Enter the Escape Room with Wanda Sykes

And all these crazy women from way. See there? Tell us about the crazy women. Ooh. No.

Because when you talk about, I say, "You bring a big day pack up."

“I can walk out and hear something like, "Hey there!"”

I'm like, "Oh, geez." Yeah. It's like candy man. You can't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Nope.

I'm not talking to my friend. This episode of IMO is brought to you by progressive insurance. How are you? I am good. Gosh, I'm so ready for like real summer to happen.

Oh, I know.

We never know when these things are going to air,

but as our taping, it's still spring, and it's not warm enough. But it's where we're in LA. So it's warm enough for me. It's a whole different kind of temperature. Yeah, what's going on in Milwaukee?

Is it snowing? No, it's not snowing. It's not snowing, but it is not as warm as it is here. So you still got coats out. 40s, 50s.

Yeah, coats sweatshirts. We're probably at the sweatshirt stage now. Mm-hmm. So it hits 50. Everybody's going to be in footflops.

Yeah. You know, they're going to the pool. That's right. You're going to pool.

“That was always the crazy thing about Chicago.”

It would be 30 below, and the minute it hit like 37. People were like, "Oh, been a window!" Yes. Yes. It's summertime.

Oh, my goodness. So we're just victims of the cold. No, I know. Every time I come to LA, I'm like, "Why don't we live here?" I know.

Why? Well, yeah, why? I know. We've got two kids and two kids still in high school. Let's take it out.

We are. You too hurry up. Finish your education. Free your father and your mother. Oh, those two.

A lot of basketball. Oh, my gosh. Every weekend. Every weekend. And that's just seems to be too much.

No, it's not. I'm really having fun coaching them. Well, that's you. How are they? Are they enjoying?

Yeah, they're enjoying them. Well, Austin enjoys me coaching his oldest. My 16 year old. Yes. The oldest of the youngest.

The oldest of the young crew. Mm-hmm. He enjoys me coaching. Mm-hmm. The younger one enjoys me coaching everybody, but him.

No, I'm just kidding, Aaron. Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron doesn't mind being a coach. But he used to hate it when I was a kid. Is he getting better about being coach? Yeah, he's much better.

He's much better.

This is why I always take up for the youngest sibling.

You just can't, you know, you got to give him a minute to fit, you know. You got to give him some space to, like, decide how he wants to order himself in the household with an older sibling. Yeah, we take a minute. We laugh because he is a reincarnation of you. That's my boy.

He is a good friend. Aaron's my boy because we're the youngest. It's like me, Aaron Sasha. Leslie doesn't count. She's the youngest.

She's the youngest. She's the only girl, but she's the youngest of the oldest. Yeah. But she's a little old lady. So she doesn't count.

But Aaron, everybody's mood depends on Aaron's mood. Just like you. As it should wake up, if he's grumpy, the whole house is grumpy. If he's happy, we're all happy.

“Well, then you should just make him happy.”

Okay. Yes, I'm like grandma. All right. Let's get down. Yes.

You have one of my favorite people. Even though she talks about me. That's quite does correspondents thing. We don't have a conversation about that. Well, I got to tell you, you and I both saw legacy.

Yes. And it's like so good. So good.

And it's so good that when I, this is my first time in mind.

I see her. And I'm like, start giga with when I'm looking at her. I love thinking about legacy cracking me up. Let's do a proper introduction. Okay.

Get her out here. And the cycle is an Emmy winning stand-up comic writer. Actress and producer who has been entertaining audiences for over 20 years. No. Can you believe that?

20 years. Her new Netflix special is called Legacy, which we both you and I saw. And we cannot wait to talk to her about all things Wanda. Please welcome Wanda Sikes. Thank you.

Oh, that's okay. That's what happens this is in the way. See, Wanda is such a lovely person. She's a slay man. She's a slay man.

She's slay man. How are you? I don't know. Well, thank you. That's what I have on me.

That's what I'm talking about. Let's just clear up this White House course. Okay, let's do this.

Let's do it.

“You claim that I was talking to you too much.”

I didn't say too much. When you were watching, you were chatting, man. You were chatting and you were trying to be nice. What you and you were incredibly nice. What you have to realize the situation.

You don't remember room. Yes. Well, you know, Colin Powell was there. I mean, it was this. It was for our listeners and viewers.

How many years ago was that Wanda?

You were the first female comic host for the White House

Correspondent Center, which was. What year was that 2009? That was 2009. Yeah. Yeah.

Because our kids were just been born. They were like 12 days old. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So you were sleep deprived too.

A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah. But the way it's set up in the hotel is that they've got the big day.

Right. All the fancy people up there, all the speakers. And then usually the hosts sits next to the first lady, which is me at the time. Yes. And we go through a whole dinner, right?

Right. I mean, which seems. That seems like no fun. They should have. You know.

Yeah. I touched my food. I was going for my notes. We sat together the whole time. And you know, everybody's looking at you.

So I'm thinking, why should talk to Wanda a little bit. Just be like, hey, girl, how are you doing? And how are you kids? And you know, well, come to find out. Was focused.

You were focused. It was a big deal.

And then, you know, the first time, you know, your first time.

And personal mama and just, you know, and we're black. You know, you know, none of us. Yeah. Yeah.

What does she do? Yeah. I'm gay. I'm like. I'm going.

They did. They did. Me, right? So I was sitting awake. So some of my cats are so white.

You know, it wasn't what we go burned yourself. You know, somebody. Yeah. And he made it now.

Like, you know, my brother's out there. I'm still. I'm still having a man. So I was just really focused. And I'm, because I wanted to do a great job.

And I was just looking over my notes. And I was just running my show through the head. You know, my hand. And you just kept making conversation. It was so sweet.

It was so sweet. But I was just like. I'm like, man, everybody. I want to give you a second. Trying to figure this out.

I think I actually went. I don't even know who was on the other side of me.

“But I think I had to turn around and keep him company.”

Whoever it was. Yeah. I forgot which report I was. Yeah. You were like.

She don't want to talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's talk about your new Netflix special legacy.

Yes. Yes. You recorded it in your at your alma mater. Hampton. Yes.

That's great. What made you decide to record at Hampton? I wanted to do something big. I wanted this one to be really special. Okay.

And you know, I played different cities. And I said, well, what? You know, what? What's the place? What?

What says a lot about me? And it would be challenging for me.

“And my producing partner pays her what she's like, you should go back to your school.”

And I was like, I don't know about that. And I thought about it. And I was like, you know what? It totally makes sense to go there. One, I want to get back to the school.

Okay. I think it'd be a great experience.

And it was an incredible experience for the school and the students.

Because we put a lot of the students to work. Yeah. And also, I'm very proud of being an alumnus from Hampton. And so I wanted to, you know, give them some light on on the school and HBCUs. Yeah.

Because HBCUs are under such attack right now. And also, when I look at my audience, I'm blessed. I have a very diverse audience. But, you know, it's, it's probably more 65, 35, you know, more 65 like white people.

White people love me. Yeah. Yeah. So I wanted to take my audience and bring them to my school, to let them see that, hey, this is where I'm from.

This is what, this is what made me.

I, I'm, I'm feeling, yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's what was important.

“And how long does it take you to prepare the program for it?”

Is it, is it, is it? It is. Yeah. I try, yeah, I tour with the material for at least, at least two years. At least two years.

Yeah. This was probably three years. Yeah. Yeah.

Because it's always changing and put that in.

And take that out, you know, always writing things. So yeah. It takes, I can't, I can't do it. Like, I can't turn on that fast. Yeah.

Man, man. And what a, what a freaking gift. You know, I mean, where you always, a wonderful storyteller. I mean, when you were growing up in Virginia, Mm-hmm.

Where you were, where you were funny little kid, where you more of a storyteller, where you quiet shy. Where, where, where does this part of yourself come from? Um, my, my parents. Great storytellers.

Yeah. I grew up around, yeah, my grandmother's like, they had great storytellers. Um, I talked too much when I was a kid. I was very talkative. And, uh, and I've gotten trouble a lot.

Like, when my parents were having company over, they would send me off to my, to my grandparents. Because they, they had no idea what I was going to say. You know, um, like, yeah. I, my, my grandmother's a friend.

I, I told her, uh, she had, uh, horse teeth. Because she would laugh. Yeah.

And I was just looking at my, and they all knew.

When I was going to say something to come out. Because they said, I would make this face like. And they were like, Oh, God, here it comes. Here it comes.

“And, uh, what would just the beginning of observational comedy?”

I think so. Yeah. I had to set up, but no joke. Right. Well, no.

Yeah. So you just said exactly what you saw. This one, this one is wig was crooked. And I was like, where is your part? You know, it's like, it was just embarrassing.

It was embarrassing for them. Uh, and then I would get trouble. I would get trouble. So what did trouble look like? Um, this was a snake.

Did you get a little snake in the mouth? Go get a switch. Uh-huh. Go get a switch. Uh-huh.

Did you behave in school? Yes. Oh, I had to. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't mess up at school.

Yeah. No, no, no. Uh-huh. And both of your folks were military or just my dad. Just my dad.

Just my dad's an army. Yeah. What's he like that military dad? No. You know what?

It was cool. Because he didn't want us to live on on base either. We lived off base. It was also to give him a break too. Yeah.

You know, so he would come home and take the uniform off and just speak. You know, dad, you know. He was, I mean, the black man. So there was rules. Yeah.

Yeah. Just, you know. I was noticing that both of your parents went to college. No, my dad. Your dad did.

Okay. I'm on that. Yeah. And, and, and, but your mom worked. Yes.

Yeah. But she started off in working on a newspaper. Okay. The Virginia pilot. I think she was doing ad sales.

Were they any either of them naturally funny or? Yes. Yeah. Both my parents were funny. Yeah.

Very funny. Um. Yeah. My, and they were really good. Um.

Uh. Mimics. You know, like, if they think they would tell a story, whatever. Something like that church. They were going to character.

And. Yeah. And it was really good at that. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I mean, maybe that's where I, you know, pick some of. Pick some of it up from. Yeah. Because they would do that. And this, the, the, the, did you write as a kid?

I did. Um. I remember it was like a, a smokey to bear. Contest or whatever. And you had to write a story.

And then I did. I want to prize.

“I think I was like first grade or something.”

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why we're funny. I don't know how I got here. And it's like, we'll find out.

Yeah. Oh, I won 12. Digions when I was like. Yeah. I was really scared of it.

Yeah. And my whole house. Oh, it's funny. Everybody is. Oh, it's cracking.

It's cracking. Right. It was my uncle, Richard, prior. No, no, no, no. [laughter]

[music] This episode is brought to you by progressive insurance. A company committed to helping people move forward and live fully.

At what point, living somewhere new, do you think it really starts to feel like home?

Hmm.

“I think it's, for me, it's when routines are in place.”

Kids are settled, although our kids are grown out. But when we were moving, they were little, you know. When they felt settled in a new school and they started making friends. And life started to feel more routine. That's when it starts to feel like home.

Well, you know, I don't really feel settled somewhere until I've tried every single local

sandwich shop and know exactly which one is my new favorite.

When you move to your new place, whether it was in New Jersey or DC, was there anything that you immediately did make you feel settled or comfortable? Well, I think it's, you know, getting, it was getting our items in place. You know, I mean, I'm a traveler who likes to unpack safely. Yeah.

Like, I don't feel settled and not just in home or in vacation until every item is unpacked and put in drawers so that it feels like, you know, I'm not living out of suitcase cases. And the same is true when we were moving as a family. You know, when you're living out of boxes, when you don't, you know, feel like you know how to access and get to your stuff right away.

You feel like you're visiting. So once we, you know, get everything settled in, that's when I started to breathe the sigh of, ah, we're here. Now, going through the home buying process with no experience can be quite daunting. But progressive is here to help make it all a bit more approachable. As part of their open-the-house initiative, progressive offers practical tools, educational resources,

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to help close that last gap.

“Want to learn more about the Up Payment Program and Progressive's commitment to first-time home buyers?”

Visit progressive.com/openthehouse where home buyers can discover more about housing challenges and access resources and support to empower them in their housing journey. So was there a lot of discipline? You know, or were your parents like the kind of parents that, well, when company wasn't around and you weren't embarrassing them, were they interested?

I mean, were they encouraging of your voice? I remember my mother, I was outside playing with some friends, and she yelled out the window. Wanda, I said, "Yes, ma'am, fix your voice." Fix your voice. And now I get paid for having this voice.

Yes, that's a good voice. It's very distinctive. Thanks, guys. You didn't listen. Right.

“What other stuff did they want you to do that you ignored?”

Probably not be gay, probably. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. And then you said, "Nah, it's working for you."

That worked for me. When did you start being aware of yourself? And I'm not just talking about your sexuality, but aware of your uniqueness as a person. I think when I was working at NSA, and so it's like, "Okay, I've got my degree. I've got a good government job, security, and I just fell out of place."

I was like, "This is not what I'm supposed to be doing for the next 20 years, 20, 25 years."

And I remember in high school, yearbook, and everyone wrote how, "You're so funny."

“You should, you know, you need to be on stage and college, same thing.”

I was asking my sorority, "This is like, y'all think I'm funny." It's like, "Oh, girl, you will crack us up on the time." I'm like, "Well, all right. You know, did you ever do theater or any kind of stand-up, or you were just the friend that was funny?"

I was the friend that was funny. I did do some theater in high school. You bought to remember something again. And high school. But what did I do?

I played the drums in one of the plays. Yeah, and I didn't really have many lines, but I played drums in bands. But I loved theater and I loved hanging around, you know, that group. But what did you major in in marketing? Marketing.

So when you were at the NSA and you were like, "I'm not doing this for 20 years." What was the step you took? Or did you stay there a little longer and said, "Let me try this out." While I'm working there, did you go cold turkey? No, I stayed there until I was able to at least save up a nice,

you know, lump sum, and then was able to play in clubs and like be the MC or the middle act of the future, right? And do that enough where I felt like I could, you know? So you did that while you were still at the NSA. So what did you look up comedy clubs and just go to one?

I knew that was coming. I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. I knew that was coming. I knew that was coming.

Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming.

Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was coming.

I got a little desk and wrote some jokes and went there on audition. The guy was like, yeah, you're on the show. And I first time being on stage, no idea what I was doing. But I told my little jokes, people laugh and I was like, this is cool. And the MC and the Evans, he was, you know, the popular guy in DC.

And he was like, who are you on whip? Which you come from?

I've never seen you on the clubs.

I've never been put in a club. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So he didn't even show me around. And you had long to a comedy club before? No.

“How were you when you went to this first, did this first contest?”

Let me see, that was in, that was in 87. So that would, that would me. I was like 20. Was that 24 or 20? The close enough man.

It required me. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Okay.

Okay. Early 20. Thank God. Just free handed wrote those jokes without like looking up joke writing. You're just like this, this is a funny story.

I watched a lot of comedy. You know, yeah. I watched a lot of comedy growing up and love, you know, of course, you know, prior and all that. George Carlin and like my favorite as a kid was Mom's Maple. Joke Mom's Maple.

Yeah. Yeah. You played those, those records. Yeah. You used to walk around and, and, like, just like,

Oh my god. I don't talk to you. That really is a kid. Yeah. As a kid.

Oh my god. It would make my grandma the last. I would always. Yeah.

“So did you have a seat or not when you go to hell?”

Yeah. I guess. See, we did. We had to go to our graph out of this house to hear Mom's Maple because she cursed. Yeah.

And my parents. We didn't have any moms. Maybe we were. But we had Richard Potter. Yeah.

We had. But that was when we were older. We were older. We were older. Yeah.

So, all right. So you're at the comedy club. So you're doing this while you're still working. Uh-huh.

Do you remember your first bit?

What you talked about? I know I'm asking about memory. Yeah. I know. I'm really saying what.

Take a minute. Take my ginkgo to date. No. I don't know. I remember one bit.

It was about the. You know, the the auto shade. The big cardboard sunglasses. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, uh, there's instructions on the side. You know, you know, on a. And I was like, who needs these instructions? You know, like, he tells you to remove the auto shade before driving. I'm like, you really need to be driving.

Right. You need the structures. You know, like, you go on down the boat. Where you see this car coming towards you with things. He's like, he didn't read the insurance.

He didn't read the insurance. He didn't read the insurance. So it was observation stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't until. Man. I was like, probably.

Uh, like, I guess the I'm going to be me special.

So that was like 2008 or whatever. Um, a little bit for that.

“I think is when I started to get like really personal, you know,”

talk about. Um, talk about myself. Yeah. So after the one the contest did life blow up. I didn't win.

You didn't win. I was the. I did not win. But, uh, close second. Uh, I didn't win.

Uh, yeah. I just started, you know, Andy took me around D.C. And, uh, visit the comedy clubs. And, uh, I was like, okay. This is, this is what I, I want to do.

And then I then I just bombed. It's like just ridiculous bomb. Because I now I'm exposed to it.

And I see how it could go horribly wrong.

Right. So you lose. So now, you know, you get nervous. And I was just full of confidence. Yeah.

Yeah. Because that is really better. So now that I was like, oh, oh, God. This is awful. Yeah.

I would just go up and just bomb. So when do you get used to that process, right? Because that, that is a, but it has to be right. Because you don't know whether something is funny until you test it out. Right.

And it could be the order of what you said. And then you realize, oh, I left that part out. But so you, you have to get used to. Right. Bombing.

Yes. You do. And oh, it sucks. It really does. I mean, you lose sleep.

You know, your food don't taste right. Just. The sky's not as blue. It's, it's horrible. And you don't get over until you have a, you know, a good show that.

Which I mean, but now it's not as intense when a joke doesn't go well. Because I have so many jokes that I know work. Or, you know, you can laugh you way out of it. Or, um, yeah. So I'm, I'm okay with it.

Yeah. And then you're just so good now. Well, yeah. Well, I was like, no, I just don't. Yeah, I just don't.

It just doesn't happen. Yeah. Not a whole show. Yeah.

What was your first big break?

You know, when you felt like that, and I'm a, quit my job. You went through it on your pink slip. I, well, actually, I quit. I didn't even quit. I asked.

I went to the department head and asked for a leave of absence. Because I want to hold up to my health. Yeah. Yeah. So he was like, you know, what?

I'm going to give you a year. Go do it. And, you know, if it works out great. If not, come, you know, we want you back here. Perfect.

Yeah, so I just started touring and, you know, hitting the clubs. And it made, it all made sense. And I got the Chris Rock show. I was a writer on it on a Chris Rock show. That was a major thing.

Yeah.

“I think that was the, that was the real big break for me.”

So how did that happen? Did he see you somewhere? Yes, sir. I opened for him a caramelizing. This is when he was preparing for, uh, bring the pain.

Yeah. And he was like, hey, funny. I, you know, I'm a, I'm a, I remember you. Yeah. Yeah.

So when he got his talk show on HBO, I got a call and said, hey, Chris Rock wants you to submit some writing materials. I'm like, sure. So I, you know, wrote some stuff, sent it in and got the job. How did it feel being in a room of writers going from you just, you know, sitting at your desk to now you're at a table full of peers. Well, luckily, a couple of them, I was already friends with because they were stand up comics.

Yeah. So they were, I was only one, too. The only female. Yeah. So it was nice to see guys who I, or, you know, had like a little, come, come, come Rotary with, you know, they were good.

So it was, uh, they, yeah, they were, they didn't cut me any slack though. You know, it was, you know, everybody, everybody. Right, right, for themselves, you know. And as far as you still do and stand up while you're like, after him, so you just keep writing. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because, and that, that was my favorite thing is I would, um, submit monologue jokes. And if they didn't make it into the, uh, into the monologue, he didn't, intellect them.

How's, like, huh, he don't think this funny watch there. You know, and I'm going to add to the comedy cellar and do the jokes and get last.

“I told you, they're like, who was she saying I told you to?”

Like, you know, like, it was like, I have a fit one thing. Like, I do a joke. Yeah, I told him. I told him. Like, what's she talking to?

So, and how did your comedy style evolve? I mean, did you feel your growth through all of this process, you know, what,

Uh, through through through through this, you know, through these stages of growth.

Yeah, I think confidence. Yeah. And confidence.

“And, um, and you just have to have that, the, the desire to do it.”

You know, it is some comedians out here who are doing the same jokes they've been doing. Forever. Um, because it's safe. I like, I like the, you know, the edginess. I like to, to take some risks.

Yeah. So, for me, you know, in my aging, you know, drows are nuts, but as soon as the special comes out, I'm like, well, uh, I gotta go make some more jokes. So, she's like, well, you know, you can still, still tour with these,

this act. I'm like, now it's done.

Um, you know, I'm done with it.

Really. Yeah. So, so after you do a special show, like, let, like, legacy, then you won't go around. You're gonna start off from scratch. Scratch.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, see, I didn't realize that's how. Well, we should use your jokes. You're not gonna use it.

Go ahead. Go ahead, man. Enjoy. Enjoy. It's like, he's good jokes.

It's just, she's just over now. It's just like, well, that was funny. It's not gonna be funny. Yeah. It's like, it's not like singers.

Singers, you know, same song, musician. They do same song over and over again. You still want to hear. Yeah. Yeah.

“And at what point did you say, okay, I can act.”

And I'm gonna be in in these movies. Oh, I did. I didn't know I could. I didn't know that. Um, actually, it started on the Chris Rock show.

We had a crew for a day and we were shooting some, some sketches. Um, and then, you know, producer being on a good line producer. She's like, look, we, you know, you have three more hours with the crew. You guys have anything we can shoot. That's really quick.

And maybe something in the office. And the guys went, they wrote something, uh, a video mama. And it's like, want to be video mama. I was like, I'm, I'm, I'm a writer. I'm not on campus.

I know that you can do it. You can be video mama. And it's a video tape that you can play. And she watches the kids. So you just sit your kids for the TV.

So, you know, so I'm in there. I'm like, hey, put that thing. You know, when you're going, you know, it's like the video. Yeah. I wish you would.

I wish you would. You know, see that. Yeah. So we shot that and got a big laugh. Um, they, they just started writing the end to more, uh, more bits.

This episode is brought to you by progressive insurance. A company committed to helping people move forward and live fully. You know, when you're thinking about buying a home, you're not just buying a house. You're buying a neighborhood, a commute, a school system, everything. And at the same time, you're thinking long term.

“What's this going to look like in a few years from now?”

Is this somewhere you can grow into? Is it going to work for your day-to-day life? And I think that's the part that can feel really overwhelming. Trying to flash forward and imagine your life. One, two, 10 years from now.

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As one example, this year they're expanding their up payment program now in year two. By offering down payment assistance of up to $13,500 each to at least 200 eligible first time home buyers. Want to learn more about the up payment program and progressives commitment to first time home buyers? Visit Progressive.com/openthehouse where home buyers can discover more about housing challenges and access resources and support to empower them in their housing journey. So when did you get your first, were you doing after Chris Rock, were you just now writing and, you know, the work just comes after that?

Did you find or were you still, you know, plotting a career, were you, was your stand-up getting bigger, were you going to bigger audiences?

So for the first, it was a half hour, then I got an hour, then it was a big tour after that. And oh, then I, because of the Chris Rock show Eddie Murphy, you know, fan of Chris, I got a part in 90 professors. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're good. That was good.

Yeah, golden.

“Oh, that's what I got into the hairdryer.”

Yeah. So yeah, I love this special legacy where, you know, I mean, yeah, how are you feeling about the political climate? I mean, you know, it's, it is awful, it's awful. I mean, it's a,

But it, but here's the thing that, that's the, we were stuck in the shittiest escape room.

That's what it feels like. We have been stuck in the shittiest escape room ever. I mean, you know, all the clues and then redact this. You can't, you just can't get out. I can't get out.

So you need to hear you tell me to get this out. This is, this is awful. It's like free us. Yeah, yeah, but here's the thing. Like, it's, it's, it's bad as it is, right?

There's, I think with us, with us, with us sense of, we, we're going to get through it. We're going, we're going, we're going to get through it, right? Yeah. But it's like, well, why are we out? Protests, because my wife, you know, she's Fred, so she's like, you know, in France.

They, they just, they just shut shut down. It's like, they just shut it down. That's it.

And it's like, why aren't you doing that?

“Why, I don't understand why, why isn't people reacting?”

It's modern like this. I'm like, because we go, you know, yeah, this is really bad. Oh, man. I says, you know, deported people. Oh, wow.

They're killing people. Oh, okay. But my Netflix is only. You know, it's like, you know, it's like squirrel. Yeah.

Exactly. Exactly. We, it's, it's, it's, we have too much stuff, basically. Yeah. You know, when you have a lot, and it's, oh, what they don't want over their own.

That's bad, you know, but well, as bad as you think something will be.

It's like the, the speed at which we forget about it is pretty amazing.

Yes. To me, you know, and we'll be outraged. Yes. Because in, in legacy, I mean, people really connect with the jokes. I mean, you're talking about immigration.

You're talking about racism. I mean, so when people laugh about this stuff, there's a connection. I mean, you're, you're loosening a valve in, in people. So don't you get a sense that, you know, people like you said people care. They do.

People are affected. Absolutely.

“And, and that's what that's the feedback that I get is they appreciate that I am speaking”

on these things because they need a release. They need that, that valve release. They do because of, um, because you feel like you're not doing anything or you're just under a rock. So when you bring these issues up and bring them to light and and allow them to laugh about it. Then, you know, people, people really appreciate it, you know.

And I hope it makes them think a little, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's, but you're not just talking about it. And I love the way you talk about the greed massed as benevolence.

Mm-hmm. You know, right. It's like if you really want to be green, why don't you take some money off of our books? Yeah. That, uh, asking me to save some time.

Get believe that. No, we're not changing. No, true. What? We mean a change in my sheets.

That's the whole point, right? That's the whole best of us. You mean at a hotel. You don't get a bad change by sheets. Yeah.

I sleep in my dirty sheets at home. No, I want fresh sheets. Yeah. And towels. And towels.

I want them. From a park. Yeah. I used all the towels. Yep.

Right, boo. Yeah, boo. But towel. Everything. Use them all.

Use all that stuff. Uh, so you, you talk more about your family and legacy. Yeah. And it, and you mentioned your wife, Alex, being from France. How did you guys meet?

We met, um, what? I saw her on a, on a ferry going, uh, over to Fire Island.

I don't know.

I'll offer the long island.

Yeah. Um. So yeah, something I, I, I just saw in a. Peripheral man. It's like, wow, okay.

And I, I, like, heard something that's it.

“Like, wanted us, that's, that's what you need.”

Mm. And I was like, Were you dating at the time? Were you dating? Were you dating?

Were you dating? Were you dating now? But, um. [laughs] I was maybe dating.

Okay. But, but not in a relationship. Yeah. Okay. There you go.

Yeah. Okay. You know what? Yeah. Um.

Because it was like, you were looking at what you needed. Which sounded like you were getting a lot of what you didn't need. Perhaps. Well. The pier.

A lot of my, one, my friend was like, where do you, what you meet? No, these crazy women from waste. See there? Tell us about the Korean women. Oh.

No. Because we, because when you talk about, I say you bring a big, big pack up. [laughs] I can walk out of here. Something like, hey there!

I'm like, oh, oh, please. Oh. Yeah. [laughs] It's like candy man.

You can't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Nope. Um. I'm not talking about, right? [laughs]

Nope. Nope. Nope. But you, you had enough bad experiences to be like, Hmm.

That looks good. That looks good. Okay. I just, my, um, I had a therapist and, and she passed away, but we only, uh, spoke on the phone. Okay.

She never, she didn't see people in, you know, face-to-face.

So she didn't see any. People think so. Oh, wow. I don't think so. Okay.

Maybe a couple. Okay.

“But um, so she had passed, you know, and, and I heard her, that's what I heard.”

It's a wanted. That's what you need. Um, and other people who, who we're seeing, who it, you know, was said that she was popping up little signs and stuff. Hmm.

Yeah. Same way. Um, and I, and I thought she meant that, because, because Alex was sitting with this other woman, uh, and they were playing with a kid. So I was like, oh, maybe that's what she's saying.

Like, yeah. You know. Uh, and. Yeah. Oh, so short.

The person I was dating. Um. Oh, so yeah. We're a little smart. Yeah.

Yeah. We have. We have fallen out. Okay. On the boat.

Yeah. So then, uh, I walk with my friend and she's like, why don't you say when you, you know, you mean somebody's like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, you don't. She's like, well, um, and we, if I feel okay. So how's your date going?

And I started telling her what I did. This is like, no, I don't know what I'm like. What's the, what you did? Just say, you know, you're beautiful and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's coin.

So she's like, and don't talk about your dog. Nobody cares about your dog. So that was your big friend. Yeah. So I'm walking.

Oh, welcome, my friend. And we bump into a friend of she knows. And it's like, hey, Juan, this is so, so. Uh, Juan, this is. Uh, my friend Mary.

And she's like, how you doing, Juan? I was like, well, I got up at eight. I had some oatmeal. And he's my dog. You know, and she's looking at me like, what?

Yeah. And I was like, and I'm remodeling my kitchen.

“And she's like, okay, she said, well, you should talk to my friend Alex.”

She sent a natural stone. Oh, no man. Well, that's, she was on the ferry. So we started talking. Oh, wow.

And from there. That was it. And it was, that was it. That was it. That was it.

Nice. And y'all got married and had kids. Yes.

Was that always in your dance car?

Absolutely not. No man. Was, was Alex like, look, this is, you, you get me. Yep. This is, okay.

She's like, put down the gold. Yeah. She's like, I want kids. I'm going to have kids. And I was like, okay.

Um, and I asked, I said, look, can we, like, just, can you hold off? Like, give me a, give me at least like a year. And let's try to figure out, no, I didn't ask for you. I said, can we hold off like, like, so give me like three, six months. And let's see where this is going.

Yes. That's right. Because this is, you know, where I think is going. And I'll probably get there. But she's like, okay, so she did.

She's maybe, um, I guess, maybe a year.

Yeah. Yeah. Mets of timber. Yep. About a year and a half, I think.

So your, your world, you just went from zero to everybody's. Yeah. Now, how did your dog react? Yeah. That's what you're talking about that.

Yeah. What's your dog's name? His name was Riley. His name was Riley. Right.

Yeah. Riley. We bought the kids home. Riley looked up at me. And it was like he said, you asked up.

He was like, yeah. He's like, we had it so good. It's like, I should do this. This is going to suck. You know that, right?

You, you, you really messed up. You messed up. So what did, what was the adjustment period? So, you know, you got, you meet the, the right person, the love of your life. You date for a little bit.

You decide this is it. Now you're married with kids. Did it feel like your head was about to spin off the changes in your life that happened. You know, and how did you manage the adjustment? It felt, it felt right.

It was a lot. It was a lot. But it, it just felt like, okay. No, this is, this is how it's supposed to be. I felt like I was in, in my place.

Yeah. And I felt like bless, really blessed.

Like kids now, you know, because I never thought that I would, I would be a mom.

And now, you know, my whole, whole last mom. Yeah, man. Discipline and everything, huh? How old are they now? They just turned 17.

17. Oh, so you, in it. Yeah. In it. You were really in it.

Yes. Yeah. Who's the disciplinarian? You were Alex. I would say more on my part, you know.

Um, I mean, Alex is strong. She's, she's, she's strong with them too.

“But when they don't listen, she'll, would you tell them, okay?”

And then I get mad. Like, why, why do I have to tell y'all? Well, just listen to her. You were just, just listen to her. But why, why, you don't want to do this to you.

Yeah, I like that. You don't like me. You know, right? Okay. So just, that's me and I also.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You, you, you, you, you make a feel like you're doing them a favor. Right.

That's, yeah. I'm, I'm a hook you up on how to not get in trouble. Right. Or you're in trouble with me, huh? Yeah.

You don't want to be in trouble with me. It's just a great cycle of ethical advantage. Yeah. Yeah. Life is over.

Yes. You're in trouble with me. Yeah. Did you go through the spanking, no spanking thing? Oh, right.

Yeah. You can talk about that on legacy, right? Yeah. We said no spanking, but then somebody need to get stuck. Yeah.

Sometimes you need more than words. Yeah. You know, well, they're all different. Yeah.

You know, I always thought, like, kids should know what a spanking is.

Right. Because you can't threaten something that they don't know. Right.

“So, you know, and I had two girls and girls are pretty bright, you know?”

Right. One more pop, and it's just like, oh, that wasn't pleasant. Right. It wasn't pleasant for me. That's true.

It hurt me as much as it hurt them. Mm-hmm. But it was like now it was just a good, then it became just a good threat. Right. Don't make me.

Right. And it's like, and they were like, yeah, probably. That's not, that's not necessary. But I do believe that every now and then. Did you get a spanking ever?

Oh, yeah. I didn't get many. You didn't get a spanking ever. Neither of us got many. Right.

I don't remember you getting. Yeah. I remember the jump rope jump rope jump rope. Jump rope. Jump rope jump rope.

Yeah. I remember getting it. Yeah. I remember you getting it, too. Yeah.

I was usually cheering her on from the back, you know, running after him.

“But the, I remember the last spanking you guy ever got.”

And this was our household. My mother loved laugh. And she had a great sense of humor. And we could make her laugh. And Craig had done some things.

You probably did something to me. Right. And I said, mom, you know. And she's like, boy, I told you she grabbed the belt. And this time he's ran.

She, you know. Chase me around the house. And she's running behind him. And I'm behind her. I'm like, get him.

She's hopping over furniture. And our house is a little busy. I mean, I'm sure she's thinking. Boy, if you don't stop running, you know. And then we hopped over a chair and got on the couch and grab my stuff.

Snoop. And put it in front of him. It was like, mom, don't hit me.

You know, because it was ridiculous.

You know, it's like here. And Chase and this little boy around. And I was probably big by then. Because I was older. Right.

“And she just took the jump rope and just like dropped it.”

And that was it. That was the last. And I was like potential spanking. What? No justice.

Is this what we're doing? And that was the last one. And that we had that with that. That was the last one. And our own.

So yeah, you just have to like you say, it's just the threat of it. Yeah. They know. I remember I forgot my. Which I'm not my mom dropped me off my grandma.

This is where I was catching the bus.

And I left my books in the car.

So I was like, I can't go to school. I don't have any books to teach. I'm going to be yelling at me. And the kids are going to make fun of me. My grandma's okay.

You can stay home. And you say, well, you know, we got to tell your mom, you know, that you didn't go to school. So now I'm stressed over that. You know.

Yeah. I'm stressed over that.

“So I came up with my grandmother to build.”

I was like, well, you just beat me yourself. So it's definitely tough. It's been done. It's tough. It's tough.

I can't look like this all the day. I just told you, don't let me get this back. And then I can do it. Yeah. Exactly.

She laughs so hard. She's good. No, she's good. No.

And she told my mother, don't you beat that girl.

She already beat herself up enough today. I swear to God, Wanda, after, because my, my team watched legacy too. And this one crystal on the gas pass. She's like, man, tell me that that doesn't happen. I mean, literally, we're on the plane.

I'm like, it's fine. I don't know. It does. It's coming. Can you talk about what you're talking about?

Oh, yeah. I hit my 60s and I don't know where all this gas come from. But it's just a lot of gas. A lot of gas. And you really have the focus on not passing gas.

Exactly. Because if you relax, it's, it's going to happen. It just, it just happens. And I was a talk to one of my good friends. She's a, you know, CEO, big job.

And she's like, girl, how is it? I'm meeting. And, and I stood up and it just. I just, and they all heard it. I was like, oh, my gosh, what did you do?

She's, I just said, meetings adjourned. [LAUGHTER] See, because when you're in your six days, you run the meeting. Right by that time, you can pass gas in the meeting that you run in. Right.

Right.

“I told, that's how you have to end all your meetings now.”

You know, I don't know. I just, how it's going to go. And how's Esther role doing? Oh, Esther. You look pretty good.

Well, I mean, she looks like she's living somewhere else. No, Esther's here. If I, yeah, I lived this, this top of you. Esther is there. She is there.

Actually, when I was, I'm editing, when I was editing, uh, legacy. I was like, oh, boy. And uh, but I produced a part. She was like, you see, Esther, don't you?

I was like, yeah. Look at Esther. Esther just living her best life. That's just all out. Yeah.

She's like, you know, you could have worn like a body shape. Or in a sense, like, no, I can't, I can't, I can't. How can you do it for you? I do it for you. I can't.

I'm rolling around. You saved your knowledge. I know. I had to crack the rib if I wanted one of a body shape. But um, so yeah, I just let Esther out.

Um. You let her live. I let her live. Yeah. When I hit my 40s, Esther popped up.

That fat roll. That fat roll. That's like, what is this? And how's the one crunches? And she was, she was, she was determined.

That's the one determined. That's the one determined. That's the one's climbing out of space. I was like, I was like, so, I don't know. It's nice show.

And I had been, I just heard. Oh, I was like, it's a cool one. That's the one. Just work her way out of the space. And then just lay it out.

Hey, Jay. I was like, like, no, no. I just, I made this roll. She's, you know. So I pulled the Costco.

That's like, you see. Oh boy.

She loves, she loves Costco.

That's the love Costco. Oh boy. It's so many. She loves Costco.

“And now she's, I'd say that's just, you know, been a little depressed.”

Because whenever it goes zipping commercials, Come on, I hear it just. I'm like, that's so slow. He's like, oh, my friends are gone. That's like.

Yeah. Oh. Told I wouldn't do that to her. Oh, my goodness. I said, I'm not going to do it to you.

Don't worry about it. But what, but you do look great. Why don't you look great. So you got to be doing something besides taking ester to Costco. I'm boxing now.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's my, that's a lot of my training. How often are you in the, in the training?

Yeah. I mean, if, if I'm not working, if I'm home, I, I try to at least like five times a, you know, five days a week. Oh, man.

Yeah. I have a great train of Cameron and he'll pull the mitts. Yeah. So I, I hit the mitts. And we'll, you know, do some strength training.

Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I felt fell in love with it because I had, I did a movie, a drama.

And it's boxing. Yeah. So I had to learn how to hold mitts. Yeah. And then I just stay with it.

Yeah.

“When did you do the, when did you film this is undercut undercard?”

Undercard. I'm sorry. Undercard. We filmed this in Puerto Rico two years ago. Yeah.

I think so. It was two years ago. Yeah. The first dramatic role. Yeah.

And man, it was hot in Puerto Rico. That was the different kind of heat. Yeah. Yeah. But it was, yeah.

I love shooting it. Love the cast. The director, Tomica. Everyone. It was just a great experience.

So I'm excited that that's finally going to be out.

Yeah. People going to be able to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Is it going to start streaming? It'll be available for rent or to buy. May 18th. Oh. Yeah.

Like Apple or. Oh, yeah. It's a beautiful story. You want to just talk a bit about it. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. Undercard. Yeah. Undercard is.

I play a former boxer. Who's now trained or struggling with addiction. She's raising her. Her sisters. Child.

Her sister passed away. And she also is trying to reunite with her. The older son, who's a boxer. And she had to give him up when he was very young because of her addictions. And yes, it's just this woman trying to, you know, when in the ring and now, you know, when in life and try to reunite with her family and it's really, it's a family story, but it's just set in the world of boxing.

I would have never known that that was your exposure to boxing that film.

You didn't box before this. Right. You look like a, you look like a former champ in there. Yeah. Yeah.

And you guns out. And everything. Sure. But it's a really beautiful movie. And I watched it.

And I didn't fall asleep. Oh, oh, thank you. Stayed up. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is saying something. Yeah. No, but it's a really beautiful, beautiful film.

“Is there anything at this point that you haven't done that you wish you could do?”

Actually, I did tell my, uh, publishers that I wanted to do this. I did. I did. I did. I really asked her for things.

Oh, my God. But I was like, I want, I want to do. Yeah. Oh. Could you tell us about talking about me?

Yeah. That's the one that got this. That's, yeah, man. Yeah. Thank you.

Yes. Well, you have definitely worked out this, this special. Thank you. It is. It is everything.

It is laugh out loud. Um, and not too too dirty. You're not in that much. No. You know, so you can have the older kids watch it.

But, you know, I just thank you for, you know, all that you do. But we're, we do have our listener question. Yes. We, because we do give advice here. Okay.

And I've got our mobile. We try to give back. We do to the people who were listening. And now they got, they got Wanda. Okay.

Okay.

My husband and I are thinking about buying a home.

“And we're trying to decide what matters most as we start a family.”

We have a three and a five year old. We love the idea of being in a neighborhood with a strong sense of community. It reminds me of my own childhood where neighbors looks out for each other. And it felt safe for kids to grow up. At the same time, we know that school quality is really important.

And we're weighing whether it makes more sense to prioritize that from the start. Even if it means living somewhere we feel less connected to. My husband feels like we should choose a neighborhood we love and figure out the logistics later.

Whether that's commuting or finding other options.

But I personally worry that the day-to-day reality of that would become exhausting, especially if more of the responsibility falls on me. My question is, how do you decide between a place that feels like home right away. And one that might offer better long-term opportunities for your kids. As a fellow Chicagoan, I know the commute you had to witness on my own mother moved us to the suburbs.

So a decent high school would be closer to our home. Appreciate your advice. If it's job related, then you sort of have to do what you got to do. Right. And that's not new.

“I mean, I think parents, families throughout, you know, the history.”

You know, you go where, you know, mom and dad can earn a living. And that's certainly true if you're a military kid. You know, and you remember how resilient kids can be. So sometimes you just don't have a choice. But I've been talking more about because what we do lose in that job move is that a lot of family

is they don't have support. Right. So you move for a job. Now it's you and your partner and the kids. But you don't live in that extended family unit, which is how we grew up.

You know, I mean, we grew up on the South Side of Chicago where everybody lived within like a five mile radius. I mean, literally, you know, uncles, aunties, all of our grandparents. You could walk around the corner.

You could get in a car, drive five minutes and be at another family's house, which meant that there was always some support.

“You know, especially when it came to childcare, right?”

So now you, you know, if you got some aunt, a cousin, a grandparents, somebody who can step in, you know, and help out. So I think that's a long way of saying, if you have a choice factor in community and support. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know if I care as much about the house or the school. If it's not a horrible school district, you know, I mean, if it's not dangerous, which is in some instances, you know, I want to cross town because the high school right by me was a little, you know, it was a little dangerous at the time.

I was gone there, right? So to me, it was worth going across town to a school that was a college prep school. But we still lived in our neighborhood, you know, we still lived around the corner from grandparents and uncles and aunts. And that meant something, you know? Yeah.

I agree with that. But it didn't seem like they have like a standard family. Yeah, they didn't come up, didn't even come up. But yeah, I agree that if you find a community where you feel comfortable and you can build those relationships. Like we were very lucky.

I wear Alex was living in this community when I met her. So, you know, it was the the cop next door and then, you know, started meeting this group of friends and there was, there's a little, she has this little French contingency there. So we, um, were surrounded by people who became family for us. So as the kids get older, their kids were getting older and we would, you know, look out for each other. So that is important and a good, a good school district.

Um, you want that because you, you know, especially, you don't want to have to pay for school. If, if you're not happy with the deer with the public school. Um, but if, but for me, I need to be close to an airport. Yeah, you know, it's just for your business. I think it's considered also how quickly can I get in and out.

Yeah. And you know, I will say, don't underestimate the resilience of your kids because I, my career after I left corporate Americans started coaching coaches move all the time and we moved a lot.

They were about, well, the oldest was about to go on the high school and he wanted to go to Whitney Young where she went.

“And we moved to Providence and it was hard on him and hard on our daughter.”

But then once we moved the first time, it made it easier to move the next time and then the next time and it became easier.

And what we stayed focused on was trying to move somewhere where we could build a community. But we were our community. We, we wanted to make sure we, we knew. Uh, we would all be together in this and we had the ability to make a community wherever we went. So don't, I would say to Joanna, don't underestimate the resiliency.

I know you're not talking about moving around a lot, but, you know, your kids will be okay as long as they're safe. Yeah.

“They'll be okay. They'll be able to bounce back quicker than we can.”

And just make sure you check that predator website, too.

I don't smell that out there, you just make, that's a good point. It's a good point. Manda, this would give us a good point. Just make sure they're not predators. Well, thank you, hopefully that was Lisa. Joanna, Joanna, Joanna, that's okay.

Joanna, that's okay. Joanna, girl.

“That's what happens when you get older, Crystal.”

Right.

His gas and then their general forgiveness of everything.

Yeah. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you for this. Thank you for putting us on your dance course.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Love you. You're a huge fan.

We're a big fan. We're a big fan. Well, the legacy is going to be well received. People will love it. And by the time this comes out, hopefully everybody's seeing it and

commenting about it and all of that. And then watch undercard. It's really a beautiful film. Thank you. Coming out on somewhere where things stream.

Or anywhere where you stream. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much. Thanks again to our friends at Progressive Insurance for sponsoring this episode.

For more information, visit Progressive.com/openthehouse.