I was like, I'm going to choke an eye because it was like a suction cup. Yeah, I was like, to one night out and I was like, is that who I am? Like, I want to be her, but it's just like,

it's not who I am. No girls would have like one lip ring. And it looked so uncomfortable. I was like, how do you speak? How do you do anything? But it was like, they committed to the bed. You know what,

I never liked. Like, I didn't mind a nose ring, but I never understood when girls would get

like their eyebrow pierced. Like, that always freaked me out. I was like, oh, you're mischievous. You're cool. Yeah. Like, you do, you stay out. You know, I was doing that. Yeah, I was 22.

“I would shave part of my eyebrow. Like, a line of my eyebrow. Why? Why do you have to be 22?”

You get to get to. You get to be any age you want. You totally do. You can be any age you want. Well, we are of the age we're now like, I'll put it out for it. I'm like, it's a little too young, right now, saying. Which is weird. I went to a club on Friday night and I was, and I put it now for it on and I was like, no, I can't wear that to a club. Which you wear. I wore sheer. I wore, wait, I didn't even tell you this. No, you saw my TikTok. Yeah. Oh, wait, no.

You were waiting to announce that you're women. And one of them was really, can you, I actually saw it. And I was like, I'm saving it. Tell me in depth. Like, detail. I have these black, sheer capries from Magda, but they're like regular pants. Like, they have like a zipper and like a button, but they're completely sheer. And they give you these like black granny panties to like basically wear with them. I lost the underwear that goes with the pants. And I was like, you could have

instacorted underpants. It didn't even cross my mind because I had to leave in like 20 minutes. So I was like, okay, and I wasn't there at the time because I would have given you options. I didn't have any black like bathing suit bottoms that were like full coverage. The fact you don't have one granny panty like I don't own one thing that covers my ass. You don't have any

bikinis like over your butt. No, who make some? I've never seen one. It's ever crossed my desk. I've

never seen one. All my underwear, even my period underwear. Sheek socks. They're like, they're gorgeous.

“You so I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? I have one pair of like Victoria's Secret”

where it's like a thick band. But it's still a thong. But it's like cheeky kind of. So I put them on and I'm like, no, my whole asshole is still out. I dig another pair of underwear and you know how like a thong obviously the front is more coverage. So I flipped it around. So then I had two pairs of underwear on. So you are basically thonging yourself from the front and liking my gilded teamingers of my vagina. I'm like, don't worry. It'll just be a couple hours.

If there was any time any time I was going to get a UTI it was in the back moment because I'm like soap my vagina is like suffocating. You get to have a UTI. I get to know. There's some girls out there that don't even have a vagina and they'd love a UTI. Wait, that's incredible. Yeah, so I was like so proud of myself. So I wore a Sheerca Preas and this like gold top and I loved my outfit. Do you know that when someone comes over to give me a spray tan, I don't have a thong. Oh, like I do have a thong.

Wait, the only thong I have is like a lace thong that I've never worn but I have for emergencies. I'm not wearing a lace thong to get spray tan. So I wear my granny panties and then I just scrunch it in my butt. Like I get myself a wedgie and I go, go for it. Wait, hand, I'm going naked. I'm not going naked. I have, first of all, I have a, I have a family. Wait, wait, I don't go naked.

I'm like, first you're a girl. Dude, I have naked even if I have my period. I've got a tampon in there.

Like, I'm just trying to hang it. It's two girls. She's spray tanning me. We know what we're here for. No, I'm doing no impress anyone. I'm a prude. I'm like, also, I'm like this girl's had a day. She doesn't need to see my labing. I mean, I do think when they're like turn around and bend. I'm like, this is a little uncomfortable. But it's like, you just met them. I'm like, let's go to his first base first. Like second base. Maybe like over time, I'll be like, I'm ready to take my underwear.

Okay, it's like, it doesn't even cross to my mind. I'm like, yeah, when you go to a massage, do you take it off? No. Well, no. No. Some people do. Take their underwear off during a massage. Yeah, because they're like, I don't want to wedgie when they're like doing it. Open your face now because they're put, there's no way you can be a thong in a massage.

“Yeah, because you're sometimes you've to take one leg out. So how are they doing no underwear?”

Well, then they put, they put hand. And I do like a dye misuse. Do me, but their hands are bigger. And I dare I say they are stronger. Don't come for me. I do prefer a Malmaseuse. It's a, I want a gay Malmaseuse. I don't care because the first time I ever had a guy misuse, I literally stopped and I was like, wait, it's so much better when your whole hand is on my whole neck. Like it feels different. Honestly.

Okay, everyone, I'm trying to say every female misuse, let's also saying female. This just turned into a red pill podcast, but every woman misuse is listening. They've trained their whole lives and it's art for them and you're like, I want a man. I know. I think I'm part of the problem. I get it. Some look, I think it's someone who goes to a man or bad. I don't want them to be good looking because I don't want to feel like I'm like on a date. No, absolutely

now. Well, I've never looked at the men. Like if you're going to be good looking, be like,

really good looking where I'm like, okay, this is fun. But if they're like just like normal good looking, I'm like, I don't want to, I have to say there are any women out here getting like happy endings out of massage. Yeah. Like, well, where do you think it's like really upscale places that you would like never have or do you think it's like country clubs? I always think

“it's country clubs. Women are doing it and I need them to start. I need like a secret anonymous”

board where they're writing where they're doing it because I just want to know what's the vibe. Wait, I never told you the story, but I went to a place that was um, CD once. Because you know me. I'm gonna get a yoga anyway. I'm gonna group on a foot massage, $15. Hell yeah, you're there. At one point in the beginning of the massage, because in my head in the back of my head, I'm like, is this a place where they could rub in tug? I don't know. Yeah. And at one point in the beginning,

she says, your body's really sexy. So the entire massage, I can't relax. I can't relax because I'm like, she's gonna give me a happy ending. The entire time, every time she tells me to do something, I'm like, and that's when they stick it in. Like the whole time I'm in my head, like I can't enjoy it at all. I'm freaking out because you know I'm a prude. So I'm freaking out and then I would have left. I would have been freaking out. But then at the end, she's like, thank you.

And then I'm like, am I the creep? Maybe she didn't say sexy. Maybe she said sexy. I think I don't know what happened, but I think I was like sweating at one point and she's like, get out. Like I was so scared.

But isn't it funny if she never was gonna do it and the whole time I thought she was? My God. But that part of me,

then like, it's a full hour. So then according to, according to my throws, like, I could do this, like, just do it. Do it. Do it with the story. They don't talk about these enough. Like, they're out there. They exist. Like, there's definitely like five, a street over in New York City. Like, I do feel like the better doing it. The girl should be doing it. It's just like harder

“for women because you have to like, mentally be present. But this is the thing you got to.”

No, you get to have a happy ending. You get to. Yeah. I think in like, hopefully in like, 20 years, the way you go to get a facial, you can just go and get a couple orgasms. No, I don't want to do that. And that's your your Catholic goats. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's bad. That's naughty. No, it's not. If people orgasm more, they'd be, Ilydu's googling on like, has Leila from warmer wives, had an orgasm yet because it's been three seasons.

Has she? No. Up. She's kids. Apparently she has. Oh, she has. I do the thing. Like, I've almost giggling about it and I'm like, this isn't funny. But it's not a joke. No, it's not funny. No, it's not funny. No, it's actually not funny. It's not funny at all. She's too kids. She's been married

take this toy home and she's like, I'm like, no, take literally. Take it and figure it out. Also, her exes must be so embarrassed. I'm so, like, if anybody, any of her ex-boyfriends, I'm what if changing my name literally has orgasm then she just loves making all their exes look bad. Like she brings a guy on and she's like, couldn't orgasm with him. That's the bad. I love that then. I love being obsessed with the show, like, 10 years after I found out. I was just going to say,

it hasn't been in one. It hasn't been on in four years. And when you brought it up for the first time,

I was like, oh my god, I don't care about this show. But she's asking her family if she could do, like, a sex toy promo. Yes. Early on in my career, I did a lot of sex toy promos. Because

“sexual wellness is important. It's part of the patriarchy to tell us that we shouldn't know”

our bodies and understand our bodies. And that's sexual wellness. And actually you live longer when you have more orgasms. So anyway, my digress. Me, great. Just like, did you tell her, like, you were going to start yelling out? By the way, do you know that there's N, NYX makeup came out with a butt mask, like, for your butt. She like, it covers your butt cheek and it, like, helps whatever women. Like, exfoliated or like, no, but like, the girls are excited about it.

Like a brightening mask for your butt. Yeah, like, not like a bleach. Like a turmeric mask, turmeric, and a turmeric mask, like, turmeric. It's like, Laura, it's actually a turmeric. Oh, you see, turmeric, it's a turmeric, turmeric, turmeric, turmeric, turmeric, turmeric, turmeric. So we can I will be there. We go, we're like, I don't know. It's someone, it's someone's family. We're looking at a hockey game where when it gets, we start fighting, we then go, just let him fight it out. Yeah,

like, you never hit your brother before or like, your little cousin or like, you know, because he was

younger than me. So it was like, I would get in trouble if I hit him. I think when I was like, really little, I probably hit him, smacked him around a bit. I remember once I squeezed his head because I kind of hit him, so I just squeezed his head. I feel like the last time I like really hit someone was my brother and I feel like I was like, if I had called brother, I would beat the shit out of him. Yeah. Yeah, people always talk about like sisters how they fight. Like, I was still fighting

to at home, I just like, my mind was way less fair. Yeah, like, I also feel like playing sports. I was like hitting tennis balls every day. Like, I played basketball, where I was like,

“you were getting your aggression out. Yeah, like, I, that's how I, I had to run hide hit.”

Shut up, drop and roll. It's a hit, and then make sure I hit a clear exit plan because then I would be fucked. If I was planning an execution, I had to also have an exit route. Well, shout out to Stuart Fullerton. My favorite joke she does is if you hit, if don't trust guys with sisters, because it means they can hit way. They were very easily. Like, I would-- They've hit a woman, they want to do it again. Like, run, unplug, like, any type of gaming device,

and then run away. Can I ask you? Yeah, that's iconic, though, because I'll never recover that

game. Yeah, because you're just-- and then you run. This is me quick action. I hope Taylor Swift does that to Travis Kelsey every morning. Oh, wait. MSG? Yeah, is that if that's not real? It's real. I don't think so. I have sources. Okay, let's take a bet right now.

“I think that that is going to end up being like a crazy rumor. You think that that's 100% true.”

Where in MSG? Great question. I mean, they're inviting like everyone they've ever met. She's going hard, but you know, look up for her. Like, she wants a wedding, she wants a moment. Legit's sickly, though. She does the errors toward, this is nothing for her. No, but I'm saying, like, Legit's sickly. Is it she's walking down? Everyone's in the-- Why is it giving? Joel, old Steve. Yeah, Steve, I'm like, where are they all sitting

in the stands? Or it's everyone's going to be on the floor. She's walking down the aisle. Or is she coming out from like, okay, these are really good questions, actually, because how are they decorating MSG? Also, is there a part of people that are just in the stands

because like a static. Are they going to put it in the ice? I don't think it's true. There's no way.

I think that's so crazy. Unless she's pulling a fast one, I think it's like a big hoax. And she wants people to be distracted and she's just going to be like in a backyard in Rhode Island.

“That's what I think. I think it's going to be at like a very beautiful estate that's like”

a couple hundred people. Here it is, because that's what you want. Because that's what I think I should have. Just a little key, but so she gives you die. Are you stoned to a 200 of my closest

friends? Are you still dittily? Having a wedding in Italy? Yeah. No, because you want to know

I've heard from like a lot of girlfriends who have gotten married. They're like, you have to have an Italian wedding planner. Oh, that's where you put the foot down. That's her, actually, because you're like, the whole time they'll be like, well, they'll do nothing. They'll be in the meeting lunch. Still time. Do nothing, they'll be like, actually. We're off this week. So that's crazy. See, you can't trust them. You randomly go to church during late. They'd be like, it's fine.

You don't need to chairs for everyone. They'll just place an Anthony for everything, and you're like, no, you actually have to call someone. Yeah. By the way, our Dunkin Refreshers are so, so good. I got the make-up pineapple, obviously, with Green Tea. And I got strawberry dragon fruit. We did you also see how the videos about the FIFA players being like, wait, the American heat is like so insane. Like they're so hot here. Really? Because Europe is super hot. Right.

“And they, and we have air conditioning. I think they just don't want to go to New Jersey.”

Wow. They're making a lot of things happen there. They're making up excuses. I am so confused why it is in New Jersey now. I just think that's like so dope. They do, they do a lot of sporting events in New Jersey. Yeah, but this is like so many

fucking peep. This is like so many more people. I've never seen you more passionate about something.

Well, because where are all these people going to sleep tonight? No, because the traffic in New York City is going to be so insane. Well, it's like they're doing the Olympics in LA. Why?

“I hate these big group sporting events. I know. Like, I guess they get to them.”

Yeah. They got to. They got to. Um, you guys lastly, we got to number one on Hulu because of the gigglers. Oh, hell yeah. Because of the fucking gigglers. I live for the gigglers. I die by the gigglers. I do everything for the gigglers. You feel like relieved now. I feel just so happy that I can put out something and people will watch it. That's, yes, that's not as arty. You get to. Yeah, you get to. I didn't even mean to say it. You get to put out art.

Like so many people put out art and they want people to see it, but no one sees it. The fact that like I have people excited to watch it and enjoy it makes me want to cry. It's so sweet. Thank you. So anyone, if you guys enjoyed it, stream it again today. Tell one person, a friend of me and enemy, an ex, um, a lover. Wait, imagine texting, just randomly texting your ex being like, hate, you just watch the universe. And don't be specific. Wanted to, I'm going to do that.

That'll be great. And he'll learn something. He'll learn something for sure. Um, so I love you guys so much for supporting our art. Um, and we'll talk to you later. Thank you, Duncan, for partnering with us for this episode. So good. And I say I was falling asleep for freshers.