[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello, we're a little flexible, let's say, shun. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Very effective Wi-Fi.
[MUSIC PLAYING] We can't be managed. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] I'm in the day just got away from me.
Right before the pod starts, I'm always like, oh my god,
I have so many things to tell Hannah. And then the pod starts, and I'm like, let's carry. What's my name? How did you find me? Where are you?
I just wrote one note. Tell myself, tell myself, to wake up. Well, can we just say this isn't early morning pod. We have to warn people when it is, because it does have a different genusic quad to it.
Yeah. Yes. Not good, but not better, not worse. Just slightly different. It's interesting.
It's interesting, they're in different head space. [LAUGHTER] Oh, the mornings. OK, no, I have a hack.
OK, you know how I'm always
like waking up in the middle of the night, doing weird things. She's a night owl. She's a vampire.
“I think before I go to sleep, I think, oh,”
I'm like annoyed that I know I'm going to wake up at three or four in the morning. So we did a science experiment the other night. Right before I went to bed, I said, page. I said it out loud, too.
And in my head, a little bit. Is that a page? You're waking up at seven a.m. Because I have an amazing internal clock and never slept through an alarm in my life.
I wake up 30 minutes before I have to wake up. And then I like ease myself into it. It's a big thing where I get stomach ache. Anyway, so I did that the other night, and it worked. This podcast is just an internal dialogue
of us fighting our demons. And you're like, this is going on in the dark depths of the night inside my head. We'd so you manifested waking up at the right time. I manifested.
Yeah, I told my body, hey, cut it out. We don't need to wake up at four a.m. And I did like a slight wake up, but not like in overly. When you wake up in the morning, does your heart start going? Because you're like, oh shit, I'm awake.
And I can't go back to sleep. OK, sorry. I want to put that in the ether. Go on, so that. When something is like physically going on in my life,
that's like causing me angst, I will wake up super early with like tight chest heart palpitations. Are we on the third? Be Zoom or you?
“I go on, that's why we'll be cheering is recommended.”
We had a different night last night. Well, OK, I have the kids. I have those in Bobby. My niece and nephew. You've been treating me like a year and new mom.
Like, I call you with problems. And you're like, I don't know, call somebody who has time. I have kids. I fully, like, haven't checked my text messages all day. I don't know how moms have time.
I can't shower. Like, it's been chaos. Lois is literally you reincarnated. Yeah, lois is everything I want my daughter to be. She's spunky, she's sassy and she's stylish, honey.
But I think that she looks a lot of photos of us and me wearing these like cool outfits. So when she sees me, she expects me to be in like a beautiful dress. So I, yeah, she expects. She expects you to have done glam.
At the middle most for she arrives 'cause she's proper. Yeah, she's like, so sh-- You know, kids wake up at like the crack of dawn. She goes mom and Hannah's cat fishing us. We got to get out of here.
Well, the real sum shady, please stand up 'cause that's not my Hannah. So she wakes up at the crack of dawn and then I'm in my bedroom sleeping.
“So she's, I think, assuming that I'm like getting ready for her.”
Then when I come out looking how I look in the morning, she's not happy. I walk out and I see her smile turned to a frown and she goes, we need to change your outfit. This is me wearing my pajamas, my hair's a mess.
She goes, we need to change your outfit. And I'm like, let me have some coffee. Let me start my day. We need to change your outfit. I say, okay, she takes me into my room.
She goes, show me the dresses. She's like, show me what I have to work with. She's already rolling her outfit. She's like, I'm not expecting much. Like, it's not promising, but let's just see.
She knows immediately if she likes me. It goes, this cute, she goes ugly. It goes, this cute, she goes ugly.
Okay, that was $300, okay, never mind.
She looks, and she knows what she likes.
And now, you know, she loved purple.
She goes, I need to let you know. I also like, pink and yellow. And I go, add it to summer colors, got it. So she takes a white dress. She brings out, I have all these things.
She handles all over the place. She finds the cute white thong sandals that match it. Gets a white necklace, puts it on. And then takes my mu mu white purse and goes, okay. Here, you're welcome.
She goes, was that so hard. Walk out, and she goes, mom, look at her now. And then she literally was like tag the stylist bitch. Give credit, we're credits do. And she's walking, she's looking, then she loves me.
She's literally like you when I have glam. She's falling around, she's like you're like a princess. You're like a princess. Yeah, she's like, literally my brother was like, doesn't page like you better when you're pretty.
I'm like, yeah, I'm literally like reliving.
Page through this little girl's eyes. She is a pink aura. We go to the pool of Gothra, but I pick up my own bathing suit. And at some point, I'm like, this, I need to talk to Gini about the control issues, but anyway.
She's literally standing at the pool. She's like, why is she the one? Right, baby. Gini goes, we have to change. And she, I basically like, do you want to pick out bathing suit
and she goes, take them all out, take them all out. So I put them all on the floor, because what I've seen, because what I've seen, she's little, she's like smoking a cigarette. Get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head. You thought I'd really freak me out.
I just, I just picture her standing in your bedroom doorway. Like, this is it? She's thinking smoke breaks in between. We're in the Hampton's, this is what you have. And I, oh god, so she looks through.
And she loves things that are sparkly, but I don't have any sparkly bathing suits. You don't have any sparkly bathing suits. You're 34, get a grip. She's literally like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She holds one up, she goes, really. She took a lighter and started burning.
She goes, never wears a gun.
Who let you buy this?
“She's like, how many Amazon bathing suits does a person need?”
She goes, mom, extend my trip. I gotta be here at least a month. I don't know how I have this bathing suit. It must have been for like a theme party like when I was 24, it's a silver bikini.
And I'm like, please don't be a song. My whole family's here, please don't be a song. And she does, I want you to wear this. So this is 10 a.m. And I put on this silver spring break,
can't cune girls gone wild bikini. I feel like I know which one you're talking about. I feel like it's like a little metallic. Yes, it's metallic. But like, this wasn't the vibe of our West Ham did morning.
Right. (laughs) She's like, do you have any heels? (laughs) So I walk outside with her, my dad, my brother, Jeannie, Bobby, my mom, we're just sitting on the couch.
And they're just, they're not even dealing with it. That point, they're like, they're not faced by it. So we go in the pool together. And she loves mermaid. So I'm like, am I a mermaid?
I'm looking at her and I'm like, my hair's in the water. I'm like, am I a mermaid? And she goes, you're a fish. (laughs) She's like, don't be yourself at you're a fish.
She ate, ate, ate. Yeah. And with that, clear the whole room. Clear the whole pool. But why she loves me is because one thing and Hannah has,
she's got the credit card. Yeah. And one thing about me is I can't say no to Lowes Burner. And she looked at me and she goes, can we go to the fashion store?
(laughs)
“Which is that just like any store that has clothes?”
Yes. Where she can get her clothes. Yes. And I said, if like, how many new clothes do you want? And she was like, 100.
And I said, (laughs) She's like, I haven't seen them yet, bitch. She's like, what do you mean? She's like, we haven't stepped in the store. But what I love letters, I talked to her like an adult.
And I said, Lowes, if I get you 100 new clothes, where are you gonna put your other clothes? And she goes, in my dresser, in the garage, and I'll get rid of the old ones. She had a full plate.
She doesn't have an organizing team coming over. And we're gonna donate the ones that I don't wear anymore 'cause there's a fit me anymore. So I actually do need the new clothes. She's like, I'm doing a brand deal
with an organizational company. Don't you worry about it. I see the montage right now. Lowes Burner's walking closet. She's like, by the looks of it, you don't care about organizing.
So buzz off. Now is she into toys at all? Or is she strictly like fashion? So we did get distracted by the toy shop.
“She was like, what'd it be crazy if I got some toys too?”
And I said, okay. She's like, and then we'll get lattes. It's literally, I was just in my girl day. We did pool, we did shopping, we did come up with outfits.
She got the demon hunters Barbie.
She loves Barbie.
“She wanted every Barbie, and I was so proud of myself.”
I was like, pick one Barbie. I don't know how parents are even on TikTok because I feel like even when I get a TikTok ad for some toy or game, I'm like, yeah, I want it. They kind of need to get.
I don't know how moms aren't just buying everything. And algorithm so good, like, if she loves purple dresses, so I just keep getting fed purple dresses, and I'm like, well, I can't not get that purple dress. But then she did a page.
And she's, it's like this crazy toy store. And she's looking, like she's going in the detail. And she's reading the fine print. And she goes, I want that. And I'm like, what?
And it's like, all the way in the back. I don't even know how she saw it. It's an infant baby. She's in my turn with a full bassinet. And she goes with the bassinet.
I go, how do you know what a bassinet is? I don't know what a bassinet is. She looked at you and she goes, that way. She's like, oh, I'm supposed to hold my baby raw. You need a bassinet.
So she's holding the bassinet, baby. Well, call me ugly, and it was the most fun. But I'm exhausted. Oh, then not to bring up Walt Disney again. OK, do you know that's a theme on the phone?
Oh, remember we talked about Bambi? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, OK. We don't remember anything we've ever talked about on this part. We start fresh. I go nice to meet you.
No, we're like 50 first weeks.
So we get on the pod. We're like, there are so many times. I'll go fully into a story. I'll finish it in page. You said that last week.
And I go, cut it, grace, cut it. So do you Hans Christian Anderson is-- No, he's not a guy on the Norway football team. OK, he wrote the little mermaid. He's like the guy.
OK. Of course he's written my man. So my mom has this old book of like Hans Christian Anderson.
“They were like, what's my dream if women shot the fuck up?”
I read the original little mermaid to her. And it's a novel. Like it's like 60 pages, but like a ton of words. And she like somehow knows when I skip words. Like it's kind of weird, because like you can't read.
How do you know that I don't skip four paragraphs? But the real story of the little mermaid is crazy. Is that it? Like what? Like dark and twisted?
Basically, when I got my mom's walking blind,
she goes, you're going to need to change the ending. Walks away. I go, what the fuck's about that? You've had to pull a shy, let's web. No, I just have to change the whole plot line.
So it starts off, boy, based on this girl, I mean, it starts cute. She's like a mermaid, and she sees a prince on the boat. And who's really hot? And I'm like, but even though guys hot doesn't mean you're going to be happier in life, I try to put those stuff in.
It's a little male center. Right. So then, I don't know, the kids are coming back in. I'm dead. I don't know how this is going to work out.
All they do is yell. This is crazy. Why are they back? We're told in 10, 30. Why are they back?
Okay, let's have a lowest say hi and they'll kick them out. Lowest. Okay. Sorry about this.
“Toby, don't have anything important to do.”
Lowest, come in here. Come in here. I'm on Gagley's God. Do you want to say hi? Come in.
I'm going to, there's Princess Page. Come on. Come on. God Princess Lowest. Look at that princess dress.
I love you. Did you wrap it together and outfit for me? What did you get me to wear? Remember the white dress? What color bathing suit should I wear today?
Pink. Pink. Yeah. Hello, sir. Bobby, say hi Gagley's God.
Hello, mister. I'm Anna Felix. What color bathing suit should page wear? What color bathing suit should I wear today? She's considering a lot.
Yeah. She's like, she's like, well, with your skin tone right now. How about blue? Okay. Perfect.
We're so similar. We think similarly, lowest. Okay. How many to finish the podcast? Can you lock them up?
Maybe just put them outside. Yeah, put them outside. Can you? Bobby said bye to Princess Page. Bye, Bobby.
I love your t-shirt. I love flowering. Yeah. I love flowering. I love your flower dress.
Do you think I can borrow it sometime? Yeah. We'll show Page how I'm not a smile. How do I smile? Show Page.
Yeah. How does Hannah smile? I sing, bye, babe. I love you. I sing the mom who works suit jobs.
I love the kids, but never steps.
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“And I think about it every time I see a child, I go, "Oh kids, glad I never was one."”
See, when I see a kid I turn into a four year old. Like we're just four year olds together. Okay, so back to the little mermaid. It's just so fucked up. So she sees, yeah. But she was like, "He's tall. He's green eyes. I'm like, "Lose. Do not fall for this. I fall for it before." Just 'cause you see him across the room where the tall bull eyes doesn't mean you're going to like sell your fucking soul for him, okay? So then the boat, the waves get high and he falls out the boat and the princess saves him.
So it's like, why are we saving a man? We're saving things in day and challengeers, but anyway. So she watches him up on the shore but then she hides because she's a mermaid and that would be weird. Right. When he wakes up a different bitch finds him and he thinks she saved him, which that's typical like male story writing because like where's the communication? Like I know points he like, "Did you save me?" She'd be like, "No, I just found you here."
But instead, do one time a guy sent me flowers and I thought it was someone else and so I texted the someone else.
“And I said like, "Oh my god, I can't believe you sent me flowers." And he went with it for like a while.”
Like a week's, until I found out.
Do you know the suction amazing move? Just a text random guy's, "Thank you for the flowers."
Well, I have the floor said text people and said, "Oh my god, did you send me flowers?" And then when they respond, you don't respond. Because then they think like, "Oh, she figured out who really sent her flowers and now she's talking to them." And she can't respond to me. "You are playing chess, I have no swing checkers."
So he's falling in love with this new girl who he thinks saved him because God forbid he actually asked, "Did you save me?" So just classic miscommunication. And then she goes back to her sisters and she's like, "I met a guy and they're like, "No." And she's like, "No, he's really, really cute." And they're like, "If you can't swim."
And she's like, "No." But like, he has boys, he's tall. Like that's literally the story. She finds him, but she has to give up her voice and she has to be naked. And not that much has changed in the year 2026. If I had a nickel for the amount of times,
I'll see which takes her voice and then basically throws her on the short naked and alone with no voice.
And the most fucked up thing, he's into her. And that's usually how I am after a breakup. I'm naked and I have, I've lost my voice, I've lost myself.
I'm a shell of myself, no pun intended.
I'm a shell. Okay.
“But the thing is somehow, he, he like befriends her.”
And I'm like, "How do they befriends each other when she can't speak?"
So she's like, "Yeah." I really into each other, but he goes, "But I need to marry the girl who saved me." Not this beautiful, mute girl who I clearly am really into. He's like, "I just love how your mind worked." I love how you can say so much, but yet nothing at all.
You tell such a story with your eyes. Basically, the prince was talking to her for like an hour straight and then was like, "You really get me?" He was like, "You're the only one I understand, man. You're really fucking cool." No, you want to know what? We don't talk enough as a society because this would like really piss the men off.
It's so easy to get a guy to like you, but it's so hard to like a guy. Like, truly, you just have to ask a man three questions consecutively about one thing that he likes, and he will be obsessed with you. Literally just go up to a guy and be like, "I love OGN and OB. Did you watch?"
Like, what did you feel about the finals? Like, wasn't that insane? And then let him talk. The next, let him talk for like, "Oh, I thought you were asking me for a minute now." Babe, I would not know. That's two different, "I don't give a fly."
Be like, "Was it all the craziest time ever?" This is for the New York summer scene. Let him talk for like 30 minutes and be like, same. And he'll be like, "Yeah."
She never missed someone that like, "Can I understand me?"
But so I was like, "I feel like you're like my mom." It's so funny, this girl made a TikTok. And she was like, "I know I say." I know I've said something wrong on the internet when I have a lot of men responding, being like, "Yeah, need more of you, like, protector."
Wait, no man's ever commented protector, which is hilarious. No man's ever commented protector. I feel like the moment a guy says, "Wow, like, girls aren't like you or something. Like, you've gone a lie, you've gone a mess." You've said something wrong.
It's not a good outfit. It's not good. It's just one feminist moment. I have to say, "I was thinking about all the red pill men. They're obsessed with controlling women."
And that's what makes them masculine.
“Do you know what's the most masculine thing a man can do?”
Protect women. Stand up for women. Like fight for women.
That is the most manly thing you could do.
Instead of putting down women, that's not cool. Not masculine. Oh, you're stronger than us. And you're trying to suppress us? Ew.
Not cool. Not cool. Guys. Not cool. Ew.
Anyway, okay. So the prince is like, "I want to marry you, but you don't." No, no, no. He goes, "I want to marry you. I love that you don't speak."
But this other girl saved me. But she can't speak. So she can't be like, "She didn't save you." And I guess the other girl's just going with it. Which you know what?
Go for her. He's a prince. I kind of get it.
“I'm like, "If you want to say that, cool."”
So then they throw a wedding. They throw a full wedding. And she goes to it because she's toxic. And she's, yeah, it's not literally a mask. She's dancing.
I don't know if she is close on, but she's dancing at the wedding. And what really happens is she goes to her sister. And she's like, "I can't deal with him being with this other girl." And the sister goes, "You should kill him." So if I let's get involved.
Look at him. Suddenly? I'm back in. You guys, please stop the last 10 minutes. Now I'm clocked.
I'm clocked from my shift. Now I'm logged in. And this is how she tells the sister if she can't talk. She can talk to other roommates. Great question.
I guess she can talk to other roommates. Maybe in the water. So many plot holes that in that meeting, they were like, "It's on. Let him do what he wants."
They didn't look along. So then the last, my mom literally was like, "You gotta change this part." Because the last picture, she instead of killing the prince turns and kills herself.
Oh, my. The picture is her with a knife into her chest. That's the last photo on this ancient book. So then I changed it to being like, "And then they live happily ever after, but you don't need a man."
I need to see this book. I need to see this picture. I'll put it in the newsletter. It's insane. And these lowest is in a very vulnerable place right now.
She is soaking up. She's like a sponge. Yeah. So I'm reading this and I'm like, "We never had a chance." No.
We don't have it.
So no. Next time you're feeling bad. We never had a chance. And also, like, what was Hans going through? Who hurt Hans?
Who rejected Hans? It's so funny you say that because I was with one of my girlfriends. The other day, who's married. And I, I said to her, I was like, "Don't you just feel like we were fed this lie.
Our whole, like, lives as a women where it's like, "Don't worry because one day you're gonna get married "and, like, you'll get taken care of and you'll be a mom "and, like, all this stuff." And then, like, as you get older,
you're just like, "Why do they even say that to us?" Yeah. Because now I'm like, "Who's taking care of me?" Like, what are you talking about?
A hundred percent. I'm like, "Well, shout out to my dad, "every now and then he says something profound, "even to blind squirrel finds a nut." Yeah.
And he said, "Don't let a man distract you." Which I've taken that with me my whole life in terms of, like, if a man is annoying you, not annoying 'cause I'm not gonna know you all the time, but, like, if he is causing you negativity
or, like, not pulling you in the direction that you want to go, you get rid of him.
“So I think, like, that was really powerful”
to young age to have my own dad be like, "You don't need us." Can I say something that's, like, not powerful, but, like, it's stupid, but it's, like, let me talk to the team.
Yes, you can. In my 20s, when I would arguably say, I was, like, the most boy crazy, the most, like, pick me, like, oh my god, I have to have a boyfriend, like, all of this.
I've always been, like, a list person.
I've always made a schedule for myself every single day, like, just think random things I want to get done. I would notice that when I was with a certain type of man, I would do nothing on that list. Whether it was me being, like,
fuck off to the list, or it was him actively doing things, and it was, like, oh, well, I don't have time to do this stuff for me, because I have to do this for him. And then when you find yourself with someone where you don't even have to live together,
but, like, where you find someone where you're doing everything you planned on doing that day without them as a thought, and, like, still you're able to get it done. I really, that it goes undetected a lot. Like, people don't talk about that as being,
like, a real pro to a relationship, and it's, in some part, like, you're still able to be yourself. So I notice the moment I'm not doing my to-do list, I'm putting way too much time into you, and what you're doing, and now it's fucking my shit up,
and if someone doesn't care about fucking your shit up, regardless of what it is, what scale it is, they don't care about you. Like, a man is, like, if I tell my boyfriend, like, I have to be here at a certain time,
and he's, like, dilly, dallying and not get- - He doesn't respect you. - Yeah. You don't respect me, you don't respect my time.
“You should be ready, like, 30 minutes before,”
because you know I have to get somewhere. - That was extremely profound. - That was really fucking good. - That was so good. - But you have to figure out what works for you,
like, how you notice it for you. Like, I just know my to-do list is a constant in my day-to-day. So I could, like, pick up and pick it up on that. - Also, when I think of dating, like, a game,
I'm, like, like, when something would happen, when I was, like, 26 or, like, 25, and it didn't work out, I was, like, oh, yeah, because I'm, I'm not the person I'm gonna be, and I'm gonna be, and the person I'm gonna be
is gonna attract better people, too. So why fight for, like, this version, this guy who likes this version of myself that isn't even there yet.
And I always say the more you focus on yourself,
the more you open doors to meet people who are gonna meet you where you're at. And if you're not where you wanna be, you're not meeting people who you wanna meet. I really do believe that you attract
the type of people from, like, what you think about yourself. Like, you know how people say, like, oh, if you look back at your ex-boyfriends, you can see, like, your mental illness,
or you can see how much you love yourself? - Oh, like, if I really did a timeline, like, you can see what happened in certain relationships and why you go, like, opposite sometimes, because you're, like, that was really crazy.
I didn't know part in that ever again. So it's just interesting. - I really have to, like, take self-inventory when you're dating someone, because it's so easy to get wrapped up
in those first six months.
And if it's not blissful in the first six months, why are you there? - If the dopamine still, he's still annoying you're so fighting with the dopamine.
“- No, I think if you're getting in, like,”
any type of, like, screaming match,
Breakdown fight in the first six months,
it's not for you, you don't need to, even.
- I should have taken my own advice so many times. - That's why, now, you can speak on it because you're, like, guys, I've ignored this for years. And I've, yeah, I do believe it for years. - Um, I have to admit something, like,
I feel like I just have to say my intrusive thoughts on this pod. I saw a video of Benz and Boone. - Okay. I still don't quite know who that is.
- Not important. - Say it again. - You'll know who it is, what it is, sorry. - He's a friend of his tour bus, and there's all these fans.
And he besides, I'm going to do a front flip. - Okay. - Benz and Boone is the guy who does front flips. Like, he flips off piano and stuff. - Okay.
- Who's like on the VMAs? - I'm obsessed with you've no idea of Benz and Boone, it's incredible. - I have no idea who he is. - That's so peaceful.
That's so peaceful. - Picking him out of a line-up. - Couldn't do that. - The toxic side of me was, like, I was making fun of him,
my head, but then I'm like, "Wait, if I could do a front flip." And I was on a gigley squad tour. And we'd be down the floor. - And there were a bunch of gigley standing there. I'm doing a front flip.
“- The best thing that ever happened to us as a society”
is that you never got into competitive cheerleading.
- No, apparently, I was put into gymnastics, but I wasn't good. - I just feel like there's an alternate reality where you were, like, really into sports, but, like, more, like, my kind of sports,
but you, like, don't let me in. You want to competitive cheerleading team as the main base. - I love the base. - Maybe it's not the same.
- How the code is the base? You're the, what is the flyer? They're at the top of the river. - Yeah. You're, like, a one arm-picked, like--
- Like, this is why our function works out. Someone is at the top of the pyramid and someone's at the bottom. And that's how it balances. And I'm always glad about the barrier.
Get him out there. - Yeah. When you're looking for a best friend, you have to find your base. - Yeah.
- You're sturdy. - You're just going to find something. You have to find something grounded. - She's going home and down. - Oh, wait, someone said, like, a picture of--
I think it was, like, a horse race, and one of the horse's names was quads.
“- Wait, the best thing I've ever seen on the internet”
is the video a Gigler made of the two horses talking. Can you explain it? - Well, if you didn't see either, of our stories around the Gigler squad, there was a Gigler that has these two gorgeous horses.
And she did one me, one Hannah. - And it goes, "Oh, horse, that's me." It's like-- (laughs) - And the horse had pages, like, wait,
it was, like, a perfect bang. Like, a side sweat bang. - She's, like, barely open your mouth. She's, like, "What's going on?" - It's so good.
- Okay, so how long are you a mother for? Like, when do the sweet babies leave? - Well, I'm literally in Sheldron Island, like, staying at my parents' house to spend more time with them.
And last night at the beach, the lowest came up to me and said, "Can I fix your smile?" And she, with her little thumbs, she tried to pull my mouth back.
And I was, like, she goes, "Pst Hannah, I can't look at you anymore." - Wait, what's the, what's the bravo quote? She's like, "There's no plain baby.
There's no. There's no plain." Yeah, there's, I actually don't even really know what that's from, but like, I feel like I've quoted it.
- There's a tailor, and, like, I think her baby was, like, "Can we go on the private plane?" But, like, she got divorced, and they don't have the plane anymore,
and she's like, "There's no plane." - No, bring back unattainable people to reality TV. Like, like, "Sorry. I mean, like, O.G.
early 2000s." - Can you raise my mouth? - Yeah, like, I want to see
some shit I've never seen.
I've seen before in someone's home. Like, I want someone who, like, presses a bell in each room, and, like, a Butler comes in. You know, like, I want something.
- We're at the Butler's in New York City. Where'd they go? - I don't know. Do you think anyone has still has, like, legitimate Butler?
- Yeah, I mean, I'm sure. - Yeah. - Think about, like, any, like, really rich person in the Hamptons. Think about the tea,
their house management has. Like, that's a reality show, but then they all get fired. - True. - But, like, worth it.
But, within, within each other, they talk. - They talk. - Sorry, my Zoom is, like, freaking out. Hello. And we're on.
What were you saying? - What was I saying? - I have no idea. - I have no idea. - I have no idea.
Oh, people were also sending me a video of this girl. All our friends were, like, at the beach. And she's with her boyfriend.
“And he turns to, like, propose, I think.”
But she doesn't know he's proposing, and everyone's looking at her. So she just does a split. And everyone's, like, this would be you if you could. And I'm like, literally, that's all I want to do.
She's in a split.
He's, like, trying to propose. And she's, like, is anyone, anyone think goes a good split? - That's so funny because, obviously,
“recently, I'm obsessed with stretching my hips.”
- Are you gonna, get a split and do it on tour? - You know what, I'd have to silently be working toward doing a split. And then I'd have to bust it out and surprise you. - But you know, I can't handle that emotionally.
Like, I would, like, I'd cry. I'd be so proud of you, but that would require you getting out of the seat. - You know, I'm not practicing to do a split. I just need to be more aligned mentally, physically.
- One thing with us, you know, I love when you say no to me. - Yeah. - Because then in six years, you know you will be doing splits on stage. Like, I love when you're like,
and I would never, kind of stop.
And I won't do that. I'm like, you're getting, yeah. I'm getting cut. Okay, so in six years, I'm a Pilates instructor who has seven kids.
I wanted to use on her men, but I also did, like, a guy was watching friends on the plane, and I was watching it, and I was thinking about, we've never talked about this,
which man on friends did you like? - We've never talked about this. Do you know? I've never really watched friends. - I never did either.
There was always just, like, on in the background in, like, my friends places. - Yeah, like, I've never sat down, pilot episode. I know maybe, like, the gist of it,
but obviously-- - I know, but smelly cat, because I'm, you know, I have a pulse. - Yeah, because you're alive, you're in the culture. But obviously, jelly. - Same. - Yeah.
I mean, he's the cutest one for sure. I'm just going to say this, because I'm going to be honest, of the three guys on friends, the kind of guys that, like,
if I walked into a room, I wouldn't be into them, but if I heard one of them thought I was hot, I would fall in love with them. (laughing)
You know what I mean? - Yeah, I mean, like, David Schwimmer, whatever, I'd be like, he's not that cute, but if they're like, he likes you,
I'd be like, "Okay, give him away, friend." (laughing) Same with the other one, Chandler. Like, they're cute enough that if they like--
- Like, all right, pee. It's so sad, it's so, so sad.
“But Joey, I think they tried to make it like he was dumb,”
and I was like, he's an actor. He had a member of his lines. He wasn't that dumb. - Yeah, and then there was, like, a stint where he was with Jennifer Aniston,
but I don't like know about that storyline, but I know that I like don't like it. - Yeah. - Because I just don't, I didn't, I don't like that vibe.
I don't know, there's something about, there's something I love a sitcom too. Like, I love a 30 minute, like funny, like, whatever. I think all the girls in it,
and I love looking at them, and I love, yeah, I loved all of that, but for whatever reason,
I just like could never get into it.
I don't know if it's because it, it came out at a time where we were like, way too young to watch it, and then when we got old enough to watch it, it was almost like it was such an older show at that time.
- Yeah, like, Jenzy's love friends. - 'Cause that, it's, we was like nostalgia. It was like, old, it's like us watching saved by the bell, maybe. - It's so crazy to think that, like, Jenzy doesn't know about watching TV, like, on TV.
Like, remember, like, was there ever a show that you watched either,
“like, middle school or high school that you waited for?”
- Yeah, it's just for all of us. - And then, like, during commercials, you would, like, run, does our housewives. Okay, mine would probably be, like, Gilmore girls or something.
- Jersey Shore, um, the hills. Yeah, but that would be older. I'm just listening, everything I've ever watched on TV. - My super sweet 16. - When you're around kids, does it make you, like, oh, my God.
I mean, I know I'm even more ready for children, or does it make you, like, that's, it's a lot. Like, does it make you read, like, I know exactly how moms feel when they say, it's so difficult, but so beautiful.
- Yeah. - Like, I just become, the, like, making of things and like, it's, it's the, you're, you're an unhappy, and you lose yourself and you find yourself. Like, I'm literally feel like they're like,
I've ended the day on, like, that was so horrible,
but I loved every second of it.
Like, yeah. But it is crazy where at this time in age, we're like, no woman can fully explain the true experience of motherhood in, like, a, easy way.
- One of the craziest things, too, that I think that we, like, in society, is obviously right when you turn 30, people are like, when you're getting married, when you're having a baby,
but it's like, we get pushed to have a baby, and then you have a problem after you have a baby, and it, and, like, I feel like the health care system is like, figured out yourself.
- Oh, for sure.
You have the baby, figured out yourself. It's not like you know if you're gonna have postpartum. Like, it's not something you can really truly, I feel like, prepareful. - Yeah. - And it's not something that, like,
women freely can talk about. I feel like, I don't even hear about postpartum until, like, the last five years. Like, in my ether.
“- I literally, I remember asking my mom,”
maybe, like, a couple of years ago, like, did you have experienced postpartum with either of your pregnancies? Did you have any friends that, like, had it? She goes, "One, we didn't call it that?"
- Yeah. - I go, "What did you call it?" She goes, "We called it the baby blues." - What a good rebrand. - And she goes, "Uh, like, yeah, everyone's, like, a little sad after, like,
I guess I was a little bit, but I had nothing, like, crazy." And I'm, like, that's so fucking insane. It's not like you had me in the '60s. It was 1992.
Like, no one asked a follow-up after, like, you had a extremely traumatic birth and she was, like, not really, no. Like, that's just so crazy to me. - No. - I don't know.
I just, like, think about it a lot.
- Well, you finally got comfortable with your identity,
sometimes, like, in your 30s. And then you have a kid and you're, like, wait, I just started, like, who I was.
“- Well, that's what it is, I think, too. - Which is weird.”
- Where in your 20s, I almost feel, like, it's your easier with change in your 20s because, like, everything is changing. Where in your 30s, things are a little bit steadyer. You, you know, you're maybe, like, in the same apartment
for more years, you've been dating someone, the same person, so, like, things aren't as crazy. And then you have a baby in your, like, I feel like you're right back to what the fuck is going on. Like, like, they explain the love of children
and then the sadness of having children is like, you don't know it until you experience it. So it's so hard for these male doctors who were studying it to be, like, this is what's going on. - I have a pregnant lady in my house right now.
- I just feel like this is a wild thing to say, but, like, being a man and being an OBGYN, I'm like, "But how do you know?" - No, I'm calling it, please. - I'm like, "How do you know?"
- No, no, no. And I'm sure there's so many lovely nice men who are OBGYNs, but I'm, like,
I can never explain it to you.
- No. - I think this should be legal. Sorry, I didn't get any of that because it's breaking up, but I'm just like, going with it. - Oh, fuck.
You guys, my internet's breaking up! Is it still breaking up? Okay, you know what? I'm gonna move. I'm gonna move.
Oh, wait. - I lost internet. - Wait. Can you hear me now? - Yeah.
- Okay. - I watched the Michael Jackson movie. - Oh, you did. What do you think? - Is it the guy?
His cousin? Or, like, his, the guy who played Michael Jackson? He's, like, related to him, I think. - Is he? - Yeah.
That's why it's so interesting. And, sorry, I thought he was spectacular in it. - Spectacular. - Great acting, great singing, great dancing. I mean, I don't know if the singing was real,
but the dancing was like, I couldn't give my eyes off this guy.
“I'm like, I think we have the new Michael Jackson.”
- Are you with Michael Jackson, like, take, like, take him out of it? Are you, like, a Michael Jackson music fan? - I think I'm just, like, a normal, like, yeah, Michael Jackson, everyone knows Michael Jackson.
He's great. - You're out to watch the movie.
I went to my parents, and I'm, like, when beat it first dropped,
what was that, actually? Like, do you guys lose your fucking minds when beat it dropped? And they were, like, yeah. And I'm, like, 'cause also it wasn't like, you know, now we get, like, a little notification, like,
someone's albums on Spotify, and you don't click it. Like, back then it was, like, Michael Jackson. That was, like, the number one news for, like, a year. When he dropped the song. - Well, it also, like, moves.
He started, like, almost like, a whole new genre. Like, the music sounded so different. Yeah, like, what was the vibe when beat it dropped? Like, imagine clubbing, and hearing that for the first time. - No, I was, like, where the boombox is,
just, like, all Michael Jackson, also thriller. The fact that he creatively came up with that. Like, he was, like, I'm gonna do makeup, like, I'm dying. And then I'm gonna, like, ever, like, am I lagging?
- Mm-hmm. - Oh my god. - It's okay. I do think there's a part two about, like, all the other shit that went down.
Because it ended, like, there's more to, did you see the ending? - Yeah, I saw the ending, but, like, I'm so annoyed by, like, the movie and television industry, because we went away from network TV and going to the movies. Okay, fine. You got us away from that. Now we're streaming everything that we're barely even going to the movies.
Stop breaking things into two parts.
Stop putting out eight episodes and acting like you did a whole season.
“And then taking two years for the next season to come out and stop breaking up longer seasons.”
Oh, okay, you have 15 episodes, stop giving me six. And then telling me I have to wait till November for the rest of them. Get it together, like, wicked doing two parts, ridiculous.
Ridiculous, we didn't need the second part.
The Michael Jackson thing, okay, there was a lot of stuff you probably could have taken out of the first one. We don't need a second part, give me one movie. Anyway, that's a real, because I'm sick of it. I'm sick of streaming platforms being like, okay, you'll get the next part in six months. No, fuck you. I want to know. Oh, fuck.
Can you guys hear me? It's funny because I feel like it is. Can you hear me now? Sorry, it's froze. Like the rant is so funny with no one's saying anything back.
Can you hear me now?
“Okay, we're, I think we're going to wrap up today's, I think you're going to wrap up today's episode.”
Okay, I've never wrapped up the episode before.
I feel like that's all the time that we have for today. We'll be back on Monday. Don't forget to get our merch. Hannah will be childless by then. See ya. And I'm back.
Lost page. It's hard being a mother. And that's what we learned today.
“To be a queer woman and a loving mother.”
It's hard to have it all. But you know what, and spite of all that. We still finished the pod with her head to held high. And if you're a new giggler. This is called just a day in the life of being a giggler.
We're very better at admin. And if you're an old giggler, you knew that was going to happen. And you knew that we weren't going to be able to figure that out. But we persist and we deal with adversity. And I hope you guys have the most beautiful weekend ever.
And that is literally so page. It's literally what we do on FaceTime calls. We get cut off and like having her from her sense. Might not hear from her. Oh, we can. We'll see.
Actually, no, she just sent me a voice note about something completely unrelated. But we love you. Page loves you. Keep smiling, San Diego.
Never saw that in my life.
