Giggling about pranks, perfectionism, and dance anxiety

I have heard you will have a mobile phone call, but so simply let you not come from there.

Who is with your ex ex-girls dreaming? My second baby? No, I'm going to leave you alone. No, I'm just a dream. With mobile phone in real life,

“Frank, from the beginning of the "Owner Mindest" contract,”

for 10 euros in Monat. Frank? No. Frank. In Greece and in the day of presenting,

Jobs, by the time you don't have a lot of love, today, I'm a bit nervous. But I'm sorry. What is this? It's a lot of fun.

It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.

In Greece.

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We've been really horse-seemed recently. I'm not sure why. You created a lot of backlash. We have a horse team in Texas. It's called the Mavericks.

You don't bitch. You can't just say that to me. You've created a lot of backlash. That will put me into the literal spiral. That's the kind of backlash I love to have.

Lake, oh my God. I wouldn't let Page start the podcast. I'm trying to put together the perfect text message. That's a name drop. To Maria Sharbova.

I would say everything. It's either way to love you, or not giving it the justice it deserves. How old is she? Is she average?

This is the thing. She raised me. But she's only like three years older than me. Because she won Wemble Dance 17. Is she the youngest woman to win?

There were younger, like 15, 16 year olds. There was a time where girls were winning. Pretty young, but she came in and beat Serena Williams. In the final Wemble Dance 17 years old, and everyone's like a star is born.

It was Lady Gaga. How old was Serena Williams at the time?

“I think in her 20s, but it was her problem.”

Wow. So everyone was like, oh Serena has got this girl. No, yeah. I'm like, so processing yesterday. But let's before we get into it.

I'm just trying to think, like, wait. What's the greatest thing I ever did at 17? And I think it was, like, that was the year that everyone was, like, page can do hair. Well, like, you could do other people's hair? Yeah.

But I really couldn't. But for whatever reason, I was on the prom circuit. Oh, so you just had good PR. You weren't actually, was all smoke at me. You got lucky once, and then you ran like wildfire.

I had phenomenal PR in high school. If I could run back my PR from high school, then I was in the serious, no one really knew. Does she drink? We don't know.

Does she have a boyfriend? She's very candid. What was the hair? You're go to hairstyle. Like, when a girl came up to you,

it was like, I need my hair done. You were like, this is the page look. Okay. I'm not kidding. I straight up was a consultant.

In, like, my senior year of high school girls would come to my locker. Be like, this is the dress. What are the shoes accessories in the hair? And I'd be like, you're smoking a cigarette. You're like, okay.

Pulled to the side, cascading. Are you following me? I'm like, not a necklace that will be detrimental to your well-being. It's an earring. It's a larger earring.

It's a bracelet and a shoe. We don't see the shoe. It's a clear looser. Like, I would go off. I think you need a consult with my sister, Majini,

because Lois, she's taking it next level. She refused to wear her soccer jersey, because she said it was too big and ugly. Well, Ben, they're done that. I quit.

I quit T-ball. Okay. I said, mom, what the hell is this? I said, no, I'm not going. Lois is me.

I am Lois. Well, you want to know what is funny. I got tagged. I kept getting tagged in this Instagram, like, real.

So, like, finally, I'm watching in this mom being, like,

my daughter's going to her first day of kindergarten, and I'm freaking out because she picked out an outfit, and I'm scared that the teachers are going to be, like, you're a bad mom, basically. So, I'm, like, watching this video, watching this.

I'm, like, waiting for the outfit. I'm, like, it's going to be something crazy, like, a bathing suit and all this stuff. I see the outfit.

“I go, honey, you should take notes from your daughter.”

That is the perfect, first day outfit I've ever seen. It's called editorial. I go, it's giving classy, it's giving professional, but it's giving whimsy.

Like, I'm, like, I think your daughter's going to be thinking your daughter's worried about you, babe. I think I think she's worried how you're going to show up to bring her on her first day. Now, when I was a child, I didn't have that angst,

because my mom, like, she would walk in as, like, a shaperone for, like, a field trip,

and I would be, like, you other bitches could never.

Like, juice, I would literally look at other girls and be, like, do you see your mom? Look at my mom. Okay. And we're not the same here.

She's wearing high heels to the apple orchard. We aren't the same. We aren't the same.

“I'll never forget that bitch's apple orchard outfit.”

I couldn't believe she showed up in it. It was perfect. I can't believe her friends, because I literally, like, two years ago, I started being, like, oh, I should put an outfit together.

It's not my whole life. I quit cheerleading my senior year, because I wanted to put outfits together for the Friday night football games. I literally go, I can't be a cheerleader anymore.

I have to be creative. No, you've missed very important zoom meetings because you're planning your outfits for the week. I'm like, if it wasn't on my schedule, I can't just jump to it.

Oh my god, wait. So, when did you fly to Venice? Okay, what day is it? It's Monday. Because I know you had to leave yesterday,

but, like, it all gets confusing. You know, we get through on when page was overseas. I flew, fresh. Sunday night. My flight was at 9 PM.

I flew 9 PM landed here Monday morning. But really it was like 11 a.m. here, but it was like 5 a.m. your time. I couldn't sleep on the flight at all, and that is so not me.

So, when I was landing, I started like having a panic attack

“that I didn't have, like, sleep deprivation,”

and I'm gonna, like, pass out, and I'm like, it's gonna be so hot, and then, like, I have to take a boat transfer, and, like, what if I get nauseous? Honestly, I'm so dramatic.

No, but everyone talks about I'm going to Europe. I'm going to Europe, and I'm, like, it's stressful. No, my body really doesn't need to act.

Let me, here's the thing about Venice,

and I've only been here for a couple hours and most of it in my room, because I fell asleep. They're not kidding that you take a boat everywhere. I thought it was a bit. I thought it was a, well, I thought it was, like, optional boat,

and then, like, you could, like, you can walk around. I thought the gondola was, like, time square, like, you can see Elmo if you want to. I thought it was optional. Okay, no cars, there's no cars.

Wait, did you have to, have to paddle? No, like, you just get, like, this little, like, cigarette boat. There's literally spot, it looks, like, bus stops. But it's for boats. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's, I've never been here before. I am, I feel like I'm in a movie. It's quite literally the prettiest place I've ever been. Obviously, I've been to Capri a bunch. This is a different type of beauty.

Like, Capri feels very vacation. This is, like, Italy. Yeah, this is, like, oh, my god, my ancestors. I was going to say, now you're with your people. I do love that you go to the same vacation every year,

because it's, like, no drama. You know, it's going on, but I'm, like, let's see some culture. Let's see some things. My dad would be dying. He'd be, like, but Capri's right over there.

Why don't we just go? Also, this hotel room, the wooden clanks on the, like, it's already aesthetic, or vibing with it. Wait, I want to, like, give to you. I want to, like, give you a toilet.

The audio people love those. The bathrooms in there. And then, like, back there is, like, the toilet. I'm going to be honest, the way they set it up. The function, right?

Not the smartest. Italians don't do function, right? No, Italians don't do that. The bathroom is bigger than, like, the bedroom part. Which I'm, like, honestly fine.

You could have used that the last, like, how many vacation? Yeah, I could have used this massive tub. There's two tubs in there. It's Venice is a very, it feels very honeymoonish. Ooh.

“The only thing is, it's, you're not swimming in that water.”

Like, I was like, oh, do people jump in this? And they were like, no, that's disgusting. You don't swim in the Venice water. So I feel like it's not, like, I don't consider that it to be a vacation.

If I'm not putting my bathing suit on and getting going in water. Hmm. Any time people are like, oh, I'm going on a ski vacation. I'm going, I'm like, no, you're going on a ski work trip. That's a work trip.

Though the shit you got a pack and put on, that's work. Talk about accessories. Don't get me started. We did not, we haven't skied because Does tourist ACL, because I create for it.

Um, and here we are. You want to know what?

We probably never will again.

Because now we're with two men that have zero interest in it. They both have new problems. Yeah, if we want to go on a ski vacation, we'll have to be just a two of us. I think it would be like, we book a show in Aspen

And we shop one of the days.

“And one of the days we like drink car chocolate.”

Done. Glad we got that out. Glad we got that out. I can't believe you're fucking Italy right now. I know. I'm like, I can't believe it, but um,

I was gallanting all weekend. Where? I, I feel like I saw that. I didn't check your location, but I saw your Instagram story and you were glam and you were here and you were there.

No, I was, you guys, this is my make-all of the US opening. You know that. And this was my weekend. I did a Lou Lemon Party. Um, and then after the party,

I went to another party. Who does that? You know what's crazy about friends? You're, you're, this is, it's a pyramid, right? They'd definitely, oh, and at the top.

Did you ever watch dance moms?

I actually know I've never watched an episode dance moms.

Wow, that was really bratty. You've got it. Some of the best reality TV. You've got a, um, you're at the top of the pyramid. You trickle down, everyone knows about you, everyone talks about you.

When anyone asks anything, they have to consider you involved. And everyone tells me, we'll be told to you anyway. To some people, I'm an imaginary friend. They've never seen me. They've just heard about me.

But you feel your presence always next to me. Yeah. Like it's like a post. So those people just talk to you when they're with me. They're like, can you tell page?

And I'm like, Or they'll just ask me about you. And I'm just like, you're a vessel to me. I'm a literal vessel. I'm spiritual vessel.

Um, but then I have these like, I have my comedy friends who have saved my life. Like comedy friends when I'm with them. You know, when you just feel like, Oh, these are my people.

Like they make fun of everything. Can I give you a compliment? Yeah. You pick great friends. How many bad people have I introduced you to?

Some of the worst people you've ever met. I've introduced you.

You have, you always find genuine, nice women.

Do you know my mom early on? I remember middle school. I was like complaining about something and she was like, What if you hung out with people who like do you? Okay.

And I was like, that's heavy. I'm seven years old. That's heavy for the fifth grade. Yeah. I'm like, well, they just don't like me because they don't know me yet.

And they haven't seen the sides of me. Thank you. That's such a nice thing to say. I do think I'm definitely quality over quantity. And also I am better one-on-one. I'm not that great in the group setting.

Yeah. I just feel like any one you've introduced me to. I've genuinely been like, whether or not I've kept a friendship with them or not. I've genuinely been like, that's a really good person. A great example is Haley. Haley's a perfect example of someone where I'm just like,

That's probably one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. That's a little angel. Because the friends who keep around you, like their energy, I don't know if this is where it would be like bleeds on to you. And like I cannot have like dirty fake weird vibes.

Yeah. Close me at all. It's like, I'm just like really sensitive and I'm just like, Yeah. Where, like, I'm like, you can handle more than me. Because you could disassociate.

“I think she's associate path. Let's find out.”

And like, do you think she'll skin me and wear me and then date my boyfriend? Let's see. Let's think I was there for a year just to get to the bottom of it. I love the fun, crazy girlfriend to live by care. See, through, but a lot of them, I don't care what they do.

I like when they're heart, their heart is there totally. And then I met the comedy friends. And I was like, oh, these are my people. This is, they are joking, but everything they're able to be self aware and laugh at themselves. I'm like, I love this.

But then I forget like, I have so many friendships from the tennis world that like, I just haven't rekindled because I haven't seen. And after I flew lemon party, there was this other party called The Rocket Mag Party. Yeah. The tag party.

I'm ready. And I was with, um, I am, who is Francis Diapos, girlfriend who like played Dennis for UCLA. Madison Appell shot out, who, um, was number one for Indiana. Like I'm just with like most badass tennis girls ever.

And I'm like, it's so funny how you, you have different identities. And like in that moment, I was like tennis high night again. I was like, we're just, we're just, we're just athletes. Some former division one athletes who have, make it their whole personality.

I feel like society kind of teaches you. You have one friend group and that's your friend group. And if you don't stay friends with them for the rest of your life, you're kind of a bad person because they've known you.

“When in reality, I think it's so much nicer to have different,”

also in your 30s. It's so different having friends in your 20s.

But it's also funny how many people from the beginning,

“like come back around because they were that girl.”

Like the people who are meant to stick around will. You don't have to force friendships with people from when you're a little. Right. What's crazy with tennis dough is like, we weren't friends. We actually fucking hated.

Right. Like, hey, imagine you, it's similar to you with all the other models that you'd see in your child modeling. How you were like, I'm trying to put it in your perspective. I was gonna say like, when I see people from other reality shows

that I have nothing to do with, I feel like we already have a connection because we both did a reality show. Yes. But back then, I would see all these girls' names on the draw. It was just like, they were standing between me and my dreams.

Right. Okay. I literally had to fight them for a spot. Yeah. The girl that beat me out for the Barbie commercial

who then got her own show on Nickelodeon. Yeah. Yeah. They go like a ton of Victoria justices in the room. And there were some that I got along with really well, but it was still like

looked down upon to like be good friends with girls. It was almost like you were weak. Like you weren't tough and you weren't scary. Yeah.

“You had to walk in and everyone need to be scared of you.”

And you know that's not my vibe. So if you were at a tournament and it was like, would you go into like a girls locker room? You would love the vibe of a tournament. Everyone has their own outfit.

Like you get to wherever you want. And you walk in and you're with like your dad or your coach. And you just wait around for your name to be called. And then you and the girl don't say where to each other. Get the balls and go on the court and battle it out.

So where are you prior to the court waiting? You're just like in a tennis club. So like you're all just like got it. Not talking to each other in the tennis club waiting. And like you're warming up.

Sometimes you intimidate people by like doing some crazy warm-up. Was there ever like fights in terms of outfits?

Or like she always wears her hair?

Like, well, there would be like every now and then a girl would like get sponsored by night. So like the girls like got sponsored by Nike or Adidas like one day they'd walk in like wearing the outfit that like Marisha Pover just wore it to you.

So open and you were like, oh, she's that girl. Oh, okay. Because she got attention from brands. Yeah, wow. Okay, okay.

So like she was wearing all the best stuff. We're sometimes you know me. I'd be sure to tell you this tournament's wild. But the Sophie short and like a ripped shirt. Are there any rules on things you can't wear?

I don't believe you're not wearing a baggy t-shirt. I don't believe so. There's some rules like in tournaments where like you can't wear logos that are too big and Wimbledon you have to wear white. But like, when Wimbledon you have to wear all white.

You knew that. I did it. You knew that. Maybe I knew that and it was deep in my brain. But I loved that.

“I think that's why you first fell in love with the sport.”

And you forgot how you first fell in love with it.

Well, I think I first fell in love that I realized it was all grass. Like it was all greenery. Once you run me, I love a plant. And I love oxygen. I go it's giving wedding a static.

I love it's giving the background of a brunch wedding. Has anyone ever gotten married at Wimbledon? That's a really good question. It's also very, you like it because it's like impossible to become a member of the Wimbledon tennis club. Like you have to win Wimbledon to be like invited.

Or you have to be like, your dad had to like invent London to stress yourselves. You like the exclusivity of it. Yeah. So many long story short. I welcome to Racken Mag Party.

And you know me. It's like no longer party. I'm like we got to get out of here. Yeah. But immediately I see some kid.

Guy Gary, who I literally trained with in Brooklyn. And he's just like Hannah. I'm like Gary. And then I'm Gary. I see this guy.

Gary, who played on the beacon voice tennis team with me. Runed up to me gives me a bear hug. And immediately I'm like a kid again, just like a tennis player. Like I cry talking about it. And I'm just seeing all these faces.

Then I'm seeing these girls who like, I, their tennis influencers now. Who I follow. And I'm like, I know you played for UCLA. Like this girl Chanel.

And I'm like, I've always like looked up to you.

And she's like, I saw your name in the draws too. Like it's so cool. What you're up to when I'm like. Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like?

Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Do you know what I'm like? Oh, I know. It was a lot, but a good girl came up to me.

She was like, "Hey, what are you doing here?" It's actually is funny when you see gigglers out in the wild doing the most mundane thing. No, she was like, "What are you doing?" 'Cause random family wedding right now. And you know what I'm like?

You know what I'm like? That's nice though that dead doesn't drink, so he could drive home. I do have to say shout out to a dozen eight and the other they did. But it didn't put on dolly part in the whole ride. And he's like obsessed with dolly part.

And just like saying dolly part.

And he talks about how amazing she is the whole time.

Honestly, after 30 minutes, that pissed me off. To out, to what I have hours of dolly part in the world. Okay, Jesus. By the way, I sat in the back and sat in the front. They were like, "Hey, I caught a ride.

I went full Uber driver." They tried talking to me. I was like, "Nothing, you know, talk."

“Just, you have to lay down on your headphones on.”

Lay down, didn't say a word. They were like, "Are you okay?" And I was like, "I put no talking." I was like, "No talking on the Uber app." Like, "Please leave me alone."

So, yeah, the wedding was fun. I did a little dancing, speeches. But I just, you went to more weddings this summer than me. I'm so sick of weddings. I really, there's literally, I don't want to go to any weddings next year.

I have one wedding. My girlfriend, Ariana, next summer in Greece. That is like the only wedding I want to go to. From now, tell them. It was a church wedding too.

And I haven't been in church in a minute. Long, long sermons. Can I say something that's like a bit controversial? And like, people might look at me differently. But I'm just going to like, speak my truth.

You love a church wedding. I do love a church wedding. I definitely will have a church wedding as someone who like travels with rosary beads. Yeah, obviously.

I actually was packing my bag to go to the airport and I was like, Hannah would die laughing. I have like a rosary beads case with rosaries in them

“and like a little hanker chip that my grandma gave me”

that I think was her mom. That's beautiful. So I have that. But then I also have another rosary bead case that has this like little charm lock on it.

That my grandpa gave me. And I travel with both those items. And I used to keep them in my car because I feel like wherever I go. They protect me anyway.

That's like a non even. That's a whole other podcast. That's a whole another podcast. At weddings. I, and like I've been obviously

I've been to family weddings. I've been to like close friends weddings. I've been to like, I'm the plus one. I don't know anyone at this wedding. It does not matter what the wedding is.

I don't feel comfortable dancing. Ever. I don't care who I'm with. I don't care who my date is. I don't care like how comfortable I am at the wedding.

I don't think you are. It doesn't really ever cross my mind to get on the dance floor. Am I wedding at some point? There was like a crazy grind line where someone's feet were being held in the air.

And like there was, and you were. I remember seeing you just like. You were just editing. That's insane. I have a traumatizing wedding dance story.

It's not that traumatizing. But I just remember I was like 17. And you know like actually that's like the weirdest age to be at a wedding because you're like so weird. I just remember being like, I don't want to dance.

Like I was like, you want to dance and you're like, Oh, I was going to work too. And I tried to dance. I think and then I like came down and sat down. And my mom was on the dance floor and I was sitting with my dad

and my dad goes, look, come on dances. He goes, you see how she moves her hips?

“That's how you need to learn how to dance.”

And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, maybe it's because I don't think consider myself a dancer. Like I don't consider myself a good dancer. That maybe that's my insecurity.

But then I look at people and I'm like, okay, well, I could dance as well as that person. So it's not that. I just think it's like, I don't know what it is in me that I'm just like, I don't want to.

No one talks about dance anxiety. It's so fucking real. And I feel it.

The second I hit the dance floor.

I'm like, everyone's staring at me right now. And then I'm like, oh, I didn't hit everyone's staring at me. Didn't hit that. And then like bad bunny comes on and I'm like, oh, no, I'm innocent.

I don't know if I can. Yeah, I just like feel I feel more comfortable being like at the bar in mingling. Yeah. Then I do going on the dance floor.

You guys know, does love dancing? Does he? He did dancing with the stars in Ireland. You guys should all Google it. It's a crazy era in his life.

So when you get to a wedding and you see, like, okay,

Yeah. So then I was talking to a good girl, obviously. And I'm looking at him. The dance floor going crazy, starting to sweat waving me over. I'm pretending I can't see him.

And he keeps on getting me over dying in that moment. And I'm like in a deep conversation with the good girl. And I'm like, yeah, mom is working right now.

And then finally, I'm like, fine, as I go over the crowd.

Like, he's everyone's like, yeah, come in. They start opening it. Next you know, I'm in the middle of a circle. No. And I look at him in the eye.

Like my eyes were scared. I was like, I did not sign up to be the middle of the circle. I signed into like, beyond the side dancing. Middle of the circle so scary. Because only move I have is the worm.

Otherwise, like, what are you doing the most? And you can bust out the worm at not a close friend's wedding. This is Daisy's friend's wedding. This is not even my friends. You know, like my friends wedding.

Anything I do they're like, now that was funny, Hannah. This is who what the fuck's going on. Who let that girl dance for? Even though your his wife, essentially as a plus one at a wedding,

I feel like it's your duty to kind of like, I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out.

I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out.

I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out.

I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. I don't think you should stand out. But look, if you have fun, you have fun. Totally.

“There's some people that you should hire for your weddings.”

That are just really good wedding guests. They add to the vibe. It takes one person to make a wedding fun. Hannah, I was thinking about that because I was like, I don't for my own future wedding.

I don't want to kill the vibe of the dance floor. And I was like, what if I just hired actors? That were like dancers that got people today. In the mountains, we met Maurice through Southampton Social.

And he is the most fun, amazing guy ever who I stayed in touch with.

And from my wedding, obviously he was invited. When I tell you he made my wedding. Yeah. Like Maurice was the DJ, the host, the dancer, the creator. Like he did everything.

Who was your DJ? I don't remember who did your DJ. I got like a cool girl DJ. And the music was good. Anyway.

Oh my god. It was a good. Hannah, it feels so long ago. I was like, was that when a wedding is like, I don't even remember you guys.

I picked the first dress. I picked out in a strip mall. Like this was a different time. That was like a fever dream. Like I know where that is.

You're married. Wait, I got announced yesterday. There were like a next is Hannah Burner who resides in the Lori side with her cat butter. And I was like, definitely have a husband.

Wait, I have a question. Does does ever set anything?

“Have you ever had a conversation about changing your last name?”

We've talked about the concept of it, but he knew. I mean, we've talked to him. Yeah. I was like, can our kids have my last name? Oh, would you?

Okay. Okay. That took a one step further. Okay. As someone who has thought about changing my last name my whole life.

Like literally even when I was like 10 years old, I'd be like, and isn't it crazy?

I won't always be page to Sorba.

It was so different. I literally was like, my name is Burner. It'll always be Burner and I was going to take that for me. I'd be like, what do you think my last name will be? Be.

And my mom would be like, I don't know. But right now it's just Sorba. Now at 33. Honey, I'm page to Sorba. I am no one else.

I am page to Sorba and those kids can have his last name fine. I don't really even know those kids yet. So I am fine with that. But my name. I don't want to change it anymore.

Which I never thought, No, even if you asked me like five years ago, Are you going to change your last name? And we're like, well, yeah. It's so crazy.

You've changed a lot over the last three years. Through this podcast. I've changed a lot. I've changed a lot through this podcast. When I did Morgan Stewart,

I was talking about our tour and how like transformational. It was for me as a woman. Our tour and your bachelor at party were two really stupid in my womanhood. Because you did a photo shoot, the whole bachelor. I just felt myself.

You were like, I just felt like it was finally time for everyone to celebrate me. Yeah, it was like finally my time to shine.

“You know, I'll never forget that green sparkly dress.”

I think about that green sparkly dress all the time. I can't find that. You're like, finally women embraced me as... Yeah, that's truly... And you were there.

People were re-listening to the pod from the beginning. Yeah. And I was like, are we like a really fucking stupid in the beginning?

And I'm like, have we actually evolved and changed at all? And she was like, not really? No. And thank God. And thank God.

“Imagine now, imagine we like evolved into like this is like a news pod cast or something?”

No. Even like when we have children, like, I don't want to talk about them. No. They're going to be like, does. We're like, they'll be mentioned.

Yeah, like, we'll know about them. There's a lot of wellness brands out there that often green wash their products. And that means that they try and make it seem like it's more natural or clean than they really are.

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“I heard you want your mobile phone, but you don't have to come from here.”

Who is with your XXL Streaming app? My second time, baby? No, I'm going to leave you alone. Just an old dream. With mobile phone in real life, Frank.

From the beginning to the beginning, the contract has been approved.

For 10 euros a month. Frank, no, Frank. Every night, I wish you the same thing. The Koo X-Shown, the bed 1, mattress and the bed room. So, the night is so dark.

Now, online, I'll be on bed 1.D. I went to the US Open last night, and when you get there now, like, the US Open wasn't like this. Now, it's like, you get out. There's immediately a red carpet. And someone asked me, like, interview was like, "Where's Paige?"

And I was like, "Pages and Venice. She couldn't make it. She was supposed to be here with me." But I ended up watching the Novak joke of it's match, and he like, "Poop the whole time." Wait, I saw that on my Instagram.

Yeah, we're sitting there watching. The headline was like, "His body betrayed him." I was like, "Okay, but when I do it, it's like maybe your week." No, I like, he walked to the side, and I'm like, "I can see him from there." And I'm like, "He just paved."

And it says, "There's no way he just paved." I saw a water come out in this mouth. Wow, I wonder what was going on? Dehydration, who knows? But it was like, just watching a man.

Maybe he was anxious. Looks like he was going to faint, like, the whole thing. So, but it was beautiful. It was very hard on that. And he lost five sets.

No, in five sets, it was a five hour match. He didn't even get to see Venus Williams. We had to leave because it was passed. Does it's bedtime? Oh, my God, what time did they go on?

Like, at midnight. Also, Venus is like in her 40s. They made a grown at midnight. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah.

And then played for how long? Probably two hours. No. No, tennis is the sport is insane. Why wouldn't they just be like, "Okay, back to my own morning?"

Because there's a whole schedule, and it affects the whole draw. But Venus definitely was like, "Are you fucking kidding?" Yeah, I feel like that's like a crazy disadvantage. Well, but no other sport. I mean, golf takes forever.

Yeah, but like, it's not the same kind of physical stuff. Tennis, you could play a five hour match. Just you running for five hours. Thank you so much for bringing that out. Because I saw this golf thing the other day.

They were interviewing someone. And it was like a golfer that I'd recognize. But I saw an interview with him. Oh, my God. He got so old.

I guess I haven't seen him in like years, whatever. I don't even know what this name is. It's irrelevant. But then they were showing like other golfers that are like top golfers right now. And I'm like, "I'm like wait a minute."

“I look in the mirror every single day and I look at my body and I think,”

"How could you be better?" And that's the play that women have to bear. That's the burden that we live with.

And I'm looking at these men and I'm like, "Never once you thought."

Hmm. I'm a professional athlete. Maybe I'll lay off the Oreos this week. I mean, it's shocking, Hannah.

Is there another sport where you don't have to be physically fit at all? I mean, at all. These men, I'm like, "How many beers you put down last night?" That is a crazy gut. If I've ever seen one, you're only 35.

What is your excuse? I'm going to have an argument.

“If you have to wear a belt when you play, it's not a real sport.”

And I'm going to concur with that as someone who's never played a sport,

but has worn a belt. I can go. And I love golf, but it's more of a sport skill than a full sport. I just feel like if there's a chance. Not saying I would win.

But if there's a chance, I could beat you in a race. I don't think that you're a professional athlete. Okay, you're very fast. You're very fast. You're very fast.

Okay. As the fastest girl on the fourth grade. I understeam that. But I just thought it was good. I was just looking at them.

And I was like, oh my god, it must be so nice to be a professional male golfer. Because you don't have anybody dysmorphia at all. And you don't have. You don't have like a body standard. You also get to just like.

Fuck off your family for seven hours because you're. Fuck off doing a job and playing with your boys.

And then traveling the world and like never calling your kids.

It's kind of crazy. But anyway. I recorded a podcast with Maria Sharapoli yesterday and I'm still processing. I saw that on your Instagram. So it was a live recording of a pod.

Yeah. So your outfit was. Oh my god. Thank you. It was a Zimmerman set that I found out.

You looked like a professional tennis player who was coming to give a talk. So I'm such a nerd that I was like, I know Maria Sharapoli's fashion style. Like, even in this era of her life. Like, I know what she likes to wear. And I was like, she would wear this and I walked in.

And she complimented my outfit.

“And I was like, honestly, I was trying to channel you.”

And she immediately searched joking. She's like, I mean, I would have tucked in the shirt. And immediately I'm like, I fucking love her. This isn't Maria Sharapoli by the way. This is one of the greatest test players to ever play the game.

Who raised me, even though she's like three years old than me. If someone ever said that to me, I would have started crying. No, no. We immediately start bus taking to those balls because look, when you meet really famous people, they're all kind of energies that you got.

Totally. And I, you leave the room sometimes being like, well, like, I didn't even make eye contact with that. Yeah, like, that was weird. That was scary. Like, they really did not want to make eye contact with me.

And then you think it's your fault. Like, I think I threw up after I interviewed Martha Stewart. I was like, that was the scariest thing I've ever done in my fucking life. And by the way, Maria Sharapoli is known to be like intimidating on the court. That's her whole thing.

Like, she never smiles. She's, she's got the Slavic energy. She's, she's serious. Yeah. Strongest mental.

She's incredible. And I immediately were like joking and laughing. And then I didn't realize it.

It was our first ever live show.

Her first ever live podcast. Oh, wow. This is so Maria Sharapoli. Sharapoli wasn't nervous at all. Like, just didn't even mention to me. Just standing there.

Do you think there's any tennis players that take beta blockers? I don't know if you could do it like during a physical activity like tennis. I don't know if it affects like the oxygen to your brain. Interesting. Because I've thought about it.

But I think they're on like SSRI's for sure. I need to know what the professional athletes are doing when they get anxious. Also, Maria Sharapoli. So savage. The podcast begins. She's interviewing me.

Which, by the way, is the weirdest thing ever. And she goes, this is so quote from you. I'm now in stand-up comedy, but my dream was to win Wimbledon. I go, okay. Okay, right to the heart.

So then I just look at her and I go, um, yeah, what was it like to win Wimbledon? And she goes, felt pretty fucking good. And we just literally made that show. A year type of friend. I knew I was going to be enamored by her.

I didn't know I was going to fucking vibe with her. Like the chemistry was just so fucking fun. Like I just wanted her not be annoyed by me. And then you got into, I was like, She felt like I was with a sister.

I don't mean to like make you jealous.

“No, it's okay because that's how I felt about Morgan Stewart.”

About Martha Stewart. Martha definitely didn't vibe with me. That's for sure. That's on camera. Martha was disgusted by me.

But when I met Morgan, I was like so nervous. And then I was like, wait, we're friends. I was like, we have the same personality. When someone makes you feel like you could be yourself, how like immediately you stop being a weirdo.

And yeah, I spent an hour with her and like, just the fact she had, if you Google Martha on Mars.

Yeah. Her fashion is next level. She also came on like she's blonde. She's like the six to Russian. But she like knew herself and ever girl wanted to be

Marisha. But growing up. Did she grow up in Russia or she grew up here? She was born in Russia and then out of very young age. Her parents like put all their money into it.

Like imagine being like we're putting everything into this like six year old girl. And I was with her manager, her agent. He's been her agent since she was 11 years old. Oh my god.

I was like, how did you know she was the one? He's like, I looked at the tense academy and you knew you're like, she's going to do it. And like four years, five years later, she won one by one. Wow.

Good for her. But it's crazy. She's 39 and she's lived so much life. Yeah. Oh.

Okay.

So Chelsea handlers always been friends with Marisha Blava.

And like I would see Chelsea handler in her box watching her matches. And I thought it was like the coolest thing. I've talked about this, but like I just need to reiterate. And then Marisha Blava on the pod. It comes out on Wednesday.

Pretty tough pod. But she tells the story that is so funny about Chelsea handler, which is so Chelsea goes to the Olympics in London like 10 years ago with her. Now, for Chelsea, obviously, this is the vacation. This is fun.

We're drinking pens. Yeah. And she puts her in the player's box. Now, in the player's box, at the front is the coaches who are like coaching, right? Right.

She says she looks at her player's box. Chelsea handlers next to her coach. Yapping, cracking jokes, making fun of him drinking. Probably on drugs. Leaving, coming back, like, just chaos.

And Marisha Blava was like, what is she doing? But she airpover wins the match. And it's like, super sister.

“So she's like, hey, Chelsea, you have to do that for the next.”

But the whole tournament, you have to sit there. So then Chelsea stays the whole tournament. And in the finals, she airpover loses to Serena. And she said, Chelsea came up to her afterwards and said, what the fuck was that?

Oh, my gosh. What do I do? Shout out to Go's Go's, because that is the kind of support I want to have for. Yeah, shout out to women in sport and women supporting women in sports and Chelsea handler. And Chelsea, and by the way, Chelsea, she is that girl like she's that person who will support you even if she's drunk.

And that's important. And that's important. That's really important.

And we're not always in our right mind.

Because I've had a lot of people who get drunk and don't support me. I've had the exact opposite happen in pretty much every relationship I've been in. But anyway, now I'm trying to put together a text back to Merchett Pope. I don't know what to do. But like, I'll deal with that on my own time.

I love that. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for that dissertation. Yeah, I was really excited to tell everyone about it. Um, what are you excited for the next couple days? I'm very excited for the next couple of days.

Josephine has me, has a schedule for me running. She wants to see this. She wants to go here. She wants to try this restaurant. We should get pictures over here.

So I'm just like going to go buy her schedule. I flew in a day early. Then I needed to be here because I really. My body so sense. I really needed to just like relax and unpack my clothes and make sure I had all my outfits ready.

And like. One thing Hannah, there's no shower in my room. Because they want you to be. And eat like tortellini. There's two tubs next to each other.

Okay. Oh, they want you to hold hands with your romantic partner. Wait. So there's a bathroom over here, right? It's two tubs, two sinks.

You think, sure, where's the toilet?

“You have to come out of the bathroom round a corner.”

There's another bathroom just a toilet and a sink. And no shower. And no shower. I'm like, guys, you had so many opportunity. So many water lines are running through the space.

We have a bath. We have a toilet.

What should we do with a third walk?

Another bath. Another bath. I can't tell you the last time I bathed. I'm not to be there. I don't bath.

I'll do a hot tub. I'll live in a hot tub. You know, I try. I actually try and take a bath once a month. I think it's good.

Coming. I come from a household where my mom took a bath. Every single Saturday. Let's so come, coded. She got the bath going.

She did whatever her like, lotions and potions were. Mm-hmm. She shaved. She must have been going out. That little slut.

She must have been going out every Saturday night.

“Now that I think about it when I was younger.”

And she would do this before going out.

She'd get out of the tub and then she'd do her hair. And then she'd do her makeup.

“And I would just like, what is she doing?”

But now I like don't remember. Why is the mom's putting on lotion? Like the most comforting memory?

I think because that is the first woman you know.

Like, so like everything she does. Yeah, everything she does is like low key soothing to you. You know, Maria Sharpova, right? Like your mom, my mom. No, my little sister, Maria.

She was put a lot of times players are perfectionist. And she was saying that having a kid, she is one kid, is the one thing that's helped her with her perfectionism because she's like, you cannot control what's going on. Right. You can plan what you want.

You can try to make everything go as planned and go right. But the kid is just going to be like, go buck yourself. Do it. Yeah, do it every once. That's a non mom when you hear moms be like, it's horrible, but it's perfect.

And it's the worst. Yes, but it's the best. I think it's the challenges of it that actually help you grow. I'm trying to figure it out. Has a non mom.

Thank God.

I don't have the bandwidth right now.

Does anyone?

“I couldn't think of the worst thing to happen to me, then have a baby today.”

So once they were like, whatever you're going through, just be like, at least I'm not pregnant. And to all the figures that our pregnant was into this? You're perfect, we love you. Yeah, I'll pour one out for you tonight. You know what?

I have my mobile phone number. Your mobile phone number is too big for me. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number. I don't have a phone number.

“The past two seasons, we recorded it for an hour and a half.”

There were times where I could stop and we could reset. I got the break. Yeah. Cut things out. Add things.

Whatever. It's a very different vibe this year. We're alive. She knows the segments that we're doing. It's only for 30 minutes.

It's actually not that bad. We're chatting. We start talking about Daphne. She's like, oh my god, wait, I have a gift for you. And she just says, like, can someone get my bag?

And in my head, I'm like, wait, we're alive. And the eye know for a fact. The Amazon team is like, oh, what do we do? And I'm like, someone get her blue shells. So they get her bag and they bring it over.

And she's like, opening it and she like hands me this gift. And I open the gift. Hannah, she has a jewelry line. And she made me a ring with Kitty's face on it. It's like my new favorite ring.

And I put it on. She goes, your fingers are so skinny. And I said, thank you so much for noticing. She goes, no, no, really. I'm going to get you on the fit.

What is your ring size? I've never even. I go, well, it's a four. But she goes, what? Like, people think I'm lying when I say that.

But I'm, so anyway, me and Nikki Hilton have friendship rings with our cats on them. And tune into in bed with Paige. Just so I'm about my next guest in September. Well, it's up in the air. We'll see what happens.

How do you like interviewing live? It's more pressure because I feel like there's more pressure on me to like, think of something funny after. Because like, it's boring if you're just watching us talk about bed and you're not laughing. So I feel like I have to like add in jokes where when we tape it.

Sometimes I feel like I can think of a joke for longer when it's live. It's like, quick, and I'm like, this is this episode going to be boring. So I'm, it's a little bit nerve-racking, but I talk to myself for 30 minutes live all the time on Amazon.

But a lot of people are never, have never live.

Like, when else would they be live? Yeah. How many times can I say live? Jesus. Take a shot every time.

I feel also like sometimes with comedy. When you have a little pressure, you could be funnier. Because you don't have time to like overthink the joke. You just have to like get it the first time. After it was over, I was like, great.

And I never have to think about this episode again because it's already out there.

“Like, I don't have to be like, what are the teasers?”

What are we clipping? Like, it's done. I love that. I love that. Oh my god, we've had, we had two like crazy weekends.

I can't wait to see the Venice footage. And we're going to a fashion show together. Like a couple of one. Next Friday. You guys were doing fashion week for a day together.

Heck yeah. Friday we're going to the Veter Hof Show. Veter Hof Daddy excited. I've been a fan. You wore them on Fallon.

They're like, yeah. They look like one day by mail of a corset. And one day by you, you love Burderton. And that's where we combined. That's where we combined.

And that's our venn diagram. Because I love a little snatch in the waist. Um, but yeah, I'm excited for a day to be running around New York with you. I love the outfits that really accentuate the female body.

“I think that's like, I think that's where we love a corset.”

You love, like, show me your curbs. Yeah, showing a female body. Love it. Not a golf body. Not a male golf body.

Oh, someone DM me and they said that their, that all men's body standard is Mark Wahlberg. He's a man. That actually is a good one. But he's also five seven. And it gives them hope.

And it's also inspirational. We'd see one of here's something funny about men's golf. Always. They're not allowed to wear shorts. They have to wear pants because they don't like their knees.

Some of my knees are kind of white and pale. Who was like, okay, we're going to play the sport. But I swear to God, if I didn't wear one, we're short. I'm going to freak the fuck out. God, that's too many made up ridiculous loser rules.

My brother said that golf stands for gentlemen only ladies for venn. Is that true? No, but like, good, good definitely believes that. What does it sound for then? He probably made that up, but like, it's probably a coincidence.

And then like men ran with it.

“But do you know why was I played tennis with my old men the other week?”

And one of them was like, you know, I belonged to this like fancy tennis club. Like you should check it out. And he said what the club was and the other guy was like, are women allowed in that club? I felt like I was in high school tennis again on the boys team. Where I was like, do I have to fucking beat every single one of you?

Like when do we do our women allowed? We do that. It's still real. Like there are real things. Old school Hampton's clubs.

I remember I told you my best friend Becca, she's a lesbian and an incredible athlete.

And she's the first ever member of her golf club that is a woman. It's normally the husband that brings the wife. So they didn't know what to do with her. I don't know why it just sounded like. She's not a lesbian because she's incredible at being an athlete.

She's not an athlete because she's a lesbian. Okay. She's the chicken or the egg. She's very athletic and happens to also be a lesbian. But they're not correlated how dare you.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's crazy. They didn't know how to like submit her application because they were like, but who's the man? And she was like, I'm the man. I hate people.

I really do, I'm just like, you're stupid. That's crazy. On a lighter note, I just had to get a thought. You know, I like to just bring up a random thought every now and then. And my thought was, I thought I was going to have to keep an eye out more in my life for wopi cushions.

Really when you're younger, they really make it seem like at any time. They had a time to do it on wopi cushions. I haven't seen one wopi cushion in like a decade. We want to know what ain't shit funny about a prank these days. No one's pranking.

No one's pranking anymore. I think no one's pranking because shit is really shit. It's like, it's not funny. It's like we're in a haunted house. We don't have to like scare people already in the haunted house.

We don't have to do overtime. I also think it was pre-phone. We didn't have much on our phones. We were calling out a wopi cushion when you got someone on a wopi cushion. Like, that was game over.

Like, I was at the end of the night. We were like, and that's our closer. Where they come from?

Never once you have a memory of buying a wopi cushion.

They just always appeared at your house. Like you never got them. They were, one was just there.

It tasted like a condom.

And everyone would like blow it up.

And I was like, this is how COVID originated. Like started originating at least. It could be, the cause of your UTIs. I don't even know. But everyone's swab knobbing on it.

Like, no one's getting punked these days.

“Because life is, we got, we got, we got, we live in the show punked.”

And that's just what it is. We're pranking was like, the silliest, cutest thing back then. Pranking is so fun. All I did I feel like was like pranks. Like, I remember one time my grandma was like,

like, let, you can put saran wrap on the toilet. And I was like, fuck yeah. I'm doing it. Or like putting a rubber band around like the sink. So when you turn it on, like, the spicket thing,

like, sprays at you. Like, yeah, that's innocent fun. I should have added a goodger. Hugs, like an influencer. And they were like, my cortisol levels can't handle this right now.

I'm suing. I watched this girl make a video. I mean, so many people have made TikToks about it. But I watched this girl make a video who, like, I follow.

And, like, I've never met her in real life.

But she truly, with her whole chest, called herself women. Like, are called herself, no, needed to use women, but use the word woman. Like, okay, and there's a lot of woman. And I actually was like, I can't ever like another one of your videos again.

Because I do dumb shit. That's crazy. I love how that's where you drew the line. That's my life. That's my life.

No, the videos of the men not being able to read. Ah, also with pranks, like, we never fake to prank. Our shit was real. Nowadays, it's like, let's pretend that I'm surprising you. My boyfriend and I call it.

You know, it props. There's all these fake, couple prank videos. And I'm like, at one point after the 100th video, your husband, like, is this a prank that you're recording? [laughs]

Couples and pranks, different. I feel like, very different. Like, if that's your whole thing, I feel like I would start to, like, get annoyed. But it's fun for, like, some, like, randomly doing something,

or, like, I love, like, scaring people. Like, I love hiding behind a door. Like, bring a little school. That is savage. No, that is savage.

In a sin. Fine. I don't know when you get your brother. [laughs] Have you ever scared your cat?

No. You got to do it. You got to do it. If you have a cat at home, do yourself a favor. Call them.

Hide behind something. And kitty dies. Like, she literally gets so mad at me. I've fallen on the ground laughing because I've scared her so good.

She's like a human. She's like, she jumps back. And she looks, like, bitch, are you kidding? Bring some whimsy to your day. Find a cat and scare it.

“That's why I'm stressed about Halloween's around the corner.”

Sorry to bring that up. I know. What does it do? What difference isn't made for us? We're 34 years old.

When do we stop dressing up? We'd be great to stop. Also Halloween, like, then it's like my birthday is right then. Anytime someone says Halloween, I think of myself. Even though it's my mom's birthday on Halloween, I think of me.

Oh my god. You're as with such Scorpios.

I'm like, what an amazing birthday gift that must have been.

She was like, oh, just the best. You dressing up at Digivotas? No, me being born. Oh, like, it was her birthday. And then four days later, she had a baby.

And that is the story of the witch of Paige the Sorpo. How she was created. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. That is me. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

I got to go. Okay. We have to stop.

“We're going to, that's what we're going to end this thing.”

We love you guys so much. Thank you for getting with us. And we'll talk to you later. Bye.