Colman Domingo

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of GoodHang.

“We have an awesome guest today, the great Coleman Demingo.”

And Coleman and I have so much fun. We talk about his beautiful mother Edith and how she shaped his life. We talk about our shared love of dancing. It might mean so much to us.

We talk about peptides. What are they? And who's taking them? And we also celebrate the fact that he is working with Steven Spielberg and his new movie, Disclosure Day,

which is coming out this week. Big Summer Hit, Blockbuster Baby. Speaking of Steven Spielberg, Steven joins us as our guest today who's going to talk to us about Coleman. He's going to talk well behind Coleman's back.

And if you don't know who Steven Spielberg is, I don't know what to tell you. 50 years ago, he made jaws last year.

“He was producing ham net and he's made every single movie”

in between. So Steven Spielberg, Mr. Spielberg, are you there? (upbeat music) This episode of GoodHang is presented by Paul Molev. Family time isn't just the big moments.

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♪ Better, what do you say? ♪ ♪ And I have the money ♪ ♪ What's really good to take? ♪ - Hi, Steven. - Hi, Steven.

- Oh my god, I'm on GoodHang. Good word. - We gotta get you into the stewed. - We tried, we weren't, we couldn't schedule it. - Dang, yeah, we were like, we don't have time.

- Yeah, I tried, I tried, I gotta make a few more hits. - We were like, we were like, we just want to see one or two more things from Steven before we say. - Yeah, no, I love the audition process. (laughing)

- Steven, you are my subconscious. Like the work that you have made is in my brain. You have shaped my entire life. You are a Gen X director through and through. (laughing)

- Oh, thank you, thank you, I love, I love that I've been to your subconscious and yet you can still be funny. (laughing) With my plethora of comedy, you know?

- Well, I mean, I feel like I've gotten a chance to be lucky enough to see you at places in events and shows and stuff and I got to see you recently at the SNL 50th. - That was great, just great.

It was hard to believe.

I mean, you know, I was there the first show in 1975.

I was in the audience. - Get out of here, really. - Yeah, it was in the very first show, yeah. I flew all the way to New York 'cause it was in the air, it was one of those things,

you know, where my generation suddenly was being included in something that was going to define define us and it was just, I just somehow knew I had to be there for it and I just, you know, I got to take it and went in the audience and watch.

- Where did you sit and watch? Were you on the floor or were you up in the back? - No, no, I didn't know anybody. I just, I was in the stands. Jaws had come out in June.

“I think the first SNL show was in October or September.”

- Yeah, October 11th, yeah. And it was there, it was incredibly, it spoke to me and after it was over, I'd left with the audience and somebody came running up and grabbed me and dragged me kind of backstage to Boulouche.

And so John said, "Do you guys made the shark movie?" And I said, "Yeah," he said, "You got to meet Jant Danny and he dragged me over to Danny." And that was the beginning of my first event that I really became a formal groupie.

(laughs)

'Cause I've always, I've always gravitated for a comedy

and stand up and comedians and, and I go beyond.

in my whole life. And I were books that I sort of started out together. And so that's sort of, but I'm not the funny guy. I'm a good audience for all of you. I'm, you were best audience.

- Well, you're here today to talk about Coleman Demingo. And he's a new friend of mine. I actually met him on a dance floor, which I wanna talk about, 'cause we were kind of, (laughs)

we met just like at a party. - And dancing, so makes sense. (laughs)

- But when did you first meet Coleman?

Where did you guys first meet? - I was going to make a movie about Ira and George Gershwin. And I was gonna make a movie about the process of writing and staging porgy and best. And I had a script, and I was excited.

And I was casting it. And I was looking for Todd Duncan, who played porgy. And I met a lot of actors. And when Coleman came in to the meeting, that was the first time I, I became,

a certain, first time I met Coleman. But I intended, after that meeting to cast him, it was Todd Duncan. - Oh, wow. I mean, Stephen, people must come in to meet with you

and you must feel their nerves. So how do you get people to relax when they're having a meeting with you? - Well, you know, it just advantageous me if somebody comes in and I can't find them in a 15,

20 or 30 minute meeting because of whatever expectations, so they bring to the meeting without how nervous some of them are, some of them aren't nervous at all, but a lot of them are. And I had this problem, only because of success,

because success creates a kind of false front.

It's kind of like, you know, I've always seen myself

early in my career being successful, but also feeling a little bit like a fake Western street on a Hollywood back one. When you walk around behind the facade and there's just a bunch of two by fours

holding up the facade, into people that people only knew how nervous I am and how nervous stressed I get. They wouldn't be so nervous in front of me. And I really was, and I came up with a method,

which I use for a couple of pictures starting with raiders of the lost arc. And I decided that all the actors that I auditioned in person, I'm gonna meet them in a kitchen and we're gonna cook, we're gonna actually cook.

And so for a couple of movies starting with raiders, everybody that came in met me in a kitchen and we were cooking stuff.

“And that's what that was how everybody relaxed around”

good food. - That's so smart because you're also you're just getting to do something. Like it's like, what do I do with my hands?

Basically is what you're thinking half the time

when you're stressed? - Yeah, everybody becomes so real when they're covered in flour and you know, and you're trying to break an egg and the egg spills out on the counter.

I mean, everybody becomes the best version of themselves. - Although most of them people like, good news you have an audition, bad news, you need to learn how to cook. You know, we get (laughs)

where the good news is you're gonna be part of a recipe, but the bad news is you're only here for 30 minutes and you're not gonna be able to eat what we did. - Yeah, yeah. - So all the actors came into the end of the day

were able to actually feast on what we had prepared starting at nine o'clock in the morning, right? - So you meet Coleman and now you guys are,

“and did you work together on any other feet films after that?”

- What happened was I had actually cast a lot of the movie and then I had something that doesn't often happen when I'm that far down the line, but I had a kind of second thought about the project. And I decided not to continue making it.

And that's the only reason Coleman and I didn't work together then, but remembering Coleman as well as I did, I cast him in Lincoln playing private green. - Right. - And that was the first time we actually

professionally worked together. - And what is it like working with him? - Kind of like riding in a waymo where you don't have to do anything, but sit in the back seat because the car drives very well by itself. And Coleman is when he graces your set, he brings kindness and he brings collaboration

and he brings love and he brings a real sense of let's have fun while we're working hard, while we're working hard to be serious, can we also have fun? And he makes a director look forward

to going to work the next morning. - Oh, what a dream. I mean, I'm sure you're at the point in your life and career too, where you can tell, like, sometimes people are motivated

by a lot of things, as you know,

“as a director and you have to kind of find out”

what motivates them.

yeah, it's not always the case.

- No, it's not always the case. I've been lucky, I've had actors, I've had a lot of actors who have been such great collaborators to work with, even on really, you know, trying projects.

But Coleman isn't about himself, he's about the whole. You know, he's about, it's like the place and the thing of Shakespeare said. He's about the place, about the whole. He's as interested in the actors,

he's playing opposite, even more so than he is about his own role in the whole. And that's rare, that's really, really rare. He is so full of empathy. And because my movie deals,

disclosure deals a lot with the importance of empathy. Coleman was a very easy choice for me to make, to invite him, to be part of this company. And part of this ensemble.

- We cannot wait for this movie, another hit, Steven.

Huge. - Now I'll get my wooden hit. - Listen, I'm calling it right now. Okay, now I don't believe in Jinks' and I call it as I see it and I'm telling you something.

This movie is, everybody is ready for this movie. It looks so good, I still don't really know what it's about,

“which is great, I think it has to do with aliens,”

but you tell me, I don't know. - Well, but what can I say, here's look at it, here's look at it, you can. - Do you have a question for me that I could ask him, bigger small?

- I've been thinking about that, you know, he's such a success and he's so consistently successful. I'd love you to ask him, was there ever a film he auditioned for that he didn't get and he was desperate to get?

- Ooh, oh yeah, I mean, he, I bet he has an answer to that because I know that he, I mean, when I look at his career and he's really done a ton of different types of work. I mean, Coleman, talk about empathy, he can play, he has a huge range, he can play like a,

does the love bomb of a person and he can play a really sinister, scary person too. - Yes. - Okay, that's a good one. Well, Steven, thank you so much for your time.

It really means a lot, I know Coleman will be thrilled that we talked and I can't wait to talk to him about what it's like to work with you. - I can't wait, I can't wait to watch this. - This episode is brought to you by visible.

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and he brought me home. - I bought you a meal, I bought you an A. - Okay, now I've been starting to get gifts, which is, that's not required.

“- That's what it becomes ridiculous, right?”

Well, someone finds out what you like. - Okay, let's discuss this for the listeners. What did you bring me? - I bought you a fake egg. (laughing)

- It's like cute, it's a keychain, look at it. - Okay, I'm gonna describe this while I show it. It is a pride egg on a keychain. - Yes, do you like fried eggs? - I love fried eggs.

- Oh good, but too. - Sunny side up. - I love a Sunny side up because it's things moving, that's what I'm saying. (laughing)

- Not to start off there and just go to my... - Totally right, I guess. - Let me ask you about your Sunny side up. Do you like to, 'cause this yolk is very exposed. Do you like to flip it once

and get like... - I like that in a little crunch. - Me too. - And then it bursts with a little hot sauce on there and a little... - This is a...

- A rubber? (laughing)

“- Snake egg, also call me brought me um,”

um, plastic silverware. Okay, so I wanted to pretend it. I'm not a crazy person, call them. (laughing) - This is fake.

(laughing) - Okay, oh my gosh, okay, well, this is now gonna get ridiculous. - Well, I don't wanna brag, but we got a couple a-list stuff up here.

We got some pea pods from Jennifer Lawrence. (laughing) - We have... - We have the Raspberry's come from. - Oh, the Raspberry's, where did they come from?

Oh, Mama, that Mama sent us fake raspberries. - Mama, Mama's very, very... - Let's put it next to Mama's raspberries.

Raspberry's in eggs. - And there's some egg here. - There's some egg! - There's some egg there. Look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that.

Okay, that's too cute. Oh my God, I made the board, and it's so good. This is already a good hang. A good hang with him. - And you know, I'm a gamer.

- I'm a garn gave us that giant chicken. - That's actually, it's really good chicken. - It's really good, I'm really fascinated by all of that. - I know, isn't it cool? It's very satisfying.

- It's good. - And I think... - When did, you didn't know I was in here. When did the fetish start? Tell us about your childhood, yes.

- I don't know, but it's like, it's like good art. I don't know how to explain what I like, but I know it when I see it. - Yeah. - I love that egg.

- You look... - Thank you, bro. - You're very welcome. - Has it's realistic? - Yeah.

- I like children's fake food. I'm gonna die. - Wrong people's fake food, exactly. What are you, you're not nuts. (laughing)

It's so good. It's so good. - COVID-19 ago was here. I was really thinking about what to wear 'cause I knew you'd look incredible.

- I'm fine, I'm wearing a wine green sweater, such as... - You can wear anything. - Really? - You look incredible in every,

you have the best style. - Thank you. - Like, the style is bigger than just clothes. Like, you have a way of moving to the world where you, I find clothes and fashion be kind of confusing

for me.

Like, I'm always trying to figure it out.

I don't always feel like it's a world that I understand or that I'm a part of. But whenever I see you wearing whatever you're wearing, it's like an invitation. - I think it is.

I think it is.

“Literally, and that's what I think it is.”

It's like, okay, even like, what I was supposed to wear, there was a jacket with this. And I thought, "Oh, no, I'm gonna go hang with Amy." She's like, "I gotta show those guns, man." - I gotta show the guns.

I gotta sex it up a little bit, no. I said, "That's what I emailed you." I was like, "You're gonna come to bring it, bring it." - You gotta bring it. - Bring that stuff, that's what I'm doing when it's supposed to go.

So, I thought, like, I just want to feel relaxed with you. - Yeah. - And then the jacket was just all like, you know, but no, it's very serious business meeting. - Oh, yeah.

- But I was like, "No, I'm gonna feel a little sexy." - That's, but that's exactly the point. Like, the clothes never wear you. Like, you're always like, "How do I get into this feeling?" Right, this character.

- Yeah. - And that is what I have learned about wearing something, like, figuring out how to dress is like, basically, how do you wanna feel? - What do you consider your style to be?

When you were a suit, I can always tell you,

look so sexy and beautiful in yourself. - Got bless. - It's exactly, you didn't know that this is gonna happen today, I did. - I mean, I hope.

(laughing) - I know. - I don't know what you do, 'cause also, I can tell that you feel very comfortable in your body and skin.

- It's comfortable.

“- I think you listen, Diane Keaton did that.”

Diane Keaton was like, "She perfected her style in a way that was just her own." And she was always cool and she can have these masculine vibes to it and that was her. - Who are you wearing?

- Oh, Paul Smith today, Paul Smith. - Heard of him. - Yeah, well, you know. Right. (laughing)

- Okay, we're kind of new friends. We're getting to know each other. And I feel like I was trying to remember when we first met. And I think we first really met non-verbally on a dance floor.

- That's exactly, you do remember. - Right. - It was at a night before party. - Right, what did that mean? - I mean, the Emmy and night before parties.

And we just, I don't know what the DJ was killing of that night. And you're wearing a suit, actually. - Oh. - You're wearing a suit.

And you and I, we just cut it up. And I was like, "Oh my God, Amy, pull a condenser. "Assault." - Thank you for saying that, right back at you. I mean, we were killing it.

- Why do you love to dance?

I always love to ask people

who love to dance, why they love to dance. - You know, I grew up, I think, my parents used to always throw the best parties. So New Year's Eve was always at our house. And we didn't have, we lived in a row home

and throw it off here into the basement. We had a bar down there. - We had a basement right there. - We had a dark, dank basement. - We were your polls carpeted.

- Oh, absolutely carpeted. We had a black sheba, a velvet on the wall. Like, you know, she's like some black woman with an afro and a tits out in a panther. And I was always looking at it and just confused.

- Remember, like, string art? - Yes, absolutely. - All of that was down there. So everything was down there. Our Christmas toys were in the back,

but that's all of the thing. But it was really, we would have dance parties down there. So we could go down there and the music was cranked up and we danced to, we just danced. So I come from a family that loved to dance.

My mother before she pat my mother passed in 2006. One of the things in my sister always loves to tell me is like, just the week before my mom was dancing in the aisles of Pathmark. - She was dancing, like, you know, playing whatever music

was playing, she was dancing in the aisles. And like, so I idea that that's my sister's memory of my mother dancing. So I come from people who can dance anywhere. Like, I haven't zero shame.

- Me too. And in fact, you know, I get, it actually helps me expel a lot of my social anxiety. Like, I'd rather dance talk. - Yes.

- Same here.

“We danced, like, do you remember that show of dancing on there?”

- Oh, well, we had dance, well, you're from Philly.

- Dance on Philly. - Dance on Philly. - Dance to a saying. - Dance to a saying. - Exactly. Exactly.

But like, you and I dance, like, from that generation of those people, like, - Yeah, we're very-- - We're the same age. - They were same age. So like, when you cut, you tear it down.

- 100% we really move and it's like-- - Because they don't move like that anymore. We move, like, we were trying to hurt somebody. - There's a whole thing a trend on, to talk about how, like, showing at the difference

between how Gen X and Gen Z dance. Because Gen Z barely moves. - They barely move. - Gen X, like, clear the dance floor. - Oh, we did.

“- Did you have high school dances and what was playing?”

What music was playing at those? - Listen, dance. - They had high school dances. Now, with the high school, we'll Smith, by the way. They had high school dances.

- But I was-- - You went to high school with Will Smith. - With Will Smith, yeah. - Same grade. - He was one right above me.

- Oh, my God. Was he like an high school? - You know, he was a cool kid. He was actually a cool kid. - Yeah.

- He was actually very friendly. Everybody really liked him. - Yeah. - At the Winball Room and Philadelphia, he and Gen Z. - Wow.

- But I was a bona fide nerd. I didn't do any of that. - Oh man. - No, no, no, I didn't come--

I didn't turn into this until, like, second year of college.

- Oh. - Can I decide I didn't want to be like that anymore? I was very shy and bookish and a very awkward--

“- So you weren't like tearing up the dance floor in high school?”

- No, no, no, no. I was dancing at home with my siblings. But in high school, I didn't go to any dances. I know, this is where it gets sad. (bell chimes)

- I didn't go to any dance. - I didn't go to any dance. I didn't go to any dance. - I went to my prom, but I got there late because my prom date Terry Hayes was very late getting her dress made. So we got there very late.

So I didn't even dance with my prom. - Okay, okay, this has gotten very tragic. - No, I will be because I feel like I feel like-- - I feel like that this idea of coming into your own and feeling you're getting in your sense of power

and who you are and all this stuff is like the theme of the, for me, your career, your life, your interview. Because I find your, my experience with you, I feel like you really have worked very hard to know who you are and to like show that person to the world.

- Basically. - I mean, I think, listen, that started, I think one of my first jobs was that Barnes and Noble bookstore in Philadelphia, you know, a take care of the self-help section.

This was when I was 18 years old. Self-help and travel, those are sections of take care of. And I would be in the corners that I'd be reading these books on how to become a person to be very honest.

Because I felt, I was awkward, I wasn't, I wasn't very garrious or anything, but I knew I wanted to become something else. And so I went to self-help books. And I was at, oh, to become a different person.

I did do certain things or adopt certain traits.

“And I think while I was becoming an actor as well,”

it was very useful. So I was actually trying on these different things and the way I dressed, the way I expressed myself, the way I walked into a room, the way I spoke. You know what I mean?

Where I pitched my voice, all of that stuff. So I feel like all of this has been a bit manufactured. Because I didn't have, I didn't have it before. - Well, you know, I, you've talked so much about your mom who seems so amazing, you know?

- You would have loved her, you know what I better. And what would she tell you in those little awkward times? Like, what would she, how would she reassure you or just like gently kind of walk by, you know, alongside you while you were feeling awkward?

- Well, I'll tell you this, I have to tell you story now because you just made me think of this.

- When I was a kid, I used to always suffer

from like really terrible asthma. And I, one time I was hospitalized and I was right. And I went and right before maybe about like November, first or something like that. And I was in the hospital and you know, just breathing

and stuff like that, getting myself together. And then when I came out when I was healthier, I came out and they picked my mom, picked me up at night and we're driving through the city and there's all these lights up,

all the Christmas lights and stuff like that everywhere. And she said, and I said, oh my God, look at all the lights. She says, you know, they all put up their lights to welcome you back home. - No, come on.

- And so this, this is the mother that I had. She would make me believe that I was very special and that the world was set up to do me more good than harm. Constantly, she was constantly going against any narrative what the world was and telling me that I was special

that was useful, that can be whatever I wanted. I can travel because I was always, I always had my head in the book. I was looking at images of ancient Egypt and Rome and she said, well, you could grow up,

you can go to those places.

So I always had a huge imagination

because my mother, so it was in all those moments which she was just like, when I was wasn't feeling great about myself or anything, she would tell me how smart I was. - Yes.

- That was I think she always told me I was smart. - Yeah. - She always said you're so smart and you're certainly so handsome. - That kind of early conditioning,

it makes, I mean, I'm saying the obvious but it's like, it's like actually a privilege, I'm learning more and more it's a privilege to have had a parent or a parent that said that to you. - Yeah.

- Absolutely, where they would be like, you can do that whisper of you can do what you want to do. You're smart, you're capable, you're useful. You're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you are. - You have purpose, you have.

- Yes, exactly. There's a reason why you're here, all that stuff. Like when it's said out loud, it changes the course of your life. - I think it does.

“I think I've been given so many beautiful moments”

by people throughout my life who told me something that I didn't, maybe I didn't see myself. Even how I became an actor. One of my early college teachers, I took an acting class just as an elective too.

Again, my mother said, "Take a class for fun. "Take something to get you outside of yourself." And so we thought about an acting class. And I took this class and then this teacher, Chris Wolfe, he said to me, "First time I've ever heard this from anyone, truly."

He said, "Have you ever thought about acting as a profession?" I was like, "I don't even know what that is." I got a little hub, I'm kidding, what's filling out? - Yeah, what were your parents' jobs? - My mom was, my mom worked at a bank for a long time.

She cleaned houses and then she kept home back to school. Eventually, she worked in customer service at, like, first-pensive in your bank. My dad sounded hard with floors. He was my stepfather.

And he was just a blue collar work I would work with him on the summers. - Yeah. - And makes a mixture of money. - So they were very much like just good working class folks.

And they wanted you to go to college and better than them. - Right. - So they were just like, really trying to prepare you for things.

But I'd never heard until I got to college

that someone said, "I would be curious if you follow this path."

“That was an act where you said, "Because I think you have a gift."”

And I realized that I'd never heard someone tell me I had a gift at something. - Right. - And so suddenly I was like, "Gift." And he said, "I've even, he said this."

It was like a challenge. He said, "I'd be very curious if you follow that path." That was like mic drop. - I mean, because I mean, I don't want to get into this early, but Coleman and I are both anyogram mates.

- Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. - Yeah, exactly. - And we love a challenge. - And we got that from Tina Fey was like, "What are you doing?"

- Tina made, Tina made Coleman take the test on the set of the first seasons. - Yes. - He got an aid. I was thrilled.

- And please explain that again. What the eight months? - Oh God. My audience is going to be like, "But we're the challenger." (laughing)

- I guess the point is, he challenged you. I'd be so curious what you do with that gift. And that is a motivating factor for us. It's like, a little bit of a challenge is exciting for us. - Yes.

“- Sometimes it's like our way through like,”

we like a little challenge. I mean, we're so easy. Everybody has their ways. It like, we think we're not manipulated, but we respond well to when someone says,

"I bet you can't do that." - Oh, we're like, "I bet I can't do that." - Yes, it's true. - It's true. And the same way when someone's like,

"Maybe that's not for you." I'm like, "No, it's 100% for me "for the rest of my life." - Oh my God, where you from? - From Boston.

I'm wearing something. - It's like, you know, it's a city from underdogs as well.

Like, Tina and I were always talking about that.

We're like, there's something that Philly and us like, yeah, and you know, Philly makes Boston look like London. England. (laughing) See you tonight.

Tina and I always talk about it. - It's true, it's true. - Philly is wild. - I mean, look at a mascot. I mean, you just say, you're a fanatic, I mean, that's insane.

I mean, you're just like, you're a fanatic. I mean, that's insane. I don't even know what that is. - It's an insane person. - And we have the mummers parade.

We have the mummers is like just drunk Irish people and he was there. - The only time I've ever been called a seaboard to my face. (laughing) At the Philadelphia airport.

- Wait, what? - When Tina and I were, when Tina and I were touring and we wouldn't give a guy one of the weird like, you know, autographed people there when they fall you around the airport and it gets really stressful.

And we were like, "Oh, you're stressing us out a little bit." And then you keep flowing the seaboard and Tina and turn me and she goes, "Welcome to Philly." (laughing) - Oh, it was like, yes.

- It was like a badge of honor though, you know what I'm like. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, exactly. They like me here. - But I want to say, but you getting out of Philly,

you go to San Francisco, but I just want to stay with one thing that I love calling them about you is like also, there's like these, there's a shy kid trying to find his way. Mom who told them he was special and Christmas lights were for him.

You go from Philly to San Fran, why San Fran? Why do you move there? - Because I had a couple of college buddies,

it always happened, this is usually the story,

after a couple of college buddies, actually three of them that were living in a studio apartment and the tenderloin district. They were like, "Consam Francisco is amazing." I was struggling in school, I was working two jobs

and trying to matriculate, and I was like, my mom was like, you know, you can take it, it's the restaurant, and you can always go back to school. And so I have these friends in mind that move that San Francisco, they're like, "Come out."

- Mm-hmm. - And I was like, "Great." Like literally, "Come out," 'cause I, I was also the another side bar. I, (laughing)

- You don't say, "Come out, joke." - I was gonna come out, we're not gonna come out, we're not gonna come out, we're not gonna come out, I was just coming out, I was just coming out, I was just soar. I was great. So then I moved to San Francisco and it was four guys living in a studio apartment in a tenderloin district.

- You know, ladies of the night, and you know, it was a really wild, and it's been a nighttime, and it's been a nighttime. - But at 90s, that's one of like, a resp.

“- Yeah, what was your rent? Do you remember how much your rent?”

- Oh, I do remember my, it was, (crickets) - Four, that studio was 625. - Yeah. - 625, so it's split four ways. And we're just like there, like, and I literally slept, this is also a terrible joke, but I literally slept in a closet. (laughing)

- Everybody, come out of the closet! - Because we had a walking closet, so I had the, sorry, got a fourth guy moving in there, and I literally slept in a walking closet. - You're too tall, I mean, for people that don't know or can't, or haven't been next to, had the pleasure being next to you, you're 6-2. - 6-2, that's right. - It's a tall drink of water, that's all these teeny tiny actors.

- There's a lot of actors. - There's a lot of little actors. - Yeah, there are. And you know, I kind of get it because like, you know, it's, but I love being in a scene with a 6-2 gentleman. - It's kind of hot, right? - Also, it's just a great view, like it's a great angle, like, where we turn around, the camera's gonna be up here. (laughing)

Okay, so you go to San Fran, they're, you're working as a bartender, you're writing plays.

“Do you remember the first play that you wrote? What was it about?”

The first play I wrote was called Up Jump Spring Time, and that is the title of a stand gets an Abbey Lincoln song.

And it goes, I was out promenade in in high hopes of fading, that dreams ever really come true. Then up jump, spring time, I got to look at you, it was a play that I wrote. I adapted a bit of a novel, and I sort of embedded my work in there as well. I really was about coming of age as a young queer man, and I had three actors, we played all the roles, we played men, women, lovers, mothers, father, sisters, whatever. But it was really about the experience that nobody was writing about at the time.

It must have felt so good to be a successful playwright while you were also auditioning and being an actor. I think so, but to be honest, I didn't consider myself a, I consider myself a writer at that time, and then I grew into becoming a playwright. What year was this that you're writing? I started writing about 1997, the last play, I've written plays and musicals, I've written the down summer musicals. Oh, I want to tell them Broadway, I wrote a musical book, you wrote the book for the down summer music.

Yeah, I know, right? I mean, again, in that high school world of like the dances we were at, or we weren't at, down a summer, her music was so important to our generation, and to every generation, but I feel like Donna Summer doesn't quite get spoken about it. She was one of the greatest singers I think that has ever walked this planet, because also her voice, she could do anything with her voice. Yeah, she could sing opera, she could sing country, she could sing disco, I think that her voice, I mean, she even famously talked about her voice,

she was like, no, I make music, and you just never know where I'm going to be angled in that way.

And then before we move on to you like the career stuff, I want to pause to talk about, because it is around this time that you meet your husband. Oh, no, I met my husband in 21 years ago, so in 2005. Okay, so non-insam, are you mad at me? No, funny, it's a weird thing, because I lived in San Francisco for 10 years, moved to New York.

I go back to San Francisco to do a show at Berkeley Rap. Yeah. I go to Berkeley, California, I'm crossing paths going into a wargreens with the most beautiful person I think I've ever seen. Not even as beautiful aesthetically, but like just energetically. We never speak. Three days later, I'm trying to buy use computer on Craigslist. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and I thought about posting one of the Craigslist Miss Connections ads.

Oh, it's so analog. It's so analog, right? I used to read them like crazy, and I get to the second page and third one down, I remember exactly the placement, and it said, "Solio, I saw the Walgreens Berkeley." He placed it just an hour before I looked. So we were looking for each other, and then we met. And I'm so uncool. We met three days later, had our first date, and I literally was like, "I think I love you. You're going to change my life."

That's how uncool I am though. But that's so good. It's so direct, also. And I wanted to look at Raoul, like everyone would be like, "I love you. I love you." Maybe you got that a lot, like I love you. I get it. You get a lot that's down right now.

Yeah, that's true. Like, but that's you. Like, you're, I mean, I'm learning about you. In the moment, and also you're one of the many, many things that I love about getting to know you is you, there's not a lot of like, people know how you feel. Yeah. There's no question. That's a, but that's a love language.

Like, I'm going to just tell you how I feel now. I'm going to take that risk.

“I'm like, that's, that's what vulnerability is like, I'm just going to tell you right now.”

I love you. Like, that's amazing.

It's like no games at all. I'm always telling people to, like, "Don't play any games."

Exactly. They're just telling me.

“They're moving, that takes time away from, you know, just move away. Get out of the way then.”

Yeah. If people who receive that, they're going to be right there with me. And so you guys have been together 20, 20 years, 21 years. You know, here at Good Hang, we only allow a few, a few spouses to come. Because, you know, you don't want to have, you don't want to have everybody's wife and husband around.

That's true.

And we've had the most amazing group of people. We've had roles here today.

Yeah, he is. We've got he's in the green room. Hi, Roe. I love you. Roe's here today. We had Carol Burnett bring her husband, Brian, and we've had Violet Davis's husband Julian. Oh, that's great.

And that's it. That's it. That's it for the good hang. That's it. No more spouses. No. Well, roles like a cat. He's sort of like, you know, yeah, you barely even know he's here. Well, and the cheekbones. What, you bought him for the cheekbones. I mean, both of you guys are like cheekbones.

You guys could open up a cheekbones shop. That's our next event. It is true. And it's funny, because sometimes we're more with other people. They can't even tell that we're, it's, I guess it's a compliment.

They can't tell that we've been together for so long. Yes. They can't tell that they can't tell because we're still like, very, and love with each other. Yes. And we have fun and we're touching feelings. Yes. But also then even when we're in groups of people,

“they're like, oh my god, how do you guys know each other?”

Well, that's my husband. They're like, oh my god, that's my bro.

I mean, that's also my husband. He's like a lot of fun. Yeah. And I wish you two could have children together. And just, but just the two of you away from the science to happen. The Americans can't just face a lot of things. Just cheekbones on their baby hair and a four cheekbones.

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and über-sipzinsorten café for every smak. Aléba Premium Café is already at the end of the 20th Euro. And there are now the Cuba capsule machine in Dinachibu-Fiale and of Chibu-Dee. When I'm looking at your career, which you've done so many things,

so many different parts all over the spectrum. Like Coleman, you just play really intense, like kind of joyous love bomb characters. You play deeply complicated and oftentimes scary and terrifying characters.

You can do it all. You've done so many different parts. But what I love is your path is the one that I recognize because we're the same age of like what all actors kind of did to start because you didn't have an inn you were just like,

how do I get started, making the work. And so you're like learning on the job. And, I mean, you're even in law and order, which is like, you're not an actor, if you're in law and order. Exactly, exactly.

What, what, what you were on, what did you play? Do you remember your character role? I was on like, I love to have three or four law and order. I was on different characters. Oh, yes, yeah, exactly.

I remember the law and order criminal intent. Of course. And I played a schizophrenic heroin addict. Oh, okay. I played an attorney on one of them with Dinachibu-Dee.

“You went from the schizophrenic heroin addict to an attorney?”

Yeah, exactly. That's acting. Now that's acting. I also was a bartender at a leather bar. I didn't get a leather bar.

Great. Exactly. Like unpacking the various ball gaps as you were telling them about them. Because you know, what I'm about loner is that they're so busy. They're so busy when the cops are talking to them like,

they're just like, New Yorkers, they have time for everybody. They're like, I'm sorry. I got to pack these bags while you're talking to me officer. What? I'm going to get the fruit off this truck.

I don't have time for that. I don't have time for that. It's incredible. I don't know, I'm watching particular for that. I'm like the walkin' tough.

We're too busy for these officers to talk to us. I love it. So really? I was a very busy bartender. Yes, exactly.

I was exciting to get those parts at the time. No, it was a good gift. Because if you didn't get loner, or you felt like you were garbage.

She were like, no, I never got you never gone loner.

And I know. This is my dream. If I could go back in a time machine. If I could back to the future of my life, the one thing I would do to really--

And maybe you would change my whole-- maybe you would change your-- Book a loner order. I would book a loner order. But-- I would.

That was my goal, Billis, and when I lived in San Francisco, the gig was to get booked on nas bridges. Because that was it. That was-- yeah, I played-- Which on Johnson?

Every dumb criminal on that show. I play one of them, exactly. And, yes, and I literally wait. There's one episode that people will watch it. It's my favorite episode of me.

I kicked that Don Johnson's daughter and gave me found me. And I happened to be wearing a Kooji sweater while I was working out. OK, sure.

You know, that Bill comes with me, Kooji sweater. I was wearing a Kooji sweater, like a lot of work. And he busts through the door and I'm-- Oh, and I throw the weights off.

And it kicks me and he asks through the window.

And then he picks me up and he stops me around.

“He's like, where is she, where is she, where is the man?”

It's my favorite episode. It's so crazy and rabid. And you're like, what is happening? You're wearing a Kooji sweater. One workin' out.

I'm bitch pressing. I was-- I was like-- But also, I was a young actress, so I didn't question it. I'm like, yeah, that's what we're wearing. Yeah, that's what we're wearing.

At the time, I didn't work out, so I don't know. I thought people weren't that in Kooji sweaters. I think it's so embarrassing. I love it so much. I love it.

OK, then you go to New York. You're doing a million plays on Broadway and the West End. And I do have some important theater questions, because I have such respect for people who do that grind into such a grind.

It is the hardest job. I mean, to have the hardest part of your day be at the end of your day, to have to show up every day and do the same thing. And you're not getting paid a lot of money when you're doing theater.

And you are-- you know, you're being asked to do a lot.

But I'm always curious about a couple of things.

I'm like, oh, Coleman will tell me the truth. OK. Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on stage? No, I haven't.

Because these are some of my stage theaters, like my anxieties.

“What do you do if you have to in the middle of a scene go to the bathroom?”

You just hold it. You hold it. You hold it. Although there was a situation where your character went the bathroom. You said you-- you know what, listen, I like--

I make sure before I go out. It's a practice. Yeah. You have to go-- you have to make that happen. Yes.

Whatever. No, whatever. Number two is going to happen. You have to have an ego-rezying. Exactly.

You got to make it happen. You're going to make it happen. Have you ever forgotten lines on stage? No. No, no.

But I've had to work with some people who, sometimes, would flub some things and you'd have to-- Right. You have to help support it, make it think about it. My big nightmare, which is like someone's skip to head.

Oh, yeah. When you're in a scene, oh, oh! Oh, I fully have that. And it's kept ahead of my own way. Exactly.

I'm a living stress stream. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, no, it's true. It happens.

But that's-- but I think that's a joy of it, too. For sure. So you see, you know, you got-- that makes you wily. You know, you got to work on my feet. I got to get that storyline back in the air.

I got to make that cue happen. So we can't let it sit to challenge her. Have you ever forgotten a prop, like been like, what gone in us scene to see? Oh, yeah. I think it is--

And you reach in your pocket, but I think I forgot a gun. [LAUGHTER] I forgot a gun, and I was like-- And you were like-- That just had to hold it like this, like it was real strong.

They were looking at me like, where's the gun? And I'm like, it's right here. Tough. It didn't do it. Yeah, I didn't put the finger.

I was smart, I just did not do that, but I just was strong. And I was a threat. [LAUGHTER] But there was no gun. Exactly.

Have you ever had to say, is there a doctor in the house? No. But somebody said that on my flight the other day. And I was like, oh, they did. And I literally thought, well, I played a doctor there.

And I thought, that's not what they want. They're like, I'm sorry, it's someone who's a medical emergency. Is there a doctor on board?

And I was like, literally, for a second, I thought, what?

I literally thought I was a doctor, for a striker. They're playing a cuss with a gun. I only thought about it, and I can't do anything. I won't get me in. When did you play a doctor?

I played a doctor on the neck. Oh, yeah. That show was crazy. Exactly. Yeah.

I mean, it must be to be a doctor. And you hear, this is why you know you're not a doctor. Because when you hear it, is there a doctor on board? And you're like, ooh, but a regular doctor must be like, oh, god. They must be.

They must be. Well, so you start thinking, doctors do different things. There's not what they want, right? So you think, well, I have a doctor at. But you really do, yeah.

I have a doctor, I have a doctor. I have a doctor. You have a doctor. I mean, I do not have a doctor. Yeah.

I have a doctor. But it just must be like, oh, god, can I pretend I'm not a doctor? They're like, I'm just watching. I just, yeah, I'm watching TV, I'm going to finish this. Yeah, I'm just, I'm almost done with this season, somewhere else.

Right. I mean, you, you, you have a doctorate? Yeah, I do. I just got two in a month. Isn't that crazy?

Congratulations. It's kind of greedy, though, too. I think. I just got, I got back. Just got one from Swathmore College.

I got a, I'm a doctor of arts as of four days ago. Good. Fantastic. And I got one from my alma mater, Temple University. Oh.

Yeah. That must have been really something. It's really wonderful.

“Did you, you went, you went back, and like, do you have to give a speech?”

I gave a commencement address at Temple, and I gave a little acceptance speech at Swathmore. And I think, but what I love about it, I, especially right now, feel like, something about being with young people and students and just like them, because I feel like they really need to hear some words out here. Like, how's it going to be and, or they need to be inspired?

Like, what, what was your kind of, was your, um, uh, organizing principle for your temple talk? Love. Yeah. I really feel like, the more that I distill things of what I care about right

now, what I'm, what I'm inspired people to do is to love more. And whatever that means, I feel like that, that encompasses a lot. Yeah.

to that. And whatever way it is for them. So I feel like, I'm talking a lot about that, because I feel like that's, that's what we need to hear. I don't want to, oh, you know, make this world yours and do this and I don't need to

do all that to it. But if you do it with love, whatever you're doing, just participate and feel like that, you know, you have a voice and you can, you can be the change, you know, there's, and don't be afraid of what's out there. There's probably jobs up there that aren't even, don't even have a name yet.

But that's right. So I feel like I just want to inspire that with their imagination as well, you know. Well, I mean, the word that I've heard described a word that is used to describe you a lot is empathy is the empathetic way in which you not only work with people, because you learn a lot by somebody about somebody, by how they work.

But that is, that makes perfect sense. That's what you would be talking about. Because I mean, in all the characters that you've played, you have the even characters

that feel like they're really the villain of the story, there is, you are always approaching

them with that, with basically that they're a human being. I think so.

“I think I have to love every character that I play.”

And I feel even though the villainous ones are like, well, they're playing a penbore, a Mr. McCullabpurbore, or Joe Jackson, I've never tried to take the lens of what everyone else says about the person. I do my study, my research, and I find out who that person is and find my way in. Usually that person's connected to some part of me in some way.

You're working color purple. You're working in my quote, like the work you've done, the work you've done on stage. Justin, how did that change, I mean, that, that portrayal was so beautiful and also just like a part that met you at the time when you were ready for it, did it feel like that? It did.

It felt like we were meeting each other when we needed each other, like this role, this moment to pull by a rustling out of the, for people who don't know. By a rustling was the organizer of the March on Washington, he was an openly gay man at the time, of course, when it was not cool to himself or his body, or him having momentum in this world, and he defied all that and he was brilliant, no one could deny that he was

brilliant and he's smart, but he was always on the sidelines of history.

I felt like, maybe I'll say it in this way, too, I felt that my career was very similar in that way. I was sure if I would do the work, I was a practitioner, but I was always sort of a bit marginalized in a way, just like, oh yeah, that's great, but that serves that purpose, but it's never the engine or something, but a new I could be at the end.

And so when I finally got this opportunity, if we were meeting each other, like, oh, I know this guy, I've lived with him, he's a part of me as well. And then also, I just have to talk to you about Sing Sing, Coleman, Coleman, I watch that on an airplane, and I love to cry on an airplane, but it's a best thing. I love, I bet we're similar, I like to cry by myself, on an airplane.

And hopefully I'm like, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. That must have felt like such a work of talking about love, it must have felt like what was it like to make that film?

“I think that's exactly what it felt like, I felt like I knew that I had the opportunity”

to help tell the story of these men in a really complex way. The car serrated now. Yeah, but these men were incarcerated with this beautiful arts program in the center of it. And they hung onto it.

Like it was their, it was a new path for them to exhibit empathy and joy and dance and art and all this other way, all this stuff. So it was really like healing them in many ways. And I worked with the group of formerly incarcerated men who went to the program, and I really, you know, led this film and we produced it as well.

But I knew it was something that like, you know, I think I got paid like a hundred of the dollars a day. Yeah. And we had a very tight schedule. Yeah, it looks like a little bit.

And this is the kind of work that you're like, oh, this is why I can do that other high profile work. And I can put my attention on work like this. This is very necessary. Yeah.

And so we created it with like, we locked arms together. And that's your felt like locking arms. And it was a great, beautiful challenge for me because these men have the lived experience of being incarcerated in this program. And it was the first time that I think that was challenged with actually giving even

more of myself of like putting myself in the circumstances like, yeah, I could be wrongfully accused of something. I could be in the wrong place the wrong time. A lot of people in prison are not, they don't belong in prison, you know, so I can find that part of myself.

So I think it was a bit more bearing of my own soul and work. Yeah.

“And I think that's what the difference is for me.”

I can see it, which is why I feel like I haven't watched the movie that often because I feel when I watch it, I feel, you know, when you watch something like, oh, it takes you right back to you. Yeah.

It's basically what I always, I have like a somatic experience if I'm watching something

the feeling I had making it. Yeah. That must have been an intense feeling. It's pretty intense. Yeah.

I mean, it's so, you're so good.

“And you're such a natural leader, and you can tell in that film that you're leading people”

through the film while being in the moment in the character. Well, the funny thing is I did that movie after Ruston. Yeah. And I really felt like. Were you doing them at the same time?

Is it clear? Yeah. A little bit, a little bit, because I do pick up as for Ruston right after. And then I start to call it purple, but I literally felt like sort of that trio of films really ignited that true leader in me on sets, you know, and as a leading actor,

too. I sort of, I literally moved into my leading actor in a way. Yeah. But I feel like I needed all those years of supporting and being sort of that utilitarian actor and plays and things like that.

Yeah. I needed all of that. Yeah.

But I was always, even when I was doing work on stage, I was always the equity deputies.

So I was always the one that everyone came to to make to write the wrongs or, you know, advocate for actors or practices or something like that. So I was like, always the one, like saying, well, being willing. But now I really have the role and the opportunity. And so then I took that into my leadership of Sing Sing, and it's just kept going.

It's such incredible work. I loved it so much. I wish we were friends then, because I would have texted the shit out of you. Okay. So as we're wrapping up, we're going to talk about your new movie, Disclosure Day, which

is going to be a gigantic hit, holy shit, and for seasons, which I love you on, let's get to the fact that you've worked with and have been influenced by and shaped by amazing women. Yes, truly.

Your mother being the first.

So I just, everything I read about her, I just love, I love her face. And I love, I just, she just seems like a wonderful person. And I love the story of Edith writing letters to Oprah Winfrey, who, of course, was a producer and in the color, in the color purple version that you did. And can you just tell that story about how your mom wrote letters when you were, oh my god,

my mom, my mom can get a great gift as my mom would, she would, when I was starting out as an actor in San Francisco in the '90s. I would call my mom, we would talk a couple of times a week, and you know, I would have my struggles as an actor.

“And she's like, she would always say, we know I wrote Oprah today, and I was like, why?”

And she said, well, you know, she could help you. I was like, what are you going to do? She helps people, you know, she just might love you. She can help you. She can help you.

She can help you. You're so good if Oprah found out how good you were, she could help you. And I was like, okay, whatever, say anybody's so kind of like over and over again, this was like, maybe I was eight times a mom wrote Oprah. And I was like, and I'm so frustrated, oh my god, will you please stop writing Oprah?

I'm like, that's, it feels crazy. So anyway, cut to years later, I just have to sidebar save.

My mother always, she was like, she was so hopeful and she would say, oh my gosh, I just

need, I just want Spike Lee to know you, Steven Spielberg, and they should, they would love you. They would just love you, and I, but the cry I think about this, she always had that much faith that people, even if I didn't see it, she thought, they just got to know you, they would love you the way I love you.

Oh, yeah, that's lovely. And literally, I'm like, is I look at my life now and all these people are in my life. Yeah, amazing. So sometimes I do believe that sometimes people have dreams for you, you don't even have for yourself.

And at some point, they meet. Yeah. And so I had this moment, I was in my way with Oprah walking on her beautiful mountain and we're hiking, suddenly I said, oh my god, it just occurred to me, I said, my mother used to write to you over and over again, and she says, really, I say, yeah, and she, she's

sort of stopped and she says, oh, I don't know if I got the letters, but I know I got the message, and then we just continued to walk hand in hand.

“And I really do believe it's like, I know that like, I'm going to say it, I think that,”

I know that like when I lost my mom in 2006, and I lost my mom in my stepfather in the same year, I knew that like my friend Melissa said, when I was very bereft and I said, what am I going to do with all this love, I know that I was a good son, if I know, if I wasn't anything else, it was a good son. And she said, we're going to put the love into everything you do, and that will be, you'll do it in dedication to your mom. And so literally I feel

like, because I've been leading that way, I've been meeting every person. It's like, my mother's own Wizard of Oz, I've been meeting every person that she laid out for me. Yes. And that they love me the way that she loves me. So it means it's like with, like, with disclosure day, it's like, she wanted me, she wanted Steven's billboard to know me. She didn't

You know, I love that. I love eat it so much. You know what I tell you, you, and I don't

“say this like, you love her. She was fun, sweet, and like the dance. I think I'm a lot”

like her to be honest, and she talked to everybody. She would, she would really, when I was a kid, I was annoying. She I was like, mom, can we just go into the end and out the bank? And she's like, how are you? How are you doing? She flirted with everybody. She's like, look at your legs. You are so cute, Amy. Okay, she would do that. Well, you know what's kind of fun when you, when you're a woman of a certain age, I just realized

if the other day I was like, watch it, Amy. Like, you get to your knees where you start going, you're beautiful. You're looking, you're, but wow, he's got nice arm. Exactly. Everyone's like, oh, that little lady is so nice. That was my mother. You've got to be

careful, exactly. You just go, wow, look at her face. Well, some of my mother was all

school, so she would reach out and touch it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, my, my grandmother used to be like, oh, look at the chest on him. And then they're like, Nana, you can't tell. Now you're becoming that man. And how is it like working with my, my wife for life, Tina Fey? We have such good time together. The wildest thing is it's funny when I first met Tina. She's shy too. She's very shy, but I thought, I didn't know what to think of her when I first met. So I

thought she's very, I thought she's very, she's like a scientist. What especially when it comes to comedy and being very thoughtful, but she's also very, I find it would be very tender and very sweet. She's very sweet and she's, she's, she's, she's more touchy feeling than I knew. And I love that we've sort of become, I feel like she's becoming one

of my good friends. Yeah. Because I love, I text she texts right back. She's always in

my corner. She's just, um, once I found out she's a tourist too. She's a tourist. What are you? Sagittarius. Oh. Yeah. Taurus. Once she says, I found that she's a tourist. I might, I got you figured out. I lived with one of the 21 years. So I got you. She wanted me to ask you what peptides are you on. I thought I thought I want to. She's like, she's like, she's, she's in the right. She's right now. And she said, ask Coleman, the writers

want to know, where does it get as energy? They all think I'm on something because they're like, how are you possibly doing all this stuff? But I just, it's like, we're going to get pept. I mean, my dream is that while we're while I'm recording these podcasts, we're

“all getting peptides. I feel like, but what are you? I think pept, like, whatever peptides”

is doing, I don't know. People are looking at it. You know what I love about peptides is people are like, I'm getting all these peptides. And it's like, what's in it? They're like, I don't know. Yes. That's everyone. Everyone's like, just shooting it in. And they're like, hope for the best. Oh, for the best time. Okay. You get them every day. It's what's in it. It's called B128. Yeah. But you're right. No one can describe what it is.

No, no one knows what it is. No. In fact, it's better not to know. Just like, let's just go. Let's just peptide it up. You and I, let's do a peptide this year. Okay. You're in the big movie of the summer. It's, I mean, let's, the Steven Spielberg. So we have a saying where we talk to people before our podcast. And we find out more about them. We talk well behind their back. And we talk to Steven Spielberg. Oh, you know, you did. Yes. You did. What? Yes.

We talk to Steven Spielberg. I was very nervous. I actually, I realized as I was talking to me, I was like, I almost was like, Mr. Spielberg. You know, and I said to him, like, your, your, your work is in, in, in my body. Like your, your, I, your work is in my subconscious forever. You've shaped our childhood. Every single summer, every version of like an unknown world you brought us in. He's just so, um, he's singular. He is what, and you've worked with

him a couple of times. Yeah. So before we get to the great stuff he talked, he said about you, what, what, what, what is so great working about working with him? What's, what's it like to work with him? He, he's just lovely. Yes. He's funny and warm. He gives you, he's got a sparkling desire to make you believe that you can do anything. Even if he's giving you the the wildest task of saying these lines while going through an explosion and there's, you know,

the camera work is all intensive. He looks as you and believes you can do it. And so you have that belief. You're like, Oh, great. We're going to make something together. We're taking a leap of faith together. He's really just lovely. And he's kind. Yeah. And he's right there with you. He likes his portable monitor and then he's right in the action with you. Not not not. He's not at, um, this chair is, he's not a video village. No, there's

no ego about the work. Yeah. And he's also just like, you know, what do you think about this? Or like, you can, you know, you can bring your ideas to the, oh, let's, let's think about

“that. So he's very collaborative. And that's what I enjoy about him. He's, it's his kindness.”

Yeah. And the way, and also he feels like, how can I say it? He feels like he's just starting out. Like, he's that excited. He's like, yeah, let's try that. Let's, oh, I have an idea.

feel like he, it's, he's a kid assembling his favorite craftsman around and he's playing with

you, you're all playing together. I mean, this is like a big, is he me a big summer movie. I think a rockbuster. But I think it's a movie we all need right now. Because for sure, it is a movie after I saw it, I've seen it twice now. And I've cried both times. That'll just tell you. And I won't tell you why I cried, but it really did feel like it's a movie that's trying to connect us again. All of us, you know, especially like the idea of inviting the idea that there's

“where there's something bigger than all of us that we're part of. So I think that's what I”

had why I cried. I called him right after and I said, you really care about us. You really care about humanity, you know, and what we're wrestling it with right now on our times. Yeah.

And then what can unite us? Well, he said the same thing about you. He basically was like,

yeah, I don't know. But you know, forgive us, even when we tell you what he said about me. What did he say about you? Well, first of all, he said it. I'm a real housewife. Yeah. Yeah, he said. Okay, that would be really funny. This is the first podcast where I'm like, he actually said some assumptions. He was saying that working with you is like working with a self-driving car.

Like you know that you're going it, like you have it, you're, you're in the zone. Like there's very little that he has to do because he has such faith in you. But what you lead with as a person on set in an ensemble is empathy and love and respect. So like what you get is this act, this very skilled actor, but also a really wonderful person. And I think the privilege of when you get to a certain age and you work, you get to want to surround yourself with those kinds of people.

“Like that's important. It's not always the case. I think when you're younger, you're kind of like,”

maybe complicated, difficult people are there to challenge me in different ways and I'll learn something from them. I know for me anyway, like as I get older, I'm like, also I want to be around people. That's good people. Like a life of short. Yeah, life of short. I mean, should this should be fun. How lucky are we? And his question was, his question was kind of like a, because we were talking about auditioning. And I was asking him like how do how do people not get

nervous around him? Like how does he do with people's nerves? Because he must have people coming and being like nice to meet you. And he wanted me to ask you, did you ever not get a part that you tried hard to get? And like what did you, what did you do with it when you like, what did you do with the feeling when you didn't get it? So many, oh my god, that was like, most of my career. I was I was I'm booking a lot. I really feel like I was like, even

things you felt like you really wanted or you really were skilled for at some point you had to divorce yourself from the idea of getting the role. You're like, oh, I'm prepared for this, but it's not up to me. It's like someone, and maybe this thing I pride myself on, I'm like, when they want me, they want all of me. Yeah. It's okay if they want someone else. So for me, I said, it became a practice of being very sober about it and saying, you know, it's okay if

they didn't want me, because like what I give is very different than that other guy. It's not that he was better than me or but there was no, he was useful to them and all that he was going to bring to it. And that's cool. So for me, it was like, and maybe that was a healthy thing that I needed to give myself. Yeah. So I can give myself grace and like and be and continue to be a practitioner of this art form. Yeah. And not let it be about my ego. But it doesn't, it doesn't feel like it's

a learn skill. That's hard to do. Because also hard when you're young, but also their time when you're, I mean, listen, I've had moments where there were things that I thought I was perfect for. Yeah. And I didn't get and it shattered me. But it, like, to me, I'll be ran as not Amy, Amy.

I'd never really imagined the place that I'm in right now in this industry. I just want to be a

working actor. And also you're so famous and successful. I got so famous. But you're right, and also the contentment part, that's the goal. Yeah. Like satisfaction and contentment. It's a hardest thing to find. It can, you know, it doesn't matter what you do. Yeah. Hell is wanting more.

“It's like hell. Yeah. That's suffering. It is suffering. I think the listen, I got, I got a”

beautiful, beautiful message from this guy when it's turning 50. This guy was driving me in a car in Toronto, and he was 70 years old and I said, do you have any? Yeah. And he words with, was them from my 50th. He said, he said, listen, I wish I knew this years ago. He said, it's important to, you want to hope for everything, but want for nothing. And I was like, to eliminate want, you know? So I know they're like, I, when I walk into a room, like you

say, I walk into these rooms or in sets, I don't really want anything. Yeah. I hope that it can be. There's other things that I hope that it can be, but I'm not coming to get something. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm coming to hopefully be in service and to also to give something. Yeah. I think that's the best we all can be. So if everyone's coming from that place,

to take shit. And that's ego in the room. And then that's it. That's some dark forces. And you tried to just protect yourself against that, you know? We're going to talk about those egos offline. Exactly. That was dark for me. Okay. I love that you're the same age, by the way, because I, I've said this before. We look good. Don't we? We look great. You look great. Thank you. But we're making 50, 55. We're doing 56. We're pretty good. I'm turning 55 very soon.

I'm older than you. You're 56. Yeah. Yeah. And I, like, what's your favorite part about your 50s? I love my 50s. You know what's funny to me? Lately, it feels like things are moving faster. Like I just took 56 from like 57 this year. It doesn't make any sense. And once you get past 55,

I don't like the second half of the decade. Because like, we like, you don't like it.

I'm 50, I'm 50. Yeah, I'm 50. Yeah, I'm 50. And then you're like, you know what, 60. 60, 60. 50, 60, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50, 50. Yeah, I felt my 40s. It was, it was fine. Yeah. It's getting better. It's getting better. Yeah. I agree. Also, I feel like we have to,

“you have to be conscious of you to take care of yourself, right? That's right. That's right.”

That's right. That's right. That's right. I'm showing up in a different way for you. That's right. Yeah. So I feel like we get better. Yeah. I feel like our obsession with youth is like, I think it's changing. I think our generation is helping. I think one of the legacies of Gen X, I've said this before, is that of which we are proudly proud members of or not boomers. We are Jenna.

We are Jennax. We rock. Yeah. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit.

We really don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. Who cares? You know what who cares? Who cares?

Who cares? OK. Last question. Hey. Well, last question, Coleman.

What has been making you laugh, these things? I know you love to laugh. You love comedy. Yes. What do you listen to watching?

“Like, what do you go to when you want to check out laughs?”

Like, dumb, high-brow. What is the thing?

I always go back to watching Melissa McCarthy and spy.

Oh, my god. OK. Let's watch her right now. I got a laptop. I is my, any clip, spy is, I will watch it.

Melissa McCarthy is so. She makes me feel fun. No, she's so fun. Have you guys met? Well, I love her.

Yeah, we, we, we. She came to a, I saw I met her backstage at SNL when she was on the different Jack Black. And I just like, I really, I think we're becoming friends because we exchange numbers.

But I really want to be a friend. I'm like, you feel a little crazy. What do you think I'm going to do to run over there? I'm like, I'm a crazy lady. Where's the buffet?

I'm from the Midwest. I'm a woman. [LAUGHTER] I'm a woman. I'm a woman.

She looks like this. Yeah, because she's like, she comes across as this now see woman who works for the CIA and then you find that she's an agent as well. And then she goes in this whole journey. Like, she was like, really, like, you know, laying back.

And then she, you find that she's like the most wildest one of the most. She's wild. Yeah. You know, all these great disguises, which are really one of the funnier after the next one.

Rose Barn is in it. She's out of control. This is a comfort movie for you. It's a cry. I haven't watched it at any time.

That in the color purple. I know it's very weird. A very colored purple. I watch like the Wippie version of it. Oh, my goodness.

See, I want to cry hard. Yeah. We're going to laugh at harder. Oh, God. I'm with you.

I'm the same way. I want to cry. You don't want to be any more. For scared. Don't want to be scared.

No. I don't want to be scared. I don't want to. No, for anything. No.

No. No more. I just saw the other day there was some new thing. I don't want to. I want to say it.

And that was like. You don't want that. I don't want that. I don't. No more movies about being attacked in your own home.

No. No. It's terrible. Those are terrible movies.

I never watched those movies.

Me neither. I never. I don't want that. No. No more.

We either want to laugh or we want to cry. Like laugh or cry period. Yeah.

“Well, I feel like you should do a movie with Melissa McCarthy.”

I think I should too. I would love that. You're so funny Coleman. Oh, thank you. So you can do anything.

Thank you. You can wear a lime green. You can pull it off. Well, thank you for my egg.

So fun.

“We've been talking for an hour and a half and it just went by so fast.”

So good. And I just love being able to call you a new friend. I feel that way too. Thank you for doing this. Congrats on everything.

I'm always excited about whatever you're doing and like a true true fan of your work.

So thank you. I'm a fan of you and every single way. Thank you so much for doing this. Coleman. Thank you so much.

It's so fun to be around you. You're just a joy and thank you. Thank you so much for doing this show.

“And you know, Coleman and I talked about a lot of things.”

We have a lot of shared similar experiences being pretty much the same age growing up in East Coast. But we did mention dance party USA. And for those of you that haven't seen any clips of that. Do yourself a favor and go to YouTube and watch a dance party USA.

It kind of was like a very suburban version of American bands. Dan like soul train, you know, without the soul. And it was on in the 80s.

Just there's such incredible hair.

“Such 80s hair tons of hair spray and credible outfits.”

And it's just kids dancing to the hits at the time. And what was so fun about dance party USA was of course Kelly Rippo was on there. That was the first time I saw Kelly. I think she went by a different name. But also they just would like talk about the relationships that they were having.

And that people were dating and breaking up. So it was like a time.

It was like a soap opera with no lines and lots of dancing.

Dance party USA, check it out. It's a time capsule. Thank you so much everybody for listening to this episode of Good Hang in all the episodes. And can't wait to do more for you. Thank you, bye. See you soon.

You've been listening to Good Hang. The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss Berman and me, Amy Poler. The show is produced by The Wringer and Paper Cite. For The Wringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spalaine,

Kaia McMullen, and Elya Zineris. For Paper Cite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell and Jenna Weiss Berman. Original music by Amy Miles. Thank you so much for watching this episode. See you soon.

See you soon. See you soon. See you soon.