Giggling about road rage, screenshots, and brooches

[MUSIC PLAYING] We can't be men. [LAUGHTER] I mean, the day just got away from me. What up, Michael, she'll get glurs.

It's the middle of the winter. We're on the grind.

“But the sun is starting to come up a little--”

A little early. Let him into a health moment for the day. I don't know. I don't wake up in the morning, but if I did, I heard the sun does wake up. This morning, Hannah and I did a zoom together.

Hannah, slept on it. Hannah's eyes were closed. [LAUGHTER] We could point those. Here it is.

There was no adult on the zoom. It was me, you and Grace. And everyone was discussing adult things. We were. Hannah had one eye open.

Wait, it takes me like a full two hours for both eyes to open in the morning. Had a little crusty. Can I start the pot with something? Yeah, I love when you start with a--

I got an email. I got an email. I got an email. Oh, an email. And are you ready, males?

Using first party food delivery data, gopuff determined that Kinder Boynell was the biggest winner amongst the consumer packaged goods brands that advertised during the Super Bowl. The chocolate bar maker saw 100% increase in units sold

“through gopuff in the hour after its yes-bueno ad aired.”

Per the report. It also achieved 444% higher all day sales compared to the past five Sundays the food delivery service says. I was not prepared to make a speech of acceptance.

Let me just look into the camera really quickly. First and foremost, I'd like to thank my haters, specifically all my ex-boyfriends.

One said that I'd never have a career,

but I would like to have the data show that I am better than you guys. I knew it, my mom knew it. And now I know it. And now I know it.

Men love data. Men love a graph. Put in the spreadsheets under to them. I would like to call it the pages or both of it. And I never thought that

candy would be one of the things that... See, I did. I get it. I do love a snack. I love a snack.

And I'm like a chocolate person over like a sour candy. I don't want to get mad at me for this, but for people who haven't had it before, it truly is just a better version of a Kit Kat. Well, it's funny.

I sent it to my brother and his family and my brother loved it. They're so good. Let's be honest. It's European. They also have a white chocolate,

which people sleep on white chocolate, and it's actually really good. I prefer the milk chocolate, but to each their own.

So basically it was your super role.

So basically I'm like the candy cleaned.

“Do you want to tell us anything more about like the actual shoot?”

Because I remember like, you had to go international for it. I had to go international. You were in space. We filmed in Canada.

And at one point they did want me to wear glasses. And I was like, okay, but people are going to know that it's me. And so I stood up for yourself. Well, I didn't.

I told someone to tell someone like, hey, maybe she should like, we do a couple without the glasses. And they were like, okay, great. And then the guy that I did it with,

his name is William Fitchner. Shakespeare. I like didn't know what to say to him. But I like, know him from obviously like so many different acting things.

But I said to him like, I loved you an entourage. Like it was like you were one of my favorite characters. Like the season you were on. And he was like,

what was my character again? Obsessed with him. And I was like, he's like, I don't know her. I love you.

So I'm like, you're so accomplished. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah. That hit number one show that I was on. He was on entourage. He was like one of the agents at one point.

His name was like Philly Goda. Did he give you any acting advice? No, he didn't. But he was so friendly and so nice. And there was like part of me that I was like,

you're like a really accomplished actor. I wonder if you're like, who is this random girl. But he was like so pleasant. We meet famous.

And also like smash. Like he's like old friends. He's like old friends. He's like tall. Like you would have loved him.

Love. No, I know. And especially he had a headset on like boss people around. Yeah, and he was just like he was really getting into the role.

You know, like you would be amazing at how many times

you have to say one line. I've to say I heard that one line is actually harder than a movie. Like when you just have. No, I never leave that. And that's a fact.

And someone who's delivered a lot of one lines. You were the one line or king. I've been doing some auditioning not to brag. No callbacks yet. But you're not.

I'm kind of just working through some some early stages of my career. And it would be basically they say when you have an audition with one line. Like you overthink how to say that one line to the point that you're like, how did I ever say this word before? It's kind of like when you have one interaction with a crush.

And like in that moment, you're like. That's not a sense of high. I literally spoke like Yoda. I was like, you are, hello, my name. Whenever I film a commercial, it gives me such an appreciation for like,

okay, and like best award for production and you're like, boom, like next. But then when you film something like that, especially like a 30 second one minute commercial,

“you're like, how the fuck do they actually film movies?”

So like literally like eight lines could take eight hours to shoot. Yeah, I think of one minute commercial. I was in like one section of it. And I was a full day shoot. Yeah, I got there at 6 a.m.

What was your motive? It's made character. Yeah, what was your motive? Like she was nervous. And she was like, I'm like a woman.

Like I was shooting a woman in one minute stand. I was a rocket scientist. Yeah, yeah. And so I really liked that. Which makes sense.

Like they were like, who should we cast for rocket sciences? Page of sore bow.

Have a nice girl that's always in there.

Yeah. So I just really tried to get into that role of like, oh, no, this isn't good. And there has been so many times in my life where I've said, oh, no, this isn't good.

So you channeled from your past. Yeah, I really came out in the performance. I feel like I'm the first to make fun of you when you do something bad. You nailed the acting. You nailed the acting.

And I don't know.

“Maybe there's more acting in your future.”

Maybe me. Maybe me. I'll be auditioning. And one last thing about the Super Bowl because I'm actually like, We're not a rude.

I'm not over. And I continue to get more and more mad when I go on the internet. Take the Super Bowl out of that. Travelling and immersing yourself in other cultures, going other places is like the number one way people get smarter

and grow in general as people.

Bat and like reading books is like, how did we do this one book? Sorry. And welcome to my book club. I actually have a lot to talk about about my book club.

So like, I'm not getting it because it's like, why wouldn't you want your child to watch a Super Bowl half time in a different language and have like, like, what if even if one child was like, oh, I really want to learn Spanish.

Like this is so. And now you have a smart child. Do a lingo sales sparked after that. I mean, I'm sure. But yeah, the what makes America so beautiful is all the cultures

coming together and creating what we are.

“And the American dream is coming from nothing and trying to become something.”

So anyway, also shout out just like an Alba. 44. I saw and I go that looks like, you know, just like Alba.

It looked A, I just said. I said that girl is identical. That's a Alba from 30 years ago. And then they go, yes, just like Alba. You know, I once saw her out of bodega.

Really? She was like picking out a drink, which you know is so fun at a bodega. There's so many different drinks. She's from any point Jennifer Lopez.

It was like. No, Jennifer Lopez is not going to like, I see she's like, I'm, I'm either running like a cita. I'm not going to just be in the background of a cita. Well, you know what I also realized,

which I had completely forgot about when J. Lo and Shakira did the halftime show. They brought bad bunnies. Bad bunnies been there. I completely forgot because he must have like just.

Well, yeah, because what you're with that abum. That had to have been. It was 22. No, that was awesome. No, that was, I'm an M.

Okay, because in my head, that was 10 years ago. Yeah, I've also watched that documentary multiple times. And we were mad about that because that was when they told the girls they have to split it. The time.

Yeah. And we were like that. Side note, do you know the ciax owner is a woman? I did know that. That was iconic.

I saw her like take that. The trophy. Let's work on owning things. I love that. Let's own every day.

Honey, I own businesses. That's one of my favorite vocal stems. Honey, I own businesses. Who is that again? It's.

What is it from? It's like black China's mom. She's like doing a podcast. And they're like, how do you have money? She's like, honey, I own businesses.

Anyway, let's start with something controversial. Okay. And how brides are wearing white brick and stocks. I commented. Oh, you saw it.

Yeah. You go. I reported that post. I blocked them after that. It was going well.

I posted it. Someone at Vogue is Hannah Coded. I commented and I said, where's the line?

I said, finally, someone has like look.

So many women on their favorite day of their life or whatever are in pain are in horrible pain. No. There are Achilles Tenden who's favorite. That's right. Grab a ballet flat.

You hate a broken star. Unless you live in Denver and are from Denver, that is the only girl/woman that I allow

Look, on your wedding day.

I know that Birkenstocks are very trendy right now to like wear with jeans and some girls. So cute. Yeah. I'm going to grab a ballet flat over that because I lean a little bit more feminine in how I dress.

But I love like a masculine or like an androgynous like outfit. Yes. But Birkenstocks are so like to me crunchy granola like I just went on a hike. And that is just like not the energy I'm bringing from my wedding day. Even if they're white.

Yeah. Yeah. I hate the men.

“And I think that where what's the word where it's like we're better than them.”

Like I'm not a feminist. You're a Muslim. You're a Muslim. Yeah. And so like if I'm yelling at them for flip flops or sandals.

Yeah. I can't then tell the women like, oh yeah, you can wear this on your right now. Mm-hmm. Go barefoot.

I'm today dressed as a retired old man, which I think is how it's easier than 20.

Oh, five. I'm wearing white barrel jeans. And an oversized white colored shirt. I feel I feel like I have opinions on the stock market that like no one listens to. But they just nod.

What I say is like a Saturday and you're like, I don't want to really get into it. Yeah. But I have businesses. I have businesses. Oh my God.

So you mentioned that you watched the ice gaining. Yes. The three episodes. Three episodes. And I was like, how did I miss that?

I realized I saw glitter and gold. And I saw two beautiful people. I thought it was a cheesy Netflix. Ramcon. Ramcon's in shell.

Scripted Ramcon about two people on the ice. And I said if I had a nickel, I've watched you to rivalry. I don't think we're going to beat that. Yeah. So last night.

I am fucking upset. You're going to love me. I am so jacked up. Because you want to know what? It didn't feel like a documentary.

It felt like reality TV. Yeah. That was real. What's the more in depth? The chaos of it.

It's a pairing. Yeah. It's normally either. It's a man and a woman that, of course, end up falling in love with each other and get married. Because you're so intimate with this person.

Yeah. You have to trust them so much.

“And there's a compatibility and chemistry you have to have.”

So like these two people got together. And then. So I know just because I want to talk about it and not forget it. Can we touch back on Margo Robby and Jacob Ballority after this? Yes.

No, no, no. Julie, no, no. We're fine for like 30 days. Honestly, Friday episodes. I'm like, fuck it.

So this is actually a great movie. So it's this gorgeous girl in this gorgeous guy. But they're just friends. This is America team. This is American team.

This is American team. But by the way, do you know she designs everyone's outfit? So her competitors are going on. They're like, oh, Madeleine designed it. Wait, did I miss that?

Yeah. The girl that's married to the guy. She's known to have like the best design taste. And they all design their own outfits. They're doing full like plays.

They're doing Broadway shows. People aren't talking about how stunning she is. Like I need her on the cover of those. I need her. I'm starring in Chicago.

Yeah, what do you love it? And I need her in Chicago. I want to be a casting director. Not that I'm going to see that. But I need her in it.

I mean, deep down, I want you to do it. Because I'd be so funny because you'd be miserable. I would be miserable. I would be miserable. You're like, I'm so sorry.

I have to try to sing. No, I would get out of it. But like what people don't understand is that page is actually like not bad at singing. So I think we should start a go. I'm actually wore a ball.

Now I saw you accidentally sing once and it was good. Proceed. Proceed. So anyway, these two, he realizes he's in love with her.

And he's five years in and they're an amazing team.

So he's like, if I tell her that I love her and this goes badly, this ruins my career. And like it's not easy to just find another top gold performing partner. It's kind of similar to when girls are like, but like the friendship, fuck the friendship.

This is like, okay, but this would have affected your livelihood and your career.

“I guess that's why I actually get why it's like hold it in.”

Maybe just, yeah, hold it in. But when girls are like, oh, what about our friendship? I'm like, just say it. Just jerk off to her and like, don't say anything. So this man is like, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

And I just told her, I love you. So he wasn't even like he was like, hey, I think I might be like, kind of attracted to you when I'm holding you up every time. Yeah. When my fingers are inside your vagina, what would you do that one move?

I'm like really into that. Or when they put their fucking skates on the guy's leg. Oh, I'm so glad you noticed that too. Because I'm like, how does she get off without slacing him? No, the fact that they have any, what's it called, your extremities?

Yeah. By the end of any dance is like a miracle. Yeah. So also she's doing these crazy outfits where like, the skirt is causing issues. The skirt's blinding him.

The skirt's hitting her in the face. The skirt's getting under him.

And she's like, no, it's for fashion.

She's so you coded.

“The second I triple over the skirt once.”

I say burn the skirt. I'm wearing cacky pants. Burn hat. So he says to her, I love you. And she doesn't take well immediately.

She's like, this is a mist all this. I have, you were on your phone. I was like, I was on my phone. Guys, I'm like, what do I want you talking about? I'm taking notes.

Is there a thing in tension when the gay guy came on? There's two. And there was like some drama. I was like, okay. The atmosphere.

She thinks this is it. And doesn't know what to say. Process is it. Next day, it just goes, I feel exactly the same about you. They're married.

But last Olympics, they got fourth. Yeah.

But now the three people who had beaten them are retired.

So they are the favorites. So they're coming in. So excited. Hot and heavy. But then the French team comes through.

This gay French guy is the contias. He is like, I'm scared. Like, I'm terrified. Like, I can't hear myself if he talked to me. When he came on his screen, I was like, this is a parody.

He's like villain. He's like gay villain, which everyone needs in their life. Honestly, I could use him. He was like, he did rivalry. And then spit.

He was like, also he looked at his coach and the coach was scared of him.

“Like, that's how you know the man is powerful.”

And he is like the perfect filler in his face. We're like his face is not moving. And he doesn't have to move it because he has no motion. Also, the story just, it just lends itself to a movie being. Like a comedy movie being made about this.

Well, do you remember Amy Polar had a blaze of glory? It was about all these dancing couples. And they're like crazy off. Amy Polar was in that. I think she had a cameo.

Oh, did she? She did. Because it was one of them doubt Amy Polar was a name. She wrote it or whatever. My dad is like talking about a female comedian.

I just say Amy Polar. Because that's like really the only person he I'm in. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. So the T is that he won gold last year and retired.

And everyone's like, okay, great. This guy retired. And then his ex partner writes a biography saying that he was like horrible to her and was really hard on her, which like no one's doubting. The man is scary.

But then this other girl, she was with a man who gets accused of like assault. Oh, I didn't realize that's why he was out. Okay. Like he's under investigation. Okay.

So she loses her partner. She didn't want to be done. She was like forced. And he. But it's also like her partner.

Like she's like, do I support him? No, they're kind of a great story. The both of them have so much controversy. But they happen to be best friends. And I actually see like their friendship.

And it's really like, you can tell they both. She was like, I wasn't going to skate. I was, I didn't even know like where my life was going to be. And then we just take a minute for their names. These are made of names.

This is me who's the one. It's like a job. It's like the mush. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I want to learn French so bad. It's so sexy. When they.

So you love pretty things. I don't. When they were skating. I was like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

She's also like really powerful.

And she's talks up. She talks about. It's so fucked up. These female skaters. They're not just getting rated on how good their moves are.

They're get it rating on their makeup. They're getting rated on their outfit. Yeah. Judges are literally going. I don't like her makeup.

Same with the gymnastics girls. How their hair is. Why? Yeah. Like the way that I would immediately fail.

But the girl should not be great. That's taste.

“But that's what they were saying is that the judging.”

Is based on like art. And it's like, oh, I just didn't like how their dance made me feel. Which makes me. You know how I am. Yep.

You hate things that are unfair. That is unfair. But can I just say, because I did get some messages being like, hey, I also have like a justice thing. Like I hate when things are unfair. So what do you do with what do you do when something's unfair?

You're just like, that's life. Well, the blonde from Canada. She kept getting scored. And they were, she was like, I'm a professional figure skater. And you're scoring.

She kept getting cancer. Yeah. And her mom died. My mom died. She was like, you keep scoring me as if I'm an amateur skater.

I am a professional. She's like one of the only ones that spoke up. And then I almost feel like they because she spoke up. They tried to fuck her even more. It tells you all this time.

It's just interesting to think that like in every. genre. Every like, like. What do I, what am I even trying to say? Every industry has a situation where it's like, the girls are looked down on.

You're not to say, the gay men in ice skating. Hot.

“So how attracted were you to that he was so your type.”

And then he started like, like, he dated someone like. But there's funny. He was like, I came out four years ago. Like, keep the guy just like him out. That's what I'm saying.

But it also makes me think if these guys were straight, would they be hockey players? Or could they go on into hockey? They all could, like, hockey and ice dancing. Like, actually, probably so fucking good.

I feel good at hockey. Because I feel like he's click. Yeah. And he's strong, but I was objectifying that man. I said, yes, spin around again.

Spin around again. And his face. Like, he was a good working man. Gorgeous. And so that you watched it.

And you like that. Well, then when you're done with it, you're like, we're about to be really, really big. So the links are happening. So then I go to peacock and I click.

They had their first dates.

So I watched it and the French did amazing.

I didn't watch the Americans yet. Was it their freestyle or the-- It was the first one. But he knows also so funny.

“In the dance, they don't actually do, like, big jumps.”

It's all dance. Yeah, yeah. Their ice dancers. Their ice dancers. And what would you wear if you were a nice dancer?

Oh, god. I know you've thought about it. I mean, I just love-- No, lace, you hate lace. I hate lace.

So I would have, like, a lot of, like, pink shear moments. And I feel like the kind-- You want to-- I actually have that amount. You love a high color.

I love, like, a dazzle. Like, the blonde from Canada. She was showing, like, my fair lady. I was like-- No, no.

Like, I loved that. Yeah, I just think, like, a little mini skirt. Like, I don't love that they're doing the longer skirts. I just feel like they look a little matronly. But maybe the shorter skirts look a little childish.

I was actually obsessed with the look that the French girl has and her first dance with the black sleeve, and the, like, circular bodice thing. I would have worn it. I have actually PTSD from, like, dance class when I was, like, seven.

“Because I remember a dance teacher told my mom,”

I didn't fit my unit hard. And my mom was like, oh, no, like, a dairy. I can't fit my-- Like, I can't fit a bodice suit around my vulva. Like, because my torso's too long.

And so if you see me in a bodice suit, it's not clip. Yeah. And I have a fat ass. Thank you for bringing that to my forefront. So, yeah, I love that.

It makes me remind me of when I played tennis.

I never cared about the outfits.

Hmm. Where now I look back and realize there were girls that were like you where everything was about the match day outfit. Where I literally was like, I can't wear my project's clothes. Not to bring it back to the Super Bowl, but people aren't talking enough about Coco Jones singing.

I love Coco. We envy her. What are she saying? Not the national anthem. Whatever.

She did so well, but she did, like, a play on Whitney Houston's outfit. Oh, and she looks so good. She's the next one that, like, she's been pops. Like, she want to grab me. But her skill is there.

And now it's just, like, the hollywood. She's like, she's about to be like, the hollywood she's doing. There's a lot of, um, a lot of talk about cats eye after the Grammys. Are you on that algorithm? You know what?

I'm not because I feel like that's so gentsy. I'm my algorithm's so gentsy. Yeah. It's just people, well, they did this song called "Narlie." Hmm.

And it's like, like, I've heard that. Yeah. Sing a little bit. I do a little ballot. Like, it's the lyrics are like, I guess I thought it was, like, kind of humorous,

but they're like, Tesla, Narlie. That hasn't come across my idea. Yeah. And they're doing a whole dance and everyone was like, they wanted, I guess, more.

But people have to understand. These girls are not choosing the song. There are corporations. These singers are corporations. And cats eyes like 12 girls, right?

It's like five or six of them. And it was based on a competition.

Like, all these girls battled it out to be the first American K-pop group.

This one right over my hand. So this was a talent search and they put together cats eye. And that's them because they're the first American. And one of the girls that didn't make it. And now she's doing really well individually.

Ooh. And she's really talented. And people think she's going to pop it anyway. I tried to watch it. I cannot watch, like, teenagers dream style.

Like, no. Well, that's a normal dream. They're like, you're not pretty. You're not smart. You're not funny.

You're not brave. She has braces, like, when you're alone. Um, okay. Not to, like, literally start a book club. I'm going to bet you're going to do this.

The second, I said, pretty girl start book clubs. You were, like, maybe I should say online. So a lot of the Googlers were DMing me. And they were like, hey, um, so night in jail may be, like, a bit too.

[LAUGHTER]

Um, might be a bit intense for you. They go, it's going to take you eight years. Yeah. So we recommend maybe getting something a little lighter, so that when you get sick of night in jail, you can, like, so I got seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo.

Now I'm reading two books at once. Wait, you love that seven husbands? Well, because I started it, like, years ago, and I never finished it. And I, like, forget everything about it.

So I'm like, I'll just reread that. But I also now, because I'm, like, so into reading books that are, like, movies. I ordered, "Whethering Heights." "Whethering Heights."

What are you? "Whethering." "Whethering." I think it's "Whethering." "Whethering."

"Whethering." "It's W. You." "Whethering." "Whethering." "Whethering."

"Whethering." "Whethering." "Whethering." "Whethering." "Whethering."

"Whethering Heights." "Whethering Heights."

It does tell me that it's an incredible story.

It does love, especially. Okay. Well, everyone keeps saying that the original story is, like, so not with the movie. So I wanted to, like, I feel like I read it in high school, but I honestly can't figure out.

Should we see "Whethering Heights together?" I definitely want to see it. The P.R. of it, first of all, love Margot Robbie's outfits. I'd like to cut it you for doing the random bows. First, in your hair.

Stop. "Whethering." And wearing that dress was very "whethering Heights" coded before "whethering Heights." "Whethering Heights."

"Whethering Heights." "Whethering Heights." Do you think it's another, I was too early. I think it's another, you were too early.

“And I really think that you should look into Margot Robbie's”

stylist because he's exactly what you're looking for. He's putting her in vintage galleon. Her looks for this press tour. It's not like, she has one good look. Or, like, oh, there's another.

It's every single look. I like that they're having fun with it. I like that they're being intentional. I like that they have, like, their performing. Yeah, their performing.

When it's just, like, make me look cute in this. And so, like, that part of the PR is extremely relatable to me. Mm-hmm. The part of the PR with, like, her injectable lority. And I don't know how much of this is true or legitimately just PR. But if it's legitimately just PR, stop.

Literally, it's weird and uncomfortable. Is it when she was, like, I became codependent on him. And I'm, like, I can't leave him alone or something.

That, and also, like, he put a million roses in my trailer.

And I told him, I'm in love with him. Wait, what? I mean, the first time we got duped with a PR stunt. Like, that was... Restar is born. And we were all, like, they're in love.

Yeah. And then, like, we quickly realized, oh, no, they wanted us to see the movie. We were going to see it anyway. Okay. Oh, that's a PR for Gateway Squad.

Everyone's like, are they married? Or are they fighting kids to lovers quarrel? But I just, I'm, like,

“Is Margot Robbie's husband the strongest soldier ever alive?”

Well, he was going to say... Jacob, a lourdine. Whether you like him or not, whether you think he's boring or not, whether you think he's cocky or not. He is the hottest guy right now.

Totally. And I feel like he is any interview I've seen. He seems extremely respectful and very nice. And he's so true. And so he, when, I mean, when he first popped out,

his Australian accent, I said, oh, this man is layered. And he's, he's got duped too. People don't talk about it, but he's like 65. And one time he didn't interview. And they were like, where are you?

And he was like in a hotel room. Then he like, pay on the camera and his mom was sitting right there. And I was like, he's a good man, Savannah. If a man has a mom, some people say they're a good man. But, like, compared to, like, I'm sorry.

Glenn Powell doesn't do it for me. I'm not getting butterflies when Glenn Powell comes on my screen. I'm going to say something actually. Glenn Powell at Kelly and Mark, in person, very much a movie star. Hmm, I can see that.

And I'm not saying that a movie star, I'm just saying, I don't, you don't get the hots for him. In person. Like Jacob, a Lord is ruining your life. Right.

Like the man you're meeting one night. Will do you watch you for? Yeah. I watched the first season, season and a half. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Because his character in that, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even him and the other one were, with Barry Keoghin running around.

He was, oh yeah.

He always just plays, like, the guy who, like, been to him.

Barry Keoghin is going to be a question. He, um, he did. We were a carpenter. That was a great thing you ever did. Yeah.

But he is playing Ringo Star and the new Beatles movie coming up. Remember he had that quote. And he was like, yeah. I'm just like, trying to be a good dad. So I, like, see him once every three day, 30 days.

And we were like, what? We'd so I couldn't, it reminds me if I have this bit on stage.

“When I'm talking about, like, should I have a kid or not?”

Yeah. And I'm trying to figure it out with audience. And someone was like, like, you can do what you can imagine. And I'm like, I'm not a male comedian. Yeah.

I can't just have a child and leave them at home and go on tour. Well, one of my favorite quotes, like someone said on the internet, was, I don't want to be a mom, but I'd love to be a dad.

and I'm someone that I can say from a child.

I've, I've have never wavered whether or not I want to have kids.

I know I want to have kids. Mm-hmm. But being in my adult life, some of the closest people to me, we've talked, like, and they've been like, I don't know if I want them. And it's been such an open, good conversation.

Yeah. Well, it's good, like, I've wavered. Yeah.

“I think it's healthy to be like, and what if?”

Like, we have free will. What if? Yeah. Because, like, I compare myself to other male comics, sometimes, who are my age.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, my god. Am I, if I have a kid and they have a kid, we're going to have such a different experience. But then the girls are also, like, honey, along torso. And you'll be able to make fun of it in, like, a way that the men can't.

Yeah. But, um, no, that's actually so true. You're, you'll have so much, like-- And then I was like, I could bring, I could bring the baby and leave it in the green room. But, like, Ali Colbert cannot.

If you've met Ali, I'm not leaving my baby with Ali Colbert. No, honestly, my assistant is, like, so excited for me to get pregnant. So that her job description changes. Yeah. She's like, like, let me do something else here.

But Daphne's like, hi. Daphne's going to be a menace. I feel like when I have a child. Well, my brother has a kid, two kids. And his cat, it's a good cat.

And at first, the cat was, like, definitely, like, perturbed.

Because the baby's don't understand. And you're, like, gentle. But then, for some reason, the cat, like, understands. But it's a baby. Wait, speaking of babies, I don't know if I said this.

But I just literally this year is the first time I've had, like, two extremely close girlfriends. One had a baby. And one is currently pregnant. We're, like, I've gone to, like, friends weddings.

And whenever we just hit the face, we're, like, they're having children. One, it's, like, so crazy. And you realize that, like, there isn't this big, like, oh, I've changed as a person. It's just, like, your friend, and now she has a baby. But I have to--

She got a purse that has a lot of responsibility. No, but really, I'm like, show you bringing her everywhere that does. It's like, pukes, pukes. But I have to say, my one girlfriend, Ariana, she's--

Grande, she's, she's a nurse. Like, she's, just like, the perfect tune.

And she's also stunning, beautiful gorgeous.

But when she sent me a picture of her baby, like, literally fresh out of the womb, I was like, Ariana, you know me. I'm not just saying this because you're my friend. This is the prettiest newborn I've ever seen.

What did you do? And she said, she ate so much fruit every single day. And she was like, I'm not kidding.

“I really think that's why she's so pretty.”

Granted her and her husband are-- Very good looking people. And she's a nurse. There's more girl robbing. Like, if you eat fruit, your kid will come out looking like me.

No, but I feel like she-- As a nurse, she-- And she's a nick-unner. So like, she really knows babies. And I was like, I'm like, literally writing that down to say on the pod,

because that's some information we need it. Yeah. Go on TikTok shop. And buy this. And your kid will be so good looking.

By the way, are you still TikTok shopping? You know, I TikTok shop here and there. A lot of times I go over to Amazon, because I'm a millennial. Yeah.

Oh, so you see it. And then you put it in Amazon. I do feel like sometimes it's so cheap that I'm like, this-- I'm not going to get it. Like, that's fake.

Right. And I get it. And it's so freaking easy that I just don't double click that out.

“Well, because I think it feels like it's not real money.”

I mean, I bought my tuning for example. [LAUGHTER] Now I'm inundated with the tuning for girls. And now I'm actually planning a sound back retreat. The girls have been--

You have been even about retreating. I have been going to the girls. I've been going to the girls. I've been to the girls. I just mean this morning.

And she's just like, um, hey, big tuning for girl here. I keep them in my car because I've road rage. And I was like, you're the epitome of a giggler. I feel like-- I mean, I think women are allowed to have road rage.

Yeah, because we don't take out guns. Yeah. Like, when men have road rage, like bad things happen. Women have road rage on like she's standing up for herself. She's being independent.

She's taking up space. Speaking of road rage. Did you see that story about the professional football player who dated the-- was dating the WMBA girl. And he, like, chased her down in the car.

And she drove to the police station. That's crazy. She's like, you and think of that. I just-- she's like, coming got me. I think-- I guess she broke up with him.

Okay, classic CTE show. She broke up with him. They were dating for like three years. And she broke up with him. He was like stalking her.

And she was like, stop stalking me. Like, blocked his number, whatever. And then she's driving, like, honest Saturday morning. And she realizes he's behind her. And he's trying to, like, hit her car.

So she, like, I think calls the police while she's in the car. But like, just drives the police station. The police come out. Get him.

Gotcha. Well, you know, literally, like--

“This is an example of, like, social media.”

When you see, like, people in relationships with, like, I don't know, athletes.

It's not always what it seems.

And some of these men-- Right. Because you're good at a game doesn't mean you're good at being a person. And I would say that for, like, all public figures. Yes.

You know, if he's, like, so, um, influential and charismatic, that he accidentally gets famous. But, like, to try to get famous. Yeah. And have, uh, a publicist?

Yeah. Unless you're a true talent. Yes. Like, you have to be a true citizen. Unless it's, like, the world needs your talent to become a better place than I'm, like, okay, that's fine.

And, like, you're voicing for the voice of an angel. But if it's just you having a podcast? No. Girls are different. Obviously.

Girls like to say-- One hundred percent. We've been through a lot. Well, we've been suppressed. So, obviously, now, we have to overcompensate.

Right. Which leads me to-- [laughs] I can't wait to what it literally leads to. Like, you have two different things like a person.

We can go in either direction. There's no way to feel cool while you're talking into your remote. Like, there's nothing more humbling than me trying to-- Like, it's like your customer service voice. But, like, also wait.

It actually is so funny. You want to be funnier? I don't do that. I thought about it. I realized, I don't-- it's like Bluetooth.

I don't trust it. I'm typing it in. You're such a freak. Because I don't trust, like, which button to press for it to happen. And I don't even try, like, I'm an old lady.

Well, I just got a new phone. And so, I was, like, setting up my phone whenever and one of the parts is, like, set up Siri.

“And so, to set up Siri, you have to say these certain prompts.”

Like, Siri, what's the weather? Siri, but-- and so I did it. And then I was, like, wait a minute. I just did that into my customer service voice. It's not going to recognize my real voice.

And I have a cold. You're coughing the entire time. I have a big, big, big, big, big, big, big with a new phone. A huge, big, big. I have a huge one.

It's not what you think it's going to be. What is yours? My favorite thing in the world. My only number one hobby that brings me consistent joy

is screenshotting things that I'm never going to look at again.

Yeah. In the new phone. You don't just screenshot. You have to, like, screenshot. Putting your social security number.

Give your first born. Say where you want to save it. Add to divide by 12. Mm-hmm. What?

Who decided that? Don't even get me started on the photos. I was like, oh, great. A photo from 2007. Where's the one I took today?

I thought you can't find it. You can't find it. You can't find it. I didn't like, hello. Also, I think it's a glitch.

But when I, when I send a lot of files. So when I go into, like, something I said to you. And I want to see something I sent you, like, a photo. And I press info. It's not coming up.

No. I'm in disarray. My gripe with the new phone is I have royalty fingers. I have the longest, Guinness fingers you can get on my dream to text. Okay?

I can get there. I'm Sheena Shaze Child. Okay? I'm the exact opposite. I press one letter and it hits eight letters.

I sound drunk every single day. Like, the texting is so touchy that, like, and the word correction. I'm like, now why in the hell? I've never used that. What I want to see that when that's not a word.

Personally always go to, like, sex or something inappropriate.

Oh, really? I feel like my book is usually always like one sec and I always says one secs. That means you're typing the word sex a lot. Because it's like, oh, she means this word she always says all this time. That's how I literally sex my husband.

I'm like, let's have sex. Because I've lost all creativity. It's just like not real words. And I'm like, okay, that doesn't make any sense. And then I have to be like, sorry.

I'd rather than send the wrong real word, word than just gibberish. Right. People could speak piglet. And I was like, if I don't learn piglet, I'm going to be blind. I'm not going to be prepared for that.

I don't want to be in high school. I'm not going to have any friends.

“So I was like, you know, I was like, where did all the people learn piglet?”

And did I sleep late that day? Like, when was playing? I think I knew it for, like, maybe part of, like, fourth grade. But I don't remember. It was just, it's just every word, like, backwards.

Yeah. And they would say something to you. And you'd be like, I don't get it. And they're like, well, and then once you got it, you were like, No, still don't get it.

I'm having trouble pronouncing a word, and I need your help. Origin. B-R-O-O-C-H. B. I sorry, I have to write it.

B-R-O-O-C-H. Because they're becoming brooch. I thought it was brooch. Well, that would be a U. Brooch.

Or is it brooch? Or is it brooch? It's a brooch. It's a brooch. Also, first of all, brooch doesn't have two O's.

Everyone's spelling it with two O's right now.

I thought it was brooch too, but brooch I would put O-A-C-H. So all the girls are wearing brooches. And I just, I accidentally said brooch in front of someone, and I like still haven't mentally contented. I haven't recovered.

Because saying brooch in front of like another girl is like, She was like, what did you say? And I was like, I've been, oh wait, it's too O. See, I would have only done one. See, why is it going on?

“Well, it's, um, Sorry, what's the origin of the word?”

I do encourage everyone to buy some vintage brooch brooches. Yeah. And put it on their bags, put it on their blazers. I think, honestly, from traders and Lisa Rina having a deadly brooch. It's, it's the word history.

Middle English brooch. O-A-R-O-C-H-E pointed instrument brooch. See, that makes sense spelled like that. Or maybe it is brooch, but the British say brooch. Brooch.

Ma'am's with Cooch. Cooch brooch. No, it's definitely brooch, Hannah. Okay. How do you feel about the men wearing brooches?

I don't know. I don't need it, but like, I'm not having sex with you. Like, I can appreciate the art. Okay. Exactly.

Yeah, it's like shortmen. Like, I, they exist. And they're so white. I support them. We think they should be allowed to vote.

But like-- Can I say nothing about TV? Yeah. When we talking about TV?

The girls don't always realize how tall men actually are.

Yeah. And they have to factor that into a lot of scenarios that they can't. Yeah. I'm just saying. Like, especially with ITV, people don't know the heights of men.

And it factors into a lot of things. Like, they're certain guys that people like why does anyone like him. Like, he's always tall. Then they're certain guys that people like why don't people like him more. And I'm like, he's actually really short.

As you can't tell.

“Wait, when people see you in real life, what is the feedback you got on you physically?”

Like, do they say? Um, I get you're a pretty young person. Like, oh my god, you're so pretty. That is brutal. Yeah.

It's kind of is because I'm like, what do I look like on TV? No, that's brutal. I didn't imagine you to be pretty. This pretty in person. So like, I know it's a compliment.

But when I hear it, they're like, they say it almost shocked. You're pretty in person. But they shouldn't say you're pretty in person. Just say you're so pretty. You don't have to say pretty you're.

Cause then it makes you feel like, but a lot of times I do get your lot. A lot shorter than I thought you were going to be. I get your taller than I think. Yeah. Um, I'm five seven pages.

I would say five four. Yeah. I think you're five three. You think you're five three? I actually think I might be like five two.

I think you told me five four once and I just ran with it. Yeah, that's what I say to everyone. But like, if we really got a measuring tape out,

“I think I would be like just hitting five three.”

Also, you always wear heels.

So I actually have never seen your real life. Well, here's the thing. I'm all leg. I'm not yourself. You're so tall.

So I come off even in person taller. Because it's almost like you're only seeing my legs. And like, like, okay, you're taller than me. But our legs, I know. I'm my legs star.

I think people think I'm shorter in person. Cause they see my nobi legs. And they're like, there's no way that her torso's that long. Like, you know, the Britney Spears giggly squad. Okay.

And people don't talk about it. Wait, I feel like I was just going to say something before. We went off on like a tangent. No, I can't remember. We were talking about broaches.

It was after Margot Robbie. Oh, Kim Kardashian and Lewis Hamilton. We didn't even touch on it. I'm, like, not supportive. When I say not supportive, I mean, like, I don't get passionate about celebrity relationships.

I always think they're kind of PR.

I'm always like, okay, cool. Whatever. Sometimes I actively don't like them. I fucking love this for her. How do I love it so much?

Also, did you see Kanye, like, tweeted or extra in Instagram? I'm not freaking out, just such a freak. Like, um, he goes, "Wire." What did he get? It's not funny, but it's also, like, you're insane.

"Wire." It was, like, he was texting her. He was like, "Why are you dating Lewis? Give me back my daughter." It's also like, Kanye, you have three other kids with Kim.

Also, Lewis Hamilton. I did see him in person at the F1 premiere. I was at Kylo. Kylo. Kylo.

Is he short? Tall. Stylish, or a powerful confident? Deep British? What a high coup you just said to us.

That was honestly one of the most beautiful sonnets I've ever heard. And then you ended it with a question. I'm not sure. He has the, like, calmness about him, but he understands obviously high pressure

Like, it's like, as violent as skiing.

You know, like, you could die. You could die every time. It's also, like, if you could have a race car, Shandle Kim Kardashian. It's, it's one of the cheapest.

Oh, I love it. It's just like crazy that she, because I'm, like, it's cars with oil, but it's, like, yeah, but it's like in Monaco. It's like an ass thing.

Like an ass thing.

“You have to be like rich to even get into it.”

It's kind of like, um, what's the thing when they get on the horse? Yeah. What is that? Pull-out.

It's kind of like pull-out. It's like a rich sport. Which is also, like, very deadly. There's, like, rich men who love racing, who, like, make their own little race car teams.

And just, like, pay for, like, guys to race their cars.

And some guys, their full career is, like,

getting paid by a rich man to race cars for him. And that's an algorithm. We didn't even know. I looked up at a man's Instagram reels. I'll stop there.

The other day. And he was just watching people, like, fistfighting in the backyard. But it was, like, a ring of people. And I was like, is this real?

And a legal? Like, what is this? He was like, no, it's like, back yard fighting. Like, what the fuck is back yard fighting? He was like, it's boxing in the backyard. Like, go to work.

When do you have a call or something? Do you have a call? Just like, put clothes away. Yeah, isn't there, like, an email. You should attend to or something.

Like, this is crazy. Wait, the other thing about Lewis Hamilton. Is Hamilton in every time I say his name. Very wriggle. Every time I say his name, though,

I do think of, like, Hamilton in the musical. Oh. Anyhow. He was Hamilton. But the law that he was dating Nicole Shersinger for years.

She was like the first. She was, like, the number one lag. Ah. She was, like, a lag before it was cool to be a lag. Do you know what? I kind of like that.

Because I do like when guys have a type. I like and now we've said it. He likes a star with long dark hair. Because who has a beautiful body. Who's like, I would assume a similar, like, strong person.

Like her and Kim, yeah, they give me similar oras. Here's the other thing that I will give to the men. Men who are, like, have a little bit of ambition. Our smart enough to know that dating a woman with equal amount of ambition. Only makes them better.

A great man needs a great woman behind him. Yeah. And a great woman. And also it's obviously very, it's obviously that Lewis Hamilton doesn't get insecure about dating. Well, that's the thing.

How are full women? And yeah, with Kim, I do think sometimes she gets in a position where she's, like, mothering the guy she's was. Yeah. Not to, like, we don't know her real relationship. Like, pretty, if it's him, for example, I'm like, she's, he's just one of the kids in the backseat, you know?

Yeah.

Where Lewis Hamilton, that's amazing.

Well, it's kind of like what you said about the last pod.

“When you were like, you have to have the same amount of swag.”

And when they don't have a swag guy. And when there's a discrepancy, you're like, Like, I feel like she'll, like, kind of like, learn stuff from him. Like, he's, he's world blue. Like, I feel like it's going to be like, new and fun for her.

And like, I'm just, I'm very happy for her. I'm excited about this. Yeah, it's someone that I couldn't really see her. Like, I don't know his age. Smells like LEWS.

Yeah, spell it out for me. Don't make me, is it Louis? Forty one. Forty one. Ooh, I love that age.

And you want to know what? He's her type, too. Yes. That's your old chemist. Well, she loves, loves an athlete.

Well, she loves an athlete. She loves an athlete. Forty five. Perfect. Perfect.

Oh, she's stunning. I would argue. He still isn't fully mature that happens to men at 43 years. I feel like it's just, it's starting to grow. But it's starting.

No, it's kind of crazy. Like, 40. I feel like for our generation 40 is almost like the new 30. Hmm. We're like 10 years ago.

It was like, if you're not married and have a baby by 30, like, you're what you're done for. But now I feel like it's almost like 40 is when you're really starting. I just say it. But I have friends who are 30.

If they got pregnant right now, I'd be like, what do you want to do with it?

“No, I'd be like, I'm going to call someone because whatever you need to do,”

you let me know. Yeah. I will say my two friends. I just had babies or my two most capable friends. Or my one friend that had a baby and my one friend.

That's pregnant. I've only had one pregnancy, remember, once. Um, and I thrive off it. Yeah. I'm waiting for my Olympic rumors.

But yes, they're missing. Yes, those are missing. Well, thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so, so, so much. And we'll talk to you later.

Bye.