Giggling about housewives, brand deals, and anal beads

- Sup kids, dude. - Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. - I'm gonna fix that shit. - Be campy man. (laughing)

“- I mean, the day just got away from me.”

- Hello, my groundbreaking giga-glares. - Are we on? - Oh, oh. (laughing) - We're on.

- We're on, we're live. - We're here. - Can I just do a quick PSA? - Sure. - 'Cause do you know we like to keep it real?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - We're, like, like, like, we're vulnerable and real. - I just know that most people when they stop listening to the pod,

they think to themselves, has perfect.

Like, that's the first thing you get for,

you're like, "Oh my God, I had it." It's a perfect show. - She's aspirational, yet inspirational. (laughing) She's a red head, yet also a Bruno.

(laughing) - How does she do it? - I just should do it. - Believe in yourself. But I just want you guys to know,

I'm actually not perfect. I failed my invisible line. Like, I had it perfect at one point and everyone was like, "Hey, you're so perfect." And then I actually felt like I wasn't relatable

'cause my teeth were really fucking straight. So then this last year, I haven't done it.

“And I think I have to do the, like, walk a shame”

where I should go back to the dentist and be like, "Hey, how you all doing?" And I have to start in this line over 'cause the bottom of my teeth look like cemetery that is a bad cemetery.

- I hate to kick you when you're down. I truly, truly do. - So I don't know 'cause you're on your ship. - Well, I just finished and I'm gonna go get my permanent rich hander next week

'cause I can't be trusted to wear it every single night. - I can't either, especially below the travel. - So I'm gonna get a permanent one on my bottom teeth and then I'm gonna see if I'm gonna do and visualize for my top.

'Cause I had to separate them. - Are you more of an invisible, I'm top or bottom? (laughing)

- I want bottom first, which I wonder what that says about me.

- I know. - I'm a chaotic bottom. - And that doesn't want to. - We are messy's auto. - I'm just drawing bottom. - We are messy bottoms.

- We're matching. - We are. - Well, how do you say it? - You guys, when you hang out the amount of time that me and you hang out and talk,

you do start getting the same words. - Sorry, my Instagram just gave me an alert that they are in fact gonna send me a different toaster. - Are you okay with that? - I'm okay with that, but I'm on a real toast.

I don't care because I'm on like a real, you know what I'm toasting. - My meal right now, this is gonna be disgusting and I'm eating over and over again. - You're right, but fixation meal?

- Tuning sandwich. - Okay, you're speaking to the tuna queen. - I am not. - But only homemade, not ordering tuna. - How much mayo are you putting in it?

- I'm moderate to, I'm heavier with rather than being light. - Are you doing mustard? - No, are you doing relish? - No. - No relish.

- Are you doing lemon? - I'm doing tuna. - mayo, onion powder, garlic powder, salt pepper. - Oh. - Cheese on my sandwich, but I don't toast the bread

because the tuna's, I don't like a tuna melt. - Hot tuna is really good. - And then I'm doing lays ruffles. - How should I respond to my legs? - Then I'm doing sweet no, I'm side.

- All right. - Then I'm doing American cheese on it though. Then I'm doing sweet baby petite pickles. - If you only fuck around with like dill pickles and you're not in the sweet baby pickle game,

you're really good. - You just love them 'cause they're little in cute. Not 'cause they actually taste better. - They're sweet, they're cute. - I can't.

- Show me also, you would use American cheese. - Love it, craft single, right, from the fucking plastic. - American cheese is so American. Like you know all the other cheese, look at it

and they're like, you're so annoying. - Well they're like you're made in a lab. - You're made in lab, you're fake, you are like the loudest, but you don't actually taste better. - We have to see nothing where people are trying to be like,

I can tell if you're in IVF baby. They're saying that they're prettier. So like, upside, but yeah, I'm really, but I don't think that's true.

- I just know that I never looked at someone

and been like made in a petri dish. - Growing up in Park Soap Brooklyn, there were a lot of power lesbians and just like power women who had huge careers and then at 42 did IVF and they all popped out like twins.

It was so chic. They just popped out twins one. So I had a lot of twins friends and I'm like, who's your mom and they'd say like the fucking founder and CEO of something.

So I knew that it was twins, but I didn't, I don't remember the twins being particularly good looking. - Mm.

“- The twin listening was like, okay, what's with the gap?”

- I do find twins to be a bit freaky. Like just the science of it. It's like, oh my god, that eggs split in half and now there's two of you. - Yeah. - You really break it down, it's like quite weird.

But I do envy their bond. I really do feel like they're telepathic. They feel like feel the same thing. I think that is very fascinating. - I do also think people with IVF kids,

but like my dad, I'd say something like,

hey can I $5 for pizza and he'd be like, you owe me $300,000. He would just come up with members of like, the expenses of just being my dad. But like, I wonder if moms who were like,

I spent $100k possibly to like have you. Like treat them differently than like an accident or a mistake. - That is so dark. - That's too dark. - It's so dark, so morning, y'all.

- Because, okay, you could argue the same sentiment for like a dog you would adopt. First a dog you buy. So hell no, oh hell no. No, because the dog you adopt you're like,

you, I saved your life. - No, you love them equally. - Okay, yeah, just like you have like a 50,000 for a baby. Or like, if the kid did anything, I'd be like, you owe me money.

(laughing) No, like you owe me money. - If they're disrespectful, you're like, I literally pay for you and I your turn on me. - That's not your turn on me.

- Like you came into this world with value. Can I give you that value? Wait, I have something that's a kind of annoying me, but I don't bring it up. This is the space to do it.

- It might be a bit controversial and I don't mean it to be the person.

- You can never say something controversial though.

So don't worry. - I'm an all-group with you regardless what you say. - So here for the gaze. I want the gaze. - Oh no, I'm out of this.

I don't want to be a part of this. (laughing) - Okay, no, wait, just follow me, follow me. I'm so here for the gaze. I want them to get all the brand deals.

I don't care if you wear makeup, if you don't wear makeup, I don't care. I don't care. Do whatever I want you to have equal opportunity. - But with that said, something came across my desk.

Now you watched the last season of Trader, so you know Rob. - Yes. - I know him from Love Island. I don't even remember that season now.

- I didn't know his name was Roche. - Yeah, I just learned that. - How the fuck do you spell Roche? Anyway, continue. It's not in front of me.

- I digress. - So, and not to say that you can't come back

“from a reality TV at it, not to say that like you should be held”

to your edit in a game show, he won the game. - Why are you coming for me right now? - No, I'm not. (laughing) - Forgive Hannah.

She never had sex in the bathroom.

Okay, and we're here to say it here and now. - Anyway, we dig grass. - But actually I'm sorry. - So like, whatever, Rob should do has many brand deals as he gets fine.

He has an ad right now for Cosis. Lip Plumper. - And so, he wasn't wearing the product. - Well, no, he's not. And like, that's why I'm saying like,

if there's a gay man that's like, I wear lip gloss and they gave him a brand deal. I'd be like, "Yeah, I got it." A hot man selling lip plumper and talking about it in the sad, like the ad is him being like,

I feel everything. I feel hot and then I feel cold. Like, I don't know what the lip plumper is like, cooling and then like warm. I don't know what the objective was.

But I know we're talking about it. - We're talking about it. - But it didn't make me like go by Cosis. - Now when Sarah Pigeon did road, I thought-- - Oh, iconic.

- Oh, should I buy a red lip gloss with summer?

“- Well, this reminds me, do you remember when Matt Rife”

did an elf commercial and people rioted? - Oh, take it. - They took down the commercial in like five hours. They were like, what the fuck? Are there problematic things?

- Yes, yes, yes. But I'm saying there was the overlying like, why is a man getting paid to promote female beauty standards kind of thing? - Yeah.

- I have to say I am wearing Cosis lip. If we could do a little, close up. - Must be. - Don't end up like that. - And does he write, but that's actually

that's using the product. - I think I'm wearing makeup, I don't know. - I just men getting brand deals in general, gives me highs. - Freaks me out.

- I don't like it at all. - I don't like it at all. - Don't tell women what to buy. Like we're already getting 70 cents on the dollar, don't tell me to waste my money on more shit.

- If you're a man and you're in this situation that you are getting brand deals, yeah, I feel like they should be for you guys. - Make other men feel ugly and tell them that they need to color their hair,

or they need to use eyepages or pimple patches. - Don't market to me and look at that. - Also, brand deals is the one thing that women have.

“Like, that's why people hate influencers,”

because women are able to get generational wealth from chilling product. - And if you think about it, it's not like all of the sudden these companies have all of this money.

That advertising money would have gone somewhere, but it because it's going to a 19-year-old influencer in Iowa, people are mad, the men are mad.

because before you guys, it was going to big business.

It was going to, you know-- - Commercials, commercial networks. - We're now, they're saving money

“because when you get an influencer to do your deal,”

there's no production fee. - Yeah. - There's no hiring or selling it is not as-- - And it's getting more engagement than the commercial that no one was going to want.

- Getting niche, like, you can hit different niche market. - Yeah. - But Rob's, you know, he's having his moment. - He right.

- And he did an erotic a book. Did you see that? - I did not. - Well, I love Rob kind of was like, I want to live a slow life on a farm

that's how he ended traders, which, that was the funniest part traders to me. But then he did say, like, I love attention at some point. - Well, yeah. - Well, you don't, you don't--

- You don't get a snake tattoo. - That's right. - If you don't, like, get attention. - There's, like, a cast. Oh, I watch a real house size of Rhode Island.

Like, out of nowhere, it's just like, maybe I have a watch house size again. And I watched it. - And I have thoughts. - Okay, okay.

- Wait, what was I just saying? With Rob, with a snake tattoo, how would love the attention? - I hate it. - With the cast of a reality TV show.

And they're like, who's in it for fame? - Oh, isn't it?

“- Oh, there's the thirstiest y'all signed up.”

- To be on TV every single day. - Did you sign up for the love of the game? - Yeah. - I love how people in the beginning were like, I am here to find love, which is totally fine.

But you can find love anywhere. It doesn't have to be on camera. - Right. - And that word tell a vision show. I do think that RITV has shifted

in that before it actually was just kind of like crazy. People being like, fuck it, let's do this experience. - Yes. - We're nowadays, everyone is like holy shit. Like Cardi B was on reality TV and she won a Grammy.

Like Kim Kardashian's reality TV. Now she's a billionaire. Like people see that and no one goes on reality TV 'cause they're shy. - Right.

- No one goes on reality TV to be like, I just want to keep my private life private. - Right. - But you were saying you watched Rhode Island. - I watch your house types ever Rhode Island.

- Well I was on the phone with Lucho the other day. - I don't Lucho. - And so, and basically Rhode Island. And so we just like naturally started talking. - And he knows them all.

- Yeah, he literally was the casting director. - He wanted him on. - Oh. - So you are point, he would be so good.

But he would never, he wouldn't want that life.

- No, I think it's good for him to maybe just promote his great photography services. So the only joke I saw online was that they said every girl looks the same. - So Lucho, we'll randomly call me

and we'll just talk like business. And like, "Oh, come up with business ideas." And we'll just like chat back and forth. He's like, my gay boss, yeah, he's the boss. - He's a girl's gay.

Like he can't understand when there's like-- - He is a gay glur to his core.

“- So anyway, he was like, you have to watch”

real households in Rhode Island. And I was like, I really can't watch, bravo, bravo. And I can't watch how, so I like I just can't do it. And so I'm like laying on the couch and I'm like, whatever, fuck it, like I'm just gonna turn it on.

- 'Cause it's new. Because it's new. And like watching a first season of a show usually, it's not that dramatic because they've never filmed a TV show before.

You haven't really gotten it. - They're not fighting about who's more famous yet. - No, there hasn't been like rumors yet from like blogs, there hasn't been someone like trying and take someone down.

- Yeah. - Oh my God, well, something's in the water in Rhode Island. - They are so open, so vulnerable. - They don't know. - And they don't get, they have not gotten to the point

where they get mad at each other. They sit across from each other and they go, "Hey, is this true? "Your husband has a girlfriend?" - And the girl will be like, babe, now.

But like, maybe, and then they like go on with their day. And it's every single one of them has cheated at some point. It's one of the craziest shows. The one girl has a boyfriend of 10 years that she only sees for half the year,

but she lives in the home in Rhode Island. He has another girlfriend in Florida. They're fine with that arrangement. Now she's gonna get another, but very open. And they're like, ask me whatever question you want.

One lady goes on the TV and she's like, "I don't love driving. "I drove over a woman one time, but I don't love driving." And they're like, "Can you, can you rewind?" And she's like, "Yeah, I drove over a woman."

Next question. (laughing) - How more clear can I be? - Well, I was on for seven years. You had a waterboard shit out of it.

Like, I, it was so crazy. - Well, that's, you said that about Mormon wives,

how the first season, they're so just like,

and you slept with this person. You did this and they were just letting it all out and then. - And the viewer thinks they want that until then they like, well, the viewer does want it

until then the viewer gets mad 'cause they're not getting anything from it. And then they realize-- - Like, kick 'em off the show, kick 'em off the show and it's like--

- They're with the show. - Yeah. - That's why that person is weird. - Why do the girls look just like Dolores?

- Do you think they're all using the same injector?

“And that's why they're kind of like looking alike,”

or-- - Because they're all-- - Because they're all-- - Yeah. - I was like, "Oh, they're all Italian."

'Cause they marketed it as almost like a rivalry to New Jersey, I almost feel like Bravo did that, so that New Jersey got their shit in check. - Oh, like they're saying, these girls are replacing you. - These girls could replace you, figure out, like--

- Like, we don't have room for that many Italians on the network. - Well, okay, so they marketed it very mafia-so. - Yeah. - None of them are Italian.

- What? - Yeah. I thought they all were. - No. - I think maybe like one of them is--

- They're just-- - We're nuts. - And then Ashley, I can addy, is on it from like Bachelor franchise. - I watched, she has a crazy background,

and she was a podcaster back in the day. - And I've met her a couple of times at Amazon Live. She's very lovely on the show.

She was always very lovely in real life.

She is a guest at the girl.

“I think she's probably the one that's the most like,”

"Oh, this is like a crazy topic to talk about. Like, your husband having an affair." There's one lady on there that's like, everyone's like, "Your husband's cheating on you." And she's like, "I know, but like, please stop asking about it."

I'm just gonna live with that. Basically, she was like, "I'm gonna live with it." And like, "I want you to live with it." - She's like, "We're talking about practice." - And it's very fabulous.

Like-- - Which is what people want to watch? - They look good, they're full glam. - The mansions in Rhode Island are like-- - Lord, yes, their homes are nice. - Also Rhode Island is so small

that I actually believe that they are in each other's business. We're like, New York, people are like, "Yeah, we've been friends on like, "you'll never even hurt each other."

- Like, three of them, they're like, "I've known this person since I was four years old." - Yeah. - Like, actually in Canadi, I don't know if I pronounce that, right? - It canadi, I think.

- I just got PTSD for the first time, I interviewed Theresa Judice and I called her Guaditje. - Yeah. - And she said, "Why don't you call me?" - Same one. - Same one.

- So Ashley's story was she was on the Bachelor. - And she was really pretty and cute. - She did fine, and then she went to Bachelor in Paradise. - Got it.

- Meet this guy Jared, who is her husband now. They look related, which sometimes that happens with couples, but it's brother of sister vibes. - Yeah. - They hit it off, and then he immediately is like,

"I'm not into this." She spends the entire season crying over him. - Oh, she's cries a lot on this. - She's crying.

- She's always crying, but like, not in an annoying way.

It's so funny. - I didn't find her annoying at all. - You're almost like, it's like, it's nice to see someone just say, "I hope that she was who, like, the viewer is."

- She's like, "Girl, she's like, "I'm gonna cry." She's always crying. - And I don't remember if it was that season or another season, but basically you're like, "It's guy doesn't like you." Like, move on.

You guys had something, I don't know what's going on, but he's like, "Nothing doesn't like you, but like you deserve better at this point." Somehow the table's turn, and he proposed this to her. - Okay.

- And now, and he's from, like, I was gonna say, "Longa, no doubt." - Oh, okay. - And that's how she-- - And they're gonna wrap it on her restaurant.

- Yeah, they own some of that stuff. So anyway, it is funny how all the reality TV places,

“I think 'cause of streaming, they're all starting to merge.”

And everyone's like, they used to be very like, the ABC people stay with ABC, and the, like, bravo people weren't going on the bachelor and stuff. - I think the biggest thing for me that I see a lot

in reality TV, specifically bravo, is like, "Where in the country, the show is based." Because it's as, like, the fans are quite different, the vibe of the show is quite different, and the conversation.

- Does Salt Lake City housewives and Mormon wives, like, have they ever intermingled anywhere? - Salt Lake City, and in the housewives of-- - And the Mormon house-- Sorry, the Mormon--

- Secret lives in my little life. - I think, like, in the wild, or on the show. - Like, in the wild, 100% of all, like, I think they're all at the same events. They all know each other, like, they're all in the game.

- That is so interesting, right? - I have some mental health moments since we just went through some real ITV. - Okay. - Do you want to do it before or after we talk about Lamar?

- What did Lamar do now? Oh, I saw a quote, but it was too long, but quote, I didn't read it. - So he's doing, like, some type of press tour for the documentary, and obviously every single person that interviews him is like, "Oh my God, wow,

Chloe, like, really saved your life." Like, she saved you for four months. She basically told you your dad not to kill you, and like helped you learn how to talk again. And he sits there and he's been looking at every single interview

or I'm being like, "Well, God saved my life."

- He's actually like, he's never loved her.

- Do you think credit to a man? - Yeah, it was, of course he said a man, did it. - No, it's actually really hurtful. Like, it's seemed the way he's answering is that he seems very annoyed that she's getting

He's re saying the story in his head differently.

So he doesn't have to feel bad that this woman, that he hurt this woman so bad. That's what I, that's my two sons. - Well, a lot of the comments were like, "Yeah, God sent Chloe."

(laughing) Like, God didn't come down and say, "What's up Lamar? "Sorry about those erectile dysfunctional pills. "Let me fix ya."

- Did God send you to the brothel, too? - Yeah, like, you can't pick and choose when God is helping you. - It just, it would put a very bad taste in my mouth, and it was just like mean.

I really just felt like it was mean. - Yeah, it was like you could have said thank God for her and also thank God. - I know they're not together now and I know they probably have some forms of beef,

but you can acknowledge that certain people were there for you during a season of your life at the right time. - Beautifully, right? - Actually, not to bring it back to housewives, but Margaret Joseph's my interview back in the day,

'cause she left her husband for her construction. - Contract contractor. - Yeah.

“- I had said, like, did you regret your 10-year marriage?”

'Cause she's like, "I found the love of my life "if I found the love of my life." And she was like, "No, that man before was the right man "of love of my life for that time." And then I evolved, and this is the love of my life right now.

- And I said, "Okay, I'm dead." - As a shadow, I'm dead. - Okay, well, take a stay in that same vein, Nikki Glazer, just went on Caller Daddy and said, "I don't mind if my boyfriend hooks up with other girls.

"I personally don't want to hook up with other guys "while I'm dating him, but if he hooks up with other girls, that's fine." - She's stronger than me. - Well, she joked that she was like, "I love women

"and that's ultimate. "I'm gonna see you." - She was like, "I trust her opinion." - But my thing is, like, if your man's hooking up with other girls, hook up with other guys.

- Yeah, that is layers and layers of psychology that I don't have the capacity to get through right now. - Yeah, and like, I have a full-time job 'cause I can't look at your location and then put it together from someone else's locate.

Like, I don't have the time to look into it. - I said, I would consume my day. - I think Nikki also is kind of like, I know I'm funny and I know that I have a connection with you. So if you wanna hook up with other girls, that's fine,

but I'm like the one you're in love with. - But I feel like if you are considering cheating, it's so much easier to send a text

and be like, "Hey, I hate you. I'll never see you."

(laughing) - Hey, just under reiterate, I hate you and I'm actually leaving. - I just, I don't love the idea of me needing my man for something and he's on his phone,

like, scrolling through other girls. - Yeah, no. - Best I would, I need. But Shada Taniki, she is a Hulu special coming out

“and then I think mine would come out after hers.”

So Shada to Hulu for putting the girls on and stand up. - Yeah, I love that. - And actually in like a deep editing hole right now with my special, and you got your hair dyed. Like, on my hair dyed, it looks so good.

- Well, you like it, okay, good. - You never know what the red hat, like the tint is gonna come out and... - It would show that. - At my hair, I'm getting a vise line

and I'm finishing up the edit. And then it's over for you bitches. (laughing) I was at those crazy 'cause I'm literally sitting through hours of footage of myself being like,

- Yeah. - I don't like that angle that's the right side of my face. Lookin' here, it's getting dark. - Yeah. - I'm at the point now where I'm like, Grace, can you just tell it?

But we did this cute thing where at the end, we did exit interviews with like girls leaving. So I'm looking through like all the stuff that you said to me. - Oh, that's amazing. - I think I'm gonna edit it and put it

at the end like with the credits. - Yeah, which could be cute. - Oh, it's like a blooper type thing. - Yes, yes, so that's fun. - But yeah, the editing of the special is

harder than the two years on the road. - TDS. - TDS. And like, there's nothing worse than having to judge yourself. - Yeah.

- 'Cause I try to come from with a film. - And even like watching yourself. - Yeah, and having to be like, this is good enough. This isn't good enough. - Listening to your own voice back,

you're like, great, I'll never speak again in public.

- My laugh, like when I do a random laugh. - My laugh in the background of Instagram stories, that was the first. - Wait, you know what's so funny? 'Cause I've gotten so close to my brother's girlfriend.

She's like, truly one of my best friends. And when I first met her, she has the most insane laugh I've ever heard of. - I love her laugh. - I like what girls with a laugh

that you're like, did that just come out of you? - That's, I felt like that. - To the point where I've looked at her before and been like, we're in public. Amanda, like, you're just,

I'll see, I'm like, finally I'm getting the respect I deserve. I'm like, that's the laugh. Anything less than that is, I don't want it. - It's changed my whole life, because now when I'm with her and we're laughing, whatever we're laughing about,

immediately becomes 10 times funnier because I can tell by the range of her laugh, how good of a time she's having and makes me have a better time.

“- And it's like, it's just the best thing ever.”

- And that's the ethos of Gekli Squad. - It kind of is. And I actually sent her a TikTok the other day.

I just had the realization that there's a girl in the world

that gets excited to see my brother's name pop up on her phone and that's discussed. (laughs) (claps) - And so I sent it to her and she was like,

"Dex, the reason was like, "That was so fucking funny "and Gary's so mad about it." (laughs) - This is like started playing and like immediately started laughing.

- I feel like your brothers have wanted you to get along with their girlfriend until they don't. You know what I mean? Like it does. Too much and they're like, "No, I'm getting angry."

- And I mean Amanda, like when we go on our family vacation and Italy, it's as if I brought my friends. - Yes. - And then like my brother's there and I'm like,

“"Oh, you should like meet my friend, maybe?"”

- Yeah. - It's literally, my brother didn't let me meet his girl at first when we were in college together 'cause he was like, "I don't let me just," and I'm like, "Okay, that's rude."

- No, 'cause he literally kept me away from her. - There's so many things that my brother will do and I'll look into Amanda and I'll be like, I would leave. - No, that's the one thing that doesn't have parents

or sisters. I have no one to look at and be like, "Okay, you wanna hear something beautiful?" - It's like such a mental health moment. I truly lived my whole life being like,

I wish I had a sister. Like, if I had a sister, I'd have a built-in friend

that always takes my side and always has my back.

And now to think that one day I will have Amanda as my sister, like, I already heard her as my sister and law, like, if we're somewhere, like, "Oh, that's like whatever." And so it's kind of beautiful

that I'm getting given a sister. - It's just crazy, like, I haven't been here your entire life. It's crazy how you erase me from history. Like, I first, I was like, "This is cute."

And then I was like, "This is actually insulting "and, like, attacking me." - You have a sister-in-law. - She's an Indiana. - Yeah, I know, sorry.

- Okay. - Well, I'm like, I'll accept to make it into the sisterhood. - Yeah, we don't live in the same city. So it's not like, we're... - Okay, just, you throw around best friend sister

- I hate best friend, I said it earlier.

“- Wait, Grace, can you please rewind, rewind the tapes?”

What did we do on the tape? - 'Cause I've gotten so close to my brother's girlfriend. She's like, truly one of my best friends. - Okay, now we'll continue. Okay, are you done trying to make me jealous?

- Also, I will say dating a guy that has... - You love them, too. - I love them, too. I'm like, "Oh, wow, now I have lost my sister." - Like, I want you to get along with other people,

but I feel like sometimes you're just, like,

- I never had a connection with the girl like this,

and I love her and she's here for me. I'm like, "Who am I to you?" - Oh, sometimes, like, literally, like, soul. - It's like a tear, 'cause, good. - Thank you.

- They're on a different level. Do you know how many times I had to tell my other friends? Like, is she really your best friend? I'm like, "No, I don't even know her." - I'm such a Leo.

- Like, Stephanie will at least once every two months be like, "Who is your best friend, though, for real?" - Yeah, and you'd be lying through your teeth to these bitches. - You look so weird. - Well, when you're like, Stephanie's wedding year,

I, you're looking available. - But I'm not, can I just say, I'm actually not a jealous friend. - No, you're really not. I know, this is a bit.

- We're having fun. - We're having fun. - We're having fun.

“- Also, Stephanie and I talk shit about you behind your back.”

- And she lives in Colorado, so I talk shit about it all the time. I'm like, "I literally have a panic attack "when I touch it on in your state. "That's why I can't go visit her." - No, I'm actually so annoying though,

whenever I hang out with someone, they do something, it's like, similar to you. I'm like, "Ah, Paige does that." They're like, "You're stupid." Like, "Stop."

Well, one more thing about Mormons. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Whitney, love it, is now like a chief creative officer, which I'm obsessed with that title,

like put that on everyone for the soda drink in New York. - Genius. - Genius. - I didn't know what the soda thing is. - The dirty soda.

- The dirty soda, they put like milk in it? - They're putting everything in it. - Like everything in it. - The soda isn't bad enough. Let's put more shit to give you that.

- Yeah, they're at, yeah. Like it's almost like, if you were to get like a vanilla Coke, like they're adding hazelnut and they're like, - It's, if you're a kid and your mom was like, "Hey, go fuck around at the soda station."

- Well, I think you want. - Is it like chocolate milk? - They don't know what I'm talking about. - Well, this is the thing. They don't drink coffee in Mormon culture,

but then they're allowed to do Adderall, which is just nerdy cocaine. - Yeah. - So like, I don't know what the soda has caffeine. - As a girl with a sensitive stomach,

like one of those sodas would do more damage than like me taking like LSD. Like, I would bash my head through while I'd be puking out of both holes. - You couldn't ever do, well, you don't like,

- And I don't like soda. - You don't do carbonation. Sometimes you'll do carbonation, but you really don't. - With peer pressure, I will.

- Right. Like, if you're with a new person, they're like, "Wait, I Coke, do you want one?" I'll be like, "Yeah." (laughing)

(laughing) I can hang. And then I'm like, " Spicy spicy spicy spicy spicy spicy spicy." - One of my favorite things to brag about you is that your body is so pure.

- And like, not your mind.

- I like you never met Hannah,

but she's never done a drug. She rarely drinks soda. - Hate cigarette. - That's why your parents love me. - I like obsessed with--

- Your parents really hang out with Hannah Moore. - Yeah. - That's why you don't age. That's why your skin is always glowing. - Oh, stop.

- Now you stop. - No, I don't know. - No, I don't know. - I don't have other people's mind. (laughing)

- Okay. - Look how telepathically are. We both showed up in multicolored track jacket. - Oh, yeah, where's yours from? - Thin, they're all.

- That is so sickening. - So sickening. - I love that when-- - My glasses are so cool. - My glasses are so cool.

- So good. - So good. I'm wearing my Louis Vuitton Indian Wells Limited Edition. - That is cute.

“- Oh, are you interested in what is going on this week?”

Got the golf stuff? 'Cause I know you love old man stuff. - Yeah. - I love retired sports. It's very powerful.

I think more girls should get involved in retired activities. - Yeah. - It channels rich men and men and that's our vibe. I'm watching tennis. I want golf comes on, I'll watch it.

- Oh, they are not like. - Oh, the like masters is something? - I haven't. - I don't know, there's like a masters every week. All I know is Tiger Woods is he's out in these streets.

- That's the only reason I knew about it was because I kept getting Tiger Woods videos and it's like, I think he was supposed to be in it. - Speaking of sports and algorithms that haven't hit us. Oh, my God, there's a chest documentary.

- Oh. - Something that you were way too beautiful and cool to ever click on, not me though. No, it's called Untold Chest. And it's basically a fight with a bunch of geniuses.

And apparently it happened a couple years ago

but never came across my algorithm.

Like, this was like, yeah, you didn't hear about this. I'm like, it never got to like, Gen Z millennial girl. - Yeah, TikTok. - I love that you put in Gen Z.

- I'm sorry, never got to have some young either. - Sorry, you're almost, you're 35. - We, when you say it like that, it's crazy but I am Gen Alpha. - You know, like, we should be mother.

Society is like, have a baby. - No, I'm too, we're like, have a kid. - And like, we're in track jackets. - Yeah. - I am at the point though.

I did see someone wear something the other day

“and I was like, oh, like, where's the rest of her alpha?”

And I'm like, I'm turning into my dad. You know, like, I'm a single day I have impending doom that like, I'm not evolving as a person. And I think that is just being a woman in society. Like every day I'm like, am I evolved?

- See, I'm like, I'm evolving too much. I miss the bliss. I miss the lack of self-awareness. But this chest documentary is so good. Okay, so there's this guy named Magnus.

- Of course. - Of course. - Because in what situation? - He's literally-- - He's literally anything else.

- It's literally, it doesn't. Magnus is the greatest chest time. They have all time also like he's the nerdyest nerd but like happens to be like kind of Disney Prince hot, like accidentally.

Like he has like kind of a flown his hair and like accidentally really hot. Like when he speaks, you're like,

oh, this guy's never spoken to anyone but a rock.

- Yeah. - But what? A rock is a stop. Stop. - You're like, stop.

- Your hot girl brings malfunctioning, you're like, what? (laughing) So okay, so he's beating everyone. Like he'll beat people blindfolded. How old is he?

He's now like in his 30s. - Okay. - And he has been beating people since he's like 10. He's ranked number. There's a whole ranking system.

Okay, so then there's this thing called chest.com. We're all of them trained. Like chest.com is where they all are. They also stream it so you could watch people playing chest. Never cross my desk.

I know where the stuff was going, no. This is like, asked G if like a lot of chest.com. Guys, get a grip and you think of something better. So there's this guy that left his family. He's like, I left my family and went to New York.

They were in Connecticut. He already took a train. He took a train. He's talking like he left like,

“"That is the only way I want my chest guys to talk, though."”

He's like, "They must've done the courage to get on the L.I.R." (laughing) He beats $1 and he basically, they show his room. It's like disgusting, but like literally how my room looks. And he just all day long, like we'll go 30 hours,

just like learning chest moves and playing chest.com. And on chest.com when you beat people, you're ranking gets higher. And he's this new age of chess player where he gets emotional.

Like he'll be like yelling. So ranking people on this website and you can be anyone from anywhere. You're not considered like a professional. Yeah, but when you play a professional,

like to be able to play a professional, you have to be ranked really high. But it's like, they practice all day of these guys. It's just all they do, 'cause there's like a trillion different

Because they want to manage.

Like, what are they pulling in?

“Apparently, like, well, it's very, like, they'll go to Monaco.”

They'll go to Miami and do these, like, tournament tournaments. You can win like hundreds of thousands of dollars. People betting on chess. Probably, that's probably where there's lost. There's, when I tell you, I was like, "Where have I been?"

And, and of course, it's all men, which makes me weird. It's just gonna say, the men have so many opportunities for hobbies 'cause they have so much fucking time. Well, also, they literally said, like, in the '70s, like, women weren't smart enough to do chess,

but like, women are, sorry, we're busy fucking, like, raising the future of our world. Women of STEM of the week. We have a woman on the goddamn moon. Haven't said it's...

I knew for my budget is to the academy for, for getting to put the women on the moon in the women of STEM of the week. That was my bad. That was my oversight. We learned we grow, I apologize.

(laughing) - I learned these are laughing to myself last night. I'm like, we have a whole podcast up-limit, uplifting women of STEM. - I do have to say that.

- There was a funny clip of apparently like the president called them and he was like, going on like a long rant. And I was like, these motherfuckers left Earth to try to get a break from reality. And you're stuck on the Zoom meeting,

having to listen to someone talk for, too. I would be like, "I'm in space." (laughing) I'm like, "I'm how far we can, "I get a little busy floating."

I'm like, "Can I call you back?" "How did you get this number?" - Spam will find you anywhere.

“- They're like, "Hi, you've alone that you need to pay."”

- Send me this guy, is Chestercom realizes he's kind of like getting a lot of attention. This up-and-coming guy. - Yeah. - And it's like good for Chestercom.

So he becomes like a chess influencer where they kind of like help his career. And he yells when he wins and he's like, and everyone else is really like nerdy. So this guy's like, I mean, he's nerdy too,

but there's levels of more of this. - There's no levels of nerd. - The generations are getting dumber and we need to get back to classical parts. - Yes.

- People that listen to classical music? - We're didn't take that code. - Oh go. - Whatever happened to Hangman. - Remember when you were little,

and you'd play like memory games for fun? Bring it back. - Battleshow? - They taught me about adversity. - They used to be more...

- 'Cause we used to know how to lose anyway. (laughing) - Yeah. - So he then is like at the end of high school and he goes, fuck this, I'm going to Europe.

And I'm gonna just play a ton of tournaments. - Just like the Marty's Supreme. - Actually, I mean, Tim Dichalma is gonna play this guy in a movie, I'm telling you. So he, you know, people were really hating on

Tim Dichalma in like a couple of weeks ago, but I do wanna say like as someone who did watch all the movies that were nominated, I did think he hit his performance was really good. The guy didn't love the whole mood.

That's why they call you. - That's why they call you. - That's why they call you. - That's why they call you. - That's why they call you.

- That's why they call you. - How is that? That's such a good...

“- I think as I tell men to shut the fuck up”

to their faces. - We'd never. - That like...

- Pick me's never even come through people's.

- But I've definitely made a lot of pick me moves in my life before. - A hundred percent. - Oh, yeah. - A hundred percent.

- So anyway. - And I'm stronger than the patriarchy. I'm one woman! - It's a big, big, big patriarchy, you just... (laughs)

- Patriarchy. - Okay, I'll stop, I need to stop. - So this guy goes to Europe. And he starts winning all this tournament. And he's ascending the race.

- I would age as he now. - Like 18. - Okay. - And he does have one month that he like weirdly doesn't do well,

but all the other months he's killing it. - Okay. - And maybe we got the yips. - Chasm in it. - Chess is like very elite

where it's like people who are at the top 10 chess players in the world. Like it's the community, you don't just like break into, it takes like years. So these guys are all like,

who is this fucking new guy in the group? - It's so funny. - It's so nerdy. - It's so bad. - It's so, you need to watch it.

And all the nerds are like,

I've never heard of this guy.

- I'm like, I've never heard of this guy. He's the way he moves this rock, I feel it's insane, blah blah, and we're seeing this. And so many nerds and bullying other nerds. So it's, they're like, you're not part of this nerd club.

So he finally gets to play magnus, the number one guy. - Okay. - And somehow, some way, he beats him. And everyone is, go for it. - Yeah.

- And he has his iconic line where he's by the way, talking trash, talking trash, talking trash, and then after he beats him, they're like, what do you have to say? And he goes, I just let the chess speak for itself.

And he walks away and I'm like, this is like, rappers in a B-frame. - I feel like it's like a parody. - It's so, and I'm locked in at this point. I'm like, I almost said Tricksie,

which is like, out of two decades ago. Tricksie speaking through me, which we have to get to that later. And butter, just loving it. - So they play again, he beats him again,

but magnus this time is like, something's wrong.

He walks out and he goes, it felt like I was playing a computer.

“'Cause a computer will always beat a human.”

- No matter what. - That's not really scary sentence. - I know. - That was very scary. - That was so dull. - That's right. - That's right. - That's right. - That's right.

- I want you to watch on your robot. - I know, I can't do that. - We're gonna lose to the robots aliens. Happy weekend. - So he calls his dad, and his dad's like,

it's okay, you had a rough day, and he goes, something was weird. - It's magnus. - It's magnus. - Yeah, magnus is like, there's no way I could have lost at this guy again.

- I might like loving the name magnus. - It's now. - It's kind of soft. - So it's hot. - Like if you're really hot and your name is magnus. - No one's ugly and nim magnus.

- It's also like, it's giving like your grandpa has a library. - And at one point he goes, these Americans, they talk so much, sometimes I'm like, use less words, and I was like, that was hot.

- That's so hot. - Tell more men to use less words. - Yeah. - So he tells his dad, he's like, I think he cheated. He then withdraws from the tournament.

- Yeah, yes.

- Which is basically saying, I think this guy cheated.

So the whole community has lost their mind. They're like, first, the number one guy goes down to this new guy. The number one guy is accusing him of cheating. And everyone loves magnus, so they're like, what the hell's going on?

How could you even cheat at a?

“- So that's what, the whole chess community is losing it.”

They're all these guys on Twitch being like, "What can you possibly done? They're analyzing all his movements. They're like, is he touching his hat?" But before they go in, there is security.

Like they get scanned, like they're not just walking in randomly. And they're like, it's not on his head. He's like, look at somebody's arm, they're like, what could it be? Someone sorts a rumor going, anal beads. They go, he must have had anal beads in his butthole

and use the vibrations to tell him what move to make. - What the fuck are you talking about? - So that's what I said. - It catches on. - The fuck catches on.

- Every time I get this close to supporting a man, literally immediately, they show me why I don't. - The internet runs with us. It's on the Daily Show on a where I was. I didn't hear it.

And they just go, chess player beats number one, chess player with anal beads. anal bead chess player, it's everywhere. - And everyone gets mad at me because they're like, "Page, you think everyone's gay?"

- Hey, hey, hey guys, hey. And I'm like, okay, but only because there's evidence. - No, by the way, I do think but players should be more normalized in straight relationships, but I digress.

- Come on, please, come on, please, come on. - Oh, I'd be like, "Yes, I'm so sorry." - Not my place, but I'm saying in general, for the culture. This guy, then, is like, you fucking ruin my reputation. Whenever I say I'm a chess player now,

they go, "Are you the anal beads guy?" So he's fuming, but then he, after this-- - No, I'm livid if I'm him, and it's not true. - After this accusation, he loses. - See, people can make up the craziest thing about you.

- Yeah. - It can be so not factual, and that's all people remember you for, and you're like, "I didn't even do that." - The next couple of games, though,

he loses, like, really bad. So then it makes you think, like, was he doing something, and then he stopped doing it? - Yeah, and he-- - So he was saying my head wasn't in the game,

but he's getting his ass kicked, like, nine moves. He's getting a kick. - No pun out. (laughs)

- So, this documentary is basically

both their sides of the story. So then, Magnus is about to do a deal with chess.com, and chess. - This is the only type of, like, brand influencers I want from the man.

“- That's the only thing you can, yeah, have a deal with.”

- Yeah, be tied to something intellectual-- - Yeah, it's just a clump, clump, clump, clump, clump. - Lip clumper. - Yeah, like, be tied to, like, your profession in some capacity.

- Yes. - Not our stuff. - Gas, like, pipes. (laughs) - Plumbing?

- Plumbing? - Yup. - Fixing refrigerator is like-- - Tires? (laughs)

- Sement. - So, guys, I got this new Tony 20 for the new cement. - It's smooth. - Really? - Also, weedwacker.

Anyway, I guess.

So, he basically goes to chist.com.

Chist.com says, you know what? We have to tell you something about this guy. - You know what would be a really funny thing? It's, like, if better help online therapy, like, rounded up all the men on Bravo

and did, like, a massive ad, it'd be great. Or it'd be, like, proof that therapy doesn't work for everyone. (laughs) - We got our best therapy online therapy. - That would be a really funny thing.

- They should do, like, a sponsored series, giving therapy to all the, like, guys on Bravo. - Or just any man who does reality TV. So, the guy basically goes to chist.com and Chist.com goes, we have to tell you something

about this guy. He's been caught cheating before on chist.com when he was younger. Because you actually can just, like, Google moves while you're playing on chist.com.

- Okay. - Chist.com has all these really great algorithmic ways to check out. - Chist.com is getting a lot of unpaid promotions.

they were creating my life.

In, like, 2005, they were created and everyone's like, there's no money in Chist.com. Like, do you remember when everyone tried to get, like, Apple.com, like, it was like a lot of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bubbles.

And they were like, Chist.com and everyone's like, you're fucking losers. During COVID, apparently, Chist.com blew up. And now I'm talking about it. So, the good glue is about to play Chist.

The girls are loving Chist. So, shout out to my dad. He taught me how to play Chist, 'cause he said it was like tennis, 'cause my dad's a feminist icon.

But, I'd agree. - I've got brought to dance class. - No, I know, you're just a, you're a victim. Like, you actually are a victim. You could have been a doctor.

- A doctor! - We don't know. - A surgeon? - We have no idea. - Definitely dermatologists.

- Yeah. - I have 100% dermatologists, okay. - So, Chist.com is like, we're gonna use our algorithms that we use to test if people are cheating. 'Cause they called him once when he was like,

16, they're like, we know you're cheating.

“You have to stop, and he was like, I'm sorry.”

But people used to cheat to like get themselves to better levels, right? But they said he cheated in like over 100 games. So, this guy's capable of it. - I might have dated him.

(laughs) - In fact, he sounds similar. - What's his number? (laughs) - Can I say a picture?

- He does actually at one point say, "I'm not a good guy. "I'm not a nice guy." And we kind of turned me on. - Now, you can even trust the guy's header

in the Chist Club. Like, where are we? - Oh, my God. - What's in the Chist Club? - That's it. I'm packing it in, that's it.

- There's bad boys of after school programs? - Oh, like, are you fucking kidding me, Magnet? - No, it was hot, he literally was like, "I'm not a good guy."

And I'm like, "I've never had a guy say that."

- Okay, so that was honest and hot. - Give us the ending. - So, like, you're like, let's play. - Well, because now I'm like, so long story short, literally he,

they're like, we're gonna test if he cheated during these live games against Magnet. - And the vibrational anal beads was real. - They don't know if it's real, but they test it and they go, it doesn't look like he cheated

in the games against Magnet. So, everyone's kind of like, doesn't know what happened. - How? - How?

- Scientifically, with the vibrational anal. - Because they'd be like, if he touched a, who knows, like, no one really knows, but it would be like, if I do it right. - Or would he be somebody else watching?

- Someone else is watching and-- - And then-- - And like, - Yeah, telling him with vibrational. - Morris code. - Yes, Morris code through anal beads.

“That's what we do on this podcast, actually.”

That's how I know, went to agree to this agreement. - So far, from what the Lord wants. - The women's were right. Just drink a weird soda and leave people alone. But, like, we don't need to shove things of our asses.

- But I don't want to spread the rumor too. - Yes, it could be false. - It could be false. - He hasn't really won a lot since. So this, it's all kind of up in the air, I digress,

but that was, I'm exhausted from that story. Like, that took a lot of time. - Wow, I'm really glad you told that, though, because how interesting. - So interesting.

I also, can I say, well, I'm thinking about lip-lumper? - Yeah. - I hate lip-lumper. - Yeah. - It hurts.

- I like it. - I'm already dealing with enough, like, day-to-day. I don't have to, like-- - And for now, what I hate on myself? - Remember when I went through that phase

where I put my thing in my lips and that thing, and I was like, "You suck it." - It would work for, like, 10 seconds. - You'd look, like, gorgeous. - I loved it. - I forgot about that.

- What happened to, like, in a drawer somewhere. - It definitely caused COVID. All the girls putting their lips in it, like, not washing it. - It definitely wasn't good.

- Like, the circulation of my lips. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, people said you had lip filler, so that was-- - You lost it for, like, 15 minutes, I wouldn't even--

- Literally, 15 minutes, you're, like, at the cameras. I do think if you, like, lip plumber, you're into BDSM,

and I would never yuck someone's young.

If I feel like something is, like, painful, I feel like it's working, which is not smart, 'cause, like, sometimes I'll put something on my skin and it'll burn a little and I'll be like, it's just working, and they're like, "No, you're allergic to that."

(laughs) - It would go wrong, but-- - It would go wrong, but it would go wrong. - It would go wrong, but it would go wrong. - Yeah.

- To wrap it up, I wanna give us a mental health quote of the week from St. Dairy on TikTok. - Once you lame to me, nothing can unlaim you. You laminated. - That is so...

- Twippy, fun, forever. - I don't call people lame enough. - Yeah. - You know what, word, I wanna bring back,

“which is, I think, like, my nanopop would say,”

low-lifes, bunch of low-lifes. - Yeah, it's, I think that, like, the big thing in, is that a big thing in the town? - In the town, you wanna be proud of him? - Yeah, they're just like, they're low-lifes.

- No, she's a low-lifes. - When they say low-lifes, you're done. - Imagine the Italian just coming over and being like, "Hey, let us just better your lives with this food."

- The Irish were like, "Well, stick with the potatoes. "Get the fuck out of here." Anyway, we're not getting into New York City in the hospital history right now. We love you guys, thank you for giggling with us.

We'll talk to you later, bye. (upbeat music)

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