Giggling about mascots, milk, and Mount Everest

Frank. No. Frank. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm in the day just got away from me.

OK, people sent me G-words. You guys, it has to make a gut. It can't make like, Narlie. Can't be a silent G.

“It can be a silent G. There's rules to this game, OK?”

There are only silent G's outside of the pod. On the pod, we're loud, once. Girl, karma's real. Remember, last pod? I was making fun of playing tennis with all the old guys.

You heard your show. Played tennis with a bunch of six-year-old men. They walked you? No, they didn't walk me. But that's not a crazy here.

But I got two intents, as I usually do. I was like, Jeanie Durney's gravel. And I slipped a disk in your back. I thought that was like a joke. People really almost slipped a disk.

No, I slowly slipped a disk. And then, like, kept playing. Because I'm like, I'm not losing this fucking old guys. So I was looking at des because des supports me on the sidelines.

“And I was like, I think I threw out my back.”

And he's like, you want to stop? And I'm like, I'm not-- I'm not going to fucking stop. There could be like a chill in the air. And I'm like, I think we should stop.

So you were talking about people who always think

they're sick. What's that called again? I'm a hipocondriac. I'm the opposite of that, where people are like, your arm is falling off.

And I'm like, I'm fine. Yeah. When I'm working, I'm like, I'm fine. Yeah, you don't eat, you don't sleep. No, I'm like Beyonce on set.

I'm like, I don't take bathroom breaks. I don't take lunch. But when I'm involved, it's hard to get you out of bed. Well, because of what's the point? I was actually trying to explain to someone.

I was like, Pages, such a hard worker. Except for certain things. You can't get her. Except for when she's not. You're such a hard worker when you decide to be.

Yeah, when I've decided it's deemed worthy for me to work hard at it, I'll do it.

“But if I find it frivolous, I'm like, what's the point?”

Where I have like a whole deep inside that will never be fulfilled

that like anything I do, I need to like overachieve to make someone be like, she's worthy of existing. But anyway, happy Friday, you guys. How exciting. So Sunday, mean you were going to the US open.

Oh. Oh, can you not go? This is a bad time to say that I actually can't go. Well, I have to go to Venice, Italy. You're hearing it first here.

Wait, you've literally moved this plane ride so many times. So many times. So you've to leave on. I was supposed to leave on Monday, but I couldn't like get-- I'm sorry, I have cat hair everywhere.

I couldn't get a flight. So then I had to move it till to Sunday the day before. So now I'm going Sunday evening. I guess I have to go with this. Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

You know I don't like having public appearances with my husband? I know, Kitty almost just turned off my recorder. She's like, not kind of a pod this morning. I just want to apologize to the Googlers because I posted on my Instagram story, I got bangs.

And people lost. People were nervous. People definitely DM me and they're like, OK, we're going to sit and wait and watch. And I got bangs because I'm going to the Venice Film Festival.

And I'm not showing up. I'm showing up and Venice, Italy with no bangs. I'll look stupid if I don't have bangs. But then I realized I posted bangs. And then I saw this like Dali Parton thing

and so I posted that. And then I realized I posted bangs and then an inspirational quote. And that was on me. We took people were actually worried in your DMs.

So people that saw the bangs and then came back and saw the inspirational quote.

Yes, someone's gone. I mean, you must say, I got trickled. I got a trickle effective back because I got a couple. Hey, it's page OK. Has she been acting weird today, anything going on?

But my thing is we're never OK.

So I wasn't worried about you. I was like, we've been going through it. I didn't even think about it for a second.

“Because here's the thing, when other girls cut bangs,”

I'm like, oh, you should check on your friend. Like, they need a hair change. When I cut bangs, it's-- It's a joke. It's a joke.

Yeah, it's a joke. Well, look, you also are not trying to brag about you. But your face shape can handle a lot. If I cut bangs, that was multiple bad decisions in a row. This for you was just, yeah, you are whimsical.

We had the time. We-- we're are the bangs right now. Oh, well, they're like-- [LAUGHTER] Wait, bangs are so scary.

I just-- bangs are so scary. This is like-- I slept in a bun, so they're like-- [LAUGHTER]

That's like my sleep for hours. Wait, so are you keeping it after Venice? Or is this purely-- Well, yeah, I can't just then grow them back immediately. I don't know what glamorous people do.

Here's the thing, bangs are so fall.

They are fall. I saw-- We do want to say anything about Venice. Oh, I'm going to the Venice Film Festival with our money. Oh, body.

I'm doing my fitting today, so I don't know what-- I don't know what I'm wearing to the Venice Film Festival

“because I think they tell me, like they say,”

this is what you're wearing. So I get to see it today, so I'm a little bit nervous. I'm excited for you. Also, like, I feel like you live in Italy now. It's like your second home.

No, me and Josephine are about to go on like the most romantic vacation. Josephine's going. Josephine's in Copenhagen right now for her birthday, and she's going to meet me there.

Well, you guys don't understand the lore. But time, Josephine, whose page is number one favorite assistant, who somehow travels more than page? OK, listen to this. I recorded Morgan Stewart's podcast on Wednesday.

Josephine is supposed to meet me at the podcast. Something comes up. Classic. Something comes up, Josephine can't meet me at the podcast. So she had to give me--

she was giving me a gift to give to Morgan. Like, she had the gift. So I was like, oh, I can't bring the gift to Morgan. Like, she had to go do something else. So I said, oh, call Emma.

Emma is works at Daphne. She runs all of her social media. I said, call Emma, give it to Emma. Emma will meet me at Morgan Stewart. Great.

I get to Morgan Stewart. The girl comes down to like, get me. And she's like, is anyone coming with you? And I was like, oh, my assistant's coming. And I was like, actually, she's not really my assistant.

She's kind of like a second assistant because she works for Daphne, but she's filling in for my assistant. And the girl's just like staring at me. And I go, I'm so sorry that I just sounded like Miranda previously, that my first assistant is an incubus of the plague.

And on my second assistant, I said, fill in. She was in a way or the juice. Wait, it's giving us cold juices. The guy was like, are you guys summer house? And I'm like, it's actually a lot more complicated than that.

I was like, she woke up. She had something medical. She was really nervous about it. And I was like, I don't like calling anyone a assistant. Me neither, I find it rude.

I feel like calling someone an assistant is rude. Like, you're my producer. I'm like, you don't get it. She's like my sounding board. You're like, she's my sister.

She's my other half. She's my, my shaman of getting stuff done. No, Josephine is funny because sometimes someone will say something to me and she will not say something in the moment because she'll feel like it's unprofessional.

But then like like a child on a playground, she'll corner me and she'll be like, can I talk to you for a second? And then she'll say her opinion on something that did just happen. She's like, I'm just looking out for you. That's very surprising.

That's very surprising. You know how like in all the movies about presidents, they'll be like, "So can I speak to you for a second?" Yeah, she's like, "Page can I?" I don't think they have the your best interest at heart and I don't think

“you should actually listen to them and what they want you to do is stupid.”

But it's funny because her and Emma are both Gen Z. So like if we're on a Daphne photo shoot, I call them Gen Z minions because they'll be in the corner facing each other just... (laughs) That'll be in a documentary one day.

(laughs) I'd like the other day we were at a Daphne photo shoot and I just saw the two of them like facing each other talking

and I can never hear what they're saying.

Gen Z does have a tone like it's very soft. And they're like, "I'm gonna listen to him."

I'm like, "What are they doing?" I'll see you guys know I identify as Gen Z

and I don't want to lose our amazing Gen Z following.

Why is the guy that went on the moon? Why was I gonna say Louis Armstrong? Neil Armstrong. (laughs) Neil Armstrong.

He took one picture. Josephine and Emma took 8,000 pictures at one Daphne photo shoot. And there's not the photographer by the way. - Certainly not. They're sitting on the couch and they go,

"Oh my God, I got so many good pictures." - I love my Gen Z girls, but like when I come on and I'm like, I slept at this and you're like talking about your Gen Z minions. I'm like, "I don't want to lose the connection with them."

- No, I don't. - 'Cause I love them so much. Also, there was like this and like, we get new Googlers all the time and they message me and tell me like how they discovered the pod,

whatever and the sky was so funny, he was like, "Hey, I'm gay."

And I love the pod, I have an incredible idea.

And I was like, "What is it?"

“And he was like, "You should call the gigglers”

who are gay gigglers." And I was like, "Bam." (laughs) - Are you a time traveler from 2020 with Ben to an app? - I go, you're gonna lose your fucking mind.

You haven't hit that episode yet, but you were 100, we're on the same page, baby. Shout out to our gigglers. - Remember the segment, get a gay going? - Get a gay going.

- It's still in the works, like it's gonna happen. Oh, speaking of get a gay going. Let's do our first get a gay going. Blakely Thornton messaged me the funniest thing 'cause we were gossiping about something.

And there was someone who he didn't want to see. And someone was like, "Do you wanna meet them?" And he said, "I'm so sorry, I don't have a band with right now." And I think we have to bring that into the fall. Just like for any reason, I'm so sorry

I don't have the band with right now, 'cause what are you saying back to that? - If you don't follow Blakely on TikTok, he does like dissertations on just like pop culture,

but typically his takes are like always

what you're thinking in your head. He just like says it. - But like with a fucking beard. - So you're a weird, funny guy. - Yeah.

- He's like a weird genius. He's like a weird genius. And then the way he ends his videos every time, I just think it's so good, like, well, the credits. - Well, he also does.

- Straight in college and played football. - Yeah, his lawyers insane. And he was in tech, he grew up in Texas. Like that wasn't, oh my God. - Like give that a fucking movie.

- Design I have officially become the crazy old couple at the restaurant. - Taal. - So we go to a diner, we're in our, we're in our element.

- Like we should do stuff, and I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you right there. What time did you go to the diner? - So at 9.30 a.m., we thought we could go, - Oh, breakfast.

- Oh, breakfast. - Sorry, I thought you were doing like early bird special 4.30 p.m. - We would do that as well. - Joe makes me buy 5 p.m.

- Is that like a metabolism thing? - Yeah, I think it's like an old person thing. - Because it's like, well why would we eat late when we could get the dead?

“- Then you need to have dinner again at 8.”

- Well, then that's what happens to me. Then I'm in bed by 8.30, and by the time 9.30 rolls around, I'm like, well, I need to have at least two bowls of cereal to sustain.

- And he's like not a big snacker and you're a snacker, which creates a lot of energy. - And he's dead asleep. - Yep. - Yep, okay.

Okay, so you're at the diner. - So we're at the diner and we're getting the booth and we're feeling ourselves, like we're like, "Ooh, we're about to party." And the lady comes, the way she was,

and she's like, "Do you want coffee and look?" This is not a place where they have old milk lattes. - Right, no you're audience. - But I have to at least ask. I'm like, "All of a nice coffee, do you have any other?"

What kind of milk do you have? That's how I tried to be cool about it. And she was like, "I got a whole scam." So I go, "I'll have scam." That goes scam.

Immediately I'm like, "Oh my gosh, it's chosen to fight in front of me." So I go, "Yeah, I said scam, get fixed." I said scam, it goes, "Why would you get scim?" And I go, "I don't know, I don't, 'cause it's less than home." And he's like, "Just get a whole milk."

It's not a lot to, and I'm putting the whole, so by the way, we're already talking too much. The lady already is like, "I have other people to deal with." - What is scam milk? Because in my great question,

we can't get into this in front of the waitress right now. This is a great conversation to have, not in this moment. But I'm, I look at him, 'cause I'm getting older. I don't care what people think about me. And I go, "Babe, whole milk is gonna give me a stomach ache all day."

And skim milk, I'm thinking in my head, even though I don't know, I'm not scientists, might not hurt my stomach as bad.

“He goes, "How much milk are you actually putting into it?”

You're not putting enough to make your stomach hurt?"

And I go, "Can I just get skim milk if I want to get skim milk?"

(audience laughs) And then we start laughing 'cause we realize that now we're a spectacle. Like I've become that cup, oh yeah. And we look at her and she starts laughing, and then this is so old person thing to do.

- And if you're wearing those sunglasses, they think you have glaucoma and you're also 85. - And we get her involved, we go, "What do you think?" And then she's like, "Get me the fuck out of this restaurant. I don't want to be here right now."

So then I'm like, "Find I have home milk." And if something happens to me, we've all had witnesses now that this is your fault. - In my head, skim milk is what? - Home milk?

They've just skimmed off the top. (laughs) They've literally just gone and said, "Just a little bit."

“- I think I grew up in a skim milk home.”

- I grew up in a milk man home. Like our milk got delivered to us. - Oh, that's cool. - And I'm pretty sure we were a 2% family growing up. - Yeah, 2% is a good medium.

We did occasionally get like chocolate milk from a milk man. - The best. - No, like that was the best. - The best. - That is like, yeah.

And like, we get egg knocked during Christmas and stuff. - Wait, so would you end up getting skim her home? - I got whole and I should remember what happened. - Okay, so you know, I'm someone that loves working out at home and I just like really can't bring myself

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I've heard you want your mobile-funk contract. But it's not easy for you to come. Who knows with your XXL's Dreaming Abu? One, two, Tambi? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Phew. Just a little bit of a dream. That with mobile-funk in real life can't be a dream, Frank. From the beginning to the beginning of the exercise, it's possible for 10 euros in a month.

Frank, nine. Frank. I had a burner to myself last night. That could mean so many. I ordered a large cheese pizza just for myself. I was like, tell me the details.

Tell me it's slowly. So I was like, buy myself and I was like, what is a girl to do when she's by herself? And to I go on Netflix and I'm like, perfect. A new husband, murder, wife, document, all right?

Mr. Thing, I suppose to watch that,

“but does this making me watch some scripted thing right now?”

Hannah, Lucy. Is it good? No, I'm gonna cancel my plans today to just watch it. Can't select your plans. It's so good because it's so like,

if there's a pastor involved, she's going down. It's so text book that like, they met this girl with 16.

He groomed her for 15 years, basically.

He essentially put her brain into like a psychosis. It's just so good, but I just wanna say one thing that scared the fuck out of me when I was watching it. This all happens in the state of South Carolina. In the state of South Carolina,

if you're married and you go to the police and you say, my husband is harassing me, stalking me, doing weird shit to me, they say, impossible, 'cause that's your husband. It was so scared and it ultimately is why

the ending of this documentary is the ending of this documentary.

“And that's why the discourse is so problematic right now,”

regarding like, trad wives and being like, my husband is what I'm not going to do now. But we have to give you the woman of some of the week.

I don't like when you're in the drama,

but you won the internet this week. You won it! You won it! I did something a little atypical for myself. I rarely will, I love the drama online. I loved looking at the comments of the Callaway thing.

I rarely will put in my two cents on the internet because I have a podcast. You're not getting in the ring. No honey, I have my own personal forum.

“Why would I hang out with you guys when I can talk to the gals on my own?”

You don't want to get in the mud with pigs. When it comes to domestic violence and I actually, this is like me nitpicking things. It's not like, I don't like when people call it DV, because I think it like minimizes it.

It's domestic violence. The word is violence. When they did the, the commercial, the domestic violence commercial, and then he, the CEO did the apology.

I like read the apology, and rarely when people are getting canceled. Am I chiming in? But as someone who has been through domestic violence, I like physically can't stay quiet.

So I'm reading the apology not one time. Does it mention like women? Does it mention like we're going to donate to domestic violence? We're going to help this. We're going to help that.

So I just commented crazy apology to like not mention women chip. And also, because the guy's name was chip. And like that, that was written for like those written for you. You can't be called chip. And I'm not going to know what you're asking.

Okay, so we all know that a man named chip

has never given an actual apology in his life.

Well, I would assume that a man named chip is short for something. What is your real name, Charles? You're a CEO of a major company. You're a CEO, your name is Charles. Your name is Charles.

Okay, so I had to acknowledge chip. Immediately when I commented, I'm getting flooded with men commenting. And I'm like not really looking because again, like I'm not going to argue with them. Yeah.

I saw two particular comments that I thought I could say something funny back. I could say something really funny back. The first guy comments out at me and he goes, "Do you even play golf?" And in my head, I thought I could comment back and say,

"No, but I have been beat up by a man." And I thought, "I thought too harsh, too dark. Page, keep it to yourself." I saw the next comment and man said, "Describe a woman." So I commented back at him because it instantly came to my brain.

And I said, "A person that you rarely interact with. Silence, a deafening silence from him." Not a comment, not a like. He quite possibly could have deleted his Instagram. When I tell you I ate down with that,

he was Thanksgiving dinner in my bed when I was reading that comment.

“I think I was like playing tennis with some seven-year-old men.”

And I get on the phone, go on TikTok, and someone's like, "Pace a sore bow, isn't the comments?" And I'm like, "Oh no, oh no, I leave her for two hours. What has she been up to?" And I, I'm just really proud of you.

Thank you. I'm really proud of you because it takes strength, it takes bravery. This is like a situation that I felt completely fine commenting on, because it went through it. And as someone who went through domestic violence at 1920,

and didn't speak about it for probably almost a decade, I feel very passionate about talking about it now that I'm 33 years old and like so much more of an adult. And I think part of the reason that I didn't want to talk about it when I was in my 20s was because I don't like the word a shame,

because I wasn't like a shame of it. It was more embarrassing. I was like, "Oh my God, everyone's going to think I'm stupid because I allowed my brain to get manipulated by this insane person."

And so I, and I never wanted to be seen as stupid.

That was like my insecurity from childhood to 25. Like I don't want you to think I'm stupid because I'm not stupid.

“And so I think that's why I never really wanted to talk about it.”

But now it's so relevant because it's 2026, and if I see one more man comment like, "Oh, but you didn't care when it was like a football commercial 15 years ago." And it's like, "Okay, well, 15 years ago, most of these people were children." So why would it be care? And also a football commercial, you're tackling in football.

Tackling Betty White is a comedic joke. Like, obviously, it's not realistic.

No one's tackling grandma's on a football field.

And like, all the men being like, "Oh my God, our world is so soft."

“The only thing soft is your small penis.”

Like, please shut the fuck up. If you're a woman and you are in a relationship and you're boyfriend or fiancé or husband was like, "Get over it." I'm not saying leave him like, "Oh my God, he's gonna hit you at some point in your life." Make a mental note of it, though.

Because there will be something after this that he says that actually does scare you. Because his baseline for this event is get over it, I would be scared. Oh, a hundred percent. Because also, what is he protecting? Not women. His friends who, like, think it's funny. Like, if they think that's funny, then they would be okay

with their daughter being somewhere and their daughter getting tackled. They don't look at you the way they would look at someone who's like related to them or a daughter.

“Like, it's very different. Like, you have to be aware.”

So when your boyfriends or husbands are saying, like, "Get over it." You might not think it now, but something could happen later and you're gonna think back to this moment when he said, "It's not, it's not that big of a deal. It's supposed to be a funny joke." Okay. Well, we'll see if anything ever happens to like someone you're related to and then will it be a funny joke? Like, I really, I have zero tolerance for domestic violence.

I have zero tolerance. Zero tolerance policy. I have zero tolerance for men getting too drunk and they accidentally, like, I've had multiple relationships where men have gotten too drunk and I've done, like, they didn't hit me, but they were right there to do something. I don't fuck around with men yelling at women. I don't fuck around with that. At 33 years old? No. And I co-sign everything you just said.

We kind of go, say one other thing, there's this comic, L. Orlando, who I love. And she has this joke about men who finally have daughters and I'm gonna butcher it, but she's basically, like, I have daughters now and I didn't realize, you know, women are people too. And it's like, it shouldn't be, like, imagine when you have a daughter one day, you shouldn't have to have a daughter to understand empathy towards women.

I want us to, like, have faith in men because we're straight girls in this life. So, like, I want to have positivity towards it. One thing that helps me is when I see horrible

comments of men being, like, okay, so, like, we can't joke anymore. I always click on the profile

to be, like, okay, this isn't, like, a real person. Like, smart. It's not like someone I never even get to be in a room with. A hundred percent. So, I click on it, I see. And all the time, it's like, 14-year-olds. Yeah. If that person walked up to you on the street, you'd be, like, don't think you. No, thank you. No, thank you. I don't know what's about to happen, but no thank you. I don't want to be a part of whatever's about to happen. Um, thank you for being

so vulnerable. I'm thinking about it. Oh my pleasure. No, because it's, it's really, it's not funny. Like, domestic violence can happen to anyone at any time. Like, it can happen to men too. Like, well, it's interesting what you said about, like, feeling embarrassed or, like, feeling like you're not smart when as someone who's been in narcissistic relationships. Yeah. These men tend to go

“for strong, smart, independent women. Because deep down, that's what they want to be.”

As a domestic violence survivor, if they showed me that, if they showed me that video and I said, it's okay. It's funny. Okay. But no one who has ever been in a domestic violence situation would see that and be like, that's okay. Because it sends the wrong fucking message, I don't care if it was like a parody of a movie. No, it wasn't a good one. So no one even correlated that. And it young kids are watching this, these guys who aren't professional athletes play. So

you're telling all these like 12 year old boys and 15 year old kids that like, yeah, you can push your girl to the ground. That's when it starts. You cannot tell them that they are idiots. They will think that's okay. Wow, this, the morning pods really get crazy. I love the morning pods. I did not expect you go into domestic violence. Do you ever, this is not to get too

even more, but you remember men being like, I would never hit a woman. And I'm like the fact,

you have to say that's fucking crazy. It's just like the same. It's just not all men. Okay, well, your threat, if you aren't, then three people you know are. So who are they? I don't have the bandwidth for them. The bandwidth. No, I don't have the bandwidth for men that I personally don't like, they don't have the bandwidth for it. Um, I have three women of some of the week. Okay,

can I add one more? And they're like, no. Yeah, that's insane. Okay, especially if it's like five or six it's a round table. I'm like, can we just squeeze one more in? And like, you don't want to be a bitch to your friend to be like, say, yeah, I'm adding one more. I've one more. Yeah, I'm adding them. I'm not even telling. I'm sorry. Someone's going on. I had a reservation in somewhere in the Hampton's and it was for our family, plus the two kids. And they had availability for six,

but not for eight. So I'm like, I'm booking six and then coming in and being like, I didn't know I had a book for two kids. Yeah, so I'm up with two toddlers and they were like, it was for six. And I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Let's find a toddler. Two toddlers is actually a teenager. So it's like half a person. And everything worked out, but like I wouldn't have been able to book the reservation if I clicked eight, but they clearly just like so year the woman in STEM.

No, I'm not an adult. That's just a side example. The woman in STEM is Gabby Webster on TikTok. She faked a friend like surprising her from like college or something. Like they made this big thing where she was like, oh my god, Stephanie, and they got this big like shit, like get her a shit.

“I didn't have their filming yet and they were like, how did you even how long was the flight?”

So she is up there. When was time of the week number two? Bianca Adler. DMs me. And she's like, hey, I'm a giggler. I still want you to know I love giggler squared. I listen to it. I currently listen to it. I feel like Bianca is like, I'm actually junior class president and I really should be senior class president, but I don't have the band with because I'm taking seven AP glasses. Listen to what Bianca did. She goes, I was listening to Giggley Squad. I'm Australian.

So of course, I'm like, okay, cool. She goes, when I climbed Mount Everest, so I go to her page and like, she's the youngest woman or the youngest Australian period to climb Mount Everest. And she did it. Don't tell me you did Giggley Squad. Yeah. We have to be stopped.

“No, we have to be stopped. Really? What are we injecting in these people's veins?”

Real accomplished people are like, I think, listening to us. Don't listen to us.

No, I'm actually going to cry that's so, that's so powerful. I almost cried last

while you're crying this pod. I actually have been crying like all week, okay. Like, good or bad things are both. Both. Like, I'll see a TikTok and it's like, my dad, we went out to lunch and I'm like, that's beautiful. Like, I'm really, I'm getting my period, but for whatever reason, I'm very cried this. I did cry. There was the first video I saw this morning was like this kid. I think he was in Venezuela and it was, it was like a year's old

and it was his first ever birthday party. And I liked our crying and everyone was singing for him and then they were hooking him and I was like, I was like kind of going so far. Actually, you know what I cried at? Someone said title list randomly at the same time. Like, they had put out an ad, but they're ad. It was a dad leaving a voicemail on his daughter's phone and like the visual was them on the golf course together and it was like, hey, Jill, I know you're

really busy. So I just wanted to say thank you for taking time to golf with your dad. That was we had so much fun. I was like, no I'm crying. I'm crying. Also shout out to Gary and Dan for being

such incredible dads. If any boy looked at me the wrong way, like, I want someone to go up to my dad

and say, actually, I think that ad was funny and everyone's too soft. Okay, you know what I

“really, you know those videos on TikTok where people are like, if you want to get to me, like if you”

like do something to me, you have to answer to my dad and it's like usually like dad's being like, this is my bird collection and like, no, you don't fuck with our dad. No, my dad will jump off of a roof onto your fucking neck. Okay, like, my dad is of a different breed. Also speaking of dads, um, there's a girl right now, Kinsley Rasmus, what a fucking name. Who's currently, um,

she's the daughter, former M.O.B. pitcher. So this former M.O.B. pitcher, dad, is basically like,

my daughter is going to be the best pitcher ever. She's like dominating the little league world series.

with her how old is she? 12. And she's just like crushing the boys and she wears a bow and they're

“saying fear the bow. Wait, you love that. I love that.”

This is actually the fourth one this time of the week. I had a really busy week. Uh, uh, miss is mad. Are you familiar with miss is mad? No. So there's a mister mad and I don't know what happened. Someone spoke up. I was like, Mr. Met needs a wife. For what? Like the mascot. Like the music. You know what? It's the girls. This is the New York Met. It's the baseball team. Oh. So Mr. Met is their mascot. And you know what I'm saying? What is a mat? I think

metropolitan. Oh, it's like the nigger bakers. The nicks. Right. Right. But I don't know. Again, like they're not the matter. Not great at like picking team. You know what's crazy? That there's no team. That's like the horses. Like, sorry, Texas is right there, guys. I know. The horse is what about a Pegasus? You're like, where's the whimsy? What about a unicorn? What about a mermaid? I just feel shocked that like when they were coming up with all of them, it was like actually

“bison. No, no, no. It's like if you want to see whimsy, look at how women are naming nail colors.”

And let's put 1% of the energy into naming the mascots of teams or just naming their children. The women are so creative. So Mrs. Met shows up. And the joke with Mrs. Met is they're the big baseball heads. Yes. She looks just like Mr. Met, but with a dog. Because I guess they couldn't like put her in a skirt because she's like wearing a baseball uniform. So like we have to

give her Kimberly Kardashians. But she has the most amazing butt. Like to the point that like people

are physically attracted to Mrs. Met. Like you can't not look at her and be like, okay, that's hot. So Mrs. Met is now the first female mascot to be inducted in the mascot Hall of Fame. There's a mascot Hall of Fame. Apparently. Well, they don't know. And also like wait a minute, what about the mascots that don't get into it? What did they do to not? Okay, I'm going to piss people off, but like not all mascots are equal. Yeah, look up the Penn State mascot.

When I tell you like Bucky Badger, like that's Hall of Fame material. The Penn State mascot looked like someone bought something from like a Halloween website, put it on a drunk person and let them run across campus. Like not all of them. Not a quality for the mascot.

Oh, quality for mascots. Today does bishop. It was born. He's throwing the first pitch on the Irish

heritage night of the Met's. Are you crying? Are you crying? I mean, I need picked like a Oh, my dear. Oh, like better drop today or I'll lose it. He picked a song about like just like a proud Irish heritage song based going to walk on to and he's been practicing. Yes, but if you guys don't remember, I threw out the first pitch and I thought go nailed it. So like there's like a little tension in the household where I'm like, good luck, babe. Like it's okay if you don't throw a perfect

“strike. That's why no one no team's asked me. I feel like me and then they did. I feel like they”

you could if you wanted to. I don't want to. Um, I just got a like like a real life size adult. Hannah, I can make you an ice try latte. I got a ninja like as espresso, I can make lattes as espresso, espresso, espresso, espresso. I can make iced. I cold to brew. Do you know the difference between them? It's just, it's just a touch screen. I don't need to. It's crazy. You have to come over and see it. I love a touch screen. Well, because you want to know what I got it. It's in the box, right? And then

in the box for like a week. I know that my brother is coming over in like a couple days and there's

make something to eat or like concoct some weird drinks. So I took it out of the box. I put it on the

“counter. I didn't like learn anything about it yet. I thought, I bet let me bait this rat to cheese.”

I bet if I put this on the counter, I'll do it for you. With the directions right next to it, hold, set it all up. So I'm sitting in the living room and I'm like, oh my god, did you see my new coffee machine? He goes, yeah, really nice. And I go, yeah, isn't it? I go, I haven't set it up yet, though. And he's still in the kitchen all the sudden. And you're like, it's probably too complicated. It's so don't even try. It's so easy to rage bait my brother. It's like, actually, like I literally.

He's so easy to piss off. He's listening to this right now punching the car. No. He is so easily manipulated. I mean, he like knows I'm saying it on purpose, but he still can't, like, get over it. I'm like, I bet you actually can't make that. You know my brother is like obsessed with coffee when I go to his house. He's like, kind of make you a real lot. Like, men love that shit. Yeah. Wait, what is that with our brothers? It's like with men like barbecue and like espresso

machines. I don't know what in their DNA. Five minutes later, I was drinking a nice coffee with whipped whole milk. Like, why are both their brothers tradwives? No, literally. I just realized that,

“like, my brother takes care of me. He's like, what do you want to eat? What do you need?”

It's actually funny because my brother and his fiance moved into a new house and I was like, at home, over the weekend, like, visiting them. And when I was leaving his house, I was like, walking out the door. And he was pushing like a wet mop. Like, one of those ones you like plug in.

It's never been my ever seen that I just looked at him and I was, I was leaving. I go, you've changed.

Or he's been trained well. Shout out to Amanda. It is funny to watch my older brother love someone more than himself. No, it's just funny to watch your sibling be like, this is my wife. It's just like such an weird, but I, and I'm so happy. It's Amanda. Like, I will have the best sister. It's such a different love than towards you. Like, it's such a different love to watch. Yeah, it's not a love of like our family. I'm like, wait, you respect her.

Like, you have patience with her. You don't jump to conclusions. Yeah, he's completely different. I'm like, she did something, and I was like, oh my god, Gary's going to freak. I was like, my brother's going to freak out. And he was like, oh, that's okay, Amanda. And I go, I'm like, that's okay. I'm like, interesting, because my whole life, it wasn't okay. And then when you get in your own, like, brother spats, like, she just steps back. She's like, this is a whole other realm that I'm not

getting involved in. Well, we have like a her and I have a like, yeah, like he said something to her, and she looked at me, and I go, I got this one. I got this one. What's that funk? You're telling me you're telling me, I'm telling you. No, we're definitely, we definitely are a family that crosses boundaries. Like, there's no, like, we're not a family that's like, yeah, like, like, I was, okay, this is a perfect example. I'm at my brother's house with Joe and my brother's fiance.

And we're sitting around the kitchen table. We're talking about different stuff. All the sudden

my dad just appears in the home. Just randomly he's there. We go, how, first, where did you come from?

“And second, why didn't we hear what door did you use? He goes, I have my own key. Go, what?”

Nothing's normal in our family. Like, if you have a house, we're coming over. We have that house. That's our house. By the way, adding on to getting older, does and I put on a show in bed at like 80. Oh, you just said that's sorry, that's on me. That's on me. I made it weird. I made that weird. No, but as in you like watching TV and bed, and we were like in bed, and he was like, should we just turn the TV on? And I was like, should we go fucking crazy tonight? Yeah. And look,

it's, I hate to say it's end of summer. Like, I have to pack. I have shit to do. I have to get back to the city. I have, you was open this weekend. I have stuff to do. And it was 80 and I was, yeah, it's 80 and I was like, I record gigantly in the morning. And then I head to the city. I'll time to pack. Literally, 845. He's snoozing. I can't keep my eyes open. And I, you know, when you go to, I don't know if this ever happened to you. You go to sleep knowing you have not done anything,

but you need to do the next day. So I woke up at 8 a.m. scared, unsh, unshowered. You know, I hate that.

It's the world of the story. And I don't know what I'm packing. What time is he usually getting in bed?

Uh-huh. I keep him outside as long as I can. You try it. Yeah, you try and keep him out. I don't know anything. But we're watching the show, the agency, which is on Paramount Plus with the really hot Irish guy. I forget his name. But it's like a boy show. So like, I could fall asleep during it. Yeah. But I have some good moments. But boy shows. Oh my god. And he's like, you missed, I might just watch the next episode on with you. I didn't miss anything. There were explosions. Let's go. Let's go

“the next episode. Oh, there was a chase scene. Okay. Got it. You're like, yeah, I think I can figure”

out. I can in front from there. So next week, I'm back in the city. You're back in Italy. Like,

seasons are changing. I'm very excited to go to Venice. I've never gone. All I've heard is that it's just

like show romantic. My nanopopas said it's their favorite place. Really? They actually might know someone in Venice. They always like know a guy who like runs some restaurant that like you go to the basement. There's like special around Cheney or something. Yeah, just seen so good at finding like, you would honestly love a vacation with Josephine because she's so good at finding like vintage

“places and like, when are we going to Italy together? You should just come with me. So we're going to”

have like a little girls. Wait, are you going to shop? Well, am I alive? Do I have a pulse? Is my heart beating?

Yeah. No, I'm going to go to Venice and be like, I'm not contributing to your guy's economy. No, it's the right thing to do when you go to someone else's hometown. It's contribute to their economy. Yeah. I'm going to be thought of the TikTok you're going to make when you're in the gondola. No, I have it. Okay, you've worked to do. I did save two TikToks that I want to do at Josephine. Because that's, you know, if you take the talk when you're in Italy. Yeah, because it's the only time I'm

like happy. The only time the internet can't get to me. You know, I'm like, sorry, if I got the time change, we love you guys so much. Have the best we could ever. I know, and we had nothing to talk about this episode. Pretty usual. And it's just flu by. And I'll just save whatever down about my rosary beads for Monday. Yeah, I have stuff to. We didn't hit anything. We didn't. We didn't have the band with today. We love you guys so much. Talk to you later. Bye.

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